Ronnie Barker Musical Number (women's first names)

Subject: Ronnie Barker Musical Number
From: Exumab
Date: 31 May 11 - 11:11 PM

The British comedy star Ronnie Barker did a musical song and dance number dressed as a Chelsea Pensioner on one of the TV shows he appeared in. I am looking for the Title and lyrics to the song.
The music was "I think" either an English or Scottish march tune or English or Scottish upbeat dance folk tune.
It involved a list of women's first names. Here is as much as I have of it:


"............ Clarissa and Charity, Carolyn and Kate.
There was shrinking little Violet who doesn't want to marry you and
bulging little Harriett who can't afford to wait.

Clarissa you could kiss her. You could meddle with Melissa,
and Vanessa you could press her and arrest against the wall.
You could have fun with Nicola but if you try to tickle her
you'll end up with Virginia and she won't do at all.

I would be most grateful for any information or suggestions.

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Subject: RE: Ronnie Barker Musical Number (women's first names)
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 01 Jun 11 - 10:05 AM

First suggestion:
There was shrinking little Violet who doesn't want to marry you and
bulging little Harriett who can't afford to wait.

Should probably be "Violet who doesn't want to marry yet" as it fits better for both meaning & rhyme (Violet/Marry yet/ Harriett).

Cheers
Nigel

Subject: RE: Ronnie Barker Musical Number (women's first names)
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 01 Jun 11 - 10:25 AM

The 'Vanessa' line includes 'arrest' which doesn't seem to work. Might it have been:
Vanessa you could press her and harrass against the wall? which allows for a nice double entendre!