Help. Now why was I doing this? (songs about...)

Subject: RE: Help. Now why was I doing this? (songs about...)
From: Joe_F
Date: 29 Sep 10 - 08:28 PM

For versimilitude, these songs ought to have a chorus, along the lines of "So I dropped it on the floor, and then I had to piss".

Subject: Lyr Add: MIND OVER MATTER (Boulton/Parton)
From: Arthur_itus
Date: 29 Sep 10 - 02:52 PM

Dave Boulton from His Worship and The pig sent me the lyrics to this.
It's on their CD - Laugh or Cry Same Price (1999)
Do It Yourself/The Alternative/Big Cosgrove/Make Do and Mend/Flowers of Dunblane/Mountains and Men/Keep Smiling/Where There's a Will/The Oystercatcher/Mind over Matter

Website http://www.hisworshipandthepig.org.uk/


MIND OVER MATTER
Words by Dave Boulton, Tune by Jeff Parton

1. I was going to Majorca
With the missus, son and daughter
For a week of sea and sand and Spanish "pop."
We had just got to the airport
When a relatively rare thought
Just plopped into my head and made me stop.
I said, "I wish we'd bought the telly."
They said, "Dad, you're being silly."
I said, "I'm not. I've left the tickets on the top."

CHORUS: My belly's gone to pot and my eyes are on the blink.
My hair came off in handfuls and just vanished down the sink.
My hearing and my sense of smell have given up the ghost,
But of all the things I've lost,
I think I miss my mind the most.
I really think I miss my mind the most.

2. I can't put names to faces
And I can't remember places
That I must have been a hundred times or more.
I mix up all the children's names,
Call Vicky Jem and Davey Jane.
I don't think they even notice anymore.
I tell a joke and one will say,
"You told us that one yesterday,"
And the others all shout, "and the day before!"

3. I'd still give the girls the eye
If I could just remember why.
I'm worried that I might have lost the knack.
I've checked; the tackle's working fine
With frequent furtive tests "off-line,"
And I've got a plan to get me back on track.
I need Champagne, a Jacuzzi,
And a sympathetic floozy,
And just pray to God it all comes flooding back.

4. Well, I don't know who to blame
For addling me brain.
I'm not sure if it's the hand of God or man,
'Cause it could be cosmic rays, y'see,
Nuclear fallout, beef, or cheese,
Petrol fumes, or aluminium pans;
Though I think that Jameson and Haig,
Ruddles, Marston's and Laphroaig
Should be prepared to carry half the can.

Subject: RE: Help. Now why was I doing this?
From: GUEST,Bert
Date: 29 Sep 10 - 01:32 PM

Then there's

"Don't know what was the last thing on my mind" by Hot Soup

Hot Soup

Subject: RE: Help. Now why was I doing this?
From: wysiwyg
Date: 29 Sep 10 - 12:20 PM

I'm at the bottom of the thread... what did that OP say again? :~)

~S~

Subject: RE: Help. Now why was I doing this?
From: scouse
Date: 29 Sep 10 - 11:31 AM

Maybe this is it.......
Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. -   

Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.   


This is how it manifests itself:

I decide to water my garden.

As I turn on the hose in the driveway,   I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.

As I head towards the garage,   I notice post on the porch table that   I picked up from the postman earlier.

I decide to go through it before I wash the car.

I put my car keys on the table,   put the junk mail in the recycling box under the table,   and notice that the recycling box is full.

So, I decide to put the bills back   on the table and take out the recycling first.

But then I think,   since I'm going to be near the postbox   when I take out the recycling paper anyway,   I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my cheque book off the table   and notice that there is only one cheque left.

My extra cheques are in the desk in my study,   
so I go into the house to my desk where
I find the cup of coffee I'd been drinking.

I'm going to look for my cheques   but first I need to push the coffee aside   so that I don't accidentally knock it over.

The coffee is getting cold,   and I decide to make another cup..

As I head toward the kitchen with the cold coffee,   a vase of flowers on the worktop catches my eye - the flowers need water.

I put the coffee on the worktop and   discover my reading glasses that   I've been searching for all morning.

I decide I better put them back on my desk,   but first I'm going to water the flowers..

I put the glasses back down on the worktop,   fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote control. Someone left it on the kitchen table.

I realise that tonight when we go to watch TV,I'll be looking for the remote,   but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back where it belongs,   but first I'll water the flowers.

I pour some water in the flowers,   but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.

So, I put the remote back on the table,   get some towels and wipe up the spill.

Then, I head down the hall trying to   remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day:

The car isn't washed

The bills aren't paid

There is a cold cup of coffee sitting on the kitchen work-surface

The flowers don't have enough water,

There is still only 1 cheque in my cheque book,

I can't find the remote,

I can't find my glasses,

And I don't remember what I did with the car keys.

Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today,   I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all bloody day and I'm really tired.

I realise this is a serious problem,   and I'll try to get some help for it,   but first I'll check my e-mail.....

Do me a favour.   Forward this message to everyone you know,   Because I can't remember who the hell I've sent it to.

Don't laugh - if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!!

As Aye,

Phil

Subject: RE: Help. Now why was I doing this?
From: Snuffy
Date: 29 Sep 10 - 09:11 AM

I thought I remembered Les Barker doing something like this, but my memory's not what it was.

However, I see that on the track list of Guide Cats For The Blind there is a track called "Amnesia" performed by Nicholas Parsons. Might be that one.

Subject: RE: Help. Now why was I doing this?
From: Arthur_itus
Date: 29 Sep 10 - 04:29 AM

Blimey Splott Man you may well have hit on something there.

Mind Over Matter

Dave Boulton is going to send me the lyrics to that I can post them on here.

From my memory it is on the same lines as the poem already put on this thread and I think that has confused me.

Thanks

Subject: RE: Help. Now why was I doing this?
From: Splott Man
Date: 29 Sep 10 - 03:54 AM

On the British folk scene...

His Worship & the Pig (Dave Boulton and Jeff Parton)? - "of all the things I'm missing, I miss my mind the most."

Subject: RE: Help. Now why was I doing this?
From: Arthur_itus
Date: 29 Sep 10 - 03:04 AM

You definately have a problem Charles :-)

Subject: RE: Help. Now why was I doing this?
From: chazkratz
Date: 29 Sep 10 - 03:01 AM

Every time I look in the mirror there's this funny looking old guy looking back at me and I can't for the life of me remember who he is.

Charles

Subject: RE: Help. Now why was I doing this?
From: Arthur_itus
Date: 29 Sep 10 - 02:55 AM

LOL

Subject: RE: Help. Now why was I doing this?
From: Joe Offer
Date: 29 Sep 10 - 01:28 AM

Refresh.
Well, I'm afraid this is a subject near and dear to many of us. I went to my office from the kitchen the other day to get something very important, but I still can't remember what it was.
And now I'm in Rhode Island, and I can't remember why.....

Subject: RE: 'I Can't Remember' - who wrote it?
From: Arthur_itus
Date: 28 Sep 10 - 05:27 AM

Brilliant John. You did a good job there.

Here is the youtube of it with acknowledgement to Anita Spoon.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1O_xJln7zvA

Subject: Lyr Add: I CAN'T REMEMBER
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 28 Sep 10 - 04:49 AM

Nope it wasn't.

I CAN'T REMEMBER

Just a line to say I'm living
That I'm not among the dead,
Though I'm getting more forgetful
And mixed up in the head.
I got used to my arthritis.
To my dentures I'm resigned.
I can manage my bifocals,
But God, I miss my mind.
For sometimes I can't remember
When I stand at the foot of the stairs,
If I must go up for something,
Or have I just come down from there?
And before the 'fridge so often,
My poor mind is filled with doubt;
Have I just put some food away, or
Have I come to take some out?
And there is time when it is dark
With nightcap on my head . . .
I don't know if I'm retiring, or
Just getting out of bed.
So, if it's my turn to write you,
There's no need for getting sore.
I may think that I have written
And don't want to be a bore.
So, remember that I love you
And wish that you were near,
But now it's nearly mail time so,
I must say goodbye, Dear.
There I stand beside the mailbox,
With a face so very red . . .
Instead of mailing you my letter,
I'VE OPENED IT INSTEAD!

Author, Anita Spoon.

Subject: RE: 'I Can't Remember' - who wrote it?
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 28 Sep 10 - 04:27 AM

Pam Ayres?

Subject: RE: 'I Can't Remember' - who wrote it?
From: Arthur_itus
Date: 28 Sep 10 - 04:12 AM

LOL I know Mike, but as the mods do not respond to why the original thread was closed with good sound reasoning, I will carry on trying to research the origins.

Subject: RE: 'I Can't Remember' - who wrote it?
From: open mike
Date: 28 Sep 10 - 03:33 AM

the thread is here
http://www.mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=132379&messages=14

Subject: RE: 'I Can't Remember' - who wrote it?
From: open mike
Date: 28 Sep 10 - 03:31 AM

this seems familiar didn't we just discuss this?
(in the thread that was mysteriously closed)
or as Tom Rush said when his song about forgetting/remembering
went "viral" perhaps it was just watched multiple times by
someone who forgot they watched it before...

did you forget that you posted this yesterday?

Subject: Lyr Req: I CAN'T REMEMBER
From: Arthur_itus
Date: 28 Sep 10 - 02:52 AM

I heard this poem at a folk event in the UK, but can't remember who did it.

I am looking for the name of the person who wrote it.

I Can't Remember!
Just a line to say I'm living,
that I'm not among the dead,
though I'm getting more forgetful
and mixed up in the head.

I got used to my arthritis,
to my dentures I'm resigned,
I can manage my bifocals
but God I miss my mind,

For sometimes I can't remember,
when I stand at the foot of the stairs,
if I must go up for something,
or have just come down from there.

And before the fridge so often,
my poor mind is filled with doubt,
have I just put food away,
or have I come to take some out?

And there's the time when it is dark
with my nightcap on my head,
I don't know if I'm retiring,
or just getting out of bed.

So if it's my turn to write to you,
there's no need for getting sore,
I may think that I have written
and don't want to be a bore.

So, remember that I love you
and wish that you were near
but now it's nearly mail time
so I must say good-bye dear,

There I stand beside the mailbox
with a face so very red,
instead of mailing you my letter,
I opened it instead!

Subject: RE: Help. Now why was I doing this?
From: Arthur_itus
Date: 27 Sep 10 - 03:56 PM

I have heard somebody do it on the folk scene in the UK, so maybe somebody will know more about it.

Subject: RE: Help. Now why was I doing this?
From: beardedbruce
Date: 27 Sep 10 - 03:52 PM

I wonder, as well- but I do not find other places that DO have a name attached ( large bandwidth here, easy to do searches)

Subject: RE: Help. Now why was I doing this?
From: Arthur_itus
Date: 27 Sep 10 - 03:52 PM

Well we might as well have all the songs / poetry on this thread Peter.

Subject: RE: Help. Now why was I doing this?
From: Midchuck
Date: 27 Sep 10 - 03:50 PM

Tom Rush has another good one on the "Trolling for Owls" CD.

I can't remember what the name of it is...

Peter

Subject: RE: Help. Now why was I doing this?
From: Arthur_itus
Date: 27 Sep 10 - 03:48 PM

Not finding anything about George Altschul linked to that poetry.

Subject: RE: Help. Now why was I doing this?
From: Arthur_itus
Date: 27 Sep 10 - 03:41 PM

Thanks BB

I wonder if that is the true person who wrote it.

Subject: RE: Help. Now why was I doing this?
From: beardedbruce
Date: 27 Sep 10 - 03:37 PM

ok, someone who claims it...

Subject: RE: Help. Now why was I doing this?
From: beardedbruce
Date: 27 Sep 10 - 03:35 PM

one location- no attribution...

Subject: Lyr Add: I CAN'T REMEMBER
From: Arthur_itus
Date: 27 Sep 10 - 03:31 PM

LOL A little bit of expert googling and found it. However, I do not know who wrote it and who does it on the folk scene.

I Can't Remember!

Just a line to say I'm living,
that I'm not among the dead,
though I'm getting more forgetful
and mixed up in the head.

I got used to my arthritis,
to my dentures I'm resigned,
I can manage my bifocals
but God I miss my mind,

For sometimes I can't remember,
when I stand at the foot of the stairs,
if I must go up for something,
or have just come down from there.

And before the fridge so often,
my poor mind is filled with doubt,
have I just put food away,
or have I come to take some out?

And there's the time when it is dark
with my nightcap on my head,
I don't know if I'm retiring,
or just getting out of bed.

So if it's my turn to write to you,
there's no need for getting sore,
I may think that I have written
and don't want to be a bore.

So, remember that I love you
and wish that you were near
but now it's nearly mail time
so I must say good-bye dear,

There I stand beside the mailbox
with a face so very red,
instead of mailing you my letter,
I opened it instead!

Subject: RE: Help. Now why was I doing this?
From: Arthur_itus
Date: 27 Sep 10 - 03:09 PM

ermmmm. I am not sure any more fB!

Subject: RE: Help. Now why was I doing this?
From: fat B****rd
Date: 27 Sep 10 - 03:07 PM

What was the question, Arthur?

Subject: RE: Help. Now why was I doing this?
From: Arthur_itus
Date: 27 Sep 10 - 02:41 PM

And there was me thinking you had come up with the result Crowhugger in a blistering 5 minutes. :-)

Subject: RE: Help. Now why was I doing this?
From: Crowhugger
Date: 27 Sep 10 - 02:36 PM

I can't help you with finding the song but it sure sounds like one I oughta learn!

Subject: Help. Now why was I doing this?
From: Arthur_itus
Date: 27 Sep 10 - 02:31 PM

Somebody was talking to me the other day and commenting on how forgetful they were getting.
I mentioned that I new of a poem/song that was very funny about how you begin to forget why you are doing something. But for the life of me, I can't remeber what it was called or who wrote it. I am sure somebody on Mudcat knows which one I am on about. I would like to know, who wrote, the title of the item and the words/lyrics to it.

All I remember, is that it mentioned things like "Why am I standing at the fridge" or about the need to go upstairs to get something and getting halfway up and wondering why you were on the stairs etc etc.

Let's see who is the quickest to solve this. I hope I can remember that I started this thread.

Many thanks