BS: Friends with benefits

Subject: RE: BS: Friends with benefits
From: Richie Black (misused acct, bad email)
Date: 27 Nov 10 - 10:18 AM

I see X Factor contestant Wagner Carrilho is understood to be having his incapacity benefit/D.L.A. claims reassessed after his flamboyant performances on the hit talent show.

He has been told to contact the benefits office regarding his taking part in X Factor, he is currently claiming Incapacity benefit and Disability Living Allowance !

Subject: RE: BS: Friends with benefits
From: GUEST, Richard Bridge
Date: 27 Nov 10 - 10:08 AM

Leave it to the Con-Dems. Soon there will be no benefits at all.

Maybe we should call them con-doms, like Cameron's face.

I think fuckbuddies are a good idea if it's what both parties want (and care is taken about prophylaxis) but not as often found as the daily Wail would have one believe.

Subject: RE: BS: Friends with benefits
From: GUEST,Jon
Date: 27 Nov 10 - 06:00 AM

Sort of reminds me of my (unwitting) affair. I was offered occasional sex and secret meetings as part of a deal but - no I wanted both a Christian solution and a relationship on equal terms...

I think although it took me years to see it, I did get the former (ie. GET OUT) but some things can be hard to get your head round at the time.

Subject: RE: BS: Friends with benefits
From: Lox
Date: 27 Nov 10 - 05:33 AM

I think Nathan has rather missed the point.

Looks like he was looking for Benefits and a smidgeon of friendship.

Friends with benefits is a great situation.

You are friends anyway, now and again your friendship bleeds over into something else, but you know that you aren't really compatible as a couple, so you are able to withdraw to the safety and mutual reassurance of your friendship afterwards.

A relationship has the tendency to magnify all that is great and all that is bad about a friendship in a way that a friendship doesn't.

FwB doesn't mean an absence of responsibility, it means a different type of responsibility.

As with all things in life, there is no set formula and every friendship is unique.

In all cases where I have had that kind of friendship, I have continued to be close friends with the partner in queston after the benefits have stopped - in contrast to romantic relationships that I know of and have been in that have ended in bitter acrimony.




            and stuff ...





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Subject: RE: BS: Friends with benefits
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 27 Nov 10 - 04:30 AM

Without benefit of clergy, surely.

Subject: RE: BS: Friends with benefits
From: Richie Black (misused acct, bad email)
Date: 27 Nov 10 - 03:16 AM

Friends ON benefits.

Subject: RE: BS: Friends with benefits
From: 3refs
Date: 27 Nov 10 - 03:13 AM

Ed T, all the while I was reading your 3rd post, I thought "you poor bastard"! Then I saw it was an excerpt. Poor bastard!

Back in the 70's.....geez! Speechless just thinkin about.....

Subject: RE: BS: Friends with benefits
From: GUEST,cs
Date: 27 Nov 10 - 02:26 AM

Whoa, bitter much!

"we're always using a condom."
"you can't come over to my apartment drunk,"
"You can't call me drunk,"
"I'm never doing that or wearing that"

He calls that "bitching and whining", when I'd call them pretty sensible ground rules for a casual sexual relationship.
Not sure about the rule discussing other partners, but that's for the people involved to decide between themselves and of course it would have to apply both ways.

If his attitude about simple ground rules is that uptight and immature, Like Kat, I'd be surprised he ever gets laid at all.
Based on what he calls "bitching and whining", I guess he thought a casual sexual relationship meant he could stop treating her like a friend (friends of course tend to go out together "once a month" "just to be nice") treat her like shit by refusing to wear a condom, going round her apartment drunk, phoning her up drunk, expecting her to dress up in kinky outfits, and do sex stuff for him that she wasn't into herself.

Subject: RE: BS: Friends with benefits
From: katlaughing
Date: 26 Nov 10 - 09:41 PM

So can we call them "Neo-Bennies?"

(Perfect quote, ClaireBear!)

Subject: RE: BS: Friends with benefits
From: ClaireBear
Date: 26 Nov 10 - 08:34 PM

The concept of 'friends with benefits' is at least as old as Shakespeare, as I recently discovered. What do you think this means?

Blow, blow, thou winter wind,
Thou art not so unkind
As man's ingratitude;
Thy tooth is not so keen,
Because thou art not seen,
Although thy breath be rude.

Heigh ho, sing heigh ho, unto the green holly;
most friendship is feigning, most loving mere folly:
Then, heigh ho, the holly!
This life is most jolly.

Freeze, freeze, thou bitter sky,
That dost not bite so nigh
As benefits forgot:
Though thou the waters warp,
Thy sting is not so sharp
As friend remember'd not.

Heigh ho, sing heigh ho, unto the green holly:
most friendship is feigning, most loving mere folly:
Then, heigh ho, the holly!
This life is most jolly.

Subject: RE: BS: Friends with benefits
From: Jeri
Date: 26 Nov 10 - 08:32 PM

It seems to me this is about being intimate with someone and pretending not to be. Seems like a way to not trap the OTHER person, except, obviously, sometimes it's a way to just SEEM to not trap the other person.

Subject: RE: BS: Friends with benefits
From: Jeri
Date: 26 Nov 10 - 08:29 PM

I think Nathan GOT fucked.

Subject: RE: BS: Friends with benefits
From: katlaughing
Date: 26 Nov 10 - 08:26 PM

Sounds to me like Nathan needs to get fucked.

Subject: RE: BS: Friends with benefits
From: artbrooks
Date: 26 Nov 10 - 08:13 PM

Gee...and here I thought you meant a friend with health and life insurance...

Subject: RE: BS: Friends with benefits
From: Ed T
Date: 26 Nov 10 - 07:49 PM

So, she offers you this doctrine: "I don't want anything from you. We can just have a purely sexual relationship." It sounds like music to your ears. You achieve the kind of happiness that Zen masters aspire to teach their students. You want to celebrate your lovemaking ability and thank God for the whorish ways of your newly acquired sex junkie. However, nothing is what it seems.

So, after the next few times you do the forbidden dance, her doctrine of happiness gets sullied with the following amendments: "From now on, we're always using a condom. I don't know what diseases you have," or "Every time you sleep with another girl, I want to know about it," or "From now on, you can't come over to my apartment drunk," or "You can't call me drunk," or "I'm never doing that or wearing that or bringing you that or sharing my girlfriend with you ever again because that kind of behavior is what women do for their boyfriends and you're not my boyfriend, asshole. We're just friends with benefits."

And after all that bitching and whining, you find yourself wondering what exactly the benefits are.

But it's cool because her friend says that all she wants is a sexual relationship as long as you always tell her about all the women you're with and take her out to dinner, you know, once a month or something, just to be nice.

At any rate, by this time, you're hooked to the sex and you want to keep the slut-friend happy (though not too happy) so you take her out for dinner and meet some of her friends.

Pretty soon you're getting a call from your alleged friend-with-benefits and she's saying that she hates you and how dare you behave like this and all this drama crap usually reserved for actual relationships.

Then, before you even know what happened, you're breaking up with a girl you were never even going out with.

(An abstract by Nathan DeGraaf daily at The Nate Way)

Subject: RE: BS: Friends with benefits
From: Ed T
Date: 26 Nov 10 - 07:35 PM

I dunno, it's new to me.

Subject: RE: BS: Friends with benefits
From: michaelr
Date: 26 Nov 10 - 07:34 PM

You mean fuckbuddies?

Subject: BS: Friends with benefits
From: Ed T
Date: 26 Nov 10 - 07:27 PM

What's the deal with "friends with benefits"?

It seems to be a norm today with younger folks.

I don't recall any of this when I was a young'un. Seems like I missed out on a good thing.

Any of you folks have "friends with benefits", now or in the past?