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BS: The End.......Or a new Beginning?
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Subject: BS: The End.......Or a new Beginning? From: wilbyhillbilly Date: 03 Aug 10 - 02:19 AM Beth and I started out our "new" life together here in our (rented) dream cottage, with our horses on the field next to it stable across the road, lovely views all round 15 years ago. I found Mudcat! Then nine years ago along came Danny so things changed a bit, well quite a bit really, but everything has been good, too good I suppose. Although the cottage was wet, damp, mouldy walls, windows about to fall out we love it here and paid a moderate rent as I helped the landlady by trying to keep it standing and habitable, which was fair enough. 15 years and never a day late with the rent! Then one week ago came the eviction notice from an agent we have never dealt with before, telling us that the landlady wanted the cottage for a member of her family, which we knew then and have since had confirmed, is a load of crap. It turns out that the daughter has taken over affairs from her mother (the landlady) and wants to gut the place, refurbish and charge three times the rent. This is fair enough, and we thought maybe one day it might happen, but after fifteen years and becoming good friends of the family you'd think they could have least told the truth. Trouble is now, I am 70 next Monday on a pension, Danny is 9 in three weeks, we have to uproot him from everything, he's lost his car he drives round the field, his school mates when we move, his piano teacher he loves, his tenor horn he plays in the school band, it's gonna be harder for him than any of us. We now have to look for a place at market rent level which is way beyond our means so the future is looking bleak, however, after the shock and getting down to reality, I said to Danny that we can do whatever we want and live wherever we want to now, so where would he like to move to. He straight away came back and said America!!!! (he has been greatly influenced by his John Deere American Farmer Game, and American Long Haul Trucking Game)the power of computers. His next choice was Yorkshire, so we have decided to make a complete break and head for North Yorkshire where Beth has most of her family. The only good thing at the moment is that we will stay with her sister temporarily who lives in Whitby, and we move in there on Saturday 21st August while we search for somewhere. Sorry I have ranted on a bit, but it's only a fraction of what's going round in my head at the moment, anyway, I suppse all things happen for a reason! whb |
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Subject: RE: BS: The End.......Or a new Beginning? From: Crow Sister (off with the fairies) Date: 03 Aug 10 - 02:24 AM Don't agree to anything and don't go anywhere until you are *certain* you have no legal right to stay. The new Landlady might have lied to you because she realises something you don't. What kind of tenancy do you have? 15 yrs. in the same place is a long time. I'd get some advice. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The End.......Or a new Beginning? From: wilbyhillbilly Date: 03 Aug 10 - 02:48 AM Thanks Crow Sister but we went straight away for advice (the initial shock reaction) and everthing is entirely correct and legal. Now we realise it has got to happen we are gradually coming round to the idea that it might not be as bad as we first thought, after all, there's no choice really. whb |
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Subject: RE: BS: The End.......Or a new Beginning? From: Gurney Date: 03 Aug 10 - 03:59 AM A dry house might be good for your health. The are some fungi which are health hazards, and they do live in damp houses. Nowt wrong wi' Yorkshire, nor Tykes. I married one. Chris, looking on the bright side. Easy for me, eh! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The End.......Or a new Beginning? From: Sandra in Sydney Date: 03 Aug 10 - 04:12 AM your glass sounds like it's a bit more than half full! wishing all of you all the best sandra |
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Subject: RE: BS: The End.......Or a new Beginning? From: Lizzie Cornish 1 Date: 03 Aug 10 - 04:12 AM Once you've found somewhere to rent, which is the trickiest part, all else will settle down... Danny's friends will, I'm sure, love to come and stay for weekends, piano teachers can be kept in touch with via emails and Skype, and new piano teachers will about up there, no doubt... Danny will be lucky enough to grow up with York, one of the most beautiful cities in the land right on his doorstep. He'll be able to go to York Minster to hear the Christmas Carols..and discover all about the Vikings in the incredible Jorvick centre....He'll be awash with history on his trips into the City... If he fancies some space, there's the Yorkshire Moors to explore and run free on...and of course, the coast, as you know only too well...to splash around in, gain spiritual awareness from....AND you're right on top of Whitby Festival and Otley too! Danny is going to *love* his new part of the country, Willy...and I'm sure he'll soon make new chums at school.....but always keep in mind, that if he starts to struggle in a new school, there is always home education, so that can take the worry out of 'parental guilt' a bit.. I hope that you'll all soon be happy and settled in your new home. Let us know how you get on... Love and hugs Lizzie :0) |
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Subject: RE: BS: The End.......Or a new Beginning? From: fat B****rd Date: 03 Aug 10 - 04:29 AM Good luck with everything. I sincerely trust things will work out for you and yours. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The End.......Or a new Beginning? From: wilbyhillbilly Date: 03 Aug 10 - 11:10 AM Thanks chaps, Lizzie you brought tears to my eyes, I know you are right, its just so nice to hear from wonderful people who care. What a family the 'cat is. whb |
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Subject: RE: BS: The End.......Or a new Beginning? From: Richard Bridge Date: 03 Aug 10 - 11:21 AM If your tenancy predated 1996 then for it to be an assured shorthold tenancy as distinct from an assured tenancy I think there were some very tricky provisions about the notice you had to be given before signing up to the tenancy and it may be that you have more rights than you think. If it's not a shorthold, may be wrong but I think that there are different forms of notice required for use by a member of family on the one hand and redevelopment on the other, and if the wrong one has been used it is not effective. From whom did you take legal advice? |
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Subject: RE: BS: The End.......Or a new Beginning? From: Jack the Sailor Date: 03 Aug 10 - 01:18 PM You may have more rights than you realize, but even if you win such a fight with a landlord, in the long run you are probably better off moving. York is one of the few places I have seen in England, I think it is as magical as Lizzie describes. Best of luck in your new abode and may it be free of mould. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The End.......Or a new Beginning? From: mauvepink Date: 03 Aug 10 - 01:29 PM WHB... so sorry to hear of this happening to you Four years ago good friends of mine, and whom I rented a flat from eventually, decided that they would sell the flat out from under me. Years of friendship fell away in minutes and they became quite horrid. The local council advised me of my rights, thankfully, and eventually I managed to get a rented flat from them just before I was evicted. It seems some landlords are quite unscrupulous and they tried all sorts until the council warned them of my rights. I was lucky. It was a bad time for me but I am housed far better now than I was then and it has been for the better in my life. I did not feel like then as it was happening. I hope your forced moved works out to your good too :-) Karma is never far away. My 'friend', whose flat I had rented, told me how desperately she needed the money as her son had run up terrible debts. It was all lies I later found out. Her girlfriend, in fact, had persuaded her to sell... and within weeks of getting the money for the flat, ran off clearing all the bank accounts out! The last time I saw my former friend she started to tell me how bad her life had been and that she had no option than to do with me what she did. Had she have been honest with me at the time I would have understood. As it happens I found it hard to feel sorry for her. She ended up with far less than I had and have. All I have for her now is pity. I truly hope things pick up for you and work out well. Best wishes mp |
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Subject: RE: BS: The End.......Or a new Beginning? From: GUEST,mg Date: 03 Aug 10 - 02:16 PM It sounds like a good move all in all to be closer to family etc. I would advertise your need for lodging once you get there, especially if you can live in a small cottage, fix it up etc. There are many dwellings that are not rented out because landlords fear certain tenants and the problems they bring..drugs etc. If you can advertise yourself as a stable, non-violent, non-drug or alcohol abusing family, stuff might just appear to you. If you belong to a church, all the better. mg |
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Subject: RE: BS: The End.......Or a new Beginning? From: olddude Date: 03 Aug 10 - 02:21 PM My dear friend, I am so sorry to hear this. Sometimes it seems that the very best people I know are always the ones that get stepped on. If there is anything I can do to help you have my email and PM ... Dan |
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Subject: RE: BS: The End.......Or a new Beginning? From: katlaughing Date: 03 Aug 10 - 03:37 PM Sometimes the Universe moves us along, willingly or no, but it almost always turns out for the betterment or, even highest good. Kids are resilient and if he has special interests in which he can interact with other kids, then he'll be able to find new friends who are of like mind, too. We uprooted my kids, who'd only ever lived in Wyoming and Colorado, when they were 13, 10, and 6. We took them clear across country to New England, site unseen (except for my Rog who'd grown up there.) They have all told me several times they are so grateful we did as they were able to see so much else, culturally and country-wise than they would have if we'd stayed in WY. I hope this is as positive for you and your family. You deserve it, esp. a great place to live. Hope your horses get to go, too! Come vent/rant/cry/rejoice whenever you need. We're good at helping each other through these things.:-) luvyakat |
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Subject: RE: BS: The End.......Or a new Beginning? From: Crow Sister (off with the fairies) Date: 03 Aug 10 - 03:50 PM "Sometimes the Universe moves us along, willingly or no," I'm with Richard, do be sure you have had correct advice before quitting the property. I know someone who'd been living in an old cottage for years. When the landlord died the daughter then tried to get her to vacate the property on the exact same ruse. The new landlady basically wanted to tart up the property so she could substantially up the rent. My friend refused to leave, and is happily living there still.. She did have a secure tenancy though and she realised the landlady was trying to scam her (she'd pulled the same story on another long term but more naive tenant, and successfully removed them), so there was little the new landlady could do about it but huff and puff. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The End.......Or a new Beginning? From: wilbyhillbilly Date: 03 Aug 10 - 04:21 PM Richard, our tenancy started 1997 and we got advice from a solicitor who deals mainly in property. Our initial reaction was to dig our heels in etc, but in the end it's not really worth the aggro, and we have Danny to think about, actually he is quite looking forward to going to Yorkshire now and I think we are beginning to get used to the idea and hope it will somehow be a change for the better. We would not like to be around here any longer now as the atmosphere has soured and everything looks different. Kat, unfortunately the horses had to go, not only that but our beloved sheepdog Bob passed away last week so at the moment it feels like punishment for something, although Bob was 15yrs old and died whilst sleeping which was a blessing. Anyway, onward and upward, don't let the buggers get you down, I tell myself. Thanks Dan for your kind words. whb |
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Subject: RE: BS: The End.......Or a new Beginning? From: gnomad Date: 03 Aug 10 - 05:04 PM Don't know how long you intend staying in Whitby (assuming that it isn't your long-term destination) but I hope you will join a few of the resident 'catters at one or more of the local sessions &/or singarounds, even if it is only for a week or two. There are several of us, and a variety of events to try. Hope you find somewhere to rent that suits your wishes. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The End.......Or a new Beginning? From: GUEST,erbert Date: 03 Aug 10 - 09:19 PM hold on.. if i read this right.. ?? you're 70 ..your mrs was of child bearing age only 9 years ago, and you've got a healthy fit young son.. man, you are a champion !!!! why worry as long as you find some kind of dry roof over your families head. life's to short to waste on lost causes fighting against unscrupulous profiteering land owners and their money greedy bastard lawyers.. peace, good health and best wishes... |
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Subject: RE: BS: The End.......Or a new Beginning? From: Bobert Date: 03 Aug 10 - 09:34 PM Now ya' don't know no hillbilly than a Blue Ridge hillbilly and that's me and I'll tell ya' what... Tell the landlady (and the duaghter) that ol' Bobert and 'bout 15 of his beer drenkin' buddies is loadin' up the short bus and we're headin' yer way to have us a little talk (wink, wink) with the both of them ol' gals, ya hear??? BTW, can I get a zip code for the GPS??? B;~) |
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Subject: RE: BS: The End.......Or a new Beginning? From: katlaughing Date: 03 Aug 10 - 09:54 PM wbh, my condolences on the passing of your old dog and for the horses having to go. That was the hardest thing for us...selling the horse, ducks, geese, and ewe, as well as giving away one dog when we moved East. Good though, your son is looking forward to the "adventure" and I think you are right about it being too aggravating to try to fight it out. From what I've read of Yorkshire around here, you will be surrounded by Mudcatters!:-) Much peace and love, kat |
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Subject: RE: BS: The End.......Or a new Beginning? From: mousethief Date: 04 Aug 10 - 12:01 AM Wilby, I'm sorry to hear of the shake-up, but it sounds like you will land on your feet. Keep us apprised! Best wishes and good thoughts from Seattle. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The End.......Or a new Beginning? From: wilbyhillbilly Date: 04 Aug 10 - 12:42 AM It's sounding better all the time, looks like we are going to be in the heart of 'catting country cos we're hoping to settle in Castleton or Commondale, with Beth's brothers and sisters in Whitby, Staithes,and Commondale. We are used to Whitby and Staithes, over the years we've stayed there a lot on short breaks out of season, in fact Staithes was Danny's favourite holiday destination when he was a toddler. Bobert, thanks, word must have got out, 'cos we just got a brilliant reference off the old landlady. We really haven't got anything against her, and I honestly think if it was up to her we would have still been here, it's the daughter that has taken over and all she is out for is money, m,oney, money, sad really. We can feel the vibes, (((((((0))))))) Thank you all |
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Subject: RE: BS: The End.......Or a new Beginning? From: ClaireBear Date: 04 Aug 10 - 01:06 PM Ah, Wilby, As you will recall, my husband at 75 and I at 55 are another set of elderly parents of a 10-year-old. Thus I am in a good position to understand your plight. And yet, think of the opportunity to free yourself of years of extraneous acquisitions (as one inevitably does when relocating to a distant place) and start fresh! I think you are in for a great adventure, and how wonderful that you asked Danny where he wanted to live instead of imposing a decision on him. Well done! Claire |
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Subject: RE: BS: The End.......Or a new Beginning? From: SINSULL Date: 04 Aug 10 - 02:11 PM It's a new beginning.Grab it and look ahead to a new adventure. Good luck. Mary |
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Subject: RE: BS: The End.......Or a new Beginning? From: wilbyhillbilly Date: 04 Aug 10 - 05:42 PM Thanks Mary, and Claire, we're starting to look forward to it now, but oh lord, how did we manage to accumulate sooo much stuff.:-) |
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Subject: RE: BS: The End.......Or a new Beginning? From: JohnInKansas Date: 04 Aug 10 - 07:17 PM The situation described is distrubingly similar to ours, but with different causes and effects. After 12 years in our former home, we found ourselves unable to afford necessary maintenance, and due to "market conditions" had been unable (trying for 6 years) to even find anyone to take a listing to sell out. Current market value was significantly less than our mortgages, and I had estimates for necessary repairs that exceeded anything we could manage. A conversation with a friendly neighbor (on the other side of the fence that needed a $6,000 complete replacement) resulted in a contact from a Realtor willing to take a listing (our neighbor apparently had "connections" we didn't), a crew of "volunteer" neighbors to help "pretty up" the yard, and a "friend of them all" with an offer to buy us out. (I'm suspicious that the volunteers may have offered to kick in some help with the repairs, to get rid of us in order to protect neighborhood property values.) After "persuasion bordering on extortion" the bank holding our second mortgage agreed to carry the balance as an "unsecured line of credit" and the sale covered the first mortgage (barely). We made a hasty evacuation, putting everything from our former 5,000-sq-ft-with-large-yard home in storage, and spent the next three months in our (rather small) camper, with three cats, pretending that we were waiting in lineup for our space at the annual big festival while we looked for a new home. (Camping is much cheaper here than renting, if you're equipped for it; but most of us can take just so much of it.) Since the new place is a bare 1,000 sq ft, it may be years before we even discover what all the stuff is that is still in boxes, and I've now transitioned from worrying about maintenance to thinking about building - to make ways to get things put away (or thrown away); but the change has been a rewarding relief from old worries, and - as I'm sure you'll find - the "new life" is a new opportunity to "get on with it," with as many rewards as you're able to discover along the way. As we're about the same age, I can offer some moving advice: As I've declined in "athletic ability," I've accumulated a number of "devices" to relieve me of lifting heavy things. Moving has now revealed to me that I can no longer lift most of the devices intended to avoid lifting things, so I can now get by with "I ain't gonna do that" much more easily. Be careful, and treat yourself and yours the best you can. John |
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Subject: RE: BS: The End.......Or a new Beginning? From: Ed T Date: 04 Aug 10 - 07:33 PM We go through different phases of our lives. Where possible, if we are healthy, physically and mentally, and have basic food and shelter (even though it is not what we once had) one can always look at change as an opportunity for a new beginning....though, at times, it may be a real challenge to do so. It is surprising how we get attached to things, and lifestyles, without evaluating what is really important to us in life. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The End.......Or a new Beginning? From: wilbyhillbilly Date: 05 Aug 10 - 01:49 AM Thanks John, although it doesn't seem right, there's a kind of comfort in knowing that others have travelled the same path before us and it is not the end. I too have got to the stage where once I used to lift a sack in each hand I now need help to lift one :-) I'm sure we have many new discoveries waiting and maybe many new friends to make, we shall see...... Ed, it,s very true that we get attached to material things, which after all, are just that. This has helped to reiterate that the most important thing is that we have each other, nothing else matters really. whb |
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Subject: RE: BS: The End.......Or a new Beginning? From: My guru always said Date: 05 Aug 10 - 03:54 AM WHB, it really will be a new beginning and it sounds like you're moving into a nest of My family moved when I was 9, it shook me up, but taught me lots of stuff too. Danny will be fine with this new adventure & parents like you & Beth. It's rotten having to leave (sorry too for the horses & your dog passsing) but you have some fabulous memories and as long as you keep your family safe around you, you can start building up lots more good memories! Good luck! Hil |
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Subject: RE: BS: The End.......Or a new Beginning? From: wilbyhillbilly Date: 05 Aug 10 - 06:22 AM Thanks Hil, kind words and very true. John |
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Subject: RE: BS: The End.......Or a new Beginning? From: wilbyhillbilly Date: 06 Aug 10 - 02:00 AM We are taking the first load up to Yorkshire today (hired a van) and to meet a lady who is getting a cottage ready to rent, right in the village that Danny wants to live in, so we've got our fingers crossed that she will consider us for it. Might just have time to look at somewhere, but it's just a flying visit to "dump" some of our furniture and get back to prepare for the final exit on 21st August. Fingers crossed...... whb |
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Subject: RE: BS: The End.......Or a new Beginning? From: GUEST,CAP Date: 06 Aug 10 - 04:17 AM Goodluck with the move. Someone once said to me when I was on a downer "Just remember something changes every day wether it be small & barely noticable or large & life changing" For you this is a big life changing event but look forward to new surroundings & new friends, look back at fond memories. Once settled you will love Yorkshire I am sure, I have always found the people very friendly & as for the music well there is so much going on you won't have time to dwell on the past. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The End.......Or a new Beginning? From: kendall Date: 06 Aug 10 - 07:57 AM Many people would like to live in America, but they can't afford the barbaric health care system we have. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The End.......Or a new Beginning? From: jacqui.c Date: 06 Aug 10 - 09:29 AM Good luck WH - I hope that things go well for you. I can say, from experience, that the events that seem so catastrophic at the time can turn out to be blessings a little way along the line. Children ARE resilient and I'm sure that Danny will settle into a new life with amazing alacrity. In a way, it may have been a blessing that Bob died peacefully when he did - I think that the move may have been much more of a problem for an old dog. Good thoughts coming from Maine - my home since moving from the UK nearly six years ago - and I do remember the problem of paring down belongings to must haves, rather than wants! Trust me, they soon build up again! |
