BS: Spaw Actually Does Return

Subject: BS: Spaw Actually Does Return
From: catspaw49
Date: 15 Feb 11 - 04:16 PM

This is simply and FYI thread. I wanted to start this thread as I think some browsers might be tired of loading the other.....LOL........A few of you have been suggesting assorted feats of flatulence as well.

Hey.....I didn't dare fart for at least a week! Y'all got any idea of how long it takes to get all your systems functioning properly again after you've been been tubed in every orifice for almost two months?   They are working now anyway....although I need to be close to a john if someone turns water on somewhere.......and I think a visit to any waterfall is still out of the question.

Jacqui had it right......I'm improving by literally leaps and bounds both physically and mentally but it has been a bitch to concentrate on anything for very long. Karen stopped and picked up some Reader's Digest Super Condensed Books and that's helped as I was able to read War and Peace in three and a half minutes while Kierkeggard's Either/Or took only a minute longer......although I still have no idea what he's saying. I must admit I was fascinated by one which was titled The Collective Wisdom of Fox News which I finished in under three seconds although I understand Reader's Digest had not condensed it at all!

Of course my Cable Service has 891 channels and I was able to find SAST, a wonderful movie channel. The initials mean Short Attention Span Theater and there lineup is tremendous! I watched "Gone With The Wind" in 4 minutes while the entire Indiana Jones set took only 5! I am amazed at what a fine job they do. You can watch "Oklahoma" in 12 seconds and "Phantom of the Opera" in 19. I've applied for some medicinal marijuana so I can watch "Annie" and "Sound of Music" but right now their 14 second run times are more than I want to face. Any more Sondheim will require several brownies.....maybe an entire pan.

Physically I'm healing nicely and getting stronger all the time. My best friend Karen and I are going to go to the lanes and watch Tris bowl tomorrow morning. It is wonderful getting around without a walker! Strength and coordination are coming back but it'll be awhile. My sincerest apologies for not posting before this but damn.....this has been rough.

I couldn't have done it without all of you. I want you to know I have read every card, PM, and message posted.........and I don't know what to say. My first inclination as always is to try and respond to each of you.........but the volume is so great I wouldn't know where to start. And if I start singling out folks I'll miss someone and I don't want to do that. What I can say is that once again I am overwhelmed by the compassion, love, intelligence, generosity, creativity, and true friendship, that is found here. I will break my own rule however and say that Rap andMoby are freakin' unbelievable......as is Dan O'Connell.

So you'll see me around more and more, for better or for worse and it will be a pleasure to be back.


Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Actually Does Return
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 15 Feb 11 - 04:27 PM

woot! he be back!

Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Actually Does Return
From: gnu
Date: 15 Feb 11 - 04:30 PM

HOOORRRAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And fuck you you beautiful broke dick prick. Don't EVER scare us like that again. EVER!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Actually Does Return
From: Wesley S
Date: 15 Feb 11 - 04:36 PM

Glad you're back. Now STAY healthy dammit......

Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Actually Does Return
From: Jeri
Date: 15 Feb 11 - 04:44 PM

I'd like to wish you a great big "Fuck You" too. We missed you a lot, even though it was fun to talk about you while you were gone. And on behalf of everybody here, whether they like it or not, DON'T DO THAT AGAIN!!!

Love, Jeri

Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Actually Does Return
From: Cuilionn
Date: 15 Feb 11 - 04:48 PM

Tis PAW!!! HUZZAH!!!!!

--Cuilionn

Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Actually Does Return
From: Beer
Date: 15 Feb 11 - 04:48 PM

Starting this thread is thanks enough fr me.
Stay well.
Adrien

Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Actually Does Return
From: open mike
Date: 15 Feb 11 - 04:49 PM

welcome back to reality as we know it...

Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Actually Does Return
From: GUEST,John MacKenzie
Date: 15 Feb 11 - 04:51 PM

About fucking, time!

Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Actually Does Return
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Feb 11 - 04:58 PM

I found some more.

...Had you stepped on board the Peepod at a certain juncture of this post-mortemizing of the whale; and had you blithely strolled forward nigh the windlass, pretty sure am I that you would have scanned with no small curiosity and envy, if you are male, a very strange, enigmatical object to old maids, which you would have seen there, lying along lengthwise in the lee scuppers or whatever they're called. Not the wondrous cistern in the whale's huge head; not the prodigy of his unhinged lower jaw; not the miracle of his symmetrical tail; none of these would so surprise you, as half a glimpse of that unaccountable cone, - longer than a small Kentuckian is tall, nigh a foot in diameter at the base, and jet-black as Yoho, the ebony cola drink of Queequeg. And an idol, indeed, it is; or, rather, in old times, its likeness was, and, to some, still is. Such an idol as that found in the secret groves of Queen Maachah in Judea or Lily's place in Nantucket; and for worshipping which, king Asshole, her son, did depose her, and destroyed the idol, and burnt it for an abomination at the brook Kedron, polluting the water thereby, as darkly set forth in the 15th chapter of the first book of Kings or somewhere.

Look at the sailor, called the mincer, who now minces along, and assisted by two allies, heavily backs into the grandissimus, as the mariners never called it, and with bowed shoulders, staggers off with it as if he were a grenadier carrying a dead comrade from the field. Extending it upon the forecastle deck, he now proceeds cylindrically to remove its dark pelt, as an African hunter the pelt of a boa. This done he turns the pelt inside out, like a pantaloon leg, if your pantaloons had but one leg; gives it a good stretching, so as almost to double its diameter; and at last hangs it, well spread, in the rigging, to dry. Ere long, it is taken down; when removing some three feet of it, towards the pointed extremity, and then cutting two slits for arm-holes at the other end, he lengthwise slips himself bodily into it. The mincer now stands before you invested in the full canonicals of his calling, and the other end, left from his butchery, has an end fastened shut with hawser and glue, to be used by Ahab when next he goes to shore.

Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Actually Does Return
From: Will Fly
Date: 15 Feb 11 - 05:00 PM

Welcome back. Stay well.

Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Actually Does Return
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 15 Feb 11 - 05:03 PM

I'm so glad you are recovering!

Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Actually Does Return
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Feb 11 - 05:17 PM

Good to hear from you! ;-) What Kierkeggard is saying is essentially pretty much what Schopenhauer said and not far off what Dostoevsky would have said. In essence, to achieve a heightening of your mental/emotional clarity, do the following:

1. Listen to excellent music. Example: David Bowie's "Space Oddity".

2. Watch high quality films. Examples: "Songcatcher" and "Howard the Duck".

3. Focus your attention on great lives: Examples: William Shatner, Don Cherry (the Canadian hockey commentator), and Winona Ryder.

4. Get a superior breed of dog for a house pet. Example: Dachshund, smooth, longhaired or wire-haired.

5. Avoid total, absolute crap that will shut down your critical faculties and reduce you to drooling idiocy. Examples: Vaugh Bode's "Cheech Wizard", the NASCAR races, football games, the Superbowl, American Idol, Britain's Got Talent, and "Judge Judy". In fact, avoid TV altogether if you possibly can...

;-D

Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Actually Does Return
From: Wesley S
Date: 15 Feb 11 - 05:24 PM

Yeah - maybe you'll have time to catch up on those "Songcatcher" threads you've been meaning to read....

Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Actually Does Return
From: gnu
Date: 15 Feb 11 - 05:40 PM

LH... "do the following:... "

Well. I would add... get some Canuck TV with some curling... or youse Yanks should raise the house (pun intended) and get yer TV guys to get some good curling on yer tube.

Spaw buddy... Scotties Tournament of Hearts goes out to you that you don't get good curling coverage down there. (Yeah, it's a stretch but it's been a long day.)

Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Actually Does Return
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Feb 11 - 05:44 PM

Curling is indeed an amazing sport to watch. I managed to sit through almost 2 minutes of it one time before I fell asleep. I understand that they use it to train Ukrainian charwomen, by the way, and with very good results. You get strong forearms from curling and are assured of a clean sweep every time you play.

Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Actually Does Return
From: Mark Clark
Date: 15 Feb 11 - 05:58 PM

What a great day! It's just wonderful to see a post from ’Spaw hisself. Pat's always been one of the greatest delights of this forum. I'm so happy to see him able to rejoin the tomfoolery.

      - Mark

Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Actually Does Return
From: Herga Kitty
Date: 15 Feb 11 - 06:03 PM

Great to see Spaw back and posting... him and McGrath having both given us all such frights. And that was before they were ill!

Kitty

Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Actually Does Return
From: saulgoldie
Date: 15 Feb 11 - 06:19 PM

Glad you're doing better!

Saul

Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Actually Does Return
From: Amos
Date: 15 Feb 11 - 06:42 PM

YEEEEEHAW, BUDDY!! Keep on rolling.


A

Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Actually Does Return
From: Bill D
Date: 15 Feb 11 - 06:44 PM

"Short Attention Span Theater"

**grin** Nice idea.... Maybe they can get the rights to "Mobius Dick"

In my philosophy dept., we dreamed up films like "Kant's Critique of Pure Reason", starring Julie Newmar as the 'sensible manifold'.

welcome back.

Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Actually Does Return
From: jacqui.c
Date: 15 Feb 11 - 07:17 PM

Welcome back Spaw. Now, STAY WELL, or the Evil Sisterhood may have to send Nurse Ratched to minister to you.

Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Actually Does Return
From: SINSULL
Date: 15 Feb 11 - 07:36 PM

Can someone explain to this poor old maid - a maiden lady - what Rap is going on about? Why would Peeleg wear it ashore?

SINS

PS Piss on it, Spaw. Little Yellow Fellow and all of us were not quite sure this time whether we were supposed to be compassionate or just go with business as usual. If this is what an appendectomy does to you, for heaven's sake do not even consider a vasectomy.
SINS

Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Actually Does Return
From: olddude
Date: 15 Feb 11 - 07:47 PM

I love you my brother welcome back

Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Actually Does Return
From: Noreen
Date: 15 Feb 11 - 07:49 PM

: )

Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Actually Does Return
From: Noreen
Date: 15 Feb 11 - 07:50 PM

Ha ha- that's a happy smile, but a bit juddery on my screen... well, you know what I meant! :)

Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Actually Does Return
From: kendall
Date: 15 Feb 11 - 08:02 PM

Back to abnormal at last.

Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Actually Does Return
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 15 Feb 11 - 08:48 PM

About time we heard from you!! As always, nice to see your face in the place

Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Actually Does Return
From: Joe Offer
Date: 15 Feb 11 - 08:50 PM

Spaw, welcome back. I don't know whether I should say "Oh, shit!" or if I should get a tear in my eye...

with love,

-Joe-

Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Actually Does Return
From: Janie
Date: 15 Feb 11 - 09:10 PM

What? You're not going to send a personal thank you to each and every one of us?

Ok, fella, just be that way!

You think we were all watching, reading, writing, praying, setting forest fires from lighting candles, levitating 3 feet off the floor during intense meditations as healing thoughts focused entirely on you, Lame Brain, because we wanted you to get better?

You think most of us sat at our computers waiting for interminably long threads to load, focused only on one gawddamned Buckeye who craves attention so badly he'll turn an appendectomy into a near-death experience just to see how 'Catter's will respond because we give a rat's ass? (On the otherhand, Janie, what else would you expect from a Buckeye - them what likes to drive 50 mph in the right lane on the WV Turnpike because they enjoy the friendly middle finger waves people give them as "parade leader" when they pull out of the procession to pass on the right?)

Personally, I would be very hurt to not receive a personal thank you and an orchid for each time I posted or opened, read, and searched the threads for some news, except that I did at least get this opportunity to write a bunch of complex running and nearly unintelligible sentences.

So this time I'll let you off the hook.







(And btw, happyhappyhappyhappyhappyhappy you are on the mend. Don't pull a trick like this again, 'kay?)

Hogs and kicksus,

Janie

Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Actually Does Return
From: Sandy Mc Lean
Date: 15 Feb 11 - 09:17 PM

Welcome back!

Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Actually Does Return
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Feb 11 - 09:22 PM

Well, SINS, it's like this. When they killed a male whale a certain part the that whale's anatomy was used in certain ways.... Consider a circumcision, for example....

Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Actually Does Return
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Feb 11 - 09:25 PM

Lookin' Coooool.....!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Actually Does Return
From: katlaughing
Date: 15 Feb 11 - 09:49 PM

luvyaPeaches.

kat

Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Actually Does Return
From: GUEST,Russ
Date: 15 Feb 11 - 09:53 PM

Welcome back.

Russ (Permanent GUEST)

Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Actually Does Return
From: maeve
Date: 15 Feb 11 - 10:04 PM

Thanks, Pat. I am delighted to see your post.

Maeve

Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Actually Does Return
From: Neil D
Date: 15 Feb 11 - 10:56 PM

Very happy to have you back and healthy. Please stay that way!

                                 Neil and Christina

Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Actually Does Return
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 15 Feb 11 - 11:52 PM

it's fantastic to see you back!

Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Actually Does Return
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 15 Feb 11 - 11:58 PM

Good to hear from you!

Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Actually Does Return
From: Bob Landry
Date: 16 Feb 11 - 12:47 AM

Welcome back, spaw. I look forward to more of your words of wisdom.

Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Actually Does Return
From: BlueJay
Date: 16 Feb 11 - 12:47 AM

Glad you're back, Spaw. Take care, BlueJay

Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Actually Does Return
From: JennieG
Date: 16 Feb 11 - 01:45 AM

So good to hear those dulcet tones again! You have been missed, and we are very pleased to have you back.

Cheers
JennieG

Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Actually Does Return
From: My guru always said
Date: 16 Feb 11 - 02:39 AM

So very glad to see you back here. Keep recovering well!

Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Actually Does Return
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 16 Feb 11 - 02:47 AM

Glad to be able to read your posts again. You have been missed, but we are hoping our aim will improve ... :-P

Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Actually Does Return
From: Bugsy
Date: 16 Feb 11 - 03:28 AM

good to see you back mate.


Cheers

Bugsy

Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Actually Does Return
From: mouldy
Date: 16 Feb 11 - 04:21 AM

Be still my heaving bosom, and swell no more with happiness! (My bosom heaving is not a pretty sight).

JUST DON'T PUT US THROUGH THAT AGAIN, PAL!

Andrea xxxxxxx

Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Actually Does Return
From: fat B****rd
Date: 16 Feb 11 - 05:50 AM

Welcome back, 'Spaw. Stick around, eh!

Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Actually Does Return
From: alanabit
Date: 16 Feb 11 - 06:28 AM

A good day for us all. Welcome back

Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Actually Does Return
From: Roger the Skiffler
Date: 16 Feb 11 - 06:43 AM

Ok, Pat. Here at the NYCFTTS we've got the titanium bedpans all scrubbed up ready and Nurse Ratchet (she scrubs up well,too) has just snapped on the extra strong, ribbed, sensitile-lubricated rubber gloves so we're all prepared for your convalescence once the bowling is over( best of luck for Tris, I've got money on him at Fat Larry's the bookie (kneecaps broken, no extra charge).

RtS

Subject: RE: BS: Spaw Actually Does Return
From: Dharmabum
Date: 16 Feb 11 - 06:53 AM

Good to have you back Spaw.
Welcome home.

DB.