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Lyr Req/Add: Lavatory Ghost / Oh Dear (B Connolly)

Sergeant Where's Mine

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GUEST,Hillfoots_loon 12 Apr 09 - 11:32 AM
Jim Dixon 13 Apr 09 - 02:40 PM
Jim Carroll 14 Apr 09 - 10:16 AM
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Subject: Lyr Req: The Lavatory Ghost
From: GUEST,Hillfoots_loon
Date: 12 Apr 09 - 11:32 AM

Hi folks,

I'm pretty new to all this, so apologies in advance for cross-posting/if I've missed this elsewhere. I've recently started on the folk singing scene and was trying to remember an old song we sang at scouts - I've done some digging and I think it might be a parody that Billy Connolly did some time ago, but can't be sure. It's to the tune of "Johnny's so long at the fair" and here's as much as I can remember, any help would be great!

My name's Shug McGlumpher
And I bide up this close,
When I was a wee lad (?) I saw a big ghost
'Cause I know he's hiding in there

Oh gee what can the matter be,
I'm feart tae go tae the lavatory
I've no been in there since 2 weeks passed Saturday
I know he's hiding in there!

Thanks for your help!

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Subject: Lyr Add: OH DEAR (Billy Connolly)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 13 Apr 09 - 02:40 PM

There's a cut called OH DEAR on Billy Connolly's album "Live!" (1972), "The Big Yin" (1976), "The Transatlantic Years" (2002), "Glasgow Accents: Stories & Songs" (2003), "Humble Beginnings" (2003), "Live in Concert" (2005), "A Life in the Day Of—" (2006), and "The Solid Gold Collection" (2008). I think they are all the same recording.

Lyrics found at a blog:

Words, Billy Connolly. Tune, traditional.

SPOKEN PROLOGUE: This song is very dear to me. It's about outside toilets in tenement buildings, you know, and I'm awful fond of them, you know. I used to trip down to the outside toilet when I was about eight years of age in my Noddy pyjamas and my bare feet, because I was a midnight wee-wee specialist. Really. Never in my life was I known to pee during the day. Never once. But soon's it get dark... Ohh... Because everybody knew the outside toilets're full of ghosts, and I was feart. A born fearty. And I used to go down the stair with two wee bits of coal to throw round corners, because you can always kill a ghost with a bit of coal, everybody knew that. And I used to stand there, doing a wee-wee, holding the door open with wan leg, kidding on I wasn't scared, going "TRA-LA-LA! LA-LA-LA-LEEE!!" Soon's I was finished, VOOOOM! Up the stair, legs just a blur, into the house, into bed, make a tent, and read the Beano with a torch. I'd like you to join in the chorus. You've probably heard the tune before.

1. My name's Shug McGlumpher and I live up this close.
I'll tell ye a story. I promise it's nae boast.
During the power cut, I saw a big ghost.
Naebody knows that he's there.

CHORUS: Oh dear, what can the matter be?
I'm scairt tae go tae the lavat'ry.
I've no been since two weeks last Saturday.
I know who's hidin' in there!

2. He'd two big red eyes. On his head was a dent, man;
Big hairy horns, and his neck was all bent, man.
My mammy says he sounds just like the rent man,
But I know who's hiding in there.

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Subject: Lyr Add: THE DUNDEE GHOST (Matt McGinn)
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 14 Apr 09 - 10:16 AM

Of course there's always the Matt McGinn masterpiece.

Jim Carroll

(Matt McGinn)

Noo a deid man seldom walks, he very rarely talks,    (dead)
It's no very often you'll see him running aroond,
But I'm a refugee from a graveyard in Dundee
And I've come tae haunt some houses in Glasgow Toon oooh, oooh, ooooh
And I've come tae haunt some hooses in Glasgow Toon.

Noo the reason I arose was to get masel' some clothes, (myself)
For I really get helluva cold below the ground,
And I whispered tae masel', "ah, I think I might as well
Hang aroond a while and ha'e some fun,
I'll hang around a while and ha'e some fun".

Noo a chap put oot his light on a cold and frosty night,
I showed him one of ma eyes and I skelped his head, (smacked)
He said "Oh", and I said "boo" he says, "who the hell are you" ?
I said, "don't be feart, I'm on'y a man that's deid,   (afraid)
Oh no, don't be feart, I'm only a man that's deid".

Well the feller knelt and prayed and this is what he said;
"Oh why, in the name of God have you picked on me"   ?
So I battered him on the lug and I pulled awa' his rug. (ear)
"The reason", I said "is just tae let you see".
"The reason" , I said, "is just tae let you see".

Well he brought the polis in and I belted him on the chin,   (police(man)
The polis turned aroond and he blamed my friend.
And he marched him aff tae jile and he'll be in there quite a while, (off to gaol)
But I'll see naebody taks his single end,      (House of one apartment, flat)
Oh, no, I'll see naebody taks his single end.

Noo the polis thought him daft and a lot of people laughed
When the feller said a ghost was in his hoose,
But what the feller said was true and I might be visiting you,
So just remember. I'm still on the loose,
Aye, just remember, I'm still on the loose.

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