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BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles
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Subject: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: GREEN WELLIES Date: 29 Oct 09 - 04:56 AM This one has probably been done a million times, but it made me laugh this morning. At the traffic lights, on red, the E.ON landrover in fron of the with the sign saying 'If I stop - can you'. Well evidently I can, as we're both stationary at the traffice lights. So tempting to jump out of my car and bang on his door and say 'yes! I can stop, I'm right behind you'. And the other one I see day after day, on the backs of lorries 'hows my driving? call 0800 ***********'. Yes while I'm following you at 50mph along the M5 I'll just get out a pen and paper and write down the number and give you a call from my mobile ! Just who thinks these things up? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: Rapparee Date: 29 Oct 09 - 09:53 AM Saw a sign on a septic tank cleaning truck: "We'll take all the crap you can dish out." |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: Don Firth Date: 29 Oct 09 - 03:14 PM If you don't like my driving, stay off the sidewalk! Seen in the Ballard district of Seattle: Norwegian driver. Thank you for not laughing. More later. Don Firth |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: Tangledwood Date: 29 Oct 09 - 05:19 PM Seen on a Jeep here last year - Keep your hands of my Willy. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: Sandy Mc Lean Date: 29 Oct 09 - 06:02 PM Well there's this one: Honk If You Love Jesus |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: Georgiansilver Date: 29 Oct 09 - 06:07 PM I spotted a large articulated truck, when I pulled along behind it, had some letters scratched in the dust at the back and it read... R/SEND.... so I thought to myself... 'Why would anyone want to write R/SEND at the back of an artic... then the penny dropped.......... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: Rapparee Date: 29 Oct 09 - 10:06 PM I always wondered why, in the Army, the first vehicle in a convoy of many vehicles, carried a sign that read "Convoy Follows" and never had one that read "Convoy Ends" or "Convoy Doesn't Follow". I never thought to ask, however. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: Gurney Date: 30 Oct 09 - 02:01 AM I've considered getting the 'Eschew Obfuscation' bumper sticker, because it appeals to my pedantry. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: akenaton Date: 30 Oct 09 - 03:57 AM I've got an extremely beat-up work truck. On the tailgate is a large sticker sent to me by an American friend. "If I lower my standards you'll be the first to know!!" |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: GUEST,Ralphie Date: 30 Oct 09 - 04:15 AM Maybe our antipodean writers can confirm this (maybe apocryphal...I hope not!) message on a white van in Oz. Danny Boy Plumbing. The pipes, the pipes are calling! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: Tangledwood Date: 30 Oct 09 - 05:08 AM Sorry Ralphie, I can't find him in the phone book, but that doesn't preclude the possibility of a small business with only a mobile phone. If there isn't a plumber of that name there certainly should be! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: GREEN WELLIES Date: 30 Oct 09 - 05:26 AM Just would like to add, the sticker in a friends extremely old and permanentaly mud covered Landrover - 'You can go fast....... I can go anywhere' |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: GUEST,Ralphie Date: 30 Oct 09 - 05:57 AM Thanks for that TW. While I'm on, I also heard that the Australian version of WD40 (an oil-based lubricant spray here in the UK, sometimes used for sorting out car ignitions) is called "Start Yer Bastard" down under?? Probably not, but should be! And how about an antipodean Chilli sauce named... "Smack my a***e and call me Sally" All info gratefully received! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: SharonA Date: 30 Oct 09 - 12:57 PM I saw this bumper sticker day before yesterday: "It's your Hell -- you burn in it!" |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: kendall Date: 30 Oct 09 - 12:58 PM In Yorkshire I saw a lorrie with a sign that said, "If it has wheels and tits you will have trouble with it." |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: folk1e Date: 30 Oct 09 - 01:25 PM "Scouts do it with 3 fingers" .... it did have a graphic of the Scout salute! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: GUEST,Helen, cookieless Date: 30 Oct 09 - 04:21 PM A lot of hoon cars in Oz have a sticker: "Dilligaf", which always makes me want to find a marker pen and write "Yes!" next to it. Dilligaf = do I look like a give a f@#$ Another sign I have seen on hoon cars is: "Cover me with honey and throw me to the lesbians". That one makes me want to grab the marker and write: "So they can tie you to an ants' nest". And Ralphie, about the Danny Boy joke - it's more than likely that somewhere in Oz someone has that written on their plumber's ute. Helen |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: Dead Horse Date: 30 Oct 09 - 05:09 PM While being extremely bored and in possesion of a large lump of chalk, I, as a driver in a convoy of British Army vehicles carrying Medium Girder Bridge (the armys version of a meccano set) decided to give my truck white wall tyres. I also added "HM Queen & Sons" to the side, and "Stop Me And Build One" to the rear. The Royal Engineer officer to whom we delivered the load was not best pleased! My lads loved it :-) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: Tootler Date: 30 Oct 09 - 07:49 PM I bet your officer had a good chuckle over it in the mess! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: Tootler Date: 30 Oct 09 - 07:52 PM Have you noticed that signs like "Baby on Board" or "Princess on Board" seem to give the vehicle's owner the right to drive as if they are hell bent on killing their little darling |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: McGrath of Harlow Date: 30 Oct 09 - 08:05 PM 'hows my driving? call 0800 ***********'. If you phoned the number you wouldn't get the man in the van, you'd get an answerphone in the office where you could leave a message commenting on the driving, and giving time and date of something the driver has done that deserves comment. In fact it is not a silly sign, it's a way of giving drivers a warning that if they cut up other road users and put the firm's vehicles at risk, there may be nasty consequences for them later. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: meself Date: 30 Oct 09 - 11:22 PM Then there's the one I saw on the back of a truck - I've quoted this on another thread: "If you don't like my driving, call 1-800-EAT-SHIT". |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: Big Mick Date: 30 Oct 09 - 11:32 PM Still my all time favorite bumper sticker. All the best, Mick |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: Edthefolkie Date: 31 Oct 09 - 09:07 AM Seen on the back of a local tour bus on the Ring of Kerry, west of Ireland: No.1 To Be Sure, To Be Sure - Paddywagon Tours It even had a picture of a leprechaun and a shamrock. Irony bypass alert? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: melodeonboy Date: 31 Oct 09 - 09:16 AM Years ago, when I was living in upstate New York, I often used to see the lorries of a local food producer drive around with the motto "Our wursts are the best!" written on the side. NB: Wurst (the German word for "sausage") is commonly used for the same in New York State (and possibly in other parts of the USA!) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: Spleen Cringe Date: 31 Oct 09 - 09:24 AM Saw a great one on a car in Oz: "I brake for hallucinations"... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: VirginiaTam Date: 31 Oct 09 - 09:41 AM All those I (heart) my German Shepherd, Collie, Chihuahua, Poodle, Sheep Dog, Dachshund, insert you fav canine. Someone with a twisted sense of humour, covering the heart with graphic of a screw printed on sticky label. I always wanted one (on the front of the car) that says Thou shalt alternate merge. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: EBarnacle Date: 31 Oct 09 - 12:26 PM Just for the Hell of it a lot of years ago, I dialed 1 800 EAT SHIT and someone had slipped. It was a real number at the time. It has since been changed. A couple of weeks ago, Lady Hillary and I met another Ham, whose license plate and call letters were W2RUM. Think about it. By the way, his favorite rum is Gosling's Black Seal. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: meself Date: 31 Oct 09 - 03:15 PM "Just for the Hell of it" is not a sufficient explanation, in this instance .... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: GUEST,melinda Date: 31 Oct 09 - 03:25 PM After seeing countless "I (heart) my dog/cat/hamster/brontosaurus" bumper stickers, I was amused to see "I (spade) my dog." Now I want one that says "I (club) Baby Seals" |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: gnu Date: 31 Oct 09 - 05:44 PM Anyone mention "This vehicle makes wide turns."? I mean, if it isn't obvious, perhaps another sanity test is in order? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: GUEST,PeterC Date: 01 Nov 09 - 12:29 PM I mean, if it isn't obvious, perhaps another sanity test is in order? It isn't, I have seen two vehicles make emergency stops this weekend while trying to pass turning artics. Best sticker I ever saw was "Its a lovely day, some bastard's bound to spoil it". The car was on the back of a police tow truck at the time. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: Janie Date: 01 Nov 09 - 12:43 PM "Squirrels...nature's little speed bumps." |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: GUEST,jts Date: 01 Nov 09 - 12:56 PM I was in North Augusta, SC the other day. I saw a bumper sticker. "Do you follow Jesus this closely." A fine sentiment whether meant ironically or sincerely, I am sure. But I was sorely tempted to approach the driver, as he filled his tank and say the following.... "Why yes I DO!!! Sir!!" "I am the paint on the Lord's bumper!!!" There was something else I thought about saying, about being so far up as to be able to say what he had for breakfast, but discretion prevailed and I kept my own smart ass council. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: EBarnacle Date: 01 Nov 09 - 10:31 PM Sorry, meself, but curiousity is always enough motivation to do something harmless. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: GREEN WELLIES Date: 02 Nov 09 - 03:49 AM Thanks McGrath, but I still dont see how you are supposed to make a note of the 0800 'how's my driving' number, when the said driver has just cut you up on the M5 at 50mph as much as I would like to let his employers know. Thats what makes it a silly sign. In the back of my mom's car (I'd forgotten about this one) 'I brake for no particular reason'......I think its something to do with Terry Wogan. Moms 86 and still driving, infact she's off to Australia today - not driving, flying. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: CarolC Date: 02 Nov 09 - 04:03 AM I've used those 800 "how's my driving" numbers before. At least once when I was alone, and once while I was a passenger. Both times I was able to write the number down. One of the times, I didn't have a cell phone, and I brought the number home with me and called from there. They just need the road you're on and approximate location, the time when the incident happened, and the license plate or truck number if possible. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: Ed T Date: 02 Nov 09 - 06:06 AM Don't cry girls, I'll be back |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: Fred McCormick Date: 03 Nov 09 - 04:34 AM My all time favourite? "So Many Women. So Little Time." |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: Liz the Squeak Date: 04 Nov 09 - 02:23 AM Seen on the back of a removal van this week - Absolute Removals Surprisingly Efficient. I nearly choked!! But my all time favourite - and ladies of a certain disposition will appreciate this one - on the back of a bakers van; 'No cake left in this vehicle overnight' LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: Dick The Box Date: 04 Nov 09 - 12:38 PM One for anyone who has been to Burton-on-Trent "You'll honk if you love Marmite" |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: open mike Date: 05 Nov 09 - 01:00 PM I just heard the song "I was just flipped off by a silver haired old lady with a honk if you love jesus sticker on the bumper of her car" by the Trailer Park Troubadours http://www.unhitched.com/ i thought it belonged in the bumper sticker thread... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: Steve Shaw Date: 06 Nov 09 - 12:42 PM Apropos of the "Eat shit" number, I once saw this on a sticker: "Driven badly? Go to www.gofuckyourself.co.uk" |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: Steve Shaw Date: 06 Nov 09 - 12:44 PM I just remembered - written with a finger in the dirt on the back of a white van in Bristol, "I wish my wife was this dirty!" |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: Don(Wyziwyg)T Date: 06 Nov 09 - 06:20 PM Sign on a van seen in South London:- "Southeastern Pool and Pond Maintenance" Totally innocuous, until they pulled up and opened the sliding side door, leaving:- "Southeastern Poo Maintenance" Brightened up a bad day. Don T |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: Will Fly Date: 07 Nov 09 - 04:26 AM Local scaffolding firm in Sussex - the sticker on their lorry said: "The best erections in town". |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: GUEST,Paul Date: 08 Nov 09 - 04:30 AM I once saw a sign where someone had combined the "if driven at night, vehicle has been stolen" and "well driven" signs - it just said "if well driven, vehicle has been stolen". Not on a vehicle but I once saw some great graffiti on a road sign. There was a temporary warning sign that said "Cats eyes removed" and someone had added "£20 per cat" |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: Dave MacKenzie Date: 08 Nov 09 - 11:29 AM Personal number plates are all the rage for aggressive drivers |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: meself Date: 08 Nov 09 - 11:55 AM "Those displaying many stickers were 16 per cent more likely to succumb to road-induced anger" Seems like a pretty meaningless statistic, to me. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: Ed T Date: 08 Nov 09 - 07:30 PM Senior on board I brake, hard, for restrooms. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: GUEST Date: 08 Nov 09 - 08:39 PM I know of some American girls traveling in England who were made very nervous by the sight of a movers' van with the company name on it: "Beaver Removals." (Another variance between US and English English) Peter |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: Dave MacKenzie Date: 09 Nov 09 - 06:30 AM I think I saw a beaver plumbing too. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: GUEST,jts Date: 09 Nov 09 - 12:08 PM I think most American women would rather have their beavers "plumbed" than "removed." |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: Bill D Date: 09 Nov 09 - 01:06 PM I think most American women would rather have fewer cutesy euphemisms. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: Pete Jennings Date: 10 Nov 09 - 01:00 PM Written on a dirty van (forget where): www.cleanme.com Pete |
