Worst Movie ever

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Mar 11 - 09:25 AM

"Eyes Wide Shut" was strange. I don't know how I'd rate it, frankly. Maybe Stanley Kubrick was trying to alert the public to just how sick things are in very high places...

Stilly, I thought that the Jeff Bridges/Jessica Lange version of King Kong was simply awful! One of the worst 10 big budget movies ever in the history of film! The absolute nadir of Big Ape movies. Horrifyingly bad. Unbelievable. Wretchedly terrible. Not to mention downright creepy in a sexual sense. And the Twin Towers scene was hopeless. You cannot have drama if you pit King Kong against modern warplanes or helicopters with gatling guns on them. It's pointless. He has no more chance in that situation than a dog fighting a Sherman tank, for God's sake. The drama of him fighting Depression-era biplanes with little 30 cal. machine guns is that although he is doomed, there's still some sense of heroic proportion in his efforts to defend himself against those fragile aircraft. I can hardly think how a worse film could have been made about King Kong than the 1976 one. I still cringe when I remember it, and I want my $10 BACK!!!!

;-)

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 07 Mar 11 - 05:14 PM

I remember watching the dystopian cult classic Zardoz back in the mid-1970s. It seemed total nonsense, until I realized the farce that it was. And it said so in the very beginning, if you only remembered it. I had the same response to Rollerball, until I realized the violence was actually supposed to be that bad, and wasn't gratuitous. I don't ever want to watch Rollerball again, but it made a good point.

Each of the King Kong flicks requires the viewer to check their grasp of reality at the door. I haven't seen the Jeff Bridges Kong in many years, so I can't really compare it. The things I remember most about it were the great New York City interiors, largely in Brooklyn Heights or Park Slope, and how creepy it was to have the gorilla peek through the windows to find her.

SRS

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: darkriver
Date: 07 Mar 11 - 06:20 PM

Little Hawk,

you paid $10 for a movie ticket back in 1976??

No wonder you're pissed....

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: GUEST
Date: 07 Mar 11 - 09:20 PM

Try the CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON scared the sshhiitt out of all the kids inmy time

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: Rusty Dobro
Date: 08 Mar 11 - 03:36 AM

'Prudence and the Pill' or 'Percy', both '60s UK. Set their standards low, but failed to reach them.....

I once gave up on 'The Wicker Man' after a few minutes, appalled by wooden acting, lousy script, fake folk music and general implausibility,
but tried again and got hooked.

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Mar 11 - 10:40 AM

Well, I don't really remember what I paid, but it was probably about equivalent to $10 in today's terms. ;-)

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: J-boy
Date: 09 Mar 11 - 12:50 AM

There are great bad movies (Plan 9 from Outer Space comes to mind) and there are bad bad movies like The Postman. Waterworld was a Costner suckfest as well.

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Mar 11 - 01:21 AM

I thought Waterworld was reasonably okay, but The Postman was a disaster. I wasn't too impressed by The Bodyguard, where Kostner played opposite Whitney Houston.

A truly awful film was A Star Is Born, the one starring Kris Kristofferson and Barbra Streisand. Never have onscreen lovers had worse chemistry! ;-)

Another pretty dreadful film was yet another remake of the original A Star Is Born, which was a 1980s Bob Dylan film called Hearts Of Fire. Everyone in it except Dylan was totally forgettable...he was interesting to watch merely because he is Bob Dylan...the screenplay was pretty hopeless...but it was fun seeing Richie Havens, an old friend of Bob's.

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: GUEST,Patsy
Date: 09 Mar 11 - 06:51 AM

In a strange way I like black and white B movies e.g. 'The Creature from the Black Lagoon' and 'The Blob' and films of that ilk for the wrong reasons, it makes me chuckle. Any old black and white English film where the police are giving chase in plummy English accents and still manage to keep their helmets securely on their heads is such a laugh to watch.

Before Leslie Nielson made the spoof Airplane movies I used to watch the 'proper' disaster movies that he was in previous to that. I always thought they were pretty awful but as soon as the spoof ones came along I then saw the other ones in a different light. Knowing his sense of humour I could imagine what went on in the outtakes and can't take them seriously at all.

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: GUEST,DonMeixner
Date: 09 Mar 11 - 08:55 AM

Interesting to hear everyone's take on King Kong. I loved every inch of it. It did what it was supposed to do. I was entertained.

I don't know if the Dinosaur stampede was excessive. It was fun to watch. The bug fight was icky and that's the point I suppose. It was cut out of the original film because it was too frightening I am told.

I liked Brody because he didn't look heroic until he was doing heroic things. Jack Black was the weakest part for me. I'd rather have seen John Rhys Davies in that character but even so Black was pretty good.

I am in love with Naomi Watts (?) and that was her job in the movie.

I watch every couple months or so and see something I missed.

Jackson is pretty good at what he does.

Don

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: ollaimh
Date: 09 Mar 11 - 12:24 PM

hands down the worst movie i have ever seen was" they saved hitler's brain" it was a bad sci fi thriller about saving you know who's brain and getting marching orders for the new reich, that was done in black a white with no expense avoided. occasionally the filming would show the grips and equipment onn the edges of the shot. there was a cheesey monologue by a sam spade style privete detective describing his uncovering of the cabal saving the brain. it was so bad it was funny--once!

cbc ran it late night a few times in the seventies, but i haven't seen it since.(seeing it three times was a testament to my wasted youth)

i have never seen a good movie by adam sandler as well--how does he keep getting funding? and tim burton? he may be off the mark sometimes but he is risk taking and creative so i don't trash his failures.

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: RWilhelm
Date: 09 Mar 11 - 12:34 PM

Adam Sandler's "Grown Ups" - worst and most mis-named movie of the year.

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: DonMeixner
Date: 09 Mar 11 - 01:06 PM

Sanglish was pretty good. The rest I agree with.

D

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Mar 11 - 01:40 PM

I was horrified when Winona Ryder got a part in an Adam Sandler film...Winona has usually appeared in excellent, intelligent movies...but Adam Sandler???? There's just about nothing that can persuade me to watch an Adam Sandler movie, and I've never watched more than a fragment of any film he's done. I have yet to see the one Winona Ryder's in. I don't think I could take seeing her opposite Mr Sandler.

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 09 Mar 11 - 02:10 PM

The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford ==

as unnecessarily and clumsily long as its inept, disingenuously simple title.

A subject of great interest to me; but grossly outstayed its welcome. Would have made a good, sharp film at about 90 minutes. Instead it ran for a yawn-enforcing 153!

~Michael~

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Mar 11 - 02:28 PM

I like it a lot, MtheGM. Even bought a copy of it to keep. Maybe I'm more patient than the average westerner?

In Japan it is quite common for movies to last much longer than movies do here and to tell a story in a much slower fashion. It's because the Japanese look at things in a different way...they savour every little detail and enjoy every subtlety. Western audiences tend to want to "cut to the chase", and they get bored quite quickly when the action slows down.

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: DonMeixner
Date: 09 Mar 11 - 03:15 PM

Not entirely a reverse of the topic, Tombstone vs. Wyatt Earp?

I favor Tombstone for many reasons. The story was more complete I think. and I prefered the actors. (Kurt Russell, Sam Elliot, Dana Delaney, Val Kilmer etc....) but Dennis Quaid was a fine Doc Holliday.

Don

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 09 Mar 11 - 05:54 PM

Have you read The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford? It is one of the best books I've read in years. I read it about the same time I read Cormack McCarthy's Blood Meridian - also stunning, but one I hope they don't make into a movie. Hansen's book was brilliant. And I haven't seen the film, but it's on my NetFlix list.

SRS

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Mar 11 - 06:24 PM

I thought "Tombstone" was good entertainment, all right...but I couldn't take it seriously as any kind of realistic depiction of what actually happened. "Wyatt Earp", on the other hand, was a much more serious and realistic film. I liked it a bit better than "Tombstone", though I did like both of them. "Tombstone" was like a comic book. "Wyatt Earp" was like a story about real people.

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: GUEST,Alan Whittle
Date: 09 Mar 11 - 08:59 PM

I liked the Wyatt Earpfilm, though Casey terfertiller, Wyatt's biographer doesn't seem to think much of it. Apparently the Mclaurie family still live in Tombstone and refer to the OK Corral, as the time their family members were robbed and murdered by the Holliday/Earp gang. And they don't reckon much to either depiction of Ike Clanton.

I liked Robert Downey Jnr in Natural Born Killers. I liked Tom Hanks in That Thing You Do.

The film I hated most - couldn't watch,was the little Princess2.

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: J-boy
Date: 10 Mar 11 - 01:20 AM

"Caligula" was a complete and total piece of shit. You'd think the founder of Penthouse could at least produce a movie that might turn us on (at the very least). All it did was make everyone who ever saw it sick. It was a waste of a couple of good actor's talents, as well.Sorry Malcolm.

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Mar 11 - 01:22 AM

Yeah, but I bet it wasn't half as bad as living under the real Caligula... ;-)

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: J-boy
Date: 10 Mar 11 - 01:39 AM

Is it true or myth that he appointed his favorite horse to the Roman Senate? Either way the crazy fucker's ilk are still with us. Why and I mean WHY do we continue to put up with them? When is enough enough? And I just got way too serious. Insomnia is a bitch.

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: acegardener
Date: 10 Mar 11 - 02:33 AM

Girl on a motorcycle. Awful even the bike couldn't keep me interested

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: J-boy
Date: 10 Mar 11 - 02:38 AM

But tell us about the girl!

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: Becca72
Date: 10 Mar 11 - 03:46 PM

Stilly has helped me decide on my answer: Worst movie ever is anything with Jack Black in it. Can't STAND that guy.

I have never liked Adam Sandler, either, but I thought Grown Ups was a riot. That and Bedtime Stories were the only 2 films of AS I have had a positive review for.

And I agree with MtheGM about The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford - that one was painful to watch.

Just arrived via Netflix is "Doubt" which I have heard is actually quite good. We'll see...

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Mar 11 - 04:08 PM

Jack Black was in "School of Rock", and it's great.

"Doubt" was a pretty good movie, in my opinion.

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 11 Mar 11 - 11:43 AM

Jack Black has been okay in the films where it was appropriate for someone like Jack Black to be a character. But he doesn't mold himself to fit the role, that I can see.

If you want to move into a new realm of films, look for character actors, and look at people like Ralph Fiennes or Stephen Dillane, who are very active stage actors who make films. For women, think Marcia Gay Harden, and possibly Charlize Theron. I think the reason Dillane is not known very well is because he is simply so different in every film, you're not struck with the Jack Black or Hugh Grant character popping up and thinking "oh, I remember this guy!" (Dillane was Thomas Jefferson in the recent HBO John Adams drama).

SRS

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 11 Mar 11 - 12:49 PM

But I digress - these actors have no doubt made some stinkers, but they generally make thoughtful, well-acted films. Proceed with the discussion of silver screen dreck.

SRS

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: GUEST,Wilfried
Date: 11 Mar 11 - 02:08 PM

Ben Whore

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: RangerSteve
Date: 11 Mar 11 - 07:35 PM

I'm gonna get some flack for this, but I'll say it anyway. 2001 - a Space Odyssey. I saw it twice when it came out and didn't get it. Two people who did get it explained it to me and I still didn't get it. I saw it a few months ago on the TCM channel and I still didn't get it. And some of the scenes are way too long. The scene of a space ship docking at a space station, for example. Nothing happens for about 10 minutes, but Kubrick was apparently so in love with the accompanying music (Blue Danube Waltz) that he had to have the entire piece of music in the film. I could compare it to watching grass grow, but it wasn't that exciting.

On the other hand, I managed to live 61 years without seeing "Who's Afraid of Virginia Wolfe?" -and finally saw it a few months ago and it should be on my list of bad movies. Not one character had even the slightest redeeming qualities. I'd avoid them in real life like the plague - but I'll admit the acting was, by far, the best acting ever in any movie. ANyone who wants to be an actor should watch that movie to see how it's done. I'm grudgingly putting it on my list of great movies.

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: J-boy
Date: 11 Mar 11 - 11:08 PM

I understand not liking 2001,but as with most Kubrick movies you shouldn't watch it like you would other films. Kubrick was better at setting a mood and creating an experience than telling a story. Seeing a Kubrick movie is like viewing a great painting.

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Mar 11 - 12:07 AM

RangerSteve, I think you probably suffer from the usual short attention span or mild case of ADD that is afflicting most of the western population these days, and that's why you can't handle a beautiful scene where, in your words, "nothing happens for about 10 minutes". ;-) You don't want to feel the mood that is set by that scene and just go with it for awhile and feel the sheer beauty of it...you don't want to meditate on anything...you just want something to happen, so you can react to it! Someone should SAY something! Something should blow up! Someone should crack a joke! Something should crash! Anything! Just, please God, don't make me SIT here for several minutes while nothing happens!!!! I see people like this at traffic lights all the time. They are frantic for the light to change, because they can't bear to sit still for 30 seconds and enjoy what's around them. They MUST make the next move in their mental game (which involves an anticipated destination)!

It's a modern disease of the mind as far as I'm concerned, and you've got it, buddy.

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 12 Mar 11 - 12:17 AM

Still nobody has reminded me of title/director of dire 'expressionist'·or·whatever E European farrago about man wandering city with cavalry sabre, which I described above, 06 Mar 11 1201 AM.

Now I have recalled it to mind, I should be happy if someone could put me out of misery of trying to remember what it was & who was responsible.

Movie mavens everywhere ~~

Anyone?

Please.

~Michael~

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: J-boy
Date: 12 Mar 11 - 12:59 AM

I'm watching that space docking scene from 2001 on You-tube right now. You'll never see ten minutes from a movie more beautiful and sublime. But then again,if we all liked the same things what a boring world it would be.

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 12 Mar 11 - 01:56 AM

When my kids were old enough to appreciate some good movies I started having evenings when we'd watch together. This happened after I brought home an undubbed version of Blazing Saddles. They thought it was so funny, and were so pleased that I wasn't making them watch the tv version, that we kept watching uncut movies after that.

The first planned time this happened was on an inspiration - I bought the Chicken Run DVD to try in our new player. They thought it was good, but I realized they should understand more about it. I taped Stalag 17 next time it was on TCM and one evening we watched that. They fussed about the black and white and all the talk, but when Peter Graves got their attention they were fascinated how the story evolved around his nasty character. Anyway, they stayed with it, enjoyed it, and as soon as it was over I popped Chicken Run into the player. You should have seen their eyes open wide as that movie they'd watched as a simple comedy/drama a couple of weeks earlier suddenly took on great significance as the opening scene zeros down on the chicken house - number 17. Another escape.

From then on, they knew that there was more to movies than the basic story. I will confess that when we watched 2001: A Space Odyssey, there were scenes (later on, that wierd living room aging episode) where they were practically howling in protest.

I was surprised last fall when my college freshman son asked to borrow my copy of 2001. I told him he could probably find it in his college library, but he said wanted a copy to keep. He got it for xmas. It took a number of years for it to sink in, and clearly the things he agonized about as a child stuck with him and he thought about them.

The stupidist movie my daughter and I watched together, a couple of years ago, was Mama Mia. Pierce Brosnan should have been dubbed, and the cast should have been clubbed for agreeing to do a story with such a stupid plot.

SRS

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Mar 11 - 12:46 PM

What is "Mama Mia" about? Okay, it's clearly got an Italian mother in it....but I mean, what else is it about? Can you give a short summary?

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: GUEST,DonMeixner
Date: 12 Mar 11 - 12:56 PM

It is a musical based on the songs of ABBA

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: GUEST,DonMeixner
Date: 12 Mar 11 - 12:58 PM

Loosely based I think. There is significantly more substance in the songs of ABBA than are plumbed by the depth of meaning in this musical.

Don

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: Richie Black (misused acct, bad email)
Date: 12 Mar 11 - 01:01 PM

Avalanche (1994) Director:Paul Shapiro, it is like pulling teeth.

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: RangerSteve
Date: 15 Mar 11 - 01:30 PM

No, Little Hawk, you've got me wrong. I can look at a great painting forever, and I've seen great movies that had no plot, but in the case of 2001, that scene wasn't particularly beautiful, and it reminded me of a person who makes a point, then goes on to explain it over and over in different ways. That scene was just longer than it needed to be, and there were other scenes in the film that did the same thing.

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: DonMeixner
Date: 15 Mar 11 - 03:08 PM

Like the entirety of the inter-dimensional flight? For my money 2010 was a better story and movie entertainment. 2001 was over all self indulgent naval gazery. For me anyway. People I know and respect think it was fabulous.

Don

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: Naemanson
Date: 15 Mar 11 - 06:55 PM

Absolute rock bottom worst movie of all time is Skeleton Man from SyFy Channel. Plan Nine from Outer Space was bad but campy. Skeleton Man is bad in every way a movie can be bad.

Premise: Ancient Native American ghost protects sacred burial site using a sword.

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: Tom - Swords & Songs
Date: 16 Mar 11 - 11:22 AM

The Last Legion with Colin Firth and Ben Kingsley

I was so annoyed after watching this film that I have come looking for somewhere to moan about it. Utter bollocks.

Poor plot line, awful accents, inconsistent storyboard, poor set and costumes, totally ridiculous in everyway possible - and yet with a great line up of actors in it.

It was so bad that I can't even create a metaphor...
Tom

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 16 Mar 11 - 01:01 PM

RapperTom, you've reminded me of a perfect candidate for the worst movie ever. And I think there is a little history to tease out of the track record of the folks involved. Deja Vu was some kind of non-scripted but plotted story line in a film ostensibly by a fellow named Henry Jaglom. His wife is Victoria Foyt, who fancies herself an "actress" and who wanted to put together a little film. (Think Andy Hardy's older, dumber sister.) In fact, I think she saw the wonderful little sleeper called Firelight with Stephen Dillane and Sophie Marceau, and thought she could do better (with herself in the lead). Firelight was a project that screenwriter William Nicholson (who has a track record of some good films, sprinkled with a few sleepers) that he undertook to produce himself. I had an email conversation with him about it a while back. That screenplay reflects Nicholson's scholarship in British literature, and is a modern story with all of the feel of Jane Eyre meets Silas Marner. Told efficiently, with no flourish (but a couple of very nice sex scenes) it's as plausible a plot as any novel of the early 1800s authors created. Think the first Mrs. Rochester, think surrogate parents, etc. (It encountered the disparaging reviews of christian-zealot removers who don't like sex, etc.) Are you still with me?

This wonderful little film stared one of those chameleon actors I mentioned, Steven Dillane, and I suspect Mrs. Jaglom talked hubbie into letting her make a movie, and in the process they must have paid huge salaries to the good actors they lulled into their trap. In addition to Dillane, it was Anna Massey, Rachel Kempson, her daughter Vanessa Redgrave, Noel Harrison, and other British stage actors. And then they made that little stinker. Can you tell I really really hated it? And of course, the competing reviews on sites are funny - people either love it or hate it. Foyt was just so bad. There is some kind of Lala land touchy-feely encounter group that gives free copies of it to illustrate their belief that the perfect person is out there for each of us and one should just chuck their current partners and launch into an affair . . .

Well. LH, you asked about Mama Mia. This is full of spoilers (so you don't have to waste your time.) That stinker was on Broadway for so long that Meryl Streep, Christine Baranski, and Julie Walters, in addition to Colin Firth, Pierce Brosnan and Stellan Skarsgard certainly knew what they were getting into. The fact that I'd only ever heard Meryl Streep sing in a film should be a clue. In fact, I think Baranski probably has the most musical theater, and that is considerable, of the bunch.

The silly premise is that as a young woman Streep fell in love with Brosnan, on a Greek island over a summer holiday. He was engaged, and left at the end of the summer and she, broken hearted, flung herself into brief affairs with two other young men, one a gay man who apparently didn't quite yet know he was gay at the time of their fling, the other a Scandinavia from the Greek islands who she went sailing around the islands with for a time. So she wasn't there when Brosnan came back to tell her he'd broken it off with the fiance.

Twenty some years pass, and we learn that the pregnant Streep had stayed in the Greek islands, managed to extort some money out of the Scandinavian/Greek guy's grandmother in order to buy and run a decrepit hotel. Her now grown daughter wants to get married and she wants to know who her father is, so after reading her mother's diary, she invites the three presumptive fathers to the wedding. The rest of the story is even more stupid from here, and the only part I really liked was the women dancing through the town and jumping off of the dock. They should have turned that into an ABBA music video and thrown the rest away. It concludes with the inevitable "why waste a good wedding" line. . . [gag]

That was fun to write! Very cathartic. Didn't know I needed cathartic this morning, I thought a cuppa tea was going to do me, but it still felt good.
SRS

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: kendall
Date: 16 Mar 11 - 01:30 PM

My vote goes to Lobsteroids. It would have to be upgraded to be called horrible.Even though I was in it it is still a pathetic piece of shit.

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Mar 11 - 10:16 PM

Ranger Steve - Okay, then. ;-) I believe you.

My nomination for worst movie ever: The Beast of Yucca Flats

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: J-boy
Date: 17 Mar 11 - 01:35 AM

The Oscar-winning "The English Patient" must have been quite well made. I fell asleep after the first 30 minutes. Good book though.

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: GUEST,Patsy
Date: 17 Mar 11 - 10:22 AM

I didn't expect Hairspray to turn out as good as it was, not fabulous but I didn't begrudge spending money on it like some other flops I've seen in the past. I was half expecting it to turn out like Grease 2 but it is a completely different kind of a story and more entertaining.

2001 - a Space Odyssey apparently is better seen in a different frame of mind so I've heard.

Subject: RE: Worst Movie ever
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Mar 11 - 01:20 PM

If you mean "stoned"...I didn't see it that way. I never go to movies stoned. ;-) I knew people in the early 70s who never went anywhere NOT stoned! (and whose entire vocabulary and sense of reality revolved around various varieties of grass, hash, and related substances) I think the main purpose of their existence (if indeed it had any purpose) was to provide cheap entertainment for the Toronto police force... ;-)