BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly

Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Jun 09 - 07:06 PM

I just wanted to know what the "C" was for.

PETC beats the others cold,
PETC pours it on.


PETC-cola's up to date
With modern folks who want to mate
We've made it light and dry for you,
Refleshs without killing, too!

Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: Peace
Date: 18 Jun 09 - 07:09 PM

Too late now, Rapaire. My dream is crushed.

Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: Leadfingers
Date: 18 Jun 09 - 07:39 PM

In UK we have Animal Liberation Front - If you think PETA are loonies . try the clots who released a few hundred MINK into the wild !!

Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: frogprince
Date: 18 Jun 09 - 07:40 PM

By the way, Peace: you identified those two crabs above as a male and a female; congratulations, you must have incredible eyesight. I thought a friend was good who said he could identify male moths by their little mothballs.

Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: Bobert
Date: 18 Jun 09 - 07:49 PM

Well, that's the last straw fir this ol' hillbilly...

Next time around I'll go with Sarah Palin...

(But, Bobert, she kills mooses...)

Anyone have piccures??? If not, it's Palin in '12...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: Ron Davies
Date: 18 Jun 09 - 09:33 PM

I can just hear the sighs of relief coming from Jon Stewart, Letterman etc.   As long as PETA and like groups are around they need never worry about material. Wonder if this will be a long-running gag.

Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: Bill D
Date: 18 Jun 09 - 10:23 PM

reposting from a long ago thread:

"many years ago, I knew a woman who considered herself to be a 'Buhddist'...but was really trying to practice 'Jainism', which teaches reverence for all life..she even worried about eating eggs, and had to be sure they were unfertilized.....

well, she was noticed one day scooping up cockroaches in her kitchen,and, since she would not squash them or spray them, tossing them outside----into below freezing temperatures!

"All I'm doing is getting them out of my house", she said,"what God does with them after that is not my concern"......

my, the human mind can certainly create any rules it needs to justify whatever it feels like doing "

Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Jun 09 - 11:53 PM

If it tries to feed on ME while I'm still alive I'm going to try to kill it, or at least make it go away.

Then again, I don't want Obama or anyone else taking a swat at my fly.

Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: Peace
Date: 19 Jun 09 - 02:34 AM

I wrote to PETA to ask if this was true. Haven't heard back. Likely won't. I suggested--no, I said, "If it's true, then the fellow who said that should be let out alone." I'll let y'all know.

Now, one more time.

I'm attempting to start an organization entitled PETBL. I don't need any nay sayers getting all wiseguy about it. This is a serious attempt on my part to emulate PETA and do something good for the treatment of creatures on this Earth. NOW, who's with me?

Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: gnu
Date: 19 Jun 09 - 05:49 AM

People for the eating of tastey boiled lobsters? I'm in!

Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Jun 09 - 09:22 AM

I'll join yours if you'll join mine: PETP.

Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: Jeri
Date: 19 Jun 09 - 09:42 AM

I'm not saying anything. I felt terrible after the dream-crushing of last night.

So you starting a catch-and-release program with you as the sanctuary? Are you writing a protest song? I can see the posters now: Say 'hello' to my leetle friends!

Don't you grumble
Don't you grouse
My best friend is a body louse
Oh babe, you better believe it's true
He's always here, even if he ain't as fun as you.

Take him for a walk
Don't need a leash, he's
From a homophilic species
Babe, you better believe it's true
He's always here, if he ain't as much fun as you

Don't you wash and don't you scratch
You might kill his babies before they hatch
...etc

Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 19 Jun 09 - 10:26 AM

Crabs: A Haiku

Genitalia
With crab lice infestation
Scratch, scratch, scratch, scratch, scratch

Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Jun 09 - 03:29 PM

Are Crabs Haiku anything like Crab Rangoon?

Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: GUEST,Neil D
Date: 19 Jun 09 - 03:58 PM

I'm attempting to start an organization entitled PETBL. I don't need any nay sayers getting all wiseguy about it. This is a serious attempt on my part to emulate PETA and do something good for the treatment of creatures on this Earth. NOW, who's with me?

People for the Ethical Treatment of
Baba Looey?
That's cool by me, Bruce.

From: Rapaire
Date: 19 Jun 09 - 09:22 AM

I'll join yours if you'll join mine: PETP.

People for the Ethical Treatment of People? I'll join.

Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 19 Jun 09 - 04:16 PM

Yes, Crabs Haiku are a lot like Crab Rangoon. Just substitute Kwell Ointment for the cream cheese.

Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: jeddy
Date: 19 Jun 09 - 04:28 PM

hey bruce i will joinbut only if you post some posters that i can put in my window!!!!i am sure your' group will take over the world!!!!

peta are complete idiots over this, i wonder if they flea or worm their dogs and cats?
which would be worse, killing the fleas ticks and worms or having to pay the vet bills ehen your' pet gets really ill?

i'm glad you mentioned the mink leadfingers, they had no idea that they would destroy everthing they came accross, what kind of moron plans a rescue mission and doen't research what they are rescuing!!!

i did'nt know that peta put down alot of dogs if this is true then that is somewhat out of order.

i rescue spiders but have great fun hunting down the pesky flies, when they go too high so the dogs can't get them, in the caravan however the dogs are very successful, maybe we should be reported!!!

take care all

and please remember that all life is sacred, we should not be so glib about murder, now where is that fly swat????

jade x x

Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Jun 09 - 04:33 PM

Do some research, Jeddy. PETA is a bunch of hypocrites.

Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: jeddy
Date: 19 Jun 09 - 06:37 PM

i have always thought that they were well respected.
thankyou for bringing this to my attention, i will look into it

take acre all
jade x x

Subject: Lyr Add: NEVER SWAT A FLY
From: pdq
Date: 19 Jun 09 - 07:03 PM

Never Swat A Fly

Never swat a fly
He may love another fly
He may sit with her and sigh the way I do, with you

Never harm a flea
He may have a favourite she
That he bounces on his knee the way I do, with you

Never stop a bee if he is going anywhere
You may be concluding some terrific love affair.
Be careful!

Don't step on an ant
In the middle of a pant
He may want to but he can't the way I do, with you

Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: gnu
Date: 19 Jun 09 - 07:21 PM

Splat!
Oops.
PETA that!

A short poem by gnu.
If you don't like it,
Guess who.

Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: Charley Noble
Date: 19 Jun 09 - 11:10 PM

As I posted on a related thread:

Well, it's a good thing that Obama did not swallow that fly, or we'd be composing a commemorative ditty.

I know a President who swatted a fly,
Oh, my, he swatted a fly ––
The fly died!

Short ditty, long story!

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: bseed(charleskratz)
Date: 20 Jun 09 - 01:45 AM

Here are three poets' views of the fly:


Ogden Nash

The Fly

God in his wisdom made the fly
And then forgot to tell us why.




William Blake

The Fly

Little Fly,
Thy summer's play
My thoughtless hand
Has brushed away.

Am not I
A fly like thee?
Or art not thou
A man like me?

For I dance
And drink, and sing,
Till some blind hand
Shall brush my wing.

If thought is life
And strength and breath
And the want
Of thought is death;

Then am I
A happy fly,
If I live,
Or if I die.


KARL SHAPIRO

The Fly

O hideous little bat, the size of snot,
With polyhedral eye and shabby clothes,
To populate the stinking cat you walk
The promontory of the dead man's nose,
Climb with the fine leg of a Duncan-Phyfe
   The smoking mountains of my food
      And in a comic mood
   In mid-air take to bed a wife.

Riding and riding with your filth of hair
On gluey foot or wing, forever coy,
Hot from the compost and green sweet decay,
Sounding your buzzer like an urchin toy—
You dot all whiteness with diminutive stool,
   In the tight belly of the dead
      Burrow with hungry head
   And inlay maggots like a jewel.

At your approach the great horse stomps and paws
Bringing the hurricane of his heavy tail;
Shod in disease you dare to kiss my hand
Which sweeps against you like an angry flail;
Still you return, return, trusting your wing
   To draw you from the hunter's reach
      That learns to kill to teach
   Disorder to the tinier thing.

My peace is your disaster. For your death
Children like spiders cup their pretty hands
And wives resort to chemistry of war.
In fens of sticky paper and quicksands
You glue yourself to death. Where you are stuck
   You struggle hideously and beg,
      You amputate your leg
   Imbedded in the amber muck.

But I, a man, must swat you with my hate,
Slap you across the air and crush your flight,
Must mangle with my shoe and smear your blood,
Expose your little guts pasty and white,
Knock your head sidewise like a drunkard's hat,
   Pin your wings under like a crow's,
      Tear off your flimsy clothes
   And beat you as one beats a rat.

Then like Gargantua I stride among
The corpses strewn like raisins in the dust,
The broken bodies of the narrow dead
That catch the throat with fingers of disgust.
I sweep. One gyrates like a top and falls
   And stunned, stone blind, and deaf
      Buzzes its frightful F
   And dies between three cannibals.


Charles

Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Jun 09 - 10:53 AM

Flies are good. I like the Royal Coachman when you don't know what the hatch is. Poppers and spinners are good too, as are spoons. Sometimes I rig a spoon or a spinners with some bacon rind, or salmon eggs. But for a REALLY good time, you can't beat minnows or worms or best of all, good old home-made stinkbait.

I like to make stinkbait out of old raw liver, limburger cheese (if I can get it, otherwise some super-sharp cheddar will do as a distant second), and a drop of rancid fish oil. Put in enough flour of thicken it up good, knead it all together well, and leave it out in the sun for a couple days before using it. Don't open the container in the house or, perhaps especially, in the bar.

Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: Charley Noble
Date: 20 Jun 09 - 11:17 AM

I do like the Karl Shipiro ditty! Thanks for posting it.

This little Victorian ditty came from Songs for the Little Ones at Home, © 1852, p. 25-26:

'Twas God who made the little fly;
But if you pinch it, it will die!
My mother tells me, God has said
We must not hurt what God had made;
For God is very kind and good,
And gives e'en little flies their food;
And he loves every little child,
Who is kind-hearted, good, and mild.

It's a songbook with a great many such "treasures."

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 20 Jun 09 - 11:53 AM

If it was God who made the fly,
Intelligent Design's a lie.

A fly is most unsanitary.
Who knows what ills a fly can carry?
A fly can take a dread disease
And spread it among Man with ease.

So, if Man holds a special station,
The pinnacle of God's Creation,
Then why, oh why, would God on high
Create the fly to make Man die?

Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: Ebbie
Date: 20 Jun 09 - 12:00 PM

Checks and balances, perhaps?

Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: Leadfingers
Date: 20 Jun 09 - 12:04 PM

Little Fly upon the wall
Have you got no clothes at all ?
Have you got no mom or dad ?
Fly Bastard ! SPLAT !

Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: Peace
Date: 20 Jun 09 - 03:34 PM

True story.

Years back when I was living in Edmonton, a housefly was buzzing around but not landing on food at the kitchen table or me. So, I decided--in a Zen moment (I was heavy into a martial art at the time)--to leave him alone if he left me alone. He did very well. Lasted for three days. On the third day something possessed him, and in the words of Jack Higgens, I said, "The Eagle Has Landed". However, I decided that it would insult the 'dignity' of death to kill him with anything less than a front kick, and so began the saga that lasted another two days. On day six of his brief yet shelterd life in that apartment he landed on the wall and I unleashed a kick of devastating power and lightning speed. He died. I had to then repair a hole in the drywall. It took about three weeks before my toe healed enough that I could walk without limping badly.

The next day at class, my Korean master inquired what had happened to my toe. I told him the brief story I related above. He nodded his head. The following day he called me over after class and gave me a small package. He presented it to me with a slight bow. I bowed deeper and left. I was quite excited and I opened it on the bus. It was a can of Raid.

The End

Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: jacqui.c
Date: 20 Jun 09 - 03:46 PM

LOL Peace.

Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: bseed(charleskratz)
Date: 20 Jun 09 - 04:27 PM

Ditty?

Charley, that's exalted odic poetry--sublime in form, gripping in imagery, a startling unity of subject and theme from the opening line to the final grisly stanza it is as perfect as its subject is disturbing.

Charles

Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: jeddy
Date: 20 Jun 09 - 04:34 PM

peace you crack me up!!!   pmsl

take care

your freind always

jade x x

Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: Don Firth
Date: 20 Jun 09 - 04:38 PM

Great, Peace!! I gotta pass that along. That's too good!!

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: Charley Noble
Date: 20 Jun 09 - 10:44 PM

Charles-

You wouldn't believe the songs included in Songs for the Little Ones at Home. There's one about the mother who feeds her baby to the crocodile, and if we'd only send the bible there pronto she'd spare the little tyke:

Send, oh, send the bible there,
Let its precepts reach the heart;
She man then her children spare,
Act the mother's tender part!

Now that's a disturbing image!

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Jun 09 - 10:59 AM

I like "Ruthless Rhymes For Heartless Homes":

Willy, with a taste for gore,
Nailed his sister to the floor.
Mother said, with humor quaint,
"Careful Will, don't spoil the paint."

or

Into the well
That the plumber built her
Aunt Eliza fell.
We must buy a filter.

Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: Ebbie
Date: 21 Jun 09 - 11:35 AM

"Daddy, why can't I go out and play like everyone else?"

"Shut up and deal!"

Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Jun 09 - 12:21 PM

"Mrs Jones, Mrs Jones! Can Bobby come out and play baseball?"
"Now, you boys know he doesn't have any arms or legs."
"Yes'm, but we want him for first base."

Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Jun 09 - 12:28 PM

"Tommy, did you and Daddy have a good time while I gone?"
"Oh yes, Mommy! Daddy took me swimming in the lake every day!"
"Really? You're pretty little. Wasn't that hard?"
"No, Mommy, not after I'd get out of the sack."

Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: Charley Noble
Date: 21 Jun 09 - 05:47 PM

Rapaire-

Very true but these are contemporary verses. Songs for the Little Ones at Home is sequestered in the early Victorian period, which gives it its own special edge.

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Jun 09 - 08:20 PM

My copy of "Ruthless Rhymes" is a reprint, but the original American publication date is 1901, the first edition (English) was 1899. It's been published several times since and, I suspect, some verses added.

Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: open mike
Date: 21 Jun 09 - 09:43 PM

the early bird gets the worm
but the second mouse gets the cheese

Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Jun 09 - 10:08 PM

Young bull, standing on a hillside looking at herd of cows below: "Let's run down a do a couple of those cows!"

Old bull, standing next to him: "Let's WALK down and do ALL the cows."

Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Jun 09 - 11:46 PM

If I get a chance I'll dig out some of the god-awful stuff I inherited from my great-great-Aunt Tilly.

Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: Cool Beans
Date: 22 Jun 09 - 12:39 PM

Lenny Bruce used to do a riff on flies. People always complain, he would say, that flies carry disease. My sister gave two guys the clap and nobody hit her with a rolled-up newspaper.

Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: gnu
Date: 22 Jun 09 - 03:54 PM

Rapaire... on The Mighty Miramichi, the Green Machine rules.

Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: gnu
Date: 22 Jun 09 - 03:59 PM

Now, Ted Williams gave me a Brown Bomber in low, hot water, but I can't find a good pic of it. This comes close. But, there was no reddish on his. It was Whitetail tail. And, the hook size was larger.

Worked well, but I never hooked a grilse on it.

Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Jun 09 - 06:42 PM

Well, of course not. To hook girls you need things besides a hook and some fuzzy stuff. Maybe dinner, a show, some drinks afterwards....

(Your spelling needs work, man.)

Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: Don(Wyziwyg)T
Date: 22 Jun 09 - 07:01 PM

It's a vile slander. This is not Geedubya Warmonger we're talking about.

That nice Barack Obama simply used his far superior hand eye co-ordination (those who've seen GW stumbling around know what I mean)to knock the little bastard unconscious long enough to complete the interview without interruption.

Simple good manners really.

I saw the TV close-up of that fly, and it was definitely still breathing.

Don T.

Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: Peace
Date: 22 Jun 09 - 07:16 PM

Don is correct. The fly then flew away when the cameras were turned off. In fact, a friend of mine sent me this picture of that VERY SAME FLY which landed on the roof of his house in a location that will remain unnamed. The still-living fly that was barely touched by President Obama. The veracity of that picture was sworn and attested to by four guys I know named Dave, Alan, Leroy and Wu.

Subject: RE: BS: PETA looking foolish over a fly
From: Leadfingers
Date: 22 Jun 09 - 08:01 PM

100