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Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!

Related threads:
BS: Funny Bumper Stickers - Part FOUR (384)
BS: Funny Bumper Stickers - Three! (101) (closed)
BS: Amish bumper sticker (13) (closed)
BS: American Bumper Stickers (75) (closed)
BS: Funny Bumpers Stickers - III (95) (closed)
Funny Bumper Stickers! (137)


katlaughing 29 Jul 99 - 06:33 PM
campfire 30 Jul 99 - 12:28 AM
Lonesome EJ 30 Jul 99 - 01:42 AM
Marion 30 Jul 99 - 10:53 AM
Angus McSweeney 30 Jul 99 - 12:12 PM
katlaughing 30 Jul 99 - 12:59 PM
Bryant 30 Jul 99 - 03:20 PM
Banjer 30 Jul 99 - 06:32 PM
Celtic-End Singer 30 Jul 99 - 08:13 PM
WyoWoman 31 Jul 99 - 11:10 AM
Banjer 31 Jul 99 - 02:39 PM
Bev and Jerry 01 Aug 99 - 01:46 AM
katlaughing 29 Aug 99 - 01:41 PM
joeler 29 Aug 99 - 01:52 PM
j0_77 29 Aug 99 - 02:13 PM
Jen 29 Aug 99 - 03:25 PM
ddw 29 Aug 99 - 05:01 PM
kendall morse (don't use) 29 Aug 99 - 05:21 PM
kendall morse (don't use) 29 Aug 99 - 05:23 PM
Banjer 29 Aug 99 - 05:57 PM
emily rain 29 Aug 99 - 10:17 PM
Sandy Paton 29 Aug 99 - 10:34 PM
Bugsy 30 Aug 99 - 03:32 AM
JedMarum 30 Aug 99 - 09:48 AM
JedMarum 30 Aug 99 - 09:54 AM
paddymac 31 Aug 99 - 12:09 AM
ddw 31 Aug 99 - 12:32 AM
Mayberry 31 Aug 99 - 05:10 PM
Pink 31 Aug 99 - 05:55 PM
katlaughing 20 Sep 99 - 04:40 PM
JedMarum 20 Sep 99 - 04:46 PM
Magpie 20 Sep 99 - 04:54 PM
sophocleese 20 Sep 99 - 05:02 PM
katlaughing 20 Sep 99 - 05:06 PM
JedMarum 20 Sep 99 - 05:16 PM
kendall morse (don't use) 20 Sep 99 - 10:43 PM
haldavis 20 Sep 99 - 10:54 PM
Lyle 20 Sep 99 - 11:14 PM
Jack (Who is called Jack) 20 Sep 99 - 11:37 PM
DonMeixner 21 Sep 99 - 12:26 AM
Ted from Australia 21 Sep 99 - 02:46 AM
DonMeixner 21 Sep 99 - 01:52 PM
kendall morse (don't use) 21 Sep 99 - 08:24 PM
kendall morse (don't use) 21 Sep 99 - 08:33 PM
KathWestra 22 Sep 99 - 11:22 AM
K'tildas 22 Sep 99 - 12:13 PM
lamarca 22 Sep 99 - 01:25 PM
Bert 22 Sep 99 - 01:52 PM
KathWestra 22 Sep 99 - 02:49 PM
jaguar 22 Sep 99 - 07:31 PM
Jeremiah McCaw 23 Sep 99 - 11:12 AM
Liam Devlin 23 Sep 99 - 11:31 AM
23 Sep 99 - 02:33 PM
Nic 23 Sep 99 - 03:28 PM
radriano 23 Sep 99 - 05:25 PM
radriano 23 Sep 99 - 06:12 PM
kendall morse (don't use) 23 Sep 99 - 08:20 PM
lamarca 23 Sep 99 - 10:28 PM
DonPer 23 Sep 99 - 10:54 PM
MudGuard 24 Sep 99 - 01:31 AM
Harvey Gerst 24 Sep 99 - 03:53 PM
Davey 24 Sep 99 - 04:18 PM
katlaughing 10 Oct 99 - 11:48 PM
Ppatty 11 Oct 99 - 09:19 AM
Mbo 11 Oct 99 - 09:36 AM
Ely 11 Oct 99 - 01:09 PM
katlaughing 11 Oct 99 - 01:29 PM
sophocleese 11 Oct 99 - 03:42 PM
Micca 11 Oct 99 - 07:35 PM
Larry B. 12 Oct 99 - 11:22 AM
jaguar 12 Oct 99 - 01:50 PM
annamill 12 Oct 99 - 02:01 PM
Pete Peterson 12 Oct 99 - 02:20 PM
katlaughing 12 Oct 99 - 02:42 PM
ddw 12 Oct 99 - 10:21 PM
Lowden Unruly 12 Oct 99 - 10:38 PM
eggman 12 Oct 99 - 11:52 PM
sophocleese 13 Oct 99 - 11:28 AM
katlaughing 22 Nov 99 - 06:09 PM
Micca 22 Nov 99 - 07:44 PM
katlaughing 22 Nov 99 - 08:22 PM
Liz the Squeak 23 Nov 99 - 08:04 AM
Wesley S 23 Nov 99 - 08:56 AM
Davey 23 Nov 99 - 09:04 AM
Midchuck 23 Nov 99 - 09:52 AM
aldus 23 Nov 99 - 10:46 AM
doug 23 Nov 99 - 11:45 AM
MIKERSIX 23 Nov 99 - 11:48 AM
Paul G. 23 Nov 99 - 12:19 PM
Blackcat2 24 Nov 99 - 10:28 AM
Wesley S 24 Nov 99 - 10:36 AM
Fortunato 24 Nov 99 - 01:12 PM
Blackcat2 24 Nov 99 - 01:22 PM
Storytlr 24 Nov 99 - 01:58 PM
Marion 24 Nov 99 - 02:02 PM
Bill 24 Nov 99 - 06:04 PM
Caitrin 24 Nov 99 - 11:11 PM
Frankie 25 Nov 99 - 07:44 AM
Liz the Squeak 25 Nov 99 - 10:15 AM
katlaughing 02 Dec 99 - 08:38 PM
katlaughing 31 Jan 00 - 08:59 PM
Sorcha 31 Jan 00 - 09:43 PM
Dave (the ancient mariner) 31 Jan 00 - 10:04 PM
Amos 31 Jan 00 - 10:07 PM
Troll 31 Jan 00 - 10:08 PM
katlaughing 31 Jan 00 - 11:52 PM
Amos 01 Feb 00 - 12:53 AM
Sorcha 01 Feb 00 - 11:23 AM
Peg 01 Feb 00 - 11:27 AM
Amos 01 Feb 00 - 11:34 AM
katlaughing 01 Feb 00 - 11:51 AM
Troll 01 Feb 00 - 01:24 PM
GUEST,Brian 01 Feb 00 - 01:54 PM
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Rincon Roy 02 Feb 00 - 08:06 AM
GUEST,Taliesn 30 Aug 02 - 04:40 PM
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Subject: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: katlaughing
Date: 29 Jul 99 - 06:33 PM

Click for the 'PermaThread™: List of all joke threads'


Since the other was getting close to 150 postings, I thought I'd start another.

Question Authority....Ask Me About Anything!

Get in, Sit Down
Shut up and Hang on!


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: campfire
Date: 30 Jul 99 - 12:28 AM

It wasn't a bumper sticker, but a T-shirt -well, maybe that's just different bumpers ;) - that said:

My Next Husband Will be NORMAL

campfire


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 30 Jul 99 - 01:42 AM

Not a bumper sticker, but a graffito I saw on a restroom wall many years ago.In an angst-ridden scrawl of black ink someone had written " My Mother made me a homosexual." Underneath, someone else had written " If I buy the yarn will she make me one too?"


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: Marion
Date: 30 Jul 99 - 10:53 AM

How about...

Love globally - lust locally.


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: Angus McSweeney
Date: 30 Jul 99 - 12:12 PM

Saw this one just last week:

When guns are outlawed Only outlaws will accidentally shoot their children!

Steve Goodman played at Charlottes's Web in Rockford, Il, circa 1973 and commented "Did you hear about Dick Nixon? He saw "Deep Throat" three times and still couldn't get it down pat (Pat)!

(I should maybe start a list of people I've offended today.)


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: katlaughing
Date: 30 Jul 99 - 12:59 PM

No offense taken here, Angus. I am still laughing too hard!


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: Bryant
Date: 30 Jul 99 - 03:20 PM

This one's for the scientific crowd:

(On a RED bumper sticker)

"If this bumper sticker is blue you're driving way too fast."


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: Banjer
Date: 30 Jul 99 - 06:32 PM

Since we seem to be straying from bumper stickers my all time favorite T-shirt has a picture of a reclining dog, looks like a great dane, with his one paw in the universal salute (shooting a bird, for the uncultured among us) and the quote below him says 'Fetch This'


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: Celtic-End Singer
Date: 30 Jul 99 - 08:13 PM

All-time favourite, in the terrible days of Thatcherism, but equally applicable in the terrible days of Blairism:

"Guy Fawkes, where are you when we need you?"


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: WyoWoman
Date: 31 Jul 99 - 11:10 AM

I have a lovely tee shirt that reads, "Fish naked: You might hook the big one."

I forgot I had it on the other day when I rode my bike downtown and was standing on the sidewalk talking with friends when I noticed a mother sort of hustling her two sons, about 8 and 9 I'd say, past me with a very unappreciative look on her face. The boys seemed to think it was funny...

WW


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: Banjer
Date: 31 Jul 99 - 02:39 PM

That just 'goes to show ya'; Momma's mind was in the gutter and the two boys enjoyed a good play on words...I don't know if this is a repeat or not but the bumper sticker 'du jour' is the one that says, "Driver Carries No Money, Wife and Kids Have It All"


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: Bev and Jerry
Date: 01 Aug 99 - 01:46 AM

We've been on tour for three weeks so we didn't read the first thread. If this has already been posted, forgive us.

I may not agree with your bumper sticker but I will defend to the death your right to stick it.

Bev and Jerry


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: katlaughing
Date: 29 Aug 99 - 01:41 PM

Seen at Kmart, yesterday, on the back of an elderly, white-haired woman's wheelchiar. An obviosly lively woman, scooting herself along, with her feet, directing the employee who was designated her shopping helper:

FBI- FULL Blooded Irish!

She was an absolute doll! I told her I loved it and so would several of my friends. She was a talker, gift of gab and mind intact. We visited for quite a few minutes, with her telling me which "home" she lives at, how she orders up a bus ride and takes off to shop, on her own; about her brother who had a mechanic shop; and her maiden name: Mehan (I think).

Anyway, I think we both brightened each other's day and when I told her my name was Katey, she started singing "Kkkkkaty, beautiful Katy" to me! Made me really happy to think I knew of others who would appreciate the story and the bumper sticker! So thanks again for being the great friends ya all are!

kat(ey)


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: joeler
Date: 29 Aug 99 - 01:52 PM

On the back of a double tandem truck hauling away dirt form another freeway being built.

"I you don't like my driving, call 1-800-eat-sh-t. (didn't want to offend anybody)


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: j0_77
Date: 29 Aug 99 - 02:13 PM

Chineses Plastic Junk 4 u MAll-WART USA


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: Jen
Date: 29 Aug 99 - 03:25 PM

I have one: "Question Reality". Thought it was appropriate.

I've seen some good ones, but I'll have to keep my eyes open for them and remember to write them down. There's a Shakespearian quote I'd love to put on a t-shirt: "There's small choice in rotten apples".*g* If I wore it at a certain place, some of the people there would ROTFL.

Jen


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: ddw
Date: 29 Aug 99 - 05:01 PM

Saw one a couple of days ago that said: BEER; Getting ugly people laid since Egyptian times.

ddw


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: kendall morse (don't use)
Date: 29 Aug 99 - 05:21 PM

the funniest bumper sticker I ever saw was during Watergate.. IMPEACH THE COX SACKER


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: kendall morse (don't use)
Date: 29 Aug 99 - 05:23 PM

and, of course, Honk if you hate noise


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: Banjer
Date: 29 Aug 99 - 05:57 PM

This is the first time I have tried to copy and paste from my word processor to the forum. If it don't work my apologies in advance. It's a story that I received by e-mail that ties in with the "Honk if you love _____" series.

HONK if you LOVE JESUS


The other day I went to the local religious book store where I saw a HONK IF YOU LOVE JESUS bumper sticker. I bought it and put it on the back of my car, and I am really glad I did. What an uplifting experience followed!!

I was stopped at the light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord and didn't notice that the light had changed. The bumper sticker really worked! I found lots of people who love Jesus. Why...the guy behind me started to honk like crazy. He must REALLY love the Lord because pretty soon he leaned out the window and yelled "Jesus Christ!" as loud as he could. It was like a football game with him shouting, "GO, Jesus Christ, GO!".

Everyone else started honking too, so I leaned out the window and waved and smiled to all those loving people. There must have been some guy from Florida back there because I heard him yelling something about a sunny beach, and saw him waving in a funny wave with only his middle finger stuck up in the air. I asked my kids what this meant. They kind of squirmed and looked at each other, giggled and told me it was the Hawaiian good luck sign. So I leaned out my window and gave him the good luck sign back. Several cars behind, a very nice black man stepped out of his car and yelled something. I couldn't hear him very well, but it sounded like "Mother Trucker" or "Mother's from there". Maybe he was from Florida, too. He must really love the Lord. A couple of people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and began walking toward me. I bet they wanted to pray, but just then I noticed the light had changed, and I stepped on the gas. And a good thing I did, because I was the only driver to get across the intersection. I looked back at them standing there, leaned out the window, gave them a big smile and held up the Hawaiian good luck sign as I drove away.

Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks.


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: emily rain
Date: 29 Aug 99 - 10:17 PM

*snicker* such luscious nastiness.

my mom confessed to me recently that for a long time she thought the jesus fish (without the letters, darwinian legs, etc.) was the logo for some car company. i told her i thought that in and of itself could make a great bumper sticker.


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: Sandy Paton
Date: 29 Aug 99 - 10:34 PM

I think it was Erasmus who said: "When I have money, I buy books. If I have any left over, I buy food and clothing." (T-shirt from PBS).

My favorite used-book storekeeper says to Caroline, "Think what he could be addicted to!"


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: Bugsy
Date: 30 Aug 99 - 03:32 AM

On the rear bumper -

"Save Gas - Fart In A Jar!"

"Take Me Drunk - I'm Home Again!"

"You Thunk I'm Drink - Didn't I?"

Bugsy


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: JedMarum
Date: 30 Aug 99 - 09:48 AM

A few of my favorites follow:

Imagine Swirled Peas

From the Nixon/Agnew days I remember, The Moral Majority is neither and now we have its more updated version: The Christian Right is neither

But I think my all time favorite is the timeless classic twist on the 'pearls before swine parable', Never try to teach a pig to sing; you won't be successful and you'll only annoy the pig.


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: JedMarum
Date: 30 Aug 99 - 09:54 AM

... and if y'all will indulge just one minor thread creep digression;

I was sitting in the stall at a men's room at DFW airport when I noticed, among the usual homophobic scribblings, one 'author' had written simply Jesus Saves ... another budding literary genius had scribbled in beneath this comment (presumably some time much later) the words, and Lineacre scores on the rebound!. Apparently this is not an uncommon English one-liner, but it struck me as a bit unusual for American bathroom graffiti.


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: paddymac
Date: 31 Aug 99 - 12:09 AM

and from the Piney woods of the Florida Panhandle "Holvnwvt Momes". (the "v" is sounded like "uh"). It's Muskogee Creek and means (roughly) - "sh-t happens".


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: ddw
Date: 31 Aug 99 - 12:32 AM

Liam's post reminded me of something I saw on a john wall in the math and sciences building at Cleveland State U. back in the mid '60s.

AND GOD SAID
followed by a long formula that ended with E=MC2
AND THEN THERE WAS LIGHT.

ddw


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: Mayberry
Date: 31 Aug 99 - 05:10 PM

I always wanted to make a bumper sticker that said "Honk if you think I'm doing something stupid!".

The best graffitti I ever saw was in a truck stop mens'room cubicle:

Truckers do it Better!

(different script): Do What!

(first script): Don't Know! Too Busy drivin' the Damn Truck!


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: Pink
Date: 31 Aug 99 - 05:55 PM

Seen on a beat up pick-up

"Keep back 300', driver dips Copenhagen Snuff."

"Don't tailgate me, or I'll flick a booger on your windshield!"

"Don't piss me off, I'm runnig out of places to hide the bodies."

"My Mom says I'm special."

"Keep honking, I'm reloading!"

"If you want to finish in 2nd place, follow me!"

(blurry letters) "What speed limit?"


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: katlaughing
Date: 20 Sep 99 - 04:40 PM

"Housework Makes the Mind Dull"


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: JedMarum
Date: 20 Sep 99 - 04:46 PM

... but a dull mind doesn;t mind housework!


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: Magpie
Date: 20 Sep 99 - 04:54 PM

Re. Paddymack "sh-t happens"

Didn't you know? Sh-t doesn't happen, sh-t is caused!

Magpie


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: sophocleese
Date: 20 Sep 99 - 05:02 PM

I have a t-shirt that reads; "Bad Cop No Donut". I did actually wear it into a donut shop filled with police officers. I was on trip somewhere and the first place I headed for in the shop was the ladies. When I come out several of the people were snickering and staring at me. I couldn't figure it out at first. I checked my shorts, my hair, my glasses then I realized it was my shirt. OOps! Most of them thought it was funny, two of them asked me where they could get one.


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: katlaughing
Date: 20 Sep 99 - 05:06 PM

SophoC, I've seen that as a bumper sticker. Another related one is the DARE logo, from the anti-drug program, only instead of saying "DARE" and underneath that "To keep kids off drugs", it says "DARE...to keep cops off donuts!"

NOI (no offense intended) to any cop Mudders.

But, liam, do we have to have the housework in order to create the dull mind?*G*

katlaughing


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: JedMarum
Date: 20 Sep 99 - 05:16 PM

dull minds aren't created, I think, kat - they just happen (perhaps much the same way as sh*t happens).

I once saw a clever graffiti conversation written along the wall of a public entrance to the men and women's room at a restauraunt in Framingham Massachusetts. It read;

Women get liberated. Make him sleep in the wet spot!the equally clever, and presumably equally liberated retort penned beneath it read;

Liberated men prefer sleeping on the wet spot!


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: kendall morse (don't use)
Date: 20 Sep 99 - 10:43 PM

how about STOP GLOBAL WHINNING


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: haldavis
Date: 20 Sep 99 - 10:54 PM

Honk If You're Illiterate

my favorite, seen on the front of a VW minibus while gazing out the window at a feminist science fiction convention,


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: Lyle
Date: 20 Sep 99 - 11:14 PM

On the back of a leather jacket worn by a man riding a motorcycle: "If you can read this, my girlfriend fell off."


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: Jack (Who is called Jack)
Date: 20 Sep 99 - 11:37 PM

I don't know if I put this in the last bumper sticker thread.

About 10 years back, David Duke (remember him) ex-imperial Wizard of the Klu-Klux-Klan, claimed he had 'changed his tune', he tried to run for Guv'ner of the great state of Louisiana as a member of the Repubican . The Louisiana constitution calls for an open primary with the top two finishers to fight it out in the general election. Well much to the chagrin of the GOP, and mortification of old G.W. Bush in his taxpayer funded digs up on Pennsylvania Avenue, Mr. Duke managed to finish second behind the right honerable Democratic Ex-Guv, one Edwin Edwards, who's history of self-serving patronage and corruption in office had attained a legendary status on the delta second only to Huey Long. So come November, the good citizens of Louisiana had managed to put themselves in the unenviable position of having to choose between a Klan Wizard (The Hood) or a political criminal (The Crook). The running joke was 'Who ya gonna vote for, The Hood or The Crook".

Which gave rise to the greatest political bumper sticker in the history of american politics IMHO.

Vote for the Crook--Its Important!


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: DonMeixner
Date: 21 Sep 99 - 12:26 AM

While traveling with the band to a gig in the Poconos we were very slowly passed by an elderly couple who were busy in the front seat of their car conversing in American Sign Language. I can read very little of it but I felt like I was eaves dropping so I looked away. As they passed I noticed their bumper sticker read " Honk if you don't like my driving".


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: Ted from Australia
Date: 21 Sep 99 - 02:46 AM

On A Tee Shirt( want one)
"I'm not an Alchohioli
I'm a drunk
(in small font)Alcholics go to meetings

and for the fisherpersons




Just one more cast . ( then in progressivly smaller fonts)
Just one more cast
Just one more cast
Just one more cast
Just one more cast
Just one more cast
Just one more cast
Just one more cast
Just one more cast



Regards Ted. ,


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: DonMeixner
Date: 21 Sep 99 - 01:52 PM

I have always wanted to have some stickers printed up that would be of A #12 x 1 1/2" phillips head threaded fastener. The sticker would be about 1 1/2" in diameter. It would cover the "luv hearts" That we see on bumber stickers realating ones affection for their pets. I imagine a few heads might be turned along the highway.

A sticker of the spade from a deck of cards could have an equal effect. But it might also get cheers from the ASPCA and Peta.

Don


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: kendall morse (don't use)
Date: 21 Sep 99 - 08:24 PM

One of my favorites is: If you can read this.. thank a teacher.


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: kendall morse (don't use)
Date: 21 Sep 99 - 08:33 PM

Also.. A working man voting for a republican, is like a chicken voting for Colonel Sanders.


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: KathWestra
Date: 22 Sep 99 - 11:22 AM

Eschew Obfuscation

Illiterate? Write Us for Help!

and one that I actually broke down and stuck to my very own bumper:
I Have Given Up My Search for Truth
and am Looking for a Good Fantasy


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: K'tildas
Date: 22 Sep 99 - 12:13 PM

Saw last week on car with gov't plates: "Where are we going and why are we in this handbasket"


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: lamarca
Date: 22 Sep 99 - 01:25 PM

Then there's the other one that both Ms. Westra and I had to buy and put on our cars:
Visualize Using Your Turn Signals

or the one we gave lorraine:
I believe in dragons, good men and other fantasy creatures (not sure her husband appreciated it....)


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: Bert
Date: 22 Sep 99 - 01:52 PM

Well, if he was a REAL man he would have laughed.


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: KathWestra
Date: 22 Sep 99 - 02:49 PM

I notice Lorraine didn't stick it (to her car). Maybe lamarca and I thought it was funnier than she did. (In case you guys didn't know, Charlie Baum, Lorraine, lamarca, and I are all neighbors in the Silver Spring "folk ghetto.") Kath


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: jaguar
Date: 22 Sep 99 - 07:31 PM

I personally want to have a collection of fish on my car. A Darwin fish, a Witch fish, a UFO fish, an Alien fish, a Cuthulu fish...


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: Jeremiah McCaw
Date: 23 Sep 99 - 11:12 AM

Eschew Obfuscation!


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: Liam Devlin
Date: 23 Sep 99 - 11:31 AM

kendall - many of us working men and women vote Republican, but I like the bit about the chickens!


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From:
Date: 23 Sep 99 - 02:33 PM

chickens?


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: Nic
Date: 23 Sep 99 - 03:28 PM

F*ck Obscenity!


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: radriano
Date: 23 Sep 99 - 05:25 PM

I've had the idea for a while to have a bumper sticker made that says:

STUTTERS DO IT REPEATEDLY

No, I'm not just being mean - I speak from experience!

radriano


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: radriano
Date: 23 Sep 99 - 06:12 PM

Sorry, that last entry should read:

STUTTERERS DO IT REPEATEDLY

radriano


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: kendall morse (don't use)
Date: 23 Sep 99 - 08:20 PM

Another.. left winger: DEMOCRATS.. THE FOLKS WHO GAVE YOU WEEKENDS, OVERTIME..SOCIAL SECURITY, AND WOMENS SUFFERAGE


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: lamarca
Date: 23 Sep 99 - 10:28 PM

One I just saw today on a car being driven by a young woman:

"This delinquent is having sex with your honor student"


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: DonPer
Date: 23 Sep 99 - 10:54 PM

My favorite is "Help Stamp Out Bumper Stickers"


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: MudGuard
Date: 24 Sep 99 - 01:31 AM

Saw one on the passenger door of a taxi yesterday:

Where do you want to go today?

I can't remember where I have read that slogan before ;-)


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: Harvey Gerst
Date: 24 Sep 99 - 03:53 PM

Too long for a bumper sticker, but should be:

I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather; not screaming like his passengers.


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: Davey
Date: 24 Sep 99 - 04:18 PM

Saw a T-shirt with a picture of an open manhole... On one side of the manhole was a pair of dark glasses and a cane, while on the other side of the manhole stood a seeing eye dog, paws over his mouth, saying "Oops"


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: katlaughing
Date: 10 Oct 99 - 11:48 PM

Just saw this the other day on a car here in Wyoming:

Wyoming...it's not the end of the earth, but you can see it from here!


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: Ppatty
Date: 11 Oct 99 - 09:19 AM

From a gym drop out

"Turning 40 is exercise enough"


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: Mbo
Date: 11 Oct 99 - 09:36 AM

A personal favorite of mine is "Have You Flogged Yer Crew Today?" As a resident of Greenville, North Carolina, and an East Carolina University student, I can tell you that there is not much in this town that isn't Pirate-related (you might have noticed our team, the ECU Pirates were ranked No.16 in the NCAA football polls, but since our loss on Saturday to Southern Miss(evil!) we'll probably drop from the rankings. :-{ By the way, the Car Talk guys (Tom & Ray Maliozzi also known as Click & Clack--The Tappitt Brothers) from the NPR program have had some good bumper stickers like: "Vote for Click & Clack The Tappitt Brothers: Unencumbered by the Thought Process" and there newest "Get Off the Phone & Drive!" --Mbo


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: Ely
Date: 11 Oct 99 - 01:09 PM

Give a freak a ride

Reunite Gondwanaland (an old geologist joke)

Proud parent of a crazy-ass militia member.

I didn't vote for his daddy, either (but that means nothing outside of Texas)

Don't blame me, I voted for Willie Nelson.

My mother once got us to a friend's Quaker wedding on the Rice University campus (incredibly confusing if you aren't familiar with it) by following the bumper stickers, "Quakers: Witnesses for Peace since 1660", "Practice Random Acts of Kindness and Senseless Beauty" (or whatever the wording should be), several Darwin fish, "Clinton/Gore" or "Vote Democrat".


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: katlaughing
Date: 11 Oct 99 - 01:29 PM

I love the Quaker ones! All of the above are great! Just saw another one:

Next time you think you are perfect, try walking on water.


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: sophocleese
Date: 11 Oct 99 - 03:42 PM

I used to have a button that read: "I am a Quaker, in case of emergency please, BE QUIET!" There was also the favourite "Fox Off!" as well.


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: Micca
Date: 11 Oct 99 - 07:35 PM

A recent T-shirt (specially printed, one off) said in large letters "Error 404" and in smaller letters " the person you require is not available on this server, Piss off and annoy someone else"


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: Larry B.
Date: 12 Oct 99 - 11:22 AM

Magpie and Paddymack: Re: Sh*t Happens

Coming back late on this; apparently the thread went dormant shortly before I found the MudCat--

Misfortune happens; it only becomes sh*t if you swallow it and don't use it all.

LB


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: jaguar
Date: 12 Oct 99 - 01:50 PM

Mmmm... another thought, for those of you who would recognize this sort of thing, I have a bumper sticker somewhere that says "Elder Gods, Old Ones? Bunch of malarky! Hastur, Hastur, Hastur. See? Nothing hap.....*"


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: annamill
Date: 12 Oct 99 - 02:01 PM

As a long ago avid reader of H.P. Lovecraft, that was great. I've often been afraid to name the unnameable... ooooohhh..

Love, annap


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: Pete Peterson
Date: 12 Oct 99 - 02:20 PM

COntinuing the above--

Cthulu Loves YOU (with sauce)


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: katlaughing
Date: 12 Oct 99 - 02:42 PM

LOL! Great! Reminds me of another fav...I think I posted on the other thread, long ago...

Isis! Isis! Ra! Ra! Ra!


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: ddw
Date: 12 Oct 99 - 10:21 PM

At a music festival about 20 years ago I saw a guy walking around who had muscles in places I didn't know there were places. He was wearing a T-shirt with boobs painted on the front and across the back it said "Mr. Dressup."

ddw


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: Lowden Unruly
Date: 12 Oct 99 - 10:38 PM

On the bumper of a rusted out mid-60's Chevy " My Other Car is also a Piece of Shit". LU


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: eggman
Date: 12 Oct 99 - 11:52 PM

Here is my favorite: Engelbert Bumpersticker


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: sophocleese
Date: 13 Oct 99 - 11:28 AM

I recently managed to inadvertently offend another mother at my kid's school. Having overdressed in a hurry I removed my sweater in the playground and revealed my BITCH t-shirt. B - beautiful, I - intelligent, T - talented, C - cunning, H - horny. I apologised and crossed my arms across my chest. The other t-shirt that I haven't got but will someday says "You call me Bitch like its a bad thing."

My mom wears a t-shirt my father got her at a conference, "Scientists should state clearly the theories on which their facts are based." For any geologists in the thread my Dad also brought me two; "Beware! Active Orogenous Zone." and "Subduction leads to Orogeny."


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: katlaughing
Date: 22 Nov 99 - 06:09 PM

Just saw these, today:

Jesus is coming....look busy.

War doesn't prove who's right, only who's left


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: Micca
Date: 22 Nov 99 - 07:44 PM

The ones I've always liked are
Smash Violence now
God send me patience---Quickly
I'm not gay, I just look happy
Stand up for your rites
and a computer one "Only witch programmers use Hex"


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: katlaughing
Date: 22 Nov 99 - 08:22 PM

Those are great! Reminds me of another:

I'm straight, but not narrow-minded


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 23 Nov 99 - 08:04 AM

Good thread, ROTFLMAO, or what ever it is.

My favourite has to be "Don't follow me, I'm lost too"

And a picture of a guy with Richard written on his tee shirt, sticking out of the back of a car, with the slogan "Get your dick out of my boot(trunk)!"

The "I (heart)" series are good, and can lead to things like;

"I (spade) my dog!"

"I (club) seals"

LTS


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: Wesley S
Date: 23 Nov 99 - 08:56 AM

Jeez if you love Honkus

Nuke Gay Whales For Jesus

Honk if you've never seen a UZI shooting out a car window


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: Davey
Date: 23 Nov 99 - 09:04 AM

On a black T-Shirt with the familiar CK initials, were the words, Completely Klueless.


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: Midchuck
Date: 23 Nov 99 - 09:52 AM

Somewhere I saw for sale little round stickers with a screw - just a plain old roundhead wood screw - on them, for sticking over the hearts on other peoples' stickers...


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: aldus
Date: 23 Nov 99 - 10:46 AM

My favourite is a bit of graffitti I once saw in a phone box. Scrawled in lipstick just above the phone was the following....Oedipus...call your mother. I also liked anoth bit of Graffittie where some had written.. God is dead"--Nietzche, followed by.....Nietzche is dead... God.


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: doug
Date: 23 Nov 99 - 11:45 AM

dissleskiks youniyt


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: MIKERSIX
Date: 23 Nov 99 - 11:48 AM

on a wall in a college hallway:

"Question everything"

underneath:

"Why?"


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: Paul G.
Date: 23 Nov 99 - 12:19 PM

To Ely..."I didn't vote for his dad either" also plays well in Florida now with Jeb Bush as our Governor...

One I remember from the late 60's..."Fighting for peace in Vietnam is like f***ing for virginity"


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: Blackcat2
Date: 24 Nov 99 - 10:28 AM

My favs are:

Get it right - you're a star, get it half right you're a gas giant.

My Goddess gave birth to your God.

Mean people suck - nice people swallow.

and I have a bit of sybology on my car - I (heart)(shamrock)(music notes)

The scariest thing here in Florida is that the Governor and his cabinet approved the new "vanity" license plate "CHOOSE LIFE!" to be for sale. The right wingers say it has nothing to do with being anti- abortion but the left wingers say if it is only about adoption, why not say something like "Adoption is neato!" Porceeds of the sales go to state approved adoption centers.

pax yall


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: Wesley S
Date: 24 Nov 99 - 10:36 AM

Also from Florida :

If it's called tourist season - why can't we hunt them?

and -

Things are more like they are now than they ever have been before


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: Fortunato
Date: 24 Nov 99 - 01:12 PM

Observed on Wash DC's Freeways:

"I'm PMS and I carry a gun"


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: Blackcat2
Date: 24 Nov 99 - 01:22 PM

There's all sorts of Florida - Anti tourist ones

Welcome to Florida - now go home.

We don't care how you do it up North.

Saw this on a wall in Miami once - Florida - the groin below the Bible Belt.

Wish it was a bumber sticker: Klingon Cultural Attache

WARNING: Hobbit with low blood sugar.

pax yall


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: Storytlr
Date: 24 Nov 99 - 01:58 PM

Bumper sticker on a car with Minnesota plates: "My governor can beat up your governor."


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: Marion
Date: 24 Nov 99 - 02:02 PM

I don't get the "Hobbit with low blood sugar" one.


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: Bill
Date: 24 Nov 99 - 06:04 PM

My child is a South Park elementary school dropout


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: Caitrin
Date: 24 Nov 99 - 11:11 PM

I have a fairly impressive bumper sticker collection on the back of my '88 Volvo station wagon. (19 stickers thus far) Hey, you have to do something to make your mother's former car look cool. My favorite is "Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and good with ketchup."


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: Frankie
Date: 25 Nov 99 - 07:44 AM

A button on a backpack- GUYS, US A CONDOM OR BEAT IT!

A b.s. seen long ago- DICK NIXON BEFORE HE DICKS YOU.

F


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 25 Nov 99 - 10:15 AM

Passion waggon - don't laugh, it may be your daughter in here!!

If the trailers rockin'- someone's trying to steal it...

And seen on the bottom of a jeep 'If you can read this, please turn me over'.

On a motorbike, on the same lines - 'If you can read this, I've lost the sidecar with the wife and the kids...'

Funny story time. My SO's parents had a motorcycle and side car, and four children. Going round a hairpin bend down hill, one child fell out of the sidecar. He rolled down the hill as the bike rounded the corner, and ran him over..... Eveyone was OK, but it was a good 1/2 hour ROTFLMAO when he told me this.

LTS


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: katlaughing
Date: 02 Dec 99 - 08:38 PM

Seen on one car, all together:

Sex on tv won't hurt you....unless you roll off

Beam me back, Merlin

I don't suffer from insanity....I enjoy every minute of it!


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: katlaughing
Date: 31 Jan 00 - 08:59 PM

Refreshing this for Infamous Amos, also have a new one (and I am NOT endorsing hunting!**BG**):

Hunters make better lovers:

They go deeper in the bush,

Shoot more often, and

Eat what they shoot!


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: Sorcha
Date: 31 Jan 00 - 09:43 PM

Lordy lordy kat, that one is bad. Not telling my cop husband--he has enough trouble with doughnuts. How about:
St. Patrick Eats Bagels
I Brake for Reindeer
Fiddling is a Viol Habit
and on a VW Rabbit, white in color, IML8


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: Dave (the ancient mariner)
Date: 31 Jan 00 - 10:04 PM

I have three International signal flags on mine. Numeral 4 Letter Q Numeral 2 (Say 4q2 quickly) Along with a sailor saluting with his middle digit extended. Yours,Aye. Dave


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: Amos
Date: 31 Jan 00 - 10:07 PM

Outrageous! ROFLMAO!

A


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: Troll
Date: 31 Jan 00 - 10:08 PM

Seen in Florida

Save The Whales (collect the entire set) smaller font

troll


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: katlaughing
Date: 31 Jan 00 - 11:52 PM

Those are great! I love the fiddling one, Sorcha! And, Dave the 4q2 is excellent! Troll, ALL the whales????LOL

BTW, Sorcha, I saw that one right here in Casper on, you guessed it, the obligatory Wyomin' *huntin'* truck. Arrrgghh. I 'spose your husband has seen the "Bad Cop, No Donuts" one, eh?


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: Amos
Date: 01 Feb 00 - 12:53 AM

"Officer, your eyes are glazed. Have you been eating doughnuts?"

A


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: Sorcha
Date: 01 Feb 00 - 11:23 AM

Doughnuts wouldn't be so damn funny if it weren't so true! Staff meeting=doughnuts, Health Fair blood draw=doughnuts, morning roll call=doughnuts....... How about "Violin--A Fiddle With an ATTITUDE!" Ah, yes, hunting season in Wyoming, when (young) men's fancies turn to KILLING SOMETHING!! Not a bunper sticker, but do you all know the 4 seasons? Antelope, Deer, Elk and Moose.


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: Peg
Date: 01 Feb 00 - 11:27 AM

My all-time favorites...

My Other Car is a Broom (which I sported on my '76 Volvo wagon for four years)

It Will Be a Great Day When There is a Bake Sale

Cut the Crap, I'm Psychic

Bumper Stickers Are Not Enough

Devil-Worshipping Whore (I also used to have a button that said this...)


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: Amos
Date: 01 Feb 00 - 11:34 AM

I once got my face slapped by a surly police officer who asked me if I were not some kind of Commie Pinko Faggot Bastard Punk. I was not in a position to defend my honor well at the time, since my hands were cuffed, but I answered "No sir!"; he hit me again and said..."Don't lie to me, you Commie Pinko Faggot Bastard Punk!". Guess it would make a good bumper sticker, while I can still remember the words. It was long ago and far away!

A


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: katlaughing
Date: 01 Feb 00 - 11:51 AM

Whew! Amos, sounds nasty.

Yeah, Sorcha, and they invariably end up shooting themselves! Oh, and in my cynical way (I write op/edcolumns on it & other things) there is an all-year round season in Wyomng, too: wives.

Peg, I used to have the broom one, too. I also have a button that I wear at Samhain which says, "Spirits Lifted No Charge."


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: Troll
Date: 01 Feb 00 - 01:24 PM

A local politican used to have one that said:

"Go adead and hit me. My son's a lawyer"

troll


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: GUEST,Brian
Date: 01 Feb 00 - 01:54 PM

I like these:

I love cats, they taste just like chicken!

Using a feather is Kinkey, using the whole chicken is Perverted.

Fear no beer!


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: GUEST,jofield
Date: 01 Feb 00 - 02:09 PM

My Kharma Ran Over My Dogma

They Can Send Me to College, But They Can't Make Me Think

Hey, You -- Out of the Gene Pool

I Do Whatever My Rice Crispies Tell Me To

James in Bristol, RI

Go AmericaOne!


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: Rincon Roy
Date: 02 Feb 00 - 08:06 AM

how about,

STOP THE VIOLINS


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: GUEST,Taliesn
Date: 30 Aug 02 - 04:40 PM

While driving this was seenwritten on the back Harley-rider's helmet that woud only be readable when it the double-seat isn't occupied and causes the question to arise in your mind. (quote) " The bitch fell off"

Forgive me but just I burst out laughing by it's bluntness.


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: topical tom
Date: 16 Oct 07 - 12:09 PM

If you can read this you'd better be a hemmorhoid


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Subject: RE: Funny Bumper Stickers-Second Edition!
From: topical tom
Date: 16 Oct 07 - 12:49 PM

N.B.: the aforementioned was in small letters


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