Subject: RE: 1st explicit mention of farts in folk ? From: JHW Date: 21 Aug 10 - 03:31 PM Thanks Dave H. Here then are the lyrics as sung by John Greaves on the Yorkshire Garland site. |
Subject: RE: 1st explicit mention of farts in folk ? From: Dave Hanson Date: 21 Aug 10 - 06:07 AM Sedgefield Fair,it's on the Watersons album ' Green Fields ' Dave H |
Subject: RE: 1st explicit mention of farts in folk ? From: JHW Date: 20 Aug 10 - 04:36 PM John Greaves sings a song I have in a book but can't pin down which. At every end she gave a great fart Begocks says I we'll plough till dark ....fire up Mary... ...? Fair |
Subject: RE: 1st explicit mention of farts in folk ? From: GUEST, Sminky Date: 20 Aug 10 - 09:29 AM Gentlest Blast of ill Concoction, Reverse of high-ascending Belch; The stink abhorred by Scotchmen, Beloved and practised by the Welch. Softest note of inward Griping, Sir Reverence's finest part; So fine it needs no Pains of wiping, Except it be a Brewer's Fart. Swiftest Ease of Cholick Pains, Vapour from a secret Stench, That's rattled by the unbred Swains, But whispered by the bashful Wench. Shapeless Fart, we ne'r can shew thee, But in that noble Female Sport, In which by burning Blue we know thee, Th' Amusement of the Maids at Court. |
Subject: RE: 1st explicit mention of farts in folk ? From: GUEST,The Shambles Date: 16 Aug 10 - 11:47 AM Of course, the answer is Blowing In The Wind. |
Subject: RE: 1st explicit mention of farts in folk ? From: folkypaul Date: 16 Aug 10 - 07:40 AM Thanks cat, thats the one. PaulO |
Subject: RE: 1st explicit mention of farts in folk ? From: CupOfTea Date: 16 Aug 10 - 12:09 AM On the NEW end of the spectrum, I've heard it live a few times, but the latest album by the Smokin Fez Monkys (in their Natural Habitat) has as a hidden track at the end, their parody "It's fun to Fart in Texas." (rather than deep in the heart of...) |
Subject: RE: 1st explicit mention of farts in folk ? From: JohnB Date: 15 Aug 10 - 11:49 PM Thanks LTS, that is the one, I think I have it by the Baltimore Consort, but everything is packed away still(as usual) one small wall and lots of shelves to build first, when I have finished in the kitchen that is. JohnB |
Subject: RE: 1st explicit mention of farts in folk ? From: Acorn4 Date: 15 Aug 10 - 07:47 PM This may well be apocryphal, but a story about Queen Victoria. Apparently when a royal personage let rip, it was customary for a courtier to accept the blame. On one occasion Victoria let off a rather loud fart. Turning to one of her footmen she said:- "Will you stop that, Jenkins!" Jenkins was said to have replied:- "Certainly, ma'am, which way did it go?" |
Subject: RE: 1st explicit mention of farts in folk ? From: TheSnail Date: 15 Aug 10 - 07:03 PM "How dare you fart before my wife?" "I'm sorry, I didn't realise it was her turn." |
Subject: RE: 1st explicit mention of farts in folk ? From: Tug the Cox Date: 15 Aug 10 - 06:55 PM Aubrey's brief lives, a nobleman farted as he bowed on being presented to Elizabth I. he rusticated himself for years to hide his shame. Some years later he returned to court, good queen Bess reassured him...'we hath forgot the fart' |
Subject: RE: 1st explicit mention of farts in folk ? From: John MacKenzie Date: 15 Aug 10 - 06:32 PM Oh dear, the dreaded, fart and follow throgh. Nasty |
Subject: RE: 1st explicit mention of farts in folk ? From: Leadfingers Date: 15 Aug 10 - 06:24 PM I dont have it , but there was a cassette from Australia with an EXCELLENT monologue of a Farting Contest , where the Budding Champion is 'sent off' for having a Solid Fart ! |
Subject: RE: 1st explicit mention of farts in folk ? From: GUEST,LTS on the sofa Date: 15 Aug 10 - 06:23 PM The farting competition is 'My Lady and her Mayde' - a tudor song about a lady who has a farting competition with her maid, by blowing candles out and lighting them again. 'with the first fart she blew them out, with the next she gave them light!' Capriole (aka Steel Bunny) with the sadly missed Hazel Absalom did a great version of it on their cassette 'Lewdly sing cucku'. LTS |
Subject: RE: 1st explicit mention of farts in folk ? From: Cats Date: 15 Aug 10 - 05:24 PM folkypaul this is what you were after Lyrics to I've Farted (Ivor Biggun, 1978) (Spoken intro) My mother had the vicar and the vicar's wife to tea They cleared the room, they blamed it on the dog But it was me. (Chorus) I've farted, I've farted, I've made a trouser cough, I've whistled in my Y-fronts, I've just peeled one off. I've blown my bowel bugle (Alt: I've blown my bloody brains out), I've been eating peas, I've broken wind, I've dropped my guts, Open the window please I've been eating cabbages, prunes and pears and beans Drinking Dandelion & Burdock, and you know what that means Polluting the environment, my friends leave me alone The front of me sings tenor and the rest sings baritone (Repeat Chorus) (Interlude) Bubbles in the bath! (echo: Bubbles in the bath!) Real rip snorters! (echo: Real rip snorters!) Up on one cheek and hope it don't make a noise. Window rattlers! (echo: Window rattlers!) Cushion creepers! (echo: Cushion creepers!) Don't shake your leg and keep it in your courdroys. A gentleman tells before it smells, he waves his jacket 'til it's gone But I'm the kind of sneaky bugger, who lets off and doesn't let on I let them go in lifts, in queues, in phone-boxes and trains And when they stink, the people blink and blame it on the drains. (Repeat Chorus) (Spoken ending) I say, have you farted? Of course I have - d'you think I always smell like this? |
Subject: RE: 1st explicit mention of farts in folk ? From: John MacKenzie Date: 15 Aug 10 - 03:05 PM Oh I forgot. Someone said Kendall is an old fart, but I don't believe it ☺☻☺☻☺☻ |
Subject: RE: 1st explicit mention of farts in folk ? From: John MacKenzie Date: 15 Aug 10 - 03:04 PM Where e'er ye be let yer wind gand free, In kirk or chapel, let the jolly thing rattle. Attr Robert Burns ****************************************************** TAE A FERT This poem is appropriate for reading to an audience shortly after they have eaten the haggis - you will need an audience with a sense of humour! Oh what a sleekit horrible beastie Lurks in yer belly efter the feastie Just as ye sit doon among yer kin There sterts to stir an enormous wind. The neeps and tatties and mushy peas Stert workin like a gentle breeze But soon the puddin wi the sauncie face Will have ye blawin' all ower the place. Nae matter whit the hell ye dae A'bodys gonnae have tae pay Even if ye try to stifle, It's like a bullet oot a rifle. Hawd yer bum tight tae the chair Tae try and stop the leakin air Shift yersel frae cheek tae cheek Prae tae God it doesnae reek. But aw yer efforts go assunder Oot it comes like a clap a thunder Ricochets aroon the room Michty me, a sonic boom! God almighty it fairly reeks; Hope I huvnae shit ma breeks Tae the bog I better scurry Aw whit the hell, its no ma worry. A'body roon aboot me chokin, Wan or two are nearly bokin I'll feel better for a while Cannae help but raise a smile. Wis him! I shout with accusin glower, Alas too late, he's just keeled ower Ye dirty bugger they shout and stare I dinnae feel welcome any mair. Where ere ye go let yer wind gan free Sounds like just the job fur me Whit a fuss at Rabbie's perty Ower the sake o won wee ferty. Anon ************************************************************ Wha ferted? Wee Annie Dae it again hen Ah cannae. Wha ferted? Wee Willie Dae it again son Pharrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrp God bless yer wee bum! Alex Campbell |
Subject: RE: 1st explicit mention of farts in folk ? From: VirginiaTam Date: 15 Aug 10 - 01:44 PM Dante Alighieri c.1265 – September 14 1321 Geoffrey Chaucer c. 1343 – 25 October 1400 |
Subject: RE: 1st explicit mention of farts in folk ? From: Charley Noble Date: 15 Aug 10 - 01:12 PM Richard Dyer-Bennet recorded Mark Twain's "1601" discourse on the fart in Queen Elizabeth's court back in the late 1950's. It's a monologue, however, rather than a song. Does that count? Cheerily, Charley Noble |
Subject: RE: 1st explicit mention of farts in folk ? From: JohnB Date: 15 Aug 10 - 12:42 PM Chaucer would be the earlist I think. There was a later song, which I cant remember properly. I think it is Elizabethan and is in the form of a farting contest, it talks about farting a candle out, then farting it in again. Also I think farting is mentioned in Shakespeares Macbeth in the porter scene (best ever performance by Spike Milligan) |
Subject: RE: 1st explicit mention of farts in folk ? From: Herga Kitty Date: 15 Aug 10 - 12:42 PM Not trad, but of course Les Barker wrote "Breaking wind suddenly" and Alan Franks has written a song about Le Petomaine. Kitty |
Subject: RE: 1st explicit mention of farts in folk ? From: GUEST,Peter Laban Date: 15 Aug 10 - 11:00 AM Chaucer yes, Don't forget the Summoner's tale: "A!" thoghte this frere, "That shal go with me!" And doun his hand he launcheth to the clifte, In hope for to fynde there a yifte. And whan this sike man felte this frere Aboute his tuwel grope there and heere, Amydde his hand he leet the frere a fart, Ther nys no capul, drawynge in a cart, That myghte have lete a fart of swich a soun. The frere up stirte as dooth a wood leoun, - "A! false cherl," quod he, "for Goddes bones! This hastow for despit doon for the nones. Thou shalt abye this fart, if that I may!" "Ah," thought the friar, "this shall go with me!" And down he thrust his hand right to the cleft, In hope that he should find there some good gift. And when the sick man felt the friar here Groping about his hole and all his rear, Into his hand he let the friar a fart. There is no stallion drawing loaded cart That might have let a fart of such a sound. The friar leaped up as with wild lion's bound: "Ah, treacherous churl," he cried, "by God's own bones, I'll see that he who scorns me thus atones; You'll suffer for this fart- I'll find a way!" Don't forget Mozart either. Besides, to the people I'm tied Who carry their muck inside And let it out if they are able, Both before and after the table. At night of farts there is no lack, Which let off, forsooth, with a powerful crack. The king of farts came yesterday Whose farts smelt sweeter than the may. His voice, however, was no treat And he himself was in a heat. Well, now we've been over a week away And we've been shitting everyday. |
Subject: RE: 1st explicit mention of farts in folk ? From: VirginiaTam Date: 15 Aug 10 - 10:34 AM aawwww I was beaten to A Mighty Wind. "ed elli avea del cul fatto trombetta" "And he had made a trumpet of his ass." [Canto XXI] Dante - The Divine Comedy |
Subject: RE: 1st explicit mention of farts in folk ? From: Taconicus Date: 15 Aug 10 - 10:33 AM And who can forget... Beans, beans, beans, they're good for the heart. |
Subject: RE: 1st explicit mention of farts in folk ? From: Taconicus Date: 15 Aug 10 - 10:25 AM My goodness, I thought of Chaucer too! And wasn't it Shakespeare who wrote, Hark! What wind from nether lips doth break!Or am I not rembering correctly? ;-) |
Subject: RE: 1st explicit mention of farts in folk ? From: GUEST,Peter Laban Date: 15 Aug 10 - 10:18 AM Nobody mentioned MacArthur yet! The Day McArthur Farted. Back in Donga country there's a tale the old folks tell Of a man whose name is famous in the town of Bungadell. And if ya like, I'll tell you all about this little town. It's a dry and dusty place, until the rain comes down. Back in 1927, it hadn't rained for weeks. There was bull-dust in the billabongs and dead sheep in the creeks. But the hero of our story was soon to help them out On the day McArthur farted, and saved the town from drought. Now, no one knew too much about this joker from the scrub We'd heard some yarns about him from the Drovers in the pub Some said he came from Bunker's Run and some from Beula's Park But the one thing that they all agreed - he sure knew how to fart. Now Bungadell was dry and hard like a three week stale old crust The sheep were drinking whisky but were only pissing dust We had a dam upside the hill, a mile out of town That should have filled the water tanks, but not a drop come down. So we sent a deputation there to see what could be wrong And found we had a problem that we hadn't counted on Old Bert's dead horse was blocking off the exit to the dam You think that we could shift it? Na, the bloody thing was jammed. Fifty blokes with crowbars struggled fifty days and nights But couldn't shift the bastard, it was stuck there good and tight The dam was full of water but we couldn't get it out 'Til the day McArthur farted and saved the town from drought. We blasted it with dynamite and couldn't get it loose And even Murphy's bullock team wasn't any use. "There's only one last chance!" said Clancy's brother Blue "We'll have to get McArthur -- see what he can do!" Well, the cry went up "McArthur!! He's the one who knows the art He'll send that dead horse flying with a well-constructed fart!" The people waited eagerly for the day to come about The day McArthur farted and saved the town from drought. Well, at last McArthur came and the people gathered 'round To see the man whose fart was gonna send the waters down He came on two big horses, with half his bum on each A bum so wide a man could drive a tram between his cheeks. Now, McArthur was a quiet man, but thorough, through and through He said "I'll need some food and drinks, so see what you can do" So we made the preparations, we made a mighty spread Fifty tons of onions, and piles of prunes and bread. Fifty tons of blue veined cheese and fifty kegs of stout The day McArthur farted and saved the town from drought He sat back with a knife and fork and really knocked it back He polished off those kegs of stout in twenty seconds flat. McArthur got up slowly, then he turned his bum around And the people drove for shelter as they heard a dreadful sound A roaring like a lion, and a chill ran through their hearts As McArthur's body trembled and let off some mighty farts! He farted and he farted till the earth began to shake The ills began to tremble and the dams began to break And still McArthur farted till he made the thunder crack The winds, they howled, the lightning flared, the skies were turning black They heard it up in China, where the up-side-downers dwell They heard it up in Heaven and they heard it down in hell I hardly need to tell ya, it was really on the snout On the day McArthur farted and saved the town from drought. Well that's how McArthur saved the day back there in Bungadell And still his memory lingers on (and so too does the smell) Even across in Adelaide, they've heard about his art And every other year they hold a Festival of Farts!! |
Subject: RE: 1st explicit mention of farts in folk ? From: folkypaul Date: 15 Aug 10 - 09:48 AM Geordie Keith up in Teesside used to sing a song which start "I farted, I farted I dropped a trouser cough, I wistled in my Y fronts, I just let one off" I don't know the rest of it though. PaulO |
Subject: RE: 1st explicit mention of farts in folk ? From: TheSnail Date: 15 Aug 10 - 09:40 AM The First Mate's name was Carter. By God he was a farter. When the wind didn't blow And the ship wouldn't go, We got Carter the farter to start 'er. From THE GOOD SHIP VENUS |
Subject: RE: 1st explicit mention of farts in folk ? From: Dave Hanson Date: 15 Aug 10 - 09:33 AM A fart is just a little thing, But often does it please, It warms the bed on a windy night, And suffocates the fleas. anon Dave H |
Subject: RE: 1st explicit mention of farts in folk ? From: Seayaker Date: 15 Aug 10 - 09:23 AM Does Chaucer count? In the Millers Tale This Nicholas anon let flee a fart, As greet as it had been a thonder-dent, That with the strook he was almost y-blent; |
Subject: RE: 1st explicit mention of farts in folk ? From: beeliner Date: 15 Aug 10 - 09:01 AM please, what is the title of the film I an struggling to remember..??? "A Mighty Wind"? Also, in This is Spinal Tap, the group is promoting their new album, "Break Like the Wind". |
Subject: RE: 1st explicit mention of farts in folk ? From: Jim Carroll Date: 15 Aug 10 - 06:22 AM There's a wonderful song with half-a-dozen verses (from Miltown Malbay - Willie Clancy's home, as you know Peter) called The Farting Competition. Don't think I have a transcription, but will sort one out oe day (if it doesn't offend anybody on the 'Clean up their act' thread. Also a Liverpool children's rhyme from my miss-spent youth; There are many different kinds of fart - A soft one, a hard one, a bubble and a squeak, A loud one, a silent one, and one that doesn't speak. A fart is a wonderful thing, it sets you at your ease, It warms the bed in wintetime and suffocates the fleas. A fart is a telephone that runs from your belly-bone To tell you when a load is coming on. Jim Carroll |
Subject: RE: 1st explicit mention of farts in folk ? From: Valmai Goodyear Date: 15 Aug 10 - 06:19 AM Many thanks to Bill D for drawing attention to a fine piece of song-writing. Freda's right: I think the word is 'buck verteth' but it means the same. I do sing, but not in folk clubs,a song about an epic contest. I found a slightly different version in a book of rugby songs; the tune has got to be Willikins and his Dinah. It's a similar length to the Spartan effort. Valmai |
Subject: RE: 1st explicit mention of farts in folk ? From: Manitas_at_home Date: 15 Aug 10 - 05:49 AM sumer is i coming in |
Subject: RE: 1st explicit mention of farts in folk ? From: freda underhill Date: 15 Aug 10 - 05:48 AM Wasn't it around 1240 in the song "Summer is a cumin in, loudeth sing cuckoo, bullock starteth, buck now farteth, merry sing cuckoo" etc |
Subject: RE: 1st explicit mention of farts in folk ? From: TheSnail Date: 15 Aug 10 - 05:37 AM "b>Uncle Rumpo please, what is the title of the film I an struggling to remember..??? It sounds like the plot of William Golding's The Inheritors but I can't find any evidence that it was made into a film. 'Everyone loves the smell of his own farts' old proverb. |
Subject: RE: 1st explicit mention of farts in folk ? From: Paul Burke Date: 15 Aug 10 - 05:28 AM From "Sheath and Knife"- And when he has heard her give a loud cry ... A silver arrow from his bow. (He suddenly let fly). |
Subject: RE: 1st explicit mention of farts in folk ? From: Jack Campin Date: 15 Aug 10 - 05:23 AM Legendary Farts |
Subject: RE: 1st explicit mention of farts in folk ? From: GUEST,Peter Laban Date: 15 Aug 10 - 05:21 AM I recently heard about a farting contest between Willie Clancy and Margaret Barry. Does that count? |
Subject: RE: 1st explicit mention of farts in folk ? From: Will Fly Date: 15 Aug 10 - 05:00 AM There' an old tale about the Earl of Oxford who, apparently, after inadvertently letting forth a fart in front of Queen Elizabeth I, exiled himself for seven years. When he knelt before the Queen again after the seven years, she remarked, "My Lord, we had forgot the fart." |
Subject: RE: 1st explicit mention of farts in folk ? From: Dave Hanson Date: 15 Aug 10 - 04:29 AM This from Ed Crays book of Bawdy Ballads, from ' A Collection of epigrams ' 1735 If death must come, as of as breath departs, Then he must often die, who often farts, And if to die be but to lose one's breath, Then death's a fart; and so a fart for death. Dave H |
Subject: RE: 1st explicit mention of farts in folk ? From: Bill D Date: 14 Aug 10 - 10:38 PM to a well-known tune |
Subject: RE: 1st explicit mention of farts in folk ? From: GUEST,Uncle Rumpo Date: 14 Aug 10 - 10:22 PM next question.. please, what is the title of the film I an struggling to remember..??? |
Subject: 1st explicit mention of farts in folk ? From: GUEST,Uncle Rumpo Date: 14 Aug 10 - 10:14 PM of course it's me asking this question.. I remember a movie about a hairy pre-modern human where he was the last of his kind. Us lot killed his family and he was left wandering lonely in the vast wild landscape.. one morning he farted himself awake in complete surprise and then just laughed himself silly.. not much has changed since then.. I do it most mornings.. so far so good, no need to see a Dr yet.. But, if farting is such an essential part of our flesh and blood being ? when is it first recorded in a trad folk song ??? |
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