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The re-Imagined Village

Related threads:
BS: WalkaboutsVerse Anew (1193)
The Weekly Walkabout cum Talkabout (380)
The Weekly Walkabout (part 2.) (1465) (closed)
The Weekly Walkabout (273) (closed)
Walkaboutsverse (989) (closed)


Crow Sister (off with the fairies) 01 Aug 09 - 04:36 AM
Jack Blandiver 01 Aug 09 - 04:22 AM
Crow Sister (off with the fairies) 01 Aug 09 - 04:12 AM
Crow Sister (off with the fairies) 01 Aug 09 - 03:55 AM
Jack Blandiver 01 Aug 09 - 03:42 AM
Spleen Cringe 31 Jul 09 - 07:39 PM
Spleen Cringe 31 Jul 09 - 07:31 PM
Jack Blandiver 31 Jul 09 - 07:22 PM
Spleen Cringe 31 Jul 09 - 05:40 PM
WalkaboutsVerse 31 Jul 09 - 04:52 PM
Jack Blandiver 31 Jul 09 - 04:01 PM
Spleen Cringe 31 Jul 09 - 01:35 PM
WalkaboutsVerse 31 Jul 09 - 12:39 PM
Stu 31 Jul 09 - 10:41 AM
Jack Blandiver 31 Jul 09 - 10:12 AM
Jack Blandiver 31 Jul 09 - 10:08 AM
Stu 31 Jul 09 - 09:43 AM
Jack Blandiver 31 Jul 09 - 09:20 AM
Crow Sister (off with the fairies) 31 Jul 09 - 08:07 AM
Jack Blandiver 31 Jul 09 - 07:34 AM
Jack Blandiver 31 Jul 09 - 07:30 AM
WalkaboutsVerse 31 Jul 09 - 06:28 AM
Crow Sister (off with the fairies) 31 Jul 09 - 05:08 AM
Jack Blandiver 31 Jul 09 - 04:44 AM
open mike 30 Jul 09 - 09:03 PM
glueman 30 Jul 09 - 04:32 PM
WalkaboutsVerse 30 Jul 09 - 03:15 PM
Spleen Cringe 30 Jul 09 - 02:33 PM
Stu 30 Jul 09 - 01:38 PM
WalkaboutsVerse 30 Jul 09 - 12:52 PM
Sailor Ron 30 Jul 09 - 11:32 AM
Jack Blandiver 30 Jul 09 - 07:42 AM
Stu 30 Jul 09 - 07:32 AM
Phil Edwards 30 Jul 09 - 06:22 AM
Jack Blandiver 30 Jul 09 - 05:03 AM
WalkaboutsVerse 30 Jul 09 - 04:25 AM
Phil Edwards 29 Jul 09 - 05:46 PM
glueman 29 Jul 09 - 05:42 PM
Sue Allan 29 Jul 09 - 05:33 PM
Spleen Cringe 29 Jul 09 - 05:20 PM
Crow Sister (off with the fairies) 29 Jul 09 - 04:44 PM
Crow Sister (off with the fairies) 29 Jul 09 - 04:33 PM
Sue Allan 29 Jul 09 - 04:24 PM
Crow Sister (off with the fairies) 29 Jul 09 - 04:03 PM
Spleen Cringe 29 Jul 09 - 03:49 PM
theleveller 29 Jul 09 - 03:45 PM
Crow Sister (off with the fairies) 29 Jul 09 - 03:03 PM
glueman 29 Jul 09 - 02:30 PM
Crow Sister (off with the fairies) 29 Jul 09 - 02:01 PM
Crow Sister (off with the fairies) 29 Jul 09 - 02:00 PM
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Subject: RE: The re-Imagined Village
From: Crow Sister (off with the fairies)
Date: 01 Aug 09 - 04:36 AM

Coffee & browsing while waiting for my young man to raise his sleepy self this morn. And this threads just given me an excuse to revisit Goodbye, Mr. Chips which it seems you can watch all of on YouTube.


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Subject: RE: The re-Imagined Village
From: Jack Blandiver
Date: 01 Aug 09 - 04:22 AM

Have a care there, CS - it's just gone nine in the fecking morning & the most I can think of at this ungodly hour is a slice of my Patented Porridge Turnover (which I no longer make as a dome BTW; since investing in a silicon loaf-cake thing which gives me oblongs...).

I will return to your links later in the day when I have more of stomach for them. And don't you just love the graphics of Food in England? That's how folk albums should look too; wholesome & homely!


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Subject: RE: The re-Imagined Village
From: Crow Sister (off with the fairies)
Date: 01 Aug 09 - 04:12 AM

Here WAV, see the perfect page for any wannabe Englishman come foodie below:

If I buy 'cake' from the bakers, I always get those leaden bricks of sugar encrusted Bread Pudding. You can use leftovers to shore up your homes foundations. Or sometimes Lardy Cake which is a sweet yeast dough *folded* with crushed sugar lumps, currants and err lard oddly enough.

For my sins I also have Dorothy Hartley's (you couldn't make a name that that up) Food in England


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Subject: RE: The re-Imagined Village
From: Crow Sister (off with the fairies)
Date: 01 Aug 09 - 03:55 AM

I see I'm not keeping up with the upbeat pace of things going on in the village here - but some late submissions for the village hall film club:

Entertaining Mr. Sloane
Nuts in May
And anything by Dennis Potter


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Subject: RE: The re-Imagined Village
From: Jack Blandiver
Date: 01 Aug 09 - 03:42 AM

Sheffield synth-pop wonks the Human League also did a version of the Get Carter dee-dee music on their excellent 1982 album Dare.

Not being familiar with the works of the Human League (sadly I lost touch after Empire State Human), I mentioned this to my wife Rapunzel, who is very much in touch with the Human League. Off she goes to her vinyl shelf & pulls out a pristine copy of Dare - a classic piece of 1980s graphic design (which sadly so many Folk artistes would attempt to imitate with but frail irony) and soon the house is thrilling to the sublime synth-pop glories of another age. The great thing is Rapunzel was only eight-years-old when she bought this album! A true English sound and an instant icon of the shelf - along with Seamus Ennis's Bonny Bunch of Roses (which is how a folk album should look!), Peter Maxwell Davis' Eight songs for a Mad King and the first Back Door album with its iconic image of the Lion Inn on Blakey Ridge. Also in there is the Bananas single, recorded by the Manband live at The Roundhouse at the same gig that provided the live sides of Back into the Future:   

Cultural Icons - 1st August 2009

*

"Baby's head with the helmet on."

I love steak & kidney puddings, but for reasons of health find I must now abstain, though here in Fleetwood we have one of the finest chippies in the county, offering sit down facilities, with both Holland's and home-mades on the menu at prices so keen one might only resist for so long. Time to throw caution to the wind I think!

*

One of the things we can surely agree on, S.

Hmmmm. We're offering you an education here, WAV - a crash-course in Englishness in which, I'm afraid, you're in no position to disagree. You are a novitiate, as can be shown from your somewhat wayward posts on the subject over the years of which the OP is typical. All you have to do is sit back and soak in these cultural offerings as being essential to the Engish Scheme to which you aspire. So a little less recalcitrance in future; people are giving of their time freely here, to ensue your repatriation is a happy one, so try and show some appreciation, eh?


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Subject: RE: The re-Imagined Village
From: Spleen Cringe
Date: 31 Jul 09 - 07:39 PM

Manchester Tart for me! A school dinner staple.

Here's a recipe

And here's the posh version. They'd serve it like this up at the manor house. Incidently, who's going to live there? I'd recommend Peter Cushing or Christopher Lee.


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Subject: RE: The re-Imagined Village
From: Spleen Cringe
Date: 31 Jul 09 - 07:31 PM

Erm... "Baby's head with the helmet on."

Otherwise known as steak and kidney pudding in a little foil tray.


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Subject: RE: The re-Imagined Village
From: Jack Blandiver
Date: 31 Jul 09 - 07:22 PM

Babs yed wi thelmet

Try Googling that and see where it gets you. Unless we're back in the land of Tripe & Puro begad in which case a translation would be appreciated.

Eccles cakes?

Chorley Cakes are better, IMO - though when it comes to Lancastrian afters nothing compares to CSTP.


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Subject: RE: The re-Imagined Village
From: Spleen Cringe
Date: 31 Jul 09 - 05:40 PM

Babs yed wi thelmet on for me!


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Subject: RE: The re-Imagined Village
From: WalkaboutsVerse
Date: 31 Jul 09 - 04:52 PM

If we must have brand names, then we must have Warburton's white slice loafs. Agreed re. barmcakes, S., and how about Lancashire's Eccles cakes? I've enjoyed quite a few as I used to live there. And, as for Cornish pasties...

Poem 55 of 230: TIN-MINERS' LUNCH

Visiting relatives in Cornwall,
    I saw the mines that miners mined,
The type of lunch they liked to eat,
    And heard this tale about it all:

The real Cornish pasty's thick crust
    Keeps the cooked food inside it warm,
And, when it is properly done,
    A fall down the mine won't make it bust.

From http://blogs.myspace.com/walkaboutsverse (e-book)
Or http://walkaboutsverse.sitegoz.com (e-scroll)
(C) David Franks 2003


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Subject: RE: The re-Imagined Village
From: Jack Blandiver
Date: 31 Jul 09 - 04:01 PM

One of the things we can surely agree on, S. - the village bakers must make stotties...and..?

No! No!! No!!! No!!!! FFS, WAV - how long have you been living here? Here's the Golden Rule: Only Greggs can make Stotties. Simple. On my trips to Tyneside I bring a few back & freeze them, although we've given up having bread in the house of late. Out & about I must confess to finding Lancastrian barmcakes the equal of any stottie. My ideal picnic these days is half a chicken and bag of barmcakes from the Abingdon Barbecue in Blackpool then off along to the sun lounge on the North Pier to make up sarnies.   

So - we'll have stotties & barmcakes shipped in and leave the village bakers to less specialised pies, breads & cakes. On our recent Devon jaunt I got seriously into the bread pudding in the village bakers in Great Torrington - and on a jaunt across the border to Bude we stumbled on the perfect Cornish pasty. Mindblowing.

*

Great film suggestions, you chaps. Forgot about the Glover link between Kes & Alien 3; one of the greats; much loved, much missed.

How about a Shane Meadows season?


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Subject: RE: The re-Imagined Village
From: Spleen Cringe
Date: 31 Jul 09 - 01:35 PM

For the next season, can we have "Hell is a City", "A Taste of Honey" and "If..."?


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Subject: RE: The re-Imagined Village
From: WalkaboutsVerse
Date: 31 Jul 09 - 12:39 PM

One of the things we can surely agree on, S. - the village bakers must make stotties...and..?


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Subject: RE: The re-Imagined Village
From: Stu
Date: 31 Jul 09 - 10:41 AM

"...which also featured, wierdly enough, as one of the sets used in Alien 3"

That must have been inside the prison I assume. The presence of the excellent Brian Glover (who plays the sports master in Kes) and David Fincher's bleak vision of the prison colony makes this film the best of the sequels in my opinion. I might be the only person in the world who thinks this.

Can we have American Werewolf in London as part of the International programme (for the Slaughtered Lamb scenes alone)?

Great link to the opening titles SOP. Sheffield synth-pop wonks the Human League also did a version of the Get Carter dee-dee music on their excellent 1982 album Dare.


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Subject: RE: The re-Imagined Village
From: Jack Blandiver
Date: 31 Jul 09 - 10:12 AM

Here's the Get Carter opening titles with the Deadly Avenger Remix; amazing stuff...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oZIfYhOcxb4


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Subject: RE: The re-Imagined Village
From: Jack Blandiver
Date: 31 Jul 09 - 10:08 AM

Get Carter - The first, and only, Stottie Cake Western! Now there's something WAV might appreciate, and the soundtrack too; I'm sure Morricone himself couldn't have composed a better one!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8kMhcf8eyiA

Forgive me, as an ex-pat Geordie I'm apt to go dewy eyed over stuff like this, capturing as it does the long-vanished industrial landscapes of my South Northumbrian childhood - including Blyth Power Station (which also featured, wierdly enough, as one of the sets used in Alien 3) even though the Gateshead multi-storey car-park still stands.


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Subject: RE: The re-Imagined Village
From: Stu
Date: 31 Jul 09 - 09:43 AM

For the Autumn season:

Kes

Get Carter

The Plank

The Wicker Man

Quadrophenia


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Subject: RE: The re-Imagined Village
From: Jack Blandiver
Date: 31 Jul 09 - 09:20 AM

Thanks for that, CS - I love Wish You Were Here. It's showing at the The re-Imagined Village Hall Cinema Club as part of the essential British Films Season. Next week - Rita and Sue and Bob Too...

Suggestions for future presentations welcome!


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Subject: RE: The re-Imagined Village
From: Crow Sister (off with the fairies)
Date: 31 Jul 09 - 08:07 AM

Just for you WAV: My first word was "BUM"


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Subject: RE: The re-Imagined Village
From: Jack Blandiver
Date: 31 Jul 09 - 07:34 AM

I think this is worth getting right:

And Brian O'Linn he shot an old dog
And inside it's belly he found an old frog
And inside the old frog he found a gold ring -
That's the third time this week, said Brian O'Linn!


Anyone got any more?


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Subject: RE: The re-Imagined Village
From: Jack Blandiver
Date: 31 Jul 09 - 07:30 AM

they souled off/out the playing field

Souled off; bang on, CS!

...it's a bit stiffer

Fnaar! Fnaar! Glad it turns you on, WAV! Actually, I was expecting Walkabout #219, which I would rewrite as:

Let each Human Individual have their own Church -
Equal, before God*, with the others' Search.


* Let God mean whatever we want it to in this context; God is our personal manifestation of the divine, however so culturally determined that might be the experience remains, ultimately, subjective.

Otherwise, here's my alternative verses to Brian O'Linn which I thought I might sing at the singaround in The Siberian Khatru tonight if anyone fancies it.

Brian O' Linn met the devil one day,
Who showed him a girl lying dead in the hay;
with her he did sport 'til the night it crept in -
There's no chance of child, said Brian O'Linn!

Brian O'Linn he did fuck an old horse
But he got himself stuck and to make matters worse
the horse it ran into the market square then -
Still, they can't see me dick, says Brian O'Linn!

And Brian O'Linn he shot an old dog
And inside it's belly he found an frog
And inside the frog he found a gold ring -
That's the third time this week, said Brian O'Linn!*

And Brian O'Linn found a lump in his balls,
So he picks up the phone and the doctor he calls;
That was three months ago, now he's bald and he's thin -
Sure I fit me old clothes, said Brian O'Linn!

And Brian O'Linn in his coffin did lie;
Dressed up in his best with clean boots and a tie;
Six foot underground and the grave all filled in -
Ah, they can't hear me knocking, says Brian O'Linn!

Brian O'Linn up to heaven did go,
And the light shone so bright, and as white as the snow,
And the angels were singing with no thought of a sin -
I could do with a fag, says Brian O'Linn

So Brian O'Linn he went straight down to hell
Where he filled his owld lungs with the sulphurous smell
And he warmed his cold hands by the fires with a grin -
I'll fetch in the coals, says Brian O'Linn!


* This verse dedicated to Hugh Lupton.


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Subject: RE: The re-Imagined Village
From: WalkaboutsVerse
Date: 31 Jul 09 - 06:28 AM

...it's a bit stiffer - only one swearword this time!


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Subject: RE: The re-Imagined Village
From: Crow Sister (off with the fairies)
Date: 31 Jul 09 - 05:08 AM

"So - pigs in; soulless modern developments out."

Amen. In my 'other' village, they souled off/out the playing field and antiquated but perfectly functional village hall where the jumbles etc. used to be, bulldozed it all, built a vomit inducing 'executive estate' of faux classical houses, and a big shiny new village hall with massive car park, which at night looks like something like a cross between an undercover shopping centre and airport. At least the residents of the faux classical executive estate complain about the noise of village hall traffic. Haha! And the local youths have somewhere to gather late at night too now... Before, the poor fuckers had to sit at the bus stop!


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Subject: RE: The re-Imagined Village
From: Jack Blandiver
Date: 31 Jul 09 - 04:44 AM

In "our village" can we take pigs for "walkies"?

But of course! In our old village in Durham one could still see the remains of the pigsties that each of the old colliery houses had in their gardens; an eerie reminder of a life long vanished. Category D took away a good third of the village, including the old school, leaving a brownfield site that was turned into woodland (complete with old playground) which was all very nice - and a great place for the local kids to torch stolen cars & poachers to bag rabbits (maybe I should add that over on the Folklore: What is Folkore? thead?) until they built the posh houses on one of the finest pieces of ancient pasture because it lay within the village and wasn't, therefore, protected as greenbelt. The soul rather went out of the place after that. So - pigs in; soulless modern developments out.

Great story though, Ron - meant to ask you about it last night; I would have played McGinties Meal an Ale but it's a bit early for the harvest yet. Great night! Vintage Steamer in fact; makes a man proud so it does...

Here's free-range piggery out near Houghall, Durham City in the Summer of 2006:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hNfqNLSTmts

Last time we passed, the pigs had gone and the sty was overgrown with weeds.

*

..."Above the storms of passion" (Bode's hymn - "O Jesus I have promised"), we need a good village choir, with evensong at least once per week.

We used to sing Jesus I Have Promised at school to a very modern tune with rock n' roll piano stylings - something like This - so it's not one I would recommend. I like the old hymns, the harvest ones especially. Maybe Ron could be our choirmaster, as he knows a thing or two in this respect. Evensong would be every night, although I would hope we'd adopt more Catholic practices with respect of Mass & suchlike ceremonies - after all, this is what our ancient churches were built for.   Otherwise something wholesome in the Anglo-Catholic tradition with William Lawes Psalm Tones and Henry Purcell's Hear My Prayer O Lord and other settings from The Book of Common Prayer, which, being one of the glories of English spirituality, we'd have in the church along with Roman Catholic Missal and Latin Psalters. In fact - my Gnostic leanings notwithstanding - I worship at The Church of Abraham, so I'd like to see all Abrahamic Spiritual traditions catered for in our church - be they Christian, Jewish or Islamic. In fact our church should be a reflection of the diversity of human spirituality in 21st Century Britain; if the Pagans want to venerate our Green Man & Triple Hare carvings, then so be it; if New Agers want to Circle Dance in the aisles (as the Church does stand on quite an important Ley Line) then they will be welcome to do so; if the local Goths which to commune with the dead in the graveyard, then they will not be disturbed.

So come-all-ye to our Church of Human Spirituality; Hindus, Sikhs, Buddhists, Rastas, Wiccans, Pagans, Hedgewitches, Moslems, Shamans, Jews, Christians. All welcome here! Apart from Fundamentalists, Jehovah's Witnesses and Mormons of course. No room for Absolute Truths in our church!


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Subject: RE: The re-Imagined Village
From: open mike
Date: 30 Jul 09 - 09:03 PM

these are three different herbs
http://www.botanical.com/botanical/mgmh/d/dandel08.html
http://www.botanical.com/botanical/mgmh/b/burdoc87.html
http://www.botanical.com/botanical/mgmh/h/horwhi33.html


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Subject: RE: The re-Imagined Village
From: glueman
Date: 30 Jul 09 - 04:32 PM

Baggsie I play the serpent. Music's missing a good serpent solo.


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Subject: RE: The re-Imagined Village
From: WalkaboutsVerse
Date: 30 Jul 09 - 03:15 PM

..."Above the storms of passion" (Bode's hymn - "O Jesus I have promised"), we need a good village choir, with evensong at least once per week.


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Subject: RE: The re-Imagined Village
From: Spleen Cringe
Date: 30 Jul 09 - 02:33 PM

A poet who called himself WAV
Got into a right old kerfuffle
He decided he wanted to have
A bite of a well snuffled truffle
The piggie who'd snuffled the truffle
Squared up to the bard for a ruck
WAV showed us how fast he could shuffle
While whimpering "Shit! Bugger! Fuck!"

If we are to have a day of misrule, the pig must be crowned king.


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Subject: RE: The re-Imagined Village
From: Stu
Date: 30 Jul 09 - 01:38 PM

The truffle is a mere trifle, it's the porcine's pleasure that's the priority.


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Subject: RE: The re-Imagined Village
From: WalkaboutsVerse
Date: 30 Jul 09 - 12:52 PM

I've never tried one, so, if it's snuffle wins a truffle, may I have a bite, please?


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Subject: RE: The re-Imagined Village
From: Sailor Ron
Date: 30 Jul 09 - 11:32 AM

My wife, at the age of 6, on holiday in East Anglia won a 6 week old pig. She called him, with great imagination, 'Porkie' and took him for walks, much like a dog, he became house trained. As he grew he he went to live on a farm, but not knowing he was a pig, and regarding himself as a dog, did not like the other pigs at all.
She also won a goat, but that's another story.
In "our village" can we take pigs for "walkies"?


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Subject: RE: The re-Imagined Village
From: Jack Blandiver
Date: 30 Jul 09 - 07:42 AM

I vote for being able to let it snuffle for acorns in the common ground woods next to Winstanley Common.

Seconded.


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Subject: RE: The re-Imagined Village
From: Stu
Date: 30 Jul 09 - 07:32 AM

Can we bowl for a pig at the the fete?*

As for the swearing, can we widen that to include all sorts of vulgarities please?**






*I've never actually seen bowling for a pig at a village fete, but being a lifelong fan of Giles cartoons have always wondered what you would do if you won. I vote for being able to let it snuffle for acorns in the common ground woods next to Winstanley Common.


**There should be several copies of the Profanisaurus Rex in the village library (an ideal place to float an air biscuit for the delectation of fellow browsers).


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Subject: RE: The re-Imagined Village
From: Phil Edwards
Date: 30 Jul 09 - 06:22 AM

Fuck. Cunt. Bollocks. Shit. Morris. Bastard. Twat. Arse. Folk.

Cake! Girls! Folk!


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Subject: RE: The re-Imagined Village
From: Jack Blandiver
Date: 30 Jul 09 - 05:03 AM

no swearing in the village, please.

Fuck. Cunt. Bollocks. Shit. Morris. Bastard. Twat. Arse. Folk.

In the village swearing will be mandatory, WAV - the only language that won't be allowed is the racist bullshit you publish & promote as your Life's Work.

In the re-Imagined Village the corner shop will be run by Mr Patel, a Scottish born 2nd Generation Pakistani Moslem who sells everything from Samosas to Selkirk Bannocks to Polish Apple Cakes. The takeaways will be Chinese, Gurkha and Indian, and there will be a tiny Traditional Fish & Chip shop, like The Old Stables in Ewyas Harold which is one the finest in the country, specially given its proximity to the sea. The Village will be a perfect microcosm of the multi-cultural and multi-ethnic reality of our United Kingdom with favour given to diversity, eccentricity, disability, and special needs of every stripe.

And people will be free to park anywhere they like.


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Subject: RE: The re-Imagined Village
From: WalkaboutsVerse
Date: 30 Jul 09 - 04:25 AM

Cakes, creams, conserves, crockery - fine; but 1 or 2 need to re-stiffen their upper-lips a tad - no swearing in the village, please.


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Subject: RE: The re-Imagined Village
From: Phil Edwards
Date: 29 Jul 09 - 05:46 PM

So can we have a completely fucked up village fete muh more in line with Saturnalia or something please?

As long as we have one of the real ones too. With a crockery stall (for smashing), an unSplat-able Rat, a tombola stall laden with weird perfumes, weirder liqueurs and lurking in the middle an outdated jar of Marmite, and at least one stall where you can't work out exactly what you're supposed to do or what the prize is (if any), and the stallholder always seems to be deep in conversation with someone else when you go up so you never do find out. And a cake stall, a home made jam stall with smudgy handwritten labels, a White Elephant stall and a bookstall with books which have the aura of rare antiquarian discoveries when you buy them but lose it (like pebbles from the beach) when you get them home. And a tannoy run by someone who knows everyone, and knows all the in-jokes too. And a few of the local kids showing off their capoeira or Morris (fluffy) or country dancing (Irish) - and all the other kids running wild and then running wilder than that, as if they've never had the chance to play chase in a big field ever before in their lives.

That would do me.

That'll do me.


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Subject: RE: The re-Imagined Village
From: glueman
Date: 29 Jul 09 - 05:42 PM

"PS I HATEHATEHATE village fetes. So can we have a completely fucked up village fete muh more in line with Saturnalia or something please?"

Our village fete is tombola torment by day, deranged debauch by night. All the women wear sunglasses until the next evening so they've either been rogered by the devil or got totally rat-arsed and can't see till noon.
My favourite is S****** in Devon, nameless because it's so posh you can pick up incredibly excellent stuff on the bring and buy and we shall return in a week or so. My wife bought some antique linen for about 20p and they said 'oh just take all of it, nobody cares for it round here.' I copped for some marvellous board games from the 1930s. Mrs Glue also bought some gorgeous period jewellery that looked like Mrs Simpson's but she lost it that same day so we assume it needed to return home.


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Subject: RE: The re-Imagined Village
From: Sue Allan
Date: 29 Jul 09 - 05:33 PM

Crow Sister I'm very happy to be your Auntie! an't be a cousin,sadly,as over fift. Do I like cats?! I've shared my house with cats for the past thirty years, although one of the current pair is the biggest delinquent I've ever had, so I may reviewing the resident cats policy ...

Here's my recipe for lavender and honey ice cream - seasonal as lavender's in flower at the moment:

- Pour 250ml milk and 450 ml cream into a heavy-based saucepan, add 40 sprigs of fresh lavender (or less of dried) –use blossom end only. Bring slowly to the boil and leave to infuse for 15-20 minutes. This will give a delicious flavour.
- Whisk 6 egg yolks (you'll have to find something else to do with the whites: meringues?. Add a little of the lavender cream and then mix the two together.
- Cook over a low heat until the mixture barely thickens, and lightly coats the back of a spoon (be careful it does not curdle).
- Whisk 150ml clear honey into the warm custard, sieve to remove the lavender.
- Chill thoroughly and then freeze, whisking several times.
- Serve decorated with sprigs of lavender. Enjoy!


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Subject: RE: The re-Imagined Village
From: Spleen Cringe
Date: 29 Jul 09 - 05:20 PM

We should have a wind farm. With multi coloured psychedelic propellers - dotted around the village like giant triffids. We should have a few triffids, too.

We should ignore this man. This is real:

I am very concerned that these wind farms will affect the natural wind patterns thereby affecting weather patterns. A consensus of my friends who are scientists believe that a wind farm of this scale will shift the earth off its rotational axis and send it hurtling toward the sun in a matter of decades. Who stupid are these Brits? Don't they realize that human actions on such a scale have worldwide consequences? Such an attempt to destroy the planet should be considered an act against humanity and declaration of war. Where is the condemnation from the UN?
— Lyle Vos


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Subject: RE: The re-Imagined Village
From: Crow Sister (off with the fairies)
Date: 29 Jul 09 - 04:44 PM

Make that 'forty' not 'fourty'.. this bloody Mudcat place has some insidious effects on one - mutter mutter!


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Subject: RE: The re-Imagined Village
From: Crow Sister (off with the fairies)
Date: 29 Jul 09 - 04:33 PM

Sue Allan, can I have you as an Auntie in the re-imagined village (if you are under fourty we can be cousins)? My realish family's embarrassingly thin right now so 're-imagining' it, would help heaps!

..Hope you like cats?

Go on, post some traditional country recipe involving fritters or buns or summat.. We have loads of Elders in the lanes btw.


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Subject: RE: The re-Imagined Village
From: Sue Allan
Date: 29 Jul 09 - 04:24 PM

Funny old recipes, yay! Elderflower fritters, blackcurrant leaf sorbet, lavender ice cream, snow pancakes and hedgerow jelly (this last not hedge clipping but assorted berries). Every one of 'em genuine and all I've made a winner ... not tried the snow pancakes though. Need old fashioned winters for that.


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Subject: RE: The re-Imagined Village
From: Crow Sister (off with the fairies)
Date: 29 Jul 09 - 04:03 PM

Actually, I don't want to work at the brewery, lovely as the one Spleen proposes is. I want to work in the local bakery! Like my Nan, I love baking bread and cakes and stuff. And while I work in the local bakers I'll be researching funny old recipes with nettles and err elderberies and forcing them upon the villagers.

PS I HATEHATEHATE village fetes. So can we have a completely fucked up village fete muh more in line with Saturnalia or something please? A day of anarchy and misrule...

As for sweeties, there's nothing to compare with Summer Isle's Post Office?


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Subject: RE: The re-Imagined Village
From: Spleen Cringe
Date: 29 Jul 09 - 03:49 PM

SWIZZELS MEGA DOUBLE LOLLIPOPS in the sweet shop for me, please. And REFRESHER CHEWS.

And sod yer Greene King! We'll dismantle the Three Tuns Brewery and rebuild it brick for brick and get drunk as skunks on Triple X... in fact we could do worse than model the village on Bishop's Castle...


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Subject: RE: The re-Imagined Village
From: theleveller
Date: 29 Jul 09 - 03:45 PM

Stocks! And any of them snotty rich buggers who come around and try to buy second homes gets put in 'em and pelted with pig shit.


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Subject: RE: The re-Imagined Village
From: Crow Sister (off with the fairies)
Date: 29 Jul 09 - 03:03 PM

Oooh, further to Greene King SO'P, I recently visited Bury in Suffolk and had a most fascinating snout around their museum there.
I tell you what the building is like Willie Wonka's, so brilliant. Greene King

Looked like something outa 'Metropolis'. I almost imagined I saw wee sweaty 'serfs' slaving away at vast mysterious bubbling chemical cauldrons, with big dials and stuff everywhere. If we move, I want to work there.


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Subject: RE: The re-Imagined Village
From: glueman
Date: 29 Jul 09 - 02:30 PM

I quite enjoy the cheapo supermarket experience. The old girls tell you about their operation and you get tins of peaches big enough to go over Niagara in. We occasionally visit Waitrose when we're in the vicinity and it's all 3rd wives in VW Toerags with flat pumps and navy tights and a face to curdle milk.

Lidl were selling off their fishing bags for £12.99. Think of a square, rather smart camera bag with enough boxes inside to keep the most anally retentive compartmentier happy. Bliss.


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Subject: RE: The re-Imagined Village
From: Crow Sister (off with the fairies)
Date: 29 Jul 09 - 02:01 PM

Lidl - yer go in for some baked beans and come out with a fission reactor.

He heh! 'Tis true enough1


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Subject: RE: The re-Imagined Village
From: Crow Sister (off with the fairies)
Date: 29 Jul 09 - 02:00 PM

Oops, getting Aldi muddled with Lidl there. The local Lidl is mainly filled with slow moving single file traffic of coffin dodgers.


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Mudcat time: 23 October 3:55 PM EDT

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