Song Challenge! 2.0 - Fit 11

Subject: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 11
From: mousethief
Date: 23 Oct 10 - 03:44 PM

SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 11

Time once again to sharpen your Qwerty and write songs for the all-new Song Challenge! 2.0. And here's today's story:

It's a Jungle Out There: Thieves in Chicken and Gorilla Suits Steal Bike

(Oct. 12) – A Long Island, N.Y., teenager's bike was stolen by two gorillas and a chicken. The Associated Press reports that the young man was riding along Route 25A early Monday afternoon when three people dressed in animal costumes approached him.

These weren't folks out for an early trick-or-treat.

Suffolk County police confirm that one of the ape-suited crooks slugged the kid in the head, knocking him off the bike. The chicken bandit then rode off on the bike while the two apes ran away.

----------------------------
Okay, is that weird enough? Have at it Challengees!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 11
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 24 Oct 10 - 02:59 AM

In the style of Chuck Berry... Ridin' along in my automobile.

Ridin' along on by wonderful bike,
Is one of those things I really like.
But out on Long Island New York today,
I had my transport taken away.

Two apes and a chicken passed my way,
They were quite large I have to say.
One ape then hit me on the head,
And left me lying there for dead.

I guess my injuries weren't too bad,
But to lose my bike makes me so sad.
The cops just don't know what to do,
Methinks they're searching the farms and zoo!!!!!!



Not an easy subject to put to song..................

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 11
From: Amos
Date: 24 Oct 10 - 10:36 AM

I bet those guys were working for Chongo. Coupla them East Side gorillas picking up extra pocket change on the side.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 11
From: Flash Company
Date: 24 Oct 10 - 10:43 AM

Shades of Tommy Handley enter my brain!

Chuck-chuck-chuck-chuck I've just had a chicken,
Come and pinch my bike,
Chuck-chuck-chuck-chuck, rode off like the dickens
Now I've got to hike,
To be mugged by two apes would be bad enough,
But whatever can you say,
When you see chuck-chuck-chuck-chuck, a bloody great big chicken
Ride your favorite mountain bike away!

FC

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 11
From: Flash Company
Date: 24 Oct 10 - 10:51 AM

Miscounted the Chucks there, to fit the original tune of 'Have you seen my chickens?' they should come in batches of eight!

FC

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 11
From: mousethief
Date: 25 Oct 10 - 12:16 AM

Brand New Bike
(with apologies to Melanie Safka)

I rode my bicycle through the park Monday last
Don't ride too slow, and I don't ride too fast
I saw a rustling in the brush ahead of me
I slowed way down to see what I could see

Chorus
Oh I saw an angry pair of roving apes
Jump from the brush at me
I thought that I could get away
But a chicken swung at me
I fell off of my bike and then
The chicken rode it away
Oh I saw an angry pair of roving apes
They stole my bike that day

I sat there bruised and didn't know what to do
Would cops believe me or think I was a screw?
It almost seems I should just give up and hike
But that damned chicken stole my g-- d---ed new bike

(repeat chorus)

I brushed my clothes off and I swallowed my pride
Hoping the cops wouldn't think that I lied
I told my tale and they clucked their tongues at me
If I catch that bird it will be fricasseed

(repeat chorus)

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 11
From: GUEST,Grishka
Date: 25 Oct 10 - 07:51 AM

mousethief, in spite of your tight schedule, you obviously couldn't resist earning the Golden Bicycle Bell, which I have the privilege to hand over to you in the name of the Lurkers' Society.

Best wishes for your daughter's wedding, may all pestering mice be stolen from her and her husband. Having read your contribution, we are confidently looking forward to the CHALLENGE being back to normal by the end of the week.

Have a good time!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 11
From: GUEST,Neil D
Date: 25 Oct 10 - 09:30 AM

With apologies to the late Syd Barrett

I had a bike, you could ride it if you like
It had a basket, a bell that rings and things
to make it look good
I'd give it to you if I could, but a chicken stole it

You're the kind of gorillas that won't fit into my world
I'll give you anything, everything just don't kill me

It grabbed me by the nape while a damn dirty ape
Hit me on the head, and knocked me down and ground
me into the black top
Why can you never find a cop, when you really need one


You're the kind of gorillas that won't fit into my world
I'll give you anything, everything just don't kill me

Now I got a bump, a rather nasty lump
Concussion, contusions that really really
make my head ache
Oh for heaven's sake, I think I'm going to throw up

You're the kind of gorillas that won't fit into my world
I'll give you anything, everything just don't kill me

If I should decide to take another ride
I'll make that run with my shotgun
loaded up with birdshot
Guess who's going in the pot, that's right, that chicken

You're the kind of gorillas that won't fit into my world
I'll give you anything, everything just don't kill me

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 11
From: Trapper
Date: 25 Oct 10 - 02:19 PM

This song is NOT to be confused with "GHOST CHICKENS IN THE SKY", which you may have heard at youth camp...

- Trapper

BROAST ROBBERS
Tune: Ghost Riders in the Sky by Stan Jones
New Lyrics: Trapper (Al Boyce) 10/25/2010


A paper boy went bicycling one dark and windy day
His trusty Schwinn he pedaled as he went upon his way
When all at once a six foot bird with wattles and a comb
Came strutting on the sidewalk - to block his route to home

Cock-a-doodle doooo... (etc - rooster sounds)
Broast Robber strutting by!


He spun a cookie quickly, and turned his bike around
His back wheel shot out gravel as it dug into the ground
Dismayed he was as he pumped hard to retreat from the bird
He saw two apes had blocked his path - and this is what he heard:

OOO-oooh AAAH AHH Ahh AHH AHH (etc - monkey sounds)
Monkey Biz blocked my ride!


He tried to ride on by them, but one slugged him in the head
He flew from off his bicycle, and lay there as though dead
The other grabbed his trusty Schwinn, and the capon strutted near
With his chicken legs he straddled, the bike he commandeered!

Cock-a-doodle doooo... (etc - rooster sounds)
Broast Robber biking by!


The monkeys scattered northward and the chicken made tracks south
They left the paperboy there, bikeless, with a swollen mouth
There is no rhyme or reason, no moral for to tell
Unless, if chased by chickens... or apes, then bike like hell!

Cock-a-doodle doooo...
OOO-oooh AAAH AHH Ahh AHH...
Broast Robber biking by!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 11
From: mousethief
Date: 25 Oct 10 - 07:44 PM

Well done! A psychedelic Silver BLOB to Neil D for the rhetorical:
Hit me on the head, and knocked me down and ground
me into the black top
Why can you never find a cop, when you really need one

And a ghostly BLOB to Trapper (Al Boyce) for the eerie:
When all at once a six foot bird with wattles and a comb
Came strutting on the sidewalk - to block his route to home

Keep up the good work, Challengees!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 11
From: MMario
Date: 26 Oct 10 - 09:33 AM

Honest, Officer
What I tell you is true
You think I'm crazy
I'm not, I'm telling you

Two gorillas and a chicken
it was that gave me a lickin'
Then gorillas beat feet
while the hen took a seat
and rode off on my bicycle too!

(tune - more or less Bicycle built for two)

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 11
From: Amos
Date: 26 Oct 10 - 11:32 AM

The Chicken, and Gun the Gorilla, and Me

I was lying around in the Westchester zoo
With the other gorillas, with not much to do
When a teenage gorilla the others called Gun
Came up and asked if I wanted some fun
Well the Zoo, it was boring, and I had me no mate,
And there's nothing to do there if you're staying up late
Gun sounded excited, Gun sounded like fun,
So I said I would join him on a getaway run.

CHO: Oh, that night on the run,
Oh, that night on the run!
We went up on the east side and down on the west
For wild nights on foot, this sure was the best,
Oh, that night on the run.

Well we distracted the warden and made our escape
We flew over the guard wall and climbed over the gate
And the next thing ya know, with the moon sstill half-down
We're running the highway that leads into town.
Well we galloped along, just smelling the breeze
Two wild-ass gorillas, as bare as you please,
Past farm yards and barn yards and dogs in their pen,
We were zoned out on freedom, and guess what happened then!


CHO.

We stopped for a breather, as the evening was hot
Outside of a bar in a big parking lot,
We'd have gone for a brew, but we hadn't no dough,
And they don't give free beer to gorillas, you know.
So we idled around, in the cool evening air
Just glad to be out, without much of a care,
When a big bird walked up looking sassy and cute,
Some guy from a ball team, in a big chicken suit!

CHO.

Well we three got to talking, and he was purdy impressed
That his two new companions had escaped from the rest,
He sprang for a twelve-pack and we sat on the ground
Just knocking back Coorses and passing them around.
His name was Chinchester, or that's what he said
And he was sick of the view from that big chicken head,
But he'd taken the role on a cheerleading squad
Just to pay for the rent while he got right with God.

CHO.

We were all getting snookered, from drinking that beer
And Gun the Gorilla, he spoke out, "Look here,
You can't get right with God while you're dressed like a bird
It's purely unnacherl and completely absurd!"
And Chinch, he allowed as my pal Gun was right,
He would quit the damn cheerleaders, that very night!
He would go to a center he knew in Duluth
And sign up as a monk, and foreswear his wild youth.

He would give up his drinking, and swearing and hype,
And hanging out in strange places with bestial types
He'd confess all his sins, and turn honest and nice
And take up the vows of a brother-in-Christ.
Well this notion made Chinc a revitalized man,
And he said, "Let's get down there as fast as we can"
But we didn't have a license, being simian, you see
And we hadn't no wheels for a long highway spree.

We sat and we pondered, and tried to connive
But Chinch, he confessed he didn't know how to drive,
And Duluth was a long way down that highway of dreams,
And then Gun the Gorilla came up with a scheme.
He said "Boys, every morning on the side roads around,
There's newsboys on bikes crossing all over town!
We'll grab as a newsie and his bike we will steal,
And send Chinch to glory on a new set of wheels!"

Well, we found us nearby suburban milieu
And a newsboy on duty soon came rolling through
And Chinch in his outfit, and us in our fur
Jumped out of the bushes and made quite a stir.
Well Gun hit him once, and he dropped like a stone
And we helped Chinch climb up on that bike all alone,
And we sent him off wheeling even though he was drunk,
Toward Duluth, and God, and the life of a monk.

So then Gun the Gorilla and me, we made tracks,
'Cuz the sun was arising, and we had to get back,
And we loped up the highway, and at six twenty-two,
We climbed over the entrance gate back at the zoo.
We sneaked back to our cave, with our heads all abuzz
And curled up in our sleeping spots just as we was,
But I'll never forget that wild midnight spree,
With the Chicken, and Gun the Gorilla, and me.

CHO.


Oh, that night on the run,
Oh, that night on the run!
We went up on the east side and down on the west
For wild nights on foot, this sure was the best,
Oh, that night on the run.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 11
From: Trapper
Date: 26 Oct 10 - 12:00 PM

LOL Amos! What an Epic! And MMario - great mModel for brevity!

- Al

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 11
From: mousethief
Date: 26 Oct 10 - 12:03 PM

A motive emerges! And Silver Blob emerges! A hilarious one for Amos, and the sad-but-true:
We'd have gone for a brew, but we hadn't no dough,
And they don't give free beer to gorillas, you know.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 11
From: mousethief
Date: 26 Oct 10 - 02:59 PM

Ack! I forgot to give MMario his Silver BLOB. A Gibson Girl BLOB to MMario for the tear-jerking:
Then gorillas beat feet
while the hen took a seat
and rode off on my bicycle too!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 11
From: Trapper
Date: 26 Oct 10 - 03:29 PM

Geez Mousethief, don't you have a WEDDING to go to or something?? ;-D

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 11
From: mousethief
Date: 26 Oct 10 - 06:44 PM

In just under an hour, yes.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 11
From: Matthew Edwards
Date: 27 Oct 10 - 02:44 AM

I hope the wedding went well, and I'm sure all Challengees, both regular and irregular, as well as members of the Lurker's Society, will wish the new couple every happiness for the future. In a rare display of good taste the Challengees have restrained themselves from composing an epithalamium on "Mousethief's Daughter's Wedding", but I am sure Challengees will soon revert to their usual lyrical celebrations of the worst excesses of human and animal behaviours.

There are some excellent examples above, but after all these years I'm grateful to have discovered not just one, but two, answers to the age-old question:- "Why did the chicken cross the road?"

1) To steal a bicycle
2) To join a band of urban guerrillas gorillas

Matthew

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 11
From: mousethief
Date: 29 Oct 10 - 12:48 AM

The wedding was a living Hell but now it's over. The bride was ... um ... challenging. But now she's married and can send out hand-written thank-you notes and apologies. Worst excesses of human behaviours, indeed! I could easily whip up a brief article on the wedding and the run-up to it, and set it as next week's challenge. But I shan't because I'm a loyal dad.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 11
From: GUEST,Ceto
Date: 29 Oct 10 - 07:31 AM

The wedding was a living Hell
but now, thank God, it's over.
The bride was not resolved that well,
we almost had to shove her.

The bride, she was, um, challenging,
indulging in excesses,
but now she wears the golden ring
and must clean up the messes.

Some juicy details I could add
for taunting vers'fication,
but then, I am a loyal dad,
resisting the temptation ...

(as opposed to myself: I must now send out a hand-typed note of apology. Of course I don't compete for the Golden Wedding Bell or whatever.)

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 11
From: GUEST,Ceto
Date: 29 Oct 10 - 10:54 AM

Back to the topic. I know a tune for the following, in Country style, but I just don't recall the original title. Who can help?

Chick 'n' run

There was a modest country chick
accustomed for to hike,
but one day she devised a trick
to get herself a bike.
She hired two gorillas
to knock the owner down.
Imagine then her thrill, as
she rode right out of town.

Now when the owner boy awoke,
the cops were on the street.
But be'ng still dizzy from the stroke,
he only could repeat:
"A chick 'n' two gorillas
just robbed that bike from me."
The protocol they'd fill as
we read it on AP.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 11
From: Trapper
Date: 29 Oct 10 - 11:20 AM

Ceto - probably not what you were thinking of, but your song fits the meter of "The Chandler's Wife" pretty well ... with out the [KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK]'s...

- Al

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 11
From: mousethief
Date: 30 Oct 10 - 04:31 PM

Ceto since that's kinda off-topic I'm going to award you a Silver Engraved Apology Award rather than the Silver BLOB for the tongue-in-cheeky:

Some juicy details I could add
for taunting vers'fication,
but then, I am a loyal dad,
resisting the temptation ...

And a Silver BLOB for the delightful rhyme of gorillas and thrill as.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 11
From: Matthew Edwards
Date: 30 Oct 10 - 05:13 PM

Welcome back Ceto, and also a belated welcome to Trapper who is composing songs faster than anybody can set topics - soon he'll be answering Song Challenges before they have been set!

Good to see more from Flash Company, and all the Usual Suspects.

Chicken on a Bike

Cycling Long Island in Suffolk County,
Hey yo! Chicken on a bike!
Pair of gorillas made a monkey of me,
Hey yo! Chicken on a bike!
Great big chicken egging them on,
Hey yo! Chicken on a bike!
When I looked up they'd legged it and gone.
Hey yo! Chicken on a bike!

Chicken on a bike on a Monday morning,
Oh what a terrible sight to see;
Lying in the gutter, dusting my hat,
Pickin' at a lickin' from a chicken on a bike!
Hi yo! Chicken on a bike!
Hey yo! Chicken on a bike!
Hi yo! Chicken on a bike!
Hey yo! Chicken on a bike!

I woke up, and found I wasn't dead,
Hey yo! Chicken on a bike!
Great big bruise on top of my head.
Hey yo! Chicken on a bike!!
Thought I'd been hit by a killer driller,
Hey yo! Chicken on a bike!
Only the victim of an urban guerilla.
Hey yo! Chicken on a bike!

Chicken on a bike on a Monday morning,
Oh what a terrible sight to see;
Lying in the gutter, dusting my hat,
Pickin' at a lickin' from a chicken on a bike!
Hi yo! Chicken on a bike!
Hey yo! Chicken on a bike!
Hi yo! Chicken on a bike!
Hey yo! Chicken on a bike!

Lost my bike to a threesome of sorts,
Hey yo! Chicken on a bike!
The county police took my reports ,
Hey yo! Chicken on a bike!
Copper thinks I'm pulling his leg,
Hey yo! Chicken on a bike!
Asked me "Who came first; chicken or the egg?"
Hey yo! Chicken on a bike!

Chicken on a bike on a Monday morning,
Oh what a terrible sight to see;
Lying in the gutter, dusting my hat,
Pickin' at a lickin' from a chicken on a bike!
Hi yo! Chicken on a bike!
Hey yo! Chicken on a bike!
Hi yo! Chicken on a bike!
Hey yo! Chicken on a bike!

They issued an APB based on what I had said,
Hey yo! Chicken on a bike!
They arrested King Kong and a Rhode Island Red.
Hey yo! Chicken on a bike!
Ain't gonna ride a bike any more,
Hey yo! Chicken on a bike!
Gonna sell chicken legs and monkey nuts on the sea shore!
Hey yo! Chicken on a bike!

Chicken on a bike on a Monday morning,
Oh what a terrible sight to see;
Lying in the gutter, dusting my hat,
Pickin' at a lickin' from a chicken on a bike!
Hi yo! Chicken on a bike!
Hey yo! Chicken on a bike!
Hi yo! Chicken on a bike!
Hey yo! Chicken on a bike!

(With apologies, and deep gratitude to Cyril Tawney for inspiration, and also to Pete Bellamy; both of fond memory)

Matthew Edwards

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 11
From: mousethief
Date: 31 Oct 10 - 12:18 PM

A nautical BLOB to Matthew Edwards for the gutteral:
Lying in the gutter, dusting my hat,
Pickin' at a lickin' from a chicken on a bike!

Very nice!

(What's the melody?)

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 11
From: Matthew Edwards
Date: 31 Oct 10 - 01:12 PM

What's the melody?

You can listen to a recording of The Young Tradition (Peter Bellamy, Heather Wood and Royston Wood) singing 'Chicken on a Raft' on YouTube:- click here to listen. The song was composed by Cyril Tawney, and the lyrics are here in the DT database.

Matthew

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 11
From: mousethief
Date: 02 Nov 10 - 07:02 PM

Time for some well-deserved Golden Cow Chips!

The Golden Cow Chip Award with Harp Ribbon (for making the Judges fall on the floor laughing OR make them short out their keyboard with tears) is hereby awarded to:

• Georgiansilver for "Ridin' along on my wonderful bike"
• Flash Company for "Chuck-chuck-chuck-chuck"
• Amos for "The Chicken, Gun the Gorilla, and Me"
• Ceto for "Chick 'n' Run"
• Matthew Edwards for "Chicken on a Bike"

The Golden Cow Chip Award with with Mt. Rainier Medallion (for closely and hilariously following the pattern of its original) is hereby awarded to:

• MMario for "Honest, Officer" (or "Bicycle Built for Chicken")
• Trapper for "Broast Robbers"

The Golden Cow Chip Award with Memorial MMario Silverplated Spittoon (for evoking an instantaneous bubbling up of frothy mirth from out of the lips of the Judges and onto their monitor screen) is hereby awarded to:

• Neil D for "(I had a) Bike"

Great work, Challengees! I think this is the most entries we've had so far in Challenge! 2.0. Come join us for Fit 12.