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Subject: RE: English Country Garden - Parody From: Tradsinger Date: 08 May 19 - 01:06 PM Can you have a parody of a parody? The original tune as collected as a Cotswold Morris tune is called "Country Gardens" and there were no lyrics. The silly lyrics that everyone knows were written by one Robert M Jordan about whom I know nothing. Tradsinger |
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Subject: RE: English Country Garden - Parody From: Dave the Gnome Date: 08 May 19 - 09:29 AM As kids we used to sing "How many crows can you pick from your nose, in an English country garden. You pick 'em and you lick 'em and you roll 'em and you flick 'em in an English country garden." But we were pretty gross :-) |
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Subject: RE: English Country Garden - Parody From: GUEST,Richard Date: 08 May 19 - 09:22 AM I have a dim memory of a song sung to the tune of English Country Garden that has the refrain "At a Melbourne Football final". One verse discusses how none of the players seem to have Anglo Saxon names. I thought it was Barry Humphries but have drawn a blank. Any ideas out there? |
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Subject: RE: English Country Garden - Parody From: GUEST,Jon Date: 29 Jan 19 - 06:33 PM ...and the second verse which I've just rememebered. "Once I had a girlfriend She was a nasty bitch She was so unpredictable. Eventually to leave her I contrived an itch Seeking something more apliable. Now my life is filled with joys Now I only sleep with boys So take my advice and rememember t'what I said There's plenty of us wearing *navy blue and red And some who are even hirable." *a popular colour coordinate in the early 60s with the Melb.Gay community - so I am told. |
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Subject: RE: English Country Garden - Parody From: GUEST,jon Date: 29 Jan 19 - 04:02 PM This is a version I heard in those early unenlightened 1960s around the Melbourne, Australia folk hang outs. "I hate women but men are such fun I adore their gay society Those painted tarts have got me on the run Seeking some new variety With men you can relax you can Wear each other's pants you can And live together where no one objects So who who wants to know the opposite sex Forgive my impropiety." |
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Subject: RE: English Country Garden - Parody From: Jim Carroll Date: 27 Jan 19 - 07:05 AM When I was young Liverpool's "ogre children" (according to the Opies), used to sing: "How many times can you get your hole, In an English country garden£ Jim Carroll |
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Subject: RE: English Country Garden - Parody From: GUEST,Pete Shaw Date: 27 Jan 19 - 04:58 AM Re earlier correspondence, the relevant parody was written by Alan Twelftree (not Twelvetree), who ran Peterborough Folk Club with Mike Herring & Alan Atterson. Alan wrote 3 verses, ("Somehow the flowers")("I can't conceive" at which he would interject "I can't, really")"Somehow it seems that I will never be"). The "I took a look" I believe came from Jasper Carrott. |
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Subject: RE: English Country Garden - Parody From: Steve Parkes Date: 01 Jun 18 - 08:40 AM One of mine from a while back... English country garden bats How many kinds of bats can you find In an English country garden? I’ve got a list, though they don’t always rhyme, But I’m sure you’ll soon forgive me: Whiskered bat and barbastelle, Daubenton’s and pipistrelle— Common, midge or Nathusius’— Flitting all around when the sun goes down In your English country garden. Natterer’s bat enjoys a chat with Brandt’s bat and Leisler’s bat As they fly above your garden. Serotine and lesser horseshoe, noctule and greater horseshoe Flutter by the garden. Brown long-eared and grey long-eared, Good old greater mouse-eared, All live it up with the parti-coloured bat; They all take flight when day turns into night In an English country garden. Bechstein’s … don’t forget the Bechstein’s! © Steve Parkes 2006 |
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Subject: RE: English Country Garden - Parody From: GUEST,Gerry Date: 01 Jun 18 - 08:33 AM Here's the Allan Sherman parody: Here's To The Crabgrass (Parody of Percy Grainger's "Country Gardens") Here's to the crabgrass, Here's to the mortgage, In fact, here's to Suburbia. Lay down your briefcase, Far from the rat race, Where nothing can disturb ya. Uncomplicated, It's what we waited For so long in this city. Come let us go there, Live like Thoreau there, A life of sweet simplicity. Did you set the thermostat? No, I don't know where it's at. Tuesday the Cub Scouts meet again. Walk the dog and cut the grass, Take the kids to dancing class, Jim's Little League got beat again. Can't keep a maid here, No matter what they're paid here, The place has bad publicity. Why did we move here? Don't you remember? To live in sweet simplicity. Here's to mosquitos, Clam dip and Fritos, To golf and bridge and scuba there. Men wearing knee pants, Women in Capri pants, Discussing what's with Cuba there. Each big appliance Treats you with defiance, Until it finally falls apart. Call the repairman, In a week he's there, man, To knock your kitchen walls apart. Tommy's got a bloody nose, Gotta fix the garden hose. Book Of The Month Club came today. Didn't read the last one yet. Yes you did, but you forget. Oh well, they're all the same today. Here's Mrs. Ritter, She's the baby sitter. Tonight we're going joyously Back to the city, Where life is gay and witty, Back to the noise there, That everyone enjoys there. Back to the crush there, Hurry let us rush there, Back to the rat race, Don't forget your briefcase, Back in the groove there, Say why don't we move there. Away from all of this Sweet simplicity. |
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Subject: RE: English Country Garden - Parody From: vectis Date: 01 Jun 18 - 05:55 AM John Cave of Sussex does a parody using this tune. It is about the kids pet rabbits. |
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Subject: RE: English Country Garden - Parody From: David Carter (UK) Date: 31 May 18 - 11:58 AM Grainger arranged it for piano, but it was an older folk tune collected by Cecil Sharp. |
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Subject: RE: English Country Garden - Parody From: GUEST,keberoxu Date: 31 May 18 - 11:38 AM There must be someone, or a few someones, reading this who are ignorant enough that the composer's name, Percy Grainger, draws a blank. There. Someone had to print it. |
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Subject: Lyr Add: ENGLISH COUNTRY GARDEN - parody From: C-flat Date: 31 May 18 - 11:11 AM Further to "Guest Ted"'s post of (much) earlier; The version I do is similar but with an extra verse; Somehow the flowers never seem to grow In my English country garden Here are a few of the reasons that I know And the rest I trust you'll pardon Nettles in the flowerbed, bird droppings on the shed Stick to the walls and harden Oh, why must the weeds all propagate their seeds In my English country garden I had a look at an illustrated book Showing every garden creature But I've got a few too horrible to view That the author dared not feature Anaconda centipedes, Kamikaze bumble bees, Even a vampire robin It takes a gun not a spray to keep the pests at bay In my English country garden. I can't conceive that Adam and Eve Wanted Eden for their garden, I'll venture that they'd have swapped it for a flat, If the church will beg my pardon. When Adam and the serpent met Adam took him for a pet, Serpents can be domesticated yet, There's a few I can name even Adam couldn't tame In my English country garden. I will concede that I shall never be A vegetable grower So I've thought it through and this is what I'll do, And to hell with Percy Thrower Get a load of broken bricks, cover them with ready mix, Spread it and let it harden I'll cultivate a concrete estate In my English country garden. |
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Subject: RE: English Country Garden - Parody From: David Carter (UK) Date: 31 May 18 - 10:44 AM They were on BBC before that (1957 - 1968). Morecambe and Wise went the other way in 1968 of course. |
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Subject: RE: English Country Garden - Parody From: GUEST,jim bainbridge Date: 31 May 18 - 09:52 AM just came across this wish to correct one thing. Pinky & Perky may have been on the BBC at some stage but they were certainly on Thames TV in the 1968-70 period. I know that because do you remember the intro, where they poked through the Thames TV sheet with the programme name on ? well I was the one who made the bloody thing every week- there was no CGI in those days!! |
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Subject: RE: English Country Garden - Parody From: GUEST,Brian Evans Date: 02 Oct 11 - 07:06 PM I saw Diz Disley perform this song several times, in pubs around Amersham and High Wycombe. This would be 1970/71. The only lines I remember specifically are: Half a ton of broken bricks Buy a load of Readymix (* a well-known brand in those days) Pour it and watch it har - ar - den ... What a man. Liked a pint, too. |
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Subject: RE: English Country Garden - Parody From: GUEST,Dave Bishop Date: 02 Jun 11 - 10:11 AM Re Alan Twelvetree at Peterborough Folk Club. I also remember Alan singing this in the mid 1960's. Does Shimrod also remember the one he wrote about the Traffic Warden being most upset about not being able top book a frie engine wrongly parked. Happy times! Who are you Shimrod? |
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Subject: RE: English Country Garden - Parody From: GUEST,Shimrod Date: 23 Mar 11 - 05:08 AM Alex Atterson was one of the founders of Peterborough Folk Club sometime around the mid-60s. One of his fellow Folk Club founders, Alan Twelvetree wrote the 'English Country Gardens' parody and used to sing it regularly at the club. In the 60s a pair of puppet pigs, called 'Pinky and Perky', used to appear on the BBC and jig about and sing songs in silly, high pitched voices (I think that they were part of another programme - but can't remember which one now). One night Alan came to the club full of glee because his 'English Country Gardens' had been sung on TV by the 'Pinky and Perky' pigs. |
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Subject: RE: English Country Garden - Parody From: GUEST,Ted Date: 23 Mar 11 - 04:43 AM Ah - another verse, thanks jim |
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Subject: RE: English Country Garden - Parody From: FolkFella Date: 23 Mar 11 - 04:03 AM Amazing! I've been looking for this on and off for absolutey ages. Then I join Mudcat and hey presto in a matter of days I have such a huge response. Thanks to you, one and all, for this material. What a lovely community I've lucked into. Mic |
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Subject: RE: English Country Garden - Parody From: Jim Dixon Date: 22 Mar 11 - 12:29 PM As for the parody that FolkFella wanted, didn't anyone think of searching Mudcat for the phrase "sparrow droppings on the shed"? If you had, you'd have found it in the DT here: ENGLISH COUNTRY GARDEN (Parody). It's also been posted twice in the forum, here and here. There have been 5 threads with "English Country Garden" in the title, not counting this one. Guest Ted, above, got the right song but missed one of the verses. Now, it's fine to post new versions, but please don't everyone ignore the original request. |
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Subject: Lyr Add: ENGLISH COUNTRY FOLK CLUB From: GUEST,Steamin' Willie Date: 22 Mar 11 - 11:01 AM My mate Mitch from Worksop wrote; ENGLISH COUNTRY FOLK CLUB (George Hill???) How many kinds of singers do you find In an English country folk club? I'll take a bet I know what you get In an English country folk club. Some'll sing a dirty song, Some'll get the words all wrong Some stand supping beer with a finger in their ear, And then softly croon out of key and out of tune, In an English country folk club How many kinds of musicians do you find, In an English country folk club I'll take a bet that I know what you get In an English country folk club Guitars swung across the hip, Mandolins in a dainty grip, Violins caressed, concertinas gently pressed, In and out to the beat of a pipe that plays retreat, In an English country folk club And poets... don't forget your poets. I've took a census of all the audiences In an English country folk club I'll take a bet that I know what you get In an English country folk club Bearded teachers they are found Social workers they are bound Dental technicians and local politicians They just sit around the floor just joining in the chorus Of an English country folk club. I think I got that right. As well as Mitch, I know Ian Mather sings it too. There may be some more verses? I know Ian checks in on Mudcat, he may have a bit more of it. Note from Joe Offer - Bradfordian thinks this was written by George Hill. |
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Subject: Lyr Add: HERE'S TO THE CRABGRASS (Allan Sherman) From: clueless don Date: 22 Mar 11 - 08:44 AM Allan Sherman also wrote a parody of English Country Garden. HERE'S TO THE CRABGRASS Words, Allan Sherman; tune: "Country Gardens" a.k.a. "English Country Garden" As recorded by Allan Sherman with Jacqueline Ward on "My Son, the Nut," 1963.
[AS:] Here's to the crabgrass!
[AS:] Uncomplicated,
[JW:] Did you set the thermostat?
[JW:] Can't keep a maid here,
Here's to mosquitos,
Each big appliance
[JW:] Tommy's got a bloody nose.
[JW:] Here's Mrs. Ritter. |
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Subject: RE: English Country Garden - Parody From: GUEST,Ian Gill Date: 22 Mar 11 - 08:35 AM Tony Rose wrote a parody of this to use as his leaving 'speech' when he quit teaching. It was both personal to the school he was leaving and universal to the state of English schools at the time. He called it 'English Country Classroom'. The hook line was 'let the teachers teach ' , which was the NAS/UWT slogan at the time. I wish I'd had the foresight to record it and/or ask him for a copy. I know he took a lot of care with it since he updated me on its progress every few days 'got the last verse now, this is going to upset a few people, he he..' Tony had a great sense of humour, as I'm sure many of you know. I suppose Laura might have a copy of it, she posts here occasionally. |
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Subject: RE: English Country Garden - Parody From: Jim McLean Date: 22 Mar 11 - 08:29 AM Dave, Dominic also wrote a parody: One part I remeber is: How many of your best friends are Jews, In an English Country Garden, If jackboots were marching which would you choose, In an English Country Garden, Israel or Palastine, Jesus Christ or Einstein, Which one, what one, slowly take your time And maybe we will go to tea, benath the gallows tree, In an English Country Garden. |
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Subject: RE: English Country Garden - Parody From: Dave Hanson Date: 22 Mar 11 - 07:26 AM Jim, it surely must have been your song I was thinking of, I heard someone [ perhaps Dominic ] sing it at the Grass Roots Folk Club in Halifax in the late sixties. Dave H |
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Subject: RE: English Country Garden - Parody From: Wolfhound person Date: 22 Mar 11 - 05:27 AM I could have heard it from any of Diz Disley, Alex Atterson or others in Norwich c. 1969. I remember "Half a ton of broken bricks, several tons of ready-mix" but the words did vary slightly from date to date. Paws |
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Subject: Lyr Add: ENGLISH COUNTRY GARDEN (Rolf Harris) From: Acorn4 Date: 22 Mar 11 - 05:26 AM found it:- ENGLISH COUNTRY GARDEN (Traditional - Re-arranged by Robert Jordan & Cecil Sharp): As recorded by Rolf Harris How many gentle flowers grow In an English country garden? I'll tell you now of some of them I know And those I miss you'll surely pardon: Daffodils and season(?) phlox Meadowsweet and lilies, stocks Gentle lupins and tall hollyhocks Roses, foxgloves, snowdrops and forget-me-nots In an English country garden How many insects build their homes In an English country garden? I'll tell you now of some of them I know, And those I miss I trust you will pardon: Dragonflies and moths and bees Spiders falling from the trees Butterflies sway in the cool gentle breeze There are wasps' empty homes And tiny little gnomes In an English country garden. How many songbirds..... SPOKEN: Actually, I've seen some of these gardens they talk about. And the sort of impression you get is that it's.... Wet underfoot and the leaves are thick with soot In an English country garden. Newspapers torn and strewn across the lawn In an English country garden. Littered garbage in the yards, Little doggies' calling cards, One scraggy rosebud peering through the weeds, For they've all downed tools While they fill their football pools In an English country garden.
Market -- join the Common Market. |
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Subject: RE: English Country Garden - Parody From: Acorn4 Date: 22 Mar 11 - 05:18 AM I'm sure Rolf Harris did a parody of this song. |
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Subject: RE: English Country Garden - Parody From: GUEST,Suibhne Astray Date: 22 Mar 11 - 05:17 AM There's the classic Rolf Harris parody: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_1sXEI91QVY |
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Subject: RE: English Country Garden - Parody From: Dave Sutherland Date: 22 Mar 11 - 05:13 AM The version above is the one that I have heard Diz Disley sing and the one that sprung to mind when I saw this thread. |
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Subject: RE: English Country Garden - Parody From: GUEST,Graham Bradshaw Date: 22 Mar 11 - 05:10 AM The version Fred sang came via Diz Disley I think, and will hopefully be on the new Disley retrospective CD due out later this year. If anybody knows who wrote it, I'd be interested to hear. |
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Subject: Lyr Add: ENGLISH COUNTRY GARDEN (Fred Wedlock) From: GUEST,Ted Date: 22 Mar 11 - 05:05 AM I heard Fred Wedlock singing this years ago. Think I've got it right: Somehow the flowers never seem to grow In my English urban garden Here are a few of the reasons that I know And the rest I hope you'll pardon Nettles in the flowerbed, sparrow droppings on the shed Stick to the walls and harden And ten million weeds a' propagating seeds In my English urban garden (Chorus) La la… I had a look at an illustrated book Showing every garden creature But I've got a few so horrible to view That the author dared not feature Kamikaze bumble bees, anaconda centipedes, Even a vampire robin I need a gun not a spray to keep the pests at bay In my English urban garden. Chorus Clearly I see, I shall never be A vegetable grower So I've decided what I must do And to hell with Percy Thrower Cover it with broken bricks, get a load of ready mix, Spread it and let it harden And then I'll cultivate a concrete estate Not an English urban garden. Chorus |
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Subject: Lyr Add: ENGLISH ROYAL FAMILY (parody) From: Jim McLean Date: 22 Mar 11 - 04:52 AM I also wrote a parody way back in the 60s: THE ENGLISH ROYAL FAMILY How many more did we have in Sixty-four Of the English Royal family? The Queen she had four, with expenses for a score Of the English Royal family Margaret is doing her best trying to keep up with the rest Did she have a little girl or boy? Did Viscount Linley have a brother? Does it matter? It's another Of the English Royal family Marina - time to change Marina ... The Duke of Kent believed that his wife should conceive For the English Royal family So out in Hongkong they increased the merry throng Of the English Royal family But up in Scotland there's the rub, guess who joined the puddin' club .. Princess Alexandra So princes, dukes and peers as well help to increase and to swell The English Royal family Oysters - don't forget the oysters ... |
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Subject: RE: English Country Garden - Parody From: Bo Date: 22 Mar 11 - 04:28 AM What about "The Gardeners Hymn" ? I can't remember the writer's name but the chorus is ..... "All things spray and swattable Disasters great and small All things Paraquatable The Lord God made them all" I'll try and find it all if anyone's interested. Bo |
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Subject: RE: English Country Garden - Parody From: Dave Hanson Date: 22 Mar 11 - 03:23 AM Dominic Behan wrote one called ' The English Royal Family ' many years since I heard it though. Dave H |
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Subject: English Country Garden - Parody From: FolkFella Date: 22 Mar 11 - 02:49 AM I've been reading the threads on Alex Atterson. I was a resident singer at most of the Cornish Folk clubs in the 70s and beyond and was a pal of Alex's. He was a lovely man, knd and helpful to me and I have some tales of interactions withhim, notably one after a gig with The McCalmans in Stirling in early 1973 when he took a drunken me and the company I was was with back to his parent's house for a cuppa. I'm convinced he sang a parody of English Country Garden and have been looking for this for years. John the Fish - another old pal - has no knowledge of it. One of the lines I do remember was 'sparrow droppings on the shed, stick to the walls and harden'. Can anyone help? |
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