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Oh Lord! Musical Puns (for Severn)

Rapparee 04 Oct 10 - 10:55 PM
CapriUni 05 Oct 10 - 12:36 AM
The Fooles Troupe 05 Oct 10 - 02:10 AM
Rapparee 05 Oct 10 - 10:08 AM
open mike 05 Oct 10 - 10:55 AM
Bill D 05 Oct 10 - 12:08 PM
open mike 05 Oct 10 - 01:13 PM
MMario 05 Oct 10 - 01:16 PM
Rapparee 05 Oct 10 - 03:21 PM
Amos 05 Oct 10 - 03:43 PM
Rapparee 05 Oct 10 - 05:59 PM
The Fooles Troupe 05 Oct 10 - 06:13 PM
open mike 06 Oct 10 - 02:32 AM
Deckman 06 Oct 10 - 08:56 AM
Rapparee 06 Oct 10 - 09:42 AM
olddude 06 Oct 10 - 09:49 AM
Deckman 06 Oct 10 - 10:07 AM
gnu 06 Oct 10 - 10:25 AM
Severn 07 Oct 10 - 08:57 PM
Charley Noble 07 Oct 10 - 09:55 PM
maeve 07 Oct 10 - 10:06 PM
Rapparee 07 Oct 10 - 10:09 PM
Severn 08 Oct 10 - 02:04 PM
Severn 08 Oct 10 - 02:14 PM
Rapparee 08 Oct 10 - 02:27 PM
Art Thieme 08 Oct 10 - 03:58 PM
Severn 08 Oct 10 - 04:16 PM
Art Thieme 08 Oct 10 - 05:41 PM
Charley Noble 08 Oct 10 - 06:59 PM
Leadfingers 08 Oct 10 - 07:18 PM
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Subject: Oh Lord! Musical Puns (for Severn)
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Oct 10 - 10:55 PM

So a C, E-flat and G go into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, but we don't serve minors." So E-flat leaves, and C and G have an open fifth between them. After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished and G is out flat.

F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp
enough.

D comes in and heads for the bathroom saying, "Excuse me. I'll just be a second." Then A comes in, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor. Then the bartender notices B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and says, "Get out! You're the seventh minor I've found in this bar tonight."

E-Flat comes back the next night in a three-piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender says, "you're looking sharp tonight. Come on in, this could be a major development." Sure enough, E-flat soon takes off his suit and everything else, and is au natural.

Eventually C sobers up and realizes in horror that he's under a rest. C is brought to trial, found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a minor, and is sentenced to 10 years of D.S. without Coda at an upscale correctional facility.


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Subject: RE: Oh Lord! Musical Puns (for Severn)
From: CapriUni
Date: 05 Oct 10 - 12:36 AM

Rapaire, m'lad, you are incorrigible!


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Subject: RE: Oh Lord! Musical Puns (for Severn)
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 05 Oct 10 - 02:10 AM

So don't incorrige him!


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Subject: RE: Oh Lord! Musical Puns (for Severn)
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Oct 10 - 10:08 AM

Refreshment, so he'll see it.


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Subject: RE: Oh Lord! Musical Puns (for Severn)
From: open mike
Date: 05 Oct 10 - 10:55 AM

Where were the staff while all this was going on? Were they at rest?
I note they should have a good measure of blame for allowing this all to continue to such a crescendo.


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Subject: RE: Oh Lord! Musical Puns (for Severn)
From: Bill D
Date: 05 Oct 10 - 12:08 PM

Didn't we hear about A flat minor at the work songs workshop?


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Subject: RE: Oh Lord! Musical Puns (for Severn)
From: open mike
Date: 05 Oct 10 - 01:13 PM

isn't that what you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?


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Subject: RE: Oh Lord! Musical Puns (for Severn)
From: MMario
Date: 05 Oct 10 - 01:16 PM

guys - if you have trouble dealing with this one a THREAD - try it LIVE!

*grin*


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Subject: RE: Oh Lord! Musical Puns (for Severn)
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Oct 10 - 03:21 PM

Well, living out here in The West, near old Fort Issimo, I sometimes find myself in treble because I have scaled a clef beyond my reach alto I always leave a note so people will know the measures I've taken and that they can find me near the bass.


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Subject: RE: Oh Lord! Musical Puns (for Severn)
From: Amos
Date: 05 Oct 10 - 03:43 PM

The trouble being that all his basses are stolen. Rapaire claims it was a natural annual progression of bass runs, but we know better; he's the kind of person who can make you C# if you don't want to B-flat. Fortunately, I note he is not in very good shape.


A


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Subject: RE: Oh Lord! Musical Puns (for Severn)
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Oct 10 - 05:59 PM

Man, I B natural, C? I had a diminished fifth, but I left it in Maryland.


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Subject: RE: Oh Lord! Musical Puns (for Severn)
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 05 Oct 10 - 06:13 PM

ALL YOUR BASS ARE BELONG TO US!


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Subject: RE: Oh Lord! Musical Puns (for Severn)
From: open mike
Date: 06 Oct 10 - 02:32 AM

oh yes all your base are belong to us..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qItugh-fFgg


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Subject: RE: Oh Lord! Musical Puns (for Severn)
From: Deckman
Date: 06 Oct 10 - 08:56 AM

Some years ago, when I was teaching guitar at our local college, I called for a meeting of the several music teachers so we could improve the program. I well remember that the meeting was fully attended. I like to think it was because of the message I sent out:
"Let's have a MAJOR meeting, and talk about some MINOR issues, and DIMINISH our problems, and perhaps AUGMENT our incomes!" (bad, bad, bob)


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Subject: RE: Oh Lord! Musical Puns (for Severn)
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Oct 10 - 09:42 AM

A staff meeting, huh?


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Subject: RE: Oh Lord! Musical Puns (for Severn)
From: olddude
Date: 06 Oct 10 - 09:49 AM

Where is our Severn ... ???? Now I can't believe he would let this go


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Subject: RE: Oh Lord! Musical Puns (for Severn)
From: Deckman
Date: 06 Oct 10 - 10:07 AM

rap ... WELL, YOU'D HAVE TO READ BETWEEN THE LINES!


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Subject: RE: Oh Lord! Musical Puns (for Severn)
From: gnu
Date: 06 Oct 10 - 10:25 AM

I only ever went to short stakk meetings.


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Subject: RE: Oh Lord! Musical Puns (for Severn)
From: Severn
Date: 07 Oct 10 - 08:57 PM

Sorry, and thanks for the thread. I had read some of it, but I was sharing an unfortunately computer with a guest, busy tending to things at my townshack, taking Terry out looking for electronic gear (much cheaper in the USA), seeing doctors(satisfied with my burn rehab progress going to hear Jed Marum at Judy & Dennis, Cook's and sleeping a full day to catch up. My shelf like isn't what it used to be.

Had a great time at the Getaway and will join in the fun and puns shortly.

"Our Severn"-You made me sound like some sort of shared treasure and I slept through part of it. Again, many thanks and pardons.....


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Subject: RE: Oh Lord! Musical Puns (for Severn)
From: Charley Noble
Date: 07 Oct 10 - 09:55 PM

What a tribute!

Cheerily,
F# Noble


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Subject: RE: Oh Lord! Musical Puns (for Severn)
From: maeve
Date: 07 Oct 10 - 10:06 PM

""Our Severn"-You made me sound like some sort of shared treasure..."

So you are.


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Subject: RE: Oh Lord! Musical Puns (for Severn)
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Oct 10 - 10:09 PM

I want the parts that are worth something....


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Subject: RE: Oh Lord! Musical Puns (for Severn)
From: Severn
Date: 08 Oct 10 - 02:04 PM

Meanwhile, back at the old chorale (and still a little hoarse)...

Awe! G (minor)!

Thanks (and a virtual blush)......


Of chorus, you all didn't leave me much that hasn't already been said. Not bad for folks working together for scale. That's what they call harmony with grits!

But refrain! It's all I can stanza, I can't stanza no more! To Adante's Inferno with you all!

Though I suppose I can overcome all the strains and contribute more under add-verse conditions. Inspire before you expire, compose before you decompose, that's what I always say! (Although I'm forced to paint with a cleft palate).....

That's all for now. You used up most of the good stuff. I must go now and compose my latest movement, he said on a low note....


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Subject: RE: Oh Lord! Musical Puns (for Severn)
From: Severn
Date: 08 Oct 10 - 02:14 PM

Huzzah! My latest movement is now fully compost! When all is said and dung, it will go down with my greatest master pees.


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Subject: RE: Oh Lord! Musical Puns (for Severn)
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Oct 10 - 02:27 PM

Truly? Well, you can now forte-fy yourself (if you're not baroque or too beat) and cook up some cavatina with pizzicato, have a cup of espressivo, and just fugue around the rest of the day.


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Subject: RE: Oh Lord! Musical Puns (for Severn)
From: Art Thieme
Date: 08 Oct 10 - 03:58 PM

Recently, a fellow named Joseph (that's all he was called) ran looting through the streets of Haifa, in Israel. While doing that, he shot Mayor Newton of that town DEAD!

The police surrounded him -- and killed him! Researching his past, they found out that his mother had, long ago, once been in a convent in Barcelona, Spain. The also turned up the fact that Joseph had worked as a farm laborer quite often.Along with the story on this in the paper they ran a photo of the fellow. The caption read: Haifa lootin', Newton shootin', son-of-a-nun from Barcelona, part time plowboy, Joe.

Art Thieme !!!!!!!!!


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Subject: RE: Oh Lord! Musical Puns (for Severn)
From: Severn
Date: 08 Oct 10 - 04:16 PM

Sorry for my last one, folks! I was definitely a sacbut scraping bottom trying to prove that I could scatter the logical with the best of you. I'll stop being a retard of my own a-chord and quit thinking such viol thoughts, so take it all with a grain of psaltry.

Etude Brute, eh?
Oui,je suis Brute!


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Subject: RE: Oh Lord! Musical Puns (for Severn)
From: Art Thieme
Date: 08 Oct 10 - 05:41 PM

A man fell into a septic tank,
Boy, that tank it really stank,
He couldn't swim inside that tank
But he went through the movements before he sank!


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Subject: RE: Oh Lord! Musical Puns (for Severn)
From: Charley Noble
Date: 08 Oct 10 - 06:59 PM

Severn-

You should know that musical puns are nothing to fret about.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble


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Subject: RE: Oh Lord! Musical Puns (for Severn)
From: Leadfingers
Date: 08 Oct 10 - 07:18 PM

Musical Puns should be Barred !


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