BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Dec 24 - 08:24 PM

I’m up for secret Santa.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 29 Nov 24 - 05:56 PM

Bats fly. We don't need no stinkin' drones.

Which is just as well, as mail coming from or going to where I live is so delayed we are a topic of Congressional investigation, which pretty much guarantees that the problem a) won't be identified and b) won't be fixed.

But supersonic communication as to who is to sent what to whom can be achieved. You'll just have to play the messages on Slow, like in that Star Trek (the one you actually see Kirk putting his boots back on sitting on that episode's female's bed)...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Black belt caterpillar wrestler
Date: 29 Nov 24 - 04:11 AM

Bat drone delivery?

Robin

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 28 Nov 24 - 09:37 PM

Does it have any envelopes and stamps?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 28 Nov 24 - 09:27 PM

the bat is in for secret santa, figuring anything that gets to where it's intended to be by, say, the vernal equinox, would count as on time...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Nov 24 - 11:26 AM

It being the day of Thanksgiving in the US, Lá Shona na Go raibh maith agat!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 27 Nov 24 - 10:39 AM

That said, hop on it. There are only a few folks here and addresses can be exchanged quickly without creating a spreadsheet (as was helpful in years past when Mudcat Tavern's secret santa was a robust operation).

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 26 Nov 24 - 10:45 PM

It's a little late, but we could try it, at least for sending cards. (I do have the bandwidth).

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 26 Nov 24 - 09:24 PM

Not sure I have the batwidth, what's involved?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Nov 24 - 08:24 PM

Will you coordinate the Secret Santa this year?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 19 Nov 24 - 08:26 PM

Both!

Secret Santas?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: keberoxu
Date: 19 Nov 24 - 04:47 PM

Will the Tavern observe Thanksgiving,
or focus more on Christmas this season?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 14 Nov 24 - 10:31 AM

We just never got the hang (that's a bat pun) of them there hankies. Never did grok Bilbo on that score.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Nov 24 - 06:58 PM

Okay, there might be some hankypanky about to go on. The Cricketbat is
"putting the moves" on a Baseballbat.

Of course, there is never any sort of hankypanky in a Mudcat Tavern, so I'm probably wrong.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 09 Nov 24 - 01:06 PM

Ahoy there, fellow chiropter, have a drink! squeaked our bartending (pro tem) bat, relaxing into their native supersonic (to most humans and other beasties) language. We have the cloud of bats who've fled several belfries in bewilderment ahead of you, but what'll it be? You're ahead of the cauldron who will not get served here for a while... such as combativeness, battlers, bloodbathers, and similar unwelcome visitors.

Several folks and a couple of other things in the tavern, having heard nothing but pouring, stirring, clinking and teakettles whistling, wonder vaguely why so many bats suddenly stop flitting about the rafters and start queuing at the bar, but most of them can't bring themselves to care, just yet. Overcome with benumbing, bloody, billowing, completely understandable and thus oxymoronic bewilderment, they can't even. (And who can blame them.) The few that do split into 10 groups, one who queues up also, and the other who knows binary. Free drinks for that one.

One additional mostly unheard squeak specifies, The vampire bats can serve themselves...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Nov 24 - 05:44 PM

Over in a topologically irrelevant corner the Cricketbat is rubbing its forelegs together, making a sound like someone scratching their head.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 07 Nov 24 - 12:30 PM

So, do we have a wake? The ahemophagous bat is already flitting rather maniacally behind the bar, setting up the not-quite-whipped cream, the not-quite-hot coffee, the various Irish offerings from Jameson to Powers with the Mist on the side, and hot water to preheat the mugs or make hot drinks. There are Long Spoons everywhere, there are clove-studded lemon wheels with the bitter pith removed, someone has sent the cream to Old Bailey where it belongs (man, those B52s have a lot to answer for). The usual (the word Normal almost appeared here, but thought the better of it) bartender is still unconscious, moaning vaguely in a corner.

Actually, there are a lot of people vaguely moaning in various corners, and who can blame them. Some are at the beach, so someone needs to make mai tais and Long Island Iced Tea for that crowd, yeah, let's have a luau too, roast a pig, bonfire, indeed! Ooh, méchoui! Mix our parties right up!

The first Irish Coffee is being brewed, for the bat, by the bat, so that being drunkenly alert for hours, like I think Gil the Arm said, shall not perish from the Tavern.

Who's having the next one? It won't be long, you have to drink it while it's still hot all the way to the bottom, or you can't cuddle yourself into the glass afterwards (well, if you're small enough to do that) till it gets cold. Our bat is willing to skip the cuddling part to make more Irish Coffees. Hot punch is also on offer. Or toddies, if you want some tea salvaged from the harbor, back when reason prevailed...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 07 Nov 24 - 03:38 AM

nor has the wombat ...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 06 Nov 24 - 06:38 PM

The bat has never been more bewildered.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Tattie Bogle
Date: 05 Nov 24 - 05:43 PM

Oxymoron: how can dysarthria be asymptomatic - or have I missed something?
Ok, I confess, I haven't been in the Tavern for a LOOOOONG time!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Donuel
Date: 05 Nov 24 - 02:37 PM

I was depressed to learn that Severn has unfortunately been diagnosed with asymptomatic Dysarthria.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 05 Nov 24 - 02:01 PM

One of the tavern cats strolls the length of the bar, getting a couple of tail scratches and tugs along the board, and approaches a tall and slim roughly-woven basket standing at the corner near the access to the Recovery Ward and tavern reading room (upstairs). The basket might have been set there by Rapparee when he concluded the recitation of his golfing ditty, then left. Like sewing pins attracted to Rap's wife's magnet, the cat is compelled to lean its head into the side of the basket, all eyes watching as it almost slow-motion topples over. The racket of several dozen multi-colored used golf balls startles everyone in the room as they bounce and then roll in all directions.

Subject: RE: Songs that mention food
From: GUEST,Mudcat Tavern Local poll worker
Date: 04 Nov 24 - 11:06 AM

Not all sentient beings in the Tavern are allowed to vote, but they have their eyes on the prize: a world in which squid and bats and cats and ducks and whatever that large smelly thing is back in the corner where the Christmas tree usually hangs can cohabit a shape-shifting tavern without a cretin governor in a wheelchair rolling up to stop the music and exchange of mind-altering substances.

The ducks have spearheaded the cache of salad greens, quinoa, and various bugs that usually inhabit the pond in the creek back behind the Tavern parking lot. There is a bear (doesn't come indoors often) that has rounded up lots of blue jeans, surveyor's vests, and Stetson hats as disguises should Tavern clientele need to flee quickly and blend into the woods.

The squid has amassed an ungodly amount of booze. They seem to think that will be most useful for the rest of the week.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 03 Nov 24 - 11:36 AM

Yay! It snew!

What snew with you?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Nov 24 - 10:23 AM

The golf greens are white
For it snowed overnight.
Yet there are golfers three
Tho’ it’s Fahrenheit thirty-three,
And it’s going to get worse,
But you should hear how they curse!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 27 Oct 24 - 11:02 PM

The Mash in the mosh pit?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Severn
Date: 27 Oct 24 - 02:23 PM

They're bringing some band into the senior apartments where I live called Gary and the Groove. We'd asked for Gory and the Grave. Who's doing the Halloween music in the tavern this year?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 27 Oct 24 - 10:00 AM

The vibrations of that roared Arrh! reach the bar, rattling the glasses a smidge…

Ooh, squeaks the bat (supersonically, so nobody notices but the Wombat and the youngest Squidlet), now, my costume can be completed in time for Halloween! Trying desperately to uncork themself from the bottom of that last Irish coffee before the echoes died away, they roll the glass over and flit out just before the ghost of some funky old guy snatches it up an inch from the floor.

Good catch! Says the bartender. I lose a lot of glasses to people not being able to get back out of'm...

Our bat, meanwhile, is chuckling in the rafters.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Oct 24 - 06:01 PM

You'll have to reduce the size or move around the page to see Bats!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 26 Oct 24 - 05:08 PM

Aaarrrr

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 26 Oct 24 - 10:54 AM

Gimme an Aaarrrr! I need one!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Severn
Date: 25 Oct 24 - 05:43 PM

I d go into pirate bars, since I am diabetic, I can't have my music !too sweet, either. I do know many scurvy ditties, if that helps.They tend to be the old ones,as I don't speak any Somalian....

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Severn
Date: 25 Oct 24 - 02:04 PM

I used to be one, bit now I'm much like Pontius Pirate and have washed my hook of the whole thing. Being diabetic, I just go onto bars for the music......

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 20 Oct 24 - 11:08 AM

That there bat really needs to talk to that pirate, or to the time-travelers on Sep. 19 today. Also, some lime-green chiffon, or other French rag light enough to flit in...

Will the Tavern understand the costume is another story...

Meanwhile, the bat is nestled into the bottom of their Irish coffee glass like a kitten in a snifter, snoozing in the warmth.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Oct 24 - 12:50 PM

Severn?! Back? Bah, bumhug! Sev never LEAVES a tavern.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: keberoxu
Date: 18 Oct 24 - 01:54 PM

Don't know about pirates,
but it sure is fine to have Severn back at the Tavern.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 16 Oct 24 - 08:54 AM

The ahemophagous bat needs a pirate. Any around?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 15 Oct 24 - 04:13 PM

(Hah! It's working!)

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 15 Oct 24 - 11:18 AM

Those must be strong drinks, I'm feeling a contact high just from reading the last couple of posts on the computer screen.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 14 Oct 24 - 09:35 PM

Bats thould proofread, but they don't see that well.

Which is why the blind guy fell down the well. He didn't see that well, either.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 14 Oct 24 - 09:33 PM

The ahemophagous (like that?) bat drags in a tiny pumpkin, and heaves it with difficulty till it's under the last unoccupied barstool. Then, having flitted up onto the creased magenta velour seat via a quick dip into Rap's drink, they order yet another Irish coffee, and ask for a small paring knife. Looking down the bar, with a whipped cream moutache making them look rather likeca negative of Snidely Whiplash or Boris Badenov (prosopagnisia again) they ask Are ye planning on being Santa for Halloween, then, lassie?
The Irish coffee having disappeared while piping hot, as explained in The Ling Spoon, the bat frops the paring knife carefully point down, flits quickly via Sev's drink to their little pumpkin, and starts planning, devilishly.
In the lomg run, there is a little pumpkin jack-o-lantern on the windwsill (not the one towards the beach, the one to where it's always after dark), lit by a third of a birthday cake candle. It has a welcoming if lopsided grin with snaggly teeth, stellate eyes bursting with laugh lines, and a debonair beret basque.
Now, what costume, hmmmm....

But yeah, Secret Santa, the bat adds over their shoulder, flitting back onto the barstool and ordering s decaf Irish mocha. Didna mean to discourage the idea...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Severn
Date: 11 Oct 24 - 09:31 PM

Billy The Squid peers through the door from the beach. So far, though the Squid population has as been fed and Mellowed and still tend to take whatever has. Been left around by us humans at Christmas, they have been spending much time away. One tends to wonder if the original Squid couple will have another brood and Billy and the crew who once broke into and raced around the Recovery Hospital in the Old Days, Or will some of the Younger bunch settle down and take over. What is the average lifespan of a Squid, Giant or normal size. How many, if any, have already left and since they don't seem to write postcards like Snowmen, Alligators and some of the other creatures that come and go, what will become of our Squid population? Will we have to enlarge the pool when another generation occurs? Any ideas?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 11 Oct 24 - 07:19 PM

Yes! It is a little bit gamey like venison, but it has enough fat marbled in that it really has great flavor (and is definitely good for Keto diets!)

Years ago my children and I worked together deciding on and making a Secret Santa gift because MMario was our recipient. We made heavy-duty lap quilt (4'x6') of corduroy and flannel for whatever festival travels he might need a really warm cover for. I still think about that gift, and am so sorry that he is gone.

Hmmm. Should we try a Secret Santa exchange again this year? Mudcat Tavern participants might enjoy it.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 11 Oct 24 - 05:13 PM

Ooh, the smell of roasting auroch! Delightful.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Oct 24 - 08:45 PM

MMario told me, but I have been sworn to eternal secrecy. Suffice to say, the stuff he served us was fresh and never frozen. As Hamlet said, "There are more things on heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy."

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 10 Oct 24 - 02:15 PM

This popped up in the news today and begs the question: Just where did MMario source that fine auroch that he always grilled for us in the Mudcat Tavern?

Was time travel involved, are there a bunch still frozen in ice-age glaciers waiting to be processed and served? Or a little sneaky trip to Netherlands and a mislabeled package?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 09 Oct 24 - 09:47 AM

The bat has just gotten this joke, about a minute after hearing it, and the last of their Irish coffee just spurted out of their not-as-flat-as-a-vampire-bat's nose. That hurt.

Someone asked the barkeep, where did the new glass go?

Nova Scotia, he replied, and ducked.

It was the ducking that made the bat realize they'd missed something, so they ordered an Irish coffee and perched on the bar to indulge in it right-side up.

Once they got their breathing tubes sorted out and the cream out of their nostrils, they ordered another, feeling that the first had not been quite actually drunk.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Severn
Date: 08 Oct 24 - 08:14 AM

It still feels like it.

I wave and express greetings with Les and Demi Modo in his tower and check out my mailbox, put the contents into a Trader Joe's bag to read later and walk into the main room to collect such handshakes, hugs and smiles as await me, step up to see the aligator, as it is now actually later, and order a Stevia grape soda to wash down my traditional Auroch-On-Roll sandwich and raise a toast to Mmario.

W walk with a blackthorn walking stick that along with my suspenders provides my visible means of support, as I have a pinched nerve in my back to add to the burns, pacemaker, pains left over from the cancer (now 12 years in remission), diabetes and whatever else I have survived. Everything hurts, but the smile remains with joy behind it.......

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Oct 24 - 07:35 PM

You're in the right place, Sev.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Severn
Date: 07 Oct 24 - 02:31 PM

After aimlessly wandering around after last year, I am glad to relate that stumbled into the Getaway. I wasn't sure if I would make it, but when I did, found I was scheduled to co-lead two workshops, so I was expected. I dropped by to see if anybody was still here.....