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Mudcat religion

bseed(charleskratz) 28 Jul 99 - 05:50 PM
Fadac 28 Jul 99 - 05:43 PM
Rick Fielding 28 Jul 99 - 10:35 AM
Roger the zimmer 28 Jul 99 - 10:33 AM
Fadac 28 Jul 99 - 10:22 AM
bseed(charleskratz) 28 Jul 99 - 03:25 AM
katlaughing 27 Jul 99 - 09:59 PM
Fadac 15 Jul 99 - 06:47 PM
The Shambles 15 Jul 99 - 06:32 PM
The Shambles 15 Jul 99 - 04:11 PM
The Shambles 15 Jul 99 - 04:01 PM
Fadac 15 Jul 99 - 03:22 PM
The Shambles 08 Jul 99 - 01:45 PM
Bert 08 Jul 99 - 09:46 AM
alison 08 Jul 99 - 05:06 AM
The Shambles 08 Jul 99 - 03:03 AM
The Shambles 08 Jul 99 - 02:22 AM
Big Mick 08 Jul 99 - 12:57 AM
Bill D 07 Jul 99 - 09:01 PM
bseed(charleskratz) 07 Jul 99 - 08:44 PM
catspaw49 07 Jul 99 - 06:39 PM
Fadac 07 Jul 99 - 06:27 PM
katlaughing 07 Jul 99 - 05:54 PM
Fadac 07 Jul 99 - 05:27 PM
Peter T. 07 Jul 99 - 05:27 PM
Peter T. 07 Jul 99 - 05:13 PM
Max 07 Jul 99 - 04:50 PM
Alice 07 Jul 99 - 04:48 PM
bseed(charleskratz) 07 Jul 99 - 04:44 PM
Peter T. 07 Jul 99 - 04:14 PM
Bill D 07 Jul 99 - 03:50 PM
Max 07 Jul 99 - 03:36 PM
Steve Latimer 07 Jul 99 - 02:37 PM
Walrus 07 Jul 99 - 02:34 PM
Winters Wages 07 Jul 99 - 02:22 PM
Bert 07 Jul 99 - 09:23 AM
Den 07 Jul 99 - 09:16 AM
MudGuard 07 Jul 99 - 05:50 AM
bseed(charleskratz) 07 Jul 99 - 04:30 AM
katlaughing 07 Jul 99 - 12:42 AM
gargoyle 06 Jul 99 - 10:59 PM
Bill D 06 Jul 99 - 09:43 PM
bbc 06 Jul 99 - 04:12 PM
Bert 06 Jul 99 - 03:13 PM
SeanM 06 Jul 99 - 02:31 PM
The Shambles 06 Jul 99 - 02:10 PM
katlaughing 06 Jul 99 - 01:11 PM
Fadac 06 Jul 99 - 12:49 PM
Legal Eagle 06 Jul 99 - 12:29 PM
Peter T. 06 Jul 99 - 09:37 AM
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Subject: RE: Mudcat religion
From: bseed(charleskratz)
Date: 28 Jul 99 - 05:50 PM

There was a thread on a closely related subject not too long ago:

nose hair

--seed


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Subject: RE: Mudcat religion
From: Fadac
Date: 28 Jul 99 - 05:43 PM

Rick, Ahmen Brother, Ahmen.

Also thouest that cursest, shale kiss Lord Possoms bottom, and make melodious noise.

I thought that the great wailing and teeth gnashing was caused by teaching ones spouse to play the melodious nose flute.

-Fadac (tweeet, Pftttettt)


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Subject: RE: Mudcat religion
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 28 Jul 99 - 10:35 AM

Fadac, don't forget.."When male melodeonists melodize "nekked" they shall hold their squeeze box higher rather than lower to prevent great wailing and gnashing of teeth."


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Subject: RE: Mudcat religion
From: Roger the zimmer
Date: 28 Jul 99 - 10:33 AM

Yeah, and thou shouldst remove thy kazoo from thy mouth before getting involved in a barroom brawl lest it reappear out of the back of thy neck. Yeah, moreover if thou leavest thy kazoo [insert tiple, banjo, accordian, as appropriate] at home thou wilt get into fewer barroom brawls. Neither shouldst thou call Big Mick "a big girl's blouse" unless thou hast a good dental plan. Nor yet bet cash money on anyone beating Joe O to the draw in a lyric search or thine purse will be sorely emptied.


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Subject: RE: Mudcat religion
From: Fadac
Date: 28 Jul 99 - 10:22 AM

Thou shalt also, keep ones beard in short array, if one is to squeeze the big sacred accordion. Lest one close the bellows tightly and pull thy wiskers. Or elst once will also cry out with, "Ouch! Sonofabich!"

Alas Lassy type squeezers shall wear suitable protections, else they will have body parts pinched in the closing of sacred bellows. Causing "Ladys in Pain"

So mote it be...(and the band played on)

-Fadac


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Subject: RE: Mudcat religion
From: bseed(charleskratz)
Date: 28 Jul 99 - 03:25 AM

Thou shalt not leave short lengths of string sticking out from thy fifth string peg, for to do so invites the wrath of the great possum who shalt direct thy thumb to become impaled upon the offensive protrusion, causing thee to scream "Ouch! Sonofabitch!" --seed


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Subject: RE: Mudcat religion
From: katlaughing
Date: 27 Jul 99 - 09:59 PM

Another commandment evolved on the String Cleaning thread:

Thou shalt not cleanse nor re-employ thy strings of any of thy non-bodily instruments. When they are spent, they shall be cast asunder there to turn to rust and ashes.


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Subject: RE: Mudcat religion
From: Fadac
Date: 15 Jul 99 - 06:47 PM

Ahhhhh Meeeeeennnn. Possom say, don't rub sacred mud on keyboard.

-Fadac


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Subject: RE: Mudcat religion
From: The Shambles
Date: 15 Jul 99 - 06:32 PM

Fadac.

I don't think refresh was the right word for this thread..........Was it not was more of a resurrection?


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Subject: RE: Mudcat religion
From: The Shambles
Date: 15 Jul 99 - 04:11 PM

I think we may have just invented a new icon/relic...................The 'hairy' shirt.


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Subject: RE: Mudcat religion
From: The Shambles
Date: 15 Jul 99 - 04:01 PM

Bless you.


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Subject: RE: Mudcat religion
From: Fadac
Date: 15 Jul 99 - 03:22 PM

Refresh, Because someone has to. -Fadac


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Subject: RE: Mudcat religion
From: The Shambles
Date: 08 Jul 99 - 01:45 PM

Mud Oh, Mud Oh Glorious Mud.

I like it Bert, but not as much as your 'Old Time Religion' one, that was real class.


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Subject: RE: Mudcat religion
From: Bert
Date: 08 Jul 99 - 09:46 AM

Raise your voices for Hymn Number.....


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Subject: RE: Mudcat religion
From: alison
Date: 08 Jul 99 - 05:06 AM

Put me down as another helper for the fertility rites.... Being a real life midwife I am supposed to be an expert.. hahahhaha... Mick... need any help with research?????

slainte

alison


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Subject: RE: Mudcat religion
From: The Shambles
Date: 08 Jul 99 - 03:03 AM

Schisms, Schmisms,--What does it matter, as long as a boy loves his (earth)mother?

Hokey Cokey, Hokey Pokey, does it matter what we call it? Just as long as we accept that it IS what it's all about.

I speak of one who has the bruises to prove it (though they are fading over this past 30 years).

Some religion this, when even the creator (MAX) is unsure?

Come on! Lets have a little unity here.


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Subject: RE: Mudcat religion
From: The Shambles
Date: 08 Jul 99 - 02:22 AM

I would, but I fear another schism, as it would, I suspect be changed to A WOMEN.


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Subject: RE: Mudcat religion
From: Big Mick
Date: 08 Jul 99 - 12:57 AM

And surely, sez the one who had come to be known as Big Mick, this is one of the most holy of icons; that being the folk album of the 80 bucks. This because the prophet known as Mudjack presented this most holy item and asked that we prostrate ourselves before it. All did with the exception of the great one known as 'Spaw who was caressing the north end of a possum running south. And a great and curious sound was heard to be coming from the possum. And the possum also had a curious grin on his face, .......but I digress. And so the music on the album of the 80 bucks were, at first to be transcribed to Gregorian chants.............but it was deemed that they should become Seedorian chants instead.

Could someone give me an Amen

Michea/l Mo/r aka Mudcat Mick aka Big Mick


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Subject: RE: Mudcat religion
From: Bill D
Date: 07 Jul 99 - 09:01 PM

sometimes they are so deaf, you have to tell 'em twice!!!


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Subject: RE: Mudcat religion
From: bseed(charleskratz)
Date: 07 Jul 99 - 08:44 PM

Are we Mudcateers not generous to a fault? Are we not forgiving seven times seven times seven times seven times? Are we not softspoken and gentle? Yet even the most generous, the most forgiving, the most softspoken and gentle have been sometimes known to utter:

WILL YOU PLEASE TUNE THAT GOD-DAMNED BANJO?

--seed


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Subject: RE: Mudcat religion
From: catspaw49
Date: 07 Jul 99 - 06:39 PM

Leej don't seem to be gettin' too many bites on his relics. I sent him a few more like the pillowcases encrusted with the copious drool of Neil Young, direct from the Neil Young Center for the Terminally Screwed. Also now have quite a few of these as the original serves as the Altar Cloth below the tiple suspended by two condoms.

We have several condoms used not by Art, but by his Rubber Chicken; Several splinters of Rick Fielding's imploding 12 string named Pedro; One inch squares of the Holy shroud (read:flannel shirt) worn by our Saint of All Wisdom and Kindness, Sandy Paton (also included is a note from Caroline telling what he's really like); the Original insignia of "Incredible Dumbass" worn proudly by Banj before being promoted to General F****UP; the first stopwatch used by Joe Offer to time himself while researching and posting obscure bullshit; a gross of the prototype condoms produced before the latex explosion at the Mudcat Condom Factory---these are the "Big Mick" model with "WELCOME TO MUDCAT" written down the side; 3342 of Peter T.'s discarded thoughts of the day; a bag of used litter containing the Irish Ire of Katlaughing............hey, the stuff is rolling in!!!!

Please let Leej or me know what you want. And as I remember reading somewhere: Check Back Often-New Things Added Every Day.

catspaw


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Subject: RE: Mudcat religion
From: Fadac
Date: 07 Jul 99 - 06:27 PM

We shall sit, naked under our underwear, in the sacred mud. Covering all the naughty bits. There we shall rub said sacred mud into our navel. While repeating the Maxom.

---

Mudcat Goooooood.

Blow the sacred Possom.

Mudcat Goooooood.

Ohmmmmmmm

---

Repeat untill eyes cross.

Anyone blowing bubbles in the most sacred mud, will be known as a mud flatulance provoker.


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Subject: RE: Mudcat religion
From: katlaughing
Date: 07 Jul 99 - 05:54 PM

FIRST COMMANDMENT: MUD IS THICKER THAN WATER!


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Subject: RE: Mudcat religion
From: Fadac
Date: 07 Jul 99 - 05:27 PM

The meek shall inherit the earth,
The rest of us shall go to the stars.

There are no meek Mudcat'ers, only those who havn't been on stage yet.

-Fadac


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Subject: RE: Mudcat religion
From: Peter T.
Date: 07 Jul 99 - 05:27 PM

For example, I noticed back in April that you were beginning to get 50 separate threads a day from time to time. I note that by 5:15 PMMudcat Standard Time there are 60 separate threads that someone has contributed to at least once today. (I have multiply offended in one thread, I confess!) That is getting pretty busy!!
yours, Peter T.


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Subject: RE: Mudcat religion
From: Peter T.
Date: 07 Jul 99 - 05:13 PM

Max, while you are out from behind the curtain, so to speak, do you have any current idea how many of the meek the Mudcat is getting per day (or week, or whatever?). How many hits? Someone asked in an earlier thread, so I am curious.
yours, Peter T.


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Subject: RE: Mudcat religion
From: Max
Date: 07 Jul 99 - 04:50 PM

The meek shall inherit the Mudcat.


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Subject: RE: Mudcat religion
From: Alice
Date: 07 Jul 99 - 04:48 PM

.... there's No Place Like Home


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Subject: RE: Mudcat religion
From: bseed(charleskratz)
Date: 07 Jul 99 - 04:44 PM

Pupael (for are we not all in the pre-imago stage of that which we are to become?) Encyclical No. 1. There is no schism between Hokey Pokey and Hokey Cokey, nor even the ancient Irish Honkey Ponkey: they are one and the same. Some Mudcatters quibble about words, but words are merely conventions. Conventions have no substance (particularly those conducted by the Republocrats): only the dance and its music have substance. The only schism is between those moderates who believe in putting only one foot in at a time and the extremists who either withhold all body parts or thrust in both legs at the same time: even they, though they spend much time bouncing on their gluteae maximae, have a portion of the truth. For did not the holy elders Huddie Ledbetter and Woodrow Wilson Guthrie not receive the holy writ while sitting? Do not Saints Arthel Watson and David the Dawg and even Big Michael Lane often lead hymns while seated? Yea, and is it not the position assumed by most communicants in the holy ceremonies known as jams, whether slow or fast (but never elitist--those are covens of the devil's disciples, mockeries of the holiest of rituals).

I have spoken. Pupae BSEED


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Subject: RE: Mudcat religion
From: Peter T.
Date: 07 Jul 99 - 04:14 PM

I AM MAX THE GREAT AND THE TERRIBLE!!!!!
we are mudcatters, the small and the meek!


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Subject: RE: Mudcat religion
From: Bill D
Date: 07 Jul 99 - 03:50 PM

"pay NO attention to that man behind the curtain"....


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Subject: RE: Mudcat religion
From: Max
Date: 07 Jul 99 - 03:36 PM

The creator kind of likes Led Zeppelin. And here I am prolonging a thead because of it.

If Mudcat be a religion, what does that make me? I kind of feel like Job.


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Subject: RE: Mudcat religion
From: Steve Latimer
Date: 07 Jul 99 - 02:37 PM

Thou shalt sayeth no ill of Leadbelly,

Thou Shalt pause and reflect upon the writings of Woody,

Thou shalt not prolong threads about Led Zeppelin,

Thou shalt refrain form chastizing new members of the flock by uttering the words 'It's in the @#$$ing DT'

Thou shalt not utter death threats to blasphemers of St. Vladimir

Thou shalt attempt to recieve "Acoustic Workshop" on the eve past the day of the lord. Thou shalt rejoice in the static, for this is thy penance.

Thou Shalt not got through a day without blurting out an obscure lyric to unsuspecting friends, co-workers or thine won children. One might start with "I could see you making love to him, you forgot to close the garage door." From the book of St. Robert of Minnesota.


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Subject: RE: Mudcat religion
From: Walrus
Date: 07 Jul 99 - 02:34 PM

Bretherin (of all genders) of the Church of the Holy Mudcat,

As no real religion ever gets by without some form of schism, can I start the first?

Archbishop BSeed has translated the Holy writ thus:-

>Naturally, the most holy ritual is the Hokey Pokey...

In my part of London it's called the "Hokey Cokey"

Should now start a Holy War which runs for many generations and cost umpteen thousand lives before somes in "authority" decides that one letter isn't really worth a wet slap?

On second thoughts, let's just cut straight to the reconciliation.

Yours in the Cause

Walrus


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Subject: RE: Mudcat religion
From: Winters Wages
Date: 07 Jul 99 - 02:22 PM

Bless you my Catters'...but please...I have to get some work done and can't because I cannot stop laughing.. BTW in my job..I get to hear a lot of confessions. Only trouble is they are mostly lies...73's


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Subject: RE: Mudcat religion
From: Bert
Date: 07 Jul 99 - 09:23 AM

Kat, Usual modern spelling is 'Boudicca' but we learned 'Boadicea' at school. This place spells it with one 'C' Boudica
http://travesti.geophys.mcgill.ca/~olivia/BOUDICA/

Bert.


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Subject: RE: Mudcat religion
From: Den
Date: 07 Jul 99 - 09:16 AM

Can I be an alter boy....or is that alter person or alter ego. Can I be the alter ego. I still have the vestments an d I 'm sure I can get a thurabel, therable, thurible, an incense swinger thingy.


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Subject: RE: Mudcat religion
From: MudGuard
Date: 07 Jul 99 - 05:50 AM

Thou shalt not request lyrics before you have searched the database and the forum!


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Subject: RE: Mudcat religion
From: bseed(charleskratz)
Date: 07 Jul 99 - 04:30 AM

Thanks for the link, Gargoyle. Now somebody might find it and I won't have to refresh it. --seed


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Subject: RE: Mudcat religion
From: katlaughing
Date: 07 Jul 99 - 12:42 AM

Nice one, Bert!

Drink to me only with thine eyes
For the cup runneth over & the colourless balloons are all full!
Therefore, ye shall know the glass is half FULL, yet not empty
For verily I say unto you, "Tis the Gawddess made it so!"
All hail the Great and Good MotherMudder of them all, for she it is who provides nourishment of sustenance for the mind, body, but most especially the Soul, which in each of ye, houses the Common Bond* in the key of G!
So saieth the Gospel according to St. Boddeica(sp)!

*(check with your broker for lastest listings.)


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Subject: RE: Mudcat religion
From: gargoyle
Date: 06 Jul 99 - 10:59 PM

To therightous, holy, and most degenerate Mr. B.Seed.

It appears that you should put the communion wine to the side for awhile, the fumes might be addeling your brain.

Praise be and glory. Al Gore has not equipped his "information superhiway" with a breath-al-izer test or someone would be a DUI.


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Subject: RE: Mudcat religion
From: Bill D
Date: 06 Jul 99 - 09:43 PM

gee, bbc, my 17 yr. old would never come near this place...yet!..(he is changing faster than he lets on, but he does 'mostly' what the kids are doing..rock..etc. And he refuses to learn much about computers/internet beyond how to get into AOL...*sigh*


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Subject: RE: Mudcat religion
From: bbc
Date: 06 Jul 99 - 04:12 PM

Pete, kat, & Alice,

Thanks for your input on the serious side. It's fun to think I was able to pull off a little reverse-spin thread creep & let some express thoughts on a thread where they might have lurked, otherwise. David did sit down & read the thread--laughed & commented several times. Told me to never mention him again on Mudcat. David is a fun mix--much of the time, he acts older than either Duane or I, but he is a terrible tease. I keep telling him to post--that he'll fit right in. I think it's that fear that keeps him from doing it! :)

bbc


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Subject: RE: Mudcat religion
From: Bert
Date: 06 Jul 99 - 03:13 PM

Oh we'll worship with the Mudcats
With the possums and the wombats
and use tiples for our combats
and that's good enough for me.

Give me that Mudcat religion.....


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Subject: RE: Mudcat religion
From: SeanM
Date: 06 Jul 99 - 02:31 PM

Ummm...

"Thou shalt not post copywrighted lyrics without giving proper credit"

"Thou shalt not make gratuitous possum references without also mentioning Barbara, Catspaw or both"

"Thou shalt not spend 12 hours properly coding a masterwork thread post, only to accidently hit the clear entries button... not because it annoys Us, but because it would be annoying to You"

It's a start...

M


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Subject: RE: Mudcat religion
From: The Shambles
Date: 06 Jul 99 - 02:10 PM

This can't be a REAL religion anyway, there are not nearly enough "Thou Shalt Nots".


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Subject: RE: Mudcat religion
From: katlaughing
Date: 06 Jul 99 - 01:11 PM

Seen on a T-shirt: "Mean people suck; Nice people blow!"


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Subject: RE: Mudcat religion
From: Fadac
Date: 06 Jul 99 - 12:49 PM

Yeah, Through the passage of a million micro seconds, these words of wisdom come down from the greatest of all of the possom players. Tin wistle tooters, hum-a-zoo hummers, and other selected air music makers.

BLOW, don't SUCK.

Reverntly Yours

Fadac, (Ordaned in the Universal Life Church) (Your better off alive than dead.)


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Subject: RE: Mudcat religion
From: Legal Eagle
Date: 06 Jul 99 - 12:29 PM

1. Let us beware how much trouble and misery in the world has been caused by organised religion, including the allegedly respectable ones.

2. Let us beware how much trouble and misery in the world has been caused by sexual repression - often but not always involving organised religion.

3. Let us beware of copyright lawyers (me included) who will point out that the arising and first ownership and susequent ownership of copyright is always dependent on the law of the relevant jurisdiction under the laws of which enforcement is to occur.


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Subject: RE: Mudcat religion
From: Peter T.
Date: 06 Jul 99 - 09:37 AM

Err, umm -- delicately moves cardboard replica of Melvin Belli-type high-priced lawyer to front of posting -- John in Brisbane, how exactly were you intending to copyright a song with lyrics by me, and a tune that I stole from "Damn Yankees"? Just asking....
yours, Peter T.


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