BS: Surreal Practical Jokes?

Subject: BS: Surreal Practical Jokes?
From: frogprince
Date: 13 Oct 10 - 04:03 PM

I considered throwing this in some time ago, and decided to risk it after reading maple leaf boy's "blue joke" idea. If anyone here hasn't already suspected that I have a weird streak, they probably will after this:
We've had at least one recent thread on "surreal" verbal jokes, the "What's the difference between a duck", etc, etc, stuff. But, can the world use a few more surreal practical jokes? or have there been a bunch around that have slipped by me?
A thought that occured to me would be sneaking into Stevie Wonder's place, and painting his white piano keys black and the black one's white.

Subject: RE: BS: Surreal Practical Jokes?
From: gnu
Date: 13 Oct 10 - 04:56 PM

Yer sick. I like it.

Subject: RE: BS: Surreal Practical Jokes?
From: Ed T
Date: 13 Oct 10 - 05:14 PM

This is a drift, but I just recall a humerous incident I had.

A few weeks ago I visited a Chinese take out place. Since they cater to chinese students, the menu on the wall was in both English and Chinese. I was kinda bored waiting, and decided to add a bit of humour to the day. So, pointing to a chinese character, I said to the clerk, there is a spelling mistake here. I expected her to "get' the humour, as it would somewhat be unlikely I would know how to read Chinese.

She looked it over closely and carefully, then called out the kitchen staff. They all looked the character over, discussed it in Chinese at length. I detected from their body language that they did not know if there was a mistake or not.

She then turned to me and said, "Sir, we will have it fixed by tomorrow" I thanked her, not wishing to indicate it was a joke, after putting them through such an ordeal.

Subject: RE: BS: Surreal Practical Jokes?
From: Mrrzy
Date: 13 Oct 10 - 06:10 PM

LOL!
Wonder if it was "running" or "dog" they were thinking about...

Misdirecting tourists is always fun...

How about replacing underarm deodorant with cream cheese?

Subject: RE: BS: Surreal Practical Jokes?
From: Bill D
Date: 13 Oct 10 - 06:44 PM

Those aren't really 'surreal', Mrrz...

Surreal is more like having several people get in an elevator and all face the rear and go up as others get in.... many new ones will shuffle about and also face the rear.

Subject: RE: BS: Surreal Practical Jokes?
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Oct 10 - 09:10 PM

When you're asked for your driver's license when cashing a check or a cheque, tell them you don't believe in photography because the pictures steal your soul.

Or tell them you don't drive.

Sit outside a meeting of a vegetarian or vegan group and eat a hot dog.

Tell a vegetarian that you are what you eat.

Post a thread on Mudcat asking, "No, really -- what IS folk music?"

Subject: RE: BS: Surreal Practical Jokes?
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 13 Oct 10 - 10:15 PM

Joaquin Phoenix on David Letterman's show

The follow-up

Subject: RE: BS: Surreal Practical Jokes?
From: Jeanie
Date: 14 Oct 10 - 06:24 AM

This is a surreal thing that my daughter and I regret never having actually carried out, though we contemplated it for a long time and wish we'd done it: When my mother was living in a complex of retirement apartments which had a communal lounge where there was much gossip and hooh-haah amongst the ladies, we wanted to plant a basket/bag in there filled with a bizarre and eclectic mixture of objects (general elderly lady stuff plus a few odd or surprising things - a racy magazine for instance), just so that we could imagine all the fuss that would go on amongst the residents as to whose bag it could be. We chickened out of doing it, in case it caused upset to anyone - but it would have been a good one.

The other scheme, which we have also talked about doing for some time and are actually going to bring to fruition this year: Sending Christmas cards to people we know, but from fictitious people with bizarre but just-about-plausible "family news" [various lurid medical complaints/jolly japes performed by pets/amazing exam & sporting results from offspring etc. etc.) A relatively harmless trick, which will also help the recipients to while away the festive hours wondering who on earth "Sheila and Steve & the kids" are and where they might know them from.

- jeanie

Subject: RE: BS: Surreal Practical Jokes?
From: DMcG
Date: 14 Oct 10 - 07:55 AM

I've mentioned this before, but when I was a student we were discussing surrealism and I said that most musicals, in which people suddenly burst out into a song and dance with complete strangers who somehow know all the words and steps, take some beating ... so a group of us decided to do it. We would all go into a pub/bar in ones and twos over an hour or so and then when we were all gathered off we would go, with people joining in apparently at random from different corners of the room.

Perhaps because we we are much of the same age, no-one reacted at all, but most were probably thinking "Bloody students again"

Subject: RE: BS: Surreal Practical Jokes?
From: Ed T
Date: 14 Oct 10 - 09:10 AM

I recently received an after dinner call from a salesperson representing my Internet server. They first thanked me for doing business with them (which normally tells you thay are going to try and sell you something). The salsesperson than asked how I found the high speed internet. I said it was fine. She replied that she was happy to tell me that for a mere $7.95 a month I was eligible to receive an even faster internet service and went on to explain it...with little opportunity for me to say anything.

After she finished with all that, she asked me if I was interested in subscribing. I said no. She asked why not. I said "Honestly, I just don't know what I would do with all the extra time I would save and have on my hands. I added, that I would likely just drink more beer, and that would be unhealthy" She burst out in laughter and said, I never had that type of response before. She thanked me, still laughing before she hung up.

Subject: RE: BS: Surreal Practical Jokes?
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Oct 10 - 10:25 AM

I had installed a new IBM served and some months later received a call from IBM's "Customer Satisfaction" department. Naturally, I was asked how I liked the new RS6000 server.

I replied that it was great, especially after we'd gotten the pop-off valve fixed and there was no longer danger of a steam explosion. I also told him that it seemed to take a bit longer to get pressure up than with the old server, but once it was up it held the pressure better.

There was a pause and he asked, "Are you saying you have a steam powered RS6000????" Knowing he was "back East" and probably didn't have a clue about Indiana I agreed and told him that it was the first one in the city and that probably the next year we'd be getting electricity.

Finally, he caught on.

Subject: RE: BS: Surreal Practical Jokes?
From: Donuel
Date: 14 Oct 10 - 11:19 AM

I enjoy surreal jokes, comments and conundrums as much as my friend George who would say "now that will keep him thinking for days."

Nowadays there are uniformed security guards everywhere. They are usually posted outside at the exit of a store to purportedly check your receipt for any descrepencies such as carrying a canoe but only have a reciept for a pack of Depends.

Sometimes I play my part in a subdued deadpan personality or other times in a highly excited state in which I approach the security guard asking
"are you security? ...oh thank god, I need your help. I'm insecure. Do you know where I find more Security? Do you have any you could spare...etc.


So far the reactions are appreciative and laughing for a moment outside the usual drudgery of being a security guard.

Subject: RE: BS: Surreal Practical Jokes?
From: Donuel
Date: 14 Oct 10 - 11:38 AM

Largely based on Bob Newhart's phone call shtick with a touch of Bill Hicks themes whcih cut at the heart of our society, fears, indifference and absurdity. I do a number of pnoney cell phone conversations and have yet to have anyone interevene despite the danger that that they have just overheard.

Rather than write the entire routine I will list only a few of the themes.

Viagra overdose phone call

Cell phone description of Ibola symptoms of Aunt Ruth who just returned from Nirobi.

A call persuading Ted to settle down as he nears the air port scanner booth.

A call regarding an incident in which I ask "has anyone informed the public ?! GOOd... make sure they don't" then I hurridly rush off and break into a run.

---------------------

I Learned 30 years ago that there are a number of classic hyposis inductions in which a non seqitor or a conundrum is presented which places a person off gurad in a suspended state of disbelief which can be followed by a clear cut demand which resolves the disorder. The surreal leading to a state of heightened suggestibility is a powerful tool when used well.

Subject: RE: BS: Surreal Practical Jokes?
From: Donuel
Date: 14 Oct 10 - 11:48 AM

Dress up in Native American garb and go to a 4 star hotel on the busiest day possible with long lines and insist you have a reservation. If you have a partner have them come to your assistence and insist that not only do you have a reservation, but you also have a casino.
Your name is up to you; Shitting Bull, Squirting Fish, etc.

Subject: RE: BS: Surreal Practical Jokes?
From: frogprince
Date: 14 Oct 10 - 11:54 AM

Almost got belted by my wife in April in Las Vegas. First time either of us were there. We kept seeing both vans and guys in tee shirts with "A girl in 20 minutes" and a phone number. After awhile we walked by one of the guys and I asked if they took tradeins.

Subject: RE: BS: Surreal Practical Jokes?
From: Donuel
Date: 14 Oct 10 - 12:15 PM

oooooo

Subject: RE: BS: Surreal Practical Jokes?
From: Ed T
Date: 14 Oct 10 - 12:43 PM

It is interesting when eating or taking out food...at the end of the order if you say....and no anchovies please...the clerk always replies...we don't serve anchovies....even if you are ordering items that would never contain anclovies, like icec ream.

Subject: RE: BS: Surreal Practical Jokes?
From: Bill D
Date: 14 Oct 10 - 12:46 PM

Me: "Coffee, please...no cream"

Surreal waitress: "We're all out of cream, sir...you'll have to take it without milk."

Subject: RE: BS: Surreal Practical Jokes?
From: frogprince
Date: 14 Oct 10 - 01:06 PM

True sequence in Tim Horton's:

Me: Chili in a bread bowl, please.

Young male employee: I'm sorry, we're out of chili.

Me: That's OK, make it chicken and noodles in a bread bowl.

Young male employee: (after a couple of minutes looking around, and looking very sheepish): I'm sorry, we're out of bread bowls.

Subject: RE: BS: Surreal Practical Jokes?
From: olddude
Date: 14 Oct 10 - 02:07 PM

posted this one before but it is absolutely true:
I published it in the paper a few years back

Brothers

As I get older, I find that I spend more and more time thinking about the past.   It could just be a longing for a simpler time in life, or the deep desire to revisit the joys of my youth. Perhaps it is because I old and cannot remember anything current like where I left my car keys. I am not really sure what the reasons are, but I find that I think about my youth and my brother many times.

My brother is a wonderful man; he is a devoted husband and father with three beautiful daughters. He is smart, talented and funny.   He is also, with perhaps the exception of myself, the craziest person I have ever known.   

We spent a childhood laughing. Between he and my cousin, there were no dull moments around my house. Like all brothers (I being the oldest) we loved to play practical jokes.    I believed that I was the master who always had the upper hand. However, like many experiences in life, things are not all as they first appear.

The year was 1971 and my home was located in a small town in Pennsylvania. I was back from college one weekend and my brother called late at night wanting help to repair a bulldozer that one of the logging companies had broken. The company desperately needed the machine early in the morning so my cousin and I both agreed to work. Since I was in college and any money was more money than I had, why not? My cousin was a very good mechanic like my brother. I realized that I was mechanically challenged when I received my erector set for Christmas at eight years old and tried to attach the little metal things together with a hammer. Later that night, we went to find and repair the broken bulldozer.

We arrived at the wood mill about two o'clock in the morning and there it was, a giant foreboding monster of a device, a mechanical Godzilla towering over a mountain of hardwood logs. My job was to pass tools. I watched in awe as my brother and cousin dismantled the giant machine. I saw tracks, blades, and engine parts, pieces of steel falling rapidly to the ground. Like the skilled hands of highly trained surgeon, they quickly did their work on the metal giant. Like an old western movie, the quiet of the hot summer evening was broken by the sound of air guns a blazing!

Out of the distance, I saw it … the flashing red light, the car racing up the drive way and a terrifying voice that said, "Show me Your Hands Fellas". It was the police. Next I heard " Up against the Wall". My brother and cousin reached for the sky. I stood like a deer in the headlights. With a shaking voice, I spoke: "Officer we are authorized to be here, we are repairing this Bulldozer, just ask my brother, ask my cousin". My brother replied "I aint saying Nothing without my Lawyer". My cousin replied, " Well if he isn't saying anything then I sure am not going to either".   That was it, I was the helpless victim here, and yet I was now a criminal! What would my mother think, what would my priest say - Oh the injustice of it all!   I was sure my life was over, that I was going to jail; all of my hopes, dreams, and aspirations had just become one giant pile of bulldozer parts.

A few minutes later an elderly lady appeared with a cane and a very large dog. She said, "What is the problem officer". The policeman replied: "These fella's were trying to steal this bulldozer". Oh she said, "You are mistaken". My son owns this mill and he called them to fix his broken bulldozer.   The police officer took off the handcuffs and said: "Go back to work guys"

After the car pulled away my brother started laughing hysterically. "Boy did I have you going, I got you good, and you should have seen your face, OH YES". In that moment I realized - my brother was the master and I a mere Squire!

Subject: RE: BS: Surreal Practical Jokes?
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Oct 10 - 02:18 PM

It was around midnight and I was out with friends, just fooling around, nothing special. We stopped for gas and I went over to the pay phone on the street corner and called my mother (which I never did when I was out).

"Mom, hi. I'll be home in a bit. I just wanted to let you know."
"Why...is anything wrong?" (I said I never called.)
"No, and hey, I gotta run. Listen, do me a favor: if the cops call, tell them that we went to the drag races, okay? Thanks." Click.

Two hours later, when I did get home, she was still up....

Subject: RE: BS: Surreal Practical Jokes?
From: Doug Chadwick
Date: 14 Oct 10 - 02:53 PM

Getting back to the surreal instead of the just plane practical ................

Sneak into a convent and leave the toilet seats up.


DC

Subject: RE: BS: Surreal Practical Jokes?
From: dick greenhaus
Date: 14 Oct 10 - 03:40 PM

I suspect that the classic example was set by a Columbia fraternity back in the 1920's. A cop spotted an inebriated student lugging a Central park bench, and brought him in for questioning. Seems that he had a bill of sale for the bench, and was released. About a half-hour later another tipsy student was arrested for stealing a park bench---same routine. He showe the bill of sale, and was released. Another half hour, and a third student was spotted with a park bench. By then the cops caught on, and were instructed to ignore him.
Next morning, it turned out that every damn bench in Central Park had been stolen.

Subject: RE: BS: Surreal Practical Jokes?
From: Ed T
Date: 14 Oct 10 - 04:01 PM

When you see a sign that reads "KIDSEATFREE" go in and ask for your free kid seat.

Subject: RE: BS: Surreal Practical Jokes?
From: Ed T
Date: 14 Oct 10 - 04:04 PM

Go into an all you can eat buffet, and ask for a discount after you eat, because you are on a diet that does not allow you to eat all you can.

Subject: RE: BS: Surreal Practical Jokes?
From: Ed T
Date: 14 Oct 10 - 04:10 PM

Call an escort service in the morning and ask if they have an "early bird special"

Call an escort service and ask if they have a "frequent fucker" discount club.

Subject: RE: BS: Surreal Practical Jokes?
From: gnu
Date: 14 Oct 10 - 04:30 PM

I put a doorbell on my old camp. It was 20km from the nearest power pole. Great fun watching people press the doorbell.

I wonder if I can find that old thread on this subject.

Subject: RE: BS: Surreal Practical Jokes?
From: Bainbo
Date: 14 Oct 10 - 05:09 PM

Back in 1930s Britain, at the pinnacle of the comedy world were The Crazy Gang, one of whose members, "Monsewer" Eddie Gray, was known for his practical jokes.

Probably his best-known involved him shouting into the slot of a pillar box (post box) phrases such as "Well, how did you get in there?"; "Can't you open the door?"; "Not from the inside - I see..."

As a crowd gathered, he would tell the (non-existent) victim that he was going for help, and then ask the onlookers to keep on issuing reassurances hrough the slot.

Subject: RE: BS: Surreal Practical Jokes?
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 14 Oct 10 - 06:28 PM

A guy I know used to go to the Wal*Mart and sneak up to old ladies' shopping carts and slip packs of condoms under the produce.

Subject: RE: BS: Surreal Practical Jokes?
From: Ed T
Date: 14 Oct 10 - 06:49 PM

"A guy I know used to go to the Wal*Mart and sneak up to old ladies' shopping carts and slip packs of condoms under the produce".
I knew a guy who used to plant mild porno magazines, among the others in his prude Doctors office.

Subject: RE: BS: Surreal Practical Jokes?
From: Ed T
Date: 14 Oct 10 - 06:50 PM

How about turning towards the folks in a crowded elevator and giving a presentation on Amway.

Subject: RE: BS: Surreal Practical Jokes?
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 14 Oct 10 - 07:04 PM

I was driving through the town of Dresser, Wisconsin. I said to my wife, "Did you know the mayor of Dresser, Wisconsin is named Chester Drawers?"

She said, "How did you know that?"

I very rarely pull off jokes like that, which is why she didn't suspect anything.

*
We frequently drive on Highway 61, which follows the Mississippi River, and we pass by several dams along the way. When a dam comes into sight, the driver says "Dam!" This only works if the passenger hasn't been paying attention to the scenery, and if you get the tone of voice exactly right, so it sounds like you're saying, "Damn!" If you pull it off perfectly, the passenger will look up and say, "What's wrong?" Then you point at the dam and repeat, "Dam!"

My wife and I have both fooled each other with this same joke, on different trips, of course.

Subject: RE: BS: Surreal Practical Jokes?
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 14 Oct 10 - 07:22 PM

I used to have an LP "20,000 hamburgers to go" - a radio announcer would ring up various unsuspecting businesses...

A hotel: My name is Mr Kent - did you find a suit and tie in the lobby phone booth last night?

and so on....

20,000 hamburgers - I'm from a scout troup having a jamboree locally, and we need some lunches - can you hold the mayo on 5,000, no pickle on 5,000, no pickle or mayo on 1275 ....

Subject: RE: BS: Surreal Practical Jokes?
From: Bill D
Date: 14 Oct 10 - 07:27 PM

Some of those are far from 'surreal'...if anyone actually falls for one, it could be a serious problem.

They need to not hurt, cost or seriously embarrass anyone...just bewilder.

Subject: RE: BS: Surreal Practical Jokes?
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 14 Oct 10 - 07:33 PM

Uni prank - the top half of a sedan - on a raft - painted and with flashing lights to look like a police car, floating down the river ....

Once, the Qld Uni guys set up on a traffic island in a roundabout, complete sandy desert island, complete with beach chair, palm tree and sunbaking person ....

Best though was walking across the Qld Uni quadrangle, looking up at the tower clock to see that someone had placed a mickey mouse poster, and fitted white gloved hands.... took security 2 days to figure out how to get it down - I know of the guys who rappelled down to put it there... :)

Subject: RE: BS: Surreal Practical Jokes?
From: Dave MacKenzie
Date: 14 Oct 10 - 07:45 PM

I used to work in an office where the floor was cleared for the annual Christmas party. Phones were usually put in a locked 4-drawer. After the party, the office was restored to normal, except the clusters of phones had the handsets replaced at random. Never did get round to lobsters.

Subject: RE: BS: Surreal Practical Jokes?
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Oct 10 - 07:47 PM

Check out the "hacks" done at MIT.

Friends and I once celebrated Beethoven's birthday (December 16) in the Student Union at lunch. We ordered the "luncheon" from the Union, and brought in a large birthday cake. We got the entire group in the Union (perhaps a hundred people) to join us in singing "Happy Birthday" and, of course, we shared the cake after someone labeled "Ludwig v. B" blew out the candles.

On another occasion we found a submerged sandbar in the Mississippi River, about 100 yards long and 50 wide. The water over it was about 40 inches deep -- roughly waist-high. So that weekend we set up a volleyball game in the middle of the Mississippi, much to the shock and bemusement of recreational boaters.

Subject: RE: BS: Surreal Practical Jokes?
From: LadyJean
Date: 14 Oct 10 - 07:55 PM

Two friends of mine were getting married. I found a plastic goose that honked when it detected movement, turned it on, wrapped it up, and slipped it in with the rest of the wedding presents.

Alas I was not there, when they unwrapped their gifts and found that one of their presents was honking at them while they unwrapped it. But I gather they were rather more than nonplussed.

My mom would have killed me if I'd pulled that prank with the police!

Subject: RE: BS: Surreal Practical Jokes?
From: Wesley S
Date: 14 Oct 10 - 08:16 PM

I heard of some enginering students that got into a students dorm room while he was away for the weekend. They took all of the furniture and bolted it upside down on the ceiling. They even took off the light fixture and installed it on the floor. So the student came back to a room that was upside down.

Subject: RE: BS: Surreal Practical Jokes?
From: Black belt caterpillar wrestler
Date: 15 Oct 10 - 07:55 AM

My father was seconded to the Turkish army at the end of WW2 to instruct them in using Radar (surreal in itself in that he spent the remainder of his working career as an art teacher).

Once when strolling about in the streets of Istambul he stopped and looked up into the sky as if staring at something. After a couple of minutes someone else noticed and tried to work out what he was looking at without asking him. More passers by joined in. After a few more minutes he walked away leaving a small crowd staring at the sky. 20 minutes later he came back and found the crowd still there. When he asked what they were looking at there were all sorts of strange invented answers.

Subject: RE: BS: Surreal Practical Jokes?
From: Black belt caterpillar wrestler
Date: 15 Oct 10 - 08:00 AM

And another one from my Great-Uncle Phil Tyrer who was a clipper ship captain, sailing out of Liverpool.

On one of his voyages he decided to play a trick on his crew who had been giving him a hard time.

I made the story into this song.

THE CAPTAIN'S RAZOR
Robin Madge © 1999

The voyage had been long and the voyage had been hard
The crew they were an idle lot, the dregs of the dockyard,
But the captain was a joker with some tricks up his sleeve.
He called them all together his plan to achieve.
"Well", said the Captain, "We'll soon be home from sea,
And I have a pretty girl waiting there for me.
I've learnt from experience, if I want her to behave,
Before I get back home to port I'm going to have to shave."

Ch: "Now", said the Captain, "don't you see,
Won't we be the handsome ones when we come home from sea ?
Cleanly shaven, we'll all look grand.
The girls will flock around us when we reach land."

"Now here I have my razor, it's the only one on board,
I've a mind to share it with you but this idea is flawed
The last to use the razor find it awful dull
He might as well use barnacles scraped from off the hull."
"But now I have a better plan, we form up in a row
The first man shaves off half his face his silken skin to show.
We pass the razor down the line each shaving half his mane,
Then pass it back along again and do it all again."

"Now this way," says the Captain, "we all shall have a time
With the razor when it's sharpest and when it's not so fine,
But seeing as the razor's mine I want to be in place
To be the one who's first to shave his whole beard from his face."
The crew they all agreed to this and formed up in a line,
Each one shaved off half his beard, the razor still cut fine.
They looked a proper picture then, each one partly sheared
The captain had the razor back and shaved off all his beard

"Well now my lads I've got you, and I think you'll all agree
For being such an idle lot I've paid you back, you see.
I am now clean shaven, you're a half shorn horde."
With that he took the razor and he tossed it overboard.
The Captain laughed aloud when they realised his fun.
"Now when we get to port, my boys, and all your work is done.
I'll go and buy a razor so the sooner you behave
And finish all your work on board the sooner you can shave."

Subject: RE: BS: Surreal Practical Jokes?
From: Bettynh
Date: 15 Oct 10 - 12:00 PM

MIT hacks

Subject: RE: BS: Surreal Practical Jokes?
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Oct 10 - 12:35 PM

Living near Yellowstone and Grand Tetons National Parks, we are often visitors to one or both. Many times we run into "animal jams" -- clots of tourists parked along the road to view (from a distance) elk, bison, bears, and so on. Rangers are often dispatched to control traffic and to stop tourists from risking their lives by approaching the animals too closely.

Last Fall my brother was visiting and we decided to stop, whip out the binoculars and camera, and stare and point at a field empty of animals. We wanted to see how many other people would also stop. If asked by a ranger we were going to answer, "That's the finest specimen of Populus tremuloides we've ever seen!" (If you don't want to look it up, that's the Latin name for an aspen tree.) If asked by tourists we were going to say, "It just moved behind those bushes!"

Subject: RE: BS: Surreal Practical Jokes?
From: Bill D
Date: 15 Oct 10 - 12:45 PM

Mickey Mouse! You reminded me...

Here is someone else's prank that impacted me....first, look at this pic...Morrison Hall, Wichita State Univ

see the clock tower?Note the colors!... (it has 4 faces..can be seen from all over campus). In the mid to late 1960s, that clock was white, with black hands. Some art students found it irreistable, and one morning, all 4 faces were noticed to have Mickey Mouse painted on them!..well, after a few days, it was re-painted....but several months later, it happened again, and again was duly re-painted...When it happened a third time the next year, meetings were held...(Morrison Hall was becoming known as Mickey Mouse Hall)

So..it was decided to paint the face black, and the hands white, making it VERY hard to paint a visable mouse on it.
...BUT..it also made the hands, which were lit at night by curved neon lights mounted around the edge, hard to see at night...so..the electricians were asked to re-mount the neon lights down INSIDE the inset clock faces, where they would illuminate the hands better...

Now, at this time I was working at building & grounds as a student assistant in the carpentry dept....and my boss came up to me and my buddy, Dwain, who also worked there. Boss was grinning...it seems the new location of the clock hands was a problem...the minute hand would now not clear the neon tubes! WHAT to DO!??..the answer was..my buddy & I got to go up the inside of that tower..out onto the roof, bearing a BIG pair of bolt cutters...and circumcise all 4 minute hands! Took off about 3"...and for years I kept those aluminum hand tips in my dresser. Ah, memories!!

Subject: RE: BS: Surreal Practical Jokes?
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Oct 10 - 02:38 PM

Knowing universities, they should have painted a White Knight on it.

Subject: RE: BS: Surreal Practical Jokes?
From: jonm
Date: 15 Oct 10 - 06:07 PM

Phone a department store. When they reply e.g. "Debenhams, can I help you?" answer "No thank you, I'm only browsing."

Subject: RE: BS: Surreal Practical Jokes?
From: LadyJean
Date: 16 Oct 10 - 12:36 AM

I spent two years at Transylvania College. Their Alma Mater, "Hail Transylvania" is set to one of the themes from the 1812 Overture. It's kind of fun, at the Fourth of July Concert, to stand when the theme is played, and sing "Hail Transylvania, Thy sons are we. Our hearts in loyal love we pledge to thee. True to they crimson flag, through all our days. Hail Transylvania we sing thy praise." It's especially fun if you sing it with an accent.

Subject: RE: BS: Surreal Practical Jokes?
From: Slag
Date: 16 Oct 10 - 03:27 AM

When I was in the Air Force I went car shopping with a buddy of mine. Things were going along swimmingly and we wound up in a bank at some point. He was there to cash a check but he hunkered over the little desk stand, turned his ball cap and around and appeared to be struggling with his writing. Finally he looks up at me and says in a loud clear voice "Hey Tom! do you spell stick-up with one "k" or two?" I think my gut-busting laugh was the only thing that saved him from arrest!

I read once where Alfred Hitchcock and a friend once got on and elevator and rode in silence to the lobby of a tall hotel. Not a soul said a word or acknowledged that the "Great" Alfred Hicthcock was among them. As the doors slid open Alfred says in a familiar voice "really Leonard, I didn't know the gun was loaded" and with that they walked away.

Wait, there's more! My wife and I took a cue from Alfred. We only did this a couple of times but it was interesting and fun. We cooked up a couple of stories about lurid outlandish events that never actually happened. Then we went out to dinner and proceeded to discuss these events! After about five minutes we noticed that most of the people around us were not talking to each other but straining to hear what we were saying. Hey! A cheap evening's entertainment for all concerned.

As I said, we only did this a couple of times and one of the times it was an off-duty police officer listening. He came over and asked us to clarify a couple of points, which we did. Still, he wasn't very amused.

Try it some time! And if you aren't real original (but I'm sure you all must be, here at mon muddy chat, take it from a book and make it your own! Jist don't go and git yerselves arrested.

Subject: RE: BS: Surreal Practical Jokes?
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Oct 10 - 09:54 AM

At a party, introduce yourself as Pope Benedict XVI. Tell them that you're incognito, trying to ascertain the feelings of "the lower classes."

A friend and I once attended a meeting and she parked in a handicapped slot -- legitimately. One of the company's salesmen, who we both knew, came across the lot and asked why we were parking in a handicapped spot. I replied, "Because we use your product."

Explain why you can't be Richard Nixon, as you think you are.

Subject: RE: BS: Surreal Practical Jokes?
From: Bill D
Date: 16 Oct 10 - 10:37 AM

Many years ago, there was to be full eclipse of the Sun visible in Kansas. Two crazy friends of mine read that one of the ways to safely view it was thru a couple layers of exposed black & while film, so the went to the drug store to buy some.
   Having picked the cheapest one there, they headed to the checkout. As they approached, one said to the other, "Jim...are you sure this is what we want?"
   "I think so," replied Jim.
"Maybe we better double check," said Dwain.
   "Yeah, good idea!"
Whereupon, Jim opened the end of the box, popped the cap from the little container, pulled the film out and and unrolled it full length and held it up toward the ceiling while they studied it for a moment.
"Yeah, that looks right", Dwain said....and they rolled it up, put it back in the box, and paid for it and left, leaving the cashier and a couple bystanders just staring.

Subject: RE: BS: Surreal Practical Jokes?
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Oct 10 - 12:23 PM

We used to do that with reel-to-reel video tape, looking at it like we were examining a movie film frame by frame.

Subject: RE: BS: Surreal Practical Jokes?
From: MudGuard
Date: 16 Oct 10 - 03:59 PM

When in France, go to the Hotel de Ville (this is a chain that has a house in almost any French village ;-)) and insist you have a booking for a double room there ...


With a handful of friends:
Pick a phone number from the directory.
First friend calls - if there is an answer, he asks for the son named "Christian" (pick some name ...) and leave a message for that son, even if the called person insists they don't have a son named Christian.
A few minutes later, second friend calls the same number, also asking for Christian and leaving a message for him.
Some more minutes later the next one calls the same number - go on till only the last friend has not called.
At this point the called person will get quite angry when asked whether Christian is at home.
Now the last of the friend goes in for the kill:
When he calls the number and is answered, he says:
Hi Mom *), Christian here - has any of my friends left a messages for me?

*) or Dad, depending on the sex of the called person.

Subject: RE: BS: Surreal Practical Jokes?
From: Nick
Date: 16 Oct 10 - 04:28 PM

Just arrange for three pink elephants to enter a bar through the window.

Subject: RE: BS: Surreal Practical Jokes?
From: gnu
Date: 16 Oct 10 - 04:42 PM

Good one Mud... take it to City Hall.

Subject: RE: BS: Surreal Practical Jokes?
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Oct 10 - 12:49 PM

Go to a restaurant and tell them you don't like the vintage of the water. Use wine tasting terms: the nose isn't what you expected, there's too much tannin, the grapes were picked too early, and so on. Explain that you'll drink it, but to please tell the sommelier that you're disappointed in their cellar.