Lyr Req: Bloody Orkney Reply

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Bloody Orkney Reply
From: GUEST
Date: 08 Jul 20 - 01:06 PM

I very much like Guest's poem about England, but then I'm Scottish

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Bloody Orkney Reply
From: GUEST,Paul teasdale
Date: 08 Jul 20 - 07:37 AM

I have just gone through my fathers army papers about 1952 and on a scrap of paper is written the bloody orkney poem so I presume he must have heard it in the forces

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Bloody Orkney Reply
From: GUEST
Date: 04 Jan 17 - 10:50 AM

Dave Rogers from Banner Theatre wrote this:

In bloody England, what do we do?
Elect this bloody Tory crew
Another bloody bankers' coup
Three cheers for England

Now bloody Blair was bloody bad
And bloody Brown was bloody sad
Now bloody May, we're bloody mad
Three cheers for England

Now Osborne was a bloody nutter
And bloody Hunt's a health care cutter
Then Duncan Smith crawled out the gutter
Three cheers for England

Their bloody bullshit's bloody vile
All draped in bloody PR smiles
It's enough to give you bloody piles
Three cheers for England

All bloody cuts and bloody lies
They'd rob the stars from the bloody skies
Then give the bankers a bloody rise
Three cheers for England

Is this the best we've bloody got?
The bloody country's gone to pot
We should bloody shoot the bloody lot
Three cheers for England

There was doctors on the picket line
And homeless on the street all night
It's time to join the bloody fight
And get back bloody England!

So bloody fight back now, today
Let Corbyn have his bloody say!
And the bloody Tories: on yer way
To the bloody sewers of England
Three cheers for England
And take back bloody England

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Bloody Orkney Reply
From: GUEST,Gibsonboy
Date: 23 May 12 - 11:43 AM

I to first heard this song on an LP by the Ian Campbell Folk Group, called Contemporary Campbells. This would be around 1965, and in his sleeve notes I'm sure he said it was a song that came from the British Army garrison stationed there during WW2. It is probably a bit like the song "The D Day Dodgers", in as much as it is surrounded by much misinformation and myth. This track I think was also on that album.

Much was made of Lady Astor calling the 8th Army, "The D Day Dodgers", and I think she did refer to them in an exchange of letters as "The D Day Dodgers", but only because that is how they signed their original letter to her.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Bloody Orkney Reply
From: Flash Company
Date: 23 May 12 - 11:09 AM

I remember in my first job as a junior accounts clerk in the Building Industry being handed a verse by a guy called David Friend, the lead Auditor working on our accounts called 'The Bloody Auditor', lamenting the level of book-keeping they found in their daily work. As I recall it included:-
Six and five make Bloody nine,
Seven's a Bloody division sign,
No Bloody reason, no Bloody rhyme,
Poor Bloody Auditors!
As a seventeen year old I was just beginning to realise I had a talent for parody verse, I could not let them get away with that.Can't remember the whole of my reply, but it began:-

The work's up to your Bloody chin,
The boss remarks, with Bloody grin,
Guess who's Bloody coming in,
The Bloody Auditors
And so the Bloody trouble starts,
They try to break your bloody hearts,
A bunch of total Bloody farts,
Are bloody Auditors.

With all the Bloody books for choosing,
They want the one you're bloody using,
They make your bloody life confusing,
Bloody Auditors.......

It went on for some time but I can't rremember the rest, hell, it was 59 years ago!

FC

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Bloody Orkney Reply
From: GUEST
Date: 22 May 12 - 05:14 PM

Corkie (Manx)
I've been looking for the rest of Halkirk after reading the little bit in Brydon's book too.
What a feast of profanity! You would have to look far to find any better at this than the British forces! I'm ex R.A.F. (Smoky blue glamour boys - aircrew, not us other ranks in the same situation. We did our share but I cannot recall any airforce "poetry".
Phil

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Bloody Orkney Reply
From: GUEST,Hans
Date: 21 Aug 11 - 04:23 PM

I just read Bill Bryson's "Notes from a small Island".
There i fond the first two stanzas of this song. Having travelled to John O'Groats from Lands's End (what else..) He ended up in Halkirk.
Great song. Hans

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Bloody Orkney Reply
From: Charley Noble
Date: 27 Apr 10 - 05:03 PM

Nice to pull this all together.

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Bloody Orkney Reply
From: GUEST,Bob M
Date: 27 Apr 10 - 11:52 AM

The folk and Jazz singer Diz Dizley always used to include a song version of Bloody Orkney as part of his act. I've got a recording of this on an old reel to reel tape somewhere, made at Sussex University Folk Club about 1970.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Bloody Orkney Reply
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 30 Dec 09 - 10:00 AM

Here goes then, this from ' The Bawdy Songs and Ballads of World War 2 ',edited Martin Page.

This fucking town's a fucking cuss,
No fucking trams, no fucking bus,
Nobody cares for fucking us,
In fucking Halkirk.

The fucking roads are fucking bad,
The fucking folk are fucking mad,
It makes the brightest fucking sad,
In fucking Halkirk

All fucking clouds,all fucking rain,
No fucking kerbs, no fucking drains,
The council's got no fucking brains,
In fucking Halkirk.

No fucking sport no fucking games,
No fucking fun, the fucking dames,
Won't even give their fucking names,
In fucking Halkirk.

Everything's so fucking dear,
A fucking bob for fucking beer,
And is it good ? no fucking fear,
In fucking Halkirk.

The fucking flicks are fucking cold,
The fucking seats are always cold,
You can't get in for fucking gold,
In fucking Halkirk.

The fucking dances make you smile,
The fucking band is fucking vile,
It only cramps your fucking style,
In fucking Halkirk.

Best fucking place is fucking bed,
With fucking ice on your fucking head,
You might as well be fucking dead,
In fucking Halkirk.

No fucking grub no fucking mail,
Just fucking snow and fucking hail,
In anguish deep we fucking wail,
In fucking Halkirk.

The fucking pubs are fucking dry,
The fucking barmaid's fucking fly,
With fucking grief we fucking cry,
OH! FUCK HALKIRK,

Dave H

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Bloody Orkney Reply
From: Farang9
Date: 29 Dec 09 - 11:38 PM

In Bill Bryson's "Notes from a Small Island" he quotes 2 verses of "Fucking Halkirk" and says there are 10 more, with a total of 57 uses of the -ing word. Does anyone have the full version?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Bloody Orkney Reply
From: Folkiedave
Date: 20 Dec 09 - 02:06 PM

Thank you so much for that Eric.

We too have had snow and gales.

Dave

Subject: Lyr Add: THE KIRKWALLIAN'S LAMENT
From: Eric the Viking
Date: 20 Dec 09 - 07:30 AM

THE KIRKWALLIAN'S LAMENT-was an indignant (and anonymous reply) Published in the Orkney blast

This bloody war's a bloody cuss
For what it's bought to bloody us
Such bloody trouble, bloody fuss
Oh bloody, bloody

The navy takes the bloody bun
With gold braid by the bloody ton
This bloody town they try to run
Oh bloody, bloody

They commandeer each bloody hall
And at their bloody beck and call
They want us one and bloody all
Oh bloody, bloody

Strutting round like bloody hens
Supercilious bloody wrens
Can scarcely push their bloody pens
Oh bloody, bloody

Our so called soldiers bloody gay
With two and bloody six a day
Their bloody looks keep Huns away
Oh bloody, bloody

Brass-hats by the bloody score
Drink their pay and shout for more
No wonder Tommy's bloody sore
Oh bloody, bloody

Immaculate bloody glamour boys
In smoky blue, like bloody toys
Parade with studied bloody poise
Oh bloody, bloody

Despite all benefits bestowed
These bloody forces write an ode
To ridicule our loved abode
Oh bloody, bloody

Wish this bloody war was o'er
We'll hound them from our bloody shore
And live in peace for evermore
Oh bloody, bloody


And that, including my earlier stuff, is everything I can find that connects to "Bloody Orkney"

I can understand completely why it was written. If someone can post them in the DT I'll be grateful. There should be an exclamation mark at the end of each verse as there level of frustration grows!!
Merry Christmas from snowy, and cold (at the moment) Orkney

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Bloody Orkney Reply
From: Eric the Viking
Date: 19 Dec 09 - 08:46 AM

Twill be posted on this weekend sometime.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Bloody Orkney Reply
From: Folkiedave
Date: 12 Dec 09 - 08:50 AM

That's fantastic!! Thanks Eric.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Bloody Orkney Reply
From: Eric the Viking
Date: 12 Dec 09 - 05:37 AM

Sorry for the delay. We'll be off island for most of this week. I'll post the words next weekend or begining of week after.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Bloody Orkney Reply
From: Abdul The Bul Bul
Date: 10 Dec 09 - 10:51 PM

Helpful? It's bloody brilliant eric. Bated breath awaits.
Al

Subject: Lyr Add: HELLS BELLS
From: GUEST,eric the viking.
Date: 10 Dec 09 - 02:17 PM

Right, are ye ready?
I have a partial answer for you.
HELLS BELLS was published in the Orkney blast.
Excuse spellings.

The bloody Sassenachs have come
With bugle call and tuck o drum
With smell of beer and army rum.
The cheeky sods

What right have they to criticise
Who blow their trumpet to the skies
But all our folk and homes despise
The bloody clods.

We love the wind, we love the rain
We do have curbs and likewise drains
We have no trams or railway trains
But ships and luggers.

Oh, could we hear the farewell knell
Of old St. Magnus's church's bell
To send them all to bloody hell
The cocky buggers.


There is no author noted.
Wait there is more.
The typist (who was Orcadian) who typed Hamish Blair's verses sent back a reply with her typed manuscript, it goes...


Returned herewith your bloody rot
And what a bloody nerve you've got
Get a bloody southerner to type
Your bloody, bloody awful tripe.
Remember I'm an Orcadian buddy
And proud of it too
Oh bloody, bloody


However, the full length poem that starts...


This bloody war's a bloody cuss
For what it's brought to bloody us........


I am getting a copy of it and will post it if you can wait. It's about 15 verses long.
Hope this is useful.
Cheers
eric

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Bloody Orkney Reply
From: Folkiedave
Date: 08 Dec 09 - 05:34 PM

However there is another full length poem retort written by a lady who I believe was a wireless operator. That is what I am trying to track down.

Thanks for that - great. That is the one I am after.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Bloody Orkney Reply
From: GUEST,weerover
Date: 08 Dec 09 - 04:13 PM

The trout fishing there is second to none in my experience, especially Loch Swannay.

wr

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Bloody Orkney Reply
From: Ian Burdon
Date: 08 Dec 09 - 03:59 PM

And John Cooper Clarke's "Evidently Chickentown" is also distinctly reminiscent to "Oh Fucking Halkirk"

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Bloody Orkney Reply
From: GUEST,eric the viking
Date: 08 Dec 09 - 03:45 PM

sorry, guest woz me.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Bloody Orkney Reply
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 08 Dec 09 - 01:45 PM

In the book ' The Bawdy Ballads Of World War 2 ' it has the same song but it's about Halkirk not the Orkneys and it's called ' Oh Fucking Halkirk ' and 2 more verses

No fucking grub, no fucking mail,
Just fucking snow and fucking hail,
In anguish deep we fucking wail,
In fucking Halkirk.

The fucking pubs are fucking dry,
The fucking barmaids fucking fly,
With fucking grief we fucking cry.
OF! FUCK HALKIRK !

Dave H

Subject: Lyr Add: THE BLOODY ORKNEYS (Hamish Blair)
From: GUEST
Date: 08 Dec 09 - 12:46 PM

The Bloody Orkneys

This bloody town's a bloody cuss
No bloody trains, no bloody bus,
And no one cares for bloody us
In bloody Orkney.

The bloody roads are bloody bad,
The bloody folks are bloody mad,
They'd make the brightest bloody sad,
In bloody Orkney.

All bloody clouds, and bloody rains,
No bloody kerbs, no bloody drains,
The Council's got no bloody brains,
In bloody Orkney.

Everything's so bloody dear,
A bloody bob, for bloody beer,
And is it good? - no bloody fear,
In bloody Orkney.

The bloody 'flicks' are bloody old,
The bloody seats are bloody cold,
You can't get in for bloody gold
In bloody Orkney.

The bloody dances make you smile,
The bloody band is bloody vile,
It only cramps your bloody style,
In bloody Orkney.

No bloody sport, no bloody games,
No bloody fun, the bloody dames
Won't even give their bloody names
In bloody Orkney.

Best bloody place is bloody bed,
With bloody ice on bloody head,
You might as well be bloody dead,
In bloody Orkney

-- Hamish Blair

The Orcadians replied..

Captain Hamish "Bloody" Blair
Isna posted here nae mare
But no-one seems to bloody care
In bloody Orkney.

However there is another full length poem retort written by a lady who I believe was a wireless operator. That is what I am trying to track down.

You are quite right, it is a spectacular place to live, ignoring the horizontal rain and 100 mph winds we sometimes get. But most days are fine and though colder on average than England it's reasonably constant as it's warmed by the gulf stream.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Bloody Orkney Reply
From: Folkiedave
Date: 08 Dec 09 - 10:19 AM

Me too. Though it did rain as well.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Bloody Orkney Reply
From: alex s
Date: 08 Dec 09 - 09:59 AM

I went there last summer and it was great - beautiful weather and super food. Bloody Lovely Orkney.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Bloody Orkney Reply
From: Folkiedave
Date: 07 Dec 09 - 01:32 PM

Thanks Eric. I am half-orcadian on my mother's side.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Bloody Orkney Reply
From: GUEST,eric the viking
Date: 07 Dec 09 - 01:16 PM

There is a penned reply by one of the secretarial staff in Orkney as a reply to "Bloody Orkney". Give me a trip to town and I;ll find out for sure. (As I live here)

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Bloody Orkney Reply
From: Folkiedave
Date: 07 Dec 09 - 07:47 AM

Sorry if I didn't make it clear - I was looking for the lyrics. And author of course if possible.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Bloody Orkney Reply
From: Abdul The Bul Bul
Date: 06 Dec 09 - 09:53 PM

Your verse is at the end of my version too fd. Slight difference in that "Disnae live here any mare and
No one seems to bloody care".
Al

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Bloody Orkney Reply
From: GUEST
Date: 06 Dec 09 - 06:41 PM

No,but it's a good song,which I did at our club in Marlow around November 11th time.Don't often hear it today----I think Ian Campbell used to do it.

Subject: Lyr Req: Bloody Orkney Reply
From: Folkiedave
Date: 06 Dec 09 - 06:19 PM

The well-known poem "Bloody Orkney" was reputedly written by Hamish Blair.

A friend thought there was a reply which began:

Bloody Hamish bloody Blair
Disnae live here nae mair.
The rest of us don't bloody care
In bloody Orkney


Anyone know it?