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BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly

jeddy 20 Jun 09 - 04:34 PM
bseed(charleskratz) 20 Jun 09 - 04:27 PM
jacqui.c 20 Jun 09 - 03:46 PM
Peace 20 Jun 09 - 03:34 PM
Leadfingers 20 Jun 09 - 12:04 PM
Ebbie 20 Jun 09 - 12:00 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 20 Jun 09 - 11:53 AM
Charley Noble 20 Jun 09 - 11:17 AM
Rapparee 20 Jun 09 - 10:53 AM
bseed(charleskratz) 20 Jun 09 - 01:45 AM
Charley Noble 19 Jun 09 - 11:10 PM
gnu 19 Jun 09 - 07:21 PM
pdq 19 Jun 09 - 07:03 PM
jeddy 19 Jun 09 - 06:37 PM
Rapparee 19 Jun 09 - 04:33 PM
jeddy 19 Jun 09 - 04:28 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 19 Jun 09 - 04:16 PM
GUEST,Neil D 19 Jun 09 - 03:58 PM
Rapparee 19 Jun 09 - 03:29 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 19 Jun 09 - 10:26 AM
Jeri 19 Jun 09 - 09:42 AM
Rapparee 19 Jun 09 - 09:22 AM
gnu 19 Jun 09 - 05:49 AM
Peace 19 Jun 09 - 02:34 AM
Rapparee 18 Jun 09 - 11:53 PM
Bill D 18 Jun 09 - 10:23 PM
Ron Davies 18 Jun 09 - 09:33 PM
Bobert 18 Jun 09 - 07:49 PM
frogprince 18 Jun 09 - 07:40 PM
Leadfingers 18 Jun 09 - 07:39 PM
Peace 18 Jun 09 - 07:09 PM
Rapparee 18 Jun 09 - 07:06 PM
Peace 18 Jun 09 - 06:18 PM
GUEST,beardedbruce 18 Jun 09 - 06:14 PM
Don Firth 18 Jun 09 - 06:07 PM
Cool Beans 18 Jun 09 - 05:59 PM
Jeri 18 Jun 09 - 05:59 PM
Little Hawk 18 Jun 09 - 05:39 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 18 Jun 09 - 05:34 PM
Peace 18 Jun 09 - 05:27 PM
Lonesome EJ 18 Jun 09 - 05:26 PM
Jeri 18 Jun 09 - 05:24 PM
Peace 18 Jun 09 - 05:20 PM
Don Firth 18 Jun 09 - 05:18 PM
Peace 18 Jun 09 - 05:18 PM
Peace 18 Jun 09 - 05:16 PM
Peace 18 Jun 09 - 05:14 PM
Rapparee 18 Jun 09 - 05:04 PM
Becca72 18 Jun 09 - 04:56 PM
Don Firth 18 Jun 09 - 04:50 PM

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Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: jeddy
Date: 20 Jun 09 - 04:34 PM

peace you crack me up!!!   pmsl

take care

your freind always

jade x x


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Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: bseed(charleskratz)
Date: 20 Jun 09 - 04:27 PM

Ditty?

Charley, that's exalted odic poetry--sublime in form, gripping in imagery, a startling unity of subject and theme from the opening line to the final grisly stanza it is as perfect as its subject is disturbing.

Charles


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Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: jacqui.c
Date: 20 Jun 09 - 03:46 PM

LOL Peace.


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Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: Peace
Date: 20 Jun 09 - 03:34 PM

True story.

Years back when I was living in Edmonton, a housefly was buzzing around but not landing on food at the kitchen table or me. So, I decided--in a Zen moment (I was heavy into a martial art at the time)--to leave him alone if he left me alone. He did very well. Lasted for three days. On the third day something possessed him, and in the words of Jack Higgens, I said, "The Eagle Has Landed". However, I decided that it would insult the 'dignity' of death to kill him with anything less than a front kick, and so began the saga that lasted another two days. On day six of his brief yet shelterd life in that apartment he landed on the wall and I unleashed a kick of devastating power and lightning speed. He died. I had to then repair a hole in the drywall. It took about three weeks before my toe healed enough that I could walk without limping badly.

The next day at class, my Korean master inquired what had happened to my toe. I told him the brief story I related above. He nodded his head. The following day he called me over after class and gave me a small package. He presented it to me with a slight bow. I bowed deeper and left. I was quite excited and I opened it on the bus. It was a can of Raid.

The End


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Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: Leadfingers
Date: 20 Jun 09 - 12:04 PM

Little Fly upon the wall
Have you got no clothes at all ?
Have you got no mom or dad ?
Fly Bastard ! SPLAT !


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Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: Ebbie
Date: 20 Jun 09 - 12:00 PM

Checks and balances, perhaps?


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Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 20 Jun 09 - 11:53 AM

If it was God who made the fly,
Intelligent Design's a lie.

A fly is most unsanitary.
Who knows what ills a fly can carry?
A fly can take a dread disease
And spread it among Man with ease.

So, if Man holds a special station,
The pinnacle of God's Creation,
Then why, oh why, would God on high
Create the fly to make Man die?


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Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: Charley Noble
Date: 20 Jun 09 - 11:17 AM

I do like the Karl Shipiro ditty! Thanks for posting it.

This little Victorian ditty came from Songs for the Little Ones at Home, © 1852, p. 25-26:

'Twas God who made the little fly;
But if you pinch it, it will die!
My mother tells me, God has said
We must not hurt what God had made;
For God is very kind and good,
And gives e'en little flies their food;
And he loves every little child,
Who is kind-hearted, good, and mild.

It's a songbook with a great many such "treasures."

Cheerily,
Charley Noble


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Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Jun 09 - 10:53 AM

Flies are good. I like the Royal Coachman when you don't know what the hatch is. Poppers and spinners are good too, as are spoons. Sometimes I rig a spoon or a spinners with some bacon rind, or salmon eggs. But for a REALLY good time, you can't beat minnows or worms or best of all, good old home-made stinkbait.

I like to make stinkbait out of old raw liver, limburger cheese (if I can get it, otherwise some super-sharp cheddar will do as a distant second), and a drop of rancid fish oil. Put in enough flour of thicken it up good, knead it all together well, and leave it out in the sun for a couple days before using it. Don't open the container in the house or, perhaps especially, in the bar.


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Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: bseed(charleskratz)
Date: 20 Jun 09 - 01:45 AM

Here are three poets' views of the fly:


Ogden Nash

The Fly

God in his wisdom made the fly
And then forgot to tell us why.




William Blake

The Fly

Little Fly,
Thy summer's play
My thoughtless hand
Has brushed away.

Am not I
A fly like thee?
Or art not thou
A man like me?

For I dance
And drink, and sing,
Till some blind hand
Shall brush my wing.

If thought is life
And strength and breath
And the want
Of thought is death;

Then am I
A happy fly,
If I live,
Or if I die.


KARL SHAPIRO

The Fly

O hideous little bat, the size of snot,
With polyhedral eye and shabby clothes,
To populate the stinking cat you walk
The promontory of the dead man's nose,
Climb with the fine leg of a Duncan-Phyfe
   The smoking mountains of my food
      And in a comic mood
   In mid-air take to bed a wife.

Riding and riding with your filth of hair
On gluey foot or wing, forever coy,
Hot from the compost and green sweet decay,
Sounding your buzzer like an urchin toy—
You dot all whiteness with diminutive stool,
   In the tight belly of the dead
      Burrow with hungry head
   And inlay maggots like a jewel.

At your approach the great horse stomps and paws
Bringing the hurricane of his heavy tail;
Shod in disease you dare to kiss my hand
Which sweeps against you like an angry flail;
Still you return, return, trusting your wing
   To draw you from the hunter's reach
      That learns to kill to teach
   Disorder to the tinier thing.

My peace is your disaster. For your death
Children like spiders cup their pretty hands
And wives resort to chemistry of war.
In fens of sticky paper and quicksands
You glue yourself to death. Where you are stuck
   You struggle hideously and beg,
      You amputate your leg
   Imbedded in the amber muck.

But I, a man, must swat you with my hate,
Slap you across the air and crush your flight,
Must mangle with my shoe and smear your blood,
Expose your little guts pasty and white,
Knock your head sidewise like a drunkard's hat,
   Pin your wings under like a crow's,
      Tear off your flimsy clothes
   And beat you as one beats a rat.

Then like Gargantua I stride among
The corpses strewn like raisins in the dust,
The broken bodies of the narrow dead
That catch the throat with fingers of disgust.
I sweep. One gyrates like a top and falls
   And stunned, stone blind, and deaf
      Buzzes its frightful F
   And dies between three cannibals.


Charles


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Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: Charley Noble
Date: 19 Jun 09 - 11:10 PM

As I posted on a related thread:

Well, it's a good thing that Obama did not swallow that fly, or we'd be composing a commemorative ditty.

I know a President who swatted a fly,
Oh, my, he swatted a fly ––
The fly died!

Short ditty, long story!

Charley Noble


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Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: gnu
Date: 19 Jun 09 - 07:21 PM

Splat!
Oops.
PETA that!

A short poem by gnu.
If you don't like it,
Guess who.


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Subject: Lyr Add: NEVER SWAT A FLY
From: pdq
Date: 19 Jun 09 - 07:03 PM

Never Swat A Fly

Never swat a fly
He may love another fly
He may sit with her and sigh the way I do, with you

Never harm a flea
He may have a favourite she
That he bounces on his knee the way I do, with you

Never stop a bee if he is going anywhere
You may be concluding some terrific love affair.
Be careful!

Don't step on an ant
In the middle of a pant
He may want to but he can't the way I do, with you


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Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: jeddy
Date: 19 Jun 09 - 06:37 PM

i have always thought that they were well respected.
thankyou for bringing this to my attention, i will look into it

take acre all
jade x x


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Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Jun 09 - 04:33 PM

Do some research, Jeddy. PETA is a bunch of hypocrites.


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Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: jeddy
Date: 19 Jun 09 - 04:28 PM

hey bruce i will joinbut only if you post some posters that i can put in my window!!!!i am sure your' group will take over the world!!!!

peta are complete idiots over this, i wonder if they flea or worm their dogs and cats?
which would be worse, killing the fleas ticks and worms or having to pay the vet bills ehen your' pet gets really ill?

i'm glad you mentioned the mink leadfingers, they had no idea that they would destroy everthing they came accross, what kind of moron plans a rescue mission and doen't research what they are rescuing!!!

i did'nt know that peta put down alot of dogs if this is true then that is somewhat out of order.

i rescue spiders but have great fun hunting down the pesky flies, when they go too high so the dogs can't get them, in the caravan however the dogs are very successful, maybe we should be reported!!!

take care all

and please remember that all life is sacred, we should not be so glib about murder, now where is that fly swat????

jade x x


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Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 19 Jun 09 - 04:16 PM

Yes, Crabs Haiku are a lot like Crab Rangoon. Just substitute Kwell Ointment for the cream cheese.


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Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: GUEST,Neil D
Date: 19 Jun 09 - 03:58 PM

I'm attempting to start an organization entitled PETBL. I don't need any nay sayers getting all wiseguy about it. This is a serious attempt on my part to emulate PETA and do something good for the treatment of creatures on this Earth. NOW, who's with me?

People for the Ethical Treatment of
Baba Looey?
That's cool by me, Bruce.

From: Rapaire
Date: 19 Jun 09 - 09:22 AM

I'll join yours if you'll join mine: PETP.

People for the Ethical Treatment of People? I'll join.


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Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Jun 09 - 03:29 PM

Are Crabs Haiku anything like Crab Rangoon?


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Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 19 Jun 09 - 10:26 AM

Crabs: A Haiku

Genitalia
With crab lice infestation
Scratch, scratch, scratch, scratch, scratch


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Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: Jeri
Date: 19 Jun 09 - 09:42 AM

I'm not saying anything. I felt terrible after the dream-crushing of last night.

So you starting a catch-and-release program with you as the sanctuary? Are you writing a protest song? I can see the posters now: Say 'hello' to my leetle friends!

Don't you grumble
Don't you grouse
My best friend is a body louse
Oh babe, you better believe it's true
He's always here, even if he ain't as fun as you.

Take him for a walk
Don't need a leash, he's
From a homophilic species
Babe, you better believe it's true
He's always here, if he ain't as much fun as you

Don't you wash and don't you scratch
You might kill his babies before they hatch
...etc


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Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Jun 09 - 09:22 AM

I'll join yours if you'll join mine: PETP.


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Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: gnu
Date: 19 Jun 09 - 05:49 AM

People for the eating of tastey boiled lobsters? I'm in!


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Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: Peace
Date: 19 Jun 09 - 02:34 AM

I wrote to PETA to ask if this was true. Haven't heard back. Likely won't. I suggested--no, I said, "If it's true, then the fellow who said that should be let out alone." I'll let y'all know.

Now, one more time.

I'm attempting to start an organization entitled PETBL. I don't need any nay sayers getting all wiseguy about it. This is a serious attempt on my part to emulate PETA and do something good for the treatment of creatures on this Earth. NOW, who's with me?


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Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Jun 09 - 11:53 PM

If it tries to feed on ME while I'm still alive I'm going to try to kill it, or at least make it go away.

Then again, I don't want Obama or anyone else taking a swat at my fly.


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Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: Bill D
Date: 18 Jun 09 - 10:23 PM

reposting from a long ago thread:

"many years ago, I knew a woman who considered herself to be a 'Buhddist'...but was really trying to practice 'Jainism', which teaches reverence for all life..she even worried about eating eggs, and had to be sure they were unfertilized.....

well, she was noticed one day scooping up cockroaches in her kitchen,and, since she would not squash them or spray them, tossing them outside----into below freezing temperatures!

"All I'm doing is getting them out of my house", she said,"what God does with them after that is not my concern"......

my, the human mind can certainly create any rules it needs to justify whatever it feels like doing "


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Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: Ron Davies
Date: 18 Jun 09 - 09:33 PM

I can just hear the sighs of relief coming from Jon Stewart, Letterman etc.   As long as PETA and like groups are around they need never worry about material. Wonder if this will be a long-running gag.


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Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: Bobert
Date: 18 Jun 09 - 07:49 PM

Well, that's the last straw fir this ol' hillbilly...

Next time around I'll go with Sarah Palin...

(But, Bobert, she kills mooses...)

Anyone have piccures??? If not, it's Palin in '12...

B~


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Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: frogprince
Date: 18 Jun 09 - 07:40 PM

By the way, Peace: you identified those two crabs above as a male and a female; congratulations, you must have incredible eyesight. I thought a friend was good who said he could identify male moths by their little mothballs.


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Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: Leadfingers
Date: 18 Jun 09 - 07:39 PM

In UK we have Animal Liberation Front - If you think PETA are loonies . try the clots who released a few hundred MINK into the wild !!


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Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: Peace
Date: 18 Jun 09 - 07:09 PM

Too late now, Rapaire. My dream is crushed.


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Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Jun 09 - 07:06 PM

I just wanted to know what the "C" was for.

PETC beats the others cold,
PETC pours it on.


PETC-cola's up to date
With modern folks who want to mate
We've made it light and dry for you,
Refleshs without killing, too!


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Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: Peace
Date: 18 Jun 09 - 06:18 PM

OK. I give up. It's easy to see that PETC will never take off. So much for "support on Mudcat". Bah. Humbug.


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Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: GUEST,beardedbruce
Date: 18 Jun 09 - 06:14 PM

Cool Beans,

I think these are the lyrics you are looking for:


Never swat a fly, he may love another fly
He may sit with her and sigh the way I do with you
Never harm a flea, he may have a favourite she
That he bounces on his knee the way I do with you
Never stop a moth when he is gliding through the air
He may have a date in someone's flannel underware
Ah ah be carefull
Never spray a nit with a great big can of blitz
He may think some nit has it the way I do with you


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Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: Don Firth
Date: 18 Jun 09 - 06:07 PM

Anybody see the "The Fly"—that is, the original one in 1958, with Vincent Price? No, not the 1986 remake with Jeff Goldblum.

I can't help but keep hearing that teeny, tiny, high pitched little voice crying

Help me! Help me! Please! Help me!

CLICKY. And move the slider up to 5:00 for the relevant part.

Don Firth


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Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: Cool Beans
Date: 18 Jun 09 - 05:59 PM

I was going to post the words to "Never Swat a Fly" (1930) but they're nowhere to be found on Mudcat. Let's see what I can remember...

Never swat a fly
He may have another fly
He may sit with her and sigh
The way I do with you.

Never harm a flea
He may have a favorite she
That he bounces on his knee
The way I do with you.

Never harm a bee if he is going anywhere
You may be concluding some terrific insect love affair.
Be careful.

Don't step on an ant
In the middle of a plant
He may want to but he can't
The way I do with you.


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Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: Jeri
Date: 18 Jun 09 - 05:59 PM

Wrong state, Mr Kanadian Krab Killer.

(I didn't know the ice pick and the flame thrower came with labels!)

I had a chameleon that used to keep the stupid flies for pets. Starved to death. Personally, I usually take the big spiders outside and let them go. Their chance of survival greatly increases based on how big a splat they'll make if I smoosh them. I used to be a little arachnophobic, but I can deal with the little 8 eyed darlings now.

The thing PETA have got to figure out is when they need to stop being offended so that people don't laugh at them. Then again, where would be the fun in that?


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Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Jun 09 - 05:39 PM

I used to catch flies live with one hand. It required careful stalking, positioning the hand just ahead of the fly wherever he was sitting, then a sudden sweeping grab. The fly MUST move slightly forward as he takes off. If you're fast enough, the fly ends up enclosed but unharmed inside your closed fist.

I would then feed the little rascal to my pet chameleons by putting him in their cage. ;-) They will only eat live food.

So let's see if PETA gets upset about that too...and if they do?

TOO F-in' BAD!!! ;-) Bite me, PETA!


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Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 18 Jun 09 - 05:34 PM

Mice caught in "humane" traps and released will either find their way back to your house, or find their way to somebody else's house. Once they've learned to associate human habitation with food, there's no going back to scrounging through leaf litter looking for whatever the squirrels haven't found.

You can make pets out of 'em, or you can kill 'em. Relocation just doesn't work.


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Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: Peace
Date: 18 Jun 09 - 05:27 PM

I object most strenuously to the heartless lady from Maine's statement. I killed perhaps ten to fifteen thousand crabs, but I was only following label directions.


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Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 18 Jun 09 - 05:26 PM

From Annie Hall I believe. Annie has asked Woody Allen's character to come to her apartment because there is a spider in the bathtub. As he prepares to swat it with a rolled up newspaper, she pleads "don't kill it!"
And he replies "what do you want me to do, capture it and rehabilitate it?"
One of my favorite lines. God save us all from zealots of all stripe.


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Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: Jeri
Date: 18 Jun 09 - 05:24 PM

Peace, you've undoubtedly overdone the whole guilt thing about crabs and are doing penance. I think you've confessed to having killed millions of them. I think you must dream of zombie crabs coming to drag you and your nether regions into some as yet un-dreamed of circle of Hell (or maybe a rhombus of hell) that involves itching instead of burning, freezing or listening to Barry Manilow.

I feel pity for you. You and your false pro-crab righteousness.
FEH!


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Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: Peace
Date: 18 Jun 09 - 05:20 PM

or OURS. Have you people no hearts?


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Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: Don Firth
Date: 18 Jun 09 - 05:18 PM

Inquiring minds want to know.

Did he bury the fly with full military honors?

Did he wash his hands?

Don Firth


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Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: Peace
Date: 18 Jun 09 - 05:18 PM

or HERS


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Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: Peace
Date: 18 Jun 09 - 05:16 PM

WHAT ABOUT HIS RIGHTS?


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Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: Peace
Date: 18 Jun 09 - 05:14 PM

Piss on you folks, then. Here I am tryna get an organization off the ground and what friggin' help do I get? CRABS have rights too, ya know.


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Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Jun 09 - 05:04 PM

So the President knew that that poor housefly would never find a home as a pet, so he euthanized it.


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Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: Becca72
Date: 18 Jun 09 - 04:56 PM

PETA also euthanizes something like 86% of the animals they take in. They feel that it's more humane to kill them than to make them stay in shelters while waiting for a permanent home. These people are a bunch of morons. I don't trust any organization that lets Pam Anderson speak for them.


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Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: Don Firth
Date: 18 Jun 09 - 04:50 PM

I don't think that there are any comedians around who could think up something this incredibly stupid! So it has to be real.

Like . . . the fly is an endangered species?

So PETA is located in Virginia, eh? Is the housefly the Virginia State Bird or something??

Don Firth


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