Lyr Req: Four Flanneries / Flannerys (Niall Toibin

Subject: Lyr Req: Felix Flannery
From: Curious Clouseau
Date: 29 Dec 10 - 09:43 AM

Hi,

I'm looking for the lyrics to a recitation I heard which I think is called "Felix Flannery".

The only part of it I can remember is the last line which is:
"You long nosed Kerry Hoor"

Any help would be appreciated :)
Thanks

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Felix Flannery
From: GUEST,DJTWood
Date: 22 Nov 13 - 09:52 AM

Clouseau,

I believe it's called "the four flannerys" you can get it as part of a comedy album by neil toibin - very funny Irish actor
I only know the first verse well enough to "write in ink".
-
Well I was in a hotel in london, you know the kind of kip.
Where there's never any ice and all the taps and ceilings drip.
And why I was there, well there's no need to tell the truth,
for I've long lost the first flush but not the appetites of youth.
I was standing in the lobby about to sign the register,[pronounced "registrure" in the accent of the man]
I saw a certain felix flannery had signed it just before.
And as my stomach battled with unfathomable stew,
I felt acertain kinda wondering, [pronounced "wa-and-ring"]
Which flannery are you?
-

There then follows four descriptions of felixes he has met in the past and their trials and tribulations but I haven't commited any to memory (just yet). If you can find the CD you'll get the full tale plus a good few others and some great 'ould ireland' jokes in the mix too.
Regards

D.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Felix Flannery
From: GUEST
Date: 22 Nov 13 - 11:16 AM

It may help searches to use Niall Toibin.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Felix Flannery (recitation) 4 Flannerys?
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 26 Nov 13 - 02:33 PM

There is a 2-CD album by Niall Toibin called "Caught in the Act," one of whose cuts is called "The Four Flanneries" (sic).

It is being offered by Claddagh Records as well as several other vendors.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Felix Flannery (recitation) 4 Flannerys?
From: MartinRyan
Date: 26 Nov 13 - 03:57 PM

Curious Clouseau hasn't been around much in recent years (note the date of the original posting). He may well have sourced the recitation himself by now. Still be nice to see it, of course!

Regards

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Four Flanneries / Flannerys (Niall Toibin
From: GUEST
Date: 20 Mar 15 - 08:42 AM

Anyone got the rest

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Four Flanneries / Flannerys (Niall Toibin
From: GUEST
Date: 01 Oct 15 - 08:18 PM

If anyone has this could they post it.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Four Flanneries / Flannerys (Niall Toibin
From: GUEST,Willie Gamble, Scotland
Date: 27 Aug 18 - 04:45 AM

Here is what I remember.

Are you the Felix Flannery, I met one year at puck
Who told me he was privvy, to the whims of Lady Luck
Who said, if you want loose women, first you have to make them tight
Then denied all knowledge of me when their husbands Hove in sight
Who swore a noble vengeance, as they landed every clout
That they'd twist my belly button, till my arsehole fell out
Well, if you're that Felix Flannery, then naught would please me more
Then God forgive you, cause I won't, Ya loud mouthed Kerry Whore.

Or are you the Felix Flannery from the school around the corner long ago
Who threw lit matches down Miss Murphy's blouse to set her heart aglow
????????? and the only man I've sent could peel an orange in his pocket

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Four Flanneries / Flannerys (Niall Toibin
From: GUEST,The man from Coosan
Date: 08 Feb 22 - 02:15 AM

In a small hotel in London (you know the kind of kip!)
Where there's never any ice, and all the taps and ceilings drip.
I was checking in because...(well there's no need to tell the truth
But I've long lost the first flush, but not the appetites of youth).
And I discerned with bleary vision as I scrawled my signature
That a certain Felix Flannery had signed the register.
And as my digestion battled with unfathomable stew
I fell to sorta wuntherin' which Flannery were you?

Were you that lanky ludhramaan, I met one year at Puck
Who told me he was privvy, to the whims of Lady Luck?
Who sold me Kerry diamonds and a genuine blackthorn shtick,
And spent my fortnight's wages tryin' to solve the 3-card trick.
Who said, if you want loose women, first you have to make them tight
Then denied all knowledge of me when their husbands hove in sight
And swore a noble vengeance, as they landed every clout
That they'd twist my belly button, till my arsehole'd fall out
Well, if you're that Felix Flannery, who came from Knockanure
God forgive you, because I won't, you long-nosed Kerry Hoor!

Or were you the Felix Flannery who plastered Derry's walls
With illiterate profanities and anti-Papish scrawls?
Who lived in dread of bein' out-bred by Mick's proliferation,
And advocated universal Catholic castration?
Who quoted Holy Scripture, foul excess to justify
As you banged your drum, you Orange bum, each 12th day of July.
You sold plaques of Blessed Martin on the Falls, which may sound screwy
But you'd sell them on the Shankill too, and tell them 'twas Joe Louis.
You swore the Pope would rot in Hell, no bloody ifs or buts,
Well I'll say this much, you were honest, and I hate your Orange guts.

Or were you the Felix in the school around the corner long ago
Who threw matches down Miss Murphy's blouse to set her heart aglow
Who at every opportunity would make it very clear
"These bleedin' culchies, look they'd build a nest inside yer ear!
Sure an ordinary Dublin man he doesn't stand a chance,
Take yer hands outta yer pockets and they'd feck yer bloody pants!"
Still, the fastest man I know to permutate a bookie's docket
And the only man I seen could peel an orange in his pocket.
But sure the one bit of ould Dub that they haven't managed to destroy
So I hope you don't meet sorrow when you get out of the 'Joy.

Or were you the little Feliksheen I met in Kiltimagh
That greeted well-heeled tourists with your whinin' "Tar isteach!"
That shmilin' shy, soft-shpoken boy who gillied for the quality
Who tugged his forelock, tipped his cap and laughed in phoney jollity
Who played them Planxty Kelly and called blessin's on their head
"May ye be a week in Heaven before the Divil knows you're dead!"
Well if you're that obnoxious troglodyte then naught would please me more
Than to bury you and Felix Two and Felix Three and Four
And all your hogwash, sham and cant and fraud of long ago
In the bog below Belmullet in the County of Mayo!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Four Flanneries / Flannerys (Niall Toibin
From: GUEST
Date: 09 Feb 22 - 09:00 AM

This is a parody of "The Four Farrellys" by Percy French

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Four Flanneries / Flannerys (Niall Toibin
From: GUEST,Martin Ryan
Date: 09 Feb 22 - 12:45 PM

So it is - I just checked!

Greetings to Coosan from someone who once lived in Hillquarter!

Regards