Lyr Add: We've Got to Keep Up with the Joneses

Subject: Lyr Add: WE'VE GOT TO KEEP UP WITH THE JONESES
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 24 Mar 11 - 12:07 PM

You can play or download this recording at The Internet Archive. It's song #4 on that page. Here's my transcription:


WE'VE GOT TO KEEP UP WITH THE JONESES
Words by Robert Rutherford. Music by Leslie Elliott, ©1935.
As sung by Gracie Fields, 1935.

There's a family called Jones 'as come live next to us,
An' they're causin' our family no end of a fuss.
They're very posh people. You know by their clothes.
He wears plus-fours an' she talks down 'er nose.
We used to be happy till they came our way.
Now ev'rything's altered, I'm sorry to say,

'Cause we've got to keep up with the Joneses.
We do just whatever they do.
They're so very cork-tipped that Mother got pipped(?)
An' said we would show them who's who.
When dinner is ready, Ma bangs on a gong.
She puts in 'er aitches an' get 'em all wrong,
An' Dad says 'e might 'ave a bath before long,
'Cause we've got to keep up with the Joneses.

Yeah, we've got to keep up with the Joneses.
Last Monday was their washing day,
An' when Mother saw what Mrs Jones wore,
Well, she bought a pair right away.
Says Dad, "Aren't you cold in them things Celanese?"
Says Mother, "I was, till I hit on this wheeze.
I'm wearin' me fleecy ones underneath these,
'Cause we've got to keep up with the Joneses."

Now Dad goes off to work in a collar so neat,
But 'e snatches it off when 'e gets down the street.
Jones kisses 'is wife when 'e goes off to biz,
So Dad says, "I'm 'avin' a basin of this!"
An' just to make sure 'e's doin' things swell,
He kisses the dog an' the tomcat as well.

'Cause we've got to keep up with the Joneses.
They really are terribly swell.
It gave us a jar when old Jones got a car,
So we 'ad to have one as well.
One Saturday evening, Dad brought it across,
But we lost it the following morning, because
The fellow who owned it found out where it was!
But we've got to keep up with the Joneses.

We've got to keep up with the Joneses.
Our manners improve ev'ry day.
Even Gran'ma says, "Pardon!" an' runs down the garden
When 'er food 'as gone down the wrong way.
Our Gert gave our Bert such a sloshing one night!
She said, "Stop that scratchin'! It isn't polite.
When there's company present, you just let 'em bite,
'Cause we've got to keep up with the Joneses."