BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 23 Jul 23 - 07:33 AM

The barman watches someone pour beer down the back of someone's trousers, turning a blind eye.

The rest of the rotisserie looks good...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Donuel
Date: 22 Jul 23 - 06:00 PM

I'm surprised the barman responded so quickly but every else sounds realistic.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 22 Jul 23 - 05:56 PM

The bat tells this joke, but no human could hear it:

erner Heisenberg, Kurt Gödel and Noam Chomsky walk into a bar. As they get inside, Heisenberg looks around and then comments, "You know, there are three of us. And we're in a bar! This must be a joke! The question is, is it funny?"

Gödel gives him a scornful look and says, "We can't tell whether it's funny or not: we're inside it."

Chomsky chuckles and says, "Of course, it's funny. You're just telling it wrong!"

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Amergin
Date: 22 Jul 23 - 02:31 PM

Excuse me, I know I look weird, but I'm going to look around, as I approach the bar. It's been a moment or three since I crossed the threshold, and the faces blinking away the sunlight locked away behind the door.

"Close that farking thing! You're letting all the cool air out!" says some grumpy old git in the corner, nursing a glass of whiskey, his elbows pushing into the oak table top. He lifts his glass, and pours the contents in his mouth, his throat pulsating as he swallows. Then, he smiles "Good to see you, 'Gin!" Then, he smiles as he fades in the shadowed darkness, the condensation slides down the chilled glass, encircling the base. But he's gone.

"You, too, old friend. You too." I whisper, as the barman asks me what I want. "Oh I'll take whatever beer you have that tastes like rotten socks that have been sprayed by a skunk, and some Tears."

The barman smiles and pours my IPA, and a shot of Writer's Tears. He sets them on the rubber mat in front of us, and I give him my card. Yeah keep it open, please. I kinda want to get piss drunk tonight.

I take my drinks to a quiet table, out of the way, to people watch and work.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 21 Jul 23 - 10:57 AM

Bewildering!

I bewandered inn...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: keberoxu
Date: 21 Jul 23 - 09:34 AM

How are things in the Tavern? iT's been almost a week.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 15 Jul 23 - 02:18 PM

Or Shirley.

Time-traveled to Michigan to buy legal weed and got back to Indiana before the dispensary opened! Bats sure can fly.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Donuel
Date: 13 Jul 23 - 09:23 AM

Admiral Spongebob and General Patrick drift into the back room where the poker games happen. Donuel sticks his ear on the door and hears...

Look at the advantages Patrick, no more veteran suicides, no more PTSD for our boys...

But AI warfare is not approved by Congress and...

Screw Congress, this is a matter of National security and China is probably ahead of us and could share with Russia. We can't have an AI GAP! Make project AK (Autonomous Kill) go full speed ahead. Every war begins by using the last war's weapons and strategy and then we finally get to test our new stuff, This Ukraine war is an ideal battleground to wage our first false flag AI war.

I suggest we misdirect by advertising the use of our outdated weapons like cluster bombs.

Good thinking, we have to keep this move - eyes only.

Once you do this you can't interrupt AI strategy which may be totally alien to anything we would do. Aborting the mission won't be an option anymore.

Bullshit, don't talk about pulling the plug before we even begin.

Yes sir.

Remember our deep underwater cover, don't call me sir.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 13 Jul 23 - 09:00 AM

The bat is buffeted.

Chicago is windy *and* has great restaurants!

Bwahaha!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: NightWing
Date: 10 Jul 23 - 05:43 PM

keberoxu: I had always thought that the Tavern was underwater to begin with. If that's the case, sea level rise shouldn't affect it in the slightest :-)

Say, is the sheet music for that "Call to Song" that Sandra in Sydney posted the link to available anywhere. It's marvelous!!!

BB,
NightWing

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: keberoxu
Date: 06 Jul 23 - 04:25 PM

How is the Tavern equipped against climate change and global warning,
I wonder?
I may be sorry I asked . . .

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: keberoxu
Date: 02 Jul 23 - 08:05 PM

maybe an accordion,
from Germany by way of Tex-Mex music.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Roger the Skiffler
Date: 29 Jun 23 - 04:01 AM

I'm increasingly bewildered but I remember my days at the tavern, filling the pool with jello, too old and retired now and Matron won't let me out of the NYCFTTS.
RtS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 28 Jun 23 - 09:19 PM

Someone comes in with a fife and drum.

On suivra avec quoi, une musette?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 24 Jun 23 - 10:40 PM

If some folks aren't crumpetting I am less sorry I stole one of the old lady's...

Et félicitations! A bas les glucides!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 24 Jun 23 - 11:25 AM

crompettes?

are we talking about the same thing?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Senoufou
Date: 24 Jun 23 - 03:31 AM

Les pieds chauds de l'Africain sont la, petit chauve-souris. Et les crompettes n'existent plus, car la vieille mange seulement les salades. Elle a perdu 50 livres de poids!
Donc, au Taverne, donnez a elle quelques feuilles at un morceau d'oignon cru! Gros bisous et un grand calin a toi Mrrzy!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 20 Jun 23 - 09:02 AM

Ther smell of newly-baked crumpets wafts from behind the kitchen door...

We're gonna need more butter!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 19 Jun 23 - 05:42 PM

that's MY crumpet - I'll need some more - please & thankyou!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 19 Jun 23 - 04:12 PM

Eeeeeed
Eeeeed
Eeeed
Eeed
Eed
... go the echoes.

(Legal weed means different things in different places. Not to mention enforcement and legality can be nearly orthogonal.)

The bat takes a crumpet and hangs under the old lady's side table, crunching merrily, and dripping butter up past their eyebrows. A small puddle forms under one ear, sizzling slightly on the hearthstones.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: keberoxu
Date: 19 Jun 23 - 12:39 PM

As Mrrzy has explained elsewhere,
legal weed means
you can buy it, but you may not sell it.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Donuel
Date: 19 Jun 23 - 09:47 AM

What does legal weed mean? You can have it but can't buy it?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 19 Jun 23 - 09:42 AM

A small tiedyed bat flits around the darkened rafters.

Darkened by all that smoke from legal weeeeeeeeed!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Donuel
Date: 19 Jun 23 - 09:17 AM

Like the Doomsday clock, the weirdness index is rising sharply.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 19 Jun 23 - 01:19 AM

the world is a far more bewildering place than it was 13 years ago when this thread started. Life was simpler than - politicians & other folks (of course, I'm not referring to Mudcatters!) just lied as was their occasional want ... now they create alternate realities - all the time.

Lots of gloom & desolation - but buttery crumpets are still around!

I'll have a plate full of lovely buttery crumpets & a seat near the fire

A song to start, sung by former Mudcatter Canberra Chris, with occasional 'Catter Chris Maltby & Dug's brother Peter in the chorus.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 19 Jun 23 - 12:17 AM

Is the squid still there?

It seems that Nurse Ratched passed away, so the Mudcat Recovery Ward (go through the closet at the side of the bar in the main tavern) might be a friendlier place now.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 18 Jun 23 - 09:51 PM

I can give ya 3 steps, give ya 3 ateps mister, give you 3 steps towards the trapdoor with a squid under it...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: keberoxu
Date: 18 Jun 23 - 01:17 PM

I would have something to say if I weren't so bewildered . . .

Subject: RE: Sandwiched smotherd and Bewildered
From: Donuel
Date: 18 Jun 23 - 11:44 AM

Not Old Dude too?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Backwoodsman
Date: 18 Jun 23 - 06:35 AM

I’m bewildered - I haven’t a clue what you lot are on about…

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: MaJoC the Filk
Date: 18 Jun 23 - 04:35 AM

Hm .... This looks familiar .... Grab the batteries, then it's three steps, but I can only remember the last one was UP ....

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 17 Jun 23 - 11:58 PM

Wonderful to see some posts from Mudcat's dearly departed. Thanks, Mrrzy.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Mrrzy
Date: 17 Jun 23 - 10:46 PM

I was looking for a bar so I put Tavern in the search one, boy that brought up some fun stuff, but this seemed the best thread to reopen.

Bewilderment.

Whether in his best threads or not, Tom Lehrer mentions the Massachusetts State Home For The Bewildered once (well, he mentions it again every time I listen to whichever open that is)... but I digress.

(Yes, another Tom Lehrer reference.)

So, who's up for some random mayhem? Draco may have better Irish coffee --or was that the barkeep with the 4th profession?-- but ain't noplace in Known Space, 10 Forward, or intergalactic space dive long ago and far away that's got a giant squid, warm Ivorian feet, crumpets, *that* old lady, an Oxford comma, nor a nonbinary bat.

That I know of.

On y va?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: MikeL2
Date: 12 Oct 10 - 09:20 AM

hi Dan

Leg healing great. Went out for a walk today with no problems. The weather here is beautiful. for walking. Bright warm October sun and the Autumn trees are resplendent in their rainbow range of colours.

Must be a song there somewhere......!!

Soccer is out for me these days except for watching. Tonight on TV we have England v Montenegro in the Europeam qualifiers.

cheers

Mike

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 12 Oct 10 - 09:06 AM

Musta bin Max Spiegel, he's a cool guy :)

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Slag
Date: 12 Oct 10 - 04:55 AM

It was then that the stranger walked in and a hush fell over those present. He walked up to the bar and said "I'll have a bottle of whatever the neon glow gives." So, well you know 'cause you were there! The 'keep sets a solid bottle before him, so cold the steam is risng from its sides and if you were standing close enough you could here the little "pings" of ice forming and then snaping off the amber glass.

"And a xenon chaser" he says "at about 161.4 Kelvin, please." Well, we knew right then.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 12 Oct 10 - 04:27 AM

I shall sing, the Indigestion Shanty for gnu, I'll do the Jane Fonda workout version, so he can really 'feel the burn'

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Ebbie
Date: 12 Oct 10 - 01:01 AM

I'm tired tonight so I came in for some relaxation and maybe some music. I had lots of music last night when Red Molly played in Juneau but it created a need for more. So, sit up, everbuddy and grab an instrument- or heck, it might be even better if you just stand up and belt or croon as the force strikes you.

Music! Please.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 11 Oct 10 - 07:34 AM

Framus - the Tavern is ubiquitous and has many entries and exits in many parts of the world. There is only one jello pit though. You could come in from Belfast, leave by the same door and find yourself in Albuquerque. Don't take the left turn unless you want to get a face full of New Mexico thrown at you by the wind.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: gnu
Date: 10 Oct 10 - 06:26 PM

Just got back from Thanksgiving dinner. I'll have a Zantac and a Turkey Turd Beer to wash it down, please. The only things served without marg in/on them were the overly spicey dressing (stuffing), turkey, coleslaw and cheesecake. I couldn't even think about eating the cheesecake as my atreies were aching at the thought of all the fat and oil. And the spuds also had homogenized milk added. I didn't eat much but... ooooo me guts.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: olddude
Date: 10 Oct 10 - 03:56 PM

How about a little gentle music from my brother Bruce Murdoch to go with out tea or coffee or stronger stuff
fool like me

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: SINSULL
Date: 10 Oct 10 - 03:27 PM

Twinkles and the squid seem to be getting along nicely. From the pit"
"SSSSSSWonderful
SSSSSSSSSSSMarvelousssssssssssssssssssssssss
That you sssssssshould care
For me.
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSssssssawfully nice
it's SSSSSWeet as sssssssssssssspice
GLUGGLUGGLUG
burp"

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: framus
Date: 10 Oct 10 - 01:23 PM

I'm new here so forgive my niavete. Is there a branch in Belfast, or is it just totally ubiquitous?
Nice to spot a pedant like Ebbie _ I'll try and join in where possible.
Meanwhile, back to the cider and the G & T. I've got my very own recliner, so you can all sit tight - or getting tight.
Bye now.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: olddude
Date: 10 Oct 10 - 12:37 PM

Well today it is Welch's Grape Juice ... LOL Ok ok I will put it in a dirty glass if that makes ya happy

Mike heal up quick my friend, no soccer ok until it heals ...

did someone mention ... ahhhh can't even say the word ... ahhh J-e -l- L- O .. hell .... no no no no

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: MikeL2
Date: 10 Oct 10 - 11:54 AM

hi rapaire

Yes with my foot.....I am ambi-dexterous....lol

But I only drink four inches.....lol

Cheers

MikeL2

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: gnu
Date: 09 Oct 10 - 06:33 PM

I am beguiled.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Oct 10 - 02:19 PM

With your FOOT????

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: MikeL2
Date: 09 Oct 10 - 10:01 AM

hi Dan

Thanks for the kind thoughts. The leg is responding well and the doc says that I can move about a little today.

Lifting my glass to you....

Cheers

Mike

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 09 Oct 10 - 07:53 AM

I haven't finished using it yet!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern for the Bewildered
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 09 Oct 10 - 07:36 AM

Thanks John, but where's the other £113,019,920?

LTS