Lyr Req: The Dog in the Microwave (Ken Johnson)

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: dog in a microwave
From: Artful Codger
Date: 01 Jul 09 - 04:59 PM

Another dog-in-a-microwave song is Uncle Bonsai's "Big Chihuahua" (The world is a big chihuahua / that's been put in the microwave...), a song they did in imitation of The Roches. Terrific harmonies.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: dog in a microwave
From: Gurney
Date: 01 Jul 09 - 12:52 AM

Jeddy, Pete is from Coventry, England, and Robym and I are in New Zealand, so we only see Pete when he takes the opportunity to have a summer break in the English winter, as he has done several times.

Effsee, it isn't doggeral, it is doggerel, but I'm just being dogmatic.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: dog in a microwave
From: Effsee
Date: 30 Jun 09 - 11:19 PM

Doggeral!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: dog in a microwave
From: jeddy
Date: 30 Jun 09 - 08:39 PM

thanks again if you see him could you record him doing it and put it on youtube for me PLEASE????

please pete i love it and cannot find it

take care all

jade x x

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: dog in a microwave
From: GUEST,Little Robyn
Date: 30 Jun 09 - 03:49 PM

OK so Pete didn't write it. But he sings it luverly!
Robyn

Subject: Lyr Add: THE DOG IN THE MICROWAVE (Ken Johnson)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 30 Jun 09 - 01:39 PM

Copied from the website of The Arizona Irish Music Society:


THE DOG IN THE MICROWAVE
Words, Ken Johnson. Tune, "The Lincolnshire Poacher"

There was a wife of Lincolnshire. To market she did go.
She took her dog for company across the ice and snow.
Returning from the market, they were drenched in freezing rain,
So she put the dog in the microwave to dry him out again,
So she put the dog in the microwave to dry him out again.

A passer-by saw the cloud of smoke and fetched the Fire Brigade.
The firemen cried, "Don't panic! We are here to give you aid.
No need to make a statement, for we know what you will say:
Oh, you put your dog in the microwave—the second one today."
Oh, she put her dog in the microwave—the second one today.

A veterinary surgeon had an office on the street.
The wife begged him to resurrect the blackened lump of meat.
The surgeon started laughing. He guffawed, "This dog is wrecked.
If you put a dog in the microwave, what else do you expect?
If you put a dog in the microwave, what else do you expect?"

Her husband came from the office, calling, "Honey, here I am.
Your cooking smells delicious. Is it chicken, pork or lamb?"
The wife began to tremble, and a tear came to her eye.
"Oh, I put the dog in the microwave, just like a slice of pie."
Oh, she put the dog in the microwave, just like a slice of pie.

The neighbours were inquisitive, and tactlessly inquired,
"We haven't seen your doggy. Has he recently expired?"
The wife was shaking terribly, and she began to howl,
"Oh, I put the dog in the microwave. I should have used a towel."
Oh, she put the dog in the microwave. She should have used a towel.

She went to visit a medium, who charged a hefty fee.
She said, "We must communicate; the dog was dear to me."
An ectoplasm dog appeared and, wailing like a ghost,
Said, "You put the dog in the microwave and frazzled it to toast."
Oh, she put the dog in the microwave and frazzled it to toast.

She sued the manufacturers whose oven she had bought.
"These ovens are too dangerous," she sobbed in open court.
"You didn't read the manual," the lawyers said. "Just see:
If you put a dog in the microwave, it voids the guarantee.
If you put a dog in the microwave, it voids the guarantee."

The whole affair was featured on the early evening news.
The SSPCA complained of grievous dog abuse.
The China correspondent sent a simple message back:
"If you put a dog in the microwave, it makes a healthy snack.
If you put a dog in the microwave, it makes a healthy snack."

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: dog in a microwave
From: GUEST,Bob L
Date: 29 Jun 09 - 10:17 AM

You'll find the words, with Ken Johnson given as the author, at http://www.azirishmusic.com/songs/d03.htm.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: dog in a microwave
From: jeddy
Date: 29 Jun 09 - 06:28 AM

thankyou i will see whether i can find anything on youtube or something

take care

jade x x x x x x x x

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: dog in a microwave
From: Gurney
Date: 29 Jun 09 - 03:35 AM

He records under his own name and as the melodeonist in Aardvark Ceildh Band.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: dog in a microwave
From: GUEST,Little Robyn
Date: 29 Jun 09 - 03:16 AM

Pete Grassby is the bloke you want. He wrote it and he sings it. 'The wife of Lincoln' is it's name.
There doesn't seem to be a recording of it except for the concert at Lyttelton during the Northumbrian Piper's tour of New Zealand in 2005 which Francis Wood recorded. Francis is somewhere in London, I believe.
Robyn

Subject: Lyr Req: dog in a microwave
From: jeddy
Date: 28 Jun 09 - 09:24 PM

i am wondering whether any has got a decent recording of the bloke who sings this at upton folk festival.

it's a great song and i would love to be able to listen to it but i can't find it.

if you put the dog in a microwave it voids the garentee(?)

thank you in advance

take care all

jade x x