BS: Always look on the bright side of life

Subject: BS: Always look on the bright side of life
From: Donuel
Date: 08 Jun 10 - 12:07 PM

Hey bunky cheer up. Turn off Rachel Maddow and turn on Spongepants.

Even out of the gooey holocaust of the great gulf spill there are upsides if you only look for them.

For example the once vilified Jersey shore can now been seen as a virtual paradise when compared to the Gulf shore. ITs time to get creative and come up with some new ideas for the Gulf. Maybe with enough lettuce and vinegar we could make the biggest salad on earth. Maybe we could invent boats that could get all their fuel from floating oil and send thousands of folks out on the Gulf to motor their way to a cleaner sea. Maybe the Gerry Falwell Christians could change their minds about conservation and enviormentalism. After all it was Falwell who demonized enviormentalists as liberals who only sought to distract evangelicals from thier Flawell mission of God.

For those who make their money defending huge corporations and extolling their virtues are becoming tongue tied whenever they say Big Goverment is ruining our country. Now they are calling for goverment to comandeer, take over, do something - anything to save what is left of the entire southern coast.



Yes, lets look on the bright side and see that the glass is only half empty of oil!
Yeah thats the spirit! There is now room for new sports. Oil skiing, oil boarding, para-oiling, oily oily in free. Lets use what we have and make the most of it, like deep fried pelican and shrimp packed in oil. Lets get those all Alaskan American simplistic minds to work and turn drill baby drill into burn baby burn. Good ol' fashioned bon fires on the Gulf beach will make unforgettable vacation photos. HEY THERE EVEN FEWER MOSQUITOS DOWN THERE!

Sell oil soaked T shirts that say "I went to the Gulf and all I got was this lousy T shirt", "I survided the oil spill", "don't cry over spilled oil" and my favorite, "SAVE THE WELL"S (with image of a oil blackened dead dolphin)

SIng a song
Always look at the bright side of strife, de dumb, dee dumb dee dumb dee dung. When you look at it, life is full of shit, but Big Oil and Wall St Banks will still love you. If you take a whiff, it will make you sick, so hold your breath and listen what to do,
Always look on the bright side of...

Thats it! Yes, wait a minute, I think I know what to do with Sponge Bob!! IF everyone took a sponge and brought back home a gallon of gulf oil we would have that billion gallons (by November) of oil cleaned up in no time.

We oil well on our way to a great 100 year clean up, and you know what that means friends, Jobs Jobs Jobs!

Subject: RE: BS: Always look on the bright side of life
From: Alice
Date: 08 Jun 10 - 12:36 PM

a smile is a frown upside down

Subject: RE: BS: Always look on the bright side of life
From: Ebbie
Date: 08 Jun 10 - 01:30 PM

Yesterday I took my dog on a visit to some friends who have two dogs of the same breed as mine. We had tea on the white table on the green lawn behind the tall hedge and it was sunny and warm and bright. Birds were singing and swooping about. Two hummingbirds darted about, occasionally hovering over the sugar feeder at the corner of the garden.

My dog, being the lady she is, lay decorously on her belly, short legs extended straight behind her. Their two dogs, both male, sprawled on the grass on their backs, legs spread wide.

It is so difficult to see the bright side of this. :)

Subject: RE: BS: Always look on the bright side of life
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 08 Jun 10 - 01:39 PM

A few weeks ago my 14 year old son was having a bad morning. I told him to take that frown and turn it upside down, let a smile be your umbrella. Then we got to thinking that if you used a smile as your umbrella it would eventually fill with water, collapse under all the weight and you would get drenched. We decided that a smile would not really make a very good umbrella.

Subject: RE: BS: Always look on the bright side of life
From: Bert
Date: 08 Jun 10 - 02:13 PM

...Maybe we could invent boats that could get all their fuel from floating oil... Good one Donuel.

Subject: RE: BS: Always look on the bright side of life
From: Ebbie
Date: 08 Jun 10 - 02:56 PM

Perhaps everyone who lives on the Gulf coast should get a rebate for buying a houseboat.

Subject: RE: BS: Always look on the bright side of life
From: Ed T
Date: 08 Jun 10 - 03:26 PM

But, with the oil sheen, it may be more difficult to detect politicians? Snake oil may be the new alternative....

Subject: RE: BS: Always look on the bright side of life
From: Donuel
Date: 08 Jun 10 - 08:33 PM

Yes thats the spirit Ed

"The sun always sheens in the land of rainbows", the the Great Gulf Coast.

Come surf in the wake of oil tankers in the Gulf.


This country has enough septic system trucks and fuel oil trucks to go down the the shore and suck the oil all day and night.
Use these 200,000 trucks and drive it the Arizona where we can pave the entire border with brand new asphalt.

comon you guys and gals, get happy, get creative.

Subject: RE: BS: Always look on the bright side of life
From: Donuel
Date: 09 Jun 10 - 02:39 AM

Everything is still fine. As Emporer Cladius said a thousand years ago, "let all the evil in the mud hatch out" but look around, were still here. Do you see any evil hatching out of the mud? Of course not.

Compared to the worst case scenario we are whistling Dixie with the wind at our backs and gold in our pockets, or gold at least in Wall St. pockets.

Huh? What is the worst case scenario you ask?
This may not be the best time or place to tell you but
if the oil well blow out was a deep ground blowout then the oil will gush until all pressure is equalized for a mass of oil that could be interconnected in a vast pool under the Gulf that stretches for thousands of cubic miles. ALl those Gulf rigs could be sucking parts of the same layer of oil with some pockets deeper than others.
So in the worst case the spill could last for many years.

The damage to the oxygen producing micro organisms could reduce oxygen levels worldwide as well as change the Gulf Stream current dir3ection and speed which could result in a sudden ice age.
The daily circle of life in the ocenas is that the plant like micro organisms foat up to the surface by day for sunlight and oxygen production and then they float down at night as the animal micro organisms flaot up at night to eat the micro plants as they pass each other. Break that circle of life and you break Oxygen formation by all life save for bacteria.

The oceans will appear to turn to blood ( a dark reddish color,as the oils continues killing all life it encounters would continue the oxygen deprivation world wide. The majority of the oxygen is produced in the ocean wile the declining rain foresrts like the Amazon are like the planets lungs suffering from emphasema.

As we gasp for breath in a stunning cold snap sending us into a continuous crop failures, a great famine will kill more people than the declining Oxygen levels.
But on the bright side --- the roads would have much less traffic so the driving would be fast and fun whether you drive a Hummer or a Lamborghini.