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Secret of Life is to ask Questions
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Subject: RE: Secret of Life is to ask Questions From: GUEST Date: 03 Nov 00 - 08:58 PM ME1: The chicken was hopeful that the sky wasn't falling over there. ME2: That where the cock was, and she needed some egg fertilizer. |
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Subject: RE: Secret of Life is to ask Questions From: Uncle_DaveO Date: 03 Nov 00 - 08:41 PM Thanx, Matt. Now I feel better. Dave Oesterreich |
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Subject: RE: Secret of Life is to ask Questions From: Matt_R Date: 02 Nov 00 - 09:04 PM DAVEO: Doodle dy, doodle dee...the pretty little hen-catcher's daughter... |
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Subject: RE: Secret of Life is to ask Questions From: GUEST Date: 02 Nov 00 - 08:47 PM why'd the cactus cross the road? stuck to the chicken |
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Subject: RE: Secret of Life is to ask Questions From: Uncle_DaveO Date: 02 Nov 00 - 02:36 PM I'm hurt!!! Nobody's parodied me! It must be my colorless personality. Bummer! Dave Oesterreich |
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Subject: RE: Secret of Life is to ask Questions From: wysiwyg Date: 02 Nov 00 - 02:07 PM No fair! No fair! I can't figure out how to do mousethief yet! But I can see he can ALMOST do me! Close!! Very close!! LOL!!!! Left this out though dear, so wear it for me all day: } : ~ *> ) I would NEVER say "Glory to Jesus" either, except in a stand-up impression, and I don't do them here usually-- hafta phone me fer that!! (Yeah, there is a level beyond motormice!) Hmmmm... what WOULD I say.... um, half what you said, ALex, and the other half about the chickensh*t piling up and how to remove it with God's help....! Made my day. Thanks! ~S~ |
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Subject: RE: Secret of Life is to ask Questions From: Matt_R Date: 02 Nov 00 - 01:11 PM BOBJR: i think this is a stupid thread it doesnt make sense when I come here I like music threads not threads about chikens besides chickens are lame except canadian chickens canadian chickens are the best by the way chickens are rank. BRENDY: What's with this f***ing wanker? Get your ass off the road, you little chicken-shite! F***in' A! SPAW: Whoa, ok people..........See this? BRAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWPPPPPPPPHHHH? Or rather smell this? It smells better than chickens, believe me..........especially the ones CLETUS had. Gave a fockin' whole new meaning to 'peckers'. SINSULL: CHICKENS ARE MORE TROUBLE THAN THEY ARE WORTH! ESPECIALLY IF YOU'RE TRYING TO LEARN AUTO HARP AND THE CATS WON'T STOP CHASING THEM! Damn capslock!
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Subject: RE: Secret of Life is to ask Questions From: mousethief Date: 02 Nov 00 - 12:53 PM RICK FIELDING: Okay, mudcatters, here's four trivia questions about chickens crossing roads. I'll post the answers this afternoon. 1. Which "hillbilly" artist first recorded the song about the chicken crossing the road? 2. Who sold the most copies of a recording of "Road Crossing Blues" before 1972? 3. On what album was Dylan's "Talking Chicken Blues"? 4. Which mudcatter wrote "The Chicken Crossed The Road"? -----
Alex |
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Subject: RE: Secret of Life is to ask Questions From: Matt_R Date: 02 Nov 00 - 12:53 PM KENDALL: I once lent my chicken to Stan Rogers, but he made some smartasse crack about it resembling my date that night. I wanted to punch him, but I had was doing a recording of Mrs.Ravoon the next day for Folk Legacy. |
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Subject: RE: Secret of Life is to ask Questions From: mousethief Date: 02 Nov 00 - 12:47 PM That's called artistic license, son.
Alex |
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Subject: RE: Secret of Life is to ask Questions From: Matt_R Date: 02 Nov 00 - 12:44 PM Not sure what the dilly-yo is wit the lobotomy scars! Don't think I've ever mentioned lobotomy scars! |
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Subject: RE: Secret of Life is to ask Questions From: McGrath of Harlow Date: 02 Nov 00 - 12:29 PM "From: Matt_R Date: 02-Nov-00 - 12:12 PM Whoa! I don't know what to say!" Good grief! |
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Subject: RE: Secret of Life is to ask Questions From: Matt_R Date: 02 Nov 00 - 12:12 PM Whoa! I don't know what to say! |
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Subject: RE: Secret of Life is to ask Questions From: mousethief Date: 02 Nov 00 - 12:03 PM DOUGR: Well that's one person's interpretation of the chicken's perapatetic activity. I fully believe the chicken never did cross the road, but everybody has to decide for himself and I'll be damned if I'll point you to any websites that speak to the issue; look it up yourself. MATT_R: I don't have time to think about chickens crossing the road. Hell, I've got a final in photographic navel-gazing in three days and I have to take photos of manhole covers and lobotomy scars, not chickens crossing roads. But here's the words to an Oasis song about chickens crossing roads: [snip] PRAISE: Glory to Jesus for road-crossing chickens! My husband, Hardi, can't find time to post here, but he recently preached a sermon about chickens. If anybody wants to talk to me about chickens, PM me or email me at motormice@hotmail.com. GUEST: You f***ing idiots! You think you're so f***ing smart because you can speculate about stupid chickens. I used to have an account here but all this f****ing sh*t about stupid chickens made me delete it. F*** off, all of you! HARPGIRL: I never want to see a thread about chickens here again. This is my opinion and my meta-statement. MOUSETHIEF: Here's a song I just wrote about chickens to a non-folk tune you all probably know, aren't I clever? ---------------
Alex |
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Subject: RE: Secret of Life is to ask Questions From: GUEST,Matt_R Date: 02 Nov 00 - 11:13 AM Theirs was not to question why Theirs was but to do and die |
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Subject: RE: Secret of Life is to ask Questions From: Steve Latimer Date: 02 Nov 00 - 10:51 AM I have no idea how I missed this thread the first time through. This is a feckin' classic. 'Spaw at his aboslute best, the Dylan stuff. Wow. So my six year old nephew you told me this one. Why did the duck cross the road? Because it was the chickens day off. |
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Subject: RE: Secret of Life is to ask Questions From: SINSULL Date: 02 Nov 00 - 09:27 AM To get to the other side???? |
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Subject: RE: Secret of Life is to ask Questions From: GUEST,pitb@bellsouth.net Date: 02 Nov 00 - 12:10 AM What iam i doin here? (spoken in a real southern voice, coupled with that look....like who just peed on my leg) |
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Subject: RE: Secret of Life is to ask Questions From: Date: 14 Sep 99 - 02:48 AM Why did the chicken cross the road? 1: That X was all he could learn how to write. 2: Because it was there. 3: The cute chicks were all on the other side (Everything worthwhile is always where you aren't, even dumb chickens know that much). |
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Subject: RE: Secret of Life is to ask Questions From: teller Date: 13 Sep 99 - 07:09 PM " so much depends upon a red wheelbarrow, glazed with rainwater, beside the white chickens." ( I believe that THIS is the answer to that age-old question....and William Carlos Williams obviously agrees!!!Teller |
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Subject: RE: Secret of Life is to ask Questions From: Penny S. Date: 13 Sep 99 - 04:54 PM I ahve a friend who says its like that in Phoenix. But that isn't planned for pedestrians, is it? This bunch parrot about the safest route, and that we have been given a footpath which is safe, as if we should be grateful, totally disregarding the very basic psychology of wanting to follow a direct route. What now worries me is that by building fences to prevent people following a route at least as safe as theirs, people are now taking dangerous risks, pushing pushchairs across several lanes, leaping fences adjacent to traffic, walking along the roads and so on, determined to follow their choice. Bert's Mobius path best approximates the official route! I have a plan to win by ridicule. Penny |
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Subject: RE: Secret of Life is to ask Questions From: Peter T. Date: 13 Sep 99 - 04:46 PM A friend of mine in Toronto gives a hilarious slide lecture called "Walking to the Ministry of Transportation and Communication". To get from the Ministry to anywhere you have to use your car. If you try and walk you have to cross 10 lanes of traffic (our highway 401), and if you don't want to do that, it is a complete unholy mess. She has these great slides of herself on foot, on a bicycle, etc., trying to get a cup of coffee, meeting friends, shopping in the area. Traffic islands, underpasses, whizzing trucks -- the whole catastrophe. yours, Peter T. |
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Subject: RE: Secret of Life is to ask Questions From: Penny S. Date: 13 Sep 99 - 03:59 PM Friends, you have given me a great gift. I had debated asking if any of you knew any songs relevant to straightening out roads or pathways, because of some disagreements with a local mall over their pedestrian route which "is safest because it keeps pedestrians away from traffic" but actually crosses more roads, and goes a long way out of the way. I wanted something funny to do to draw attention to their unreasonable setup, and those chickens certainly could do that. Why did the chicken cross the road; because that was what the traffic engineer made it do? Penny |
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Subject: RE: Secret of Life is to ask Questions From: Allan C. Date: 10 Sep 99 - 12:46 PM This thread is continued here |
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Subject: RE: Secret of Life is to ask Questions From: Easy Rider Date: 10 Sep 99 - 12:37 PM STEFAN GROSSMAN: Don't ask WHY. Just study every nuance of the original recording, so you can cross the road EXACTLY in the style of the chicken. DAVE VAN RONK:: I woke up this mornin', good chicken on my mind. (3x) She's a good little chicken. Hate to fry her behind. MISSISSIPPI JOHN HURT: Ms Collins wept. Ms Collins moaned. To see her best chicken leaving home. angels fried her in lard. REV. GARY DAVIS:
O' Glory! How happy I am. |
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Subject: RE: Secret of Life is to ask Questions From: Bill D Date: 10 Sep 99 - 11:30 AM We had some chickens, no roads would they cross We had some chickens, no roads would they cross My wife said,"honey, it shore is funny It's warm and sunny, why won't they cross?"
One day a possum came into our yard (I tried to stop...honest...but my fingers demanded I type that!....for 5 whole minutes I had NO control! Evil spirits are about!)
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Subject: RE: Secret of Life is to ask Questions From: Peter T. Date: 10 Sep 99 - 10:49 AM Andres -- shouldn't that be: CARLOS MENEM: There is no other chicken, and no other road. Anyone who says he is the chicken is not to be supported. Anyone else who becomes chicken will not be chicken long. yours, Peter T. |
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Subject: RE: Secret of Life is to ask Questions From: Bert Date: 10 Sep 99 - 09:53 AM Still looks silly in Netscape. |
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Subject: RE: Secret of Life is to ask Questions From: Bert Date: 10 Sep 99 - 09:53 AM Thanks MudGuard > Is this any better? |
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Subject: RE: Secret of Life is to ask Questions From: Jeri Date: 10 Sep 99 - 09:13 AM EDWARD LEAR: There once was a chicken from Boston Who decided to roam and got lost on The far side of the track And she never came back That adventuresome chicken from Boston (Did she ever return, no she never returned...)
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Subject: RE: Secret of Life is to ask Questions From: Roger in Baltimore Date: 10 Sep 99 - 06:35 AM 'Spaw, You have nailed me to the chicken coop wall. Brilliant. Big RiB |
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Subject: RE: Secret of Life is to ask Questions From: Steve Parkes Date: 10 Sep 99 - 04:37 AM H P Lovecraft: To escape from the nameless eldritch horror that slithered behind the walls every night ... Andy Williams: There is no other side - not now, not ever, never! Jack the ripper: Dear Boss, I enclose a chickem leg. T'other one I fried and ate. It was delicious. Tommy Cooper: Chicken - road; road - chicken. Just like that! Alfred, Lord Tennyson: Pass, pass, pass across thy cold, grey road, O fowl ... Ogden Nash 'Pass, pass, pass across thy cold, grey road, O fowl', wrote the poet, And the fowl obligingly passed, passed, passed; Which, seeing as the poet was Alfred, Lord Tennyson, was no surprise, Whereas if it had been me, I would probably have breathed my last. Sir Isaac Newton: A chicken will continue at rest or to move in a straight line until acted upon by a force. Stephen Hawking: When we know that, we will know the mind of God.
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Subject: RE: Secret of Life is to ask Questions From: MudGuard Date: 10 Sep 99 - 02:04 AM Bert, the <strike>, <s> and <u> tags are, according to my HTML reference (German only, but click here to see it anyway), obsolete. They should not be used anymore as there is the "text decoration" in the style sheets now. That might be the reason that Netscape does not support them. MudGuard
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Subject: RE: Secret of Life is to ask Questions From: Escamillo Date: 10 Sep 99 - 02:02 AM Small contribution: CARLOS MENEM (Argentine President) : Deah chiken croses deah rod becos undah my presidence dere IS a rod to cros. Andrés Magré (please tell me when a thread on Presidential jokes is opened) |
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Subject: RE: Secret of Life is to ask Questions From: Big Mick Date: 10 Sep 99 - 01:12 AM You are a sick sumbitch, 'Spaw. I like that in a man. I am laughing so hard that the Mrs. got up to see if I am OK..........You need to take up crafts or something...........Shit, but that was funny. But you need to watch your backside. The FAIR ONE is going to hunt you with a griddle.............That was an absolute classic..........HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA |
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Subject: RE: Secret of Life is to ask Questions From: Sandy Paton Date: 10 Sep 99 - 12:20 AM I guess this must be an example of "thread creep," but, yes, Bob, "Chicken Road" IS on Jonathan Eberhart's album (now a custom cassette). Makes you sick, don't it, when "blatant commercialism" rears its ugly head in the midst of a serious folk discussion such as this one has been. 'SPaw: you're a fockin' genius! Billy Gates |
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Subject: RE: Secret of Life is to ask Questions From: catspaw49 Date: 09 Sep 99 - 10:47 PM Just goes to show how well we get to know each other.....Honest Jeri, I couldn't have done "ME" that well!!! Leej is indeed the author and I just sent him a note saying again how good I thought it was. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: Secret of Life is to ask Questions From: Jeri Date: 09 Sep 99 - 10:43 PM No, 'Spaw - that was YOU talking. You can't fool me for a minute with that fake "Lonesome EJ" in the "From" thingie! I've been LMAO all day, every time I check this thread. (Yours is a classic.) |
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Subject: RE: Secret of Life is to ask Questions From: Dave Swan Date: 09 Sep 99 - 10:40 PM 'spaw, I stand in slack jawed admiration of your genius. I hope that whatever's broke up there don't get fixed. E.S. |
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Subject: RE: Secret of Life is to ask Questions From: catspaw49 Date: 09 Sep 99 - 10:21 PM Yeah, I know Jeri.....but I had to get in the Radio Shack crappy joke, ya know? Did a helluva' job didn't he? Thought I "WAS" reading my own shit. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: Secret of Life is to ask Questions From: Jeri Date: 09 Sep 99 - 10:11 PM 'Spaw, that was still you talking. |
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Subject: RE: Secret of Life is to ask Questions From: catspaw49 Date: 09 Sep 99 - 09:57 PM LMAOWROTF----Just had to get "the boys" involved here didn't you? Well, chicken is a big deal with them so......thanks Leej! It's 2:45??? Where the hell did you get your watch? Radio Shack? Spaw |
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Subject: RE: Secret of Life is to ask Questions From: Lonesome EJ Date: 09 Sep 99 - 09:50 PM CATSPAW: " Truth is it was a ONE-LEGGED CHICKEN that had to HOP across the road in full flight from CLETUS,PAW and THE THREE REGS, who had built up a Hell of an appetite after a solid 4 hours of drinking Everclear and watching X-Rated henflicks- The Chicken was invited to LUNCH, where it was shocked to be confronted by Paw brandishing a Cleaver and the Reg's stomping out a shit-load of mashed potatoes in the sink - A HUGE FRACAS ensued, after which the Chicken fled (although Cletus claimed it went off half-cocked, what with the other half being breaded, deep-fried and served on a sesame seed bun)...The POSSUM proclaimed his marsupial neutrality, volunteering to testify (or TESTE-fry) to the Chicken having raised the eggspectations of both Reg's, and then refusing to shell out...but the case has been THROWN OUT due to a hung jury- which may have only been a rumor although the Forewoman had a Hell of a pair of KNOCKERS on her..." WHAT in GOD's NAME am I DOING??!! It's F*CKING 2:45 AM and I still have to clean all the DRIED-UP CHILI some thoughtless bastard..ummm...OK IT WAS ME!...left in the damn MICROWAVE, and I sit here making up GODDAM CHICKEN STORIES!...KEEE-RIST! |
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Subject: RE: Secret of Life is to ask Questions From: bbelle Date: 09 Sep 99 - 09:41 PM C'mon, 'spaw ... I appreciate your bad humor. Are you gearing up for the Getaway ... moonchild |
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Subject: RE: Secret of Life is to ask Questions From: catspaw49 Date: 09 Sep 99 - 09:29 PM Well, I thank you one and all and I have to say that although I generally just throw a bunch of crap out hoping someone else sees the humor, even when it's bad.........with all possible humility, I gotta' tell you I like this one myself!!! Hope I didn't offend anyone..... and I have a few more to add...but once in awhile I appreciate the approval of friends, so thanks for the "audience." Really!!! Spaw |
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Subject: RE: Secret of Life is to ask Questions From: katlaughing Date: 09 Sep 99 - 07:50 PM I really, really have never laughed so hard, while in the Mudcat, as I did at this! SPAW YOU HAVE OUTDONE YOURSELF! This...This will go down in Mudcat history as one of the very best, very funniest of all postings. BTW, did the chicken have a navel to contemplate? Maybe it crossed because it wanted to peck at the nice shiny quartz crystals that were strewn about? Or, maybe its cosmic master told it to, thereby saving it from being roadkill when that 2 ton tanker truck full of chickenshit came careening around the corner, on the wrong side of the road, so close to the road-crossing chicken it could feel the breeze up its arse! Then, again, perhaps in a past life it lived in the UK and so was used to walking on the opposite side than it did in this lifetime in the US (this chicken IS in the US, right? I am being hemicentric here, Sorry!) Either way, I am sure it did the best it knew how to, at the time and asked to be guided to do that which was for the highest good of all concerned, and...gave thanks that it was so! katstilllaughinghysterically! |
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Subject: RE: Secret of Life is to ask Questions From: Joe Offer Date: 09 Sep 99 - 07:44 PM Gee, even Art Thieme may not be able to get the better of Catspaw in this thread. -Joe Offer, also awestruck- |
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Subject: RE: Secret of Life is to ask Questions From: jon a Date: 09 Sep 99 - 05:58 PM Total lunacy! just what we need to make it through the day a). the chicken has the right to cross the road if it wishes b). the reason why the chicken crosses the road, if it chooses to do so, are it's own buisness. Jon |
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Subject: RE: Secret of Life is to ask Questions From: Barbara Date: 09 Sep 99 - 05:38 PM Great work, 'spaw! ART THIEME: Why did the pervert cross the road? Because he had his ***** stuck in a chicken (but he used a condom). |
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Subject: RE: Secret of Life is to ask Questions From: Allan C. Date: 09 Sep 99 - 02:56 PM 'Spaw, that is truly inspired! You seem to outdo yourself each day. I doubt that I'll know how to act if it gets much funnier around here! |
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