Animal cruelty

Subject: Animal cruelty(BS)
From: Roger the zimmer
Date: 19 Aug 99 - 06:40 AM

Where are the ASPCA? We read on these threads of possum blowing, salmon whacking, cow punching, cat muddying and I understand many Americans also spank monkeys. Is nothing being done to stamp out this cruelty?

Subject: RE: Animal cruelty
From: Allan C.
Date: 19 Aug 99 - 07:03 AM

Yeah, and dead horse beating.

Subject: RE: Animal cruelty
From: Wally Macnow
Date: 19 Aug 99 - 08:16 AM

Hey Roger,

It's "where is the ASPCA?". It's in New York City. That's the only ASPCA. All the others are SPCAs. "You could look it up", as Casey Stengel used to say.

Subject: RE: Animal cruelty
From: Roger the zimmer
Date: 19 Aug 99 - 09:09 AM

Thanks, Wally, I'll ring them now, seems like I'll have to add bug-squishing to the list, get all these cruel 'catters carted away to jail!

Subject: RE: Animal cruelty
From: JedMarum
Date: 19 Aug 99 - 10:58 AM

sure Roger, and I expect you'll want to make them jailbirds too!

Subject: RE: Animal cruelty
From: JedMarum
Date: 19 Aug 99 - 11:02 AM

.. and by the way Roger, you neglected chicken choking.

Subject: RE: Animal cruelty
From: Margo
Date: 19 Aug 99 - 11:54 AM

We did a song at song circle about killing the cat, and yes, it was the RSPCA mentioned there. My ultimate cruelty to animals - I eat them!

Margarita

Subject: RE: Animal cruelty
From: Wally Macnow
Date: 19 Aug 99 - 01:27 PM

Ah yes, killing the cat - i.e., "Body in the Bag" As in
Off I went with the body in the bag
The body in the bag, ta-ra-ra

Subject: RE: Animal cruelty
From: joeler
Date: 19 Aug 99 - 02:44 PM

Roger, Roger,

People here are members of the ASPWA. (American Society for the Preservation of Wacking Animals.)

Subject: RE: Animal cruelty
From: katlaughing
Date: 19 Aug 99 - 02:53 PM

MY cat, Trystan, (see my headgear in bbc's pictures) thinks this thread constitutes cruelty to animals and is threatening to pull the plug if I keep subjecting him to it! Uh-oh....look OUT! He's got the PETA people on the line!

katwhotakeshercatseriously!

Subject: RE: Animal cruelty
From: Jeri
Date: 19 Aug 99 - 03:02 PM

I think the real reason there is no chat room right now is that the ASPCA leaned on Max. I suspect they're forcing him to put a feature in the new chat room that will automatically report cases of fish abuse.

Trust no one...

Subject: Lyr Add: ERIC THE HALF A BEE (Monty Python)
From: Tiger
Date: 19 Aug 99 - 04:47 PM

Consider the case of poor Eric, bisected accidentally. You Python fans know it by heart, so I haven't put in all the cues.

Eric, the Half a Bee - Monty Python

SPOKEN
Take it away, Eric, the orchestra leader!
A-one, two, a-one, two, three, four.

Half a bee, philosophically,
Must, ipso facto, half not be.
But half the bee has got to be,
Vis-à-vis its entity. -D'you see?

But can a bee be said to be
Or not to be an entire bee,
When half the bee is not a bee,
Due to some ancient injury? - Singing!...

SUNG
La-di-di, one two three,
Eric, the half a bee.
A B C D E F G,
Eric, the half a bee.

Is this wretched demi-bee,
Half asleep upon my knee,
Some freak from a menagerie?

No! It's Eric, the half a bee.

Fiddle di dum, fiddle di dee,
Eric, the half a bee.
Ho ho ho, tee hee hee,
Eric, the half a bee.

I love this hive employ-ee-ee,
Bisected accidentally,
One summer afternoon by me,
I love him carnally.

He loves him carnally...

Semi-carnally. The End.

Cyril Connolly?
No, semi-carnally.
Oh.

Cyril Connolly.