BS: Chongo: Self-promoter & hatemonger?

Subject: BS: Chongo: Self-promoter & hatemonger?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 May 11 - 05:33 PM

Democrats and Republicans both have stepped up their character attacks on APP candidate for president Chongo Chimp in recent days, indicating clearly that they are quite concerned about the threat Chongo can pose to their separate ambitions in 2012.

Well-known Democratic mouthpiece Solomon Goldstein says:

"Given many of the outrageous things he (Chongo) has done, he can only be considered a serious candidate by the most cynical or uninformed. He is first, last, and always only a self-promoter. Nevertheless, his repeating of the ridiculous and long-discredited "specism" canard is nothing less than hate-mongering. He is cynically playing the species card in an attempt to divide and conquer America."

Republicans, meanwhile, are focusing their main attacks on the fact that Chongo was not born in the USA and is not a Christian. To quote Republican enfante terrible Joanne Gilchrist:

"No one in this country can abide the idea of an openly pagan and Unamerican ape occupying the White House. It's unthinkable. Disgusting! It's even worse than Obama...and you know how hard it is for me to say that."

*****

The promoters of the idea that because Chongo was not born in the USA, he must lack American values have in truth just never accepted the reality of a non-human president. The root of such talk, if you "look under the hood" is patently specist. And all it does is bring down the level of discourse and distract us from the real issues.

Specism is THE ugly underbelly of the movement to deny Chongo his rightful place in history. Scratch a Democrat or a Republican and you know what you will find just under the surface? A specist, that's what. Oh, they pretend to believe in democracy, but what they'd really like to do with apes and monkeys is lock them up in filthy cages, throw them a peanut now and then, and condemn them to a life of incarceration, embarrassment, medical experimentation, and bit parts in extremely bad movies, starring opposite extremely bad human actors.

A vote for Chongo is a vote for freedom and equality! Remember that in 2012.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo: Self-promoter & hatemonger?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 May 11 - 06:23 PM

Oh, and it's a vote for better movies too... ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo: Self-promoter & hatemonger?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 May 11 - 07:21 PM

Forthcoming APP bumper stickers:

Chongo - He's smarter than Sarah Palin!

Chongo - He's hairier than Donald Trump!

Chongo - He's not AFRAID to admit he was born in Africa!

Chongo - You KNOW he's THE ONE.

Chongo - More fun than a barrel of monkeys!

Chongo - His aim is true.

Chongo - Disapproved of by many. Surpassed by NONE.

Chongo - Idiots don't like him. Are you an idiot? Or are you gonna Vote for Chongo? Your choice in 2012.

Vote Chongo - Bite the Bullet in 2012

Go APE! Vote for Chongo in 2012.

Want guns? Lots of guns??? Vote for Chongo in 2012!

Stop exporting violence and bring it home to America! Vote Chongo in 2012.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo: Self-promoter & hatemonger?
From: GUEST,Don McBride
Date: 05 May 11 - 07:29 PM

You gotta ask yerself one simple qwestion.

Who would you rather have runnin' the cuntry?

Steven Harper?

Or a goddam monkey?









Hmmmmm....





Well, I think the choice is pretty flippin' obvieous on this one! ;-D

- Don

p.s. - Put yer money in banana futuers!

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo: Self-promoter & hatemonger?
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 05 May 11 - 11:02 PM

" Beliefs You Can Change In----Chongo in 2012...or '13...or '11"

GfS

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo: Self-promoter & hatemonger?
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 May 11 - 11:32 PM

Where was Chongo between April 28 and May 2, 2011? If he was a true, red-blooded American he'd have been on USS Carl Vinson. But he wasn't. He was drunk in some cheap bar room on the Sleazy Side of Chicago, sleeping it off among the sawdust, cigar butts, spit, and vomit.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo: Self-promoter & hatemonger?
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 05 May 11 - 11:49 PM

Rapparee: "He was drunk in some cheap bar room on the Sleazy Side of Chicago, sleeping it off among the sawdust, cigar butts, spit, and vomit."

White House spokesman reported today that Obama was in Chicago, during that same time, for a high level meeting with his chief adviser, by the way, but the President was unfortunately unable to attend the press conference, due to a headache and upset stomach!!

GfS

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo: Self-promoter & hatemonger?
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 May 11 - 09:53 AM

The Pres is far, far more articulate than Chongo. Chongo says nothing but "Ook, ook, ook, [BARF!!] ook, ook, ook" and repeats that until he falls exhausted from the mental effort.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo: Self-promoter & hatemonger?
From: Amos
Date: 06 May 11 - 09:57 AM

Yeah, but he does it with feeling.


A

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo: Self-promoter & hatemonger?
From: Bob the Postman
Date: 06 May 11 - 10:52 AM

Maybe the reason we can't see the death photo is because it includes a grinning bandolier-wearing stogie-chomping ass-kicking chimpanzee from Chicago.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo: Self-promoter & hatemonger?
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 06 May 11 - 11:09 AM

I thought Chongo was a Canadian from Blind River.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo: Self-promoter & hatemonger?
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 06 May 11 - 11:22 AM

NO! The idiot from Blind River ain't a chimp, he's a human! Well, he's barely human, I guess...but he definitely ain't me. I woulda gladly taken part in the raid to get Osama Bin Laden, but I was not asked to.

There been some really ignorant remarks here regardin' my ability to use words. I take offense at that! It is true that I ain't as articulate as Barack Obama. Who the hell is? That guy can talk the paint off a steel fence. He goes on and on and on...and it all sounds absolutely wonderful, but then nothin' really happens. He is an empty suit with a golden voice.

Now me on the other hand...I say a few choice words, roll up my sleeves, and the job gets DONE!. If they had given me the job of catchin' Osama Bin Laden, he would've been caught way back in late 2001...and alive too. I woulda brought him back alive to the USA and he woulda gone to trial. Yessiree. But they did not do the smart thing. They did not call up Chongo Chimp. The rest is history.

- Chongo

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo: Self-promoter & hatemonger?
From: Bob the Postman
Date: 06 May 11 - 12:02 PM

So WERE you the unconscious toper sprawled in the bar-room sawdust, Chongo? Or was the hirsute primate to which Rapparee alludes in fact Donald Trump on another bender?

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo: Self-promoter & hatemonger?
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 May 11 - 02:10 PM

Nah, it was Chongo. Three cops recognized him and were able to remove his sap, gat, shiv and Chicago typewriter (as well as his wallet and shoes) while he was out. He sorta woke up once but a tap from his sap cured THAT.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo: Self-promoter & hatemonger?
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 06 May 11 - 03:31 PM

Chongo the Chimp: "NO! The idiot from Blind River ain't a chimp, he's a human!"

How many times have I told you NOT to do that..you'll go BLIND!!??!!!!!










>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>V












Hey Dad, we're over here!

GfS

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo: Self-promoter & hatemonger?
From: gnu
Date: 06 May 11 - 03:36 PM

Trump does resemble an orangutan. In hair and mind.

My apologies to all orangutans.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo: Self-promoter & hatemonger?
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 06 May 11 - 06:24 PM

I agree. Trump does resemble an Orangutan. A really UGLY ONE!

GfS, you oughta shut yer yap in case I get real irritated witchuo. Know what I'm sayin'? It was a .44 magnum. I know what calibre I'm usin' when I use it.

- Chongo

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo: Self-promoter & hatemonger?
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 May 11 - 06:55 PM

Really? Only a .44 mag? I use a .454 Casull, myself, and I'm thinking of upgrading. Never know when you might need to stop a runaway train with a handgun.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo: Self-promoter & hatemonger?
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 06 May 11 - 07:19 PM

That's right. Or a chargin' rhino. Or a flange of gorillas. Or a pounce of wild alligators. You just can't be too careful these days.

- Chongo

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo: Self-promoter & hatemonger?
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 06 May 11 - 10:43 PM

Awww, They took it off!...I was LMAO!!

GfS

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo: Self-promoter & hatemonger?
From: J-boy
Date: 06 May 11 - 11:16 PM

Keep your hands off me you damn dirty Ape! Soylent Green is people!

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo: Self-promoter & hatemonger?
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 07 May 11 - 01:47 AM

Wrong thread, Chongo!! You must be talking about(with slight editing):

Subject: RE: BS: I have an opinion
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 06 May 11 - 05:58 PM

Chongo: "The last time I got fed up with my own damned opinion I shot out the bathroom mirror with a .44 magnum."

Oh, tell the truth..we KNOW you were in the bathroom a long time......we KNOW you were looking in the mirror.....we KNOW it was for a long time......we KNOW you shot the mirror....but you KNOW as well as I, it wasn't with a .44 magnum!!!
Just keepin' ya' honest!!

GfS

P.S. Next time wipe the mirror, and clean up your messes!

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo: Self-promoter & hatemonger?
From: WalkaboutsVerse
Date: 07 May 11 - 03:16 PM

Chongo: banana-eater & chest-banger?

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo: Self-promoter & hatemonger?
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 May 11 - 03:24 PM

Chongo: Self-hater and promotermonger?

Chongo: Self-monger and promoterhater?

Chongo: All of the above?

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo: Self-promoter & hatemonger?
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 07 May 11 - 04:20 PM

Rapparee: Delusional egomaniac and bowdlerizer?

Rapparee: Lousy shot and 3rd rate post hole digger?

Rapparee: Disgrace to America and acute embarrassment to Idaho?

Or all of the above?

- Chongo

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo: Self-promoter & hatemonger?
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 07 May 11 - 06:29 PM

.....and the beat goes on....

GfS

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo: Self-promoter & hatemonger?
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 May 11 - 08:04 PM

Dear Mr. Chongo,

I can out-shoot you with any weapon you care to name, from a sling to an 81mm mortar. Name your place and time: any weapon, any range out to a kilometer and a half (1,500 meters), any caliber. This challenge includes grenades (hand, rifle, or weapon-launched), flamethrowers, rifles, shotguns, muskets, submachine guns (i.e., machine pistols) of any country, pistols, crew-served weapons (e.g., mortars or quad fifties) and so forth. It also includes spears, bayonets, knives, clubs, maces, morning stars, swords of all types, la savate, and braggin' about fightin' (which you are quite good at).

You should be aware that I am a quiet, unexciting sort of guy unless I get riled up. THEN the mountains tremble at my name! The waters part in fear and thunderstorms run and hide! Volcanoes and earthquakes bow to me as their master. I'm then meaner than a buckskin dun with a burr under his saddle, an alligator with the toothache and a Tasmanian Devil with his fight up all rolled into one! I've gouged out more eyes, bit off more ears, and spit out more noses than any other ten men. My Father was the hurricane and my mother was the plague and I'm cousin to TNT, C4, dynamite, and gunpowder! When I'm riled up I'm as techy as nitroglycerin and I'm the bringer of Chaos!

Please don't get me riled up, because then I'm not responsible for my actions.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo: Self-promoter & hatemonger?
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 08 May 11 - 12:36 AM

LOL!!! Ook! Ook!

Nice rant, Rapparee. That was the best bit of tough guy boastin' I have heard in years. Yes, years. Impressive. I am takin' notes.

I figger maybe we could use you on my speechwritin' team for the 2012 campaign.

- Chongo

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo: Self-promoter & hatemonger?
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 08 May 11 - 10:13 PM

Wahoo, Rapparee. Are you descended from Mike Fink, by any chance?

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo: Self-promoter & hatemonger?
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 May 11 - 10:23 PM

I grew up on the banks of the Father of Waters, the Mississippi, just twenty miles from where my old friend Sam Clemens grew up. In fact, Sam and me used to go drinkin' together. I remember the night we stole a steamboat, the Thelma Jo, and took her up to Keokuk just for fun. We got as far as Lagrange when she blew up, because Sam had tied down the pop-off valve so we could make better speed. We were blown two hundred feet into the air and came down in the town of Meyer -- and just shook ourselves off and went into the tavern and kept on drinking.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo: Self-promoter & hatemonger?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 May 11 - 03:26 PM

Your life is a tale of folly, my good man. ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo: Self-promoter & hatemonger?
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 10 May 11 - 12:27 PM

Incidentally, and this is true, I have an inscribed set of 'Mark Twain's' books, printed during his lifetime, and autographed....I think he might have been before your time, to be pulling off those shenanigans!..but you post was still entertaining!

GfS

P.S, Also have a contemporary of the author copy of, 'Evangeline' by Longfellow. Was passed down through our family.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo: Self-promoter & hatemonger?
From: gnu
Date: 10 May 11 - 01:08 PM

GfS... wow!

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo: Self-promoter & hatemonger?
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 10 May 11 - 01:41 PM

True story!
BTW, if you've ever actually read Twain, as opposed to just watching the movies, you'd see why he is so brilliant!!!..yet there are morons who wish to ban his books, for his 'politically incorrect' language!!!!

GfS

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo: Self-promoter & hatemonger?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 May 11 - 03:34 PM

Yes, Mark Twain is brilliant...virtually without peer, in my opinion. My favorite Mark Twain book is his extraordinary biography of Joan of Arc. My next favorite to that is Huckleberry Finn.

Mark Twain himself, by the way, considered "Joan of Arc" to be his finest book. He published it under a psuedonym, because he wanted it to be read not as "a Mark Twain book", but strictly on its own merits. Accordingly, it sold in quite small numbers at the time. Only some time later did the general public become aware that it was written by Mark Twain.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo: Self-promoter & hatemonger?
From: Bill D
Date: 10 May 11 - 03:38 PM

Twain remarked in his article on "The Awful German Language", that it was frustrating to discover that "damit" was not a cuss word.....

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo: Self-promoter & hatemonger?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 May 11 - 04:43 PM

I can't agree with Mr Twain about the "awful" German language. I think that German, when well-spoken, is quite a nice sounding language. It can sound gentle, cultured, and harmonious. There is no need to bark the words out in stereotypical "Colonel Klink" or "Hitler raving" style, despite what Hollywood would have you believe.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo: Self-promoter & hatemonger?
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 10 May 11 - 10:31 PM

I don't think it was the pronunciation that bothered him, LH. It was the genders.

Why, for example, should a fork be masculine, a spoon be feminine, but a little girl be neuter?

I agree with you about the pronunciation. I like German too.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo: Self-promoter & hatemonger?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 May 11 - 11:41 PM

For a really complicated language, try Latin. ;-) Even more complex than German. The English language has just one Achilles' heel...spelling that makes little or no sense at all.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo: Self-promoter & hatemonger?
From: GUEST
Date: 11 May 11 - 12:38 AM

Twain was brilliant. I've read a lot of him, and my late wife read just about everything.

Read The Great Dark. Read On The Science Of Onanism (if you dare!). I could go on...

But I eagerly await reading Chongo. And I eagerly await his appearance in televised debates. This country needs a fresh (simian) face and his unique point of view, unsullied by our moribund two-party system.

Chongo in 2012!

Jay

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo: Self-promoter & hatemonger?
From: GUEST,BrooklynJay
Date: 11 May 11 - 12:40 AM

What the hell happened to my cookie?

That was me just now.

Jay

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo: Self-promoter & hatemonger?
From: Rusty Dobro
Date: 11 May 11 - 04:07 AM

We have a long history of electing apes in the UK, and look where that's got us!

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo: Self-promoter & hatemonger?
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 May 11 - 03:57 PM

Chongo Chimp was recently found in flagrante delicto with Shame McBride. They were throwing...feces...at each other, each claiming to be getting ready for political campaigning.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo: Self-promoter & hatemonger?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 May 11 - 04:19 PM

Liar, liar, pants on fire!

You were paid off by Obama to say that, weren't you?

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo: Self-promoter & hatemonger?
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 May 11 - 07:09 PM

There are videos and photos.....

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo: Self-promoter & hatemonger?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 May 11 - 11:29 PM

Videos and photos can be faked....

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo: Self-promoter & hatemonger?
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 May 11 - 12:22 AM

Not these. They were taken by the team of seals Chongo hired to perform disgusting acts with him and Shame. Seal team videos and photos aren't faked.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo: Self-promoter & hatemonger?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 May 11 - 09:12 AM

Seals? You mean like...Jesse Ventura?

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo: Self-promoter & hatemonger?
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 May 11 - 11:16 AM

I mean highly trained seals...seals with a capital "S".

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo: Self-promoter & hatemonger?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 May 11 - 12:41 PM

I wonder if Jesse could do that.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo: Self-promoter & hatemonger?
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 May 11 - 01:02 PM

As a former "pro wresteler" he could probably balance his checkbook on the end of his...never mind.