BS: Free The Upper Stoke One

Subject: BS: Free The Upper Stoke One
From: GUEST,Sooty Chicken
Date: 16 Jun 09 - 01:12 PM

I urge you to please support the cause of Ginger The Chicken. (Chicken C) who has been wrongfully arrested for murder of a vicious and thoroughly nasty fox. You can follow the case by reading various Kent based threads on the Lyrics and Knowledge section above.

Please sign up to this just and worthy cause.

Subject: RE: BS: Free The Upper Stoke One
From: GUEST,Sooty Chicken
Date: 16 Jun 09 - 02:13 PM

The evidence can be found here


Evidence

Subject: RE: BS: Free The Upper Stoke One
From: The Barden of England
Date: 16 Jun 09 - 02:18 PM

Ginger the Chook gets my support. The best gate crasher of a party this side of Strood!!
John Barden

Subject: RE: BS: Free The Upper Stoke One
From: Girl Friday
Date: 16 Jun 09 - 02:21 PM

Get's mine too! At least the fox is dead!

Subject: RE: BS: Free The Upper Stoke One
From: GUEST,Desmond Morris
Date: 16 Jun 09 - 02:36 PM

All chickens are innocent. I'm going to write a book about 'The Naked Chicken' being an overview of battery hens. I tried to charge one up with some jump leads mind you, and I reckon that's where Colonel Sanders got his idea from.

Subject: RE: BS: Free The Upper Stoke One
From: GUEST,George Cansdale
Date: 16 Jun 09 - 02:39 PM

Bah! Humbug. All chikens are wannabee turkeys!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Free The Upper Stoke One
From: GUEST,Colonel Sanders
Date: 16 Jun 09 - 03:51 PM

I only use the finest chickens with my Original Recipe. Any fowl sullied by sensationalist news will not find a resting place in one of my family buckets.

I suggest the Ginger chick and her Sooty apply elsewhere. They'll not find gainful employment here.

Subject: RE: BS: Free The Upper Stoke One
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 16 Jun 09 - 06:55 PM

Nonsense. Any animal that gets laid before it is born cannot be trusted to behave as a respectable member of society. And then there are all those goings on with Rufus Thomas. And the Sweet Rhode Island Red. And Foghorn Leghorn. These are not good character witnesses.

Subject: RE: BS: Free The Upper Stoke One
From: artbrooks
Date: 16 Jun 09 - 08:27 PM

And as anyone knows who has ever eaten chicken nuggets, all chickens are cats, anyway.

Subject: RE: BS: Free The Upper Stoke One
From: Peace
Date: 16 Jun 09 - 08:29 PM

Secret's in the sauce . . . .

Subject: RE: BS: Free The Upper Stoke One
From: GUEST,Morris and Dorris the field Mice.
Date: 16 Jun 09 - 08:46 PM

We Will support Ginger The Chicken she has a eggcellent Character.
The Sad thing is of Course" She only really came out of her shell a couple of years ago.
That Raynard The Fox? we always said No good would come of him when he ate those fireworks and the judge let him off, That was his first Brush with the law.

Subject: RE: BS: Free The Upper Stoke One
From: GUEST,Billy Bull Frog.
Date: 16 Jun 09 - 08:58 PM

Croak...."That Raynard the fox .Croak....Burp... told me a joke about Ginger The Chicken...Burp ...Croak... and why she didnt wear knickers.....Croak... Something about her peckers on her face?
Nasty Fox. Croak Burp..........I ,ll leap to her Defence.

Subject: RE: BS: Free The Upper Stoke One
From: GUEST,Everhard the Ram
Date: 16 Jun 09 - 09:19 PM

I agree with Billy Bull Frog. I heard Ginger the Chicken one day going MOOOO, BAAAAA, WOOOF WOOF. Meeeeeeeow Oink Oink. And Raynard heard it too. He teased her relentlessly and mercylessly for ages there after. She was only trying to learn forign languges bless her.

Subject: RE: BS: Free The Upper Stoke One
From: GUEST,Pierre Le Chapeau
Date: 16 Jun 09 - 09:31 PM

How on earth did a BBQ in Lower Stoke Kent England and a real live Ginger chicken lead to all this? "Complete Nonsense" I tell you.
Sue Turkey T.D.L. started it. Now the whole worlds in on it.(Fantastic.

Subject: RE: BS: Free The Upper Stoke One
From: Girl Friday
Date: 17 Jun 09 - 07:33 AM

You broke my cover man.... no camp stew for ewe.

Subject: RE: BS: Free The Upper Stoke One
From: GUEST,Sooty Chicken
Date: 17 Jun 09 - 07:39 AM

I'd like to thank Ms Turkey for her support in this case - but it don't get the chicken off the hook.

GINGER THE CHICKEN IS INNOCENT!!!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Free The Upper Stoke One
From: GUEST, Ratatosk the messenger from Yggdrasil
Date: 17 Jun 09 - 07:44 AM

The fox went out one wintry night...

Everyone knows that.

So if Ginger did shoot Raynard, it must be self-defence. Or she was protecting her young. A mother can do that.

Subject: RE: BS: Free The Upper Stoke One
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 17 Jun 09 - 10:01 AM

And that Fox had its own terrorist organisation doing propaganda for it too.

Subject: RE: BS: Free The Upper Stoke One
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Jun 09 - 03:25 PM

If you stroke their sternum you can hypnotize chickens. Then you can whack their head off with a little red hatchet.

Subject: RE: BS: Free The Upper Stoke One
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 17 Jun 09 - 03:38 PM

Hey Rap...

The purpose of this thread is to save the chicken, but not to save it for your dinner.

Subject: RE: BS: Free The Upper Stoke One
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Jun 09 - 04:17 PM

Right. Save the chicken. Now I get it. Save the chicken, save the chicken, save the shickin, shave the chicken.

I got it.

Subject: RE: BS: Free The Upper Stoke One
From: Dead Horse
Date: 17 Jun 09 - 09:37 PM

Sage words.
Mebbe some onion too, huh?

Subject: RE: BS: Free The Upper Stoke One
From: Girl Friday
Date: 21 Jun 09 - 11:21 AM

The Chicken does not want to be shaved ! It is too cold at night here in Kent. THE CHICKEN NEEDS SAVING !!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Free The Upper Stoke One
From: Pierre Le Chapeau
Date: 22 Jun 09 - 04:52 PM

There a imposter out there the above post where I blew sue turkeys cover was NOT ME..Sue Turkey is Innocent.

Subject: RE: BS: Free The Upper Stoke One
From: GUEST,D.C. .L. ABRADOR . DOG UNIT.
Date: 22 Jun 09 - 05:31 PM

Warants have been issued today for the Execution of Ginger The Chicken. details of execution will be released at a later date.

And a 2ND warrent has beeen ISSUED for the arrest of her
"SIDE CHICK" Sooty The Chicken.

Subject: RE: BS: Free The Upper Stoke One
From: GUEST,The Animal (and Birdlife) Liberation Front (
Date: 23 Jun 09 - 09:40 AM

We have discovered the cell in which you have incarcerated Chicken G and have mobilised our team of highly trained chimpanzees. They will be armed and highly dangerous. We have sent Sooty into hiding.

THEY ARE BOTH INNOCENT!

Chicken Licken... we need you to go and see the King again... a Royal Pardon may be called for.

Subject: RE: BS: Free The Upper Stoke One
From: GUEST,David Attenborough
Date: 23 Jun 09 - 09:51 AM

Re the above posting from a George Cansdale. Seeing as I am over eighty, and George was about 68 when I was first on tv. I believe he is an imposter. Anyway I mentioned this to my brother, who is going to make a film of all this. Also he might be able to put in a word in Royal Circles.

Subject: RE: BS: Free The Upper Stoke One
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 23 Jun 09 - 10:23 AM

Why does no-one mention the third member of the chicken gang? Is she MacAvity the Mystery Chicken, the one they call the hidden claw, being the master chicken, who can defy the law?

Subject: RE: BS: Free The Upper Stoke One
From: GUEST,Chicken G Support Group
Date: 23 Jun 09 - 10:50 AM

We are sorry, but we cannot divulge any information relating to the above, believing it to be sub judicae. Please forgive spelling, but we are only chickens after all.We are trusting in the English legal system, M'lud Hoff, and McClaw and Co. Legal Advice. Although it seems that M'lud Hoff may have passed the death sentence himself. We were not in court on that occasion. Was he wearing the black hat?

Subject: RE: BS: Free The Upper Stoke One
From: GUEST,Chicken Little
Date: 24 Jun 09 - 02:18 AM

No time to spend on individual cases at this juncture. S'cuse me but ain't you heard? The sky is caving in. We are all gonna die.


Flap flap....

SQWAWK

Subject: RE: BS: Free The Upper Stoke One
From: GUEST,The Chicken Liberation Front
Date: 24 Jun 09 - 03:35 AM

We believe that Bernard Matthews has got them. We're going to kidnap Sue Turkey and use her as a hostage!!!!

The Liberation Front for Chickens

Subject: RE: BS: Free The Upper Stoke One
From: GUEST,Sooty Chicken
Date: 24 Jun 09 - 12:15 PM

Surely, with all these pro-chicken activists out there, Ginger should be free within days. And what are the Flying Squad doing? Sitting around on their wing flaps no doupt! Squawk!!!! Also, where are the chimps?

Subject: RE: BS: Free The Upper Stoke One
From: GUEST,The Animal(And Birdlife)Liberation Front
Date: 24 Jun 09 - 12:29 PM

We ordered our elite squad of ninja chimpanzees to break into Ms Chicken's high security holding pen, but they refused to move unless we gave them tea and biscuits and dressed them in summer frocks and straw hats. We have now fed and clothed them and dispatched them. The Chicken shall go free range soon!

Subject: RE: BS: Free The Upper Stoke One
From: GUEST,Chintzy MD Kent Comedy Coroner
Date: 24 Jun 09 - 01:20 PM

Coroner report

Raynard the Fox
Date of death 15 Jun 09
Time of death between 10:38 AM and 1:41PM


The patient was a 5 year old Red British male fox with no significant past medical history. Initial examinations revealed the eyes were glassy, pupils fixed. There was neither heartbeat, nor pulse. The body was somewhat soft rigor mortis not yet set in prior to autopsy.

Further investigation, probing the wound discovered corpse was stuffed with polyfibre fill, leading to the conclusion that this must have been a ritual killing. Analysis of the fur shows that it consited of polymeric fibers. Evidently the body was skinned of its natural pelt and the faux fur replacement sewn on to it.   Fur quite matted with red sticky substance aound wound. Analysis revealed it to be tomato ketchup, an Old Macdonald's Happy Meal carton was found near the body. A LifeLikeFriends tag was sewn into the faux pelt confirming the the killer had serious sociopathic tendancies.

Subject: RE: BS: Free The Upper Stoke One
From: GUEST,Prof: Sigmund Freud
Date: 24 Jun 09 - 08:42 PM

I thank the Coroner for his report and can now submit my findings regarding the accused, one Ginger The Chicken.

17th June 2009

I carried out several psychological tests upon the chicken.

1/Rorschach test The patient identified every ink blot as an ink blot.
2/



































I have carried out the required tests as follows.

1/Rorschach test. The Chicken positively identified all the ink blots as ink blots


2/ The Barratt Impulsiveness Scale - I found the Chicken lacking in any impulsiveness.There was no signs of substance abuse.

3/The Robin Hood test.

I found the chicken to be of sound mind with no psychopathalogical tendencies.
The Robin Hood test

S. Freud

Subject: RE: BS: Free The Upper Stoke One
From: GUEST,Professor Freud's Secretary
Date: 24 Jun 09 - 08:44 PM

Subject: RE: BS: Free The Upper Stoke One
From: GUEST,Professor Freud's New Secretary
Date: 24 Jun 09 - 08:47 PM

Please accept our apologies for the method of presentation in the above report.The former secretary has been sacked and replaced by an orang-utan called Mavis

Subject: RE: BS: Free The Upper Stoke One
From: GUEST,Chintzy MD
Date: 25 Jun 09 - 02:50 AM

Working with Inspector Clumseau renowned police artist Pepe le Pew has created this
reconstruction of the victim using the very same materials and methods employed by the killer.

Subject: RE: BS: Free The Upper Stoke One
From: GUEST,Bonnie Brown Hare
Date: 25 Jun 09 - 10:37 AM

That looks like the thug who tied me up with blue ribbon, only more lifelike

Subject: RE: BS: Free The Upper Stoke One
From: GUEST,Chimpanzee X
Date: 25 Jun 09 - 10:48 AM

We are pleased to say that the raid carried out under cover of darkness at Bernard Matthews' Norfolk Estate has freed 500 chickens and five million turkeys. We believe Ginger to be one of the chooks, but there are so many of similar colour, we have sent them all, in a large crate to The Isle Of Grain. They should arrive by the weekend.

Subject: RE: BS: Free The Upper Stoke One
From: GUEST,Company Away Days
Date: 25 Jun 09 - 12:49 PM

Places on this year's Isle of Grain Conference 26 - 29 June 2009 are filling up. Please check this year's

guest list.

The theme has recently changed to poultry cookery. There will workshops on grilling, frying, barbecuing, roasting, rotisserie, fricassee and making stock.

To book your preferred workshop, email Nigella@fingerlicking_sexy.co.uk

Subject: RE: BS: Free The Upper Stoke One
From: Girl Friday
Date: 25 Jun 09 - 01:22 PM

My God ! Tom Lewis has changed since I last saw him !

Tom Lewis?

Subject: RE: BS: Free The Upper Stoke One
From: GUEST,Isle Of Grain Tourist Board
Date: 25 Jun 09 - 01:45 PM

We are very sorry but there is just not enough accommodation on Grain for all of these people. What is The BBC(In Association with Company Awaydays) thinking of? Leysdown Holiday Camp is fully booked through to end October. We had a sudden flurry of feathers....er....bookings yesterday. Already they are sleeping 500 turkeys to a room.

Subject: RE: BS: Free The Upper Stoke One
From: GUEST,Isle Of Grain Tourist Board
Date: 25 Jun 09 - 01:51 PM

Ok, so Leysdown is not on Isle Of Grain. Nothing is on Isle Of Grain except Kingsnorth Power Station, and All Hallows Caravan Park. No room for all those cooks there, either!

Subject: RE: BS: Free The Upper Stoke One
From: GUEST,Ex CompanyAwayDays employee
Date: 25 Jun 09 - 02:15 PM

The BBC is not sponsoring this event. They pay Jonathan Ross too much to afford it.

But they have given leave for We Are NOT ITV, Ltd. to pay for and arrange this little affair.

But it is a cunning trap. The plan is to knock off as many annoying, ranting, swearing, flirting, stuttering, word slurring gits in a I'm a Celebrity Chef Get Me Another Time Slot cum River Cottage cum Bushcraft, cum Bird Flu Culling documentary showdown as possible.

The accommodation will be self provided in the fields near Upper Stoke. Ray Mears is offering guidance in tent putting uppery.

I feel bad only for the chickens and turkeys. So I have joined Chicken RescueUsNow

Subject: RE: BS: Free The Upper Stoke One
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 26 Jun 09 - 03:25 AM

Kingsnorth power station is at Kingsnorth, which is not on the Isle of Grain.

Grain power station is at Grain, near Port Victoria, both of which are on the isle of Grain.

None of Upper Stoke, Middle Stoke, or Lower Stoke are on the Isle of Grain.

The AllHallows holiday camp is not on the Isle of Grain. It is the other side of the Yantlet, on what used to he AllHallows Marsh.

The Isle of Grain is the bit of the Hoo peninsula that used to be separated from the rest of the peninsula by Yantlet Creek/Yantlet Fleet.

Subject: RE: BS: Free The Upper Stoke One
From: GUEST,Billy Bull Frog.
Date: 26 Jun 09 - 03:42 PM

Whats the above thread got to do with the price of Eggs.

Subject: RE: BS: Free The Upper Stoke One
From: GUEST,one ton and two ton the siamise cats.
Date: 26 Jun 09 - 03:43 PM

Subject: RE: BS: Free The Upper Stoke One
From: GUEST,one ton and two tons the siamise cats
Date: 26 Jun 09 - 03:46 PM

Slorry Mr Moggerator Slip of the paw.
Whats that Mr Bridge harping on about we ought to push him in the river.

Subject: RE: BS: Free The Upper Stoke One
From: GUEST,Everhard the Ram.
Date: 26 Jun 09 - 03:58 PM

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa this supposed to be about the unjust murder of Raynard the Fox MMMMMMMMaaaaaaaaa Not the goegrapghy of the Isle of bloody Grain.MMMMMMMMaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa What are these Chimpanzee,s doing jumping on the band wagon.