WOOFIEST!!NEW WORST MOVIE EVER!!!!

Subject: WOOFIEST!!NEW WORST MOVIE EVER!!!!
From: Peter T.
Date: 14 Aug 99 - 12:25 PM

Ladies and Gentlemen, hats off. For some people, moments of memory are Roger Bannister breaking the 4 minute mile, the first 5 minutes of Tommy Lee Jones in The Fugitive, the first hearing of Louis Armstrong. For others, a shining moment is the arrival of the Turkey of Turkeys, the New World Champion. Step aside, Showgirls, be humble, Speed 2, a new KING IS IN TOWN!!!!!If you have wattles, prepare to gobble!!!!!
"EYES WIDE SHUT", friends, in DOLBY DIGITAL STINKARAMA!! Put on those 1-D spectacles, do not watch this through anything other than concrete!!!!
SEE!! DEEP EUROPEAN THOUGHT!!!!HURL!!! AT ACTING THAT BROUGHT ACTION FROM THE CARDBOARD MANUFACTURERS PLACEMENT AGENCY!!!
WITNESS!!!THE HUNGARIAN DANCE SCENE FROM SEDUCTION HELL!!!!
BEWARE!!THE MOST RIDICULOUS ORGY IN HISTORY!!!
CELEBRATE!!! SYDNEY POLLACK EMOTING FROM WITHIN A DIVING BELL!!!
SHRIEK!!!AT NICOLE KIDMAN AND TOM CRUISE IN TORMENTED AGONY!!!
STAGGER!!! HOME IN UNBELIEVING STUPORNESS!!!!
Worst movie of all time??? Can't be you say!!! Yes, Yes, Yes!!!! And not even worth seeing for its worsiness.
Envelope, please, and mail everyone associated with this to Antarctica!!!
yours, Peter T.
P.S. This is really, really, really bad.

Subject: RE: WOOFIEST!!NEW WORST MOVIE EVER!!!!
From: Art Thieme
Date: 14 Aug 99 - 01:18 PM

But is it worth going to see???

Subject: RE: WOOFIEST!!NEW WORST MOVIE EVER!!!!
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 14 Aug 99 - 02:25 PM

Too bad. I've always been an admirer of Kubrick. Even his failures ( Barry Lyndon ) generally stand head and shoulders above the usual crop of "good" Hollywood films.

LEJ

Subject: RE: WOOFIEST!!NEW WORST MOVIE EVER!!!!
From: Margo
Date: 14 Aug 99 - 03:22 PM

Yes, Lej, I'd be interested in hearing your opinion after having seen the film, since you like Kubrick.

Margarita

Subject: RE: WOOFIEST!!NEW WORST MOVIE EVER!!!!
From: Neil Lowe
Date: 14 Aug 99 - 04:57 PM

Hell, I even liked "Sparticus"...and Kubrick didn't even have complete control of that one.

Subject: RE: WOOFIEST!!NEW WORST MOVIE EVER!!!!
From: WyoWoman
Date: 14 Aug 99 - 06:30 PM

I'm sorry. It may suck, but it cannot be the worst movie ever. The very worst movie ever -- well, TWO are tied for the honors -- is "Moment by Moment," with John Travolta and, believe it or NOT, Lillie Tomlin and/or "Cruising" with Richard Gere. I NEVER walk out on movies because I have such a hopeful heart and I always think something really good is just about to happen that will RESCUE this piece of doo-wah from complete oblivion and make it an actual movie. But nothing could rescue either of those movies. Nada. Zip. No-thing!

I have to see Eyes Wide Shut just for the possibility of seeing a bit of Tom Cruise's body lying moldering in the bed...

(I'm such a devoted heterosexual...)

WW

Subject: RE: WOOFIEST!!NEW WORST MOVIE EVER!!!!
From: bseed(charleskratz)
Date: 14 Aug 99 - 07:30 PM

One of the few movies I ever walked out on (I even managed to sit through "Night of the Snake Woman") was "Body Heat," which for some reason some critics liked. When William Hurt is locked out of her house by Kathleen Turner and runs around panting and looking in the windows and she's always there, panting too, forcing him to crash through a window--what an erotic act! And it kept getting stupider, people who should have known better acting like dorks--I think the dialogue on the dock after the housebreaking scene was what did us in (straight out of the thread "Worst Pickup Lines Ever?"). --seed (luckily, we went to see it as a sneak preview and didn't know it was an erotic masterpiece. --seed

Subject: RE: WOOFIEST!!NEW WORST MOVIE EVER!!!!
From: WyoWoman
Date: 14 Aug 99 - 10:18 PM

Well, erotic is as erotic does...

WW

Subject: RE: WOOFIEST!!NEW WORST MOVIE EVER!!!!
From: bseed(charleskratz)
Date: 15 Aug 99 - 12:18 AM

Whatever that means... --seed

Subject: RE: WOOFIEST!!NEW WORST MOVIE EVER!!!!
From: DonMeixner
Date: 15 Aug 99 - 12:43 AM

Worstest movie ever made? I've seen a few. Peter Firth and Nastasia Kinsky in "Tess" very pretty, both Ms. Kinsky and the Movie but slow and pointless and dumb. Matt Salinger and Ronnie Cox in "Captain America" great comic, great story but the movie, great waste of time.

Don.

But what do I know? I liked WaterWorld?

Subject: RE: WOOFIEST!!NEW WORST MOVIE EVER!!!!
From: MAG (inactive)
Date: 15 Aug 99 - 02:19 PM

Nah, "Five Finges of Death" has got it. I passed on EWS to catch "Sixth Sense" (good) but it couldn't be worse than my favorite turkey. Unless you are factoring in money spent.

MAG

Subject: RE: WOOFIEST!!NEW WORST MOVIE EVER!!!!
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 15 Aug 99 - 03:35 PM

PETER, PETER, PETER! Now listen to me. I love you like the intelligent brother I never had. Stop going to films that you KNOW will be godawful. A person who loved "Les enfants du Paradise", should NEVER go to a Tom Cruise movie. (I'm in deep doo-doo if Heather sees this cause she loves the little bugger)
It was bad enough that you saw Titanic, (for the special effects no doubt) and I can even accept your worshiping that sweet anorexic Audrey Hepburn, but please..take two tylenol and rent (I know you don't have a TV, so you can bring them here to watch) "Waiting For Guffman", and "Tunes of Glory". One is brilliant and hilarious, the other, just brilliant.
There. I feel better now!

Rick

Subject: RE: WOOFIEST!!NEW WORST MOVIE EVER!!!!
From: Annecat
Date: 15 Aug 99 - 06:40 PM

Personally, the movie I found hardest to sit through was last summer's Can't Hardly Wait. Okay, okay, it probably doesn't rank up there with the worst movies of all time, but I suffered. It isn't quite bad enough to laugh at its badness, just awful.

The plot -- was there a plot? -- anyway, it all takes place at some girl's graduation party, where the humor reaches new creative highs: the valedictorian nerd gets drunk and becomes temporarily popular! the two most anti-social kids in the school get locked in the bathroom together and end up having sex! the party gets completely out of hand and the anal-retentive hostess freaks out! someone tracks dog doo on the carpet!

Are we laughing yet? It was so realistic -- just like spending an agonizingly long night with a hundred people you wish you'd never met.

Subject: RE: WOOFIEST!!NEW WORST MOVIE EVER!!!!
From: Peter T.
Date: 15 Aug 99 - 07:18 PM

Have just come back from "Eyes Wide Shut" detox ward, but couldn't get in because of the lines. Shakily, I respond....
1) I love Kubrick films. Dr. Strangelove is my favourite film.
2) Art, the film isn't bad enough to be worth seeing for the hilarity, though I do remember laughing hysterically through the ridiculous orgy scene.
3) Wyowoman, stay away. Tom hardly ever undresses in this film (though of course every woman in the film ends up stark naked, in this oh so sophisticated film). There is a stupid scene in a morgue with a lady corpse who out-emotes Tom.
Think "Moment By Moment" done pretentiously.
4) Rick, as your intelligent brother you never had (I think the Regs here, but let it pass) and as someone who leaves the house to see a film occasionally in spite of the stupidity of the audiences -- I was dragged to see it by a woman!!! She has not yet forgiven herself, but is working on it. Also, Titanic had one good minute in it -- the scene in the ice water when Leo di Caprio sinks. Worth the whole film.
I say nothing about Audrey Hepburn, except that she is to other women what English is to Esperanto.
yours, Peter T.

Subject: RE: WOOFIEST!!NEW WORST MOVIE EVER!!!!
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 15 Aug 99 - 09:04 PM

Peter T. A woman took you to see it? Hmmmmm, well Ok. But watch it next time!
Now I thought Dr. Strangelove was brilliant and hilarious and all those good things, but it struck me as a somewhat "un-Kubrick" like film. I think Terry Southern's writing was what made it so memorable. Certainly one of the five or six truly funny films that Peter Sellers was in.
Just trying to think what else I thought he was funny in, and I've come up with about 10 actually. That ain't bad.
Rick

Subject: RE: WOOFIEST!!NEW WORST MOVIE EVER!!!!
From: WyoWoman
Date: 15 Aug 99 - 09:12 PM

Good Gawd in Heaven! A pretentious "Moment by Moment?" That could be a very effective kind of torture. Strap me down and force me to watch something like that and I'd confess to anything, reveal any secrets...

How awful for Kubrick to go out on a flat note...

WW

Subject: RE: WOOFIEST!!NEW WORST MOVIE EVER!!!!
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 15 Aug 99 - 09:17 PM

Who cares Wyo? We want to know your secrets!

Subject: RE: WOOFIEST!!NEW WORST MOVIE EVER!!!!
From: skivee
Date: 16 Aug 99 - 11:19 AM

I just had a mental image of our poor, misunderstood anti-hero hero, Alex, from A Clockwork Orange. He's strapped into a theater seat, his head in a clamp ,little wire deals are pinning his eyelids. He's screaming his head off at what he's being forced to watch on screen... Eyes Wide Shut.

Subject: RE: WOOFIEST!!NEW WORST MOVIE EVER!!!!
From: WyoWoman
Date: 16 Aug 99 - 11:42 AM

Rick -- you just want to strap me down!

;-}

ww

Subject: RE: WOOFIEST!!NEW WORST MOVIE EVER!!!!
From: Margo
Date: 16 Aug 99 - 11:52 AM

Nobody's mentioned movies by Ed Wood. Not THE movie Ed Wood, but movies make by him. He has the distinction of being the worst movie director ever.

Say, have any of you seen "Aguire, the Wrath of God?". I can't remember the director's name, but he's German and makes the most oddball movies I've ever seen. REALLY strange.

I can't seem to take Melanie Griffith seriously because she always sounds like a little girl no matter what role she plays.

Marghie

Subject: RE: WOOFIEST!!NEW WORST MOVIE EVER!!!!
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 16 Aug 99 - 12:02 PM

Margarita. Believe it was Werner Fassbinder. I was saying to Peter T. last week that I'm so fascinated (morbidly) with Klaus Kinski that I actually ENJOYED "Aguirre".

Subject: RE: WOOFIEST!!NEW WORST MOVIE EVER!!!!
From: WyoWoman
Date: 16 Aug 99 - 12:11 PM

I'm reminded of a wonderful line from one of Laurie Anderson's albums:

Hansel and Gretel are alive and well,
And living in Berlin.
She is a cocktail waitress
He has a part in a Fassbinder film
And every evening about nine o'clock
Sipping his schnapps and gin
He says, "Gretl, you can really be a bitch...
"I've wasted my life on our stupid legend
"When my one and only love
"Was the Wicked Witch .... "

ww

Subject: RE: WOOFIEST!!NEW WORST MOVIE EVER!!!!
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 16 Aug 99 - 12:35 PM

I thought Aguirre No, undeniably Two-lane Blacktop was the single worst film of all time. One must view this movie prior to judging the unworthiness of any other cinematic effort.

LEJ

Subject: RE: WOOFIEST!!NEW WORST MOVIE EVER!!!!
From: catspaw49
Date: 16 Aug 99 - 01:00 PM

Pete Ol' Buddy.......I wear size 13 and I'll be coming soon .... watch your back(side)..........When you hear a creak on the stair, it could be me.......there is no safe haven...your ass is mine..........

Spaw

Subject: RE: WOOFIEST!!NEW WORST MOVIE EVER!!!!
From: SeanM
Date: 16 Aug 99 - 01:12 PM

Hey!

Back off of Ed Wood!

OK, so he's done some truly awful work (as anyone who's ever seen Glen or Glenda will readily attest to), but Ed's darn near an icon status... the true tribute to the 'Murican Dream - He always wanted to be a director. So what if he had absolutely NO skill at it? Did he let it stop him? NO!!!

Of course, he DID end up broke, and went slightly insane...

But that's not the point!!!
Surely, there must be a wing named after him at the NYCFTTS... After all, even filmakers can be terminally screwed...

M

Subject: RE: WOOFIEST!!NEW WORST MOVIE EVER!!!!
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 16 Aug 99 - 01:31 PM

I have no idea what happened to my last thread. What I meant to say: 1. Aguirre the Wrath of God was pretty good. 2. Two Lane Blacktop was the absolute worst, and should be used to calibrate any scale of relative cinematic lousiness.

LEJ

Subject: RE: WOOFIEST!!NEW WORST MOVIE EVER!!!!
From: bseed(charleskratz)
Date: 16 Aug 99 - 03:12 PM

The mentions above of Audrey Hepburn brought to mind another of my list of worst movies--perhaps her last: "The Other Side of Midnight," in her fifties and looking every year of it she was still cast as an ingenue who inherits a vast fortune that James Mason wants to kill her for to finance his career as a director of snuff films--or something. Totally incomprehensible, and what is worse, making a travesty of the woman I had loved ever since "Roman Holiday." --seed

Subject: RE: WOOFIEST!!NEW WORST MOVIE EVER!!!!
From: bseed(charleskratz)
Date: 16 Aug 99 - 03:12 PM

The mentions above of Audrey Hepburn brought to mind another of my list of worst movies--perhaps her last: "The Other Side of Midnight," in her fifties and looking every year of it she was still cast as an ingenue who inherits a vast fortune that James Mason wants to kill her for to finance his career as a director of snuff films--or something. Totally incomprehensible, and what is worse, making a travesty of the woman I had loved ever since "Roman Holiday." --seed

Subject: RE: WOOFIEST!!NEW WORST MOVIE EVER!!!!
From: Steve Latimer
Date: 17 Aug 99 - 09:27 AM

I've only walked out on two movies in my life. I would have to say that they would give any 'worst movie' nominee a run for their money. Billy Crystal in 'Rabbit Test', the story of the worlds first pregnant man was absolutely awful and unfunny, 'Howard the Duck' may have ended up being funny, but the first five minutes were so bad that I had to leave.

Subject: RE: WOOFIEST!!NEW WORST MOVIE EVER!!!!
From: Peter T.
Date: 17 Aug 99 - 09:56 AM

1) CP, what did I say? Did you like "Eyes Wide Shut"?Naaah. Or is this your Jack Nicholson impression?
2) I should have corrected my second note. Tom Cruise doesn't ever really take his clothes off in the total sense. BECAUSE HE'S A STAR AND STARS DON'T HAVE SEXUAL ORGANS ONSCREEN. AT one point he is ordered to take his clothes off and a starlet sacrifices herself so that we won't have to see him really naked. Ladies, stay home.
3) Audrey Hepburn was also in Stephen Spielberg's turkey, I can't remember the name, about the dead pilot who returns.
Wings of Goop, or something. James Joyce wrote bad poetry. Are we to be judged by our best or our worst work?
4) Speaking of worst work, Ed Wood is a fabulous director. Glen or Glenda is certainly in the top 10 funny movies. The first time I saw it, I became completely hysterical in the theatre, and I am a modest, retiring sort, sort of. I was unable to stop laughing for hours afterwards. The sweater sacrifice scene is still a peak: somewhere around the moment Oedipus finds out about his father.
yours, Peter T.

Subject: RE: WOOFIEST!!NEW WORST MOVIE EVER!!!!
From: Den
Date: 17 Aug 99 - 10:26 AM

What about Far and Away another Tom Cruise gem. Far and Away the biggest piece of crap I've seen. The fact that the guy can't act is something I can live with sort of. But the Irish accent was a cross between the lucky charms leprechaun and the women in the Irish Spring commercial. I hope no-one says and we like it too. Den on a rant

Subject: RE: WOOFIEST!!NEW WORST MOVIE EVER!!!!
From: alison
Date: 17 Aug 99 - 10:36 AM

Poor tom,

Can't act, can't do an Irish accent, can't sing (We had Top Gun again the other night... just how many key changes can you stick into the verse of "you've lost that loving feeling?... quite a few it seems.....)... it's as well he has a cute grin.....

slainte

alison

Subject: RE: WOOFIEST!!NEW WORST MOVIE EVER!!!!
From: Drew
Date: 17 Aug 99 - 10:56 AM

Peter T, that dead pilot film with Audrey was called "Always" with Richard Dreyfus and Holly Hunter. Syrupy and stomach-churningly, manipulatively sentimental, yes - but nowhere near the worst film of all time. As an Australian I can proudly state that my home-grown film industry has thrown up some real shockers over the years. The embarrassing thing is that we can be so bloody forgiving down here of an improbable and poorly structured plot that's been badly filmed and just as badly acted, as long as it's all done with an Aussie accent! Try sitting through more than 5 minutes of something called "Pandemonium". Even you, WyoWoman - with what appear to be your rather kinky, masochistic tendencies (not that there's anything wrong with that!) - would not endure. You'd chew through your straps to get away! There are many others, mainly spawned in the early '80s in a period when, in order to get the industry booming, films were set up as a tax dodge to encourage investors. Sure, we've made some good films, too, some very fine ones, but, hey, who remembers those up against...say..."BMX Bandits" starring, surprise surprise, a very young Nicole Kidman. Geez, she can sure pick 'em, cant she!

Drew

Subject: RE: WOOFIEST!!NEW WORST MOVIE EVER!!!!
From: Peter T.
Date: 17 Aug 99 - 11:15 AM

Hey Drew, what is that Australian film about the guy who has the house at the end of the runway like? It lasted here about 3 days, and I missed it. All my two Aussie friends said it was great; but you needed Aussies in the audience to interpret.
yours, Peter T.

Subject: RE: WOOFIEST!!NEW WORST MOVIE EVER!!!!
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 17 Aug 99 - 11:43 AM

Ahaaaa! Speaking of WORST movies? How about decent movies with the worst characters? Which brings me to "DON'S PARTY"! I think Beresford is good, BUT...the guests (and Don) were some of the most loathsome people I've ever encountered on screen. The guy with the beer around his neck reminds me why I stopped playing bars 12 years ago.

Duckboots (Heather) walked out on Annie Hall!!!! Boy, she must have had a lot of other good qualities, and I'm glad it didn't happen while we were courting!

I walked out on Ryan's Daughter, cause I couldn't stand to see Robert Mitchum act like a total schmuck (the character -not his acting) and John Mills and his lobster didn't help!

Rick

Subject: RE: WOOFIEST!!NEW WORST MOVIE EVER!!!!
From: Peter T.
Date: 17 Aug 99 - 12:05 PM

Everything about "Pulp Fiction" was loathsome, people, violence, plot, everything. It is a pity it was such a good movie. Terminator 2 was the same. Dreadful, badly written, viciously immoral, horribly acted film: completely compelling.
yours, Peter T.

Subject: RE: WOOFIEST!!NEW WORST MOVIE EVER!!!!
From: catspaw49
Date: 17 Aug 99 - 01:36 PM

I CAN'T STAND IT !!!!!!!!! I swore I was going to kick your ass if you started another "Best" type thread because they completely hook me.....but I give up. So here we go...................

ANY Alistair Maclean novel made into a movie---Howard Hughes watched "Ice Station Zebra" continually, a true dipstick, rich, but a dipstick.

ANY movie having a plot line involving sailing...Most sports are seldom portrayed with accuracy, but sailing takes the worst pounding of all. Complete Crap!!!

ANY martial arts specialist thingy-----and with great shame I admit to being hooked on one of the WORST, Steven Segal fare. I don't know why, maybe it's for the laughs they give me.......

ANY movie starring Mike Myers, Adam Sandler, Arnold the Schwarz, the Kung-Fu street fighter asshole with the hyphenated name............I've relented some on Jim Carrey.

ANY Disney Toon-O-Movie rewriting history. The real stories are often better to begin with.

ANY movie with cute, wonderful, brilliant, creative, resourceful, and intelligent little urchins that also portrays adults as complete scmucks.

ANY movie where 99.9% of the audience walks out saying, "Oh wasn't that cute, really a sweet film....just darling. My Aunt Cashew and Uncle Filbert will just LOVE it!"

ANY BioPic or DocuDrama that strays so far from the facts as to be unrecognizable.

ANY "Blockbuster" Parody, ie. "Silence of the Hams"...a turkey of epic proportion.

ANY movie whose pace is so slow and takes so long to develop that I could string 3 Hammered Dulcimers and an Autoharp while the plotline was building....Sorry my Irish friends, but "Waking Ned Divine" fits the bill here.

Geez......What do I watch?

Spaw

Subject: RE: WOOFIEST!!NEW WORST MOVIE EVER!!!!
From: WyoWoman
Date: 17 Aug 99 - 06:34 PM

I completely agree that "Far and Away" was deeply, deeply sucky. I was particularly affronted because I grew up in Oklahoma and that whole time when the state was being opened up to white settlers and was full of immigrants from all over the world is such a fascinating historical period. It deserved a really good movie and it got ... TOM CRUISE doing Irish Spring. ICK!

'Spaw, you ignorant slut. I loved Ned Divine. Therefore, you don't know jack. (I've been working on becoming less tolerant. How'm I doing so far???)

;+]

ww

Subject: RE: WOOFIEST!!NEW WORST MOVIE EVER!!!!
From: Drew
Date: 18 Aug 99 - 08:51 AM

Peter T, the film about the guy with the house at the end of the runway is called "The Castle" and was a huge hit down here. It was shot in about 2 or 3 weeks for about half a million dollars (yes, Australian!) and took over $8 million at the box office in this country - quite a feat with such a small market. I saw it before it was released and predicted big things for it, but did wonder if it would travel. It certainly does have rough edges (as you'd imagine given how long it took to make) but for Australians I think the characters are so identifiable that the humour works against this and is possibly even served by it. Oops, hang on! I'm actually saying NICE things about a film - here of all places! Oh, well, I'm sure there'd be plenty out there who'd howl me down in protest! Drew

Subject: RE: WOOFIEST!!NEW WORST MOVIE EVER!!!!
From: Jack (who is called Jack)
Date: 18 Aug 99 - 01:21 PM

I guess I put bad movies into three catagories.

Low budget movies made by people who lack both the talent and resources to make do with little. I have a certain affection for these films. The kind of sympathy I have for street vendors hawking second rate stuff on the street and dreaming of making it big someday. Or similarly, for street singers who aren't all that good but are out there anyway.

Then there are the pure exploitation movies, whose raison detre is to make as cheap a product as possible and hit the market, and sell as many as possible before people find out how bad it is. There's lots of 'kids' movies and videos the fall into this category, most smut does too, and then there are the classic blaxploitation movies like Blacula, or Come Back Charelston Blue. Although I have to admit, some of the latter were campy fun in there own way. My favorite is 'The Legend of Billy Jean', a 'Teen Rebellion' movie with all the classic stereotyped elements. By far the best part of the movie is when the wrongfully accused misfit outlaw teens are being pursued by police, and are being fired upon during a car chase. The 'token plain girl' that the 'beautiful lead girl' has befriended looks down and notices blood on her legs. Is she shot? No! Its the onset of menses, her first period for which she has been longing! Amidst the gunfire she exchanges looks of pride with the beautiful lead and receives the silent and proud affirmation of welcome into womanhood. A moment of special bonding that transcends the potentially fatal high speed car chase.

But by far the worst films are the ones made by people that have the resources to make a good movie and end up making a really bad one, seemingly on purpose. You always wonder what happens. There are brilliant writers out there, good actors, technical expertise, all available, and yet the stuff that gets to the screen...feh! Some of it actually does well, like the stuff with Patrick Swayze in it. Ghost was terrible, but people flocked in droves, and you know what was doubly sad? There was a british film with almost the same premise called Truly, Madly, Deeply (If you haven't seen it, rent it) that was orders of magnitude funnier, more poigniant, more romantic than Ghost could ever hope to be. (Not to mention that Ghost had one of the most egregious continuity errors of all time. Remember the 'erotic' potter's wheel scene set to Unchained Melody, where he sits down behind her and starts working the soft wet clay with her? Both of them are muddy up the thier elbows, and the next thing we see them standing in the living room with the same clothes on, spottlessly clean, groping each other in a passionate kiss. What? Did they bathe, wash and dry the clothes, get dressed again and come back to pick up where they left off???) I'm sorry but I digress.

Then there was 'Down and Out in Beverly Hills', the Nick Nolte vehicle with Richard Dreyfus, Bette Midler, Winona Ryder and Mike the Dog. The premise was that a despondent, somewhat antisocial homeless man gets taken in to the household of an affluent factory owner in Beverly Hills. The main story is that the husband is at odds with his wife and daughter. The resolution of this conflict is achieved when the antisocial, selfish stranger, gives a good F*(&# to first the mother then the daughter. Ah women, the movie proclaims, when they become shrewish, distant and disatisfied, all they need to get back in balance is a good screw by an anonymous man who doesn't give a damn about them. That'll fix everything! Forget actual communication, or getting to the root of the problem, just get someone to @#$% em'. Works like a charm. God I hate that movie.

Subject: RE: WOOFIEST!!NEW WORST MOVIE EVER!!!!
From: Peter T.
Date: 18 Aug 99 - 02:54 PM

"Truly, Madly, Deeply" is a strange film. The first half was great, and then it turned really bad. The new boyfriend and everything, sentimentality poisoned it -- a good example of a problem with many films (Pauline Kael said this first): the original premise is great, and there is one good hour in it, but no one knows what to do with it after that. There are not many films that get better as they go on. How many films can you think of where the second half is as good as or better than the first half? The Third Man? Vertigo? Bonnie and Clyde? Shakespeare in Love? Not many...
yours, Peter T.

Subject: RE: WOOFIEST!!NEW WORST MOVIE EVER!!!!
From: katlaughing
Date: 18 Aug 99 - 05:49 PM

PeterT: "The Visitor", a french comedy, endearing and just keeps building, definitely funny throughout.

Love Ned Devine.

I guess I am a movie slut/glutton because I usually suspend all critical reasoning and go just to enjoy. I would go to a matinee everyday, if I could and if oour local theatres showed them.

Have walked out on a few, including Little Shop of Horrors. Hated it with a passion.

Was blown away, pun intended, by Pulp Fiction. The only Costner film I liked was Dances with Wolves.

I do NOT want to see T. Cruise nekkid, esp. with that effed up accent in Far & Away.

Have seen some really good things on the Independent Film Channel, lately, but miss the big screen. Hate to watch movies at home.

True Grit was one of the most gawdawfull movies ever made! I wanted to strangle that stupid girl!

kat

Subject: RE: WOOFIEST!!NEW WORST MOVIE EVER!!!!
From: katlaughing
Date: 18 Aug 99 - 07:00 PM

Peter: Sorry, it is "The Visitors". Really can't recommend it enough, as long as you don't mind subtitles.

Subject: RE: WOOFIEST!!NEW WORST MOVIE EVER!!!!
From: MAG (inactive)
Date: 18 Aug 99 - 08:48 PM

I've got to step in and defend "Truly Madly Deeply." The premise follows the outline of the folk archetype where the lover thinks he/she wants to die to be with the beloved, and that lasts until he/she grasps the yuckiness of death. He is called back by the depth of her grief (and I couldn't for the life of me understand, for the first hour, why I had found it in the comedy section) and has a mission to gently nudge her back into life.

Wife of Usher's Well and all that.

"Sixth Sense" well, I'd better not give anything away.

Ed Wood just plain couldn't be bothered to learn his craft, which is why we who feel lazy too much of the time find him so endearing.

Subject: RE: WOOFIEST!!NEW WORST MOVIE EVER!!!!
From: Kirsten
Date: 18 Aug 99 - 09:08 PM

Correction: Aguirre: der Zorn Gottes / The Wrath of God was directed by Werner *Herzog* (of Nosferatu fame), not Werner *Fassbinder*, who did In a Year of 13 Moons, Satan's Brew, Veronika Voss, etc.

I'd put Pulp Fiction on a bad movie list, but I recommend Lock, Stock, and 2 Smoking Barrels as an excellent alternative.

LYK

Subject: RE: WOOFIEST!!NEW WORST MOVIE EVER!!!!
From: WyoWoman
Date: 18 Aug 99 - 09:34 PM

Oh, good. I KNEW Fassbinder wasn't right for Aguirre, but I had gone blank about the real director. Have you seen "Fitzcarraldo" and the movie about the making of Fitzcarraldo? Amazing, what Herzog went through to get that film made. And what a fascinating story -- allegedly true -- guy decides to build an opera house in the middle of the rain forest. Lots of opportunity to discuss the nature of folly in *that* one!

"Truly, Madly, Deeply" is one of my favorite romantic movies. Just like men, movies don't have to be perfect all the way through, all the time.

;- ww

Subject: RE: WOOFIEST!!NEW WORST MOVIE EVER!!!!
From: TonyK
Date: 18 Aug 99 - 10:02 PM

Blair Witch gets my vote for #1 on the ultimate barf list.

Subject: RE: WOOFIEST!!NEW WORST MOVIE EVER!!!!
From: WyoWoman
Date: 18 Aug 99 - 10:18 PM

I've heard that from many friends. Although I generally favor indie films, I may skip this particular one. I'm hype-aversive, and besides, I tend to spit up when even the slightest bit motion sick. (This gives pause to my dance partners when they decide to do a bunch of those twirlie things. Splut.) I can just see me doing the technicolor yawn in the middle of a dark theater... Nah. I'll pass.

ww

Subject: RE: WOOFIEST!!NEW WORST MOVIE EVER!!!!
From: FrankH
Date: 19 Aug 99 - 03:09 AM

I thought I was pretty tough and could watch anything, but I walked (no, ran!)out of Pasolini's "Salo"

The best-made "worst" movie

Subject: RE: WOOFIEST!!NEW WORST MOVIE EVER!!!!
From: Peter T.
Date: 19 Aug 99 - 09:50 AM

MAG, I am a sucker for archetypes too, and TMD does that for the first while, but it loses its nerve halfway through, like most people who play with archetypes. The heroine is rewarded by immediately getting a superwonderful new boyfriend, and picturesque grief, and reconciliation, and for all I know 3 rooms of carpeting. It is the same reason why no one has made a decent film of Frankenstein -- as soon as people get started on it they go wild because they can't stand to tell the story straight. Most horror movies are the same: slashing and special effects are a way of avoiding real terror. You can always see the moment of turning away from the darkness arrive. TMD is the same. What I object to is not these films lack of perfection, but the potential they open up and then cheapen. Out of delicacy, I avoid the obvious continuation of the comparison to men.
yours, Peter T.

Subject: RE: WOOFIEST!!NEW WORST MOVIE EVER!!!!
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 19 Aug 99 - 12:09 PM

Now I realise I'm going back quite a bit for these, but I remember being intensely disappointed with "A Man and a Woman", I Am Curious (yellow), and Elvira Madigan". I think because I had become enamoured of foreign films, I thought they must ALL be free of the silliness that I found in a lot of Hollywood flicks. Not true!

Subject: RE: WOOFIEST!!NEW WORST MOVIE EVER!!!!
From: MAG (inactive)
Date: 19 Aug 99 - 12:35 PM

I guess TMD just is a chick flick ...

Subject: RE: WOOFIEST!!NEW WORST MOVIE EVER!!!!
From: annamill
Date: 19 Aug 99 - 12:55 PM

TonyK, just saw Blair Witch. Sucked.

Peter, I just saw Sixth Sense and I'm still thinking about it. I enjoyed it.

Dr.Strangelove. I could easily say this might be my favorite film. Sellers played three parts and each was funnier than the next. "I told you never to call me here". I proudly have this film in my collection. Right next to Young Frankenstein.

I loved "Always" with Richard Dreyfus.

Audrey Hepburn, a lady I have the utmost respect for, as I did her mother. I enjoy most every part I have seen her in. Yes, she has an old world genteel charm.

Somehow, I just couldn't imagine her making love.

Worst film. There are too many to name.

I'm having a wonderful vacation.

Love, annap

Subject: RE: WOOFIEST!!NEW WORST MOVIE EVER!!!!
From: Jack (who is called Jack)
Date: 19 Aug 99 - 01:21 PM

Annap you are so right about Sellers in Strangelove. The Presidents call to the Russian Premier is THE funniest moment in cinema. I always wondered how much of that was scripted and how much was ad-libbed by Sellers.

Well Sergey, we have this General and he went a litte...funny. Just funny thats all. And you know what he went and did? Well I'll tell you what he did. He sent a squadron of planes...to bomb your country. (pause) Well how do you think I feel about it!

Subject: RE: WOOFIEST!!NEW WORST MOVIE EVER!!!!
From: Peter T.
Date: 19 Aug 99 - 01:44 PM

"O.K. But if anything goes wrong, you will have to answer for this to the Coca-Cola company".
"Mr. President, we cannot affort to have a mine-shaft gap"
"Mr. President, I'm not saying we won't get our hair mussed. Ten, fifteen million casualties, tops."
"Women seek me out Mandrake, they seek my essence."
....And a hundred others....
My father was a general in the Air Force during the 60's, and he worked in the various war rooms and Big Board -- he often said Strangelove was by far the greatest film ever made about the military.
yours, Peter T.
P.S. Sorry The Blair Witch Project is no good. It was on my list.

Subject: RE: WOOFIEST!!NEW WORST MOVIE EVER!!!!
From: annamill
Date: 20 Aug 99 - 01:00 PM

"If she gets weary, woman do get weary, wearing the same ol-l-ld dress. If she gets weary, try a little tenderness."

We'll meet again, don't know where, don't know when. We'll meet again, sweetheart"

Starting song and ending song from Dr. Strangelove.

Sorry about Blair Witch, Peter. It was touted as one of the scariest movies by several people I knew. I'm hard skinned when it comes to being scared at movies. I was very disappointed. I do have to say that the acting was very well done though. It was very believable. I can see where some might find it scary.

The only movie that ever frightened me was "Night of the Living Dead". The original, not the new one. Strangely enough, that one's in my collection too.

I haven't seen the good Dr. in quite a while. The weather here is threatening today. A wonderful day for Strangelove. ;-) Pun intended

love, annap

Subject: RE: WOOFIEST!!NEW WORST MOVIE EVER!!!!
From: as_a_mauve
Date: 20 Aug 99 - 01:21 PM

He has a wife, you know...

Incontinentia...

Incontinentia Buttocks.

Subject: RE: WOOFIEST!!NEW WORST MOVIE EVER!!!!
From: Vic in Australia
Date: 21 Aug 99 - 10:37 AM

............."Cocktail"............

Subject: RE: WOOFIEST!!NEW WORST MOVIE EVER!!!!
From: Peter T.
Date: 21 Aug 99 - 11:04 AM

"Cocktail!" Now there was a bad film. Wonder what it has in common with EWS.....hmmmmm......
yours, Peter T.

Subject: RE: WOOFIEST!!NEW WORST MOVIE EVER!!!!
From: Jeremiah McCaw
Date: 23 Aug 99 - 12:23 PM

Best bad movie? Good luck finding it in your local video store, but I believe it's worth the effort: "A Polish Vampire in Burbank". Imagine our hero: a young Jewish vampire whose vampire parents want to throw him out of the house 'cause he won't go out and make his own kills. Cheaply made, wooden acting, but with a curious vitality that actually makes it charming somehow. Don't ask me to explain it.