Song Challenge... involving 'Willy'

Subject: Song Challenge... involving 'Willy'
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 07 Jan 10 - 03:40 PM

There are many Folk songs in the UK involving the name 'Willy'... or 'Willie'..... perhaps it could be adapted in some way to suit this situation and a song produced as a result... go on!! you know you want to have a go!!! Write a song!!

>>>>>>>A man who went to casualty with his penis stuck in a steel pipe had to be cut free by firefighters using a metal grinder. Skip related content

Medics at Southampton General Hospital could not get the man's penis out of the stainless steel pipe because the restricted blood flow had caused it to become aroused, so they called in Hampshire Fire and Rescue Service.

They turned up with a special equipment unit from St Mary's station in Southampton and seven firefighters to help in what a spokesman said was a "delicate operation".

The firefighters used the four-and-a-half-inch grinder to cut the pipe from around the man's penis and it took about 30 minutes.

The patient was given an anaesthetic and his penis was left bruised and swollen but otherwise unharmed.

The anxious man, aged about 40, gave hospital staff no explanation about how the pipe got stuck after he turned up on Tuesday morning.

A Hampshire Fire and Rescue Service spokesman said: "Initially the crew did not have the appropriate cutting equipment to free the man.

"It was a very delicate operation that required a very steady hand and the crew was worried about things getting too hot during the cutting.

"It's certainly an unusual call-out and I'm sure the man won't be getting into that situation again."<<<<<<<<<<


Make it good... Best wishes, Mike.

Subject: RE: Song Challenge... involving 'Willy'
From: Acorn4
Date: 07 Jan 10 - 03:52 PM

Lynne Heraud and Pat Turner do a very funny song on this theme, except that it involves vacuum cleaners rather than steel pipe.

Subject: RE: Song Challenge... involving 'Willy'
From: frogprince
Date: 07 Jan 10 - 04:00 PM

The chorus should be a cinch:

It was Willy, his darlin' willy, what got stuck someplace it shouldn't be.

Subject: RE: Song Challenge... involving 'Willy'
From: Charley Noble
Date: 07 Jan 10 - 05:06 PM

To the tune of "What Do We Do with the Baby-o":

Oh what do we do with the willy-o?
What do we do with the willy-o?
What do we do with the willy-o?
It's jammed in a pipe-o.

Bring a Sawzall, rev it up!
Bring a Sawzall, rev it up!
Bring a Sawzall, rev it up!
Hack it off with one big swup!

That's what we'll do with the willy-o,
That's what we'll do with the willy-o,
That's what we'll do with the willy-o,
It's stuck in the pipe-o.

But what'll we do if the Sawzall slips?
What'll we do if the Sawzall slips?
What'll we do if the Sawzall slips?
Who would want his willy clipped?

Oh what do we do with the willy-o?
What do we do with the willy-o?
What do we do with the willy-o?
It's jammed in a pipe-o.

Bring a grinder with a steady hand,
Bring a grinder with a steady hand,
Bring a grinder with a steady hand,
Your fame will spread throughout the land!

That's what we'll do with the willy-o,
That's what we'll do with the willy-o,
That's what we'll do with the willy-o,
It's stuck in the pipe-o.

The grinder worked, willy's unstuck,
The grinder worked, willy's unstuck,
The grinder worked, willy's unstuck,
Now didn't that work take some pluck!

That's what we did with the willy-o,
That's what we did with the willy-o,
That's what we did with the willy-o,
Now it can go to sleepy-o!

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Song Challenge... involving 'Willy'
From: semi-submersible
Date: 07 Jan 10 - 05:14 PM

Remember all those the little four-line cautionary rhymes about innumerable dismal fates befalling Little Willy, George, Mary, etc. - "grues" as Robert Louis Stevenson called them? (E.g. "Willy was a chemist's son/But Willy is no more,/For what he thought was H2O/Was H2SO4.")

Little Willy's hiding place
In a snug, constricted space
Swelled his head so full and stout
That firemen had to cut him out.

Subject: RE: Song Challenge... involving 'Willy'
From: Jeri
Date: 07 Jan 10 - 05:29 PM

Where have you been all the day, my boy Willie?
Where have you been all the day, Willie won't you tell me now?
I have been all the day trying some pipe for to lay
But it's too small to be taken from the plumber

Did it fit just like a wife, my boy Willie?
Did it fit just like a wife, Willie won't you tell me now?
The choice nearly changed my life, between a grinder and a knife
For it was too small to be taken from the plumber

Subject: RE: Song Challenge... involving 'Willy'
From: Young Buchan
Date: 07 Jan 10 - 05:46 PM

To the tune of Willie Leonard/Lakes of Killin

It was early one morning Leonard's willy arose
And as usual straight into the plumbing it goes.
But finding it stuck, he let nobody know,
But straightaway off to out-patients did go.

He walked and he walked till he reached A&E
And the first nurse he met there had no sympathy.
She cried, "Go back young Leonard, do not venture in,
Sister's had a bad night and is moody as sin."

But Leonard stripped off down as far as the tube
And he called and he called for a bottle of lube.
But Sister just answered, "I've made my decision.
Get a man with a blow-torch – advanced circumcision!"

It was later that morning his girl-friend came there
But all she could smell was roast pork and burnt hair.
She called out as best as she could through the pong,
"Was there no-one at all that could save my boy's dong?"

So come all you young fellows wherever you be,
Though you be as young, long and handsome as he,
Remember Len's willy, steer clear of the tap:
You'd be better off risking a dose of the clap.

Subject: RE: Song Challenge... involving 'Willy'
From: Cuilionn
Date: 07 Jan 10 - 09:12 PM

The Ballad of Willie-O (on an old pipe tune)

My Willie pales, it's sore and tender
And where it lies, I'm 'shamed to know
For seven firemen, I've been constantly waiting
To free my burning willie-o

One night as Medics lay a-sleeping
A knock came to the surg'ry door
And there they saw a Silly standing
His two pale cheeks as white as snow

O Medics here, ne'er mind my blushes
My dignity I lost long ago
My hopes of comfort, the pipes did dash them
I'll make no boast of my Willie-O

O Medics near, the pipe is breaking
I fear its time for me to go
I am leaving you quite broken-willied
Too numb to strum my Willie-O

Oh organ-grinders might seem funny
And pipe organs make music-o
I would whimper an ode to the Firemen's Union
For they brought me back my Willie-O

Subject: RE: Song Challenge... involving 'Willy'
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 08 Jan 10 - 02:44 AM

Suppose I had better do one myself!

A Middle aged man from Hampshire,
Went walking with Willie one day.
But found Willie had, a mind of his own
and only wanted to play.

Willie was quite an adventurer,
As many will already know.
He would climb into the smallest of space,
In places others won't go.

Willie was like a good soldier,
Some days quite erect he would stand.
But some days he'd hang his head in shame,
And then he would need a hand.

But this day he stood quite proudly,
A challenge gave him some hype.
Without a pause he climbed inside a piece
Of stainless steel pipe.

But such was his pride, young Willie,
He simply ran out of luck.
He was so swelled up with his manly thoughts,
The silly sod got stuck.

The firemen deployed horn and blue light,
As to Willies aid they rushed.
When they arrived at that fateful scene,
Poor Willies pride was crushed.

They used the grinder to cut the pipe,
To release a thankful Willie.
His pride was hurt and he was quite bruised,
And he felt a little bit silly.

The moral to this story is,
If you take your Willie out.
And he sees a hole that's unsuitable please
Do your best to keep him out!!!!!

Subject: RE: Song Challenge... involving 'Willy'
From: GUEST,MC Fat
Date: 08 Jan 10 - 03:22 AM

Perhaps something along the lines of....
Will you still love your Willy Old Lad

Subject: RE: Song Challenge... involving 'Willy'
From: Charley Noble
Date: 08 Jan 10 - 08:07 AM

"organ-grinders"

Lovely wording!

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Song Challenge... involving 'Willy'
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 08 Jan 10 - 08:39 AM

No Willies were harmed in the making of this song. With hardly any need to change the lyrics.

Piece of Pipe (McCartney/Gnomo)

I LIGHT A CANDLE TO OUR LOVE,
IN LOVE OUR PROBLEMS DISAPPEAR.
BUT ALL IN ALL WE SOON DISCOVER
THAT ONE AND ONE IS ALL WE LONG TO HEAR.

ALL 'ROUND THE WORLD,
LITTLE CHILDREN BEING BORN TO THE WORLD.
GOT TO GIVE THEM ALL WE CAN 'TIL THE WAR IS WON,
THEN WILL THE WORK BE DONE.

HELP THEM TO LEARN (help them to learn)
SONGS OF JOY INSTEAD OF BURN, BABY, BURN. (burn, baby, burn)
LET US SHOW THEM HOW TO PLAY
THE PIECE OF PIPE,
PLAY (with) THE PIECE OF PIPE.

OOCH-OOCH-OOCH-OOCH,
OOCH-OOCH-OOCH.

:D (eG)

Subject: RE: Song Challenge... involving 'Willy'
From: GUEST,TJ in San Diego
Date: 08 Jan 10 - 11:58 AM

I have been dying to ask our friends in the U.K. about a certain U.S. made film that received many awards a few years ago. Specifically, how it was titled and marketed there. It was the film about the orca (killer whale) which was repatriated and released into the wild - "Free Willy." Was the name changed to protect the innnocent? For the linguistically creative among us, there might be another verse or two relating to this.

Several years back, I recall being chastised by a young man of the British persuasion who caught me in a very American slang term when I invited a young lady to "get off her fanny and get to work." Surely there are other potentials for faux pas such as that built in to our respective vernacular.

Subject: RE: Song Challenge... involving 'Willy'
From: Phil Edwards
Date: 08 Jan 10 - 12:47 PM

TJ - it was OK, they changed the name to Free Dick...

(No, they didn't - they just brazened it out. Not unlike the guy we were talking about, now I think of it.)

Subject: RE: Song Challenge... involving 'Willy'
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 08 Jan 10 - 01:28 PM

TJ... Two US students (Child Care) were on placement at the place I was working at. My manager suggested I take them out to show them the night life locally... which I did and whilst out I asked if they had been anywhere of historical interest in the UK... The answer was negative and I offered to take them out for the whole of the following day..... They agreed and I told them I would"Knock them up" at 7am.. which in the UK means give them a call... of course they laughed much and eventually explained that "Knocking them up" meant getting them pregnant in US. That evening we went to a night club... and one of the girls leaned over to me and asked "Do you shag"?? which in the UK means 'do you have sex?' .... it was my turn to laugh. The shag of course was a dance but unheard of here at that time........
Best wishes, Mike.

Subject: RE: Song Challenge... involving 'Willy'
From: agingcynic
Date: 08 Jan 10 - 01:59 PM

Willie put his armor on
And marched about like Ivanho
But then the fit became too tight
And Willie's lifeblood ceased to flow

Like all good knights of chivalry
He looked to heaven for his fix
A voice came down from far on high
"Some men are too dumb to have dicks"

instrumental break

repeat second chorus, tag last two lines ad nauseum

Subject: RE: Song Challenge... involving 'Willy'
From: Steve Gardham
Date: 08 Jan 10 - 03:03 PM

Wonderful thread! What talent is here! I haven't laughed so much since my mate got his ....... No I won't!

My friend Billy had a ten-foot willy
And he showed it to the girl next door.
She thought it was a snake so she hit it with a rake,
And now it's only four-foot-four.

1950s Yorkshire.