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BS: If you were an exotic dancer

Dave Swan 17 Sep 99 - 10:18 AM
Allan C. 17 Sep 99 - 10:26 AM
katlaughing 17 Sep 99 - 10:26 AM
catspaw49 17 Sep 99 - 10:45 AM
alison 17 Sep 99 - 10:50 AM
Neil Lowe 17 Sep 99 - 10:50 AM
Big Mick 17 Sep 99 - 10:55 AM
Bert 17 Sep 99 - 11:11 AM
WyoWoman 17 Sep 99 - 11:26 AM
catspaw49 17 Sep 99 - 11:26 AM
Jack (who is called Jack) 17 Sep 99 - 11:29 AM
WyoWoman 17 Sep 99 - 11:31 AM
Big Mick 17 Sep 99 - 11:46 AM
WyoWoman 17 Sep 99 - 11:47 AM
Peter T. 17 Sep 99 - 12:03 PM
Cara 17 Sep 99 - 12:05 PM
Jack (who is called Jack) 17 Sep 99 - 12:06 PM
Jigger 17 Sep 99 - 12:07 PM
Bert 17 Sep 99 - 12:10 PM
sophocleese 17 Sep 99 - 12:12 PM
WyoWoman 17 Sep 99 - 12:16 PM
Neil Lowe 17 Sep 99 - 12:32 PM
harpgirl 17 Sep 99 - 12:37 PM
lamarca 17 Sep 99 - 12:51 PM
Rick Fielding 17 Sep 99 - 12:55 PM
annamill 17 Sep 99 - 01:20 PM
campfire 17 Sep 99 - 01:22 PM
Bert 17 Sep 99 - 01:26 PM
katlaughing 17 Sep 99 - 01:35 PM
catspaw49 17 Sep 99 - 01:36 PM
Peter T. 17 Sep 99 - 01:38 PM
annamill 17 Sep 99 - 01:46 PM
JedMarum 17 Sep 99 - 02:01 PM
Max 17 Sep 99 - 02:06 PM
catspaw49 17 Sep 99 - 02:10 PM
WyoWoman 17 Sep 99 - 02:15 PM
Barbara Shaw 17 Sep 99 - 02:24 PM
Peter T. 17 Sep 99 - 02:25 PM
Margo 17 Sep 99 - 02:31 PM
bobby's girl 17 Sep 99 - 02:34 PM
Melodeon 17 Sep 99 - 02:36 PM
JedMarum 17 Sep 99 - 02:37 PM
katlaughing 17 Sep 99 - 02:38 PM
annamill 17 Sep 99 - 02:41 PM
MMario 17 Sep 99 - 02:50 PM
Bert 17 Sep 99 - 02:58 PM
sophocleese 17 Sep 99 - 03:05 PM
Jigger 17 Sep 99 - 03:26 PM
K~~ 17 Sep 99 - 03:51 PM
Marion 17 Sep 99 - 03:57 PM

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Subject: If you were an exotic dancer...
From: Dave Swan
Date: 17 Sep 99 - 10:18 AM

If you were an exotic dancer or other worker in the adult entertainment industry, you might want to assume another name. A friend has brought us the following formula. First name: Your first dog (or turtle or chicken or hamster). Last name: The street where you lived when you had him.

Thus: Dave Swan becomes Sam Euclid, a square jawed guy with a slide rule and a thong,

pj becomes Tina Montrose. Need I say more?

S.E. Bronson becomes Blitzen Mayberry, a name just right for rabbit fur camel shackles and a biker vest.

Anyone?

E.S.


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Subject: RE: BS: If you were an exotic dancer
From: Allan C.
Date: 17 Sep 99 - 10:26 AM

Tasty Grove


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Subject: RE: BS: If you were an exotic dancer
From: katlaughing
Date: 17 Sep 99 - 10:26 AM

Let's see, you're not gonna believe this one:

Dog: Tramp Riverview! I guess that's better than Wrinkles Twelfth Road (or whatever number the darn place was)!

Cat: that I remember first....Sir Lancelot Riverview!

Maybe the turtle would be better: Aliki "G" Road... Naw, I think I'll have to find a different formula, El Swanno!

Fun to think of, though!


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Subject: RE: BS: If you were an exotic dancer
From: catspaw49
Date: 17 Sep 99 - 10:45 AM

Uh, huh................Ooboy.............Okay ...and plant a big one btween my coat vent El Swanno..

"Taffy Eastport"

Right then............

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: If you were an exotic dancer
From: alison
Date: 17 Sep 99 - 10:50 AM

Brandy Sandhill.


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Subject: RE: BS: If you were an exotic dancer
From: Neil Lowe
Date: 17 Sep 99 - 10:50 AM

Stretch Letcher....hmmmm. Kind of has a symmetrical appeal, don't you think?


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Subject: RE: BS: If you were an exotic dancer
From: Big Mick
Date: 17 Sep 99 - 10:55 AM

Daisy Orleans. I will never live this or the thong down. Shit.

Mick


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Subject: RE: BS: If you were an exotic dancer
From: Bert
Date: 17 Sep 99 - 11:11 AM

Pat Marlow


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Subject: RE: BS: If you were an exotic dancer
From: WyoWoman
Date: 17 Sep 99 - 11:26 AM

Omigod, I love this!

Sin-Sin Drew!!!

Yesssss!

ww


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Subject: RE: BS: If you were an exotic dancer
From: catspaw49
Date: 17 Sep 99 - 11:26 AM

*** APPEARING NIGHTLY *** LIVE SHOWS *** NO COVER ***

XXX rated"Daisy Orleans and Taffy Eastport"XXXrated

--- EXOTIC ACTS --- THONGS --- POTATOES ---

### must have valid ID to enter ####


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Subject: RE: BS: If you were an exotic dancer
From: Jack (who is called Jack)
Date: 17 Sep 99 - 11:29 AM

I am Muffy 252.

Of course if its open to cats I become

Tasha Pennfield.

As for exotic dancing, people who have seen me try have often remarked as politely as they could muster, "Thats a rather ...um... exotic dancing style you have".


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Subject: RE: BS: If you were an exotic dancer
From: WyoWoman
Date: 17 Sep 99 - 11:31 AM

Jack, I think it's because of the way you make the tassles go in opposite directions...Not many of us can do that.

ww


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Subject: RE: BS: If you were an exotic dancer
From: Big Mick
Date: 17 Sep 99 - 11:46 AM

I knew that f##ker would not let this pass. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Big Mick


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Subject: RE: BS: If you were an exotic dancer
From: WyoWoman
Date: 17 Sep 99 - 11:47 AM

Mick -- the image of you and that thong are as deeply imbedded in our imaginations as that potato was imbedded in ... oh, nivver mind...

ww


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Subject: RE: BS: If you were an exotic dancer
From: Peter T.
Date: 17 Sep 99 - 12:03 PM

Daisy, Taffy, meet Ting-Hao Truax (from the James Bond film, Never Say Goodbye to a Gold Thunderball Twice). yours, Peter T.


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Subject: RE: BS: If you were an exotic dancer
From: Cara
Date: 17 Sep 99 - 12:05 PM

Lollipop Forest Hills.


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Subject: RE: BS: If you were an exotic dancer
From: Jack (who is called Jack)
Date: 17 Sep 99 - 12:06 PM

Spaw,

Didn't Taffy and Daisy's live act get shut down once for including lewd acts with possums, or is that just a rumor?


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Subject: RE: BS: If you were an exotic dancer
From: Jigger
Date: 17 Sep 99 - 12:07 PM

Well, I suppose this is as good an introduction to all you 'catters as any...

If I were an exotic dancer, I'd be Jigger St. Clair.

But you can call me Luna.


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Subject: RE: BS: If you were an exotic dancer
From: Bert
Date: 17 Sep 99 - 12:10 PM

Hey, welcome aboard Jigger, er sorry, Luna. This is a good thread to start with, crazy from the word go. You'll fit in real well. Just keep out if the way of Taffy Eastport.

Bert


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Subject: RE: BS: If you were an exotic dancer
From: sophocleese
Date: 17 Sep 99 - 12:12 PM

Well I'd be Clapton Parkhill, anybody got a better place to be clapped on?

Sophocleese


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Subject: RE: BS: If you were an exotic dancer
From: WyoWoman
Date: 17 Sep 99 - 12:16 PM

I'm saving this thread forever. Just in case I ever want to write a novel about a home for old exotic dancers...

Hey! There's an idea. We could do an episodic t.v. drama, a la' "E.R." or "Friends" (ok, ok, so that's not preCISEly a drama...nor even actually a comedy) about a home outside Las Vegas for exotic dancers whose tassles don't tilt anymore, so to speak ....

ww


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Subject: RE: BS: If you were an exotic dancer
From: Neil Lowe
Date: 17 Sep 99 - 12:32 PM

...and call it "Gravity's Lameglow".....


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Subject: RE: BS: If you were an exotic dancer
From: harpgirl
Date: 17 Sep 99 - 12:37 PM

...cooie hill?


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Subject: RE: BS: If you were an exotic dancer
From: lamarca
Date: 17 Sep 99 - 12:51 PM

Oh, boy (or girl)! I guess I would be

****Ginger Eldorado****

(although adopting the name of our "intellectually challenged" cocker spaniel is hard - talk about dumb blondes...)

My friends on the folk festival Operations crew circuit fondly remember my "Chain Dance" late one night on stage at the Sylvan Theater near the Washington Monument...

It's really amazing what can be done with the prehensile tail of an opossum!


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Subject: RE: BS: If you were an exotic dancer
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 17 Sep 99 - 12:55 PM

All the best from "Duke St. Andrews". My good wife "Kate Kingston", echoes these sentiments and wonders if "McKnees" would have made the Glasgow police force as "Goldfish Dunard"!

Had I decided to become a male stripper at the age of six, I would have been forced to use the Moniker "Bootsie Cote de Neiges".

Rick


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Subject: RE: BS: If you were an exotic dancer
From: annamill
Date: 17 Sep 99 - 01:20 PM

SNOWBALL SUMMER (I'd be damn good too)

Luna, that's my maiden (if I ever was one) name.

love, annap


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Subject: RE: BS: If you were an exotic dancer
From: campfire
Date: 17 Sep 99 - 01:22 PM

Geez, I would have been Ginger Greentree, but since Ginger has already been taken, above, I'll have to go with the cat instead - Pixie GreenTree. Of course, before we got Pixie, her name was "Princess Powderpuff".....I guess I wouldn't need another last name then, would I?

If I were male, though, I'd use the current dog and location - Bentley Bluemound has a nice ring to it, don't you think?

campfire


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Subject: RE: BS: If you were an exotic dancer
From: Bert
Date: 17 Sep 99 - 01:26 PM

Glad to see you're still alive Snowball Summer. Hope you weren't too inconvenienced by the Hurricane.


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Subject: RE: BS: If you were an exotic dancer
From: katlaughing
Date: 17 Sep 99 - 01:35 PM

That's Maiden Luna, too! Good to see you on here, annap. Got a little worried.

kat


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Subject: RE: BS: If you were an exotic dancer
From: catspaw49
Date: 17 Sep 99 - 01:36 PM

Say, we have one helluva' an act building up here......I mean really, if these aren't great burlesque names.......

Taffy...Ginger ... Boots ... Lollipop????????......Geezus!!!

And Luna, you might as well give up on that now as I think you're stuck with Jigger!!! (gawd, this is great)......anyway Jigger, Welcome to the 'Cat!!!! Great music,great folks, a great little village here. If you have any questions please feel free to ask. Bert will only remember Jigger so if you have a question for him, be sure to sign it "Jigger." AND....cotrary to what you heard from Bert, I'm polite, courteous, serious minded, and not sarcastic in the least. WELCOME!!!

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: If you were an exotic dancer
From: Peter T.
Date: 17 Sep 99 - 01:38 PM

Is this perhaps the perfect thread we have all been waiting for, the peak? I think so. Furry animals, nostalgia, exotic dancers, childhood, absurdity. It only lacks folk music, so -- is there any folk music worth stripping to? My mind turns for some dark, unexplained reason towards "Wimoweh". Thanks, Dave, we owe you.
yours, Peter T.


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Subject: RE: BS: If you were an exotic dancer
From: annamill
Date: 17 Sep 99 - 01:46 PM

Oh thank you so much for caring and, thank goodness, there was no need to worry, my friends. I explained that wonderful yesterday in the "hurricane" thread. Welcome, Luna.

Love, annap


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Subject: RE: BS: If you were an exotic dancer
From: JedMarum
Date: 17 Sep 99 - 02:01 PM

Suzy Lincoln - Abe's long lost great great grand-daughter, but what's the bit about a potatoe? {sic; the Republican spelling}


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Subject: RE: BS: If you were an exotic dancer
From: Max
Date: 17 Sep 99 - 02:06 PM

You all can call me Rocky High. No shit.


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Subject: RE: BS: If you were an exotic dancer
From: catspaw49
Date: 17 Sep 99 - 02:10 PM

Go back to the Mudcat Tavern Liam, about # 9 or # 10 and read all about it....Like many Mudcat jokes, it's origins are often obscure, but there are some folks around here who will not let go of a joke, no matter how bad....kinda' like Peter T., who after years of therapy still cannot keep himself from dressing up the local herons to look like Waylon Jennings....really tragic, ya' know?

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: If you were an exotic dancer
From: WyoWoman
Date: 17 Sep 99 - 02:15 PM

Omigawd -- stripping to "The Lion Sleeps Tonight..." I'm seeing a chorus line...

ww, AKA Sin-Sin Drew

(Later in life it would be Beanie Northcutt, but I think that sounds more like a member of the Boys Rockets, Bugs and No Girlz Club...)


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Subject: RE: BS: If you were an exotic dancer
From: Barbara Shaw
Date: 17 Sep 99 - 02:24 PM

So I'm Blackie Murray. Never get away with a name like that today... I'd be better off with my last dog / street, which would be Muffin Stonegate.


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Subject: RE: BS: If you were an exotic dancer
From: Peter T.
Date: 17 Sep 99 - 02:25 PM

O.K., I give up -- I also dress up pelicans like Willie Nelson. ("If you had not been fishing, then I would not have found you....") Happy, CP, happy?? Jesus.
yours, Peter T.
P.S. (I envisage the male strippers on the low "wheeup --yos" and the ladies on the falsettos doing their thing. Somehow Odetta seems to sashay across the stage....) I better get to the tavern for a glass of milk fast.


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Subject: RE: BS: If you were an exotic dancer
From: Margo
Date: 17 Sep 99 - 02:31 PM

Oh boy, I'm Schatzie Blair. Ooooowee!

Margarita


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Subject: RE: BS: If you were an exotic dancer
From: bobby's girl
Date: 17 Sep 99 - 02:34 PM

Unfortunately my mother did'nt like cats and dogs so the only pet I was allowed was a budgie - sadly this would make me Joey Holderness - lacks a certain something I feel


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Subject: RE: BS: If you were an exotic dancer
From: Melodeon
Date: 17 Sep 99 - 02:36 PM

This is great! Would have started career as Belle Granville then after the surgery become Ossian Tuffley. Melodeon


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Subject: RE: BS: If you were an exotic dancer
From: JedMarum
Date: 17 Sep 99 - 02:37 PM

Joey Holderness???

I agree with your assessment. bobby's girl sounds much better!


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Subject: RE: BS: If you were an exotic dancer
From: katlaughing
Date: 17 Sep 99 - 02:38 PM

Currently, I could be Lovee Center! Hey, Rocky High, I love it! This is so much fun. My niece could be Tesla Orkney?! My girlfriend Mazie Grace on 4th!


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Subject: RE: BS: If you were an exotic dancer
From: annamill
Date: 17 Sep 99 - 02:41 PM

I hate the obvious, when it comes to joking...

Max, it's a good thing you didn't also have a pet called Mountain.

Tsk! How silly I am.

L.,A.


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Subject: RE: BS: If you were an exotic dancer
From: MMario
Date: 17 Sep 99 - 02:50 PM

I can't believe I actually worked out what these would be...

depending on the species of pet:

Tinkie Tupper
H.R. Dixon
Rascalnicov Esperanza

but "Daisy" is scary!


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Subject: RE: BS: If you were an exotic dancer
From: Bert
Date: 17 Sep 99 - 02:58 PM

Mazie Grace! You made that one up!

Bert.


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Subject: RE: BS: If you were an exotic dancer
From: sophocleese
Date: 17 Sep 99 - 03:05 PM

Oh dear if I go to a different time I'm Mother Martin. That's a name to bring in the crowds.


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Subject: RE: BS: If you were an exotic dancer
From: Jigger
Date: 17 Sep 99 - 03:26 PM

Thank you all for your kind welcomes. I suppose I should count myself lucky that I went with Jigger, or I might be stuck with any number of stranger monikers (Paganini Russell, Rainbow Sturges, Grendel High).

As you for you, 'Spaw, I may be new to this site, but I wasn't born yesterday. Next thing I know, you'll be offering me a baked potato from Big Mick and snickering under your breath. Polite? Courteous? Serious minded? I'd be disappointed if you were!

Jigger


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Subject: RE: BS: If you were an exotic dancer
From: K~~
Date: 17 Sep 99 - 03:51 PM

Following that formula I'd be (shudder) Chee Chee Old Farmers - Now there's a name that depicts the hot chick I be (gak!).


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Subject: RE: BS: If you were an exotic dancer
From: Marion
Date: 17 Sep 99 - 03:57 PM

I'd be Tiger Joy - which is, actually, kind of sexy.


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