BS: What does a lobster do?

Subject: BS: What does a lobster do?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Jun 11 - 09:06 PM

Okay...now it is entirely clear what a rooster does to deserve his name. He roosts. Hence, he is a rooster.

But what does a lobster do?

For that matter, what does a hamster do? They certainly do not "ham". Neither does a gander "gand". I have seen ganders take a gander at something, but that doesn't count because the expression "to take a gander" obviously derives from the prior name "gander" itself, not the other way around (they are very curious birds and are often seen to stretch their necks to "take a gander" at something).

A retriever retrieves. All well and good. A woodpecker pecks wood.

But what the hell does a lobster do???

I am depending upon the many informed and brilliant minds here to solve this puzzle.

Get to it!

Subject: RE: BS: What does a lobster do?
From: Bert
Date: 03 Jun 11 - 09:14 PM

Loves.

Subject: RE: BS: What does a lobster do?
From: ranger1
Date: 03 Jun 11 - 09:16 PM

Feeds Kendall, of course.

Subject: RE: BS: What does a lobster do?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Jun 11 - 09:25 PM

Yes, they certainly are delicious.

Subject: RE: BS: What does a lobster do?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 03 Jun 11 - 09:29 PM

If you pronounce "lobster" "lopster", as is common in some areas, the meaning becomes readily apparent. A lopster lops. If you don't believe it, stick a finger within claw range and watch him lop it off.

Subject: RE: BS: What does a lobster do?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Jun 11 - 09:36 PM

Wow. Impressive reasoning, Bee-dub. You may have it. We should do a test and have Spaw lower his dangling participle into a lobster tank and see if your theory holds water.

Subject: RE: BS: What does a lobster do?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Jun 11 - 09:43 PM

This may be a useful source of information:

It's CRUNCH TIME!

Subject: RE: BS: What does a lobster do?
From: Charley Noble
Date: 03 Jun 11 - 09:46 PM

Well, lobsters do have good taste. I can attest to that, especially when they are fresh.

Some lobsters tend to stew, especially when they go off their meds.

But when they're happy, they love to dance as anyone would know if they watched a lobster quadrille.

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: What does a lobster do?
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Jun 11 - 10:43 PM

It plays tennis, of course, and lobs 'em over the net.

Subject: RE: BS: What does a lobster do?
From: SINSULL
Date: 03 Jun 11 - 10:44 PM

It is a Maine crustacean and is "crusty", like Kendall.

Subject: RE: BS: What does a lobster do?
From: katlaughing
Date: 03 Jun 11 - 10:45 PM

They lob, of course. Soft balls, hand grenades...you name it, anything they can get their claws on, they lob!

Subject: RE: BS: What does a lobster do?
From: J-boy
Date: 03 Jun 11 - 11:45 PM

Ask a Lobstress.

Subject: RE: BS: What does a lobster do?
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 04 Jun 11 - 12:33 AM

So what does a teamster do? Actually, I know that one. A teamster drives a team of horses. My grandfather was one (in addition to being a farmer). He hauled goods in a wagon from a steamship landing on the White River in Arkansas, up into the hills to various stores.

And a spinster spins. Thread, that is.

And a Webster weaves.

Subject: RE: BS: What does a lobster do?
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 04 Jun 11 - 01:23 AM

Lobster... came from Old English name 'Lopustre' but that doesn't help LOL.

Subject: RE: BS: What does a lobster do?
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 04 Jun 11 - 03:21 AM

I don't know what lobsters do, but I hope they keep doing it!

Subject: RE: BS: What does a lobster do?
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 04 Jun 11 - 04:19 AM

They try not to catch crabs?

Subject: RE: BS: What does a lobster do?
From: MartinRyan
Date: 04 Jun 11 - 04:28 AM

What does a lobster do?

Emerges from the Latin Sea ...

Regards

Subject: RE: BS: What does a lobster do?
From: Big Al Whittle (closed)
Date: 04 Jun 11 - 05:52 AM

John Dillinger and Al Capone were in cell block number two
Their vicious claws were all taped up -
But they were muttering, as lobsters do.
'Looks like curtains for us' said Big Al,
They're making a lobster stew'.

'How did we get here?' asked Johnny Dillinger.
'We could have been a helluva team
Me robbing banks, you with extortion -
We could have lived the American dream'.

'I wondered about that' said Big Al.
'I wondered about me and you....'
They said, 'Stand in this line to become a mobster....
I think we got in the wrong queue'.

Subject: RE: BS: What does a lobster do?
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 04 Jun 11 - 06:31 AM

The Old English word for a spider was 'loppe', and it's thought 'lobster' has come from that. But 'ster' doesn't always mean 'does' something. After all, a teamster doesn't 'team', and a gangster doesn't 'gang'. In fact, it denotes belonging to, or coming from, a group. So 'lobster' means 'belonging to the group of creatures like spiders'.

Subject: RE: BS: What does a lobster do?
From: GUEST,Jon
Date: 04 Jun 11 - 06:42 AM

And a hamster?

Subject: RE: BS: What does a lobster do?
From: kendall
Date: 04 Jun 11 - 06:52 AM

They mostly eat each other and make more Lobsters.

LH, where the hell did you find that thing on Lobsteroids? Thats the Turkey I narrated.
I still say it is the worst movie I ever saw, course, the fact that I hate rock "music" has much to do with it.

Subject: RE: BS: What does a lobster do?
From: Musket
Date: 04 Jun 11 - 07:26 AM

"Well, as crabs walk sideways, I must have a dose of lobsters."

As heard in a folk club in South Yorkshire, circa 1981

Subject: RE: BS: What does a lobster do?
From: Charley Noble
Date: 04 Jun 11 - 09:00 AM

And every year, come December, one of the largest and most respected lobsters is elected "Santa Claus" by his peers, and in his magic scallop circles the world, dropping off presents to them wee kiddies as has done good.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: What does a lobster do?
From: Ed T
Date: 04 Jun 11 - 09:46 AM

They are Homaridae, (not that there is anything wrong with that).

BTW, it is pronounced "lobsta or Lobstah" by many (lobsta fishermen, not fishers) in south shore and southwestern Nova Scotia and in Maine.

Subject: RE: BS: What does a lobster do?
From: Ed T
Date: 04 Jun 11 - 10:06 AM

"The Adjutant, being a first-class scavenger, is allowed to go where he pleases..." (except when invited for dinner, I expect).

From, The Second Jungle Book by Rudyard Kipling.

Subject: RE: BS: What does a lobster do?
From: Charley Noble
Date: 04 Jun 11 - 10:32 AM

What does a lobsta do?
Will he ever get into a stew?
Or will he lurk beneath a ledge
And simply enjoy the view?

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: What does a lobster do?
From: gnu
Date: 04 Jun 11 - 10:55 AM

Whatever the hell it wants to do.

Subject: RE: BS: What does a lobster do?
From: Bert
Date: 04 Jun 11 - 11:00 AM

...and make more Lobsters...

That's what I said Kendall ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: What does a lobster do?
From: Charley Noble
Date: 04 Jun 11 - 11:00 AM

gnu-

An amazing beast! Now in Maine, those are the ones we keep as breeders.

We used to have a gift shop in Ellsworth, Maine, I believe, that was designed after a huge lobster trap. It failed as a business venture because although the tourists could find their way in, they couldn't find their way out.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: What does a lobster do?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Jun 11 - 12:25 PM

It must have become very crowded in there after awhile.

Subject: RE: BS: What does a lobster do?
From: ranger1
Date: 04 Jun 11 - 01:06 PM

LH - and what did you think we put in lobster stew?

Subject: RE: BS: What does a lobster do?
From: gnu
Date: 04 Jun 11 - 01:08 PM

Charley... hahahahaaa!

Subject: RE: BS: What does a lobster do?
From: kendall
Date: 04 Jun 11 - 01:09 PM

The biggest live one I ever saw weighed 42 pounds.

Breeders? a myth. Have you ever seen any kind of creature that gets more prolific with age? Maine passed a law against taking large Lobsters because the dealers didn't want to buy them. They are tougher than a woodpeckers beak and restaurants don't want them.
The law was passed as a conservation measure because the truth was too true.

Subject: RE: BS: What does a lobster do?
From: Amos
Date: 04 Jun 11 - 03:48 PM

O.E. loppestre, corruption of L. locusta "lobster, locust," by influence of O.E. loppe "spider," a variant of lobbe. Perhaps a transferred use of the Latin word; trilobite fossils in Worcestershire limestone quarries were known colloquially as locusts, which seems to be the generic word for "unidentified arthropod," as apple is for "foreign fruit." But OED says the Latin word originally meant "lobster or some similar crustacean, the application to the locust being suggested by the resemblance in shape." Locusta in the sense "lobster" also appears in French (langouste) and Old Cornish (legast). The ending of O.E. loppestre is the fem. agent noun suffix (cf. Baxter, Webster; see -ster), which approximated the Latin sound. As slang for "a British soldier" since 1640s, originally in reference to the jointed armor of the Roundhead cuirassiers, later (1660) to the red coat.

Subject: RE: BS: What does a lobster do?
From: gnu
Date: 04 Jun 11 - 04:26 PM

I talked to an archeologist/geologist student at uni many years ago that explained to me that by finding various shellfish (snails, lobsters, whatever) well inland, "they" had proven that these lands were under ocean waters thousands of years in the past. Indeed, he had dug up some in his garden. I asked him if he could think, just maybe, these had been deposited as fertilizer within the past several hundred years as it was common practice to do so. No! They are delicaciies...

Gee whiz eh?

Subject: RE: BS: What does a lobster do?
From: Ed T
Date: 04 Jun 11 - 04:51 PM

Well, the occaional one is blue in nature. Red is mostly the ones in the pot (though a few "odd ones" are red in nature). One in a couple of million are blue, but also red when cooked.

Old blue coat

Subject: RE: BS: What does a lobster do?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Jun 11 - 07:08 PM

The live ones here are mostly a sort of mottled dark green/blue with hints of red here and there. They turn all red when cooked.

Subject: RE: BS: What does a lobster do?
From: gnu
Date: 04 Jun 11 - 07:49 PM

Live ones? Soooo, you have them in the shops too? I am sickened by that. In every grocery there is a tank with lobsters on display... it's sickeningly cruel. I turn away.

Not to mention that those, when cooked, ain't gonna taste so good as fresh.

Subject: RE: BS: What does a lobster do?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Jun 11 - 08:58 PM

Since we are very far from the seacoast, gnu, what would you recommend we do about it?

Subject: RE: BS: What does a lobster do?
From: gnu
Date: 04 Jun 11 - 09:54 PM

Kill the poor bastards. Better than letting them starve in a tank with their claws immobilized for days and prhaps weeks while small children ogle and point at them. It's cruel.

Subject: RE: BS: What does a lobster do?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Jun 11 - 12:56 AM

Oh, I see. Well, the thing with lobsters is, they are supposed to be cooked live to keep them fresh. That's cruel too, but that's the normal way it's done. So the reason they are in a tank is so they'll stay alive until they are cooked. I think they're usually not in the tank for more than 2 or 3 days, but it must be a miserable 2 or 3 days for them. I doubt that they're too concerned about people looking at them...probably more concerned about being crammed in there with a whole bunch of other lobsters in close quarters and not able to do a thing about it.

The way for people to stop being cruel to animals is to stop eating them. Period. We could all live quite well without eating animals, but we like our culinary habits as they are, so that's how it goes.

It's another question of our convenience at something else's expense.

Subject: RE: BS: What does a lobster do?
From: J-boy
Date: 05 Jun 11 - 01:48 AM

We all exist at something else's expense LH. That is nature. As far as convenience goes you make a good point. We have made killing far too easy. If I had to kill my dinner every day I'd starve. Hell, it still bothers me to boil a lobster alive.

Subject: RE: BS: What does a lobster do?
From: Charley Noble
Date: 05 Jun 11 - 10:40 AM

Kendall-

Our family ate a couple of monster lobsters back in the 1950's that we swapped with our neighbors for beef steaks (for some reason or other the fishermen preferred steak to lobster). Those lobsters were as large as a large turkey on a platter and although mother boiled them longer than the regular sized ones they were indeed as tender and sweet.

Lobsters were so plentiful in the 19th century that people caught them in buckets or nets at the shore and used them for fertilizer.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: What does a lobster do?
From: Brian May
Date: 05 Jun 11 - 10:52 AM

Lobsters eat sh*t and grow into big lobsters.

Primarily, they should get big if they're lucky, and then if WE'RE lucky.

I love the taste.

In terms of cruelty, we as humans treat people far worse than we treat animal life.

When THAT gets sorted, then I'll start to worry about the feelings of any crustaceans or any other animal I eat.

Subject: RE: BS: What does a lobster do?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Jun 11 - 11:58 AM

I don't think, Brian, that we treat anything much worse than animals...after reading about how the modern meat-growing and meat-packing industries treat the wretched cows, pigs, and chickens that we buy all nicely wrapped up in plastic at the local grocery store. As bad as Auschwitz or Dachau? Definitely. And it happens to millions of animals every day. If we could be there to witness it, I think we'd all become vegetarians right quick.

I knew two Native American guys who did become vegetarians after working for a few months in a meat-packing plant in Toronto. They just couldn't stomach meat anymore after that. And these were guys who'd never have believed they'd give up eating meat. They used to love it.

As for cruelty to one's fellow man. Sure. No argument there. That's in the news every day, but what happens to the domesticated animals tends not to get noticed too much...because it would put us off our food...and that would be bad for business.

Subject: RE: BS: What does a lobster do?
From: Charley Noble
Date: 05 Jun 11 - 12:35 PM

There are some who claim that lobsters feel no pain as they're dropped into the pot of boiling water. I doubt if they're correct.

When I do the job in my household, I just stare at the ceiling and think of England!

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: What does a lobster do?
From: MartinRyan
Date: 05 Jun 11 - 02:25 PM

Well, the occasional one is blue in nature. Red is mostly the ones in the pot (though a few "odd ones" are red in nature). One in a couple of million are blue, but also red when cooked.



A bright orange one was picked up of the Irish coast recently - xanthomorphic or summat like that.

Regards

Subject: RE: BS: What does a lobster do?
From: gnu
Date: 05 Jun 11 - 02:26 PM

Oh, I think they feel pain. Fortunately, the shock they recieve kills them almost instantly, I think???

I guess I am being a bit woosie (spg?) about the tank thing.

Subject: RE: BS: What does a lobster do?
From: Big Al Whittle (closed)
Date: 05 Jun 11 - 03:13 PM

Its a crustacean like a woodlouse.

If a lobster crawled from out of your skirting board, or from under your carpet - I bet you would become Ming the Merciless and jump on it.

Subject: RE: BS: What does a lobster do?
From: Dave MacKenzie
Date: 05 Jun 11 - 04:19 PM

I'm not convinced that vegetables don't have feelings too.

Subject: RE: BS: What does a lobster do?
From: gnu
Date: 05 Jun 11 - 04:21 PM

The potatoes have eyes? The ears have corn?

Subject: RE: BS: What does a lobster do?
From: GUEST,Jon
Date: 05 Jun 11 - 04:25 PM

Lettuce have hearts.

I enjoy eating lady's fingers...

Subject: RE: BS: What does a lobster do?
From: kendall
Date: 05 Jun 11 - 04:45 PM

Those who know tell us that Lobsters don't feel pain as we do. Their nervous system is so primitive they only react to dangerous stimuli.
I sometimes hypnotize them before popping them into the pot. You can also kill them by submersing them in fresh water.

Subject: RE: BS: What does a lobster do?
From: gnu
Date: 05 Jun 11 - 05:01 PM

You ever boil them in fresh water K?

Subject: RE: BS: What does a lobster do?
From: Charley Noble
Date: 05 Jun 11 - 08:22 PM

We do give our lobsters a good soak in fresh water in the sink, for 30 minutes or so. It doesn't seem to kill them but it may subdue them.

We always boil them in fresh water.

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: What does a lobster do?
From: kendall
Date: 05 Jun 11 - 08:23 PM

When I was Captain of the Explorer I used to boil; them in sea water, but I'm not handy to the ocean now, so fresh water has to do.

Subject: RE: BS: What does a lobster do?
From: Ed T
Date: 05 Jun 11 - 08:36 PM

lobster-supper-without-the-lobster-suffering

Subject: RE: BS: What does a lobster do?
From: Joe_F
Date: 05 Jun 11 - 08:49 PM

Something nasty

Subject: RE: BS: What does a lobster do?
From: GUEST,ollaimh
Date: 05 Jun 11 - 08:51 PM

when i was young we used to kill the lobsters brin before putting him in the water. my father showed me how to do it. a sharp thick needle right between the eyes on the skull--right through the shell and hes dead, quickly. you can put hin to sleep first by facing him head down and stroking his back. he falls imobile--probably asleep and will stay imobile while you quickly stick in the needle--and hes brain dead as quickly and painlessly as possible. you can do this on a rock or a beach.

i suspect few people do this now, but everybody did this out in old nova scotia when i was young.

by the way the colder the water, the better tasting the lobster so the atlantic shore of nova scotia is by far the best. new brunswick lobster is best early in the season when the water is still cold, and they say the best is from greenland, but they are far and few betwen there, and no self respecting maritimer would stoop to eating warm water maine lobster--might as well eat big shrimp for all the taste they have.

maine lobster!!!???? ugh what a thought.

Subject: RE: BS: What does a lobster do?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Jun 11 - 09:12 PM

The cold water thing sounds right to me. And they (lobsters) taste much better if cooked in salt water than in fresh water. Same goes for shrimp and other salt water crustaceans and shellfish.

****

Regarding plants feeling pain...

Plants do have a rudimentary awareness of a physical threat or of physical damage...and they react to it, not muscularly, but in a form of inner energetic response. This has been confirmed quite some time ago in testing...in short, their rudimentary nervous system (which is energetic, as any nervous system is) is aware of various forms of stimuli and stress, and its reactions can be measured on an instrument similar to a polygraph (lie detector). The graph will spike when the plant feels attacked or threatened. It is questionable whether they feel physical pain...they have no visible way of showing that they do, but they do react in an unseen way to any form of stress.

It seems like a pretty big leap to equate that form of reaction with the acute pain felt by humans and animals....and I doubt that it does equate.

Also, you don't kill a plant by taking off its fruit (in many cases). In fact, you do it a favor by eating the fruit and scattering the seeds. That's partly why the fruit is there, so something will eat it and scatter the seeds around, hopefully far and wide. This helps the plants. Your grass doesn't die when you cut it...though it probably feels rather shocked for a short time afterward. And so on...

So, although we can disturb plants by harming them, I think it's really rather specious to equate that with the pain caused by killing and eating humans or animals. But people love to argue. ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: What does a lobster do?
From: GUEST,number 6
Date: 05 Jun 11 - 10:17 PM

Chef Gordon Ramsay says he can tell the difference between a Maine lobster and a Canadian lobster .... it must be that Maine accent .. but then again many New Brunswickers from around Deer Island, Dipper harbour way have that 'Maine' accent

Maine vs. Canadian lobster

Gordon Ramsay is full of sh&t

biLL ... :-)

Subject: RE: BS: What does a lobster do?
From: J-boy
Date: 05 Jun 11 - 11:56 PM

Lobsters are delicious. Do you suppose there are other insects that taste as good? Not that I'm eager to find out but given the way the world is turning we might be eating them right quick.

Subject: RE: BS: What does a lobster do?
From: Gurney
Date: 06 Jun 11 - 12:09 AM

Never mind about Lobsters! Where do Monsters live?

Subject: RE: BS: What does a lobster do?
From: J-boy
Date: 06 Jun 11 - 12:20 AM

Where do Monsters live? I think you know the answer.

Subject: RE: BS: What does a lobster do?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Jun 11 - 01:25 AM

They live under your bed.

Subject: RE: BS: What does a lobster do?
From: Charley Noble
Date: 06 Jun 11 - 09:05 AM

"no self respecting maritimer would stoop to eating warm water maine lobster"

Why don't you come down here to Maine so we can push you into our "warm" water?

Other insects can be just as tasty as lobster but it's a challenge to find any "keepers." Maybe in Alaska.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: What does a lobster do?
From: GUEST,Patsy
Date: 06 Jun 11 - 10:35 AM

For the faint hearted they can be bought frozen, ready dressed or whatever they do to them. I know in my heart of hearts I could not look a lobster in the eye and select it from a tank, sorry.

Has anyone had one for a pet, or do they get er...crabby?

Subject: RE: BS: What does a lobster do?
From: Charley Noble
Date: 06 Jun 11 - 11:42 AM

Patsy-

I'm seen fresh-water crayfish, a distant cousin, offered for sale in pet shops.

We have a business here in town called Shucks Maine Lobster (google if you doubt) which specializes in extracting lobster meat and selling it frozen. You don't want to know how they do this job.

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: What does a lobster do?
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 06 Jun 11 - 01:58 PM

The most common crustaceans aren't lo9bsters, or crabs for that matter - they are woodlice. I'd as soon eat a woodlouse as a lobster myself.

A basic life rule with me is, don't eat anything with less than two legs or more than four. Apart from kippers, that is.

Subject: RE: BS: What does a lobster do?
From: gnu
Date: 06 Jun 11 - 02:33 PM

Well... here I go again...

The warmest waters north of the Carolinas are in The Northumberland Straight and the best tasting shellfish AND lobsters come from Shediac Bay and the surrounding waters because there is a parasite that lives in their guts that makes them taste better. That cold water stuff is a myth. As for no cold water until Greenland... yees b'y, an I spose yer Newfs are frolickin and catchin rays on de hicebergs offina Twilliingate come July mont'. Jaysus me zon, me zon!

I'll never forget gassin up the truck in Twillingate in early July... pea soup foggy and the wind was blowin wet snow up me arse.

Subject: RE: BS: What does a lobster do?
From: Bert
Date: 06 Jun 11 - 02:35 PM

So McGrath, what does a kipper do?

Subject: RE: BS: What does a lobster do?
From: Ed T
Date: 06 Jun 11 - 02:46 PM

""Chef Gordon Ramsay says he can tell the difference between a Maine lobster and a Canadian lobster""

Anyone can make any claim they wish. Where's the proof (Or, where's the beef)?

There is a "back and forth relationship" between Maritimes Canada and Maine lobsters. Quite often the source is stated as whatever the seller thinks the buyer likes best. Many Maritime lobster are marketed as "Maine lobsters", in the USA markets and cause few people, if any, can tell the difference anyway (though some make wild claims that they can). It's kinda like the "Coke and Pepsi blind test".

One of the largest buyers of Canadian lobsters is a company owned by Red Lobster. Guess where most of their lobsters end up?

Subject: RE: BS: What does a lobster do?
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 06 Jun 11 - 03:39 PM

what does a kipper do?

Not a lot.

Subject: RE: BS: What does a lobster do?
From: Big Al Whittle (closed)
Date: 06 Jun 11 - 03:41 PM

If I were a lobster I should take great exception to many of these remarks. I'm not saying I would experience pain in the accepted human sense of the word, but I should suffer emotional hurt - and feel that financial restitution should be made to me to compensate for my damaged feelings, and loss of earnings as a consequence of being too traumatised to resume productive work.

Subject: RE: BS: What does a lobster do?
From: Becca72
Date: 06 Jun 11 - 03:50 PM

average Maine water temps


That don't seem all that warm to me, eh?

Subject: RE: BS: What does a lobster do?
From: gnu
Date: 06 Jun 11 - 04:14 PM

Becca... add in the salt water and my nipples are sore just thinkin about it.

I used to love basking and all the stuff ya do in the shallow waters of Shediac Bay (as warm as bath water). But, at the end of the day, yer nipples hurt so bad ya wonder if it's worth it. Kind of a salt in the wound thing.

Oh, yeah. We used to grab crabs when I was a kid. Big boil up at supper... mmmmmmm. And mussels and bar clams and piss clams and oysters and snails and... mmmmmmmmm good.

Subject: RE: BS: What does a lobster do?
From: JennyD
Date: 06 Jun 11 - 04:54 PM

Lobsters have fascinating sex lives.

Half a lobster's brain is used to process scents from chemical receptors on its two-pronged antennules. Lobsters' bladders are in their heads and their urine is carried ahead, mixed with water squirted from their gill chambers. They pee in each other's faces to send messages like 'Remember me? I won our fight,' or, 'Want to have sex? I'm getting undressed.'

Lobsters do actually get undressed to have sex. Male and female lobsters usually attack each other, but male lobsters find moulting female lobsters' urine arousing. Females mate after moulting and don't moult again until their eggs hatch. They prefer dominant males for protection while they're soft-shelled and vulnerable.

Males wait in their shelters, peeing out of the doorway. Females approach when they're ready to moult, and pee back at them so that the sex pheromones persuade them to stop their aggression.

Lobsters have sex in the missionary position. At the base of her tail, a female has a pouch to store sperm and a male has two hardened swimmerets with grooves. He props open her receptacle with his swimmerets and, after swimmeret-fanning foreplay, ejaculates gelatinous sperm capsules called spermatophores down the grooves into her pouch. The last spermatophore hardens and plugs the opening. He protects her until her shell hardens – about two weeks – and then they resume hostilities.

How different, how very different, from the home life of our own dear queen.

Subject: RE: BS: What does a lobster do?
From: gnu
Date: 06 Jun 11 - 04:58 PM

"He protects her until her shell hardens – about two weeks – and then they resume hostilities. "

Sounds familiar... but a fortnight?

Subject: RE: BS: What does a lobster do?
From: Charley Noble
Date: 06 Jun 11 - 04:59 PM

gnu-

Don't the Nova Scotia lobsters all have blue noses?

Here's a link to a ballad that Amos and I put together a few years ago based on a prank that some Maine lobstermen played on their best buddy: click here for lyrics and MP3 Sample!

It's a true story.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: What does a lobster do?
From: gnu
Date: 06 Jun 11 - 05:03 PM

GREAT tune!

Subject: RE: BS: What does a lobster do?
From: kendall
Date: 06 Jun 11 - 07:59 PM

"A Rose, by any other name" etc.

Subject: RE: BS: What does a lobster do?
From: GUEST,Patsy
Date: 07 Jun 11 - 02:48 AM

Actually JennyD you have described Bristol City Town centre on a Saturday night after the clubs close!

Subject: RE: BS: What does a lobster do?
From: Charley Noble
Date: 07 Jun 11 - 08:18 AM

JennyD-

Excellent description of the love life of these pleopods.

"There is so much to learn about love and life, but so little time left to practice."

Attributed to an old folk singer who lay on the floor of the pub as the skew-eyed landlord doused the glim at closing time.

Charley Noble