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Song Challenge! 2.0 - Fit 4

mousethief 30 Aug 10 - 01:23 PM
Georgiansilver 30 Aug 10 - 05:34 PM
Amos 30 Aug 10 - 06:33 PM
mousethief 30 Aug 10 - 10:45 PM
GUEST,Ceto 31 Aug 10 - 07:29 AM
mousethief 31 Aug 10 - 04:41 PM
Young Buchan 31 Aug 10 - 05:41 PM
mousethief 31 Aug 10 - 09:53 PM
McGrath of Harlow 01 Sep 10 - 07:01 PM
Matthew Edwards 01 Sep 10 - 07:11 PM
mousethief 01 Sep 10 - 07:38 PM
McGrath of Harlow 01 Sep 10 - 08:23 PM
Amos 01 Sep 10 - 08:40 PM
mousethief 01 Sep 10 - 08:50 PM
GUEST,Jane 02 Sep 10 - 12:26 PM
Amos 02 Sep 10 - 12:38 PM
GUEST,Jane 02 Sep 10 - 07:44 PM
Matthew Edwards 02 Sep 10 - 08:17 PM
mousethief 02 Sep 10 - 11:46 PM
MMario 03 Sep 10 - 01:14 PM
Amos 03 Sep 10 - 02:56 PM
MMario 03 Sep 10 - 05:51 PM
mousethief 03 Sep 10 - 11:51 PM
mousethief 05 Sep 10 - 12:29 AM
Matthew Edwards 05 Sep 10 - 05:57 AM
Amos 05 Sep 10 - 09:56 AM
mousethief 06 Sep 10 - 01:52 PM
mousethief 06 Sep 10 - 02:16 PM
mousethief 06 Sep 10 - 02:49 PM
Trapper 21 Oct 10 - 02:40 PM
mousethief 22 Oct 10 - 02:24 AM
Flash Company 22 Oct 10 - 10:55 AM
mousethief 22 Oct 10 - 10:56 PM
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Subject: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 4
From: mousethief
Date: 30 Aug 10 - 01:23 PM

Song Challenge! 2.0 - Fit 4

Wind up your pencils, Challengees! Other than love and marriage, what two things are more natural (kof) together than sex and politics? Here's a perky little story for you to enlarge upon:

Venezuela politician raffles breast implants for campaign

CARACAS, Venezuela — A Venezuelan politician is holding an unusual raffle to raise campaign cash. The grand prize: breast implants. For a little under $6 a ticket, donors get the chance to win the pricey operation free of charge.

Okay, Challengees! Let's see what you've got! (figuratively speaking)


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 4
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 30 Aug 10 - 05:34 PM

In Old Venezuela, the men are about
to get quite hot under their collars.
The reason I'll tell is a simple one
and involves the small cost of six dollars.
Some politician called Gustav Rojas,
Came up with a clever idea.
To raise loads of money for campaign funds,
(Probably after a beer)          (... or two)
He's selling off tickets, a raffle we hear,
Six dollars would present no tests.
The winner ( a woman naturally)
Will end up with much bigger breasts.


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 4
From: Amos
Date: 30 Aug 10 - 06:33 PM

You can be busted
Beautifully busted!
You can be busted
If you are lucky or no!
If you're a winner,
Be shaped like a sinner,
Or you can be busted
From spending your dough.


No need to worry,
Scrape up your money,
Step up and hurry
Let me be blunt!
If you're audacious
We'll make you curvaceous,
You can be generous
For being up front!

You can be busted
Beautifully busted!
You can be busted
If you are lucky or no!
If you're a winner,
Be shaped like a sinner,
Or you can be busted
From spending your dough.


Think of the motion,
The social commotion,
That you will cause
If you happen to win!
Girls, I'm not foolin'
You'll have them drooling,
Surely six dollars
Is not such a sin?

You can be busted
Beautifully busted!
You can be busted
If you are lucky or no!
If you're a winner,
Be shaped like a sinner,
Or you can be busted
From spending your dough.


You've seen the magic,
Mystique and tragic
When you flash your curves
At most anyone male.
Expand the entrancement
With our free enhancement!
For only six dollars, ladies,
How can you fail?

You can be busted
Beautifully busted!
You can be busted
If you are lucky or no!
If you're a winner,
Be shaped like a sinner,
Or you can be busted
From spending your dough.


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 4
From: mousethief
Date: 30 Aug 10 - 10:45 PM

Excellent, the thread is taking a great curve --erm, trajectory-- right from the start!

A Silver BLOB to Georgiansilver for the hopeful:

The winner ( a woman naturally)
Will end up with much bigger breasts.


and another Silver BLOB to Amos for the eloquent:

Expand the entrancement
With our free enhancement!


Way to go, Challengees! Hopefully we will see all our regulars, and some new faces too, extolling the beauties of the mammoraffle.


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 4
From: GUEST,Ceto
Date: 31 Aug 10 - 07:29 AM

Matilda, Matilda,
Matilda, she take six dollars and run Venezuela.

Well, she thought her bosom need' a fix,
which made her run for politics.

Politics is just a raffle, lads,
'bout money, sex and false air pads.

Well, Gustavo's platform surely hits:
the lucky ones shall have big t...reats!

Well, the raffle's not decid'd by luck,
Gus chooses whom he wants to favor.

Well, Matilda's ticket sure was drawn,
but then Gustavo just would yawn.

Well, the surgeons down in Caracas
they'll stuff your breast and kick your purse.

Well, Matilda was just skin and bone,
now she's still that plus silicone.

Well, Matilda I don't like no more,
she looks just like a sidewalk horoscope maker.


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 4
From: mousethief
Date: 31 Aug 10 - 04:41 PM

A delighted Silver BLOB to newcomer Ceto for this timely warning:

Well, Matilda was just skin and bone,
now she's still that plus silicone.


Welcome to the Challenge! Hope to see a lot more from you in the future!


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 4
From: Young Buchan
Date: 31 Aug 10 - 05:41 PM

Sounds fine in the short term, but in a few years the winner will be singing:

Where are my tits, my noggin',noggin' tits?
All gone for beer and tobacco.
For the nipples are worn out, the aureolae knocked about,
And the rest is hanging out for better weather.


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 4
From: mousethief
Date: 31 Aug 10 - 09:53 PM

A sardonic Silver BLOB to Young Buchan for the wry:

And the rest is hanging out for better weather


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 4
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 01 Sep 10 - 07:01 PM

I bought a ticket in the lottery,
I was sure I wouldn't win
But I thought that just this one time
My good luck might be in.
And I won, yes I won
My time had come at last.
As I walked up to receive my prize,
My heart was beating fast.

And the man in the office said,
"I know you've won the prize
But son, I think if I were you
I'd seriously think twice"
But I said "No", I said "No,
It's a special day for me
No matter what I stand to win,
It's my precious victory."

And they took me to a private room,
And laid me on a bed
And I closed my eyes and dreamed a while
And I woke, and someone said
"Now it's best you get dressed,
Maybe we've overdone the size"
And I looked there in the mirror,
I could hardly believe my eyes.

So I walk around so nonchalant,
As if I didn't care
And all the ladies giggle
While all the fellows stare
And my back's about to crack,
And this sweater's far too tight
And I don't know which is bigger,
The left one or the right.

And the moral of this story,
Don't do what I have done,
And always read the small print
When you're putting money on
As for me, here's my plea,
Won't you please avert your eyes,
From this poor bloke in the corner
Who once won the booby prize.


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 4
From: Matthew Edwards
Date: 01 Sep 10 - 07:11 PM

Brilliant stuff all round! Are the audience allowed to award BLOBS too?


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 4
From: mousethief
Date: 01 Sep 10 - 07:38 PM

Traditionally the only time the Challengees/audience award BLOBs or Golden Cow Chips is to the judges should the judges write a song for the Challenge! (since it would be unseemly for the judges to award themself a BLOB/Cow Chip). However, you could make up your own award(s) and give it/them out as you like!


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 4
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 01 Sep 10 - 08:23 PM

A tune for that one? "Ghostriders in the Sky" more or less fits.


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 4
From: Amos
Date: 01 Sep 10 - 08:40 PM

McGrath:

That's a wonderful twist, and beautifully executed too!!


A


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 4
From: mousethief
Date: 01 Sep 10 - 08:50 PM

A yippe-ki-ay Silver BLOB to McGrath for the cautionary:

Won't you please avert your eyes,
From this poor bloke in the corner
Who once won the booby prize.


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 4
From: GUEST,Jane
Date: 02 Sep 10 - 12:26 PM

Well listen up you lassies
Come listen to my ditty
All about a fair young maiden
In a spanish speaking city

She wanted not for golden locks
Nor skin as white as snow
Her sheep were of the finest flocks
As far as sheep did go

But the one thing she was lacking
Well, better make that two -
Was a buxom, bouncing bosom
For to make the laddies woo

The girl was flatter even
Than her griddle for her cake
And not a lad would look at her
No passes would they make

So she took her last six dollars
And she tried out for the prize
And if she won the lotto
No boys would look her in the eyes!


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 4
From: Amos
Date: 02 Sep 10 - 12:38 PM

LOL!!!!


A


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 4
From: GUEST,Jane
Date: 02 Sep 10 - 07:44 PM

McGrath of Harlow....! Soooooo funny!


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 4
From: Matthew Edwards
Date: 02 Sep 10 - 08:17 PM

@ mousethief - You'll have to be careful about saying what's "traditional" in Song Challenges, or we'll get all those arguefiers jumping aboard to tell us what we can and can't sing! :-)

Anyway if I can't award silver BLOBS, I reckon McGrath and Jane have definitely earned silver BOOBS for their efforts. And a Grand Golden Double Espresso, or whatever it is you drink over there, to mousethief for reviving the Challenges.

Matthew


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 4
From: mousethief
Date: 02 Sep 10 - 11:46 PM

Jane! A Silver BLOB for the sad but true (and funny) payoff line:

And if she won the lotto
No boys would look her in the eyes!


@Matthew: lol! Sorry, touchy word, isn't it! How about "customary"? And thank you for the Double Espresso. That's one of the many coffee-based money extractors here in Lattéland.


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 4
From: MMario
Date: 03 Sep 10 - 01:14 PM

(I keep thinking perhaps a parody of Oklahoma)

VEN    -ez- way-lah

where the breasts are auctioned by Rojas

Where the waving tits

are changed to fit

The winners choice of size of BRA.


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 4
From: Amos
Date: 03 Sep 10 - 02:56 PM

She entered on a Monday in Caracas town,
She won won won yeah she won won won
SHe felt her superstructure was a-lettin' her down,
She won won won yeah she won won won,
Yes, Caracas town,
Yes, they let her down,
Oh, and her hopes were high,
She won won won yeah she won won won

Well the judges told her she was it, oh yes they did!
She won won won yeah she won won won
And she got so excited that she flipped her lid!
She won won won yeah she won won won
Yeah, she won, she did!
Yes, she flipped her lid!

Oh, and her hopes were high
She won won won yeah she won won won

Well I saw her three days later and she looked so fine
She won won won yeah she won won won
And that's when I decided I would make her mine!
She won won won yeah she won won won
Yes, she looked so fine!
Yes,I'm gonna make her mine!

Oh, and her hopes were high
She won won won yeah she won won won!

She came back home a-sporting brand-new thirty-eights
She won won won yeah she won won won
I knew there wasn't any time to hesitate!
She won won won yeah she won won won
Oooh, she had thirty-eights!
Oooh! I didn't hesitate!

Ooo, and her hopes were high,

She won won won yeah she won won won

She won won won yeah she won won won

She won won won yeah she won won won

She won won won yeah she won won won


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 4
From: MMario
Date: 03 Sep 10 - 05:51 PM

Amos, you are *so* warped.


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 4
From: mousethief
Date: 03 Sep 10 - 11:51 PM

Wonderful! A lighthearted Silver BLOB to MMario for the indisputable:

Where the waving tits
are changed to fit
The winners choice of size of BRA.


And a nostalgic Silver BLOB to Amos for the delightfully twisted:

She felt her superstructure was a-lettin' her down

Let the good times bounce!


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 4
From: mousethief
Date: 05 Sep 10 - 12:29 AM

bump


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 4
From: Matthew Edwards
Date: 05 Sep 10 - 05:57 AM

This story gives a new twist to the phrase "elective surgery"; I wouldn't have thought politicians needed much help to make bigger boobs.

I wanted to try to write a song in imitation of Venezuela by John Jacob Niles, but I thought how on earth can I parody a song which itself is a sort of pastiche? In the end I realised I'll never get another chance to pair up vuvuzela and Venezuela so here goes.


Elections in Venezuela

She was blowing a vuvuzela,
And wore a badge upon her chest;
She supported Rojas to win the fight,
And do whatever he thought was right,
To win an election in Venezuela,
To win an election in Venezuela.

She bought a beautiful ticket, a ticket of blue,
A beautiful ticket so blue;
To raise funds for her candidate
And to maximise her mammorial state,
To win an election in Venezuela,
To win an election in Venezuela.

And when the electoral raffle, the raffle was drawn,
The raffle it was drawn,
She won the prize, to her surprise,
And her bust it grew, it grew in size,
And she blew a tune on her vuvuzela,
She blew a tune on her vuvuzela.

Gustavo Rojas, alas, didn't win the day,
His election flopped, his support just drifted away;
But as she walked off with her new DD
She said "Cheer up, there'll always be
Another election in Venezuela,
Another election in Venezuela."

Matthew Edwards


Regarding JJ Niles's counter-tenor voice

John Jacob Niles
Claimed to sing in high-mountain styles;
But people still think that
It sounds like more the yelps of a neutered tomcat.


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 4
From: Amos
Date: 05 Sep 10 - 09:56 AM

LOL, Matthew!! Nicely done!


A


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 4
From: mousethief
Date: 06 Sep 10 - 01:52 PM

An elective Silver BLOB to Matthew Edwards for the punny:

To raise funds for her candidate
And to maximise her mammorial state,


Mammaries, light the corners of my mind...
Misty, water-colored mammaries
of the way they were

-----------

Back in a flash with Golden Cow Chips.


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 4
From: mousethief
Date: 06 Sep 10 - 02:16 PM

And now here's the moment you've all been dreading, the Fit 4 Golden Cow Chip Awards!

The Golden Cow Chip Award with Harp Ribbon (for being able to make the Judges fall on the floor laughing OR make them short out their keyboard with tears) is hereby awarded to:
  • Georgiansilver for "In Old Venezuela"
  • Young Buchan for "Where are my tits, my noggin', noggin' tits?"
  • Jane for "Well listen up you lassies"

The Golden Cow Chip Award with Shamrock Cluster (for a very high level of imagination, imagery, and/or creative use of language in a song) is awarded to:
  • Amos for "You can be busted"

The Golden Cow Chip Award with Guinness Crest (for causing both Harp Ribbon conditions within one song) is awarded to:
  • McGrath of Harlow for "I bought a ticket in the lottery"

The Golden Cow Chip Award with Memorial MMario Silverplated Spittoon (for the Challenge! entry which evokes an instantaneous bubbling up of frothy mirth from out of the lips of the Judges and onto their monitor screen) is awarded to:
  • Ceto for "Matilda"
  • Mmario himself for "VEN    -ez- way-lah"

The Golden Cow Chip Award with Mt. Rainier Medallion (for closely and hilariously following the pattern of its original) is awarded to:
  • Amos for "She won won won won"
  • Matthew Edwards for "Elections in Venezuela"

   
Once again a fine showing of the amazing mammalian talent of our Challengees! Hold your ... erm, heads up high!

The new challenge will be posted in two tits. I mean ticks.


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 4
From: mousethief
Date: 06 Sep 10 - 02:49 PM

The new Challenge! (Fit 5) has been posted. Please come on over and write a funny song!


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 4
From: Trapper
Date: 21 Oct 10 - 02:40 PM

ELECTION, OR BUST!
TUNE: Verses - A Gay Caballero, (aka The Limerick Song)
      Chorus - Cielito Lindo
New Words: Trapper (Al Boyce)


A candidate, Venezualan
Behind in the polls was a-trailin'
So he'd raise campaign cash
For an 11th hour dash
With a raffle to keep him from failin'

CHORUS:
Aye, Aye, Aye, Aye
I'll buy a ticket!
Sell me a chance for your campaign finance
And I'll win me more than a handful!


He'd canvass professors and scholars
And women with fine frilly collars
For Bolivars in hand
Tot'ling 25 grand
(Or in U.S., exacty six dollars!)

CHORUS:
Aye, Aye, Aye, Aye
I'll buy a ticket!
Sell me a chance for your campaign finance
To win me some huge tracts of land!


As as prize for each patron's donation
He explained with a great excitation
For their six-buck advance
They'd each get one chance
For Mammary Amplification!

CHORUS:
Aye, Aye, Aye, Aye
I'll buy a ticket!
Sell me a chance for your campaign finance
And we will become your door knockers!


As enticement for joining his caucus
In the race for control of Caracas
Into surgery she gets
With her tinier tits
And come home with giant Maracas!

CHORUS:
Aye, Aye, Aye, Aye
I'll buy a ticket!
Sell me a chance for your campaign finance
And we will become bosom buddies!


Gustavo, the best of promoters
Did not win, was not one of the floaters
But he married the winner
And each night over dinner
Keeps abreast of one of his voters!

CHORUS:
Aye, Aye, Aye, Aye
I'll buy a ticket!
Sell me a chance for your campaign finance
And I'll win me more than a handful!


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 4
From: mousethief
Date: 22 Oct 10 - 02:24 AM

This is truly inspired:

As enticement for joining his caucus
In the race for control of Caracas
Into surgery she gets
With her tinier tits
And come home with giant Maracas!


And wins :

Golden Cow Chip Award with Memorial MMario Silverplated Spittoon

   (The GCCWMMSPS is awarded for evoking an instantaneous bubbling up of frothy mirth from out of the lips of the Judges and onto their monitor screen)


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 4
From: Flash Company
Date: 22 Oct 10 - 10:55 AM

I met him in Venez-u-a-a-a-a-a-la
He was out to get my vote,
He offered a prize in the lottery,
A pair of silicone tits for me,
If I'd vote for him in Venez-u-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-la!

So I went to the poll and I cast my vote as required,
My Vote he did require,
And he was elected, I'm pleased to say,
I stood in the street and I shouted Hooray,
I'll get my new tits in Venez-u-a-a-a-a-a-la

But when I went down to his office to pick up my prize,
I got a big surprise,
All that I got was a padded bra,
I tell you girls, politicians are,
A right load of tits in Venez-u-a-a-a-la

FC


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 4
From: mousethief
Date: 22 Oct 10 - 10:56 PM

A truly sad story, FC. What tune is it to?

Your ditty is well deserving of the:

Golden Cow Chip Award with Space Needle Teardrop

    (the Space Needle Teardrop is awarded for causing a lump of sadness to arise in the judges' throats.)


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