LilyFestre-Mommy+Daddy+Baby...now on to Life!

Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-)
From: SINSULL
Date: 29 Jan 10 - 05:06 PM

Some of your insides are gone. So is the cancer. If the outsides go (although I don't quite know what that means) small price to pay for living a long happy life.Those of us with 100 lbs to lose think you are amazingly strong and beautiful.

Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 29 Jan 10 - 10:37 AM

Lilbit, don't think about anything but healing right now. You are worrying and that is not good for you.

Deal with other stuff as and when it happens.

Nuff said!

Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-)
From: LilyFestre
Date: 29 Jan 10 - 10:25 AM

I made a call to find out more information and register for the Look Good Feel Better Program that the American Cancer Society has. I had no idea how sad this call would make me feel. :(

My insides are gone and it's very probable that now some of my outsides are going to go too.

OMG.


:(

Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-)
From: SINSULL
Date: 28 Jan 10 - 08:59 PM

Turn that phone OFF when you are sleeping, Michelle. Whoever it is can call back or wait for you to call.

WW must have been an "up" moment. Over 100 pounds. That is amazing. Congratulations.

Sounds like your friend is genuinely worried about you if a bit tactless. But if that was your only crying jag, the sleep is helping. One day at a time.

Mary

Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-)
From: jacqui.c
Date: 28 Jan 10 - 08:16 PM

You're doing well Michelle. Let your body decide what it wants to do and if that means sleep, so be it right now. That's when your system can use energy to heal faster.

Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-)
From: LilyFestre
Date: 28 Jan 10 - 07:03 PM

Home health here today...still having icky oozie issues with my navel. I've had 3 doses of antibiotics and am hoping that will help. In the meantime, my insurance company will be receiving a request to extend the home health visits as my incision is open and draining....and such an odd spot to tend to myself.

I did go back to sleep until about 11:30am when the phone rang, otherwise I could have probably slept a bit longer. No caffeine in my diet lately (no coffee...I know...hard to believe, but true) so I think my body just needs the rest.

Got to get out to WW today...felt good to see my friends. Received an award for having lost 101.9 pounds. Still can't believe it.

Only one crying spell today....a well meaning friend is being really pushy about the pathology of things and right now, I just don't even want to think about it. She was talking about chemo too....nothing horrible but enough to rock my boat a little bit. So....still not a tear free day but it was MUCH better today.

Michelle

Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-)
From: wysiwyg
Date: 28 Jan 10 - 03:32 PM

Those sleepies wear off better if you do the whole length of sleep you really need. Even a half hour of waking too early can leave the sleepies running all day. Beware of over-riding that with caff-- wrecks the whole effect. (This has been true of every sleep aid I have used, and I think I have used them all at one time or another.)

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-)
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 28 Jan 10 - 02:24 PM

I missed that bit--yeah, I hear that some sleeping pills can cause a real groggy feeling. That happens to me if I take Benedryl full strength, even at night. By the next morning I'm still feeling it.

Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-)
From: SINSULL
Date: 28 Jan 10 - 11:45 AM

Lily just got the sleeping aids from her doctor yesterday so I suspect more sleep is in order for a while. I envy you Lily. I love to sleep and can do it anywhere anytime. I should have a job as a mattress tester.
Are there any comedies you enjoy? Might be a good time to fill your waking moments with fun stuff. Laughter is wonderful medicine.

Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-)
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 28 Jan 10 - 11:27 AM

Sleep is also a feature of depression, so don't let it take over your days. When you speak to your doctor, be sure to mention this. You might benefit from keeping a diary--eating, sleeping, medication, it will help you see patterns.

It's a gloomy day here, overcast with drizzle. I can understand wanting to go back to sleep on a day like today!

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-)
From: Tinker
Date: 28 Jan 10 - 10:31 AM

What Mary said.... sleep lets the mind work through it's fears and find places to put all of our concerns and worries without paralyzing the day with inaction.

Sending you love and concern to live the day.

Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-)
From: SINSULL
Date: 28 Jan 10 - 07:53 AM

The wonders of sleep inducers. They make me feel stupid for 24 hours. But rest and sleep are just what you need. Pleasant dreams.

Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-)
From: LilyFestre
Date: 28 Jan 10 - 07:39 AM

Feeling very weak this morning...something new. I'm going back to sleep. So tired.

Michelle

Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-)
From: jacqui.c
Date: 28 Jan 10 - 07:15 AM

((((((Michelle)))))))

Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-
From: Janie
Date: 27 Jan 10 - 11:37 PM

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its problems; it empties today of its strengths." - Corrie Ten Boom

Of course you are worried and fearful, Michelle, but find ways to "turn the mind" away from the thoughts that induce the frustration, fear and even terror as much of the time as possible. Some activity that engages as many of the senses as possible in the present can be helpful. The idea is to find ways to tolerate the distress without making it worse. It is not about trying to banish fear, it is about finding ways to not dwell on the fear.

Sending {{{hugs}}} and caring for your well-being.

Janie

Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-)
From: wysiwyg
Date: 27 Jan 10 - 10:21 PM

Amen.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-)
From: SINSULL
Date: 27 Jan 10 - 08:36 PM

Sleep can be a good way to turn off the anxieties. Your body needs to rest. And don't forget - the anaesthesia really does take weeks to get out of your system.

I wish I could take away the fear, Michelle. Unfortunately, until you know what the test results are, you can't cope and plan. The What Ifs set in.

The only suggestion I can offer is try to live in the What Is. You are safe at home. The surgery is behind you. You have a loving husband to hold you and help you. You can see, hear, walk, talk, read, sing, laugh, cry - you are in charge of most of your life. Focus on who are. That is real. Try to put away What Might Be. It isn't real, may never happen, and has no real place in today.

We are all praying and lighting candles and keeping your health and healing in our thoughts. Work with us.

Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-)
From: LilyFestre
Date: 27 Jan 10 - 08:11 PM

I'm not enjoying the wait at all. It's scary and frustrating and at times, terrifying for me.

My visit to the surgeon yesterday went well and he answered some of my questions which helped to ease my fear.

The staples are out but I'm still having issues around my navel. This morning I went to see my regular Dr. for more help with the anxiety stuff (she gave me sleeping meds???????) and had her look at my incision. She took a sample of the yuck, re-steri stripped my belly and also gave me some antibiotics. I'm hoping that does the trick.

I am sleeping a lot lately.

Michelle

Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-)
From: SINSULL
Date: 27 Jan 10 - 12:47 PM

No infection is very good news, now that I think about. It means your immune system is functioning well - a very good sign.

Still waiting impatiently for results and your doctors' plans for the next steps to Welldom.

Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-)
From: jacqui.c
Date: 27 Jan 10 - 09:10 AM

Still here dear.

Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-)
From: kendall
Date: 27 Jan 10 - 09:04 AM

Well, I sure as hell hate waiting for the results; I always imagine the worst and that is a human trait. I would say that any normal person would be concerned.

Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-)
From: SINSULL
Date: 27 Jan 10 - 09:00 AM

Thanks for the update, Michelle. No news is good news.
Here in Maine the local hospitals offer all sorts of support groups for cancer patient, friends, and families. Everything from yoga and exercise classes to crafts and counseling. Maybe something like that is available by you. It may help to share your fears with people who are in the same place or who have been there and survived.
If you like, I will be happy to search out what is available near you. Just PM me some info on where you live, your hospital, and realistic travel distances.
If something appeals, go for it. If not, no harm done.

Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-)
From: AllisonA(Animaterra)
Date: 27 Jan 10 - 08:54 AM

Holding you in love...

Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-)
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 27 Jan 10 - 08:06 AM

Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 27 Jan 10 - 07:43 AM

Checking. I am still on watch and hoping for best possible outcome.

Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 27 Jan 10 - 07:20 AM

more hugs as I can't add anything to what has been said.

Maybe just one bit of wisdom from my physio recently - she reminded me one reason my scar is still sore 12 months later (apart from the fact it is in my groin, just above the fold of my leg) - it's not just 12" long, it's several inches deep - duh! I never thought of that.

sandra

Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-
From: Janie
Date: 27 Jan 10 - 02:22 AM

Such a tough place to inhabit right now, dear Michelle. It is hard to inhabit the present moment out of worry or concern about what may be in the future. Especially when the present moment is painful or uncomfortable as surgery scars heal.

Remind yourself, gently, and without judgement, to be fully present in the moment at hand.


Janie

Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-)
From: Tinker
Date: 26 Jan 10 - 11:59 PM

Hey there.... just to let you know there are folks here through the night as well.

Looking for a place to move forward.... something to busy your mind would be a good thing....

Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-)
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 26 Jan 10 - 11:28 PM

Michelle,

Don't just talk to a medical doctor, find yourself a counselor or psychiatrist. They can do a great job in helping you set aside the anxiety. If you don't, it means you're not focusing on positive things, you're not looking beyond the now, you're not working on a plan. If you're focused on the fear, you're letting the cancer win, it is just that simple. So you need to cast out the fear along with the cancer.

Sounds like it is time to go sit in on the yoga class, even if you're not doing anything, just to get back to the breathing and to practicing some discipline in focusing outward.

Good luck--make that appointment, but ask about a counselor also.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-)
From: LilyFestre
Date: 26 Jan 10 - 07:49 PM

The staples came out easily except for a few around my navel which didn't surprise me...they've been red, irritated and oozing. No infection though, so that's good news. Now I'm being held together with Steri-Strips.

The pathology is not back yet. I have an appointment for next week.

They gave me a packet of information about ovarian cancer, good websites, diet, and more but I'm too afraid to look at it.

Also, they said to get an appointment IMMEDIATELY with my home Dr. to deal with this anxiety which hinders healing due to crying, sobbing, heaving, coughing, blowing my nose, etc. I called my local Dr. from the hospital (which is 2 hours away) and have an appointment there first thing tomorrow morning.

Also, I have more pain meds which I've been scrimping on and am needing.

It's been a long scary day for me. Both my surgeons were there, both upbeat but of course they don't have the information to give me. I've been told to concentrate on eating and working on this anxiety stuff (which I hope means a medication adjustment).   I'm now down 28 pounds since December and while I'd like to lose weight, this is NOT the way to do it and I KNOW I need to build up my strength for whatever is to come. I started drinking Boost.....a nutritional supplement drink and the Dr.'s said to go ahead and drink it at each meal.

I feel like I am living on nursing home food and take the same amount of meds to qualify living in one.

Anyway, I'm thankful I can eat SOMETHING, even if it's soft and bland and I'm thankful for the meds to help me get through this.

I'm also thankful for all of you.

Michelle

Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-)
From: jacqui.c
Date: 26 Jan 10 - 07:25 PM

Waiting with you Michelle, every step of the way. I remember how hard was the time between my operation and getting the results of the biopsy.

Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-)
From: wysiwyg
Date: 26 Jan 10 - 05:28 PM

Not everyone finds waiting the hardest. Some prefer it.

Michelle, here we're still focusing on the most positive thoughts and prayers, "even if" and "whatever may be." Because when one gets right down to it-- it's still TODAY that one has and it's still TODAY that we must choose how to live. And today, no matter what the docs may say-- they still, really, only know about "today."

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-)
From: SINSULL
Date: 26 Jan 10 - 04:18 PM

Waiting...
the hardest part of the battle.

Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-)
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 26 Jan 10 - 03:53 PM

Yup, sending positive thoughts your way Michelle

Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-)
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 26 Jan 10 - 03:48 PM

Keeping an eye out for the pathology report. Another big hurdle to cross. Let us know when you can, kiddo!

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-)
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 26 Jan 10 - 01:17 PM

However, you'll find that if you don't rage and shout and stuff, you're system will be better off.

I've never had staples, but stitches in my foot after bunionectomy hurt like a sun of a gun. They'd been in so long. Your staples are coming out sooner than my stitches did, which helps.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-)
From: SINSULL
Date: 26 Jan 10 - 12:39 PM

Ignore my above post. Cry, scream yell and throw things. You have a right to be frightened and angry - it's a lousy hand you have been dealt.

Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-)
From: SINSULL
Date: 26 Jan 10 - 12:14 PM

Go ahead and cry Lily. This is very frightening. Who's going with you to the appointment?
The staples will come out easily. The pathology is what it is. You will get through this one day at a time.
Stay strong.
Mary

Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-)
From: LilyFestre
Date: 26 Jan 10 - 10:19 AM

(((((((((((((Sins)))))))))))))))

Today I go to get my staples out. I think I will also find out about the pathology.

All I can do is cry.

I am praying that nothing spread and that all the cancer has been removed.

:(

Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-)
From: AllisonA(Animaterra)
Date: 26 Jan 10 - 10:07 AM

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww, poor Sins!!!!!!!


<<< HUG >>>

Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-)
From: SINSULL
Date: 26 Jan 10 - 09:50 AM

Getting in and out of the car can pull open stitches. Be very careful.
And don't fall on the ice - MOAN!
SINS looking for sympathy.

Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-)
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 25 Jan 10 - 06:58 PM

Climbing the walls yet, Michelle? Have you been out for a ride, something very sedentary but that gets you out of the house?

We discovered a couple of deadlines this week (one on Wednesday, one on Sunday) so are dashing around filling out papers. I'm headed out the door next with tax stuff and forms to fill out at his Dad's house. Made an interview appointment and nudged his teachers and counselor--no one had turned in their forms yet. Arrgggghhh! Oops, this should be declutter stuff. Michelle, get well soon so we're over in one spot again talking about all of this stuff!

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-)
From: AllisonA(Animaterra)
Date: 25 Jan 10 - 08:21 AM

Me, too! I'm so glad you have one, Michelle!

Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-)
From: katlaughing
Date: 24 Jan 10 - 10:27 PM

Between Jacqui and MMario, there are quite a few of us who have received shawls...CLICK.

They are pretty special, aren't they? I love both of mine, very much!

Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 24 Jan 10 - 02:37 PM

Dear Michelle - you have now joined the sisterhood of JacquiC shawl wearers. Mine sits on back of sofa so I can wrap up in an instant.

Yep -- big Mudcat hug and collective healing thoughts and light coming to you (and others) from me at 9:15pm (4:15pm your time).

Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-)
From: LilyFestre
Date: 24 Jan 10 - 02:09 PM

((((((((((((((Giant Hug)))))))))))))))))

Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-)
From: jacqui.c
Date: 24 Jan 10 - 01:14 PM

I'm glad you liked the shawl Michelle. We each do what we can and I'm just glad that I can do something that makes people happy.

Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-)
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 24 Jan 10 - 11:55 AM

Wow! Michelle, having this surgery this time of year was opportune for the Mudcat folks whose common currency for exchange is wool. :)   

It's a beautiful day. I have my nose to the grindstone, taking advantage of being in the middle of the billing cycle to shop for lower rates at several companies. I pulled up a Consumer Reports discussion of insurance prices and satisfaction, and they provided links to sites for comparison purposes. Meanwhile, my organic gardening guru is on the radio. Moving forward. Michelle, I know life goes on for all of us, and you'll be chafing at not being able to act on whatever the current chores or issues are in your life, but they'll wait a little while. Get a seed catalog and plan for what you'll be planting in the garden this year. Maybe someone can set up a little growing kit in a window for you and you can at least watch the seeds sprout and grow indoors. A sign of great things to come!

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-)
From: SINSULL
Date: 24 Jan 10 - 11:14 AM

Damn! Now I'm all weepy. One day at a time but sometimes one day is really ten miles back to normal. Rest easy, Lily.

Subject: RE: BS: LilyFestre -UPDATE - she's home, resting:-)
From: LilyFestre
Date: 24 Jan 10 - 09:40 AM

Yesterday my husband brought the mail in the house and announced that I had a package. I wasn't expecting anything and when I opened it, I was completely overwhelmed with love.

Jacqui sent me the most beautiful turquoise shawl and a lovely note that left me feeling very, very loved. I cried happy tears and put it on immediately. Within 30 minutes, I was asleep, blissfully asleep without horrific dreams, wrapped in a giant Mudcat hug. It's a kindness I will never forget.

Thank you so very much Jacqui. ((((((((((((((((((Much Love))))))))))))

Michelle