Song Challenge! 2.0 - Fit 15

Subject: Song Challenge! 2.0 - Fit 15
From: mousethief
Date: 22 Nov 10 - 10:41 PM

SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 15

Welcome back to another week of musical weirdness! The crowds are thinning some, but we diehards are still hard at work, straining our fingers to the bone to crank out lyrical brilliance for posterity, and one another.

And this week we have yet another strange and wondrous story to write songs about:

Florida dealership offers used-truck buyers AK-47 incentive

SANFORD, Fla. — A central Florida dealership trying to drum up business is offering an unusual perk for potential used-truck buyers: A free AK-47 assault rifle.

General sales manager Nick Ginetta says that since the promotion was announced on Veterans Day, business has more than doubled at Nations Trucks in Sanford.

Customers would have to pass a background check before using the $400 gun shop voucher. They also have the option of using the money toward other firearms, or they can request a check in that amount instead.

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Looking forward to your great submissions!

Subject: RE: Song Challenge! 2.0 - Fit 15
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 23 Nov 10 - 02:24 AM

To the tune of 'Mountain Dew'... good old Irish song.

Well I went to Sanford, Florida,
To buy myself a truck.
And I went to Nick Ginettas place,
Where I had a stroke of luck.
I bought a truck that very same day,
And thought I was in Heaven.
I was given a voucher with my truck,
For an AK47.
Lidlee di dum di de diddle idle dum
Lidlee di diddle um day.

Subject: RE: Song Challenge! 2.0 - Fit 15
From: Matthew Edwards
Date: 23 Nov 10 - 03:39 PM

Good one, Mike! You deserve some sort of High Speed Golden Cow Chip with Go-Faster Stripes for your consistently Rapid Response Rhymes.

Can't think of a song at present, so this little ode will have to suffice for now.

Epitaph for Bambi's Dad

Here lies a buck;
It was killed by a truck.
'Twasn't the truck that sent it to Heaven;
But the driver who carried an AK-47.

Matthew

Subject: RE: Song Challenge! 2.0 - Fit 15
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 24 Nov 10 - 01:41 PM

Come on all you challengees.. where are you?

Subject: RE: Song Challenge! 2.0 - Fit 15
From: mousethief
Date: 24 Nov 10 - 02:34 PM

I Bought the Pickup
(with apologies to Bob Marley)

I bought the pickup
And they threw in a Kalishnikov
I bought the pickup
And they threw in a Kalishnikov

Ginetta's Trucks in my hometown
Is trying to to sell big trucks
I bought a 1996 F210
And I got a commie gun
Yeah, I got a commie gun

And I say
I got a rifle
But I swear it's just for self-defense
I want the rifle
Cos my neighbor throws crap over the fence

My 12 gauge shotgun is a beaut'
And I love my M-16
And when I go out hunting I shoot
My AK at the deer I've seen
My AK at the deer I've seen

And I say
I'm not the sheriff
But the sheriff is a pal of mine
We shoot machine guns
When we've had a nip of home-made wine

I bought a pickup
And I got an AK-47
I bought a pickup
Now I swear I'm in gun-owner heaven

(repeat last chorus)

Subject: RE: Song Challenge! 2.0 - Fit 15
From: mousethief
Date: 25 Nov 10 - 09:26 PM

A matter-of-fact Silver BLOB to Georgiansilver for the nicely tuned:
I bought a truck that very same day,
And thought I was in Heaven.
I was given a voucher with my truck,
For an AK47.

And an nicely-scanned BLOB to Matthew Edwards for the epitaphial:
'Twasn't the truck that sent it to Heaven;
But the driver who carried an AK-47.

Subject: RE: Song Challenge! 2.0 - Fit 15
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 26 Nov 10 - 04:56 AM

I'm a peace lovin' Christian, I do no one no harm.
My whole pers'nal outlook is a mantra of calm
I went to the dealer to get a new truck
And my whole raison d'etre just got dragged through the muck.

Well you buy a 'new' truck,
What do you get?
An AK47 'n' you're ready 'n' set
To jump in that truck, go for some booze
Then into the hills huntin' grizzly & moose

Subject: RE: Song Challenge! 2.0 - Fit 15
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 26 Nov 10 - 05:12 AM

Well I drove to the hills, it was drizzling rain
I parked-up the truck and assessed my life again
My ethos so far, I fear I may lose it.
But they gave me this gun & I'm going to use it.

Well you buy a 'new' truck,
What do you get?
An AK47 'n' you're ready 'n' set
To jump in that truck, go for some booze
Then into the hills huntin' grizzly & moose

Subject: RE: Song Challenge! 2.0 - Fit 15
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 26 Nov 10 - 05:16 AM

If you see me coming, better step aside
They gave me this gun when I bought a new ride.
If you give me trouble, then you'll get your share.
I'm boozed to the gills & I'm loaded for bear.

Subject: RE: Song Challenge! 2.0 - Fit 15
From: Matthew Edwards
Date: 26 Nov 10 - 07:14 AM

With My Truck and Gun

With my truck and gun through the swamps and wetlands,
In search of pastime I took my way;
There I espied a lovely fair maid
Whose charms enticed me a while to stay.
I showed her my rifle, free from Ginetta,
In the town of Sanford near to Lake Monroe,
Said I "My darling, will you come a-hunting
In the mangrove swamps where the crocodiles go?"

"Young man," said she, "You bear a powerful weapon,
But along with you I may not stray,
For I dearly love those innocent creatures
That in these waters do sport and play.
If my parents knew that I loved a hunter,
Great affliction I would undergo;
So I'll stop at home through the hunting season,
By the mangrove swamps where the crocodiles go."

Said I, "My darling, if you'll wed a rover,
My foolish follies I will give o'er;
I'll return my rifle to Ginetta,
And the NRA I'll support no more.
Now we'll away and acquaint your parents,
Ask them their blessings to bestow;
On the happy hour when first I courted you
Near the mangrove swamps where the crocodiles go."

Now this young couple they are wed together,
And they live in peace by the lake's long shore,
No guns nor rifles disturb their contentment
As the young deer feed by their own front door.
The wildfowl cry in their wetland fastness,
By the flooded plains of Lake Monroe;
And they bless the day when he once came hunting,
To the mangrove swamps where the crocodiles go.

Matthew Edwards

This romantic ecological fantasy is of course based on that mighty song The Mountain Streams where the Moorcocks Crow, which Brigid Tunney and her son Paddy sang so beautifully.

Subject: RE: Song Challenge! 2.0 - Fit 15
From: GUEST
Date: 26 Nov 10 - 10:01 AM

Out of town for the Thanksgiving holiday, but I had to get in a verse and a chorus at least. More verses coming perhaps???

- Al

ONE FORD RANGER
Tune: One Tin Soldier by Dennis Potter and Brian Lambert
New Words: Trapper (Al Boyce)

Listen buyers, to our advert, first shown 'bout a week ago ago
'Bout a truck sale out in Sanford and the gift we will bestow.
Hurry down to Nick Ginetta's Auto Bargain Basement Lot
With each truck we sell today you'll get a gun with what you've bought!.

CHORUS:
Come and buy a Silverado, come and buy a used Ford truck
You'll get an AK-47, so you can motor out and hunt some ducks
There won't be any cattails standing, when the smoke blows 'way
On the bloody morning after one Ford Ranger rides away.

Subject: RE: Song Challenge! 2.0 - Fit 15
From: mousethief
Date: 26 Nov 10 - 04:20 PM

Yay! Silver BLOBs are clearly in order!

A coal minin' BLOB to Nigel for the cautionary,
If you give me trouble, then you'll get your share.
I'm boozed to the gills & I'm loaded for bear.

A wink-wink-nudge-nudge BLOB to Matthew for the solemn,
Young man," said she, "You bear a powerful weapon,
But along with you I may not stray,

And a bohemian BLOB to Trapper for the countercultural:
There won't be any cattails standing, when the smoke blows 'way
On the bloody morning after one Ford Ranger rides away.

Keep up the good work, Challengees!

Subject: RE: Song Challenge! 2.0 - Fit 15
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 26 Nov 10 - 08:23 PM

Just pulling it all together (and adding an opening verse)
TRUCKS 'N' GUNS
(tune Sixteen Tons)


Some people say a man has a right to bear arms
But that whole opinion gives me serious qualms
For my Bible says that "Thou shalt not kill"
So I promised my Lord that I never will.

       Well you buy a 'new' truck,
       What do you get?
       An AK47 'n' you're ready 'n' set
       To jump in that truck, go for some booze
       Then into the hills huntin' grizzly & moose

I'm a peace lovin' Christian, I do no one no harm.
My whole pers'nal outlook is a mantra of calm
I went to the dealer to get a new truck
And my whole raison d'etre just got dragged through the muck.

    Well you buy a 'new' truck,
    What do you get?
    An AK47 'n' you're ready 'n' set
    To jump in that truck, go for some booze
    Then into the hills huntin' grizzly & moose

Well I drove to the hills, it was drizzling rain
I parked-up the truck and assessed my life again
My ethos so far, I fear I may lose it.
But they gave me this gun & I'm sure gonna use it.

    Well you buy a 'new' truck,
    What do you get?
    An AK47 'n' you're ready 'n' set
    To jump in that truck, go for some booze
    Then into the hills huntin' grizzly & moose

If you see me coming, better step aside
They gave me this gun when I bought a new ride.
If you give me trouble, then you'll get your share.
I'm boozed to the gills & I'm loaded for bear.

    Well you buy a 'new' truck,
    What do you get?
    An AK47 'n' you're ready 'n' set
    To jump in that truck, go for some booze
    Then into the hills huntin' grizzly & moose

Subject: RE: Song Challenge! 2.0 - Fit 15
From: mousethief
Date: 26 Nov 10 - 09:26 PM

Bravo!

Subject: RE: Song Challenge! 2.0 - Fit 15
From: mousethief
Date: 29 Nov 10 - 12:39 AM

Time for Golden Cow Chips!

The Golden Cow Chip Award with Harp Ribbon (for making the Judges fall on the floor laughing OR make them short out their keyboard with tears) is hereby awarded to:

• Georgiansilver for "Well I went to Sanford, Florida"
• Matthew Edwards for "Epitaph for Bambi's Dad"

The Golden Cow Chip Award with with Mt. Rainier Medallion (for closely and hilariously following the pattern of its original) is hereby awarded to:

• Trapper for "One Ford Ranger"
• Matthew Edwards for "With My Truck and Gun"
• Nigel Parsons for "Trucks 'n' Guns"

Come on down to Fit 16 where homeowner stupidity reigns and burglers bake.