BS: Need help dealing with panic attacks

Subject: RE: BS: Need help dealing with panic attacks
From: catspaw49
Date: 04 Mar 10 - 10:50 AM

Good to know that Nellie has connected with a real pro. Thanks Janie.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Need help dealing with panic attacks
From: SINSULL
Date: 04 Mar 10 - 10:58 AM

Thanks Janie. She is in good hands.

Subject: RE: BS: Need help dealing with panic attacks
From: GUEST,Nervous Nellie
Date: 04 Mar 10 - 01:07 PM

I wish this was a joke, but it's not. I appreciate all the help--it really is wonderful to know that you all care.

As for being a called a troll, I've been here a long time (so long, in fact, that I remember back when Gargoyle used his real name) and it doesn't bother me.

I've got other things to worry about, and those that wanted to help have helped a lot with them. Keep it up--I consider every suggestion.

Where have I been? I was up till 2am, and got up again to start my day at 4:50am. Didn't even need coffee--

Subject: RE: BS: Need help dealing with panic attacks
From: GUEST,mg
Date: 04 Mar 10 - 01:11 PM

Avoid people who blow hot and cold on you. That is the definition of abuse..the one I like anyway..not that someone is always nasty, but nasty alternating with lovey dovey. Gage your relationship to them at the lowest point and be always cautious. mg

Subject: RE: BS: Need help dealing with panic attacks
From: GUEST,Stringsinger
Date: 04 Mar 10 - 08:03 PM

N.N., Lox gave you some excellent advice. Start an exercise program. Walking or any physical exercise relieves pressure.

Know that you are not alone and not crazy. It happens to more people than you might think.

Gradually do the things that trigger the panic attack. Slowly, surely. You will wear down your panic reactions.

Look into Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. You can google info on this online.
You can lessen these panic attacks without drugs.

Anxiety is normal. An overabundance of it can be lessened.

A lot of it is due to "control issues". If you are a control-freak this could aggravate it.

Eat mild foods for dinner. No spices or things that will upset your stomach.

Also, as mg says, only hang out with constructive positive people.

Subject: RE: BS: Need help dealing with panic attacks
From: Janie
Date: 04 Mar 10 - 11:47 PM

Hi Nellie.

It is apparent that bunches of us are thinking of you and sending out lots of good energy. Let yourself soak it up!

You are absolutely not alone.

Subject: RE: BS: Need help dealing with panic attacks
From: GUEST,Nervous Nellie
Date: 05 Mar 10 - 12:26 PM

Things have calmed down considerably--rolled back to the "Butterflies in the stomach" level. It's a relief, but I've got a long way to go, and yes, Janie is helping me to connect to some good support. Bless her heart!

As far as the"only hang out with constructive positive people."idea, that would entail avoiding certain family entirely, and on occasion, myself;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Need help dealing with panic attacks
From: GUEST,mg
Date: 05 Mar 10 - 02:52 PM

If your family events include holiday meals..one simple tip..eat first..you don't want to mix stress plus low blood sugar plus more family stress when dinners are late, too carb-loaded, etc. Stick to your eating plan, partake as you can of the holiday food and it will be calmer. mg

Subject: RE: BS: Need help dealing with panic attacks
From: LadyJean
Date: 05 Mar 10 - 09:02 PM

I started getting panic attacks in college, where I was an octaganal peg in a triangular hole.
After my dad died, and my mom needed me, I worked out a ritual, and convinced myself that, if I did the ritual, I wouldn't have an attack.
It worked, at least most of the time. Coming from Presbyterians and Methodists, my ritual involves a prayer, which doesn't mean yours needs one. That's just what I did.
When you feel an attack coming, try to remember something complicated. I would try to remember the Scottish highland dances I did in high school. Recipes would work, or card games, or verb conjugations, or anything that will take your brain away from the damn attack.
Most important is to remember that this is just another goddam panic attack, like the last one. It will go away.
Look at it as an enemy that wants to wreck your life, and spit in it's eye.   
I had a honey of an attack a couple of years ago, coming home from the airport. I got off a very crowded bus, and into some cool, fresh air. It went away.

Subject: RE: BS: Need help dealing with panic attacks
From: GUEST,Nerv ous Nellie
Date: 05 Mar 10 - 11:56 PM

LadyJean--"Most important is to remember that this is just another goddam panic attack, like the last one. It will go away." That is the most important idea.   I like the "remember something complicated" and it reminded me that some POWs have said they created really elaborate routines that they'd go through in their cells every day.

Subject: RE: BS: Need help dealing with panic attacks
From: katlaughing
Date: 06 Mar 10 - 12:10 AM

Bat Goddess calls challenges like these "AFGOs" as in Another Fucking Growth Opportunity!:-)

Subject: RE: BS: Need help dealing with panic attacks
From: Bonzo3legs
Date: 06 Mar 10 - 07:20 AM

Rescue Remedy might help, never go to bed without it on my bedside table. My bottle has done 3 UK to Argentina trips and countless to Spain.

Subject: RE: BS: Need help dealing with panic attacks
From: GUEST,hg
Date: 06 Mar 10 - 12:59 PM

Lots of good advice here, especially the simple paper bag.

BTW some individuals are sensitive to the byproducts of muscle exertion, namely sodium lactate. Thus, after exertion such as running, biking, stairs, sex, kickboxing, an attack will ensue that day or the next. It helps to rehydrate completely after intense physical activity.

Also, mitral valve prolapse can bring on anxiety attacks. This can be temporary or ongoing.

(PhD in anxiety disorders...)hg

Subject: RE: BS: Need help dealing with panic attacks
From: GUEST,Nervous Nellie
Date: 07 Mar 10 - 05:46 AM

I've got Rescue Remedy. Interesting about the exertion and the Sodium Lactate. Meanwhile, the stressors are increasing, as I am finding that there are trust issues with a loved one that are just coming out. I suddenly don't know who this person is. I am going down a rabbit hole.

Subject: RE: BS: Need help dealing with panic attacks
From: GUEST,hg
Date: 07 Mar 10 - 07:35 AM

Well NN, perhaps YOUR panic attacks require a depth psychotherapy in the manner of the late, great Herbert Strean.

Subject: RE: BS: Need help dealing with panic attacks
From: bubblyrat
Date: 07 Mar 10 - 08:06 AM

I suffered from extreme anxiety and brutal "panic attacks" for years and years----things got particularly bad when I was about 26,and had been in the Navy for ten years.Eventually,I was sent to a joint services mental hospital,and,after being in there for six months,I was medically discharged.After that,I spent more unhappy years being dosed on Librium,Valium,Barbiturates,and the mono-amine-oxidase inhibitors Marplan and Nardil (very dangerous !) !!
       Eventually, for one reason or another, I stopped smoking,and Bingo !!-----No more hyperventilation !! No more paroxysmal tachycardia !! No more ambulance rides to hospitals !! Just a simple thing like stopping smoking ! So Nellie, if you DO smoke....Quit it TODAY !!And if you are "with" someone who smokes...take drastic action ! I still very occasionally get MILD symptoms if I am close to a fire-engine or police vehicle with flashing blue lights (the lights trigger "something"),but otherwise ,my life is now totally different,and medication-free !! So there is always hope,Nellie !

Subject: RE: BS: Need help dealing with panic attacks
From: GUEST,Nervous Nellie
Date: 07 Mar 10 - 08:49 AM

Unfortunately, bubblyrat, I don't smoke. As for the deep psychotherapy, I don't think deep psychotherapy for me is going to resolve my loved one's issues.

Subject: RE: BS: Need help dealing with panic attacks
From: katlaughing
Date: 07 Mar 10 - 03:47 PM

Remember, NN, we first must take care of ourselves esp. before we are able to care for others, esp. children. We cannot solve our loved one's issues for them. If they are harmful or detrimental to our well-being it is best to seek a new arrangement with them or, in the case of very, what I call, toxic people, get away from them altogether. That might not be your situation, but I've been there and, in my case, that was the only thing which helped. Interestingly enough, that person I fled from with two very young children in tow, and I are very good friends now having connected after thirty years. So...good things can come of it all.

Subject: RE: BS: Need help dealing with panic attacks
From: GUEST,Nervous Nellie
Date: 07 Mar 10 - 07:37 PM

What seems to trigger the attacks, which aren't too bad by now, is anything that reminds me of being deceived.

Part of the deception has been that the loved one has justfied certain things by blaming others, then using the ensuing chaos as a cover to conceal their real actions, so the situation is far from clear.

As to seeking a new arrangement, the costs will be high, with a lot of hurt.

I can't really be more specific--

Subject: RE: BS: Need help dealing with panic attacks
From: GUEST,hg
Date: 07 Mar 10 - 08:08 PM

NN,

"I don't think deep psychotherapy for me is going to resolve my loved one's issues."

I thought the problem lies in your response to the deception, i/e/ the panic attacks. Certainly you don't think that just changing your loved one will fix the problem you have with panic attacks. These kind of panic attacks are most definitely the fodder for psychotherapy. I suspect the deception requires a more decisive response on your part. The choices for responding must certainly be triggering your fears. Most people don't enjoy confronting others when issues must be examined worked out. Good luck.

Subject: RE: BS: Need help dealing with panic attacks
From: Bill D
Date: 07 Mar 10 - 09:27 PM

I see, NN...the kind of situation where there seems to be no 'right' answer....where even the lesser evil is still evil. I was there once, 35 years ago...finally, the decision was made for me after some awkward shuffling of my little universe.
I hope there are interim ways of coping as you explore possible 'solutions'...if there is such a thing in that situation.

Subject: RE: BS: Need help dealing with panic attacks
From: Janie
Date: 07 Mar 10 - 09:37 PM

Good night, Nellie. Sleep well and dreamlessly.

Subject: RE: BS: Need help dealing with panic attacks
From: Lizzie Cornish 1
Date: 08 Mar 10 - 03:07 AM

If you deal with the cause of the attacks, then the attacks will simply go away, Nellie, but it can be a bit of a journey to get there.

If a situation is bringing you more grief than joy, then change the situation. Yes, it may well be tough at the start, but you will grow, oh how you will grow in strength, in maturity, in self belief.

Once trust gets blown apart, it's very hard to get it back. You have to learn a new kind of trust, and that is, trust in yourself.

It would seem that already your inner self knows what may lie ahead, and your outer self is fighting against that, causing these attacks to happen.

It's extraordinarily hard when those you loved let you down, break the trust, but you WILL get through this, you will survive and come out the other side.

You have a choice here. You can remain 'Nervous Nellie' for the rest of your days, denying the very things that are causing your pain, or you can become 'NEW Nellie' and make a decision you never envisaged having to make.

It's tough, kid. I won't tell you otherwise, but it can be done.


The other way is to confront the person who's causing you such distress and tell them what's happening. If they truly love you, they will do all in their power to change what's going on, as well as being deeply upset for the pain they've caused you.

But don't spend your whole life putting up with shite. You don't deserve it.


Whichever path you choose, I wish you well.

Subject: RE: BS: Need help dealing with panic attacks
From: GUEST,mg
Date: 08 Mar 10 - 02:17 PM

I think the words of the day are firm resolve. If there are children invovled, they must be protected from any abuse if there is any. People in these situations usually benefit from professional help. Panic and/or rage are not going to get you through what you might have to get through. Resolve to do what is right, no matter how painful, will, with the proper support..and most people are willing to give it if they understand the situation..and that includes places to stay etc. if you must move from a bad or hopeless situation. mg

Subject: RE: BS: Need help dealing with panic attacks
From: Janie
Date: 10 Mar 10 - 06:42 PM

Not sure what your question is about?