 sj |
||
|
||
BS: Should I Tell ?
|
|
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: Crowhugger Date: 26 Jul 11 - 09:29 AM That'll be something of a relief, to feel the quandary is removed so you no longer need wonder what to do. How lovely that the kids can't ever be sure there are no cameras--it's a marvel at how small and hideable they are these days. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: olddude Date: 26 Jul 11 - 08:50 AM It was pretty good thinking by the building supervisor, there really are no cameras but someone else must have seen it and reported it .. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: olddude Date: 26 Jul 11 - 08:40 AM Problem resolved itself, went into the office now there is a big sign that reads "surveillance cameras in use outside this facility" |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: ragdall Date: 26 Jul 11 - 08:00 AM Dan, Given your circumstances, pretending the incident never happened seems for the best. Anything else could lead to hassles that you don't have the time or energy to engage in. Supplying someone else's children with condoms could even get you into legal problems. Like you, I'd stay out of it completely. I try to avoid anything that could lead to a conflict and I don't believe that my becoming involved would increase the chances of a more positive outcome. I never see the high school students standing on my street smoking tobacco or pot or passing around small pipes filled with ? that they heat with cigarette lighters. They are just far enough away from the high school that they are "invisible" to the school, but they are in plain sight of half a dozen houses. I don't know if that fact hasn't occurred to them or if they really don't give a hoot? Maybe the children that you "didn't see" cavorting in the grass really didn't care if they could be seen either? That said, two questions about your chance encounter come to my mind: If the girl were one of your daughters, and someone who knew you saw them, what would you want that person to do? If you were the boy and an adult you knew saw you, how would you feel about that adult speaking to you about it? Maybe one of them reads Mudcat posts? rags |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: Jack the Sailor Date: 26 Jul 11 - 07:45 AM No Richard, just Canadian. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: Richard Bridge Date: 26 Jul 11 - 07:43 AM Jack, what a sad woman she must have been. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: Jack the Sailor Date: 26 Jul 11 - 07:37 AM Not long after we were married, we were kissing, just kissing mind you, in our car at a travel centre between Toronto and London Ontario. A lady walking by called out "Knock it off your two, you are in a public place!" She was smiling and good natured, but when our eye's met, one could tell that she meant it. If I am in Olddude's situation, I think I will do what that lady did to us. It did have the effect of a bucket of cold water with blue dye and saltpeter in it. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: VirginiaTam Date: 26 Jul 11 - 03:02 AM Do not say anything to anyone. Should not even have mentioned it here, I think. You just don't know what the reaction to your best intention will be. Even a simple "You have been seen, please be careful in every way" might instigate a nasty backlash against you. Accusing you of being a voyeur and saying inappropriate things to the girl. Leave it, forget it. They are kids doing what kids do. All perfectly normal. At least they weren't doing drugs or making a ritual sacrifice. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: JohnInKansas Date: 26 Jul 11 - 01:49 AM In the US, depending on local attitudes to some degree, it is quite possible for a juvenile to be "tried as an adult." Up to about age 13 or 14 that would be unlikely except for exceedingly criminal activity, but given attitudes about juvenile sex it could happen. It is NOT really uncommon for males at 16 and a day and older to be "tried as adult" for actions where the judge believes he "acted as an adult" (did an adult thing) and should have known better. That raises the odds tremendously. The female in a situation such as this, appearing before some judges, would be deemed a juvenile until she's about age 30. At 16 or older, a boy could easily be tagged as a "sex offender" for the rest of his life. I've never heard of a juvenile female being similarly charged, much less convicted, but would suppose it could happen. As to what you should do, it's unlikely that anything you say overtly to either teen is going to have any effect, other than possibly to encourage them to "do their thing" under even less favorable conditions or in more hazardous places. Telling anyone else greatly increases the likelihood of overblown and drastic (likely legal) actions that could be quite damaging to one or both of the kids. Several decades ago (times and attitudes were a little different) an uncle who had "covert knowledge" of something similar just handed a condom to the boy, said "Here" and walked away. Nothing more needed to be said - and there really isn't anything more you can say, that is likely to have any constructive effect. (It helps to not smile with this delivery, though - I guess.) It's an entirely different matter if it's one of your own kids. In this case they're not. John |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: Crowhugger Date: 26 Jul 11 - 12:49 AM To me it's important to consider that the laws of most lands say that activity carried on outdoors in plain view IS public business, at least to the extent that privacy is NOT expected, decorum IS expected. Where laws and standards of decorum allow for public sexual acts, ignoring the whole thing makes sense to me. Olddude was clear about why he prefers to ignore the whole episode--his energy is spent plain and simple, none to spare, too much crap to deal with as it is. Makes sense, I understand that. So now I'm wondering more about others, especially those who'd ignore it if they witnessed such a display. I get it about not going to the parents--they aren't the ones who had sex in public, or they'd likely react badly, either way no point going there. I'm more curious about the feeling it's not your business to address the kids. Why is it not your business? Is it because they're not your kids? Did someone rat you out for public sex, causing awful consequences? (Okay, you don't have to answer that one ;-).) But seriously, what would make it your business, maybe someone's kids doing this in your yard, or your kid in someone else's yard, or no? I'd love to understand more about the choice so many of you would make. And since turn about is fair play: My own answer flowed from what I hope a neighbour would do if it was one of my nieces/nephew, and from the experience of having the support of non-parent adults when I was going through my teen years. It took a village to raise me and my brother and our friends. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: Smokey. Date: 25 Jul 11 - 11:54 PM Good job there was no wasp's nest. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: Janie Date: 25 Jul 11 - 11:52 PM Ebbie, I would definitely say something and or hand out condoms in the situation Dan described. Would never say a word to the parents. That is not about an "offense" but about safety. Regarding shoplifting, I would not hesitate to tell the parents. Also would not hesitate to tell parents about knowledge of drug problems or problems with violence, or other observations concerning behaviors that are clearly antisocial or have a high likihood of leading to antisocial behaviors. My son has what he considers the mixed blessing of being raised in a very small town where everyone knows everyone. Because my son has told on himself on occasion, I am aware that good friends like Dani have occasionally called him out or held him accountable for unsafe or stupid but non-malicious behaviors they have observed him engaging in, when they have never said a word to me about those behaviors. I don't ever ask Dani if she has challenged my son regarding behaviors, and don't hesitate to ask when my son has revealed that Dani has challenged him about something. Also once had a parent contact me when he joined "the pack" in on-line bullying of a younger kid on a special interest website. Once or twice have had parents contact me about issues that I consider non-issues, and have thanked them kindly for their interest and offered no other comment. It really does take a village. It takes the capacity of discernment on the part of parents and other responsible adults to know when to speak up, and to whom. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: olddude Date: 25 Jul 11 - 11:27 PM We did some kidding around but many of the answers are well thought out ones. Ebbie you raise some excellent food for thought |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: Janie Date: 25 Jul 11 - 11:10 PM I like the responses of Chanteylass, BWL and Max. Very sensible and responsible. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: Ebbie Date: 25 Jul 11 - 10:57 PM I'm just trying to establish what degree of offense would bring a clear answer to one's mind. On the record, FWIW, I would probably talk to someone in the Splendor in the Grass case but it is highly unlikely that I would volunteer that it was an actual consummation. In the shoplifting case I doubt that I would say anything. But I would agonize over it, especially if it was the child of someone I loved and was close to. Not sure in either case actually. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: gnu Date: 25 Jul 11 - 10:40 PM Gosh, Ebbie. #2... cool question, but is it a fair question? Does it "equate"? Or is meant to stand alone? |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: Ebbie Date: 25 Jul 11 - 10:33 PM A couple of ideas popped up: #1: Is either or both of the kids the offspring of someone who works in this secured building? #2: Keeping in mind that having sex is not a crime and granting that only the age of the participants and the public place are problematic, what would you do if you saw the child of an acquaintance shoplift an item - let's say, an expensive item - at a store? Would you tell? |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 25 Jul 11 - 10:10 PM Nicely done.
|
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: Janie Date: 25 Jul 11 - 09:58 PM Oops. Left out the most important part. His answer to the 2nd question. It was, "Yes!" |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: olddude Date: 25 Jul 11 - 09:42 PM Janie very interesting my dear friend Love Dan Thank you |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: Janie Date: 25 Jul 11 - 09:29 PM Interesting response(s) from Sum Yung Sun. His opinion depends on the question. If the question is framed in terms of what "should" Dan (or another adult) do under the circumstances, his answer is "Nothing" because 1. it is no one else's business and 2. Older people don't realize that people don't learn from other people's mistakes. Then I asked, If you and a girl were having sex in a not private enough place and some one - an adult neighbor, strangers, maybe even a schoolmate, came upon you, and then or later let you know they had seen you, would you be more likely to choose your location more carefully next time when thinking about privacy? Not that he would be likely to say "Thanks, Dan!," The point however, is not to illicit appreciation. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: olddude Date: 25 Jul 11 - 09:16 PM I would never condem them my friends. I get along with all the HS kids, they really like me and listen to my music in the park. I know both kids but not that well ... I know her parents and they would freak and deny that it ever happened so that is a no for sure. It maybe they wanted someone to catch them .. who knows .. I am sure I could talk to the boyfriend without any issues back on me .. in a gentle loving manner to let him understand the responsibility that goes with such acts. I don't know, I suspect if I did not have so much chaos with cancer right now in my own family that I wouldn't hesitate to say something. It is a difficult problem. One of the teenagers last week while I was playing my guitar asked me if I ever smoked weed. I said yes, and he said he did ... I had a talk with him about drugs and what I have seen throughout my life. Choices, right choices are always the hardest. I said I really hope you don't anymore at your age. He seemed to appreciate the talk. Now will he listen, probably not but he did appreciate the talk. This however is far more difficult due to the embarrassment of the girl and the guy and the family and on an on. I will let it sit for awhile for sure. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: artbrooks Date: 25 Jul 11 - 09:09 PM What BWL said. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: Richard Bridge Date: 25 Jul 11 - 09:09 PM My advice would be the same whatever the ages. But hang on people, think back. Girls of 15 ALWAYS want to be going out with boys of 18, not boys of 15. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: GUEST,Joe at the Women's Center Date: 25 Jul 11 - 08:54 PM My son was 18. and had a girlfriend who was 15 years old. He was immature at the time, and had several girlfriends who were younger than he was. I wish I could remember exactly what happened, but somehow my son used me to be the intermediary for sending a message to his girlfriend - he did it in some way that made it almost impossible for me to avoid reading what he was saying to her, and part of it was that he was having sex with her - which is statutory rape in California, a legal adult having sex with a legal minor. It seemed to me that he wanted me to see that message. So, I told him gently that I had seen the message, and that I wanted him to know that having sex with a minor three years younger than he was, could get him in a lot of trouble. I also made sure he knew about using condoms. That's about all I said, and he seemed to appreciate that. Dan, I wonder if this young couple did what they did in plain sight, because they wanted somebody to see them and talk to them. In matters like this, talking can be just what the kids want, especially if it's done without an air of condemnation - but I'd talk to the kids themselves, not their parents. The parents might freak out. I think 15 or 16 is pretty young for sex. -Joe- |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: Crowhugger Date: 25 Jul 11 - 08:48 PM Kendall it's hard to say what to do when you don't know the people & circumstance, is one of the kids definitely unable to make an informed choice or is there CP creating an appearance that misled you? That said, if they were strangers I would mind my own business exactly because I don't know what's going on; if I knew them my respose would depend on the precise details of the 'kids' involved. But I can't say for sure if those choices are right or wrong. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: Smokey. Date: 25 Jul 11 - 08:37 PM I think we shouldn't jump to conclusions.. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: kendall Date: 25 Jul 11 - 08:31 PM At Old Songs this year I saw a young couple in the grass and they were really getting acquainted. Broad daylight in a field of mowed grass. Later, they walked by me and she looked retarded. What do you think of that? |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: Max Date: 25 Jul 11 - 08:20 PM Teenage pregnancy is a tough way to grow up for all involved. My eldest is 21 now, born when her mom and I were 17. All three wounded, one devastated by the journey. The kind, brave, intelligent and thoughtful human being that Alexis has turned out to be is 1 of my 3 proofs of a Universe that loves us. If I were witness... I wouldn't hesitate to say something to everyone. Telling a teenager anything though, especially not to have sex, is like telling my beagle not to chase rabbits, so... I wouldn't say a word but I'd give 'em both condoms every single time I saw them. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: Smokey. Date: 25 Jul 11 - 08:20 PM Sorry, Olddude, just my warped sense of humour. Poor kid - I don't suppose he had any choice in the matter. It's what they do - use you then cast you aside like a used teabag. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: olddude Date: 25 Jul 11 - 08:06 PM It is an interesting thread not because of me starting it .. it is about exactly that, what would you do ... I mean we tell the kids how to behave, we know they are going to do stuff and I don't care what background they are raised in. A 15 year old thinks she is in love and so does the guy .. or the guy just wants to get laid (most don't know the difference) But if it were your kid or mine, what would you want the neighbor to do? It really is a tough call right? Again I am being selfish because I have a lot of my own issues on my plate with the cancer and mom and everything else .. but what is the right thing and the thing we really should do? I don't know the answer to this question. I don't know what I would want if it were my kid at that age if I really wanted a neighbor to tell me ... crazy isn't it |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: gnu Date: 25 Jul 11 - 08:00 PM CH... "Just out of curiosity: Would anyone's advice be different if these kids were 13- or 14-year-olds?" Not mine. Mine is predicated on that fact that someone else's business is their business... notwithstanding my recent posts and concerns I raised and offered for discussion. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: olddude Date: 25 Jul 11 - 07:52 PM I don't care if she wants to ride him on the grass but that location is pretty unsafe to do so ... funny thing is there are woods all around within walking distance, couln't they wait for five more minutes to hit the woods. |
|
Subject: Side question... From: Crowhugger Date: 25 Jul 11 - 07:52 PM Just out of curiosity: Would anyone's advice be different if these kids were 13- or 14-year-olds? |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: olddude Date: 25 Jul 11 - 07:50 PM Janie that is the best idea yet. Hey Smokey ahhhh I know what they were doing, like she is on top of him ... ahhh no I know exactly what they were doing ... i turned away really fast but they had it going pretty good ... Janie's idea is the best one I have heard yet, please do let me know. right now my action is to do nothing at all and if they get caught again by someone else they get caught again ... I just have so much on my own plate that I can't handle a shoot the messenger situation. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: gnu Date: 25 Jul 11 - 07:05 PM Interesting, Janie. I am very interested as to what he will render as his adice. However, remember that this is a totally free speech forum. No matter what he says, he will be citicized and some peeps out there in cyberspace are not kind. If he (and you are) is cool with that, I am, again, interested in his views. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: Janie Date: 25 Jul 11 - 06:58 PM I started to type a response, then decided to ask my 17 year old son to read this thread, paying attention to the variety of opinions, think about it, and then let me know what he thinks would be the responsible choice for Dan to make. He has read it, and is pondering. I'll get back to you. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: gnu Date: 25 Jul 11 - 05:27 PM Bobert, you might be right given your comments and BWL's comments just now but I still ain't sure it's Dan's business. Why does Dan have any business with something that is not his business? Advice to a young person out of concern for that young person (and her boy)??? Maybe... maybe... but it's a tough call. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: Bobert Date: 25 Jul 11 - 05:20 PM I mean, let's get real here fir one minute... How many folks here haven't had sex outside??? Hmmmmmm??? Not too many hands went up??? Okay, maybe they thought that no one would see them... Big deal... They were seen... Telling the parents ain't gonna stop them from having sex, is it??? So it boils down to appropriate (?) places to have sex... But, no, if Oldster knocks on the door and tells the neighbor than nothing positive is going to come out of... Only bad stuff... Teaching moment, my butt... Bunch of screaming and nothing will change except a wedges will be inserted (no pun intended) between these kids and their parents and maybe Old-ster and the neighbors, who has a history of problem neighbors already... Maybe a little light comment to the girl from Oldster might be in order like, "Next time, go back in the woods..." B~ |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: Justa Picker Date: 25 Jul 11 - 05:14 PM Keep it to yourself and "Mind Your Own Bidness" (as Taj Mahal sang.) |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 25 Jul 11 - 05:09 PM I'd talk to at least one of the kids, not because they're having sex, which is normal, but because they're doing it in public view which is more dangerous than they think. If they should be caught by the cops or reported by someone less open-minded than Dan, they would be charged with a sex crime. And, in its efforts to help prevent the threat of serious sexual crime, the criminal justice system has lumped perpetrators of all sex crimes, from forcible rape to public urination, together on sexual offender databases. One of those databases is the last place anybody wants their name to be. Do those kids understand that, if they were to be convicted, they could never live within a certain distance of a school, or that the law would require that all their neighbors be informed of their offender status? And do they understand that those neighbors aren't going to ask why they're on the sex offender registry and give them a chance to explain about how they'd had a couple of beers and were porkin' in the side yard back when they were teenagers. Those neighbors are automatically going to think they're rapists or child molesters. Those kids need to understand that public indecency may be a minor offense, but the consequences can hang around for life. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: Donuel Date: 25 Jul 11 - 04:39 PM livelylass always seems to give common sense answers that are helpfull while the rest of use poke fun make puns and point out the injustice inherent in the system. * OUch see the injustice inherent in the system? As a man, it is more prudent for you to stay out of it. Nothing ventured nothing gained. On the other hand Old dude, show business seems to be in your family blood, so why not talk to the kids and offer them You tube movie deals and make some after school specials; like Spendor in the Grass, Sexatar, 9 months later, Harry Spotter and the Slick Canal. Just keep them G rated. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: Smokey. Date: 25 Jul 11 - 04:34 PM ...or merely compromise him in some way, for the future purpose of blackmail. Maybe Dave the building manager isn't as innocent as he would have us believe.. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: gnu Date: 25 Jul 11 - 04:30 PM I believe the wise words of Megan L come from a (wise) woman, CH. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: Crowhugger Date: 25 Jul 11 - 04:25 PM Mm-hmm. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: Smokey. Date: 25 Jul 11 - 04:06 PM She might just have been mugging the poor lad for his mobile phone or something.. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: Crowhugger Date: 25 Jul 11 - 04:04 PM I dunno Smokey, the dudester's OP was pretty clear about what he saw. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: Smokey. Date: 25 Jul 11 - 04:01 PM Of course, it might not necessarily have been all that it seemed. We'll probably know more when we've heard from Dave the building manager. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: Crowhugger Date: 25 Jul 11 - 03:47 PM Am I right that it's mostly men who want to ignore it and mostly women who want to use it as a teaching opportunity? I'm not sure of every poster's gender but that's approximately how it looks. Gee, almost like a marriage... |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: Rapparee Date: 25 Jul 11 - 03:47 PM Turn the lawn sprinklers on. Take a picture with a flash -- you can leave the lens cap on. Use a pea shooter on an exposed part of his anatomy. Use a water gun -- a super-soaker is good. Ask if you can have a turn. Stand behind a fence and laugh. Me though, I'd mind my own business. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: Megan L Date: 25 Jul 11 - 03:43 PM Unless she was being raped it takes two to do the horizontal tango as far as this auld wife remembers. A bit of advice my mother gave me "Check yer ain gairden afore ye luk fur weeds in yer neebors" |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: Lox Date: 25 Jul 11 - 03:40 PM Maybe a small bucket of ice cold water wouldn't be entirely immoral .... |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: GUEST,livelylass Date: 25 Jul 11 - 03:38 PM Surprises me the amount of people who if they knew the kids, wouldn't even mention seeing them screwing in the grass next to their house! If it was my house and they were kids I knew, I'd say something to them same as I'd say something to anyone. Why so nervous folkies? If they're out there screwing in a public place they have to be aware there will be neighbours around, though they might not give a crap of course - wouldn't be the first time kids thought they owned the world. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: Crowhugger Date: 25 Jul 11 - 03:38 PM If I'd witnessed such behaviour, before choosing to do nothing I would ask myself: Which worst-case outcome can I accept with least regret... Possible bad outcomes of inaction: ...The girl has a baby to put up for adoption in a few months' time? ...The girl gets an STD or post-abortion infection that renders her infertile? ...Their bare butt antics end up on youtube? Possible bad outcomes of action: ...The parent(s) or the kid(s) screams at me or worse, and calls me a liar and tells all the other neighbours I'm a pervert? In any case one need not rat. Why not speak to those who were careless? If you decide to talk to the girl alone, take a female witness, ideally someone closer to her age than yours. If you saw your neighbour's 5 year old & friend run out from between parked cars would you do nothing? Consider that teenagers are adult bodies often accompanied by a child's underdeveloped impulse control. Rightly or wrongly I would choose--not gladly but I'd still choose--to risk making an enemy over the risk of life-long damage to a teenaged girl any day of the week. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: Richard Bridge Date: 25 Jul 11 - 03:37 PM Quite so Bobster |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: Bobert Date: 25 Jul 11 - 03:33 PM 15 or 16??? This ain't the 50s, Olster... Kid are having sex at 12 and 13 these days... Leave 'um be... B~ |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: GUEST,Eliza Date: 25 Jul 11 - 03:28 PM Say and do nothing. Neither the young people nor their parents would be thrilled you mentioned it. They'd turn on you probably. (As in 'Shoot the Messenger') |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: Smokey. Date: 25 Jul 11 - 02:58 PM Well, they've cheered my day up. Good luck to 'em. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: olddude Date: 25 Jul 11 - 02:52 PM Very good point Captain. I am just keeping my mouth shut and pretend nothing happened like Gnu suggested. It will only cause issues and I got enough of my own to deal with.. Hey the street dept is replacing water lines on my street. They just left their Kubota back hoe in my yard. Wonder what I can get on ebay for it ... anyone need anything dug up ... I got just the ticket here. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: gnu Date: 25 Jul 11 - 02:52 PM Well, IF ya talked to the kid and told him not to be so stupid, it would continue and if they are found out you will be suspected to be an informant. IF ya talk to the parents (one a neighbour), you could end up in shit... with the parents OR even with the kids as mentioned above. Kids THESE days are not to be trusted. Same with parents, even if you KNOW them. This is 2011 and civility and such just seems to have evaporated. Sex happens. Even the birds and the bees do it. It never happened. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: kendall Date: 25 Jul 11 - 02:38 PM Years ago I had occasion to witness such an event, and I told the girl's Father, "If you don't want that halfwit next door for a son in law you should speak to your Daughter." No questions, no interest and he never spoke to me again. I admit it wasn't very diplomatic, but my lack of diplomacy was not the issue. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: Jim Dixon Date: 25 Jul 11 - 02:35 PM Here I am asking myself Should I 1) Give olddude some advice 2) Make a joke of it 3) Do nothing I don't know what to do, either. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: olddude Date: 25 Jul 11 - 02:33 PM Ya know what, I think they may already be busted. That building is very secure. I need a special card key to get in and then a code to get into the data center and offices. I never thought about it but there maybe cameras on the outside between buildings. If so Dave the building manager got an eye full this morning. pretty stupid place actually to do such .... |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: Jack the Sailor Date: 25 Jul 11 - 02:16 PM Did u read this in Pemthouse? |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: Smokey. Date: 25 Jul 11 - 02:13 PM Ah, the post-coital brew.. best drink of the day. So, OldDude - what exactly did you see? |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: Jack the Sailor Date: 25 Jul 11 - 02:08 PM And did she even come? Teenage boys can be pretty fundamental anyway, get it in one of the holes, make a mess, go home for tea. It is not like that in the US, not at all. They drink Mountain Dew instead of tea. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: Jack the Sailor Date: 25 Jul 11 - 02:06 PM catchy name for the website "yougotojailifyouwatchunberagesex.com? |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: GUEST,livelylass Date: 25 Jul 11 - 02:05 PM And did she even come? Teenage boys can be pretty fundamental anyway, get it in one of the holes, make a mess, go home for tea.. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: olddude Date: 25 Jul 11 - 02:03 PM Pay per view, now that is a good money making idea. We would have to come up with a catchy name for the website. so Gnu you are saying let it be ... that is what I am going to do ... |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: Smokey. Date: 25 Jul 11 - 01:57 PM It's probably a bit unreasonable to be making assumptions about their character.. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: Richard Bridge Date: 25 Jul 11 - 01:51 PM Oh fuck, here come the fundies... |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: GUEST,livelylass Date: 25 Jul 11 - 01:50 PM 'The seX Factor': our young lusty contestants get rated on their 'talents' by a panel of vacuous celebrity judges before the decider where they have sex with a powerful music industry mogul in order to secure a contract which will enable them become a vacuous celebrity too! I know, it sounds strangely familiar.. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: GUEST,leeneia Date: 25 Jul 11 - 01:47 PM Somebody here said that what the kids do with their private lives is their business. Excuse me? Would anyone here want to be the parent of a pregnant 15-year old? Or a teenager with VD? If this goes haywire, it's the adults who will bear the brunt, and that makes the kids' behavior their parents' business. Also, I seriously question the morals and wisdom of a boy who would have sex with a girl in such a risky location. Doesn't he know that alleys are a good place for alkies and druggies to hang out? |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: Smokey. Date: 25 Jul 11 - 01:40 PM Do they have a loud-hailer on that thing? We could bellow encouragement and useful advice at them.. "Haven't you heard of foreplay, lad?" - "Steady on pet, someone could slip on that." |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: gnu Date: 25 Jul 11 - 01:38 PM It never happened. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: GUEST,livelylass Date: 25 Jul 11 - 01:34 PM I hear tell that Jack is planning to be in the bushes with a flamethrower ready to singe their arse hairs at a crucial moment too.. Olddude are you going to make this next event pay per view? Not that I'm a weirdo like you lot or anything, just asking in the interest of research for my blog on "American folk-customs", you know I hear they do some pretty strange things over in the colonies.. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: olddude Date: 25 Jul 11 - 01:05 PM Smokey LOL, do you want me to have the CIA point the Surveillance Satellite for ya ... ya can get close up that way LOL |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: Jack the Sailor Date: 25 Jul 11 - 01:03 PM nasty.teen.porn.satelite.net |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: Smokey. Date: 25 Jul 11 - 01:01 PM Say nothing to them or their parents, just mention it discreetly on an international forum for the amusement of us more enlightened folk. How do we find this place on Google Earth? |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: olddude Date: 25 Jul 11 - 12:52 PM I liked your flame thrower post on the other thread ... You make me laugh Jack thanks |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: Jack the Sailor Date: 25 Jul 11 - 12:20 PM Water laced with saltpeter and blue dye |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: alanabit Date: 25 Jul 11 - 12:18 PM No. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: GUEST Date: 25 Jul 11 - 12:16 PM Before you post the movie on you tube you ask the parents how much money... no no Make a vacation video of many edited scenes and invite the parents over... naw Ask Jack he knows all the new ins and outs... |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: Jack the Sailor Date: 25 Jul 11 - 11:46 AM If you can't see that from reading this thread, then I can't explain it. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: GUEST,livelylass Date: 25 Jul 11 - 11:44 AM Gotta edit this for you Olddude: "in this cell phone age those kids could be seeing themselves in action on youtube had it been [one of their mates] that saw them" |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: Smedley Date: 25 Jul 11 - 11:44 AM Why is it 'self-destructive' ??? |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: Jack the Sailor Date: 25 Jul 11 - 11:27 AM It is irresponsible and self-destructive behavior. If you think it will help, you have a moral obligation to do something. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: Silas Date: 25 Jul 11 - 11:23 AM What the hell has it to do with anyone but themselves? I can't even believe that you would even consider telling anyone about it, let alone their parents! |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: Jack the Sailor Date: 25 Jul 11 - 11:19 AM Don't kids today have plenty of chances for privacy? I suspect that they were doing it outside for the "thrill." If it happens again, cloroform them and tattoo "don't be stupid" on their buts. Preferably in chinese characters. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: olddude Date: 25 Jul 11 - 11:12 AM I am with the consensus here, I am just going to stay out of it. I don't think anything good would become of it. Maybe if they keep using the place I will give the boyfriend a short talk but nothing good can come out of it just hurt feeling and embarrassment I think. Thanks for the advice for sure. I just turn away immediately but in this cell phone age those kids could be seeing themselves in action on youtube had it been some creep that saw them |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: Bill D Date: 25 Jul 11 - 11:09 AM You are unlikely to affect their behavior, no matter what you do or say....and 'telling' their parents just complicates it all. Unless you know one of the kids well enough to feel that they would TAKE your advice, it's probably best to just shrug... |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: Jack the Sailor Date: 25 Jul 11 - 11:05 AM I certainly would not me offering someone else's naked and under-aged daughter condoms or sexual advice. A bucket of cold water with toilet bowl cleaner would remind them or their indiscretion for a very long time. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: Bettynh Date: 25 Jul 11 - 11:00 AM I'm with livelylass on this one. I'd be sure they each had a handfull of condoms, and the message "don't be stupid about sex." Whether you just slip them into their pocket with a note, or have a discussion is up to you. Actually having the condoms is the importan part, though. They are embarrassing/potentially dangerous for them to buy (might be seen, etc.). |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: GUEST,livelylass Date: 25 Jul 11 - 10:50 AM I dunno, if I knew them I'd have a word. As I'm female myself and the girl was (potentially?) underage, I'd probably at least ask the teenage girl if she was protected. Teenage pregnancies ain't funny and not worth being coy about IMO. I still think by the house is a bit skanky tho', ain't he got a car? |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: John MacKenzie Date: 25 Jul 11 - 10:49 AM Leave it. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: Ebbie Date: 25 Jul 11 - 10:49 AM If the youngsters are the same age, is it still statuatory rape? Don't see how. On the other hand, if the boy was/is 18 and the girl 15/16 and it were discovered he would have to register as a sex offender. Which I also don't understand. How well do you know the parents? If I knew them quite well, I might say something to them on the order of "Judging by what I saw I think your daughter and her boyfriend may be at the brink of something serious." In other words, pretend you didn't see the actual activity. But I don't know. I have never known, either, whether I would tell a good friend that her/his SO was cheating. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: GUEST,Patsy Date: 25 Jul 11 - 10:40 AM I would just make the kids aware that if you were able to catch sight of them someone not so nice might be able to as well including the law. This is a difficult time especially as the long school summer holidays are approaching some schools might have broken up for summer already, all that free time the hot summer weather. Oh I wish I was that young again. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: MikeL2 Date: 25 Jul 11 - 10:36 AM hi dan I would keep out of it. "Interfering" could bring you grief. Good intentions are fine but can be often misunderstood. Stay away is my advice. Regards MikeL2 |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: Richard Bridge Date: 25 Jul 11 - 10:23 AM I think you are in the USA. I think the USA has a very backward looking attitude to such things and still uses expressions like "statutory rape". I would stay very, very stumm. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: Jack the Sailor Date: 25 Jul 11 - 10:16 AM I think cold water is the only moral option in this case. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: Rapparee Date: 25 Jul 11 - 10:09 AM I'd mind my own business, but I do like the hose suggestion. You should have been whistling or something as you approached. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: Lox Date: 25 Jul 11 - 09:58 AM What they do is their business. However, they take a risk by doing it it the yard and they would be mortified to think that they had been seen. Thankfully it was by someone sensible and not by a wierdo or by a policeman. On that Basis, I might, at the right opportunity, state "What you do with your private life is your business, but you need to be more careful in case the wrong person sees you". Apart from that, teenagers sneaking around has been par for the case since long before romeo and juliet did it. These will probably be the most magical days of their lives so don't interfere would be my advice. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: olddude Date: 25 Jul 11 - 09:55 AM My inclination is to say nothing, not my business. But had it been the police who do check that building on their regular rounds ... ahhhh would not have been good for the kids at all ... got to think about this one |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: GUEST,Bizibod Date: 25 Jul 11 - 09:44 AM What is it that you want to say to them ? :) Offer of a room ? Contraceptive advice ? Tricky. I think maybe say nothing to anyone. Think how they'd feel to know what you'd seen, and keep schtum. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: GUEST,livelylass Date: 25 Jul 11 - 09:42 AM You could have a word with the young guy I suppose, make sure he's using protection. Encourage him to take her elsewhere too, by the house is plain skanky.. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: olddude Date: 25 Jul 11 - 09:34 AM LOL, I never thought of that Jack, that would have worked |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Should I Tell ? From: Jack the Sailor Date: 25 Jul 11 - 09:23 AM If there is a garden hose handy...... |
|
Subject: BS: Should I Tell ? From: olddude Date: 25 Jul 11 - 09:20 AM Seriously just before dark on Sunday I had to go to my clients office down the street to look at a software issue. I came in the office through the loading dock. Between the buildings, I saw my neighbors daughter 15 or 16 having sex with her boyfriend the same age on the grass between the buildings. Should I 1) Tell the parents 2) Talk to the kids directly (I know them) 3) Do nothing I really don't know what to do. |
