Subject: Lyr Add: ME 'OROSCOPE (from Gracie Fields) From: Jim Dixon Date: 19 Mar 11 - 07:02 PM You can hear or download this song at The Internet Archive. It's song #4 on that page. Here's my transcription. Note that there are a few gaps and uncertain phrases. Please help correct them if you can. ME 'OROSCOPE Haines As sung by Gracie Fields The leader of our Band of 'Ope the other night began it When 'e said ev'ryone was born beneath a lucky planet. ... an' Jupiter an' Mars, So I called upon an eastern bloke to find me lucky stars. He felt me bumps an' read me 'and. It did give me a ...(?), Then threw 'imself into a trance as 'e turned down the light. The smoke was rising from a bowl of incense. Said 'e, "Into the crystal let us grope. Though you've been nipped in the bud, 'Ere's your future clear as mud: It's all written down in me 'oroscope. "To charm your lover, buy a dozen duck eggs. Suck out the whites an' throw away the yolk, An' it's bound to do the trick, If it doesn't make you sick. It's all written down in me 'oroscope. "The crystal isn't clear, But your lucky stone is 'ere. It isn't a common or garden kind of glass stone. It isn't a diamond rare; It's a jewel beyond compare. It's the most expensive tuppenny bit of 'earthstone. "I can see a crisis loomin' in your future. There's some safety pins, a nurse an' a bar o' soap, An' oh, my goodness, Mrs Binns, I can you nursin' twins. It's all written down in me 'oroscope." I buy the papers ev'ry day but not to follow 'orses. I skip the latest politics, the murders an' divorces, Then quickly turn the pages till I come to number three, 'Cause the 'oroscope's the only thing of interest to me. It says today: "Beware of blondes. Your 'earth an' 'ome's in danger. Your 'usband's got entangled with a ginger-'eaded stranger. You're bound to win 'im back again an' spoil 'is new romance, If you buy your lucky perfume an' you spray some on 'is pants." It also says I mustn't do a stroke of work on Mondays, On Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, Fridays, Saturdays or Sundays. If I should go against the stars, I'll soon get grey an' old, So the old man ev'ry Sunday's got to 'ave 'is mutton cold. This morning' in the Daily Force(?), they 'ad a tip for me, When me star's in the ascendant an' me lucky number's three: "Be sure to 'ave a bath upon your birthday, An' use the very best carbolic soap. When you've 'ad a thorough scrub, Give your birthday stone a rub." It's all written down in me 'oroscope. |
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