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Leaving a group you love

Wesley S 08 Oct 09 - 12:00 PM
alex s 08 Oct 09 - 12:06 PM
open mike 08 Oct 09 - 12:30 PM
The Villan 08 Oct 09 - 01:12 PM
katlaughing 08 Oct 09 - 05:42 PM
Leadfingers 08 Oct 09 - 07:14 PM
Michael Harrison 08 Oct 09 - 08:14 PM
Jerry Rasmussen 08 Oct 09 - 08:23 PM
wysiwyg 08 Oct 09 - 08:36 PM
Mooh 08 Oct 09 - 09:07 PM
Janie 08 Oct 09 - 10:45 PM
GUEST,Wesley S 09 Oct 09 - 06:10 PM
Peace 09 Oct 09 - 06:14 PM
katlaughing 09 Oct 09 - 06:17 PM
The Villan 09 Oct 09 - 06:33 PM
The Villan 09 Oct 09 - 06:37 PM
Midchuck 09 Oct 09 - 07:31 PM
Wesley S 12 Oct 09 - 12:30 PM
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Subject: Leaving a group you love
From: Wesley S
Date: 08 Oct 09 - 12:00 PM

My wife and I have decided to move our family from north Texas to the Atlanta Georgia area. There are a variety of good reasons – she's found a good job there and we'll live just a few minutes away from my brother, sister and my three nieces. We'll be surrounded by my family. So we're excited about the move. We love the area, the schools will be great for my son – everything about it will be a step up for us. And I'm excited because it looks like I'll be able to take an early retirement and become a "Mr Mom".

I'll miss my friends here in Texas but we'll always be able to stay in touch with e-mails and visits during the holidays. But that doesn't work when you're in a music group. I LOVE getting together with these guys and singing, working on arrangements and performing in public. And I know the other guys are disappointed that I'm leaving – even if they do see the logic in the move. We've become a tight unit over the last ten years. We're at the point that when we work up a new song that the arrangement just falls into place. We all know the roles we've worked out and everything falls together easily.

But a music group isn't enough to keep you in a place when it makes sense to move on. Yes – I know there are good musicians in Georgia and I'll do my best to connect with them and find a new group to perform with. But I'm still saddened by what I'm leaving behind. These guys helped me find my voice. From someone who would pick up his guitar for a few minutes a month I've turned into a more confident performer that isn't terrified to get up on a stage anymore. And I'm a much better musician than I was when I started with these guys. I'll always be grateful for that.

So I don't really need any advice. I think I just wanted to whine a little since I'm really experiencing a sense of loss. It's almost like the death of a friend. I'm sure that others of you have been in similar situations so you might be able to share your experiences if you like. Thanks for letting me vent.


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Subject: RE: Leaving a group you love
From: alex s
Date: 08 Oct 09 - 12:06 PM

Yes, been there too. I moved for my work promotion but I missed the band a lot. I've been in a few bands since then but none really had that special quality, a bit like your first real love! Ah.....


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Subject: RE: Leaving a group you love
From: open mike
Date: 08 Oct 09 - 12:30 PM

find a place 1/2 way between TX and GA and schedule a gig there!
someplace in Louisiana, Mississippi or perhaps! good luck with your
new situation.

here are Atlanta and Athens area folk music links..

http://www.aaffm.org/

http://userwww.service.emory.edu/~ehultgr/aaffm/

http://athensfolk.org/html/

http://www.onlineathens.com/stories/091508/mar_332299872.shtml


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Subject: RE: Leaving a group you love
From: The Villan
Date: 08 Oct 09 - 01:12 PM

Think about the future and all the positives. Don't look back and get out there and meet people straight away.
Don't sit around waiting for it to come to you.

I moved from the UK leaving all my friends behind one day, and was in Amsterdam not knowing anybody. My love was squash at the time. So I went straight to the only squash club in Amsterdam then, and joined. The rest is history. I spent 13 very happy years there met my wife within a year and got married to her.

I didn't have e-mail and skype then or a mobile phone.

So shut the old door and open the new one and go forth boldly.


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Subject: RE: Leaving a group you love
From: katlaughing
Date: 08 Oct 09 - 05:42 PM

{{{{{HUGS}}}}} and a Snoopy Happy dance from excitement about your New Life...you will find the music.:-)


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Subject: RE: Leaving a group you love
From: Leadfingers
Date: 08 Oct 09 - 07:14 PM

You DO have the music - I know its a lot harder to find the sort of music you love in USA rather than a small country like UK , but the Quality of Life seems to be a better option and you CAN find some good Musos , I am sure !
Best of Luck !


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Subject: RE: Leaving a group you love
From: Michael Harrison
Date: 08 Oct 09 - 08:14 PM

What group are you leaving here in North Texas?..............mwh


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Subject: RE: Leaving a group you love
From: Jerry Rasmussen
Date: 08 Oct 09 - 08:23 PM

I can identify with that. When I retired and my wife and I wanted to move away from where we were living, we had a choice. Our move was not job driven, and we chose to stay within a 45 minute drive from our church, my wife's side of the family and the three guys who were in my gospel quartet. I was able to keep the quartet together for another five years, but one of the group moved to Florida and my two other friends are now in their mid-80's and they find it increasingly difficult to get together, even just to sit around and sing for our own enjoyment.

Make sure you enjoy the moment. It slips away too soon. The good news is that my life is richer because of new interests and opportunities, and I still sing with the guys in the Men's Chorus at our church. Life is good, just differrent.


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Subject: RE: Leaving a group you love
From: wysiwyg
Date: 08 Oct 09 - 08:36 PM

Wes, you will take the best, with you. Your next band will stand on the shoulders of this one. You'll look back often and see how much you learned/gained from it, probably all the more the farther you get from it in time and distance.

And you'll be one of the looked-up-to experts in the next one, I bet.

For the rest, don't forget that Mr. Mom is a moosician. Not for one day, no matter HOW much fun you are having.

Love ya,

~S~


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Subject: RE: Leaving a group you love
From: Mooh
Date: 08 Oct 09 - 09:07 PM

I can sympathize. Find some new musician friends and widen your network, it's good therapy for lost musician friends and groups...at least it's always worked for me. It's an opportunity.

I left a good group due to an out of control drunken drummer, and two, no three, other groups due to out of control egomaniacal band leaders. It would give me a complex except that they are far outnumbered by great and worthy groups.

Good luck, and let us know how you get on.

Peace, Mooh.


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Subject: RE: Leaving a group you love
From: Janie
Date: 08 Oct 09 - 10:45 PM

I can imagine how hard that is, Wesley, and imagine your band mates are feeling the grief too.

Best of luck to you and your family on your move to Atlanta. Sounds like you will seek out some of the wonderful music circles there without excessive trepidation, and will probably find yourself growing even more as a musician and performer as you meet the challenge of finding and meshing with new musicians. Whatever you find will be something new, something different, and perhaps at least as wonderful - but will not be a replacement for what you are losing.

From your post, it seems you know that already.

Janie


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Subject: RE: Leaving a group you love
From: GUEST,Wesley S
Date: 09 Oct 09 - 06:10 PM

Thanks folks. On top of all this we're singing our last concert together next Friday night. And the last song? Tom Paxtons "The Honor of your Company" The chorus is:

"Thankyou for the honor of your company
The music was as sweet as the good red wine
Thanks for the company and thanks for the harmony
I'm here to say the honor was all mine"

And I'm supposed to sing the last verse and chorus with dry eyes?


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Subject: RE: Leaving a group you love
From: Peace
Date: 09 Oct 09 - 06:14 PM

Not a chance.


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Subject: RE: Leaving a group you love
From: katlaughing
Date: 09 Oct 09 - 06:17 PM

Not at all..I'll bet there won't be a dry eye among you...that's what fills our hearts up until we see one another the next time.:-) Good medicine.


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Subject: RE: Leaving a group you love
From: The Villan
Date: 09 Oct 09 - 06:33 PM

You could of course sing this. I am sure it would be harder.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C1E1y71sI1s&feature=related


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Subject: RE: Leaving a group you love
From: The Villan
Date: 09 Oct 09 - 06:37 PM

Now I don't think I should have listened to that. Had to hold the tears away.


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Subject: RE: Leaving a group you love
From: Midchuck
Date: 09 Oct 09 - 07:31 PM

I left a good group due to an out of control drunken drummer, and two, no three, other groups due to out of control egomaniacal band leaders.

Aren't both those categories redundancies?

(snork)

Peter


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Subject: RE: Leaving a group you love
From: Wesley S
Date: 12 Oct 09 - 12:30 PM

Here's Tom Paxton on Youtube
singing "The Honor of Your Company".


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