Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!

Subject: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 03 May 09 - 06:59 PM

Guess What! Amos went to Belize for a little while, so his best friends over at the Mother of All BS Threads (MOAB) are hosting a little party at his house in his absence. Janie has already rigged up a beautiful hot tub there (please link it over here, Janie) and each of you all should find the perfect accoutrement we can add to his house or yard (it's the LEAST we can do!) as a way to say "thank you for being the host with the most!"

MMario, could you see if we have any auroch skirt steaks in the freezer at the original tavern? Since this is San Diego, I think we should go for something Mexican/Southwestern to start with, and have fajitas. Skirt steaks are great for that. I don't remember if you had any over-sized poultry, but that also works well.

Booze. Bert's card will work, but Amos apparently left one we can use also. We can split the purchases between them.

Liz, I hope you'll bring along your photos from your recent travels, and if you brought back any interesting souvenirs, this would be the perfect occasion for show and tell.

If Severn comes over, I suggest he avoid the hot tub.

Rapaire, no sharp objects near the pool flotation devices. Guns and knives should stay in Idaho.

Does anything else occur to anyone that we need, in order to set out on an excellent Mudcat Tavern adventure?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Janie
Date: 03 May 09 - 07:55 PM

Last one in the jacuzzi has to kiss the giant squid!

Mmario, I already have the grill heating and we also have some swordfish steaks we bought with Amos' credit card I found in a bureau drawer.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: artbrooks
Date: 03 May 09 - 08:03 PM

Salsa!! I will bring LOTS of good New Mexico salsa...red, green, smoked...hot and medium only - the mild stuff is for wimps. And a extra large bag of blue corn chips. And a few growlers from the local brew-pub. Rapper, you got any of that Moose Drool left? Anybody want I should bring some chili chocolate along?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Janie
Date: 03 May 09 - 08:04 PM

Hey, I found some yard art that I bet he'll really appreciate!

Rapaire, keep the Legion boys off of it.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Janie
Date: 03 May 09 - 08:05 PM

Chili chocolate? But of course!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 May 09 - 08:25 PM

Moose Drool? No problem! Both the beer and the original, take your pick! No, not a pick...no pointy things in the pool. Take your choice.

Can I bring my blackjack? It'll help when the Legionaires bringing the Moose Drool get rowdy.

By the way, some of them drool so don't confuse it with...oh, never mind.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: gnu
Date: 03 May 09 - 09:04 PM

Giant squid? Be da lard dyin maid, lemmie at er... I'll have ee callin Mary right no time!

Right... oo's up fer tongues n cheeks eh?

That there Amos fellah got some fancy nice spot eh? Why would ee'n'er go off outta ere anahwhay eh?

Pass that over here eh? DON'T spill it! Ooooo... ee'n'er's gonna be gosh eh?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 03 May 09 - 09:12 PM

Hey, guys! There's some guy at the front door says he has a work order to install an ice skating rink in the den. Anyone know anything about it?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 May 09 - 09:55 PM

Yesh, Stilly ordered it. It's supposed to freeze Jello for the puck curling games.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: artbrooks
Date: 03 May 09 - 10:28 PM

Huh,,,I still have my skates someplace - haven't had 'em on since I left Pennsylvania. Lemme step thru the Western Portal for a moment...yeah, here they are - is the grill hot yet?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 May 09 - 10:37 PM

Just knock out that wall if you have to....

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Tinker
Date: 03 May 09 - 10:54 PM

Just set up the icerink
with a portal to the north and I'm sure it will blend right in with the decor.....

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 04 May 09 - 12:04 AM

Whoa, wait! Look at that library! If you knock out the den wall, you might get some of this wood wet.

What else has he been hiding around here?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 04 May 09 - 12:08 AM

He has been buying some nice garden furniture in Mexico! I love the rustic pine look of that portable cantina.

Be careful when you move it away from the hot tub that you don't break any of the glassware or bottles. . .

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Ebbie
Date: 04 May 09 - 02:21 AM

Oh, fun! I'll bring along some of the new Alaska White Beer. I haven't tried it yet- so I'll bring lots of my favorite Alaskan Amber too.

It is so cool of Amos to let us do this!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Janie
Date: 04 May 09 - 05:47 AM

I found some one to play dinner music for peanuts.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: SINSULL
Date: 04 May 09 - 07:54 AM

hee hee hee
Revenge for all those mean snipes at those of us who live in colder temperatures.

Has anyone ordered a snow machine? I have a yen for skiing. If we point it at the top of the house, we can create a ski run right down to the meadow. Screw the gardens. They'll grow back.

Oh look! The basement door opens right into the Tavern. Bring in the Christmas Tree, the duck, the cats, the squid,...what else????

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: jacqui.c
Date: 04 May 09 - 08:00 AM

How about the blow up singing Santa? I'm sure Amos would appreciate that running around the house.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: SINSULL
Date: 04 May 09 - 08:13 AM

Good idea Jacqui. I'll also get the Eartha Kitt Christmas tree singing Santa Baby - I think these should all go on the roof with the creche, santa and reindeers, Frosty the Snowman bellowing "Ho Ho Ho!" and those adorable elves. Whew! hard work.

time for a break - any Egg Nog around?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: MMario
Date: 04 May 09 - 08:25 AM

Sorry I'm late. I couldn't find any aurochs skirt steak - But I've got Mastadon. Will that do?

And a half dozen dodo's all stuffed and ready to go into an earth oven. I figure we can dig it in the center of that garden over there...tyeah, the one with the roses and stuff; he ground should be easy to dig.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 May 09 - 08:26 AM

How can it be Christmas At Amos's Place without a blown-up Hillary Clinton?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: jacqui.c
Date: 04 May 09 - 08:44 AM

Good thinking Rap - go back and get yours.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 May 09 - 08:47 AM

I don't have one, but Little Hawk does. He's got blow up Hillarys, Winonas, Sarahs, and Margarets.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: artbrooks
Date: 04 May 09 - 08:50 AM

I dunno - a blow-up Paris Hilton might be more aesthetic...oh, you said blown-up. Never mind.

SRS, I like the library, but a lot of those books don't look very well-read. You might check to see if that's where he keeps the good booze - in something like this. Just don't let Rapaire in there. He might go into spasms of jealousy, and I doubt that the City of Pokateller would let him duplicate it.

Does anybody know when Amos is coming back? And please pass me another Moose Drool.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: MMario
Date: 04 May 09 - 09:11 AM

hey! If we knock a hole in the living room ceiling we could install a fireman's pole! Amos would probably like that, wouldn't he?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: artbrooks
Date: 04 May 09 - 09:21 AM

Like this? Sounds good.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: SINSULL
Date: 04 May 09 - 09:43 AM

Didn't Cletus and Paw have some sort of adventure with blow up Mary dolls and rockets????? I suspect the local fire department would prefer we not shoot flaming Paris Hiltons into the surrounding hills - too bad.

That Mastodon steak might be nice marinated and stuck on sticks. Maybe some mushrooms, carrots and summer squash. I'll cut up the veggies (humming: I beg your pardon, I never promised you a rose garden).

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: SINSULL
Date: 04 May 09 - 10:42 AM

I checked out the bathrooms. Too big to allow for any adventures in there. Liz will be disappointed...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Severn
Date: 04 May 09 - 10:44 AM

Belize? I've figured Amos would have headed for the Andes for a reunion. 'Splain it to me, Kingfish! Anyway. Amos in the right direction, and we'll find the place....


Does an Eartha Kitt come pre-assembled, require batteries or come with an optional Catwoman costume?


I guess it follows that if the Winter Tavern always came with a beach, the San Diego version should come with an ice rink. Gnu will either manage to show us how to curl, or manage to straighten us out, maybe both.....

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 04 May 09 - 10:49 AM

I came down here for the mild San Diego spring, so please keep christmas and the snow over on the north side of the house and yard. I'll set up the grill over here and hang out with my shady hat and a cool drink. The patio has nice view of the beach.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Ebbie
Date: 04 May 09 - 10:52 AM

Has anyone noticed the guesthouse out back? Big enough for concerts, if a wall or two is taken out. Any carpenters here? (We can always put them back, if Amos isn't as charmed as I foresee.)

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: SINSULL
Date: 04 May 09 - 11:12 AM

I have always wanted to knock down a wall with a sledgehammer. Let me do it! PLEEEAASE????

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Tinker
Date: 04 May 09 - 11:20 AM

Ah Mary we could make a fine demolition team, you and I.....hehehe

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 04 May 09 - 11:20 AM

It looks like one of those open concept high ceiling Japanese guest houses--I think you could take out a wall in here with a flyswatter, SINS.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Tinker
Date: 04 May 09 - 11:32 AM

I don't know... perhaps if we take out the back wall of this guesthouse

and the front wall of the one behind it.....


Or we could just open up the front wall and use the pool as audience seating with float chairs.

Perhaps the squid would take on wait staff duties? Margurita please...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 04 May 09 - 12:07 PM

I wonder if the mosquitoes are biting in Belize? It's very nice here in Amos' back yard.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: ClaireBear
Date: 04 May 09 - 12:10 PM

Hello everybody. Funny, As I was hiking up the path from the beach, I passed Little Hawk carrying a blow-up William Shatner. Oddest thing...

Anyway, good day, all. I brought some glassware for the bar -- sure hope Amos likes it. Can I have a gin and Bitter Lemon please? Yes, with Bombay Sapphire -- that makes a lovely drink. Thanks!

Ahhhhh ... Schweppervescence.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: SINSULL
Date: 04 May 09 - 12:34 PM

Very tasteful, Claire. I'll be right back...



WHAMMMMM!!!!
WHAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!
CRACK!!
CRAAAAACKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!
WARUMPH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



help......

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Severn
Date: 04 May 09 - 12:40 PM

Unfortunately, The Crispy Critter will have to be a shady character for the most part. Washing down a pain pill from time to time, only if absolutely nescessary, but still here sitting down and not part of any rescue missions or whaling crews this time out. Of course, I'm usually trying to avoid getting exposed anyway.

Still, I wouldn't miss the Tavern for all the steak in Salisbury.

A Tangerine-Lime diet Hanson's soda, please.....






If it's gotta be Xmas, then Tannenbaums away! (Charlie Baum's also away, but I think he's coming back). I thought you'd said excemas,and had thought that a little rash.....

Bombs over Gilead!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: ClaireBear
Date: 04 May 09 - 12:44 PM

Mary? You OK? Here, let me give you a hand with that beam. Ooof! Heavy sucker, innit?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 04 May 09 - 12:55 PM

Has anyone explained the concept of "bearing wall" to the POEM (Professional Organization of English Majors) deconstruction crew? That had to hurt. . .

Nice glasses, ClaireBear. They'll go well with his Golden Globes collection.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: ClaireBear
Date: 04 May 09 - 12:57 PM

Thanks, Stilly. Howdja know I was an English major?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 04 May 09 - 12:58 PM

I can't find the key to A's liquor cabinet, so I have planted 2 ounces of C4 on the lock. Everybody out of the den! 5...4...3..

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Severn
Date: 04 May 09 - 01:06 PM

SINSULL's been off the wall for so long I'm not sure she should've tried to be "hands on".

And after we'd hunted up an old LP of Vince Martin & Fred Neil singing "Tear Down The Walls" to inspire her.....

I hope she's OK.....

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 May 09 - 01:10 PM

Aw, C-4. What memories that brings back. Just the smell brings tears of rememberance to my eyes.

Well, you know, if the bathrooms are too big we can smallify them. Or better, let's make Amos a new one out in the yard. Earth composting and all that. If you can't find a shovel I have more C-4.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 04 May 09 - 01:15 PM

Have those guys finished with the icerink yet? There's a truck outside with a dozen penguins and they look a bit overheated.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: frogprince
Date: 04 May 09 - 01:24 PM

Better take them to the zoo for now; if the rink isn't done by then, someone can take them to an air conditioned movie theater after that.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: MMario
Date: 04 May 09 - 01:34 PM

In "Mr. Popper's Penguins" they just flooded the basement and left the fridge door open with it turned all the way up.....

Why don't we do that? With those new solar panels it won't cost Amos anything....

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: ClaireBear
Date: 04 May 09 - 01:36 PM

Wait -- do those penguins dance, by any chance? If so, there might have been a small misapprehension when we placed the order for the pole dancers to go with that firepole.

Pity, they're such good chorus singers I'd hate to have to send them back...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: SINSULL
Date: 04 May 09 - 02:00 PM

my head hurts


and I am surrounded by teeny tiny nuns

OH GOD. Get me out of here!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Severn
Date: 04 May 09 - 02:33 PM

SINSULL,

Nun isn't better than some at all?

Are you sure those black and white things aren't penguins?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 04 May 09 - 02:34 PM

If we want to keep them cool, wouldn't it be easier to just sedate the penguins and pluck them? We should be done in a half hour, then we could use the penguin feathers to make some really groovy polar futons.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Severn
Date: 04 May 09 - 02:41 PM

SINSULL,

If you have nun problems, shouldn't you be going to Dear Abbey?

And will God heed a plea to save you from nuns, brides of Hey Soos?

Nuns are usually a tough order, anyway.....

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: MMario
Date: 04 May 09 - 02:43 PM

Nuns are the Brides of Zeus?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: ClaireBear
Date: 04 May 09 - 02:46 PM

Those nuns of yours are a thirsty lot. They've finished the Alaska White and are starting in on the amber. And they're joining in on the chorus with that squirrel you hired. Listen:

(Faint sound of "no, nay, never...")

One of 'em's heading for the firepole...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: artbrooks
Date: 04 May 09 - 02:53 PM

...Don't want nun, can't get nun...

The North Portal is open, next to the bidet in the fourth upstairs bathroom. Want I should bringing in some polar bears to take care of the extra penguins? And are those real flamingos out on the front lawn or plastic ones?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: SINSULL
Date: 04 May 09 - 03:02 PM

I've fallen an I can't get up. Someone get me out of here. Those nuns stink! Don't they bathe in the convent? I thought cleanliness was next to godliness?

If I am stuck here for the duration, could someone please pass me a large JD on the rocks and a couple of aspirin. I think I have a concussion.


mumble mumble Liz is better at this than me.

Did anyone remember to bring the magic wand from the tavern? Amos may be expecting us to put this all back together. At least you could use it to get me from under the guest house (or what's left of it)

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 04 May 09 - 03:06 PM

Art, Art, Art, you know those creatures are polar opposites! You'll create another Big Bang if you bring them together in the Mudcat Time Continuum. Geez, didn't they teach you ANYTHING in school? Amos' rinky dink rink won't be big enough for them anyway. And they'd just eat the seal that hangs out with his kayak. He likes that seal. Or sea lion. Whatever.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 04 May 09 - 03:07 PM

SINS, use the christmas tree winch to pull that house back up.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 04 May 09 - 03:07 PM

(It'll Raise High the Roof Beams. . . )

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Severn
Date: 04 May 09 - 03:11 PM

Is that black and white lady in the bathroom so long some kind of nuncomepoop?

More animals to get rid of more animals? It's beginning to get a little bit like The Old Lady Who Swallowed A Fly.....

But you can tell that they're really Poler Bears because they're heading for that new pole. We may have to get some more poles out of the pole vault, at this rate. Claire, do you speak their language?

If you crossed a penguin with a white bear, would the offspring have a bi-polar disorder?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: MMario
Date: 04 May 09 - 03:13 PM

That's why Polar bears and penguins **are** at sepeate ends of the earth - Mother Nature's way of preventing bi-polar populations.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 04 May 09 - 03:22 PM

This is a good lesson: Always consider the possible results before plucking!
I honestly had no idea how much these penguins depended on their feathers for insulation. Look at the poor little naked blighters. It's eighty two degrees out here and they're shivering and covered with goose...I mean penguin bumps. Ok, the only thing to do is to get their blood pumping...here, I'll march them down to the end of the block and back. Somebody run up to Target and get about 32 terrycloth robes, extra small.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: artbrooks
Date: 04 May 09 - 03:26 PM

Don't yuns guys know nuthin'? With global warming, it won't be cold enough for them at either pole, so they have to meet somewhere in the middle!   San Diego seems like a reasonable compromise.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 May 09 - 03:28 PM

I decided to make Amos a six-holer. It'll be nice and deep, assuming the charges don't cut water, sewer, gas, electric or other kinds of lines. Anyway...

FIRE IN THE HOLE!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: artbrooks
Date: 04 May 09 - 03:31 PM

Uh oh...do they have oil under southern California, or was that a pipeline?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 04 May 09 - 03:36 PM

Think you used enough dynamite there, Butch?

Looks like you've managed to create a new tributary to the Intercoastal Waterway. Runs right through Amos's living room.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: SINSULL
Date: 04 May 09 - 03:37 PM

And with a giant heave, the guest house flies into the neighbor's yard - 1/2 mile away.

I think I need a doctor - either I am seeing little tiny pink elephants or a chorus line of naked nuns. Maybe I will jsut stay here for a while...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Severn
Date: 04 May 09 - 03:38 PM

Seals Of Approval?

Christmas Seals?

I thought that red kayak was Omar's, the "ruby yacht" he's always talking about......

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 04 May 09 - 03:41 PM

No, Severn, that's Amos's couch, last seen floating out into the Pacific with the tide and being piloted by several naked, stunned penguins.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Severn
Date: 04 May 09 - 03:46 PM

SINSULL,

How can you tell they're nuns, if they're naked?

They might've kicked the habit, but can you be sure?

Do you really think you can tell them by sense of smell?....That's a bunch of Nunscents!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: MMario
Date: 04 May 09 - 03:47 PM

Sins has "Nun-dar"

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: ClaireBear
Date: 04 May 09 - 03:48 PM

Heard muttering, in Penguinese of course, "Exeunt, pursued by a bear."

And sure enough, there go the polar bears. Phew! That was close! No, I most definitely do NOT speak their language!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Severn
Date: 04 May 09 - 04:02 PM

Be careful, SINSULL!

They LOOK peaceful enough, but they may be the type who practice Nun-Violence. So if you see one with a ruler, mind your wrists.....


Could they have shed their clothes to remain anunnymous?



They either ARE nuns or AREN'T. You can't habit both ways. But those near-sighted polar bears find them just as tasty as penguins.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: ClaireBear
Date: 04 May 09 - 04:07 PM

I think they overheard Sins' comment about their didtinctive odour and decided it was time to get shed of their nasty habit.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 04 May 09 - 04:14 PM

Its about time for them to stop and smell the rosaries.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 May 09 - 04:21 PM

125 Kg. of C-4 per hole SHOULD have created a really nice six-holer, not this great big huge deep single hole. Let's see...okay, that one checks out...and so does that calcula...AHA!

Ye olde misplaced decimal point!

Well, three places to the left, three to right, what's a teensy little error like that between friends, hmm?

Besides, everybody needs a hole the size of a city block, right?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Tinker
Date: 04 May 09 - 04:54 PM

Listen from the bar, is that Sr. Josephine I hear....
hopefully the police will stay far away from this scene. I'm afraid all that C4 will start terrorist speculation....

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 04 May 09 - 05:13 PM

Good point. The term "c4" has probably already triggered an investigation of this site by the FBI.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 May 09 - 05:17 PM

We could all use a little C-5A instead. Amos has a stash somewhere.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 04 May 09 - 05:35 PM

You need to fill that whole hole with something or someone will fall into it.

Jello, anyone? The largest jello pit in the world, it will even show up on Google Earth (standing in for it is Google Maps, since you may not all have G.E. installed).

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: ClaireBear
Date: 04 May 09 - 05:51 PM

Maybe instead of Jell-O we should use first-aid gel, so Severn would have a comfy place to sit and spin his own peculiar brand of punditry.

I'm sure Amos won't mind the giant hole in support of such a worthy cause.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 04 May 09 - 05:59 PM

Could someone please reconstruct the back wall to the ladies rest room? It's a tad chilly on the nethers...

Oh, and happy Star Wars Day...





































May the Fourth be with you!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: SINSULL
Date: 04 May 09 - 06:16 PM

I definitely have a concussion. I am hallucinating excruciatingly bad puns and a meteor crater. That green goo is just like the scene out of War of the Worlds.
Don't go in there!
Don't go in there!
AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Tinker
Date: 04 May 09 - 06:38 PM

And the sign says...

Bipolar Disability
Can't Work Due To Bipolar Disorder? Qualify For Disability Income!
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Do computer programs diagnose manic behavior now??

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 04 May 09 - 06:39 PM

This is playing on Amos' computer that is set to loop through a long playlist at YouTube. I think he's been practicing for something. . .

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: ClaireBear
Date: 04 May 09 - 06:41 PM

Mine says "See Bobby Flay Live" -- and I think, see Bobby flay live WHAT? Penguins? Polar bears? Nuns? Giant squid? Severn?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Janie
Date: 04 May 09 - 07:05 PM

Ernie, I see you came decked out as a Cardinals fan.

But what's with the blindfold?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 May 09 - 08:15 PM

Firing squad. Firing squads always use blindfolds. Generally on the shootee, but with the Legion it's up for grabs. Nothing like a blindfolded firing squad to enliven things.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 04 May 09 - 08:19 PM

Damn I can't believe that photo got on the net. It was taken at a celebration of Louisville winning the NCAA. A premature celebration, you might say. You cant tell from the photo, but those were ass-less slacks.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 04 May 09 - 08:25 PM

And that's not a blindfold. It's a soft infra-red goggle that allows me to see through women's clothing in the dark. It also contains solar photo-filaments which absorb sunlight all day for the purpose of charging up the jacket, yielding a more dazzling impact at night.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Janie
Date: 04 May 09 - 08:28 PM

LOL!

Did you find any good bourbon after you blew that lock?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Janie
Date: 04 May 09 - 08:37 PM

Meanwhile, back in Idaho, one brave Legionaire stayed behind.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Janie
Date: 04 May 09 - 08:44 PM

I'm gonna go around to the snow side of the house and party with the polar bears.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Janie
Date: 04 May 09 - 08:45 PM

Somebody better bring me a bourbon and water to get me mellowed out a bit.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 04 May 09 - 08:46 PM

Hey, guys? Remember the penguins? The ones Leej relieved of their feathers? Well, they weren't just any penguins. They were the Pittsburg Penguins. All they wanted was a few Labatt's 'cause they're still smarting from losing that Stanley Cup thingee, and some folkie goes and plucks their feathers. Well, they're a bit upset. They say that as soon as those guys are finished installing the rink in the den, and as soon as someone can figure out how to get the Zamboni through the front door, they're challenging the whole Mudcat crew to a hockey game.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: SINSULL
Date: 04 May 09 - 09:05 PM

Naked nuns on ice. Great!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Severn
Date: 04 May 09 - 09:12 PM

Actually, Bobby flayed fish. Probably Sole...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: frogprince
Date: 04 May 09 - 09:20 PM

As long as we're in San Diego, do y' spose we can open a direct door to get to Black's Beach? I've always wanted to check out Black's Beach.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 May 09 - 09:33 PM

Bobby flayed fish, Maisie cooked weiners, Amos was gone and neener neener, in them old, cotton fields back home....

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Janie
Date: 04 May 09 - 09:34 PM

In celebration of the 100th post, let me show my best figure skating moves. .







OK, now we're ready to take out the front wall to let the zamboni in.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 May 09 - 09:35 PM

Hey, I've just invited all of the guys 'n' gals at the US Marine Corps Recruiting Depot over the Amos' place.

They accepted.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Janie
Date: 04 May 09 - 09:42 PM

Here you go, Frogprince. There is a gate right back here, hidden behind an arbor. Step right on through, and....

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Don Firth
Date: 04 May 09 - 10:07 PM

What's this button for?

Uh-oh. . . .

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 May 09 - 10:26 PM

Dang, jDon, but that's one massive drink!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: frogprince
Date: 04 May 09 - 10:31 PM

Damn, Don; I hope that wasn't Black's Beach you just blew up!!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Janie
Date: 04 May 09 - 10:33 PM

Meanwhile, right off the coast of Belize,

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Janie
Date: 04 May 09 - 10:34 PM

Not to worry. Thanks to Rapaire, the Marines are on the way.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Janie
Date: 04 May 09 - 10:38 PM

Hey Stilly, do you think he'll like the 24 place settings of Vietri we got him?



Hope it didn't max out his credit card. We're gonna need more food and booze.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Janie
Date: 04 May 09 - 10:45 PM

Hmmm, Sins?

It might be bet if you don't check out the view from the upstairs portico.




Hey Squid, where's that bourbon and water?!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: frogprince
Date: 04 May 09 - 10:57 PM

omigawd, there's some more of 'em

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Janie
Date: 04 May 09 - 11:30 PM

UH-oh. YOu don't suppose when Don pushed that button it cause a power surge to LEJ's suit? That glint of silver on the left margin surely wasn't a harmonica. Was it?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 05 May 09 - 12:29 AM

Janie, that Google Earth really brings things in close! Who knew Amos took his brown swimming trunks on this trip?

Frogprince, I found a more bizarre photo of that beach, but if it's want you want, here is Black's Beach, apparently. I can't quite read the language all over the runners. Anyway, here are a bunch more. Maybe we won't be seeing you back at the party for a while?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 05 May 09 - 05:59 AM

All those low comments about how nice the weather was while we were freezing needs to be redressed.

What if we do this to his house?

To some place like this.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 05 May 09 - 06:54 AM

Zamboni? Isn't that that fancy pudding with eggnog and chocolate bits in?

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: SINSULL
Date: 05 May 09 - 08:02 AM

Ms. Tam,
I wish you had thought of that before the guest house came down and the A bomb blew up. Maybe we can salvage some of this...but the naked nuns look a bit well done. We're gonna be in trouble with either the pope or animal control.


But now we have a bar-b-que pit big enough for the entire T-Rex. Bring on that vat of sauce, MMMMMArio.

Janie, if I wore an aluminum hat and complained about aliens scanning my brain would you send me pictures of Men In Black? Sadist!

By the way, did you intend that set of china for target practice? Rapaire and the hockey players are setting up skeet shooting with the plates.

This sunroom is really restful. A few singing dancing chickens and an inflatable moose - perfect.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Roger the Skiffler
Date: 05 May 09 - 08:17 AM

Hey, I've got a tanker load of pre-owned Jello here. For this week only, it comes with a free mud wrestling ring. Where do you want it?


Rts

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 May 09 - 08:36 AM

Just put it in the parlor. Amos won't mind.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: SINSULL
Date: 05 May 09 - 08:52 AM

I thought we had a Jell-O pit set up in the back yard? May 4 4:21PM. The six holer outhouse project went bad and now there is a huge Jell-O pit. Dump the stuff in there Roger - but this time be sure it's green Jell-O and not something found in the bedpans. We want a Jell-O pit not a kitty litter.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: MMario
Date: 05 May 09 - 09:04 AM

Put it in the pool. The crater is about to be filled with a RexBrontoStegadodo. (T-rex, stuffed with a brontosourus filet, which is wrapped around a bakers dozen of stegosourus cutlets, each cradleing a dodo, the dodo stuffed with a delicate forcemeat of celery, onion, panko bread crumps and lark tongues.)

Do you think that will be enough or should I add the 2 lbs of rabbit I have in the fridge?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 May 09 - 09:07 AM

Hide the rabbit somewhere so Amos can enjoy it when he gets home.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: SINSULL
Date: 05 May 09 - 09:32 AM

Behind the washer dryer sounds about right. He'll find it.

I don't know MMario - don't you think you are overdoing it with the lark's tongues? They will add a bitter note and some unnecessary crunch.

Fresh baked bread and a sald and we are all set.

Meantime, it looks like Amos might be headed home:

Make another link

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: SINSULL
Date: 05 May 09 - 09:33 AM

can't get the link to work - Amos in convertible with top down tailing an open bed truck carrying port-a-potties as it approaches a too low overpass.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 05 May 09 - 09:44 AM

Looks like the ice rink is ready for the Penguins vs Mudcat grudge match. Rapaire, you still got some of that C4 you can mold into something that looks more or less like a hockey puck?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Janie
Date: 05 May 09 - 09:50 AM

I don't do hockey. Think I'll head to the boutique with the credit card.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: frogprince
Date: 05 May 09 - 10:06 AM

Well Janie, the only thing I've seen like that one picture was at an inland resort where they had a 5k run/walk on a holiday weekend morning. My wife and I settled for the strolling version. The "optional" beaches we've had a chance to visit have been quieter and never anything like crowded at the time. We're more inclined to just lean back with a book, and wade in to cool off a little if the place is safe for that. We should be back by the time the pit-baked critters are ready to eat.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: SINSULL
Date: 05 May 09 - 10:15 AM

That race looks like it hurts.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 05 May 09 - 10:25 AM

But Janie, you don't have to do hockey. In fact, nobody has to do hockey because the Giant Squid has volunteered to play all six positions for the Mudcat team. (He's going to keep his other tentacles tied behind his back until they're needed as substitutes.)

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Ebbie
Date: 05 May 09 - 10:33 AM

The First One


Where shall I tell them to unload him? (Careful. He's crabby.)

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Ebbie
Date: 05 May 09 - 10:35 AM

See?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: SINSULL
Date: 05 May 09 - 11:07 AM

Oh damn!
Well luckily MMario decided against the lark's tongues so there is room in the bar-b-que pit. Meantime bring Bullwinkle into the sunroom. He'll like the view.

Did he come with a shovel and a can of disinfectant? He's making an awful mess on that carpet. Oriental and priceless, isn't it? No, not the moose, the carpet!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: MMario
Date: 05 May 09 - 11:10 AM

I was afraid the lark's tongues would make the dish just a little meat heavy, you know? Overpower the celery.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 05 May 09 - 11:36 AM

Well, great party! You say Amos is on the way home? Unfortunately, I won't be able to stay and see him, as much as I'd like to. Love to help with the clean up, but I understand Schwarzenegger has declared the area a disaster zone, so I'm sure the National Guard, the EPA, and the Corps of Engineers can get it taken care of.
Tata, then!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: MMario
Date: 05 May 09 - 11:39 AM

The EPA, The National Guard AND the Corps of Engenieers?

I *KNEW* I should have cooked the rabbit. Hope we have enough food.

I better get another head of lettuce for the salad, too!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 05 May 09 - 11:42 AM

Yeah, the Corps of Engineers are famous for their dam appetites.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: SINSULL
Date: 05 May 09 - 12:09 PM

I'll start scooping Jell-O from the pit into dessert cups. We can pick out the worst of the feathers and scales. Maybe Bullwinkle can't saty in the sun room. Who here knows how to dress a moose? Is Sarah Palin in the house?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 05 May 09 - 12:22 PM

The best way to dress a moose is in a tuxedo with a silk tophat.

If it was good enough for Fred Astaire, it's good enough for a moose.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 05 May 09 - 12:26 PM

Hey Rock, watch me pull a rabbit out of my top hat!

ROOOOWWWRRRRR!!!!

Oops! Wrong hat!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: MMario
Date: 05 May 09 - 12:26 PM

Tim Gunn reccomends vertical stripes when dressing a moose, to minimize the spreading effect of the antlers.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 May 09 - 12:41 PM

"There is no problem so large or so complicated that it cannot be solved by the correct calculation and placement of high explosives."
                      --sign in my old Computer Room

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: MMario
Date: 05 May 09 - 12:46 PM

Saint Vidicon of Cathode, preserve Us!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 May 09 - 12:53 PM

Anode any trouble....

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 05 May 09 - 01:03 PM

I'm allergic to lark tongues. Spicy little suckers.

I got a friend with a shack full of paint ball equipment. Shall I give him a ring?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 May 09 - 01:04 PM

YEAH! We can work it into the hockey game.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Ebbie
Date: 05 May 09 - 01:07 PM

As parties go, this is a gooder one than most. Bless Amos and his HUGE heart.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 05 May 09 - 01:13 PM

OK then! Paintball stuff now arranged and should arrive really early tomorrow morning. Some of the paint balls are uhhmm a bit dry, just aim them at vases, pictures and window panes. Don't want anyone to get hurt.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Bill D
Date: 05 May 09 - 01:16 PM

Here I am...getting to the party late after being "out in the woods" all weekend. But, hey...looks like I wasn't missed in all the chaos ummm...frivolity. I'll just fill my glass with all the odds & ends of stuff from all the mostly empty bottles laying around, and I'm sure I'll be ready for the jello pit and some... ahhhh..BBQ? soon.

   Wait...lemme look around.... are you SURE this is Amos' place? A lot of these houses look similar out here in sunny California....imagine if it was the neighbors'.....


I'll just go look it up with my secret stash of addresses. Be back in awhile.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Janie
Date: 05 May 09 - 01:16 PM

If it is a lady moose, follow the expert advice of Sarah Palin

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Tinker
Date: 05 May 09 - 01:20 PM

This is an amazingly active, yet musically quiet party.... Perhaps we should make sure the hockey players can hear the performers while they play with Half-a dozen speakers around the rink.

A few rousing work songs I'm sure the neighbors won't mind....

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: SINSULL
Date: 05 May 09 - 01:36 PM

I'll start

Heigh Ho
Heigh Ho
It's off to work we go
From nine to three
It's misery
Heigh Ho
Heigh Ho Heigh Ho Heigh MMMMMFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!

Not nice boys. Hockey puck right in the mouth. Where are those paint ball guns? I may not know how to dress a moose but aftet six years in Maine I can shoot the bongoes off a bee at thirty yards.

Hey Pierre! Look what the old lady has. BOOOOOOMMM!!!!



uhoh Rap has been at the balls. Just blew up a goalie.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Janie
Date: 05 May 09 - 01:43 PM

On the 4th day of his vacation, Amos takes in the view from the cabana.

"Ahhh....life is very, very good."

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 May 09 - 01:44 PM

Hey, that's ice cream! Just ice cream!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Bill D
Date: 05 May 09 - 01:44 PM

Ok, those of you who arrived early... is this the house we are partying in?... it's...ummm.. hard to tell after some of the 'alterations'.

Be very careful of that little shrub in the yard.....


(no, I am NOT gonna post the address ... if word gets around, we might have all them sailors from the Navy base in the harbor up here.)

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: MMario
Date: 05 May 09 - 01:45 PM

NINE to THREE?

What kiind of elitist administrative slack-off hoity toity types wrote THOSE lyics?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 May 09 - 01:53 PM

Arise, you prisoners of starvation
Arise, you wretched of the earth
For justice thunders condemnation
A better world's in birth.
No more tradition's chains shall bind us.
Arise you slaves, no more in thrall!
The earth shall rise on new foundations.
We have been naught, we shall be all.
T'is the final conflict
Let each stand in his place.
The international working class
Shall be the human race.
The international working class
Shall be the human race.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Janie
Date: 05 May 09 - 01:54 PM

Hope Amos recognizes it when he gets home.

Did I miss the start of the hockey match? What inning are we in?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: SINSULL
Date: 05 May 09 - 02:10 PM

Da mpucg 's snuck eteen mny vront eeth


Aside to MMario - it was originally Heigh ho Heigh ho it's off to school I go.


I blew up their goalie. Game over.


Janie - Barracuda blocked that last picture. Am I going to get fired for surfing the net looking for porno?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Don Firth
Date: 05 May 09 - 02:34 PM

Sorry about pushing that button. Here, let me clean up the mess.

This is going to be a bear of a job!

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: ClaireBear
Date: 05 May 09 - 02:39 PM

I do't know why you're having trouble recognizing the place. I don't think it looks that different!

Nice touch with the elephant suits. They look so real, it's hard to believe they're really just polar bears.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: SINSULL
Date: 05 May 09 - 02:53 PM

The volcano is a nice touch. Don - leave it. It looks great.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 05 May 09 - 03:20 PM

Bill D, you're trying to scare people. We know this is the right house--he uses Mudcat as his homepage, and just look at his computer, it's a MAC, ferchrissake! How many zealots who have Mudcat cookies use Macs down here? Oh--I meant to ask--how was all of that beer? Stale, I bet. See if Rapaire has any more cold Moose Drool (the bottled variety, Rap, not the really fresh stuff).

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: SINSULL
Date: 05 May 09 - 03:26 PM

Besides - he left his guitar and hat in the study - or what used to be the study...and used to be a guitar...actually we have no proof whose house this is. I wonder if anyone remembered to bring the wand from the tavern.

Meantime WATCH IT FRENCHIE! I see you behind the tree with your stick.


That is a stick, isn't it?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 May 09 - 03:53 PM

We can just leave it. Amos likes to putter about the house, fixing things and working in the yard and all.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: MMario
Date: 05 May 09 - 03:59 PM

Take food and booze with you when you leave, though. I'm sure Amos would want us to do so. He's generous.

And we wouldn't want to attract ants (or worse) if he's late getting home.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 05 May 09 - 04:01 PM

If he's smart he'll stay tied to his kayak once he gets home, so if he falls into any of these liquid-filled holes he can haul himself out into the boat. Maybe we'd better leave a few ropes tied to heavy furniture or beams and draped over the edge in a few spots, like they do in some places with flash floods and winter ice, where people need to rescue themselves.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: MMario
Date: 05 May 09 - 04:03 PM

It's too bad we didn't think to document this on video. "Extreme Makeover - Mudcat Division" ; we could make a mint on downloads....

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: GUEST,Slops Ragout
Date: 05 May 09 - 04:15 PM

So this is where he lives, huh? I knew him back when I waa his oiler on the "Firkin Maid", sailing out of Fiji under Panamanian Registry. Leastwise Amos said it was Panamanian Registry. I don't know myself. Yeah, I was the oiler. And the cook, when I wasn't oilin them shafts. I remember one night in Papeetee I think it was, Amos was oilin his shaft when the girls daddy came home. But enough of that. I brought him a present from my last trip. Not the cabin boy, nossir, but sosme of that bakolo and kava stuff he used to like so much.

You don't think he'll mind me sittin here on his settee for a bit do you? My clothes are kinda oily and dirty, but hell, old Amos won't care.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Charley Noble
Date: 05 May 09 - 04:15 PM

This is very exciting. I can't wait to see how the house implodes!

And Amos was thinking that his safe house could never be tracked down.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble, from an undisclosed location

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 05 May 09 - 04:31 PM

Rolling into back yard with my paintball tank as the van full of paintball equipment rolls up into driveway.

Hiring a human target is quite expensive. Do we have any volunteers?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: SINSULL
Date: 05 May 09 - 04:38 PM

Got one for you, Tam. That Frenchie isn't a hockey player. He's a Morris Dancer. Oh good lord there's a whole side! No 2. No oh crap at least a dozen.

The tintinnabulation of the bells bells bells AARGHHHHH

Shoot, woman shoot!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 05 May 09 - 05:21 PM

No not the Morris dancers. They are endangered species. and it still isn't known how the all male sides propagate.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 May 09 - 05:28 PM

Asexually, like amoebas. Or amoebic dysentery.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: GUEST,Gluon The Cosmic Duck-Dog
Date: 05 May 09 - 05:30 PM

QUARK!!!


(Translation: You guys will never get this mess cleaned up. I, however, can fix it for ya... for a price. It's a simple matter of folding the space-time continuum in such a way that the existence of this party is hidden from view in your three dimensional universe. I can do it easily, uing my trusty ACME Space-Time Continuum Steam Iron and a can of Niagara Space-Time Continuum Spray Starch. You, on the other hand, didn't even know such things existed, did ya? Like I said, I'll do it for a price. And bring that goalie over here. I wanna hump his leg.)

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 05 May 09 - 05:48 PM

The giant squid has been very quiet--did he forget to stop playing hockey?

No, wait, darn it, someone turned the room temp down too low in the rink, he's stuck to the surface. DON'T SCRAPE HIM UP OR HE'LL LOOSE SUCKERS!!! Thaw him slowly so it won't hurt, please.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: gnu
Date: 05 May 09 - 06:05 PM

Calla Marie... she'll know what to do... Olyve Oil?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: artbrooks
Date: 05 May 09 - 06:32 PM

Paintball target volunteer? I really think that the ineffable MAX needs to get in on the blame fun. UH-OH...he heard that and took the site down....

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Ebbie
Date: 05 May 09 - 06:49 PM

"(no, I am NOT gonna post the address ... if word gets around, we might have all them sailors from the Navy base in the harbor up here.)" Bill D

Post it, Bill! San Diegans love their sailors.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 May 09 - 06:52 PM

Yeah! And with the Marines here too they'll get along like, oh, gasoline vapors and a match.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Ebbie
Date: 05 May 09 - 07:16 PM

Well, she says dubiously, if you're sure you can control them. If you need help, just ask. Lots of muscle, not to mention music, in this place.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 May 09 - 07:49 PM

Not many brains, but lots of muscle and music. Sort of like the rowers on a trireme going into battle.

But I was thinking...we need something to roast marshmallows and stuff over. Does anyone besides myself understand...napalm??

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: ClaireBear
Date: 05 May 09 - 07:58 PM

The volcano isn't roasty enough for you, Rap? Must be one helluva big marshmallow...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: artbrooks
Date: 05 May 09 - 08:01 PM

Gasoline and soap flakes, cooked over a low fire? How about a few fougasses to barby the bronto?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: SINSULL
Date: 05 May 09 - 08:16 PM

Humming "All the nice girls love a sailor. All the nice girls love a tar..."

SINS carefully warms some salted water to melt the ice around the squid. SEVERN! Get away from that burner. We will have NO theatrics here.


WArm water in a watering can, add the spray attachment and, being sure to coat every damn bell with salt water, she heads for the ice rink. A little spray here and a little spray there and voila! though a strange shade of blue, the squid is free.

Meantime the rusty bells quiet down and the Morris Dancers make do with some single malt and ale. Apparently that careless remark about propagation has them all confused.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 May 09 - 08:16 PM

Oh, goody! I've always been partial to fougasse and willy peter and thermite and stuff. Gotta keep Amos' pipes from freezing up from the ice rink, don't we?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 05 May 09 - 08:29 PM

Pull up some planks and the saw horses I saw in the back of the garage, the FOOD IS READY! It took about 24 hours to roast that beast through, but there should be enough for the next couple of days.

Anything extra goes on Janie's fancy plates, covered with plastic and will be put on the rink to chill. But dig in. I brought some of Cousin's Bar-B-Que sauce from Fort Worth. It's the best! (Better get some of the silver from the kitchen, no way plastic cutlery is going to work with this meat.)

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: artbrooks
Date: 05 May 09 - 08:30 PM

I got my K-bar!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: SINSULL
Date: 05 May 09 - 08:37 PM

I haven't seen the cat. Has anyone seen the cat? Come to think of it, I haven't seen the naked nuns either. Is it time to slip back to the Tavern and put some thought into what we do next? So far, spontaneous (combustion and otherwise) has ruled, We really need a plan. And some more whiskey. We're out. Unless some place delivers. Maybe MMario knows...
That dirty man with all the strange drugs is making me nervous. He insists on lighting up near Rapaire.
Hey i know - what can we throw into the volcano?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: artbrooks
Date: 05 May 09 - 08:40 PM

Isn't that where the cat went? and the nuns?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Donuel
Date: 05 May 09 - 08:42 PM

Belize has the best selection of previously legally owned cars in the world.

What is Amos bronging back?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: frogprince
Date: 05 May 09 - 08:57 PM

Nah, after the nuns got naked, they all decided to use the door out to Black's Beach. We've been having a blast out there playing volleyball.
Woooah, I think that one section of charred shell is the room where I left my clothes! Is there a towel left intact around here? I'm used to resort etiquette, as in having one to sit on when you sit on folk's furniture. I woulda put my pants back on, but...like...what pants?...
Anyone got any after-sun lotion? I sorta lost track of time out there.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Bill D
Date: 05 May 09 - 08:58 PM

"Post it, Bill! San Diegans love their sailors"


Nawwww...he knows where *I* live, too!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 05 May 09 - 10:11 PM

...what can we throw into the volcano?

Well, tradition calls for a virgin, but they're in pretty short supply around here... How about a tanker truckload of extra virgin olive oil?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 05 May 09 - 10:38 PM

What a waste of perfectly good Olive Oyl! Ate who, Brutus? Toss him in instead.

Just when did Amos say he was coming back? I think we can extend the cleaning potential from the Tavern into the house, what with all of these connecting corridors, doorways, and bottomless pits, but someone has to keep an eye out and get the cleanup started before he walks in the door.

Eat, eat! The food is getting cold.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 05 May 09 - 10:43 PM

I do hope, when he finds this, that he decides that it is better to laugh his ass off and not off the asses who made this mess. Know what I mean?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 May 09 - 11:02 PM

Ain't nobody gonna off nobody, iffen ya catch ma drift....

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Janie
Date: 05 May 09 - 11:05 PM

I think we have until at least Saturday to get the Welcome Home banner up -

Provided, of course, there is anything left upright to tie it to.


Don't know about the rest of you, but I'm heading for the victuals !




Not volunteering to get shoved in the volcano, but if time heals all things, it has been long enought that...oh, nevermind.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Janie
Date: 05 May 09 - 11:06 PM

Pardon the bold type.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Ebbie
Date: 05 May 09 - 11:08 PM

Not to worry, Stilly- I've got my escape route all mapped out. Involves three of the connecting tunnels. He'll never even know I was here.

Not that I have much doubt that he'll know whom to credit - or blame, as may be.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: wysiwyg
Date: 05 May 09 - 11:08 PM

Where the HELL is BARKY?!?!??!??!?

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Janie
Date: 05 May 09 - 11:15 PM

Amos and his tru-love gaze out at the moonlit cove.

Just think how excited he would be to know what he is missing at home!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Janie
Date: 05 May 09 - 11:16 PM

Why, I'm sure I don't know when I have had this much fun.

Fun is always so much better at some one else's expense. You know?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Ebbie
Date: 05 May 09 - 11:30 PM

And 'expense' is the word, Janie. Amos's credit card is a marvelous thing.

As for Barky- I believe she is at college. Do NOT call her.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Tinker
Date: 05 May 09 - 11:48 PM

Well SINSULL, if we need quick local supplies it appears they do deliver.... Perhaps a few platters of sandwhiches and finger foods and a restock of the bar is in order.

We probably should do something for the local economy before we take off.... How long does it take to get superfund status anyway???

Did anyone ever turn off the snow making machines?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: artbrooks
Date: 06 May 09 - 12:03 AM

Uh...we forgot...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 06 May 09 - 12:27 AM

I forget where I was going with this--oh, I remember now. Dinner. Enjoy! Great banquet in Tom Jones, but difficult to find since there is a singer using the same name.

Don't disturb the family. Let them live in peace. This party is our special gift for Amos. ;-D

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Ebbie
Date: 06 May 09 - 01:01 AM

artbrooks, he'll love it. My daughter lives in the same town and she always took her kids to the downtown snow. I'm going to give her a call. If I know her, she'll be here very soon.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 06 May 09 - 01:29 AM

I say, does anyone have any TP?

The zamboni was delicious but it's having a fight with the stegoranadontasaurus and I think it might be a wise idea to put some windows in that new outhouse wall you're building...

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 06 May 09 - 02:53 AM

Cat can't be missing!

Has anyone called John F Weldon?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: SINSULL
Date: 06 May 09 - 08:23 AM

This is getting serious. The snow has reached the volcano. It's plugging up the opening. It's beginning to look like a zit ready to explode. Worse yet the skiiers and snowboarders are crawling all over it. Meantime that idiotic squid has taken to ice skating. He's up there too. Should we warn the local authorities about a possible flood...or nuclear winter?
That would fix Amos but good, wouldn't it? If he came back from Belize to discover winter in California...
MMMMMWWWWAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!


Liz is looking abit like that volcano. Hope they finish rebuilding the loo soon.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: artbrooks
Date: 06 May 09 - 08:45 AM

Hummm...sounds like a sundae to me. Lots of chocolate syrup, and one of these for the top?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Tinker
Date: 06 May 09 - 09:04 AM

It's getting deep out there !

Whose tending bar? Something warm and strong please....

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 May 09 - 09:24 AM

You want a giant cherry bomb on top? How about this, painted red, instead?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Ebbie
Date: 06 May 09 - 09:28 AM

Waaaah! It froze off the moose's rack. What will they say in Alaska?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: SINSULL
Date: 06 May 09 - 09:54 AM

For heaven's sake, Tink. Bring that poor animal in here out of the cold. Here, Bossie. Sit by the fire on a warm blanket. A little hay; some water with a drop of whiskey and you'll be warm in no time.

It is a cow isn't it? Or a yak? Hard to tell...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 06 May 09 - 11:05 AM

Whoa! I think Amos would draw the line at cows in the house! Take that sorry creature out to the guest house, please!

Cows in the house. My gawd. What is the woman thinking? Next we'll hear she lets dogs in the house! On the furniture, even!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: SINSULL
Date: 06 May 09 - 11:17 AM

Sage - I accidentally knocked down the Guest House. And Rapaire accidentally blew up the yard. The Jell-O pit is frozen over from the snow machine. The cow or buffalo or whatever the hell it is stays. But now we need a shovel. And some stain remover. And some air freshener.


I think Amos is going to be pissed...

Oh look - a nice soft couch for Bossie to sleep on. Here little cowie. Up se go.
Do cows have horns...or antlers?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: SINSULL
Date: 06 May 09 - 11:19 AM

UH OH
http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/lanow/2009/04/fiberglass-cow-stolen-off-street-in-la-jolla.html

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 May 09 - 11:24 AM

Yeah, Amos took that to Belize with him.

Hey, those San Diego SWAT team folks sure know how to party! And they're really good shots! They shot out all of the lights in Amos' bedroom and barely punctured the waterbed.

Never saw a waterbed with mirrors and lights on the bottom before, but this IS Southern California.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: SINSULL
Date: 06 May 09 - 11:44 AM

Why exactly were you under the bed, Rap?. Be careful, water leaking out those light fixtures mightZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT...too late.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 06 May 09 - 11:50 AM

Nope. I draw the line at cows in the house. The one Amos took with him is NEVER going to smell like this creature. Ewwww, what a mess on the carpet, Amos is going to kill you, SINSULL. Why do you think people have problems with swine flu? Because at one point in time they used to let the pigs in the house! Cow pox, small pox, soon we're gonna end up with the MOAB flu and the MOABites will not stand for that! Nosireesir.

I just called in an urgent order to an Arizona firm. They're coming right over to put up one of these. The first space will go over where the old guest house was, no ground prep necessary, so you can get the cow and whatever else moved out there by evening.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: SINSULL
Date: 06 May 09 - 11:53 AM

Stilly - I don't think it's a cow. And whatever it is, now that's it thawed out, it's pissed.

By the way - at least part of that stench is Rapaire's singed beard. I hope he had his clothes on when he rolled under the bed.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Tinker
Date: 06 May 09 - 12:08 PM

Whoops -- looks like he brought a friend....

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: ClaireBear
Date: 06 May 09 - 12:09 PM

Rap. do you still have a few rolls of that lovely red and black Mediterranean carpet you took out of your house when you moved in? I think, given the bovine invasion, it might be prudent to replace the carpet in this living room. Meanwhile, I've got one of these for the cow.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 06 May 09 - 12:10 PM

It's a fake beard, he can toss it. And I suppose he can find a towel and join frogprince on a couch.

The new structure is going up, there's room for that thing.

Oh. I just realized why the smell. That's one of those dwarf woolly mammoths from Wrangel Island. See? Is this what it looks like?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Tinker
Date: 06 May 09 - 12:12 PM

Now stop messing with the bovine. House cows have quiet a following. I'm sure Amos will really appriciate our introducing him to this amazing experience.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Janie
Date: 06 May 09 - 12:15 PM

Oh look! Here come's a neighbor .

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: ClaireBear
Date: 06 May 09 - 12:15 PM

Make that two of these for the cows. Will ya stop bringing in livestock, already!?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Ebbie
Date: 06 May 09 - 12:23 PM

Well, I am no longer panicked (How could I have reported the truth to Palin?); since the snow and ice has been cleared I see that the moose is not the cow, or even vice versa.

By the way, I have news for everyone: Daisy, the cow in one of those links, is heavily pregnant. Anyone for a baby?

Amos will be so pleased. Idea: When he (inevitably) comes home, let's all gather inside and yell SURPRISE!

(The neighbor! lol)

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 06 May 09 - 12:28 PM

Screw cleaning this mess up! Let's contact the media in Belize and plant a story that San Diego's been quarantined due to the Baby Mammoth Flu. When Amos hears it, he'll cash in all the beer cans he's been stockpiling since the beginning of his trip, buy a hacienda on a few hectares of land, and forget about livin' in the USA.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: SINSULL
Date: 06 May 09 - 12:46 PM

I knew it wasn't a cow. It's a baby mammoth. Not horns - tusks. Isn't he cute, all 300 lbs of him. Wonder where his mommy is...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: wysiwyg
Date: 06 May 09 - 12:48 PM

Barky has a way of being where she wants and needs to be, and she'd be SUCH a fine addition to this party. (Please let me know if she shows up, and then I will too.)

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 06 May 09 - 12:57 PM

I think it might be more accurate to ask "Wonder where his mummy is. . ." but that is nit picking.

Please don't out this party. Participants must stumble upon it to enter with the proper sentiments (and sense of mischief).

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 May 09 - 01:11 PM

Would anyone care to hear me play the piobrachs? I play a duet with myself, using my fingers and toes, mouth and...well, I inflate the other bag too.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: ClaireBear
Date: 06 May 09 - 01:23 PM

Errrr, can you play "Far, Far Away"?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: SINSULL
Date: 06 May 09 - 01:32 PM

I thought you were under the bed looking at yourself in the mirrors?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 06 May 09 - 02:09 PM

driving paintball tank with snow plow attachment up the iced over volcano to sort out the skiers, ice skaters and squid.

I have requested this hoppity hop cavalry to assistin removal of bodies. Theay are adept at bouncing around skis, poles and blades of ice skates.

Very professional.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: SINSULL
Date: 06 May 09 - 02:40 PM

Pretty colors too!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: wysiwyg
Date: 06 May 09 - 02:47 PM

"Out" the party?!?!?! I could, but I would not DREAM of doing it!

Here's a hot tip tho, having once been there: leather-covered LR furniture. Mind the dirt-- it's beige. Party on! :~)

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: GUEST,freds
Date: 06 May 09 - 02:58 PM

Oh, this is delicious DNA! So tasteful. Spicy and yet no much so. Oh, so delicious. We have sent for The Others to come and enjoy it as well.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: SINSULL
Date: 06 May 09 - 02:59 PM

Careful where you go with that tank, Tam. That volcano has grown 30' in the last half hour. If someone accidentally sticks a ski pole into that swollen boil about to rupture - messy at best. DO NOT! I REPEAT DO NOT allow Severn anywhere near that site. Maybe it's time to get the duck, the cat, the octopus and the penguins safely back to the tavern. Shut the door tightly behind them. this will be one hell of a blast.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: ClaireBear
Date: 06 May 09 - 03:06 PM

Don't forget the polar bears!

But if Rap doesn't stop with the Piobrach, we might wanna leave him outside to appease Pele. And maybe the cows...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 May 09 - 03:13 PM

This IS Southern California. Any volcano will erupt with hugs, kisses, chocolates, good whisk(e)y, and lotus petals.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: SINSULL
Date: 06 May 09 - 03:15 PM

And the cows (or whatever they are) are staying on the couch in the house. SHEEEEEESH!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: SINSULL
Date: 06 May 09 - 03:29 PM

Looks like lava oozing from those fissures, at least to me, Rap.Maybe it's grenadine syrup to sweeten all that free whiskey?

AW look - all the hockey players are holding hands and singing..."We are the world/ We are the children..." I think the fumes are getting to them. heheh Claire is mowing them down with paint balls. LOL

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 06 May 09 - 03:36 PM

Had the geologist do some tests. Turns out it is not a volcano. It is a treacle mine


Waffles at the ready!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Bill D
Date: 06 May 09 - 03:44 PM

Ya' know... I doubt Amos took his guitar to his tropical paradise....or his bush hat. I do hope they have been protected during all the 'festivities'. I'll just nip round to the usual closets and check.....


hmmm...nope, not here... maybe in here---...oooops

Oh, GEE! I hope there's a good repairman in San Diego. I coulda told you all that slicing cheese and bologna on guitar strings was not a good idea! And a PINK hat? Was it IN the Cherry jello?

Oh, my....maybe some brownish shoe polish...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: SINSULL
Date: 06 May 09 - 03:48 PM

Bill! Stop! That's not shoe polish! Oh dear. that's the stuff the mastodon left on the oriental rug. OOOOOH that's nasty.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 May 09 - 04:13 PM

You can actually tell the difference between Amos' hat and what the mastodon left behind?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 06 May 09 - 04:16 PM

The treacle mine has developed some leaks, at least the ice is slowing the stuff down.

We need rescue operation for the hoppity hop cavalry. They are getting stuck in the syrup flow. Some have heated up and are floating away.

Looks like another amazing adventure for Captain Ball Breaker

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Janie
Date: 06 May 09 - 04:18 PM

An unsuspecting Amos enjoys the 5th day of his vacation.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 06 May 09 - 04:24 PM

Amos' hat?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: SINSULL
Date: 06 May 09 - 04:39 PM

I told you it was nasty. But if we paint it silver maybe he will think the Tin Man left it behind.



LOL Amos' backyard has turned into a giant snow cone. Looks a bit like the great Boston Molasses Flood too. Nicely done, all.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 06 May 09 - 04:46 PM

yummy

passing out the edible waffle spoons to everyone.

Dig in

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: artbrooks
Date: 06 May 09 - 05:42 PM

When is Amos due back? Is there a lookout welcoming committee at the airport?

Maybe we oughta level and pave the place now, and stripe it like a parking lot. It shouldn't take more than 8 hours for it to be discovered and filled with cars...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: GUEST,William Shatner
Date: 06 May 09 - 05:52 PM

Hello, fans! I heard there was a really cool party going on here and thought I'd drop in to see if anyone wants to heap some adulation on me. You may now begin groveling.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: artbrooks
Date: 06 May 09 - 06:03 PM

Oh - the Pizza Hut guy is here....

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Ebbie
Date: 06 May 09 - 06:06 PM

"An unsuspecting Amos enjoys the 5th day of his vacation." Janie

You know, Janie, except for being underwater that snorkeling scene doesn't look all that different from what his home does at the moment. Maybe we need more furniture?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 May 09 - 06:36 PM

I've got a chair! And I found a picture of Little Hawk and one of his friends!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: katlaughing
Date: 06 May 09 - 06:51 PM

Kat comes tripping in...Birks flapping gently, until she slips a bit. Dang it! What in the aitch?? Man you guys have REALLY made a mess in here! Does Amos know about this. Do your MOTHERS know what you've been doing in here? I hope Belize is worth it!

Sheesh, I kept hearing these rumblings and finally decided to check in...I was all ready to clean up the litter in the back garden, figured Spaw musta been kicking some about, only to find volcanoes, snow, and goodness knows what else. At least now I know why Amos isn't writing his ass off over in the new story thread to which he received a personal invite. Humph...if I were a drinkin' woman, I'd want one of those old amaretto sours I used to drink, but oh well, ta hell with it, virtual ain't gonna hurt the 3D meds any right? Barkeep! Someone point me in the right direction and bring 'em on!

We went to town to see
That old tattooed lay-dee
She was a sight to see
Tattooed from head to knee...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 06 May 09 - 06:53 PM

Shatner's here? Hi, Bill!

No wait, that's not Shatner, it's a pile of mammoth shit.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 May 09 - 06:56 PM

Don't you have "mammoth" is the wrong place? Shouldn't it come BEFORE the word "pile"?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: artbrooks
Date: 06 May 09 - 07:44 PM

How can you tell?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Janie
Date: 06 May 09 - 07:52 PM

Welcome Kat! The squid was tending bar until he/she/it fell in love with ice skating. Now I'm afraid it's "serve yourself."

Wait, where's that new guy, William? Be a luv and go fetch Kat a drink.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Janie
Date: 06 May 09 - 07:57 PM

I think he'll really like this sofa.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Janie
Date: 06 May 09 - 08:02 PM

And this chair!. Absolutely a must have!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: SINSULL
Date: 06 May 09 - 08:09 PM

ASIDE: If anyone attempts to send that shit to my house, all bets are off! Alice will be invited to piss on ALL your belongings and walk, sit and dine on the table where your food is served. BE AFRAID! BE VERY AFRAID.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Janie
Date: 06 May 09 - 08:09 PM

Oh, And Kat? I'll be over on the story thread in a couple of days, as soon as I finish my, uh, research.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: SINSULL
Date: 06 May 09 - 08:14 PM

HEY GUYS! SHHHHHH Make nice with Shatner. I think we have finally found our virgin sacrifice for the volcano. Give him a few drinks - maybe better make that a few bottles. Someone get Little Hawk out of here. Tell him there is a model of the Enterprise out back or tell him Khan is on the ski slope. Anything just get him out of here so the squid can grab the old fart, skate him over to the volcano and plug it up with his big blubbery ass or his face - whichever fits best.

And keep katlaughing occupied. Little Mary Sunshine won't be happy if we render down Captain Kirk in the fissures.

Thar she blows! I see the white whale!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 May 09 - 09:24 PM

Here's one of the pair of lamps I got him to go with the couch. And this one will look GREAT in the sewing room!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: katlaughing
Date: 06 May 09 - 09:48 PM

Uh, Janie, thanks, but you know I am going to have to notify PETA about that sheepshead chair..that is truly gross!**bg**

Sins...there is no love lost between me and Kirk; if you need is lardarse for stoppering up a volcano, I say go for it! Just don't use me as a lure, eh?

I found some really tacky things which one of the Founders of the Temple of the Golden Globes should have in his house...tenboob products including a lamp to massage. (Warning: adult content!)

More amaretto and sour and I've called for a backhoe for the litter. Sheesh! Quite a pile in here ya'll!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Janie
Date: 06 May 09 - 09:51 PM

I'm having a little trouble deciding on a coffee table. What do you think of this.

I'm just not sure.   There is alsothis one.

Hmmm...just not sure about either.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Ebbie
Date: 06 May 09 - 10:03 PM

Oh, oh, oh. Go with the Sumo wrestler. Amos will just love it.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Janie
Date: 06 May 09 - 10:12 PM

I'm so glad you recognized the need for more furniture, Ebbie. I don't know about everyone else, but it gives me such pleasure to shop for other people, finding gifts that have just the right touch - especially when they are paying for it.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: SINSULL
Date: 06 May 09 - 10:22 PM

Definitely the Sumo wrestler. I need some sleep. Some of that crap is starting to look good.


Is Shatner in place at the volcano? I wouldn't want to be responsible for any brush fires... Plug 'im in, girls!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: SINSULL
Date: 06 May 09 - 10:27 PM

Actually, I have always been partial to the leg lamp from The Christmas Story. An apartment on Fore Street keeps it in their window - lamp envy.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 06 May 09 - 10:48 PM

WAIT A MINUTE! BELAY CHUNKIN' OL' TUB-A-LARD INTO THE VOLCANO!

Has it not occurred to you that tossing something as unappetizing as a Shatner into the volcano will give the poor thing a severe case of indigestion? Then it will probably start burping up globs of lava which will melt the snow, producing a river running from Amos's house to the Pacific Ocean?

On second thought, Amos has always wanted waterfront property. Throw the lard-assed old ham in.

(Sorry, Bill, but Scotty can't beam you up from this one.)

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Ebbie
Date: 06 May 09 - 11:42 PM

Plug 'em in, tamp 'im down.

(Poor Bill. I've always kind of liked him. Or at least had a sneaking fondness for him. On the other hand, I don't watch him so what do I know?)

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: katlaughing
Date: 07 May 09 - 12:15 AM

Janie! Forgot to say thanks for doing your *research* and I"ll keep an eye out for ya!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 07 May 09 - 12:30 AM

Oh My Gawd. It's as bad as the Pillsbury Dough Boy. Look--it's coming from the back yard.

Bob's Big Boy. Did Amos have this buried in the back yard all of this time? Was he the one who made off with this iconic Southern California figure, made so important in Johnnie Carson sketches? But this one, it's walking, it's turning its head. . .

Duck!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Ebbie
Date: 07 May 09 - 01:52 AM

Stilly, I think that came from Sins' front yard. What it's doing here, I can't imagine. Unless it's a case of 'Where you go, I will go"? Attachments are sometimes hard to understand.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 07 May 09 - 02:49 AM

Quietly attempting a little clean up while partyers are sleeping off last night's festivities.

Le sigh!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 07 May 09 - 03:52 AM

Cough cough splutter splutter... I think I caught something off that squid you know.... Are you sure it's sanitary?

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Tinker
Date: 07 May 09 - 06:54 AM

Sanitary??? Have you look around this place ? The squid has a pretty good track record at the tavern, I'd guess the hockey players...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: SINSULL
Date: 07 May 09 - 08:10 AM

Maybe if we put that Big Boy where the guest house used to be, Amos won't notice that it isn't there anymore. What do you think?


Rumble Rumble RUMBLE RUMBLE...
BBBBBOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

Damn volcano just shot Shatner straight up into the sky. He's babbling something about the final frontier or maybe a law suit. Can't really tell.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 May 09 - 08:49 AM

Well, he's certainly gone where no man has gone before.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: SINSULL
Date: 07 May 09 - 08:56 AM

Do you think he will go into orbit or should we notify the the Air Force? What goes up...I like the idea of fighter jets shooting down Shatner. But they will wonder where he came from. Maybe we should just wait and see.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: SINSULL
Date: 07 May 09 - 08:59 AM

Liz? Upset tummy? Cough? And you do feel a bit warm...oh dear god it's Squide Flu!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 May 09 - 08:59 AM

Oh look! There go the interceptors from Miramar Naval Air Station!

By the way, I've arranged for the Blue Angels to do a fly-over at about 50 feet later today. They'll break Mach 1 just as they pass over. Sonic booms are great!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 07 May 09 - 10:15 AM

Anything that wasn't already cracked will certainly show the signs of that visit! What were you thinking? The neighbors might complain about that level of noise. (Did anyone think to invite the neighbors over to this party? That's always the best way to avoid complaints.)

The neighbor's diaper service driver walked over with the generous donation of a stack of clean large white towels. I think he got a gander at the bare birds and buns the other day. So cute--"Bide A Wee" is stencilled along one edge. How's the beach today?

Oooooooo!
Ahhhhhhh!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: SINSULL
Date: 07 May 09 - 10:31 AM

Actually after a roll in the molasses and a pillow fight in Amos' bedroom, the penguins are almost back to their old selves. To my relief they are covered with white feathers and no longer look like angry nuns. Hockey players in boas - quite fetching.

Liz isn't looking good. Are those tentacles sprouting out of her back? I really think we should notify WHO. They may want to quarantine her...but don't do it until the party is over. I don't wan tto be stuck here with her especially if Amos is due back.

A Big Bang above us? Neat! When?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: MMario
Date: 07 May 09 - 10:34 AM

And to think they said invertabrates couldn't host diseases transmitable to mammels. Unless Liz is a closet invertabrete?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: SINSULL
Date: 07 May 09 - 11:01 AM

More like a closet invert-a-bra, I think.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Ebbie
Date: 07 May 09 - 11:02 AM

"...he got a gander at the bare birds and buns the other day..." Stilly

I first read that as 'bare birds and bums". I too thought I saw some. Liz?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: MMario
Date: 07 May 09 - 11:13 AM

Wow ! Look at THAT!

Do you see it coming!

Is it a bird? Is it a Squid?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: SINSULL
Date: 07 May 09 - 11:13 AM

YUK She's oozing. This can't be good.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 07 May 09 - 11:18 AM

"Buns" and "bums" are interchangable across the Atlantic, aren't they?

Janie, any idea what Amos is doing in Belize today? Maybe he decided to loose those brown trunks and tan the ol' bum.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 May 09 - 11:37 AM

Look, Amos may not be the most educated or couth person around but I don't think it's nice to call him an "old bum".

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: MMario
Date: 07 May 09 - 11:41 AM

DUCK! It's c oming right at US!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 07 May 09 - 11:43 AM

I'll turn the other cheek after that remark, Rap.

Have you gathered up all of your explosives and heavy equipment so you can take it home when Amos gets back? Or is it all shrapnel in the back yard and surrounding county?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 07 May 09 - 11:53 AM

300 big laughs!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: SINSULL
Date: 07 May 09 - 12:01 PM

False alarm, MMArio. It's not a duck. It's just Shat....run for your lives. Run for your lives! Oh the humanity! Folks it's almost impossible to describe. 400 lbs of Shat hurling through the air from thousands of feet gathering momentum and ooooooh the house is gone. the swimming pool is gone. the volcano is gone. the penguins is gone. no Jell-O pit. POOR POOR Liz - no outhouse.

SPLAT! and it was all gone.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: SINSULL
Date: 07 May 09 - 12:03 PM

This is all that is left
http://www.durangobill.com/DesolationCynN.jpg

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: SINSULL
Date: 07 May 09 - 12:05 PM

Well! My work here is done. And SINS whistles her way happily through the trap door into the Tavern. "JD on the rocks with a twist please."

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: wysiwyg
Date: 07 May 09 - 12:20 PM

Here's a note from a good contractor to help Amos recover his property values post-Tavern. Don;t fall for that doom and gloom talk at the end-- if the bid is high enough, he might just do it:

~S~

===

In Order To
by Kenneth Patchen

Apply for the position (I've forgotten now for what) I had
to marry the Second Mayor's daughter by twelve noon. The
order arrived three minutes of.

I already had a wife; the Second Mayor was childless: but I
did it.

Next they told me to shave off my father's beard. All right.
No matter that he'd been a eunuch, and had succumbed in
early childhood: I did it, I shaved him.

Then they told me to burn a village; next, a fair-sized town;
then, a city; a bigger city; a small, down-at-heels country;
then one of "the great powers"; then another (another, an-
other)—In fact, they went right on until they'd told me to
burn up every man-made thing on the face of the earth! And
I did it, I burned away every last trace, I left nothing, nothing
of any kind whatever.

Then they told me to blow it all to hell and gone! And I blew
it all to hell and gone (oh, didn't I). . .

Now, they said, put it back together again; put it all back the
way it was when you started.

Well. . . it was my turn then to tell them something! Shucks,
I didn't want any job that bad.



Kenneth Patchen, "In Order To" from Collected Poems. Copyright 1954 by Kenneth Patchen. Reprinted with the permission of New Directions Publishing Corporation.

Source: Selected Poems (1957)

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: GUEST,Gluon the duck dog
Date: 07 May 09 - 12:28 PM

Wags tail

Can I put it back together now? Huh? Huh?

Puleeeeeze?!

Swish swish swish swish swish swish
swish swish swish swish swish swish
swish swish swish swish
swish swish swish swish swish swish (wags tail)

There. For my pal Amos.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 07 May 09 - 12:31 PM

Hmmm. How'd she do that? It's the old house and guest house (though I think she put back a few too many improvements--there does appear to be an ice rink back there, but the jello pit will have to be redug.)

The credit card bill will still be huge, and I see all of Janie's pretty plates and the various pieces of furniture and library stuff.

Did his hat and musical instruments come back to their old selves? What else did Gluon "fix" around here?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: SINSULL
Date: 07 May 09 - 12:33 PM

Peeking through trap door: "Hey Duck. You put it back to what it was before Shatnergate. Must be like the refresh button on an Excel spreadsheet. You'll be clicking for days."

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: GUEST,Tinker
Date: 07 May 09 - 12:41 PM

Ah the sun is now shining and My feet are raised.... I'd like a Margarita with lots of salt while I just enjoy the view...
Gulon -- could you pull off that clean and organize thing at my house?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Ebbie
Date: 07 May 09 - 12:58 PM

Well, I, for one, was counting my blessings when the whole scene became just a green hole in the ground. Amos, after all, does not have a good memory and upon seeing the hole his reaction was likely to be bemusement.

But I don't know about Ghuon's 'fixing'. There is ALWAYS something left undone (Ever tried to have a party when your parents were gone?), something grossly out of place or glaringly missing or something like that.

Well. I, for one, am not going to go around eyeballing everything to check it. I have done ENOUGH.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 May 09 - 01:06 PM

FIRE IN THE HOLE!!!

I just CAN'T take any explosives home...I'd be drummed out of the Legion.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 07 May 09 - 01:08 PM

Gluon is fast and deals in Carl Sagan kinds of stuff--I'm sure the process of "putting things back" is subjective--to a duck dog's experience. The house, guest house, and rink are apparently NOT BLACK HOLES OR WORM HOLES, but that is probably the ONLY assumption we can make about this super-fast restoration.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 07 May 09 - 01:08 PM

Oy.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Ebbie
Date: 07 May 09 - 01:13 PM

INCOMING!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: SINSULL
Date: 07 May 09 - 01:13 PM

heh heh That hat will survive anything won't it? A little singed and smelly but it just keeps on keepin' on.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Bill D
Date: 07 May 09 - 01:37 PM

You think Amos will notice his guitar is in BAGDAD tuning?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: ClaireBear
Date: 07 May 09 - 01:49 PM

It was already in BADDOG tuning when we got here. It isn't all that different now.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 07 May 09 - 02:26 PM

Duck Dog

How he stay so clean an white while clearing up mess?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: SINSULL
Date: 07 May 09 - 02:38 PM

Look carefully MS. Tam. he didn't quite get everything back to the way it was before we arrived. The volcano, for instance, is much smaller but is hiding in the toilet. Shatner is in the kitchen filling his face with green Jell-O (that alone will out us) and smoking cigars - that will go over big. Rapaire, the hockey team and the squid are still missing. So is Liz and don't forget she's contagious. Maybe we should just arrange an earthquake - he would never suspect that all the damage wasn't caused by an earthquake.

Where is that wand?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: ClaireBear
Date: 07 May 09 - 02:44 PM

We can solve the Shatner problem by deflating him -- remember? He started out as one of Little Hawk's blow-up plastic pals.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: MMario
Date: 07 May 09 - 02:46 PM

I always suspected that about Bill S.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Bill D
Date: 07 May 09 - 02:56 PM

*musing over the mess ....and clever, but strangely eccentric 'cleanup'.

Who knows...,mebbe he'll like the new layout.

(well, if he doesn't, Amos has only himself to blame for touting his local weather while we were freezing our butts off and shoveling snow.)

Yep..it's fine weather, Amos... a great place to visit.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: SINSULL
Date: 07 May 09 - 03:00 PM

LOL The skating rink is his mattress. Amos won't be laughing at anyone who's cold for a while anyway.
Forget the wand. I think things are perfect just the way they are.

But let's find Liz.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 May 09 - 03:14 PM

I, ah, kinda sorta accidentally blew up the outhouse that last time.

I think that Liz was perhaps maybe inside.

If she was, she might be achieved geosynchronous orbit about now.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: SINSULL
Date: 07 May 09 - 03:22 PM

geosynchronous orbit?




explain...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: MMario
Date: 07 May 09 - 03:32 PM

High up enough that one orbit takes 24 hours - thus apparently stay ing one spot over the earth.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: ClaireBear
Date: 07 May 09 - 03:33 PM

You know, I think the post-Gluon house looks a little different from the outside, too. But I think Amos will like it okay.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: SINSULL
Date: 07 May 09 - 03:37 PM

So Liz is the moon? She has tentacles, you know. Will they throw her out of orbit? Was she...uh...uh...properly covered when she went off? Oh my...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 07 May 09 - 03:37 PM

The problem with letting Gluon "fix" things is that he-she-it can't really "return things to the way they were". What's done is done and can't be undone.

Are you familiar with the Theory of Infinite Universes? In a nutshell, it says that if it's possible for either A or B to occur, and if A occurs in our universe, then there's another universe in which B occurs, but that universe is hidden from us. If you stop for a STOP sign in our universe, there's another universe in which you run the stop sign. (Shatner knows all about this 'cause it was the idea behind one of the old "Star Trek" episodes.)

What Gluon does when he "fixes" something is to fold space-time so that the two universes flip-flop. They may be similar, but they're not exactly the same. That's why the volcano looks smaller. There are a few other differences as well, though most of them aren't quite so apparent.

Here's a brief list of a few things that changed when Gluon "fixed" things:

Garrison Keilor is good looking.
Every character Steve Buscemi has played was still alive at the movie's end.
I play guitar better than Tommy Emanuel.
Rap music was a fad that only hung around for a couple of years.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: SINSULL
Date: 07 May 09 - 03:43 PM

and all the fat people are now thin and all the thin people are now fat. I thought Shatner looked svelte. Look at me! Size 5 and craving lettuce. Nicely done, duck-dog.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 07 May 09 - 04:04 PM

Well that explains it!

It also explains why the walls aren't quite straight in the back half of the house (great call, C-Bear!).

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 07 May 09 - 04:08 PM

By the way--Liz has been doing a lot of travelling lately. If she's in geosynchronous orbit at least she'll get over that jet lag! That's one way to reset your circadian clock.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: SINSULL
Date: 07 May 09 - 04:10 PM

Is this localized? Or all over the world?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 07 May 09 - 04:46 PM

By the way, one other small change brought on by Gluon's "fixin'"...

It's no longer necessary to go to Black's Beach to be naked. The entire state of California has been declared "clothing optional". Not just the beaches, but the whole place. Wanna hang out on Sunset Strip naked? No problem. Wanna drive on the Ventura Freeway naked? No problem.

In fact, Black's Beach has been set aside as the only "clothing required" sanctuary in the state.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: SINSULL
Date: 07 May 09 - 04:55 PM

Meantime in Butte Montana streaking is considered a sex crime.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: frogprince
Date: 07 May 09 - 05:20 PM

Well, at least I can get to a store to buy some clothes to go back to Michigan; so far as I can see, Gluon didn't happen to resurrect the one I came with. Oops, my billfold and credit card were all in those pants!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Tinker
Date: 07 May 09 - 05:23 PM

Okay the merging universes and nuns and penguins and... just take a look...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 07 May 09 - 05:40 PM

frogprince, use Amos' card. Or Berts. You might also want to step into the original tavern to see if your pants landed in there.

That was a strange one, Tink! Here is a group with a more benign message. I know I've seen a shot of Zubin Mehta in a tux in Antarctica, but it isn't turning up. A photographer will have to do. . .

Good thing Amos isn't going there in his brown swimming trunks!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Ebbie
Date: 07 May 09 - 06:15 PM

"I think the post-Gluon house looks a little different from the outside, too" Clairbear

ClaireBare, is that fleshy pink creature on one's right in the picture what I fear it is? Is that (shudder my moose minus his hairy parts?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: ClaireBear
Date: 07 May 09 - 06:34 PM

I don't know what you think it is, Ebbie, but what it is is one of the giant squid's tentacles, hanging on for dear life. Gluon tried, but Squiddy wouldn't be banished back to the aether whence it came; said it liked 'the San Diego vibe' too much. Won't Amos be surprised!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Bill D
Date: 07 May 09 - 06:58 PM

Hey... it seems the "Ugly dog" contest is held in or near San Diego.
   He looks like he got caught in Rapaire's blasting!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 07 May 09 - 07:12 PM

That dog's kinda cute. Sure, it looks a bit like what one would find in Beelzebub's toilet after he drank a six-pack of ColonBlow, but kinda cute anyway.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: katlaughing
Date: 07 May 09 - 07:31 PM

ClaireBear, those are my FAV. houses! I have visions of adding one on to the backyard side of our house, but if I can get you lot to come over and do it for free, then hey, come on over!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Janie
Date: 07 May 09 - 08:14 PM

Oh Tinker...priceless!

I'm not quite sure when Amigo Amos will be home. Sometime between tomorrow night and Sunday.

What kind of welcome song do we want to sing? Do we need to rehearse?






Or maybe we should just get out of Dodge ASAP?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 07 May 09 - 08:25 PM

What kind of welcome song do we want to sing? Do we need to rehearse?

Nah, let's just hire Alice Cooper and have him do "Welcome to My Nightmare".

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Janie
Date: 07 May 09 - 08:27 PM

Amose obliges a couple and snaps a picture with their camera while touring this site today. Little does he know that he will have plenty of opportunity to view ruins upon his arrival home.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 07 May 09 - 08:31 PM

Why, after this remodel, he'll never want to leave home again! (He won't dare!)

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 May 09 - 08:56 PM

Hey, did you know the Legionairres and Legionettes are adding a tank car of vodka to the jello pit, along with shredded carrots and little marshmallows?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 May 09 - 09:01 PM

You know, I just found a few gallons of that paint Amos used on his
car. We can paint the inside of what's left of his house for him. He'll appreciate that.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 07 May 09 - 09:29 PM

Kat, if you want your house to look like one of those Flying Concrete creations, it's a pretty simple matter. I'll just slip over to my neighbor's cow pasture this evening, pick a handful of those mushrooms growing in the cowpies, and send 'em to ya. Eat a couple of 'em and your house will look just like the ones in those pictures.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: katlaughing
Date: 07 May 09 - 09:33 PM

Oh, yeah, sure, BWL! That'll make me happy for awhile won't it!?LOL!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 07 May 09 - 11:37 PM

Between the contents of that jello pit and the by-products in BWL's cow pasture, Amos will find a very mellow group of party-goers when he walks in the front door.

Who's playing look-out tomorrow? He's gonna get here sooner rather than later. Anyone running a pool on what he says first time he opens his mouth (so to speak)? I'll put a couple of bucks in on the chance that it has the word "shit" in it. . .

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 08 May 09 - 04:14 AM

Helloooooooooooooooooooooooooo?

















Anyone there?????????














Little help please???
































Hellooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo?

Moonlight, it's me,
It goes with my hair......

mostly silver.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Janie
Date: 08 May 09 - 06:24 AM

Oh dear, Liz dear.


Quick, some one come up with a mythological creature to go rescue the dear girl.



We absolutely don't want her to miss the "homecoming."

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Janie
Date: 08 May 09 - 06:29 AM

Enjoying the coolness and quiet before sunrise on their last, or next to last morning in paradise.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Tinker
Date: 08 May 09 - 07:21 AM

Hmmm I'm running off to bring my daughter home today, but I'm sure you all will finish getting everything put together for a

Oh, and be sure the jello pit is ready for Liz's landing... , I heard the Canadian's weren't real pleased with her desending orbit...

Liz's landing...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 08 May 09 - 08:18 AM

Liz miss the homecoming? Actually, Liz will be the only one there for the homecoming. The rest of us will have skedaddled, leaving Liz stuck in the loo for Amos to discover...


...and pin the blame on.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 May 09 - 08:29 AM

Loo, loo, Liz in the loo, loo, loo, Liz in the loo....

'Sokay. We'll have a net out.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Ebbie
Date: 08 May 09 - 10:48 AM

And here I am. Is there anyone about?
I'm down here in this plughole and I can't get out
And I've been here for at least a day or two
Can anybody help a little Lizzie in the loo?

(With apologies to Marcus Turner)

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Bill D
Date: 08 May 09 - 11:03 AM

You DON'T want to be caught in the loo when himself gets home....he may need those facilities...

"Loo, loo...skip from the loo.."

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 08 May 09 - 11:24 AM

Gluon, fetch! Liz and Ebbie. Now.

Good girl! Gooooooood Girl!

Betcha didn't know she could do that trick, did you?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: GUEST,Gluon
Date: 08 May 09 - 11:56 AM

Quark!

Quark!

Quark! 

Quark!

Quark!

Quark!

Quark!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Ebbie
Date: 08 May 09 - 11:57 AM

Oh no, no, no. Why ME? Why always me... sob

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 08 May 09 - 12:05 PM

I think there's a shower still working. You two look like you could use a good hot one. There are still a few of those diaper service towels around here, help yourselves.

MMMmmmm and maybe we should open a window for a while. . .

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 08 May 09 - 12:30 PM

Is there any of that meat still on ice in the rink, or should someone go shopping to restock Amos' fridge before he gets home?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 08 May 09 - 12:42 PM

I want my teddybear... and some chocolate...



































































but most importantly, a clean pair of chuddies...

Now let's skedaddle before it all hits the rotating air distribution device!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: artbrooks
Date: 08 May 09 - 12:46 PM

Hummmm...I understand that there is a public library in Pocatello that could use some remodeling....

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 May 09 - 12:56 PM

It does not exist in any space-time continuum.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 08 May 09 - 12:58 PM

Oh. I was going to enlist the help of Nunzilla to go and fetch back Liz.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 08 May 09 - 01:02 PM

I heard these guys were really good at putting things right. Mind you, they usually have to be the ones to have put it wrong in the first place.

How much time before Amos rolls in?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Janie
Date: 08 May 09 - 01:29 PM

Well, that adds a bit to the excitement and sense of...uhm...adventure. We don't quite know his ETA, other than sometime between and Sunday.

So, the question becomes who will be most surprised when he turns up.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Bill D
Date: 08 May 09 - 01:30 PM

Those guys will have to have a good supply of either a popular carbonated soft drink, or some powder from Colombia to do their work, because as we know

"Things go better with Coke"

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 08 May 09 - 01:43 PM

Hmmmm. Have we loaded Amos' PM box with a load of pointless junk mail?

Think I'll start with the simple message.. "It wasn't me. I didn't do it."

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: artbrooks
Date: 08 May 09 - 01:50 PM

Too easy to track, VT...let's just fill all his shoes with left-over lime jello.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 08 May 09 - 02:00 PM

I wonder if we could all retire from this thread and let it drift close to the bottom so when he finally opens it it looks like we've all left. Or hidden really well.

I've done intensive research (rereading MOAB) and find the departure date mentioned but no return date. Since he left on a Friday, chances are good for symetry sake that he might return on a Friday.

So. . . .


Everybody, Hide!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 May 09 - 02:09 PM

Why should I hide? I'm not ashamed of trying to make Amos a new potty shed. It's not MY fault that his slide rule has funny decimal points.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 May 09 - 02:15 PM

There were these two cannibals, see? One asked the other "Whatcha doing>" The second replied, "Havin' a ball."

A few minutes later the second cannibal asked the first if he'd mind running down to the store and get him a a Coca-Cola. "Why?" asked the first. "Because things go better with Coke," said the second.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Ebbie
Date: 08 May 09 - 02:29 PM

Well, I, for one, am not going to refresh this thread.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: ClaireBear
Date: 08 May 09 - 02:54 PM

I'm not either. But maybe we should get up a welcoming committee to distract them and delay them a bit while we finish tidying up in here.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 May 09 - 03:10 PM

Place looks fine to me, apart from where the Legionairres and Legionettes had that barfing contest/orgy in the bedroom.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 08 May 09 - 03:30 PM

Oh? I missed that.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 May 09 - 04:04 PM

No, they said you won both parts.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Ebbie
Date: 08 May 09 - 04:18 PM

hahhaha Oh, it is too much. hahahhahah

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: ClaireBear
Date: 08 May 09 - 04:18 PM

Not to worry, we've had that entire bedroom shipped to an alternate universe and replaced it with this one.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: ClaireBear
Date: 08 May 09 - 04:22 PM

Or was it this one? I forget.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Bill D
Date: 08 May 09 - 04:27 PM

Could someone change this thread title to something innocuous...like,
"Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos.."?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Janie
Date: 08 May 09 - 04:33 PM

That, MR. Bill, is a brilliant idea!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Ebbie
Date: 08 May 09 - 04:37 PM

That rock cave bedroom is gorgeous. I think I might incorporate it into one of the rooms in my partially underground hillside home.

But here is a currently existing one (I tend to prefer things dripping with opulence):

Moody Cave to Fancy Spirits

Do you think Amos might like one for his own? Right now, when the sky is the limit (at least until his card maxes out), is an excellent time to explore new ideas.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 May 09 - 05:19 PM

Perhaps something, like Amos, that's simple. Or we could provide some more...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 May 09 - 05:20 PM

...to his taste.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: GUEST,Mystrocard/Vista of Amerika, Inc.
Date: 08 May 09 - 05:30 PM

It has come to our attention that a person or persons unknown at this address has purloined one or more credit cards belonging to one of our clients and has utilized this/these cards in an unauthorized manner. Please be aware that it is our policy to prosecute such activities to and beyond the limits allowable by law.

It is our intention to (1) subpoena the records of the virtual entity known variously as "Mudcat" and/or "The Mudcat Cafe", (2) determine the true identities of those responsible for these activities, and (3) assure that they are directed to make restitution as well as receive an appropriate sentence of incarceration.

Our research into the activities of the aforementioned individuals indicate that an appropriate sentence would be enclosure in an elevator-like structure for a period not to exceed six months, during which time the Muzak shall be programmed to play only Montovani, as performed by The Thousand and One Strings.

Additionally, we have determined that the individual whose cognomen is "Max" has no liability for these actions, but that the individual known as "Joe" had both full knowledge of them and the ability to terminate them at any time. Further, we plan to request that the appropriate authorities issue an arrest warrant for the person known as "Liz" for indecent exposure and corruption of an invertebrate semi-sentient.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 May 09 - 05:37 PM

Hey...Mistyvisty.

Bite me and the horse I rode in on.

No, wait, I mean "and the hors d'oevures you rode..." nah, that ain't right either.

Anyway, it's a Dustcover card so wadda YOU care? Have some of this extremely old, extremely rare, Scotch that was laid down in anticipation of the coming of Charles II.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 08 May 09 - 05:46 PM

Hey, Janie, they missed you and your dish shopping!

Oh, but maybe I shouldn't mention your name. . .

This bed would be very cosy. I liked that "simple" one up above by Rapaire; Claire, that white room was way too fancy and think about all of the dirt that would show!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: GUEST,Mystrocard/Vista of Amerika, Inc.
Date: 08 May 09 - 05:51 PM

Let it be further known that this corporation, hithertofor known as "us" or "we", have been in contact with the bureaucratic hierarchy of the polity commonly known as "Pocatello, Idaho" and have advised them of the subversion of publicly-owned property, to wit computers, laptop computers, and/or internet access by a low-level management official of that polity, commonly known as "Rapaire".

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: artbrooks
Date: 08 May 09 - 05:57 PM

Do you think those will be adequate, after leaving this behind?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 May 09 - 06:03 PM

It's all in your mind, pissysissy. I don't really exist.

That beach bed...it all comes back to the mosquitoes. And the sand fleas. And high tide.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: ClaireBear
Date: 08 May 09 - 06:07 PM

Stilly, that does look cosy. The white room wasn't me, though, that was Ebbie. I like rooms with a bit more personality. What's the use of opulence, if you can't have color as well?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: frogprince
Date: 08 May 09 - 06:10 PM

Doggone, ClaireBear; that Chinese whorehouse looks the same as when I was there 43 years ago!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: ClaireBear
Date: 08 May 09 - 06:25 PM

...except, strangely, it's in India now...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: ClaireBear
Date: 08 May 09 - 06:25 PM

400, by the way.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 08 May 09 - 06:34 PM

I agree, Claire. Color is a must!

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: katlaughing
Date: 08 May 09 - 07:30 PM

And, here's a Tasteful space for deep cleansing after all that work!

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Bill D
Date: 08 May 09 - 07:41 PM

LOLOLOLOL... if he reads this far, he'll be asking what the original title was!

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: ClaireBear
Date: 08 May 09 - 07:46 PM

Thanks Kat, and once we've had our baths we'll definitely require some spiritual renewal as well. Wonder if one of these would fit into the shell of the guest house, out back? I bet Amos would like a meditation space...

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: catspaw49
Date: 08 May 09 - 08:07 PM

Keericed on the fuckin' proverbial crutch................what a friggin mess......Is that a pile of elephant shit over there? Damn..............

Listen Amos, I wanted to post here and let you know that I never even showed up! Go ahead and check.......I was never here so don't send me a bill for jackshit. If Jack shit on the floor than send Jack the bill. I WAS NEVER HERE and had nothing to do with all the wanton destruction or the inflated totals on your credit card.

Glad I ain't you.....I'm sending Cletus, Paw, Buford and the Reg boys your way to help in the clean up.......

Spaw

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 08 May 09 - 09:21 PM

Did you hear the story about elephant shit and dung beetles this week on Terry Gross' Fresh Air? Do you know what happens when you drop elephant dung on the ground?

Watch then.

oo00o0o0o0o0o000033
oo86OO08ooOOO08oo

There. Elephant dung.

ping

ping ping

ping ping ping

ping ping ping ping ping ping

ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping

That's incoming dung beetles. The guy interviewed said "it's like a huge bucket of dung beetles literally poured over the top of you."

Spaw, I think you'd better come clean this up, and be prepared to sweep out about a ton of dung beetles.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 May 09 - 09:34 PM

Spaw, they'll get along good with the Idaho Legion. The Legion's already on site, digging bunkers for Amos. At least they told me they were bunkers.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: GUEST,Mother MOAB
Date: 08 May 09 - 09:39 PM

That's right dear, nothing happened. Now be a good boy and clean the mess up. You should have put your toys away before you left.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Donuel
Date: 08 May 09 - 11:28 PM

wow this party could make a clinically depressed person happy.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: SINSULL
Date: 08 May 09 - 11:49 PM

Never thought I would ever see a place that made mine look tasteful.
More to the point: GUEST Mystrocard, come sit down by the fire and have a nice single malt - straight up? on the rocks? How do you like it?



Sage - get behind him/it with the net. We'll dump him in the Jell-O pit with the squid.


The squid did come back, didn't he/she?

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: open mike
Date: 09 May 09 - 12:20 AM

in case things get out of hand
and the bar be que sparks a fire
or we need to re-fill the pool
here is the world's largest
plane to do the job..
the Martin Mars
have super scooper
will deliver water..

http://www.xomba.com/martin_mars_water_bomber_footage_video
http://www.martinmars.com/sitemap.htm
http://www.martinmars.com/aircraft.htm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=frLNuJvMCXs

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 09 May 09 - 01:08 AM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GkfHCRChve8
http://www.martinmars.com/sitemap.htm
http://www.martinmars.com/aircraft.htm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=frLNuJvMCXs

Hot links installed!

The squid IS back, but is still a little tender after being defrosted off of the ice rink. You might have to coax him out of the guest house.

SINS, I think the drink is working, the net isn't necessary. You know how sleazy those credit card folks are. You have that one drinking out of the palm of your hand. So to speak. But just in case, I shoved the net under your chair from behind, all you have to do is whip it out and throw it over if needed. I tried to pack it far enough under there so it isn't a tripping hazard. You wouldn't want anyone to fall down around here!

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Peace
Date: 09 May 09 - 01:20 AM

I think the living room would look great painted in a dark brown enamel.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Peace
Date: 09 May 09 - 01:31 AM

A very dark brown, and add purple drapes with light blue carpet for that 'je ne sais pas quois' look.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 09 May 09 - 02:30 AM

I found this abandoned movie set and hitched it to the tank.

If we put it out front, I think we can fool Amos into believing he is no the wrong street, maybe even the wrong town.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 09 May 09 - 02:37 AM

This guy
was dancing around in the living room. I think the squid let him in. Evidently his trousers went the same way frogprince's did.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Janie
Date: 09 May 09 - 09:45 AM

I'm safe on the dishes. There is no evidence left after the hockey players finished with their skeet shooting. And anyway, I signed Ebbie's name on all the purchases I made.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Ebbie
Date: 09 May 09 - 10:49 AM

Ha! Right backatcha, Janie. I've been using everyone else's name. By now, my name is barely a blip on the screen.

I'm gonna tell, I'm gonna tell
I'm gonna holler and I'm gonna yell
I'll get you in trouble for everything you do
I'm gonna tell on you

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: ClaireBear
Date: 09 May 09 - 11:01 AM

Great work with that net, SINS.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 09 May 09 - 11:11 AM

Bruce, if you paint that room dark brown the furniture will be almost invisible in there.

Hmmmm. Interesting idea. Maybe if you took in the right kind of lighting and some interesting accent stuff you could make it look like an opium den or other Victorian smarmy hangout.

However, I think we're pretty far gone when it comes to paint in this household compound. Paint doesn't stick to singed wood too well, for starters, and out near the rink it is too cold for paint to stick.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: GUEST,Mystrocard/Vista of Amerika, Inc.
Date: 09 May 09 - 11:11 AM

You people just don't understand. There is no proper level of FEAR in you. We know all of your darkest secrets. NOTHING that you charge is hidden! We know about the movies you guys rent in your motel rooms. We know about the Krispy Kreeme doughnuts you gals get on the way home from your Weight Watchers weigh-in. Beware! Mess with us and your frequent flier points are GONE!!

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: artbrooks
Date: 09 May 09 - 11:18 AM

And besides, regular paint or stain doesn't stick well to paintball blobs.

Brown leather is classy, but don't you think something like this would fit Amos better? He does live in California by choice, after all.

Would somebody tell that geek that we are all on the "do not call" list and we don't want another credit card.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Janie
Date: 09 May 09 - 11:38 AM

Mr. Credit card ghoul be very glad that it was Sins what netted you. If it had been Rapaire this would have been your fate!

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: ClaireBear
Date: 09 May 09 - 11:56 AM

Hey, I bet if we leave one of these in the driveway, he won't really care what the house looks like anymore.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Bill D
Date: 09 May 09 - 12:35 PM

"He never had a purple chair,
He never went to see one.
But this one is his only choice,
Because it is a free one"

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 09 May 09 - 12:49 PM

(I tend to prefer things dripping with opulence):

It's certainly dripping with something....

I didn't do nuffink, I wasn't there, I was on a different continent entirely....


LTS

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 09 May 09 - 12:56 PM

Liz, incontinent doesn't count. . .

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Peace
Date: 09 May 09 - 03:14 PM

Then could we do the living room with a wallpaper like this?

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Peace
Date: 09 May 09 - 03:17 PM

A start for the kitchen . . . .

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: gnu
Date: 09 May 09 - 03:19 PM

Hmmm... would that be a titty bar?

Oh... a buddy sent me an email re the fact that some of those fives in yer wallet may have been in the crack of a stripper's(s') ass at some point. Not terribly bad... as long as it wasn't some swine that put them there.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: GUEST,Peace
Date: 09 May 09 - 03:21 PM

This coming from a guy who said on a thread that he used to play hockey with frozen balls.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Ebbie
Date: 09 May 09 - 04:23 PM

The Peace offerings have cooled my ire. (And I thank him)

I now wish to be part of the solution and not aggravate the problem.

What can I (may I) do?

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 09 May 09 - 04:35 PM

That kitchen Bruce offered was obviously a joke. Amos never had a kitchen like that and so that isn't our starting point. If I recall correctly, all of those few days ago, the original looked something like this, so that's what we need to aim at for our restoration.

Is that what you had in mind? Or did you want to add some upgrades?

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: wysiwyg
Date: 09 May 09 - 04:51 PM

Their kitchen is a basic galley-style kitchen with adjoining breakfast nook.

~S~

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 09 May 09 - 04:53 PM

You could go rustic and tropical, for example. Of course, one of the more expensive kitchens like at Hearst Castle is not necessarily the model we want to follow--it's rustic but too dated, n'est pas?

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 09 May 09 - 04:55 PM

Is this what you mean, Susan?

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: wysiwyg
Date: 09 May 09 - 05:01 PM

I'm sure they'd love it but it didn't look that way when I was there a few years ago.

~S~

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Peace
Date: 09 May 09 - 05:20 PM

Neat kitchen. Close the opening with a water-tight gate and ya gotcher basic hot tub. Clever, very clever.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 09 May 09 - 05:22 PM

I'm sure they've remodeled since then. In the world of virtual destruction, restoration, and design, we're giving ourselves a great deal of latitude. For example, this would be a fabulous addition to the back yard, a guest house for some of our more unusual Mudcat participants.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 09 May 09 - 05:43 PM

Cross-posted, Bruce. That's an idea--take a bath and wash the dishes simultaneously! Save water and time!

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Bill D
Date: 09 May 09 - 05:44 PM

I WANT that house! Amos can have the Hearst Castle!

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: ClaireBear
Date: 09 May 09 - 06:01 PM

Why don't we just build him an outdoor kitchen? He could feed more of us, with all that space. And he does, after all, have all that excellent weather...

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: SINSULL
Date: 09 May 09 - 06:24 PM

Is Gluon around? I need him to space time continuum this credit card representative. If he does it just right our little foibles will all be lost in the banking scandal and the bills will go away. One more step on the way to pre-vacation Amosville.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 09 May 09 - 06:35 PM

Slaps forehead!

SINS, you've forgotten. The regular Mudcat Tavern is around here somewhere. Just walk him through, and remember that coat closet over next to the bar? There's a way through to the recovery ward. Surely he's recovering from something. Nurse Ratched would love to help us with this, I am sure.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Janie
Date: 09 May 09 - 06:46 PM

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Janie
Date: 09 May 09 - 06:48 PM

a href="http://image42.webshots.com/42/4/86/70/2383486700089500728PBeefR_fs.jpg">Oh dear.




So much for the renovations.


Where's Rapaire? I'm going to ring his bloody neck for this!

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Janie
Date: 09 May 09 - 06:49 PM

Well, what I was trying to do would have been quite amusing had it worked. Since it didn't, I'll get me hat and slink off for a little while.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 09 May 09 - 07:10 PM

What was Janie up to? (This link probably won't go there from here.)

Okay, I saw it. The trick for those so inclined, is to copy
42/4/86/70/2383486700089500728PBeefR_fs.jpg
into the google search bar and click on the google photo icon. Or do some similar image search. It comes up in a webshots page that won't let you link out from it.

Anyway, what a mess. Nope, Janie, you can rest assured. That isn't Amos' house. That's one down the block that was, well, unfortunately, collateral damage back when Don Firth pushed that button of his. The least we can do is tidy it up.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 09 May 09 - 07:26 PM

NOT THE RED BUTTON, NEVER press the RED BUTTON!!!

LTS

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Ebbie
Date: 09 May 09 - 07:28 PM

"Surely he's recovering from something." Stilly

We can only hope. Looking on the bright side, it is always possible that he has short term memory loss- just briefly, of course. Bemusement, as I intimated before, is the best we can hope for.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Janie
Date: 09 May 09 - 07:50 PM

I also had nothing to do with this, Amos. As you know, I'm a goodie-two-shoes from way back. Some one stole my cookie and did all sorts of mischief under my moniker. But it wasn't me. Hunuh. 'twern't me. I think it was that mean guy, Peace, and his partner in crime, Ebbie. She just seems nice and sweet, what with that million dollar smile and all. But looks are deceiving.

Kat was also one of the ringleaders. It was her what put Rapaire up to calling in the Legionairs, the Marines, and the Navy. You know how gullible he is.



Wait a minute. Nevermind, I just remembered.


Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: SINSULL
Date: 09 May 09 - 08:13 PM

I was here in frosty Maine all week and know nothing.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Ebbie
Date: 09 May 09 - 08:33 PM

Oh, come on! (shiver, shake, quiver, quake)

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Skivee
Date: 09 May 09 - 08:33 PM

Where do you folks want this Mayan pyramid ice-sculture?...Probably not near the hottub.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Janie
Date: 09 May 09 - 08:41 PM

Deposit it in the middle of the ice rink. We decided Amos would probably like to keep the ice rink. The ski slopes had to go. City ordinances and all that, you know.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: GUEST,Mystrocard/Vista of Amerika, Inc.
Date: 09 May 09 - 08:49 PM

Return it. The card that these miscreants have been using, utterly without the authorization and approval of the cardholder, has been CANCELED.   

We have taken steps to direct the confiscation of any and all computers used to make on-line orders so that they may be checked for fingerprints. Certified handwriting experts have been called in to determine the true identities of the individuals forging the cardholder's name on charge slips. All current and former members of the U.S. military will be recalled to active service so that they may be charged under the appropriate military regulations. Tax refunds and other federal transfer payments will be withheld to repay these felonious charges. Deportation proceedings will be initiated on all individuals who are non-citizens residing in the United States. Non-citizens residing outside of the United States will be immediately placed upon the watch/forbidden entry lists maintained by the Department of Homeland Security.

That will teach you all to mess with me!

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Janie
Date: 09 May 09 - 08:58 PM

Ha. Ha. Ha.

You little bullying pissant.

And anyway, take it up with Amos when he gets home. After all, he is the one with all the remaining merchandise, and the beneficiary of all the services.

I sez, let him deal with it.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: ClaireBear
Date: 09 May 09 - 09:09 PM

You tell 'em, Sistah Janie!

By the way, I had nothing to do with it either. Musta been some other bear. Unless you like it, of course. In that case I assisted in the effort wholeheartedly.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: GUEST,Guest/ Not Ebbie
Date: 09 May 09 - 10:19 PM

Fyi: It is my understanding that Ebbie has left town.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Tinker
Date: 09 May 09 - 10:33 PM

Given that the neighbors haven't complained even once, and clearly Amos left a work order for a few minor improvements, and whereas the property owner left the card to secure said improvements in his absence, and whatsoevermore It looks damn good if I say so my self....

To whomsoever it may concern at Mystrocard/Vista of Amerika, Inc. please have your legal department contact our legal department to sort out the varying juristictions of the cross-continental/ intergalactical and varied-dimensional/demonsional contracts. Please collect a formal business card from the bartender and use the there identified legal contacts for all further communication. The bartender will be sure to show you the way out.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 May 09 - 10:42 PM

I like the dark brown enamal. Perhaps some orange spots along the walls will help with the accent.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Peace
Date: 09 May 09 - 11:18 PM

We have to hide the beer, gin and rum bottles or Stilly will be in BIG trouble.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: frogprince
Date: 09 May 09 - 11:32 PM

I gotta get some pants somewhere; he's going to have enough trauma to deal with when he comes in, without some guy he's never seen before accidentally mooning him hello...

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 09 May 09 - 11:42 PM

Why will I be in trouble, Bruce? I've had a glass of wine at my elbow off and on for any number of posts, and you see how well it turned out! (And none of it on the keyboard--knock wood!)

But I don't know about Amos--I was out checking the landscaping, to see if it was going to recover from all of the pyrotechnics, freezing weather, and water, and er, well, I found this. All I was doing was looking for a sample, in nature, of brown with orange spots to see if it would look okay in the house. I think I like it better on butterflies and pot potted plants.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Janie
Date: 09 May 09 - 11:46 PM

frogprince, thanks for the inspiration!

Hey everybody, when Amos drives up, lets all....

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 09 May 09 - 11:49 PM

fp--These were originally for women, but I think they look pretty much unisex. "Nude beach" refers to the bottles sans labels (hence, "nude"). That's the best I could come up with in a big hurry.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 09 May 09 - 11:54 PM

Oh, and for Amos, this woman, she had an unusual name, Charlize, she said she'd heard all about your Golden Globes group and wanted to know if she could join. It can wait until you've had time to a) find your house b) find your room and c) unpack your bags.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Ebbie
Date: 10 May 09 - 12:04 AM

What a great idea, Stilly! Distraction is the key.

(But what in the world is the matter with her foot?

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: GUEST,Amos' Friends
Date: 10 May 09 - 12:04 AM

Welcome Home!

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: artbrooks
Date: 10 May 09 - 12:18 AM

Need some of that Crack Spackle, methinks...

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Janie
Date: 10 May 09 - 12:29 AM

Well, perhaps.




Or we could simply accept that most of us are no longer young bums.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 10 May 09 - 12:32 AM

Noted without comment: All posts made by the fictional representative of the Mystrocard/Vista Company have been deleted from this thread.

How do YOU spell "overzealous"?

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Janie
Date: 10 May 09 - 12:36 AM

Guess we showed him/her/it!

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 10 May 09 - 12:37 AM

Really?! They have? They have! I wonder why--our continuity could be shot to Hell for this! Foul! Fowl! I cry Foul!

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: artbrooks
Date: 10 May 09 - 12:38 AM

Did she finally annoy a mod, ya think? Can't see why, really.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Janie
Date: 10 May 09 - 12:44 AM

Or we annoyed a credit card company.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: GUEST,/ NOT Ebbie
Date: 10 May 09 - 12:54 AM

Why do Amos's friends look familiar to me- Way too familiar! lol

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: GUEST,Peace
Date: 10 May 09 - 01:20 AM

I'm pretty sure Amos is in this pic.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 10 May 09 - 02:22 AM

Or does Amos scuba dive? Was that on his agenda in Belize?

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: GUEST,/ NOT Ebbie
Date: 10 May 09 - 02:29 AM

Maybe the one in the hat, Peace?

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 10 May 09 - 02:38 AM

To sum it up: a Guest/Mystrocard/Vista Company rep stopped in several times. Finally, SINSULL dropped a net over that individual and we sent he/her/it to Nurse Ratched in the Recovery Ward for a little electroshock therapy regarding some extravagant credit card purchases. I don't know why that avatar disappeared, Ratched doesn't have the html skills, and no one protested that presence, so I hope those posts reappear. Their disappearance is, frankly, more disturbing than Rap's explosives or Don's use of The Button.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: wysiwyg
Date: 10 May 09 - 03:59 AM

In fact he has been a scuba diver.

~S~

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: katlaughing
Date: 10 May 09 - 11:12 AM

Psst...he's b-a-c-k!!!

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: SINSULL
Date: 10 May 09 - 11:23 AM

Let's all try to look innocent...

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: ClaireBear
Date: 10 May 09 - 11:34 AM

Who, me? Why, I'm 500 miles away!

(I've been taking lessons from my cat. Ever notice how they can knock over a crystal vase and be across the room, grooming themselves, before it hits the floor?)

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 10 May 09 - 11:35 AM

Twiddles thumbs. Pushes a chair a little closer to the window for good reading light. Sets the paperback book he was reading on the chair where it's easy to find. Wanders to the front door, opens it quietly, then runs like hell up the street, hops in the pickup truck, and peels out!

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: artbrooks
Date: 10 May 09 - 12:05 PM

Is there a chair? Is there a front door? You had better run!

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Bill D
Date: 10 May 09 - 12:07 PM

"No one expects the Spanish Inq.. Purple Chair!"

(It does look ummm...comfy...if one has a bit of sunburn.)

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Janie
Date: 10 May 09 - 12:59 PM

Ha! We have rendered Amos speechless with surprise.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Bill D
Date: 10 May 09 - 01:04 PM

It takes awhile to rearrange the furniture and read 500 posts while alternately laughing and shaking his fist....and planning revenge.

sure glad I live 1800 miles away

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: SINSULL
Date: 10 May 09 - 01:05 PM

Maybe he took a look turned around and went back to Belize...

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Amos
Date: 10 May 09 - 01:51 PM

Holy Effing Batshit, Robin!!!!


I am FLABBERGASTED!! GOBSMACKED!!! Why did no-one tell; me such a party was going on!! I could have saved all that airfare!!!

My Gawd!! The sheer creativity, inspiration, diligence!!!

Hey, I had a wonderful, wonderful time and am bvery mellow from seven days of tropical breezes and Cuba Libres.

There were wonders to behold. Here's a brief extract. Manta rays by the score, nursesharks, wandering international entrepreneurs with grandiose schemes, singer-songwriters from Tennessee, wizards and angels of every description wandering the white sands.

An awesome trip.

So I am SO mellowed out, I think I will just fire up the drill press and band saw and start reforming the place and putting it to rights agaiin. This time I am going to put up some safeguards so I won't be losing sleep next time I go away wondering who is sneaking into the place via my internet connection. Great Gawd Almighty!! I have NEVER seen the like.

I am glad you guys had fun!!!

It was heart-warming to come back and find the mess. Just heart-warming. So heart-warming I will be n Prilosec for a month. But it was worth it, I tell ya!! Thank you all very very much for your incredible efforts...yeah....that's right!!


A

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: wysiwyg
Date: 10 May 09 - 02:36 PM

Didn't Gluon get it all back right? If not, I left you a contractor link....

~S~

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Amos
Date: 10 May 09 - 02:48 PM

You guys had me laughing out loud in the middle of a Belize-style hangover. This is one incredible thread, and y'all are one incredible buncha guys!!!


Thanks for the nightmares and the laughs!!!



A

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 10 May 09 - 02:56 PM

Well, heck, I could have saved myself the trouble of hunting down an atoll in the South Pacific if I'd realized you were at one right there in Belize. Your iPhone might have detected the link, though, and ratted us out.

That purple chair might be comfortable if you singed your backside while snorkling.

If you don't need it, I'd like to reuse this kitchen. Unless you're going to keep it. It would look great on the back of my house.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 10 May 09 - 02:58 PM

Oh, and that library early in the thread, that would look great in my house also. Once I get the loan to push the roof off, that is. . .

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: GUEST,/NOT Ebbie
Date: 10 May 09 - 03:16 PM

I told you he'd like the moose.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: maire-aine
Date: 10 May 09 - 03:19 PM

It was the least we could do, Amos. No, really. Think what we could've done if we'd had a bigger budget.

M

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 May 09 - 03:26 PM

Or more explosives!

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 10 May 09 - 03:55 PM

Hi Amos

Welcome home. Here's the keys to the paintball tank .

I put it on your credit card.

While it may appear that Spaw didn't do much at the party, you can rest assured he orchestrated most of it in a behind the scene kind way. He is the one that gave me your credit card.

Anyway, I can let you have a new supply of paintball ammo, real cheap so long as you pay cash.

I don't trust your credit, mate.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Charley Noble
Date: 10 May 09 - 05:13 PM

Welcome home, Amos!

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Peace
Date: 10 May 09 - 05:22 PM

Welcome back, both of you.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Amos
Date: 10 May 09 - 05:51 PM

AFter this junket to the land of manatee and manta ray, dark rum and diveboats, I don't think my credit counts for much, so you're probably right!!

A

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 10 May 09 - 06:42 PM

You know what is missing here?

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 10 May 09 - 06:42 PM

500!

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 May 09 - 07:29 PM

More high explosives?

By the way, the Legion hath returned, most of them. Some of them fell behind by falling down and some are still lost but most of them are back.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Amos
Date: 10 May 09 - 07:48 PM

One of them lost their way and ended up on one of our expedition boats into the jungle last week. Said his name was Hightops Hank. He had a droopy long handlebar mustache and a three day growth of moss on his face, bloodshot eyes and a way of speaking that told me at once what I was dealing with--as though he'd been drunk all morning for six straight days. He was explaining as how the Legionairres had send him to bump me off so they could pay off that credit card with the life insurance, and he was just fumbling for his sidearm, but had gotten it mixed up with opening his fly, somehow...anyway, just then the boat operator spotted a beautiful salty under a mangrove bush and swerved over to take a look and although I tried sticking out my foot to help him, Hightops kinda lost his balance there looking at that salty, and fell into the tangled branches, got wedged there while the boat pulled out, and ended up as sneaker-canapes for the croc. Damn shame--he looked like he would be fun as a drinking partner once disarmed, and now I'll never know. Not to mention the loss of that really antique Colt long barreled sidearm. A shame.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 May 09 - 09:33 PM

Well, that accounts for one of them. Only 167 to go.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 10 May 09 - 10:29 PM

166... there's been a terrible accident with the jello pit...


Don't look, it ain't purdy.

LTS

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 10 May 09 - 10:52 PM

Quick, pop him onto the skating rink. Maybe someone who specializes in cryogenics can revive or reuse him.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 May 09 - 11:44 PM

Amos, I think Chongo wants to apologize about all those holes in your garage. He was cleaning and checking out the tommy gun and, well...he had a little accident. That thing has a hair trigger. You could pretend it's deliberate renovation, the new "Swiss Cheese" style in garages that's just catching on lately. In California people might believe a story like that, eh? ;-)

Chongo tends to get all tongue-tied when he's apologizing for something (specially after 11 pm and his 10th shot of whisky), so I'm passing the message on for him.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 11 May 09 - 12:53 AM

There was a tree guest house installed a couple hundred posts back that was meant to catch the eye of Chongo, but he (and you) never stopped by to notice. Others enjoyed it, however.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 May 09 - 12:56 AM

Well, that's good.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 11 May 09 - 01:17 AM

I couldn't find it in the thread so I did another search. This may not be the exact link, but there are a number of images of this unique house. I think Chongo would enjoy it. It is also a restaurant.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: open mike
Date: 11 May 09 - 01:20 AM

ahhhh-Ambergris ...sounds much more romantic than whale puke, eh?

i sometimes call my daughrer, Amber,
by her nick name: "petrified pine pitch"

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 11 May 09 - 04:59 AM

yeah! I have heard of them there naturally air cooled buildings.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Amos
Date: 11 May 09 - 10:57 AM

Laura:

Try this version of Ambergris.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 11 May 09 - 04:23 PM

Beautiful place. How is the health of that coral?

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: gnu
Date: 11 May 09 - 04:42 PM

I recall the first time I heard the Newfie saying, "She's flat oily ca'm." And also, when I heard Robin Williams say, "He's slicker than whale sit."

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 May 09 - 04:43 PM

I doubt that it's much good. Amos checked the blood pressure (0/0), pulse (0 bpm), heart (nothing to hear), lungs (nothing to hear), EKG (flat line), EEG (flat line), and temperature (ambient).

Ergo, the stuff is dead, dead, dead. No vital signs at all.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 11 May 09 - 04:45 PM

Did you try the wallet test? Carefully remove wallet of victim and betcha anything, if he's fakin' it, he'll twitch when you get a hold of that wallet!

LTS

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Amos
Date: 11 May 09 - 05:01 PM

We saw two interesting examples. On a snorkeling expedition out at the south end of the local region, we moored at a tiny desert island, with three palms on it and white sand fingers of beach leading into a shallow area littered with coral. It seemed to me there were huge swaths of dead coral bones all over the place, with a good number of healthy corals in between. I asked about it and the explanation was the natural destruction caused by hurricanes and tropical storms. They get really hard hurricanes once every few years, and even the barrier reef does not prevent huge violent waves and winds reaching the shallower inside waters.

A couplke of days later I was diving along another section, about ten miles further north along the barrier reef, and the entire region looked healthy with only a few scattered areas of broken bleached remains.

In both areas the marine life was astonishing to swim among--sea turtles, manta rays, jacks, groupers, school-masters, nurse-sharks, occasional dolphins.

A

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Severn
Date: 11 May 09 - 05:45 PM

We had our own okay coral group going, including some funny reefer men we got on referral, but we ran into a great barrier when the singers began contracting some throat polyps that weren't part of the original contract, so we had to disband before recording any welcome home songs.



But welcome home, anyway!. Somebody was supposed to have composed some, if they didn't decompose in the interim......

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Severn
Date: 11 May 09 - 05:53 PM

Other than that, nothings happenned in your abscence by the unevent-full. Lots of 'em!.....

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Amos
Date: 11 May 09 - 07:59 PM

It's wonderful to see you getting your swing back, Severn. Finest recovery I ever did see/saw. I hope you don't back-slide, but I know you've got the sand to pul it off. Let us know if the sand balks, though.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 11 May 09 - 11:22 PM

Hmmmm. I wonder, if Severn was a house guest at Amos' recently, er, refurbished abode, maybe a few of the stray electrons that Don Firth released when he pushed that button would help restore some of those spots where the skin grafts are making connections?

I'm not a doctor, I just generate chaos at Mudcat.com. . . you know, the usual disclaimers need to come into play.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: GUEST,rumanci
Date: 12 May 09 - 09:42 PM

Heck !
I'm sorry I missed this home invasion and mice playing until after the dude cats returned.
Do ya think they noticed that twelve foot hole in the road outside with the piano, Fred in his dungarees, or the mysterious jungle-green eyes lurking ? or is that still in MY imagination ?
Dang !

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 13 May 09 - 02:05 AM

Rumanci - I think you need to adjust your meds again... that isn't Fred with the piano... it's a squid, and those are not dungarees.

LTS

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: GUEST,rumanci
Date: 13 May 09 - 09:06 PM

squeak he he !
What has adjusting mods gotta do with my eyesight or imagination problems ?
Maybe the squid is just sick and we'll all be in the money. Eh ?

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 18 Jun 09 - 12:42 AM

Amos, I just found a piece of mail that someone pulled out of your mailbox while you were away. I think they planned to get in ahead of you in this delicate legal matter. I slapped him upside the head gave him a stern talking to. Here it is:

From: Woods Maxwell & Associates <[e-mail]>
To:
Subject: From the Desk of: Woods Maxwell Esq.
Date: Jun 17, 2009 8:51 AM
Woods Maxwell & Associates
4 Al Rashid Street, Gargash Center, Deira Dubai
E-mail: [e-mail]
Reference # GLS./LEGALH//PRO/PRCDRE 2312.

SUBJECT: - Next of kin/Will Beneficiary to Mr. Richard Meyer.
Good Day Friend,
This is a personal email directed to you and I request that it be treated as such. I am Woods Maxwell Esq. a British national; I have live and worked in Dubai United Arab Emirates for 13 years with my family which I am the personal attorney/sole executor to the late Mr. Richard Meyers of Dublin Ireland. Herein after referred to as " my client" I represent the interest of my client killed with his immediate family in a small plane crash near Eveleth, Minnesota on October 25, 2002 and I will like to negotiate the terms of investment of resources available to him.
My client was a contractor to Shell Petroleum Development Company, United Kingdom (SPDC), and had left behind a deposit of Five Million Six Hundred United States Dollars only ($5,600,000.00 USD) with a Bank here in United Arab Emirates where I am presently residing. The funds originated from contract transactions he executed in his registered area of business. Just after his death, I was contacted by his Bank to provide his next of kin; reasons being that his deposit agreement contains a residuary clause giving his personal attorney express authority to
nominate the beneficiary to his funds. Unknown to the Bank here in Dubai United Arab Emirates that my client had left no possible trace of any of his close relative with me, making all efforts in my part to locate his family relative proved to be unfruitful since his death. Note down from my clients own story, he was only adopted and his foster parents whom he lost in 1976, according to him, had no possible trace of his real family. By virtue of my closeness to the deceased and his immediate family, I am very much aware of my client's financial standing. I do sincerely sympathize the death of my client, but had thought it unprofitable for his funds to be submitted to the government of this country and the finance institution where the fund is lodged.
On this note, I decided to search for a credible person and was moved to contact you to put up a claim to the bank in that capacity as a next of kin/will beneficiary to my client, so that the proceeds of his bank account valued at Five Million Six Hundred United States Dollars only ($5,600,000.00 USD) can be paid to you, before they get confiscated or declared unserviceable to the Bank where this huge deposit is lodged.
Note that this is legal and 100% risk free. I guarantee that this will be executed under a legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any breach of law. As I said, I require only a solemn confidentiality on this. Please get in touch via my alternative email: [e-mail]    for better confidentiality and if okay by you, send me your full name and address, telephone and fax numbers to enable us discuss further on this transaction and also to enable me go to the Dubai High Court here in Bur- Dubai and secure all legal documentation on your behalf to enable you get the legal backing to the claim If this proposal is acceptable by you.
I am looking forward to your understanding and co-operation.

Kind Regards.
Woods Maxwell Esq.

No hard feelings, eh? Shane says he won't do it again.

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Amos
Date: 18 Jun 09 - 01:47 AM

Oh, it's no problem at all Still. The fellow keeps on writing with his damn money, waving it under my nose all the time. I have told him a dozen times to push off, that I care nothing for the stuff, and that only love and music can move me or stir my devotion, but he is of that ugly breed of jade that perseveres in cynical belief that everyone has a price. Tell Shane he's welcome to it.


A

Subject: RE: Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Jun 09 - 09:19 AM

Did you need this letter from some lawyers that I signed for for you? Something about patent infringement or something, or maybe it was paternity. Anyway, I figured that since it said "commanded to appear and bring all pertinent documents both written and electronic" it was junk mail and I shredded it to save you time.