An Irish Tale

Subject: RE: An Irish Tale
From: bseed(charleskratz)
Date: 02 Jul 99 - 03:02 AM

"Madam, I'm Adam." Smiling an evil, toothless smile, he added suggestively, "A man, a plan, a canal: Panama."

--seed

Subject: RE: An Irish Tale
From: Rita64
Date: 02 Jul 99 - 03:02 AM

"Inky pinky ponky
Daddy bought a donkey
Donkey died, daddy cried
Inky pinky ponky!"

And with that fair Bridget ran screaming into the dark night. Weeping and moaning (for no-one knew her shocking secret) and blinded by tears she stumbled through two large stone pillars and vanished.

Subject: RE: An Irish Tale
From: alison
Date: 02 Jul 99 - 02:42 AM

her first born son, a truly angelic looking boy ....she laid him in the cradle and turning around to the fire to warm herself she heard a rushing noise behind her. Quickly she rushed back to her child and to her horror found that he had been replaced with a changeling, an ugly wrinkled old man's face looked back at her. Terrified, she gasped. He opened his mouth and said...........

Subject: RE: An Irish Tale
From: gargoyle
Date: 02 Jul 99 - 12:55 AM

However, having been planted wtih a Big Shot of Seed, the entire process of gesticulation fully materialized, and the days were accomplished that she should be delivered and she brought forth....

Subject: RE: An Irish Tale
From:
Date: 01 Jul 99 - 11:12 PM

Meanwhile, across the lush green valley, the beguiling fair maiden, Briget O'Quinn, raised her lilting voice in a tender love song...

Subject: RE: An Irish Tale
From: alison
Date: 01 Jul 99 - 11:06 PM

the faery looked at Big Mick with that lecherous glint in his eyes, and said, "would you look at the size of you ye big eejit, we'd need some very strange magic for that to work."

Subject: RE: An Irish Tale
From:
Date: 01 Jul 99 - 10:56 PM

ye should never interup' a pokin' pooka!

Subject: RE: An Irish Tale
From: Big Mick
Date: 01 Jul 99 - 10:44 PM

"Bejazus, Fair One," sez he, "but I was just enjoying a lovely bit of sleep, and I don't need to tell ye what Ole John O' Dreams was showing me. Could ye not wake up Finn for this one?" Grumbling he raised his giant body up and prepared to enter the fray. When he saw what the pooka was doing to the cow, he smiled and turned to the Fair Faery of the North, with a wry smile, and said.........

Subject: RE: An Irish Tale
From: alison
Date: 01 Jul 99 - 10:35 PM

Meanwhile the fair faery of the North sensing danger flew to where her friend the Giant Mi/chea/l Mo/r, more commonly known as Big Mick lay asleep.

"Get up you big eejit, the Pooka's going to kill Bodhran the leprechaun."

Mick was a huge man, and as he awoke and realised what was happening...........

Subject: RE: An Irish Tale
From: alison
Date: 01 Jul 99 - 09:09 AM

it was that strange Irish creature the Pooka, strange combination horse and beast.

"Get off my cow you big lump!" yelled Bodhran.

As the creature turned it's huge eyes towards Bodrhan, he began to wish he hadn't said anything.

"Do you realise who I am?" it asked. "Do not trouble me little man for I am...........

Subject: RE: An Irish Tale
From: bseed(charleskratz)
Date: 01 Jul 99 - 04:08 AM

that animal mounting my cow?

Subject: RE: An Irish Tale
From: Night Owl
Date: 01 Jul 99 - 04:03 AM

..blue blazes is.....

Subject: RE: An Irish Tale
From: alison
Date: 01 Jul 99 - 02:41 AM

what the.......

Subject: RE: An Irish Tale
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 01 Jul 99 - 02:09 AM

Mighty Cuchullain, astride his war chariot pulled by his mighty stallion Black Sanglain."Hold there,Stranger," bellowed the Hound," for none shall enter this place but must pay homage to my own self. Do ye not know where ye are?" Bodhran was awe-struck at this sight. The bright sun blazed in the Heroes bold breastplate, his silver sword shone glittering." In truth, sir, I do not," stammered Bodhran," I have merely come in search of a cow that..."

"HA!" shouted a gleeful Cuchullain," A Cattle-Raid! Then ye shall ride wi' the Hound, for surely we will steal these cattle this very day, even should they belong to Forgall the Wily! Come and ride beside me, wee man. Today ye shall ride the Warrior's Way with the Son of Lugh!"

Bodhran doffed his hat and said...

Subject: RE: An Irish Tale
From: alison
Date: 01 Jul 99 - 01:35 AM

found himself in a lushious green valley filled with the most beautiful creatures he had ever seen. One of these beautiful creatures came up to him and spoke in the most seductive tones he had ever heard. "Faith and begorrah, but aren't you the finest looking faery I ever did see, but tell me fair one, where did you get that amazing accent?"
She looked up at him with her big hazel eyes and purred, "I'm from North of here, a place by the name of Be/al Feirste."

As he stood there enthralled he suddenly remembered the cow. But before he could start his search he heard a low rumbling sound behind him.Slowly he looked around and saw.......

Subject: RE: An Irish Tale
From: Cap't Bob
Date: 01 Jul 99 - 12:56 AM

... an evil looking banshee who was apparently up to no good. He'd spent the morning tormenting trolls and checking to see if all the Irish Washerwomen were cleaning their blood stained clothes at the rivers edge.

"Bodhran.....Aye you Bodrhan....what be a man like you up to with that there cow. Most likely it only gives sour milk I would say". The banshee rapped the cow three times on its head with his shillelagh. The cow turned and ran between two large stone pillars and vanished.....

"Mr. Bodhran....you run through that portal and you'll vanish just like your old worthless cow."

Bodhran did not hesitate but ran after the cow through the portal where he....

Subject: An Irish Tale
From: alison
Date: 01 Jul 99 - 12:19 AM

OK someone laid down a challenge……. so I've started it, (obviously to be read in your best Irish brogue)

Once upon a time in a beautiful faery land there lived a leprechaun by the name of Bodhran O Shea. He was a grumpy wee man, for, to be sure, no one ever pronounced his name properly.

One day Bodhran was heading to market to sell a cow, which was an odd thing to do seeing as he was a faery shoemaker. On the way who should he meet but………