Funny boat songs

Subject: Funny boat songs
From: GUEST,Ed Bulmer
Date: 25 Sep 10 - 08:24 AM

Hi folks. I'm fairly new but I enjoy reading the threads here.
I'm a sailor/musician from Toronto Canada. I'm currently working on a new CD of comedy type folk songs and parody's about boating.
Does anyone know of any that might be of interest to boaters,


Here is an example for what I'm looking for=


The Wild Sailor (parody of the Wild Rover) by Ed Bulmer

I've been a wild sailor for many a year
I've spent all my money on boat gear and beer
And now I'm returning, I'm sunburned and sore
I never will be a wild sailor no more

And it's no, nay, never
No, nay never no more
Will I be a wild sailor
No, never, no more

I've sailed through rough waters till I turned black and blue
And lived many months eating from cans of stew
I've been dismasted, I've torn all my sails
Been hit by the boom and collided with whales

Chorus-And it's...

As I head to the Gulf stream I ask if I'm sane
If I make it alive, I won't do this again!
I'll send a note home to my family today
And tell them I'm selling my boat on Ebay.

Subject: RE: Funny boat songs
From: edbulmer
Date: 25 Sep 10 - 08:35 AM

Sorry folks I am a member, don't know why it's saying I'm a guest.

Subject: RE: Funny boat songs
From: Mr Happy
Date: 25 Sep 10 - 09:59 AM

MESSING ABOUT ON THE RIVER
(Tony Hatch / Les Reed)
Josh MacRae - 1962
Danny Kyle - 1998

When the weather is fine, you know it's the time
For messin' about on the river.
If you take my advice, there's nothing so nice
As messin' about on the river.
There's big boats and wee boats and all kinds of craft,
Puffers and keel boats and some with no raft.
With the wind in your face, there's no finer place
Than messin' about on the river.

There are boats made from kits that'll reach you in bits
For messin' about on the river.
And you might want to skull in a glass-fibred hull.
Go messin' about on the river.
Anchors and tillers and rudders and cleets,
Ropes that are sometimes referred to as sheets.
With the wind in your face there's no finer place,
Than messin' about on the river.

Skippers and mates and rowing club eights
All messin' about on the river.
Capstans and quays where you tie up with ease,
All messin' about on the river.
Outboards and inboards and dinghies you sail.
The first thing you learn is the right way to bail.
In a one-man canoe you're both skipper and crew,
Messin' about on the river.

Moorings and docks, tailors and locks,
All messin' about on the river.
Whirlpools and weirs that you must not go near,
Messin' about on the river.
Backwater places all hidden from view,
Mysterious wee islands just waiting for you.
So I'll leave you right now, go cast off your bow,
Go messing about on the river.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pOVC0-gIFck

Subject: RE: Funny boat songs
From: greg stephens
Date: 25 Sep 10 - 10:46 AM

Well the Good Ship Venus is the funniest boat song I know, but is probably not suitable for your CD

Subject: RE: Funny boat songs
From: GUEST,Bert
Date: 25 Sep 10 - 10:50 AM

Tanqueray Martinis OH"

Subject: RE: Funny boat songs
From: Gorgeous Gary
Date: 25 Sep 10 - 11:04 AM

Not quite sure if it's what you're looking for, but I've always enjoyed Schooner Fare's "Scuttlebutt". There's at least one verse about a landlubber trying to pass him off as a sailor.

There's also Camille West's "The Nervous Wreck of Edna Fitzgerald".

-- Gary

Subject: RE: Funny boat songs
From: Arthur_itus
Date: 25 Sep 10 - 12:02 PM

I always like this one :-)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jpg-KIKD5gU

Subject: RE: Funny boat songs
From: Bill D
Date: 25 Sep 10 - 02:39 PM

shanty: "The Ebeneezer"

Subject: RE: Funny boat songs
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 25 Sep 10 - 03:33 PM

Barnacle Bill the Sailor, if you exercise care in which verses to choose.
=======
And then there's the one that starts

It was 40 miles from Albany.
Forget it, I never shall!
What a terrible storm we had one night
on the E-Ri=EE canal!
=========
Several years ago I checked a book out of the library. It was called 'Songs of Man,' (I think) and was edited by Norman Luboff. it had a great song about the slowest boat on the Great Lakes.

I'll never forget the words "We drove the fleet before us..." i.e., they were last in line.

Subject: RE: Funny boat songs
From: Little Robyn
Date: 25 Sep 10 - 05:59 PM

Mary Ann McHugh by Percy French.
Find it here.
Robyn

Subject: RE: Funny boat songs
From: Leadfingers
Date: 25 Sep 10 - 07:44 PM

Mike Sparks from Herga Folk Club has a good one - Reach for the Gin

Subject: RE: Funny boat songs
From: GUEST,Gerry
Date: 25 Sep 10 - 07:46 PM

The Captain of the Pinafore.
Then there's the one that starts, A capital ship for an ocean trip/Was the Walloping Window Blind....
John Warner has a CD of pirate songs for kids, I'm sure you could find something useful there.
Bernard Bolan has a couple: Not Many Fish in the Harbour Today, Rose Bay Ferry.

Subject: RE: Funny boat songs
From: dick greenhaus
Date: 25 Sep 10 - 08:11 PM

Barnacle Under the Binnacle

Subject: RE: Funny boat songs
From: Gorgeous Gary
Date: 25 Sep 10 - 09:28 PM

Gerry: Your second one is right here on the DT, I believe. And yes, that's a good one!

-- Gary

Subject: RE: Funny boat songs
From: GUEST,highlandman sans cookie
Date: 25 Sep 10 - 10:51 PM

I nominate "If I Had A Boat" by Lyle Lovett.

Subject: RE: Funny boat songs
From: Genie
Date: 26 Sep 10 - 12:49 AM

How about "A Capital Ship?" (The Walloping Window-Blind)

Subject: RE: Funny boat songs: Wreck Of The Bay Rupert
From: Genie
Date: 26 Sep 10 - 12:52 AM

Not a parody, but this one's pretty funny:

The Wreck Of the Bay Rupert

Subject: Funny boat songs: Valparaiso In A Rowboat
From: Genie
Date: 26 Sep 10 - 01:00 AM

Here's one by Zeke Hoskins, about the days of Prohibition and booze smugglers taking advantage of Windsor, Ontario's proximity to Detroit. (Zeke gives the background first.)
Zeke Hoskin: "Valparaiso In A Rowboat

Subject: RE: Funny boat songs
From: Genie
Date: 26 Sep 10 - 01:01 AM

And I see my Capital Ship suggestion was already made, though unnamed in the post with the link. Seems it's an obvious choice.

Subject: RE: Funny boat songs
From: GUEST,Gerry
Date: 26 Sep 10 - 02:06 AM

I'll second Genie's recommendation of the Bay Rupert, and add Soon May the Wellerman Come (and mention in passing that both of these songs are on the Bok-Muir-Trickett album, And So Will We Yet.

Subject: RE: Funny boat songs
From: Neil D
Date: 26 Sep 10 - 02:31 AM

Lukey's Boat

Subject: RE: Funny boat songs
From: Steve Gardham
Date: 26 Sep 10 - 04:13 PM

There are numerous songs related to 'the Cruise of the Calabar' in which a canal boat journey is described in terms of being a long sea voyage. In fact there's a whole genre of songs that tell of a really silly canal cruise.

Subject: RE: Funny boat songs
From: GUEST,Seonaid
Date: 27 Sep 10 - 02:03 PM

Yes, "Good Ship Calibar" (et var.) is terrific.

"Paddy and the Whale" is a fun spoof on the Jonah story.
(So is the Newfie favorite, "Jack Was Every Inch a Sailor".)
Not about the boats specifically, but they take place aboard.
In "Paddy West" a house substitutes for a boat.

There's another sea-fun song that begins,

"Gather round my dears, pull the wool out of your ears,
And the wonders of the sea I will expound,
You can see I am a sailor 'cause I wear a sailor hat;
Six times I have been shipwrecked and found drowned."

I remember the chorus claimed that "we reefed the cable chain"...!
This was published in a 60s paperback called "Songs for Picking and Singing" (or maybe Pickin' and Singin').

Good hunting!

Subject: RE: Funny boat songs
From: Black belt caterpillar wrestler
Date: 27 Sep 10 - 03:17 PM

Pete MacNab wrote "The Purbeck Gem" about cruise trip with a load of Folk singers......

You'll have to ask him for the words though I've lost my copy!

Subject: RE: Funny boat songs
From: GUEST,Seonaid
Date: 27 Sep 10 - 03:20 PM

Just recalled the title of the song quoted above.
It's "Ee-lee-ay-lee-o", or something close to that.

Here's another one (learned via actual "folk process"!). Back during WWII my mother was a recruiter for the WAVES (US Navy women's auxiliary). They used to sing the following little ditty after a hard day of trying to convince parents that joining wouldn't "ruin" their daughters. (Now that women actually serve aboard ships, I'm sure it could be updated.) Tune is something akin to "Sing a Song of Cities":

"Don't make my girl a sailor, the weeping mother said;
Make her a WAC or send her back to Lockheed school instead.
I never raised my daughter to sail the raging sea,
And a man in every port is not the life she learned from me!"

(N.B. for youngsters: WAC = US Army women's auxiliary; Lockheed school = where "Rosie the Riveter" learned to put planes together.)

And if you're into funny women-at-sea songs, there's always "The Handsome Cabin Boy." Politically incorrect, maybe, but humorously intended.

Subject: RE: Funny boat songs
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 28 Sep 10 - 03:31 AM

From Elizabeth Cronin of Co Cork, Ireland.
Jim Carroll

ON BOARD THE KANGAROO
At first 1 was a waiter-man that lived at home at ease,
But now I am a mariner that ploughs the angry seas.
I always liked sea-faring life and bid my love adieu;
I shipped as steward and cook, my boys, on board the Kangaroo.

Chorus
Oh! I never thought she would prove false, or either prove untrue,
As we sailed away through Milford Bay on board the Kangaroo.

'Oh, think of me! Oh, think of me!', she mournfully did say,
'When you are in a foreign land and I am far away.
Now take this lucky thrupenny bit, 'twill make you bear in mind
The loving, trusting, faithful heart you've left in tears behind'.

'Cheer up! Cheer up! my own true love, don't weep so bitterly!'
She sobbed, she sighed, she choked, she cried, and could not say goodbye.
'As I won't be gone so very long, 'tis but a month or two;
And when I will return again, of course I'll marry you'.

Our vessel she was homeward-bound from many a foreign shore,
And many a foreign present unto my love I bore.
I brought tortoises from Tenerife and toys from Timbucktoo;
A China rat, a Bengal cat, and a Bombay cockatoo.

Paid off I sought her dwelling in a suburb of the town,
Where an ancient dame upon the line was hanging out her gown.
'Where is my love?' — 'She's married, sir, about six months ago,
To a smart young man that drives the van for Chaplin, Son & Co.'.

Here's a health to dreams of married life, to soap, to suds and blue,
Heart's true lovers, patent starch, and washing-soda too.
I'll go unto some distant shore, no longer can I stay,
And on some China Hottentot I'll throw myself away.

My love she's not a foolish girl, her age it is two score;
My love she's not a spinster, she's been married twice before.
They cannot say it was her wealth that stole my heart away:
She's a starcher and a laundress for eighteen pence a day.

Subject: RE: Funny boat songs
From: GUEST,HughM
Date: 28 Sep 10 - 08:15 AM

"Punters" by Robin Laing.

Subject: RE: Funny boat songs
From: janemick
Date: 29 Sep 10 - 09:52 AM

How about the Skipper in the mercantile marine?
@displaysong.cfm?SongID=76
This was sung by Cosmotheka, ages ago

Subject: RE: Funny boat songs
From: bobad
Date: 29 Sep 10 - 10:34 AM

Talkin' Bear Mountain Picnic Massacre Blues

I saw it advertised one day
Bear Mountain picnic was comin' my way
"Come along 'n' take a trip
We'll bring you up there on a ship
Bring the wife and kids
Bring the whole family"
Yippee!

Well, I run right down 'n' bought a ticket
To this Bear Mountain Picnic
But little did I realize
I was in for a picnic surprise
Had nothin' to do with mountains
I didn't even come close to a bear

Took the wife 'n' kids down to the pier
Six thousand people there
Everybody had a ticket for the trip
"Oh well," I said, "it's a pretty big ship
Besides, anyway, the more the merrier"

Well, we all got on 'n' what d'ya think
That big old boat started t' sink
More people kept a-pilin' on
That old ship was a-slowly goin' down
Funny way t' start a picnic

Well, I soon lost track of m' kids 'n' wife
So many people there I never saw in m' life
That old ship sinkin' down in the water
Six thousand people tryin' t' kill each other
Dogs a-barkin', cats a-meowin'
Women screamin', fists a-flyin', babies cryin'
Cops a-comin', me a-runnin'
Maybe we just better call off the picnic

I got shoved down 'n' pushed around
All I could hear there was a screamin' sound
Don't remember one thing more
Just remember wakin' up on a little shore
Head busted, stomach cracked
Feet splintered, I was bald, naked . . .
Quite lucky to be alive though

Feelin' like I climbed outa m' casket
I grabbed back hold of m' picnic basket
Took the wife 'n' kids 'n' started home
Wishin' I'd never got up that morn

Now, I don't care just what you do
If you wanta have a picnic, that's up t' you
But don't tell me about it, I don't wanta hear it
'Cause, see, I just lost all m' picnic spirit
Stay in m' kitchen, have m' own picnic . . .
In the bathroom

Now, it don't seem to me quite so funny
What some people are gonna do f'r money
There's a bran' new gimmick every day
Just t' take somebody's money away
I think we oughta take some o' these people
And put 'em on a boat, send 'em up to Bear Mountain . . .
For a picnic

Subject: RE: Funny boat songs
From: GRex
Date: 29 Sep 10 - 12:37 PM

I like the "Nancy Shanty" by Dave Reader, great humour.

             GRex