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Lyr Add: Rhymes [i.e. limericks] (Leslie Sarony)

Jim Dixon 04 May 11 - 02:00 PM
Jim Dixon 05 May 11 - 06:52 PM
Jim Dixon 02 Apr 13 - 11:19 PM
GUEST 08 Jun 15 - 09:08 AM
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Subject: Lyr Add: RHYMES [i.e. limericks] (Leslie Sarony)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 04 May 11 - 02:00 PM

It has been mentioned in several threads that Leslie Sarony wrote a song that contained limericks, but I couldn't find a thread where anyone gave a substantial quote from it, so I decided to give this song its own thread. However, I believe he wrote a sequel; I may add that later.

You can hear this song at The Internet Archive:

RHYMES
Words and music by Leslie Sarony, 1931
As sung by Leslie Sarony, with Jack Hylton's Orchestra, Zonophone 5997

[Side 1 of the record:]

I'm just about to hold a competition.
It's just a little bright idea of mine.
I'm going to write a rhyming composition,
And then leave you to add the ending line.
I'll sing the whole thing first in case of doubt.
The second time, I'll leave the last line out.

There was a young lady of Ealing
Who woke upside down on the ceiling.
She fell on her neck
And she shouted, "By heck!
It's a very peculiar feeling."

(That was a cute little rhyme.
Sing us another one, do.)

There was a young fellow of Cosham
Who took out his false teeth to wash 'em.
His wife said, "Oh, Jack,
If you don't put them back,
La-da, da-da-da, da-da-da, da-ah."1

(That was a cute little rhyme.
Sing us another one, do.)

There was a young man of Calcutta
Who was having a sleep in the gutter.
The heat from the sun
Burned him up like a bun.
La-da, da-da-da, da-da-da, da-ah.2

(That was a cute little rhyme.
Sing us another one, do.)

There was a young man from Kildare
Who was playing at golf on a chair.
On the very last stroke,
The blessed chair broke.
La-da, da-da-da, da-da-da, da-ah.3

[Side 2 of the same record:]

My lim'ricks must have met with approbation.
The fact you turned me over tells me so.
I hope to win still further admiration
By giving you a few more that I know;
And let me say my motto's always been:
I may not be clever but I'm clean!

There was a young fellow named Skinner
Who once took a girl out to dinner.
At a quarter to nine,
They sat down to dine.
La-da, da-da-da, da-da-da, da-ah.4

(That was a cute little rhyme.
Sing us another one, do.)

There was a young man of St. Paul's
Who once did a turn on the halls.
His favourite trick
Was to stand on a stick.
La-da, da-da-da, da-da-da, da-ah.5

(That was a cute little rhyme.
Sing us another one, do.)

There was a young man of South Wales
Who lived upon fruit juice and snails.
When he couldn't get these,
He lived upon cheese.
La-da, da-da-da, da-da-da, da-ah.6

(That was a cute little rhyme.
Sing us another one, do.)

There was a young lady of Hitchin
Who was scratching her nose in the kitchen.
Her mother said, "Rose,
Nuts, I suppose.
La-da, da-da-da, da-da-da, da-ah."7

(That was a cute little rhyme.
Sing us another one, do.)

There was a young lady of Gloucester
Whose parents thought they had lost 'er,
But it came to pass
She was found on the grass,
La-da, da-da-da, da-da-da, da-ah.8

(That was a cute little rhyme.
Sing us another one, do.)

There was a young man of Belgrave
Who was having a rest in a cave.
He said, "I admit
I'm a bit of a [twit*],
La-da, da-da-da, da-da-da, da-ah."9

[* The word is deliberately muffled in the recording. I suppose it could be "shit."]

Possible ending lines, found at various places on the Internet:

1. I'll tread on the buggers and squash 'em.

2. And melted his bollocks like butter.

3. And he finished the game in mid-air. [Yes, I know it's not dirty, but you can make it dirty by changing line 2 to have him doing something different in the chair!]

4. And at twenty to ten it was in 'er.

5. And wiggle around on his balls.

6. From his prick, which he picked with his nails. [Sorry, folks; that's what I found on the Internet.]

7. Line 4 should be: "It's the crabs, I suppose" or "It's the pox, I suppose."
Then line 5 would be: "She said, Yes, and those buggers are itchin'" or "You're right, ma; the buggers are itchin'" or "Ballocks! Get on with your stitchin'."
And it wouldn't be her "nose" she was scratching!

8. Unknown.

9. I've found limericks that end with "But think of the money I save"?but the first two lines are different!


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Subject: Lyr Add: MORE RHYMES (Leslie Sarony)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 05 May 11 - 06:52 PM

You can hear this recording at YouTube. This is my transcription:


MORE RHYMES
Words and music by Leslie Sarony, 1932
As sung by Leslie Sarony, with Jack Hylton & His Orchestra, Imperial 2623,

[Side 1 of the record:]

I think it needs a little explanation
Before I start to sing you some more rhymes.
Why more? I always hear the explanation:
"I've heard the blessed lot a hundred times"
But all the lim'ricks on this disk are new.
Listen as I'll sing a few for you:

There was a young lady named Ray,
Said, "I'll clear out that desk while I may."
She said, "Ah! That's better.
I found that old letter
La-la, la-la-la, la-la-la, la-la."10

(That was a cute little rhyme.
Sing us another one, do.)

There was a young lady of Pinner
Dropped a dynamite pill in the dinner.
Her husband retired.
When his tonsils backfired,
La-la, la-la-la, la-la-la, la-la.11

(That was a cute little rhyme.
Sing us another one, do.)

There was a young man of Madras,
For a fancy-dress ball had a pass.
He thought: How exciting
To go as a whiting!
La-la, la-la-la, la-la-la, la-la."12

(That was a cute little rhyme.
Sing us another one, do.)

There was a young fellow of Leeds
Who swallowed a packet of seeds.
The silly young ass
Was covered in grass,
La-la, la-la-la, la-la-la, la-la.13

(That was a cute little rhyme.
Sing us another one, do.)

There was a young girl of Tralee
Who was chased by a big chimpanzee.
She murmured, "How horrid!
Pink nose, no forehead!
La-la, la-la-la, la-la-la, la-la."14

[Side 2 of the same record:]

There once was a giddy young banker
Who had tiddlywinks, ...(?), Crown and Anchor.
He got all the four(?)
From the lady next door,
La-la, la-la-la, la-la-la, la-la.15

(That was a cute little rhyme.
Sing us another one, do.)

There was a young lady named Winnie
Who had a pain under her pinnie.
The doctor, they say,
Only told her today
La-la, la-la-la, la-la-la, la-la.16

(That was a cute little rhyme.
Sing us another one, do.)

There was an old bey of Algiers
Who said to harem, "My dears,
Though you may think it odd o' me,
I've given up chirotomy(?),
La-la, la-la-la, la-la-la, la-la."17

(That was a cute little rhyme.
Sing us another one, do.)

There was a young lady named Trotter
Who tried hard to be a pole-squatter.
She said, "Dearie me!
If I keep drinking tea,
La-la, la-la-la, la-la-la, la-la."18

(That was a cute little rhyme.
Sing us another one, do.)

There was a young fellow named Reg
Who was kissing a girl in a hedge,
When along came his wife
With a big carving knife,
La-la, la-la-la, la-la-la, la-la.19

(That was a cute little rhyme.
Sing us another one, do.)

There was an old fellow named Gandhi
Who went in a pub for a shandy.
He wafted(?) his cloth
To wipe off the froth,
And the barmaid said, "Blimey! That's handy!"

*
Possible ending lines, found at various places on the Internet:

10. Unknown

11. Unknown

12. Unknown

13. And couldn't sit down for the weeds.

14. Unknown

15. Unknown

16. He'd give her relief for one guinea. [OK, I made that up.]

17. [Line 4 should be "I've given up sodomy."] "Tonight there'll be fucking!" (Loud cheers).

18. Unknown

19. And cut off his meat and two veg.


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Subject: Lyr Add: RHYMES [limericks] (from Frank Crumit)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 02 Apr 13 - 11:19 PM

Here's Frank Crumit's version. Note that all the limericks, except the introductory "clean" one, are different from Sarony's. I don't have any completing lines for limericks 2-8. Your suggestions are welcome.


RHYMES
As sung by Frank Crumit on "Frank Crumit Returns (1920-1938)"

I'm just about to hold a competition.
It's just a little bright idea of mine.
I'm going to write a rhyming composition,
And then leave you to add the ending line.
I'll sing the whole thing first in case of doubt.
The second time, I'll leave the last line out.

1. Now there was a young lady from Wheeling
Who walked upside down on the ceiling.
She fell on her neck
And she shouted, "By heck,
It's a very peculiar feeling!"

(That was a cute little rhyme. Sing us another one, do.)

All right?

2. There once was a guy from Savannah
Who slipped on a peel of banana.
He let out a squeak
'Cause his hip sprang a leak.
(La-da, da-da-da, da-da-da, da-da.)

3. Mr. Jones is a golfing fanatic,
But his game is rather erratic.
He's got a bad stance.
It's the fault of his pants.
(La-da, da-da-da, da-da-da, da-da.)

(That was a cute little rhyme. Sing us another one, do.)

Very well?

4. There was a young fellow named Sackett
Who was in some sort of a racket.
He went out for a ride
With some friends by his side.
(La-da, da-da-da, da-da-da, da-da.)

5. There once was a fellow named Gandhi
Who wore the first sheet that was handy.
That was all he would wear.
If by chance it would tear,
(La-da, da-da-da, da-da-da, da-da.)

(That was a cute little rhyme. Sing us another one, do.)

Quite so!

6. Now this was a fellow from Kansas
Whose favorite flower was pansies.
He's learning to sew,
But his dad doesn't know.
(La-da, da-da-da, da-da-da, da-da.)

7. There was a young fellow from Camden
Who put on the brakes and he jammed 'em.
But it was too late,
For along came a freight.
(La-da, da-da-da, da-da-da, da-da.)

8. There was a young girl named Melinda
Who used to doll up by her window.
We would wait ev'ry night,
But she'd turn out the light.
(La-da, da-da-da, da-da-da, da-da.)


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Rhymes [i.e. limericks] (Leslie Sarony)
From: GUEST
Date: 08 Jun 15 - 09:08 AM

"Who had tiddlywinks, ...(?), Crown and Anchor."

The second one is Ludo


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