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Death of a loved one - songs to help you

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Soldier boy 30 Jun 10 - 09:04 PM
Bill D 30 Jun 10 - 09:18 PM
Bill D 30 Jun 10 - 09:20 PM
GUEST 30 Jun 10 - 09:23 PM
Midchuck 30 Jun 10 - 09:31 PM
GUEST 30 Jun 10 - 09:37 PM
Soldier boy 30 Jun 10 - 09:41 PM
Amos 30 Jun 10 - 09:49 PM
GUEST 30 Jun 10 - 10:25 PM
ranger1 30 Jun 10 - 10:38 PM
Smokey. 30 Jun 10 - 10:38 PM
GUEST 30 Jun 10 - 10:55 PM
Effsee 30 Jun 10 - 11:27 PM
Phil Cooper 01 Jul 10 - 12:02 AM
Janie 01 Jul 10 - 12:21 AM
the lemonade lady 01 Jul 10 - 02:40 AM
BlueJay 01 Jul 10 - 03:23 AM
Lizzie Cornish 1 01 Jul 10 - 03:52 AM
GUEST,CAP 01 Jul 10 - 03:57 AM
Lizzie Cornish 1 01 Jul 10 - 04:04 AM
Alan Day 01 Jul 10 - 04:11 AM
GUEST,happylassie 01 Jul 10 - 04:34 AM
open mike 01 Jul 10 - 04:36 AM
scouse 01 Jul 10 - 05:38 AM
GUEST,buspassed 01 Jul 10 - 05:43 AM
BusyBee Paul 01 Jul 10 - 06:55 AM
AllisonA(Animaterra) 01 Jul 10 - 07:57 AM
Jeri 01 Jul 10 - 08:14 AM
oldhippie 01 Jul 10 - 08:58 AM
autoharpbob 01 Jul 10 - 10:47 AM
Soldier boy 01 Jul 10 - 09:13 PM
GUEST,mg 01 Jul 10 - 11:43 PM
Soldier boy 04 Jul 10 - 05:47 PM
GUEST,bardan 04 Jul 10 - 08:10 PM
Tattie Bogle 04 Jul 10 - 08:43 PM
GUEST,memorial jewellery 05 Jul 10 - 07:10 AM
PHJim 05 Jul 10 - 10:49 AM
PHJim 05 Jul 10 - 11:02 AM
PHJim 05 Jul 10 - 11:05 AM
topical tom 05 Jul 10 - 11:14 AM
topical tom 05 Jul 10 - 11:16 AM
Eiseley 05 Jul 10 - 11:33 AM
Paul Davenport 06 Jul 10 - 09:28 AM
GUEST 06 Jul 10 - 01:47 PM
Soldier boy 12 Jul 10 - 09:31 PM
Ref 12 Jul 10 - 09:42 PM
Bobert 12 Jul 10 - 09:48 PM
GUEST,Essex girl 13 Jul 10 - 03:57 AM
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Subject: Death of a loved one - songs to help you
From: Soldier boy
Date: 30 Jun 10 - 09:04 PM

My dear old dad has just passed away, aged 88.

I am 55 and it is my first experience of death so close to our tight knit family.

Dad's death was horrible and I don't think that I will ever be able to erase it from my memory.
I am also feeling lots of anger and disgust against the UK NHS for basically just allowing my dad to starve to death and then to cover up their shameful and callous neglect by putting down 'dementia' as the cause of death!

The whole lingering and painful process left me and close family members feeling helpless and impotent, yet I am trying very hard to remain positive and to remember my less than 6 stone, bag of skin and bones dad, as the vibrant, ever-cheerful, ever-loving and remarkable father and human being that he was for most of his life. God bless him.

Music, poetry and song has always had a profound influence and impact on my life so I am asking my extended 'Mudcat' family now to search their souls and suggest songs etc that could help to heal a broken heart.

Thank you.

Chris


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Subject: RE: Death of a loved one - songs to help you
From: Bill D
Date: 30 Jun 10 - 09:18 PM

This one is moving for me....I hope in the flood of ideas sure to follow, you will find some that help you..

"WHAT'S THE LIFE OF A MAN

As I was a walking one morning at ease
A viewing the leaves as they fell from the trees
All in slow motion appearing to be
And those that had withered, they fell from the trees

What's the life of a man anymore than the leaves
A man has his season, so why should we grieve
Though all thru this life, we appear fine and gay
Like the leaves we will wither and soon fade away

If you'd seen the leaves just a few days ago
So beautiful and bright they all seemed to grow
A frost came upon them and withered them all
A storm came upon them and down they did fall

If you look in the churchyard, there you will see
Those that have passed like the leaves from the trees
When age and affliction upon us do fall
Like the leaves we must wither and down we must fall


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Subject: RE: Death of a loved one - songs to help you
From: Bill D
Date: 30 Jun 10 - 09:20 PM

If you can view YouTube, it is here


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Subject: RE: Death of a loved one - songs to help you
From: GUEST
Date: 30 Jun 10 - 09:23 PM

Chris.
Bless you and your love ones. There is a poem that has been written by a Mudcatter and I will look for it. It will not cheer you up but it will "I think" sum up your feelings. I'm sorry i don't have the person's mane who wrote it.
Guest(?)

He was ten times the man I could ever hope to be;
A hero to this child, like a giant over me.
Where is the muscle now? And where is the looming height?
Where is the booming voice? Surely this cannot be right?
The eyes that sparkled like the stars, why do they look so dim?
Don't do this to my father, Lord, I beg you, no, not him!
The fingers that taught mine double-knotting my first tie Disfigured now and bent, injured birds that cannot fly The face that looked so proud when he read my first report The smoothly shaven cheeks, now why do they look so scored? So firm and gentle was his hold the day I learned to swim Don't do this to my father, Lord, I beg you, no, not him!
The lips that drank my tears struggle just to take a sip The arms that held my fears wrapped against the evening nip The hand that steadied mine now is trembling in its turn. The brittle voice still trying to teach things I will never learn. The smile that shone the sun on me, why does it look so grim? Don't do this to my father, Lord, I beg you, no, not him!
A lifetime of love such an ending should not earn,
AH hapiness abaft, and all misery astern.
For if there is a Hell, how can it be worse than this?
The music of his breath, now just a laboured hiss.
The tree that one time stood so tall, now just a withered fern.
Please let the candle burn, my Lord, please let the candle burn!


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Subject: RE: Death of a loved one - songs to help you
From: Midchuck
Date: 30 Jun 10 - 09:31 PM

"When I Go" - Dave Carter

"The Randall Knife" - Guy Clark

Peter


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Subject: RE: Death of a loved one - songs to help you
From: GUEST
Date: 30 Jun 10 - 09:37 PM

"The Randall Knife" - Guy Clark

Great number Midchuck. Guy Clarke is a great singer song writer.

Bob Dylan's Every Grain of Sand" is also very special.
Guest (?)


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Subject: RE: Death of a loved one - songs to help you
From: Soldier boy
Date: 30 Jun 10 - 09:41 PM

Oh wow GUEST.
I can't say more for crying. My eyes are clouded with tears; those words exactley sum up how I feel.

That's spot on. Bless you. Going to bed now with a glow in my heart.

Thank you.

Chris


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Subject: RE: Death of a loved one - songs to help you
From: Amos
Date: 30 Jun 10 - 09:49 PM

Gone From My Sight

I am standing upon the seashore.
A ship at my side spreads her white sails
to the morning breeze
and starts for the blue ocean.

She is an object of beauty and strength.
I stand and watch her until at length
she hangs like a speck of white cloud
just where the sea and sky come
to mingle with each other.

Then, someone at my side says;
"There, she is gone!"
"Gone where?"
Gone from my sight. That is all.

She is just as large in mast and hull
and spar as she was when she left my side
and she is just as able to bear her
load of living freight to her destined port.

Her diminished size is in me, not in her.
And just at the moment when someone
at my side says, "There, she is gone!"

There are other eyes watching her coming,
and other voices ready to take up the glad
shout;

"Here she comes!"

And that is dying.


by Henry Van Dyke, a 19th Century clergyman, educator, poet, and religious writer.


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Subject: RE: Death of a loved one - songs to help you
From: GUEST
Date: 30 Jun 10 - 10:25 PM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uhXr885uLcc


Guest (?)


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Subject: RE: Death of a loved one - songs to help you
From: ranger1
Date: 30 Jun 10 - 10:38 PM

Crossing the Bar. John Roberts sang this one for me when my dad died two years ago.

Crossing The Bar
(based on the poem by Alfred, Lord Tennyson)

Sunset and evening star,
And one clear call for me!
And may there be no moaning of the bar,
When I put out to sea,

When I put out to sea,
When I put out to sea,
And may there be no moaning of the bar,
When I put out to sea.

But such a tide as moving seems asleep,
Too full for sound or foam,
When that which drew from out the boundless deep
Turns again home.

Turns again home,
Turns again home,
When that which drew from out the boundless deep
Turns again home.

Twilight and evening bell,
And after that the dark!
And may there be no sadness of farewell;
When I embark;

When I embark,
When I embark,
And may there be no sadness of farewell;
When I embark.


For tho' from out our bourne of Time and Place
The flood may bear me far,
I hope to see my pilot face to face
When I have crossed the bar.

When I have crossed the bar,
When I have crossed the bar,
I hope to see my pilot face to face
When I have crossed the bar.


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Subject: RE: Death of a loved one - songs to help you
From: Smokey.
Date: 30 Jun 10 - 10:38 PM

Lost both mine. I got slight comfort from the fact that they would never have to bury me.


Hope this helps:

Fear no more the heat o' the sun,
Nor the furious winter's rages;
Thou thy worldly task hast done,
Home art gone, and ta'en thy wages.
Golden lads and girls all must,
As chimney-sweepers, come to dust.

Fear no more the frown o' the great;
Thou art past the tyrants stroke;
Care no more to clothe and eat;
To thee the reed is as the oak.
The sceptre, learning, physic, must
All follow this, and come to dust.

Fear no more the lightning flash,
Nor th' all-dreaded thunder stone;
Fear not slander, censure rash;
Thou hast finished joy and moan.
All lovers young, all lovers must
Consign to thee, and come to dust.

No exorciser harm thee!
Nor no witchcraft charm thee!
Ghost unlaid forbear thee!
Nothing ill come near thee!
Quiet consummation have;
And renowned be thy grave!

William Shakespeare


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Subject: RE: Death of a loved one - songs to help you
From: GUEST
Date: 30 Jun 10 - 10:55 PM

Soldier boy my parents are now gone, and when I read the words to the poem I sent, I cry as well. To me it is the most powerful poem I have ever read. Some member here must remember who wrote this. He is a member of this site.
Guest (?)


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Subject: RE: Death of a loved one - songs to help you
From: Effsee
Date: 30 Jun 10 - 11:27 PM

It's never easy, but...


ON DEATH
Death is nothing at all
I have only slipped away into the next room
I am I, and you are you
whatever we were to each other
that we still are.
call me by my old familiar name
speak to me in the easy way
which you always used
put no difference in your tone
wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow
laugh as we always laughed
at the little jokes we enjoyed together
pray smile, think of me, pray for me
Let my name be ever the household word
that it always was
Let it be spoken without effort
without the trace of a shadow in it
Life means all that it ever meant
it is the same as it ever was
there is unbroken continuity
why should I be out of mind
because I am out of sight?
I am waiting for you
somewhere very near
just around the corner
All is well

Henry Scott Holland
(1847-1918)

Sorry for your loss.


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Subject: RE: Death of a loved one - songs to help you
From: Phil Cooper
Date: 01 Jul 10 - 12:02 AM

Look up Guy Davis's song Hooking Bull at the Landing. There's a youtube video of it, poor quality that is a great performance.


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Subject: RE: Death of a loved one - songs to help you
From: Janie
Date: 01 Jul 10 - 12:21 AM

Chris,

I'm so sorry you have lost your Dad. Sending light and love.

Here is a song that I have often found solace in when bereft by the loss of a loved one. It is not about death, and not about fathers. It simply comforts me with it's perspective of death as part and parcel of life.

WHAT YOU GIVE ME
(copyright 1988/ Laura G. Lindgren)

To Walk in your forest, To graze in your pastures, To fly in your
   starry black night

(refrain)
Such is the garden, Such the devotion
Such is the fountain of love in my heart

To flow in your river, To gaze at your colours, To sway in your
    treetops so high

refrain

1st bridge
What you give me is a doorway to God, let us bathe in the Now
Never grasping at the days ahead
Just a patience of the heart in the pastures of truth
And love, trembling love.

To let out your kite string, to feel your dark ocean, to play in the
    breakers at dawn

refrain

To shatter on your hard floor, to dance in your cobwebs, to sing the
    song of our death

refrain

2nd bridge
You are teaching me songs that I never dreamed of.
Opening worlds that I never hoped for
I'm breathing my breath, I'm dying my death
Sing that the world doesn't end.

To read your sad story, to bask in your glory, to sit in the presence
    of God

refrain

To know beyond knowing in the patience of being
beyond thought, beyond wanting to know

refrain


Janie


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Subject: RE: Death of a loved one - songs to help you
From: the lemonade lady
Date: 01 Jul 10 - 02:40 AM

You have described the treatment of my 90 yr old father who's in hospital now. Bored out of his mind, staring at a wall all day and given disgusting food. My Mum and I go in at lunch time every day with his favourite food, and chat to the other inmates. The carers didn't like it at first and told us many lies about food hygiene and a broken microwave but they're used to us now.
Go to youtube and search Katherine Nutbeam singing in her yellow dress - Somewhere along the Road, for her father; it's wonderful.
Sal


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Subject: RE: Death of a loved one - songs to help you
From: BlueJay
Date: 01 Jul 10 - 03:23 AM

Soldier Boy--Watch Don Conoscenti playing his song, "The Other Side".
Google "Don Conoscenti The Other Side", specifically on You Tube. This is a GREAT song for bereavement. Don Con has played it here in La Veta, CO twice following the deaths of valued community members. Our band, D&A, just played it a few weeks ago at a memorial service for a dear friend, Ray Reynolds who passed away suddenly. Judging from comments from his widow, Robin, and numerous family members from out of state, this song was a highlight of the memorial to Ray Reynolds.

Have a listen, I think you will be glad you did. BTW, I share your sorrow, with the passing of both of my parents.

The Other Side - Live
from Extremely Live At Eddies Attic - Cogtone 013 - 2002


i'm over on the other side
where life and death softly divide.
left my skin and bones behind
now i'm over on the other side.

can you feel me there with you?
my breath is gone but i'm not through.
loved you then and i still do
from over on the other side.

i can fly. really fly.
below the earth ... all through the sky.
tell em all i did not die.
i'm just over on the other side.

it's good here on the other side.
the sweetest songs...the bluest skies.
thank you for the tears you cried
but it's good here on the other side.

i can fly. really fly.
below the earth...all through the sky.
tell em all i did not die.
i'm just over on the other side

the world is smaller than a needle's eye.
where life and death softly divide.
when you leave your skin and bones behind
i'll be waiting on the other side.

i can fly. really fly.
below the earth ... all through the sky.
go tell em all i did not die.
i'm just over on the other side.

Don Conoscenti
Published by Desert Muse / SESAC


Thanks,BlueJay


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Subject: RE: Death of a loved one - songs to help you
From: Lizzie Cornish 1
Date: 01 Jul 10 - 03:52 AM

'Release' performed by Sinead O'Connor

Don't argue amongst yourselves
Because of the loss of me
I'm sitting amongst yourselves
Don't think you can't see me
Don't argue amongst yourselves
Because of the loss of me
I haven't gone anywhere
But out of my body

Reach out and you'll touch me
Make effort to speak to me
Call out and you'll hear me
Be happy for me

[Ullean pipe solo]

Don't argue amongst yourselves
Because of the loss of me
I haven't gone anywhere
But out of my body

Reach out and you'll touch me
Make effort to speak to me
Call out and you'll hear me
Be happy for me

Reach out and you'll touch me
Make effort to speak to me
Call out and you'll hear me
Be happy for me


Sinead O'Connor & The Afro Celts - 'Release'


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Subject: RE: Death of a loved one - songs to help you
From: GUEST,CAP
Date: 01 Jul 10 - 03:57 AM

Sorry to hear of your loss. I found music a solice when lost both my father & two close friends in the same year.
Jackie Leven's song " In memory of my mother" & the title track from the same album "Elegy for Johnny Cash" both helped me as did John Wright singing Piere Pettis song "Family" I think it is about the death of a child but the words are beautiful.


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Subject: RE: Death of a loved one - songs to help you
From: Lizzie Cornish 1
Date: 01 Jul 10 - 04:04 AM

(sorry, that posted before I meant it to)

Dear Chris,

I'm so very sorry to hear about your Dad. Words seem so inadequate at this moment in time, and yet, so many of the words above are healing in their own way. I hope that some of them bring you comfort.

I love the words from 'Release' because I eventually learnt to do that with my Dad. And in letting him go, I got him back, along with all the happy memories, all the love that he surrounded me with.

It will change. It will get better. It will become easier. It will take time. But it will happen.

I wish you and your family much peace.
With love
Lizzie x


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Subject: RE: Death of a loved one - songs to help you
From: Alan Day
Date: 01 Jul 10 - 04:11 AM

I wrote a tune for my Aunt Ada (Auntie Ada's Waltz)and her Sister my Mother Jean when they died (Jean's Waltz )and it is very emotional when I hear people joining in with them.
If I get time today I will post the words of a song which helped a friend recently who lost his Dad.
You have some lovely memories that will not die Soldier Boy.
Al


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Subject: RE: Death of a loved one - songs to help you
From: GUEST,happylassie
Date: 01 Jul 10 - 04:34 AM

It is a horrible time but will get better I promise you.
Too many songs to list but Reconciliation by Ron Kavana helps to remind one that we will meet again in the future & present memories help.                                                             My best memory is of a friends funeral which was unlike any I had been to before, started with the lady whom had died singing one of her own songs, then a lovely version of Blue Mountain Tyne by a promament artist, a reading from her daughter, then we all sung Twinkle twinkle little star. This was followed by fireworks (sparklers) at the wake.
Look back at the good times & talk about your dad every chance you get, it really does help.


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Subject: RE: Death of a loved one - songs to help you
From: open mike
Date: 01 Jul 10 - 04:36 AM

http://www.poetseers.org/poem_of_the_day_archive/twoth/do_not_stand_at_my_grave_and_weep/

this poem has been attributed to several authors/poets.

I Did Not Die

Do not stand at my grave and forever weep.
I am not there; I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn's rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and forever cry.
I am not there. I did not die.


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Subject: RE: Death of a loved one - songs to help you
From: scouse
Date: 01 Jul 10 - 05:38 AM

This song is very special.. I know it's helped many people.

As Aye,

Phil.

Absent Friends

What seemed important them becomes trivial when,         
Fate deals the cards that forces your hand ,                  
All the places we've been all the things we have seen,      
No more in the future,it just isn't planned,            

It's all very strange but when you went I changed
It just seem to happen with the passing of each day,
Oh,I don't understand is it part of a plan,
Does one person grow when another fades away.

Small things you do,weave pictures of you                  
They're printed for life on the back of my mind,            
I was always so sure,your love was so pure,                  
To the faults and the bad times a loved one stays blind      

I always found that when you where around
You help me with worries and eased all my fears,
You always had time for problems of mine,
A shoulder to cry on a listening ear.

Refrain.

Time heals wounds they say ,
Time takes the pain away,
I don't know why it never happened to me,
It's years since you went away,
But I miss you night and day,
Why you had to go is a mystery to me.


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Subject: RE: Death of a loved one - songs to help you
From: GUEST,buspassed
Date: 01 Jul 10 - 05:43 AM

Heard this poem for the first time recently at a dear friend's funeral and for me it says it all

So many different lengths of time by Brian Patten

How long does a man live after all?
A thousand days or only one?
One week or a few centuries?
How long does a man spend living or dying
and what do we mean when we say gone forever?

Adrift in such preoccupations, we seek clarification.
We can go to the philosophers
but they will weary of our questions.
We can go to the priests and rabbis
but they might be busy with administrations.

So, how long does a man live after all?
And how much does he live while he lives?
We fret and ask so many questions -
then when it comes to us
the answer is so simple after all.

A man lives for as long as we carry him inside us,
for as long as we carry the harvest of his dreams,
for as long as we ourselves live,
holding memories in common, a man lives.

His lover will carry his man's scent, his touch:
his children will carry the weight of his love.
One friend will carry his arguments,
another will hum his favourite tunes,
another will still share his terrors.

And the days will pass with baffled faces,
then the weeks, then the months,
then there will be a day when no question is asked,
and the knots of grief will loosen in the stomach
and the puffed faces will calm.
And on that day he will not have ceased
but will have ceased to be separated by death.

How long does a man live after all?
A man lives so many different lengths of time.


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Subject: RE: Death of a loved one - songs to help you
From: BusyBee Paul
Date: 01 Jul 10 - 06:55 AM

When my dad died it was "Talking with my Father", written by Dougie Maclean.


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Subject: RE: Death of a loved one - songs to help you
From: AllisonA(Animaterra)
Date: 01 Jul 10 - 07:57 AM

Bless you, Soldier boy. These good folks have offered some beautiful songs. When I had a sudden, terrible bereavement they were here to help me, too.
One song that helped me survive the grief was
Row On.
I'm trying to find a You tube or other recording of it on line and will post it if I can find it.


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Subject: RE: Death of a loved one - songs to help you
From: Jeri
Date: 01 Jul 10 - 08:14 AM

The song(?) lyrics above (from a guest) come from BABA by
George Papavgeris. There is more than one song in his post, and the whole thread may be helpful, although the YouTube links (except the last one) don't work.


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Subject: RE: Death of a loved one - songs to help you
From: oldhippie
Date: 01 Jul 10 - 08:58 AM

My condolences.

ONE SMALL STAR by Eric Bogle

When I need to feel you near me
I stand in this quiet place
Where the silver light of countless stars
Falling on my face
Though they all shine so brightly
Somehow it comforts me to know
That some that burn the brightest
Died an eternity ago

Chorus
But your light still shines
It's one small star to guide me
And it helps me to hold back the dark
Your light's still shining in my heart

I'm learning how to live without you
And I never thought I could
And even how to smile again
I never thought I would
And I cherish your heart's memories
Cause they bring you back to life
Some caress me gently
And some cut me like a knife

Chorus

Can your soul be out there some where
Beyond the infinity of time
I guess you've found some answers now
I'll have to wait for mine
When my light joins with yours one day
We'll shine through time and space
And one day fall on a distant age
Upon some stranger's face

But your light still shines
It's one small star to guide me
And it helps me to hold back the dark
Your light's still shining in my heart
Your light's still shining in my heart


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Subject: RE: Death of a loved one - songs to help you
From: autoharpbob
Date: 01 Jul 10 - 10:47 AM

"Your long Journey" - Doc Watson.
"Resurrection Day" - Joe Newberry.

Both very religious, and I am not really, but they still both get to me.


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Subject: RE: Death of a loved one - songs to help you
From: Soldier boy
Date: 01 Jul 10 - 09:13 PM

Good grief people I never ever imagined so many good people (now 30) would respond to my initial posting within 24 hours.

Thank you ever so much. It just shows how much the death of a loved one has had such an impact on so many of you.

I have received so many heart-felt and encouraging messages that I am at a loss to express my thanks and appreciation.

Thank you, thank you and thank you again.

I always knew that my extended 'Mudcat' brethren would be there for me.

Thank you once more.

Chris


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Subject: RE: Death of a loved one - songs to help you
From: GUEST,mg
Date: 01 Jul 10 - 11:43 PM

The one by Ewan MacColl that goes my old man was a good old man now I am your old man. m g


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Subject: RE: Death of a loved one - songs to help you
From: Soldier boy
Date: 04 Jul 10 - 05:47 PM

Anymore thoughts on this subject or shall I just allow this thread to slip into oblivion?


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Subject: RE: Death of a loved one - songs to help you
From: GUEST,bardan
Date: 04 Jul 10 - 08:10 PM

there's nothing to be said really except condolences. Tragedy comes into all of our lives eventually and it's pretty shitty, but life does go on. I would plump for songs that you would link to him in some way that'll bring the happy memories to the fore, or songs that'll cut deep and let you get some sort of catharsis, but that's me. I read a few words from the earth sea quartet at my dad's service and they were a sort of comfort to me. They're spoken in a sort of dry, grey land of the dead which is probably a metaphor for something to someone who has, in a way, given up life to be immortal and talking about another person.   

"Did you not understand that he, even he is but a shadow and a name? His death did not diminish life. Nor did it diminish him. He is there-there, not here! Here is nothing, dust and shadows. There, he is the earth and sunlight, the leaves of trees, the eagle's flight. He is alive. And all who ever died, live; they are reborn, and have no end, nor will there be an end.


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Subject: RE: Death of a loved one - songs to help you
From: Tattie Bogle
Date: 04 Jul 10 - 08:43 PM

Just lost my father-in -law 5 weeks ago: he was nearly 90 and also had a pretty aggressive form of dementia latterly. My son read this poem by Robyn Rancman at his funeral:


MISS ME, BUT LET ME GO

When I come to the end of the road,
And the sun has set for me.
I want no tears in a gloom filled room.
Why cry for a soul set free?

Miss me a little but not too much.
And not with head bowed low.
Remember the love that we once shared.
Miss me, but LET ME GO.

For this is a journey, we all must take.
And each must go alone.
Its all part of the master's plan.
A step on the road to home.

When you are lonely and sick of heart,
Go to the friends we know.
And bury your sorrows in doing good deeds,
Miss me, but LET ME GO.

Soldier Boy, you may not be ready to let go yet, but hope it brings some consolation with passage of time.


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Subject: RE: Death of a loved one - songs to help you
From: GUEST,memorial jewellery
Date: 05 Jul 10 - 07:10 AM

really love this song. She wrote it after the still birth of baby many years ago. Brings tears to my eyes when I hear it.


Underneath this canopy of snow
Where fifty-seven winters
Took their toll
Where did you go?

And I believed in you
I believed in you
Like Elvis Presley
Singing psalms on a Sunday
Where did you go?
Well she's gone to meet
Her maker
Back to where she came from
Come to save her soul...
Come to save her soul...
Come to take her home
'Cause it's late and past
Your bedtime
Well past bedtime
Angel
My angel
Fly over me
Angel...
She took her life
Within her hands
She took her life
Within her own two hands
And no one can tell her
What to do now
And I believed in you
I believed in you
Like Elvis Presley
Singin' live from Las Vegas
Where did you go?
Well she's gone to meet
Her maker
Back to where she came from
Come to save her soul...

memorial jewellery


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Subject: RE: Death of a loved one - songs to help you
From: PHJim
Date: 05 Jul 10 - 10:49 AM

Sorry if it's already been suggested, but I learned My Buddy the week my dad died and still think of him when I play it.


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Subject: RE: Death of a loved one - songs to help you
From: PHJim
Date: 05 Jul 10 - 11:02 AM

This Todd Snider song written for his dad always brings a tear:

MISSING YOU

I feel like missing you today
Sometimes I just get this way
Seems like everything I see
Brings back another memory
I must feel like missing you today

You're never too far from my mind
I feel like crying sometimes
It's always been so hard to do
Especially when it comes to you
You're never too far from my mind

I know someday I'll see your smiling face again
I don't know when but I know it's true
One other thing I know
No matter where we go
You love me and I love you

I can't help wondering out loud
If we'd have ever worked things out
I wish I could make amends
For anything I might have said back then
I can't help wondering out loud

I feel like missing you today
I ain't lettin' nobody stand in my way
I'm gonna pull down these shades
And play some old songs


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Subject: RE: Death of a loved one - songs to help you
From: PHJim
Date: 05 Jul 10 - 11:05 AM

A check with google lets me know that someone named 50Cent or G-Unit also has a song called My Buddy. That's not the one I meant. Here's the one I was talking about:

Nights are long since you went away,
I think about you all through the day,
My buddy, my buddy, no buddy quite so true.
Miss your voice, the touch of your hand,
Just long to know that you understand,
My buddy, my buddy, your buddy misses you


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Subject: RE: Death of a loved one - songs to help you
From: topical tom
Date: 05 Jul 10 - 11:14 AM

All my sympathy and thoughts I send to you on the loss of your father. Although not written for the loss of a father, I have always loved the song

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Subject: RE: Death of a loved one - songs to help you
From: topical tom
Date: 05 Jul 10 - 11:16 AM

Sorry, I tried to make a blue hickey but failed. The title of the song is "Another Time, Another Place" with the lyrics of Dave Van Ronk.


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Subject: RE: Death of a loved one - songs to help you
From: Eiseley
Date: 05 Jul 10 - 11:33 AM

Dear Soldier Boy,

I recently wrote this song to communicate what I felt after the death of someone I loved. It is set to J.S. Bach's music of the same name, the prelude.

Eiseley

Suite for Cello Number 2 in D Minor

Everywhere I see a solitary bird.
I see his ragged silhouette against the
bleak and empty winter sky.
Where is your lovely black-winged mate
who flies so often by your side, inside your cries
where has she flown, wherever has she fled,
oh, is she lost beyond your feathered ken?
Will she return? Will she return? She will return.                

Dear lonesome bird, you're not alone in seeking for elusive wings,
for my eyes too, they scan the skies, the hidden tops of mountain peaks,
the lonesome ways, the thronging crowds, the gentle slopes,                        
the rocky shores, the narrow alleyways between
the hostile brick and concrete walls. Sometimes I think I see a flash                
of color in a graying sky and trace it with my eyes to where it lands,
but when my hasty feet arrive I find no bird but just
a scrap of cloth tormented by the hungry wind in twilight, going, and now gone.        

But now I know I look in vain for what I seek.                
How can I ever hope to see the form that does not even
to my knowledge haunt my dreams?
The sun still shines and makes things grow.
The tawny grass flows up and over slopes                 
and covers paths I followed innocently long ago.
The time goes on, the years go by, the seasons pass,
the bright sun sets and rises every day anew.                 
But just on earth, just for us here, for us alone.
And still I walk the rocky trails and laughing banks of mountain streams,
the arid hills, and wooded groves. I tread the dark and thorny paths
I never knew in brighter days; I never realized were there.

But everywhere I set my feet, in all those winding, narrow ways and rocky tracks,
I see the subtle, simple signs of one who's passed along that way and placed         
with purposeful intention there some stones.
I read the messages intended for my eyes and placed where only I will see.        
And so I step in company with one I seek, but slightly slipping out of time.         
I walk alone but not alone, but not alone, not quite alone.

But everywhere I look I see a solitary bird,
alone against the
bleak and empty winter sky.
Where is your lovely black-winged mate
who flies so often by your side, inside, inside your cries, inside your cries?
Where has thy love flown, will she return? She will return.

I walk alone but not alone.
And everywhere I set my feet, in all the winding tracks,
I see the messages from one who's gone ahead
and placed the stones where only I will see.
I see a solitary bird, I see his ragged silhouette
against the sky.
I read the messages he left
in odd-shaped stones, along my path,
a subtle message just for me.
I see a solitary bird.
I walk alone but not alone.


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Subject: RE: Death of a loved one - songs to help you
From: Paul Davenport
Date: 06 Jul 10 - 09:28 AM

Hi Soldier Boy, Very sorry to hear of your loss. I lost my Dad last year. Thing is he died two days after the unexpected death of my Uncle. Worse, my other Uncle was only just brought back after his heart stopped in an operation the following Wednesday. Needless to say it was a trying time. The song that got me through it? There were several but this one always works for me.


THE NEXT TO DIE

We meet 'neath the sounding rafters
And the walls around are bare
As they echo to our laughter
Twould not seem that the dead were there
                So stand to your glasses steady
                'Tis all we have left to prize
                Quaff a cup to the dead already
                And one to the next who dies

Who dreads to the dead returning
Who shrinks from that sable shore
Where the high and the haughty yearning
Of the souls will be no more
                So stand…

There's a mist on the glass congealing
'Tis the hurricane's firey breath
And tis thus that the warmth of feeling
Turns to ice in the grasp of death
                So stand…

There is not time for repentance
'Tis folly to yield to despair
When a shudder may finish a sentence
Or death put an end to a prayer
                So stand…

Time was when we frowned upon others
We thought we were wiser then
But now let us all be brothers
For we never may meet again
                So stand…

But a truce to this dismal story
For death is a distant friend
So here's to a life of glory
And a laurel to crown each end
                So stand…

Written by a Captain Darling supposedly during the Indian mutiny. Sentimental? maybe, does it make me cry? No, it makes me laugh and that's kind of how the old guy would have wanted it.
All the best,
Paul


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Subject: RE: Death of a loved one - songs to help you
From: GUEST
Date: 06 Jul 10 - 01:47 PM

How about the Joy Of Living by Ewan MacColl?


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Subject: RE: Death of a loved one - songs to help you
From: Soldier boy
Date: 12 Jul 10 - 09:31 PM

Thank you very much folks for all your beautiful sentiments and verse.

Dad was laid to rest on Tues 6 July and since then I've just felt numb but have had to pull myself together because there has been so much to sort out.

We had the option at the funeral of the vicar (who did not know him) gleeming some facts and tit-bits about Dad's life and then presenting them at the service or a family member standing up to the mark to talk about dad and his life.

Thanks to many of your heart-felt comments, encouragements and the beautiful inspirational prose you have posted on this thread I actually felt uplifted and brave enough to volunteer to do a Eulogy for Dad at the service.

Rather than focus on the frail old man and the misery of his final days and weeks I totally focused on describing his life, the man he was,the qualities that made him so exceptional and his considerable acievements in life.

I described the incredibly active,vibrant,loving,caring,cheerful and outstanding man he was and said that that was how we should all remember him and that he was a great man.

I pretty much managed to get through the whole thing without stumbling and only cracked up at the end.
Everyone said they were very proud of me for standing up to do it and that they found it uplifting and that I perfectly described the man they all loved and cherished.

I felt very proud that I found the courage to do it and feel very glad that I did manage to do it.
I also feel that I couldn't have done it without you.

God bless my 'Mudcat' family, wherever you are.
You gave me strength when I needed it most.

Thank you forever and always.

Chris xx


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Subject: RE: Death of a loved one - songs to help you
From: Ref
Date: 12 Jul 10 - 09:42 PM

Try Rani Arbo's version of "Crossing The Bar" on Salamander Crossing. The Amidons have a wonderful arrangement of it, and also of Peggy Seeger's "Love, Call Me Home." I'd also suggest "Somewhere Along The Road" and Mary Alice Amidon's "Joy Will Come In The Morning."

My Mom died of dementia at 85 a few years ago. My thoughts are with you.


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Subject: RE: Death of a loved one - songs to help you
From: Bobert
Date: 12 Jul 10 - 09:48 PM

Goggle uo "Barefoot Servants, "Meet Me on the Southside of the Sky"...

Says it all...

I wrote a song entitled "Dancing with the Angels" for my late wife Judy and played it at her funeral... Great song, too... Just don't have all the words handy... Have a recording, tho...

Sorry about yer dad... Mine died 9 years ago... He was also 88... Miss the sunabich...

B~


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Subject: RE: Death of a loved one - songs to help you
From: GUEST,Essex girl
Date: 13 Jul 10 - 03:57 AM

Sand & Water by Beth Nielsen-Chapman. This is a beautiful song about confronting the pain from your loss. It was written by her after lossing her husband. May you saddness be receding & happy memories filling your thoughts instead. Loss my father five years ago today & time does heal.


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