Updating 'what are little girls made of'

Subject: RE: Updating 'what are little girls made of'
From: Mrrzy
Date: 08 Dec 09 - 08:56 PM

Wow, the original isn't in the Trad! I can't believe it!

OK - here are the rest of the lyrics, sexist yes, but oh so accurate!

(I'm skipping little girls and boys as the above poster has already specified those.)

Young women are made of powder and paint till they look like they ain't
Young men are made of thorns and briars and they're all bad liars
Old women are made of moans and groans and old bags of bones
Old men are made of whisky and brandy and anything that's handy
Little babies are made of milk and honey and a little soft bunny

See why I thought it needed updating?

Subject: RE: Updating 'what are little girls made of'
From: Acorn4
Date: 08 Dec 09 - 09:55 AM

According to the original, which we learned at school little girls were made of :-

"sugar and spice and all things nice"

while little boys were made of:-

"frogs and snails and puppy dogs tails"


How did all us lads survive this blatantly sexist propaganda?

Subject: Updating 'what are little girls made of'
From: Mrrzy
Date: 08 Dec 09 - 09:21 AM

Couldn't sleep the other night and this kinda sprang into my mind, full-grown from my brain, I guess; I wrote most of it down before some disappeared... so this is what I reconstructed, feel free to do better!

I am sure most of you know the original song, which I should have looked up so I could put the blicky here, but for the rest, I'll write out the whole first verse, and the others all follow the same pattern. Only *the phrases between the stars* change for each verse.
So, here it is:

What are *little girls* made of, made of?
What are *little girls* made of?
They're made of *Barbies and nannies*
And *unspanked fannies*
That's what *little girls* are made of.

... little boys... sports team borders... attention disorders...
... young women... shaved what's-in-pants... plastic implants...
... young men... tats, pierced nipples... Rohypnol tipples...
... old women... Bingo and Botox... varicose vein socks...
... old men... chick checks, matey ... work past 80...
... little babies... barfs and tinkles... old Churchill's wrinkles...

And there you have it. What my brain was doing to pop this out to me is still unclear, I was just trying to go to sleep!