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NEW!! BBC Award announced!

Silas 24 Jan 11 - 05:59 AM
GUEST,Big Norman Voice 24 Jan 11 - 06:14 AM
GUEST,Jim Knowledge 24 Jan 11 - 06:48 AM
Vic Smith 24 Jan 11 - 10:18 AM
Old Vermin 24 Jan 11 - 12:39 PM
The Sandman 24 Jan 11 - 01:55 PM
The Sandman 24 Jan 11 - 01:56 PM
Vic Smith 31 Jan 11 - 05:20 AM
Gy Morris man 31 Jan 11 - 09:05 AM
GUEST,Alan Whittle 31 Jan 11 - 05:03 PM
GUEST,Alan Whittle 31 Jan 11 - 05:05 PM
SylviaN 31 Jan 11 - 05:21 PM
michaelr 31 Jan 11 - 06:03 PM
nickp 01 Feb 11 - 04:01 AM
GUEST,Alan whittle 01 Feb 11 - 05:16 AM
Silas 01 Feb 11 - 05:24 AM
nickp 01 Feb 11 - 05:49 AM
jonm 01 Feb 11 - 05:53 AM
Roger the Skiffler 01 Feb 11 - 06:20 AM
michaelr 01 Feb 11 - 11:33 AM
Silas 01 Feb 11 - 11:57 AM
michaelr 01 Feb 11 - 12:51 PM
Silas 01 Feb 11 - 12:57 PM
GUEST,Chris Murray 02 Feb 11 - 08:05 AM
Silas 02 Feb 11 - 08:20 AM
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Subject: NEW!! BBC Award announced!
From: Silas
Date: 24 Jan 11 - 05:59 AM

BBC have just announced that a new category in the Folk Awards. The Services to Morris Dancing Award. The first recipient of the most prestigious award will be Ex-Beatle Spouse Heather Mills.
Whilst Heather has not actually Morris Danced herself, she is pretty sure that she once saw a Morris side from a pub window in happier times when she and Paul were still married, but she definitely once owned a hankie, and the bell in her budgies cage is pretty similar to the ones that she thinks Morris dancers use.
When asked by our reporter why Ms Mills was chosen to receive this award, Bob Sherman, controller of BBC Radio 2 said, "Quite frankly, we don't really give a fuck who wins the bleeding award, just as long as it is some-one the public know, it all helps to put bums on seats and anyway, there is a pretty good chance that she will attempt to give a dance demonstration and, with a bit of luck, her leg will drop off, just think of the publicity."
We also asked Mike Harding to comment, but all we could get was him holding his head in his hands saying "It's all going horribly wrong" over and over again.


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Subject: RE: NEW!! BBC Award announced!
From: GUEST,Big Norman Voice
Date: 24 Jan 11 - 06:14 AM

Do you have to go down on one knee, to receive the award?


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Subject: RE: NEW!! BBC Award announced!
From: GUEST,Jim Knowledge
Date: 24 Jan 11 - 06:48 AM

I `ad one of those Morris Dancers in my cab the other day. `e was from that Ravensbourne lot, `ankies, bells, pig`s bladder and all.
`e said, " Morning Jim. Could you take me to Cecil Sharp `ouse please? We`re gonna get presented with some award and I`ve got to look the business, that`s why I`m dolled up like this".
I said, "Well Maurice, you look the real deal to me. Just like you was at "The "Greyhound" at Keston. What`s this award about then?"
`e said, "It`s for Services to Humour. We still provide more ammunition for those ponces on radio and t.v. `oo call themselves comedians than any other subject!!"

Whaddam I Like??


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Subject: RE: NEW!! BBC Award announced!
From: Vic Smith
Date: 24 Jan 11 - 10:18 AM

Clearly, I was getting it all wrong…. I was under the impression that the sequence for the BBC Folk Awards was as follows:-
A] Think of a category
B] Have your panel choose the most suitable recipient
C] Make the award.


Now I realise that I had got sequence entirely wrong. In fact it is:-
A] Think of the winner (Must be a really well-known celebrity for publicity purposes)
B] Have your panel think of a suitable category for that celebrity.
C] Make the award.


Having made that simple deduction, it becomes easy to make suggestions for future winners. Here are the first ones that came to my mind:-


*** Best Morris dancer in a stick dance awarded to Mick Jagger for the album "Sticky Fingers"
*** Best Performance of a traditional song awarded to Damien Hirst for his rendering of "The Sheep Stealer" based on his encasement of a dead sheep in formaldehyde
*** Best Performance of a Sea Shanty awarded to England cricket captain Andrew Strauss for his version of "South Australia".
*** Best Performance of a Ballad awarded jointly to Venus Williams and Serena Williams for their version of "The Twa Sisters".
*** Best performance of a traditional story awarded to Nick Clegg for his utterly convincing "King of the Liars".
*** Best Performance on the Fiddle" awarded to Bob Diamond, the Barclays chief executive for his annual bonus.

I'm sure that other users of this forum will be able to make other helpful suggestions…


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Subject: RE: NEW!! BBC Award announced!
From: Old Vermin
Date: 24 Jan 11 - 12:39 PM

"*** Best performance of a traditional story awarded to Nick Clegg for his utterly convincing "King of the Liars"."

Mr Smith, sir, will you please not reduce me to helpless laughter.


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Subject: RE: NEW!! BBC Award announced!
From: The Sandman
Date: 24 Jan 11 - 01:55 PM

Best performance of a Teashock, BIFFO[BIG IGNORANT FELLOW FROM OFFALY] FOR THE SONG Waiting for the day we get our pay.


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Subject: RE: NEW!! BBC Award announced!
From: The Sandman
Date: 24 Jan 11 - 01:56 PM

Subject: RE: NEW!! BBC Award announced!
From: GUEST,Big Norman Voice - PM
Date: 24 Jan 11 - 06:14 AM

Do you have to go down on one knee, to receive the award?
NO but you have to open your legs, then lie back and think of England


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Subject: RE: NEW!! BBC Award announced!
From: Vic Smith
Date: 31 Jan 11 - 05:20 AM

*** Best Performance of a traditional song awarded to Tracey Emin for her very visual performance of "The Bedmaking".


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Subject: RE: NEW!! BBC Award announced!
From: Gy Morris man
Date: 31 Jan 11 - 09:05 AM

For the promotion of furtherance of folk. Radio Derby.


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Subject: RE: NEW!! BBC Award announced!
From: GUEST,Alan Whittle
Date: 31 Jan 11 - 05:03 PM

Its really bugging you this Donovan business, isn't it Vic?

Given the provenance of the BBC - what exactly were you expecting? That they KNOW any folksingers, or folxongs, or folkclubs, or anything about the subject.

I really think you need to put this behind you. it will soon be summer and we can all go to festivals and meet our friends. Cheer up!


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Subject: RE: NEW!! BBC Award announced!
From: GUEST,Alan Whittle
Date: 31 Jan 11 - 05:05 PM

You know what these people from California say on telly - you have to let these things go........chill!


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Subject: RE: NEW!! BBC Award announced!
From: SylviaN
Date: 31 Jan 11 - 05:21 PM

Gy Morris Man - just a slight alteration to your "For the promotion of furtherance of folk" award - to be awarded jointly to the Head of BBC Radio East Midlands Region and the Controller of English regions.


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Subject: RE: NEW!! BBC Award announced!
From: michaelr
Date: 31 Jan 11 - 06:03 PM

Am I the only one who finds the Heather Mills "joke" in poor taste?


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Subject: RE: NEW!! BBC Award announced!
From: nickp
Date: 01 Feb 11 - 04:01 AM

I find it bad taste too but that's the thing about the Cat, sometimes you just have to turn a blind eye.


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Subject: RE: NEW!! BBC Award announced!
From: GUEST,Alan whittle
Date: 01 Feb 11 - 05:16 AM

Oh get back in the knife drawer, nickp!
Very sharp and witty.


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Subject: RE: NEW!! BBC Award announced!
From: Silas
Date: 01 Feb 11 - 05:24 AM

Bad taste?

You ned to get out a bit more


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Subject: RE: NEW!! BBC Award announced!
From: nickp
Date: 01 Feb 11 - 05:49 AM

I didn't say I didn't find it funny (because I do) but I found it in bad taste. I can enjoy bad tastes too. ** grin **


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Subject: RE: NEW!! BBC Award announced!
From: jonm
Date: 01 Feb 11 - 05:53 AM

"Do you have to go down on one knee, to receive the award?"

I thought that was Paul McCartney's sex life for a while!


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Subject: RE: NEW!! BBC Award announced!
From: Roger the Skiffler
Date: 01 Feb 11 - 06:20 AM

I find it a bit odd that they are having the Folk Awards on Monday shunting Paul Jones blues programme from its Monday slot to Wednesday in place of the usual Mike Harding folk programme.

RtS


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Subject: RE: NEW!! BBC Award announced!
From: michaelr
Date: 01 Feb 11 - 11:33 AM

And getting out a bit more would do what, relating to this?


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Subject: RE: NEW!! BBC Award announced!
From: Silas
Date: 01 Feb 11 - 11:57 AM

Might stop you being so anal if you saw what REAL bad taste is about.


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Subject: RE: NEW!! BBC Award announced!
From: michaelr
Date: 01 Feb 11 - 12:51 PM

Ever heard the saying "there's no arguing about taste"? It's individual, subjective. Claiming to know REAL from UNREAL just makes you look silly.


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Subject: RE: NEW!! BBC Award announced!
From: Silas
Date: 01 Feb 11 - 12:57 PM

Yep.
Now, remind me, who brought the subject of taste up?


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Subject: RE: NEW!! BBC Award announced!
From: GUEST,Chris Murray
Date: 02 Feb 11 - 08:05 AM

I thought there was a rule which says that Show of Hands must win something every year. It doesn't matter what the category is!


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Subject: RE: NEW!! BBC Award announced!
From: Silas
Date: 02 Feb 11 - 08:20 AM

Cue Lizzy...


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