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BS: how much bullshit hides in your text?

Joe_F 31 Jul 11 - 09:15 PM
JohnInKansas 30 Jul 11 - 09:21 PM
kendall 30 Jul 11 - 08:34 PM
Bonzo3legs 30 Jul 11 - 01:34 PM
McGrath of Harlow 30 Jul 11 - 01:13 PM
GUEST,Jon 30 Jul 11 - 12:17 PM
GUEST,Jon 30 Jul 11 - 12:02 PM
GUEST,number 6 30 Jul 11 - 11:15 AM
frogprince 30 Jul 11 - 11:11 AM
akenaton 30 Jul 11 - 10:19 AM
Crowhugger 30 Jul 11 - 10:10 AM
GUEST,Eliza 30 Jul 11 - 08:00 AM
Bonzo3legs 30 Jul 11 - 06:39 AM
Ed T 29 Jul 11 - 07:55 PM
Little Hawk 29 Jul 11 - 07:44 PM
GUEST,Jon 29 Jul 11 - 05:29 PM
Little Hawk 29 Jul 11 - 05:23 PM
GUEST,Eliza 29 Jul 11 - 05:18 PM
PoppaGator 29 Jul 11 - 04:47 PM
Little Hawk 29 Jul 11 - 04:44 PM
PoppaGator 29 Jul 11 - 04:14 PM
GUEST,Eliza 29 Jul 11 - 03:14 PM
olddude 29 Jul 11 - 01:18 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 29 Jul 11 - 12:04 PM
Little Hawk 29 Jul 11 - 11:56 AM
GUEST,Jon 29 Jul 11 - 08:08 AM
McGrath of Harlow 29 Jul 11 - 07:59 AM
GUEST,Guest from Sanity 29 Jul 11 - 06:04 AM
GUEST,Guest from Sanity 29 Jul 11 - 06:02 AM
GUEST,Patsy 29 Jul 11 - 04:51 AM
GUEST,Steamin' Willie 29 Jul 11 - 04:24 AM
JohnInKansas 29 Jul 11 - 02:57 AM
Little Hawk 29 Jul 11 - 12:28 AM
Little Hawk 29 Jul 11 - 12:22 AM
Jim Dixon 29 Jul 11 - 12:02 AM
katlaughing 28 Jul 11 - 11:14 PM
michaelr 28 Jul 11 - 08:40 PM
JohnInKansas 28 Jul 11 - 08:31 PM
catspaw49 28 Jul 11 - 08:25 PM
GUEST,Jon 28 Jul 11 - 08:20 PM
GUEST 28 Jul 11 - 08:19 PM
GUEST,number 6 28 Jul 11 - 08:19 PM
catspaw49 28 Jul 11 - 08:17 PM
GUEST,Jon 28 Jul 11 - 08:04 PM
Donuel 28 Jul 11 - 08:03 PM
Uncle_DaveO 28 Jul 11 - 08:01 PM
Bill D 28 Jul 11 - 07:49 PM
Jim Dixon 28 Jul 11 - 07:49 PM
gnu 28 Jul 11 - 07:47 PM
Jim Dixon 28 Jul 11 - 07:38 PM

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Subject: RE: BS: how much bullshit hides in your text?
From: Joe_F
Date: 31 Jul 11 - 09:15 PM

"Hides"? I flatter myself that the bullshit in my text is all in plain sight.


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Subject: RE: BS: how much bullshit hides in your text?
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 30 Jul 11 - 09:21 PM


From: PoppaGator - PM
Date: 29 Jul 11 - 04:47 PM

Kinda what we've all done in school when assigned a "five page" or "500 word" paper on a topic we don't know much about.


I always had trouble keeping it to anything close to the maximum allowed. The subjects in "Freshman Humanities" were just so interesting. Hume, Kant, Kafka, Sartre, Jung, Cellini, Rousseau, Dante, Camus, et. al. (the first semester) just can't be explained in only 500 words. Such brilliance!

Maybe it was 'cause I'd read most of them in Jr. Hi. and could see the "deeper meanings."

John


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Subject: RE: BS: how much bullshit hides in your text?
From: kendall
Date: 30 Jul 11 - 08:34 PM

140 characters, 32 words. BS index zero.


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Subject: RE: BS: how much bullshit hides in your text?
From: Bonzo3legs
Date: 30 Jul 11 - 01:34 PM

Thanks for you kind message Eliza, arrived home a short while ago with a veritable pharmacy!! - had to wait until the bladder scan gave the all clear reading!


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Subject: RE: BS: how much bullshit hides in your text?
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 30 Jul 11 - 01:13 PM

That's really holistic!


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Subject: RE: BS: how much bullshit hides in your text?
From: GUEST,Jon
Date: 30 Jul 11 - 12:17 PM

I have just achieved the perfect score of 1.0.

Due to strategic management considerations it has become necessary to investigate the long term viability of our resources policy. Team meetings will be coordinated under the guidance of inter-departmental heads. Successful outcomes necessarily will follow due process adhering to and evaluating the impact on implied outcomes and targets.


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Subject: RE: BS: how much bullshit hides in your text?
From: GUEST,Jon
Date: 30 Jul 11 - 12:02 PM

Frogpince, if you started yours:

Due to strategic management planning, we are facing....

You would up it from 0.59 to 0.81 and be in the PR-Expert, etc. category.


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Subject: RE: BS: how much bullshit hides in your text?
From: GUEST,number 6
Date: 30 Jul 11 - 11:15 AM

"newspeak" .... a form of bullshit

When I heard about the Bla Bla Meter on the CBC ... it was newspeak the meter is (supposed) to measure, which was referred to a BS.

biLL


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Subject: RE: BS: how much bullshit hides in your text?
From: frogprince
Date: 30 Jul 11 - 11:11 AM

I'm kinda disappointed; this only registered .59.

We are facing an urgent need to leverage the parameters of our discourse here significantly, We need to evolve from a push process, in which most content production is propelled by the previous stages of production, toward a pull process. To clarify the dimensions of this. In a pull process, substantiation is produced by the need for a visible presentation of concepts spontaineously generated in the context of the cerebral matter of the participants. I sincerely hope we are able to recalibrate our motivating factors in order to facilitate the implementation of this essential goal. If we fail in this, we are in danger of alienating a significant faction of our constituancy.


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Subject: RE: BS: how much bullshit hides in your text?
From: akenaton
Date: 30 Jul 11 - 10:19 AM

I dont think the meter relates to "factual bullshit", but rather proper "readable English",without all the newspeak.


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Subject: RE: BS: how much bullshit hides in your text?
From: Crowhugger
Date: 30 Jul 11 - 10:10 AM

The meter didn't recognize a text weather forecast as English so I added some punctuation, conjunctions etc. and wrote out the temperatures in words:

Today: Sunny, becoming a mix of sun and cloud this afternoon. High twenty-nine with a UV index of nine or very high. Tonight, a few clouds and a low of seventeen degrees. Sunday, a mix of sun and cloud. Thirty percent chance of showers late in the afternoon and in the evening with risk of a thunderstorm. High thirty-one degrees. Monday, sunny and a low of seventeen degrees, high twenty-nine. Tuesday sunny and Low fifteen, high twenty-nine.

The above passage measured in at 0.04. Silly meter doesn't even know that a forecast high of 29°C for several days in a row is definitely bullshit.


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Subject: RE: BS: how much bullshit hides in your text?
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 30 Jul 11 - 08:00 AM

Best wishes to you and your wife, Bonzo. Hope she's home soon. Eliza


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Subject: RE: BS: how much bullshit hides in your text?
From: Bonzo3legs
Date: 30 Jul 11 - 06:39 AM

My wife had a TVT on Thursday. She now has to wee more than is left behind before she can go home. Our dog is being delivered at 6pm, so I have 90 minutes journey home (at least) then return to the hospital, and later back home - no bullshit there!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: how much bullshit hides in your text?
From: Ed T
Date: 29 Jul 11 - 07:55 PM

"Yadda, yadda, yadda"

Wouldn't one Yadda suffice?


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Subject: RE: BS: how much bullshit hides in your text?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Jul 11 - 07:44 PM

Marvelous work, Jon!!!!!!!!! Simply breathtaking! Bravo!

There is a great career in store for you at EXXON or the Rand Corporation. ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: how much bullshit hides in your text?
From: GUEST,Jon
Date: 29 Jul 11 - 05:29 PM

I've cracked it LH. A slight modification to my previous attempt:

Balanced policy capability is to be achieved by parallel policy programming by parallel reciprocal sophistication. Strategic management options include optimal management contingency and responsive organisational contingency.
This requires synchronised third-generation digital flexibility and functional logistical sophistication.
It must be noted that consideration must be given to compatible third-generation capability and compatible incremental projection.
The responsive organisational concept of systematised digital projection will require further functional digital programming.

Your text: 593 charactes, 70 words
Bullshit Index :1.13
Congratulations, you managed to blow up our index scale from 0 to 1. It is highly unlikely that you will impress anybody else, but you did manage to impress us!


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Subject: RE: BS: how much bullshit hides in your text?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Jul 11 - 05:23 PM

Okay, I composed this passage:

"The extremely wet, fluid water poured in a streaming cataract of tempestuous liquidity, mercilessly and cruelly inundating everything visible as far as the eye could see. Jake Tillington clung grimly to the rail that circumscribed the perimeter of the upper observation deck on his luxury penthouse apartment and reminded himself for the umpteenth time that they had all been warned! Yes, many warnings had been issued by many prophets, pundits, climate-control experts, and janitorial staff as to the inexorable and unavoidable changes that were occuring in the world and which would alter forever more the casual tenor of our times, these times in which we all live and conduct our day to day lives. But who had listened, cocked an ear, given a serious measure of quality time, payed heed, and been receptive to those warnings? Who among us had had the wit, the presence of mind, the maturity, and the sang froid to bear down, bite the bullet, and face the inevitable and inescapable truth? These were the thoughts that passed through Jake's mind, rather like half-empty buses passing through an overcrowded intersection, shouldering aside for a moment the lesser vehicles around them as a giant pachyderm shoulders aside a herd of wildebeest before it is lost in the approaching denoument of darkness and of night."

I subjected it to the Bla-Bla Meter. It said:

"Bullshit Index :0.13
Your text shows only a few indications of 'bullshit'-English."

WHAT does it take to earn the contempt of the Bla-Bla Meter????


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Subject: RE: BS: how much bullshit hides in your text?
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 29 Jul 11 - 05:18 PM

In other words, waffle?


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Subject: RE: BS: how much bullshit hides in your text?
From: PoppaGator
Date: 29 Jul 11 - 04:47 PM

I would imagine that the "bullshit" detectable by this kind of testing is circumlocution ~ using a lot of big words to express each simple thought.

Kinda what we've all done in school when assigned a "five page" or "500 word" paper on a topic we don't know much about.


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Subject: RE: BS: how much bullshit hides in your text?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Jul 11 - 04:44 PM

What we really need is a yearly statement of policy from a corporate CEO...or a sales pitch for the new product line from someone on the corporate board of directors. Or a political speech about "entitlements".


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Subject: RE: BS: how much bullshit hides in your text?
From: PoppaGator
Date: 29 Jul 11 - 04:14 PM

I just test-ran my last Mudcat post, a good five paragraphs long on the subject of Catholic-Church confession. I thought my score was pretty good:

Your text: 1274 charactes, 212 words
Bullshit Index :0.19


Actually, it seems about average in comparison to others who have posted here. (Of course, those with higher ~ poorer ~ scores might be more reluctant to post their results.)


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Subject: RE: BS: how much bullshit hides in your text?
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 29 Jul 11 - 03:14 PM

I scored 0.02, but I'm not sure what that proves (if anything!) I'm not even sure what they mean by 'bullshit hiding in your text'. What exactly IS bullshit? Lies? Nonsense? Posturing?


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Subject: RE: BS: how much bullshit hides in your text?
From: olddude
Date: 29 Jul 11 - 01:18 PM

In the text or Spaw's unders?


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Subject: RE: BS: how much bullshit hides in your text?
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 29 Jul 11 - 12:04 PM

I like to think that my bullshit doesn't hide in my text in a cowardly fashion, but boldly stands right out there in plain sight where anyone can see it.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: how much bullshit hides in your text?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Jul 11 - 11:56 AM

Read that again, GfS! ;-) I said it's failing to detect the bullshit in their posts.


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Subject: RE: BS: how much bullshit hides in your text?
From: GUEST,Jon
Date: 29 Jul 11 - 08:08 AM

Bullshit bullshit detector...

I'm not sure about that, it might not be that bad at picking out what I think its intended to do. That is detect a lot of words that don't really mean anything, eg management speak, political jargon, etc.

Trying that way, I did manage to get:


Bullshit Index :0.87
This reeks. We bet you're a PR-Expert, Politician, Consultant or Scientist. If there is a message, it's unlikely it will reach anyone. Maybe you should spend less effort on trying to impress somebody.


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Subject: RE: BS: how much bullshit hides in your text?
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 29 Jul 11 - 07:59 AM

Bullshit bullshit detector...


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Subject: RE: BS: how much bullshit hides in your text?
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 29 Jul 11 - 06:04 AM

Little Hawk: "Hmmm. Nope. It's failing utterly to detect absolutely massive amounts of bullshit in a whole series of posts I've submitted to it, most of them by Amos or Rapparee. Something is seriously wrong."

Wrong????????????????

GfS


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Subject: RE: BS: how much bullshit hides in your text?
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 29 Jul 11 - 06:02 AM

I too, thought of checking All the posters from a thread I was just on, in which myself and another poster were being radically attacked, with lies and anything else that 'one of the posters' could come up with...just on one 'scroll down'....the Bullshit Checker' could not even recognize 5, yes FIVE of his post as an English body text!!!!!

Talk about trying to have a reasonable discussion with an extreme idiot!!!...Jeez!

GfS

P.S....and the highest 'Bullshit rating, went to another poster, who jumped in, to side with the other 'ill-informed expert'!!!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: how much bullshit hides in your text?
From: GUEST,Patsy
Date: 29 Jul 11 - 04:51 AM

I scored 0.12 marginal indications of bullshit. I was describing how I love to ride on the back of a motorbike on the open road for hours through the English countryside. It probably weighed up the unpredictability of the English weather for a start.


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Subject: RE: BS: how much bullshit hides in your text?
From: GUEST,Steamin' Willie
Date: 29 Jul 11 - 04:24 AM

Interesting..

Just ran through a couple of my longer contributions and this tool has picked up a few things I reluctantly agree with.

However, I cut and pasted a typical contribution by M'Unlearned Friend and guess what? it's still whirring away calculating. He appears to have beaten a 64 bit operating system.


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Subject: RE: BS: how much bullshit hides in your text?
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 29 Jul 11 - 02:57 AM

It probably only recognizes "ad-speak" and "political blather," those being the most offensive kinds.

It would seem to have much more difficulty when we feed the common kinds of more sophisticated stuff found here into it. It apparently considers whether "meaningful statements" are clearly made, and much of our bullshit is easily understood and has exceedingly (sometimes excrucatingly) clear meaning.

I considered looking for a classic Amos, but he cuts and pastes so much that anything submitted would be an analysis of somebody else.

John


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Subject: RE: BS: how much bullshit hides in your text?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Jul 11 - 12:28 AM

Hmmm. Nope. It's failing utterly to detect absolutely massive amounts of bullshit in a whole series of posts I've submitted to it, most of them by Amos or Rapparee. Something is seriously wrong.


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Subject: RE: BS: how much bullshit hides in your text?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Jul 11 - 12:22 AM

We need to put one of Amos's more florid efforts into it. Hang on...


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Subject: RE: BS: how much bullshit hides in your text?
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 29 Jul 11 - 12:02 AM

President Obama's 2011 State of the Union Address (found here):

Your text: 15000 charactes, 2603 words
Bullshit Index :0.22
Your text shows some indications of 'bullshit'-English, but is still within an acceptable range.

[To make a fair comparison, we need to find some complete speeches by some other politicians--not just highlights selected by some reporter.]


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Subject: RE: BS: how much bullshit hides in your text?
From: katlaughing
Date: 28 Jul 11 - 11:14 PM

LOL...thanks for the fun, folks!

Donuel, I love what you wrote about Mducat!

Here's what I got from the first, long paragraph of a letter I wrote to an ex-friend:

Bullshit Index :0.09
Your text shows no or marginal indications of 'bullshit'-English.

Guess I was pretty direct!


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Subject: RE: BS: how much bullshit hides in your text?
From: michaelr
Date: 28 Jul 11 - 08:40 PM

Well if it doesn't recognize Spaw's BS as such, it obviously doesn't work!


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Subject: RE: BS: how much bullshit hides in your text?
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 28 Jul 11 - 08:31 PM

The opening page for Microsoft Vista Help

Your text: 667 charactes, 110 words
Bullshit Index :0.41
Something's getting a bit fishy. You probably want to sell something, or you're trying to impress somebody. It still may be an acceptable result for a scientific text.

Scientific it ain't IMO, so I'd say BULLSHIT.

John


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Subject: RE: BS: how much bullshit hides in your text?
From: catspaw49
Date: 28 Jul 11 - 08:25 PM

This one shows even LESS !!!

Your text: 2647 charactes, 475 words
Bullshit Index :0.06
Your text shows no or marginal indications of 'bullshit'-English.

No Bullshit Here!!!!

The story of Billie Joe is based in truth but stylized to some degree. It is an old story, dating back to the the late 40's when the only daughter of John Hatch, a Mississippi Klansman of some note, was in love with the first black attorney in the state. Jubilee Simmons was the grandson of slaves and his parents had named him Jubilee because they had both been members of the famous Fisk Jubilee Singers, where they had actually first met and fallen in love. He had gone to law school at the University of Chicago and returned to his family's home state of Mississippi, taking up residence in Carroll county in 1948.

Klansman John Hatch's daughter was known to be a bit wild and young Kelli had already incurred her father's wrath on numerous occasions. Kelli was living with two other 22 year old women in the small town of Campton, Mississippi when she met and began dating Simmons. Her father learned of it a few weeks later and came into town drunk with some Klan buddies to hunt down and kill Simmons. Simmons law offices were across from the county courthouse and through an open window he could hear the drunken invectives hurled his way from across the square. He slipped out a back door and went to Kelli's house to take her away and save them both from the murderous rancor of her father and his equally violent "brethren."

Not finding Jubilee in his office the Klansmen split up to search for him and John Hatch went to his daughter's, presumably to beat her or possibly (and probably) worse. He arrived before the pair had left and headed in the back porch door adjoining the kitchen. Seeing him coming, Simmons grabbed a kitchen knife and jumped atop the counter and then onto the top of the refrigerator that stood by the door. As John Hatch passed, he didn't notice Simmons who then jumped him safely from behind and in the ensuing struggle, Hatch was stabbed with the knife. The lovers bagged his body and threw it off the bridge on their way out of town. They were on their way to Chicago when they were arrested in Clarksville, Tennessee and returned for trial in Mississippi. Jubilee represented both and thanks to the testimony of one of the roommates and Mrs. Hatch, the wife of the deceased and Kelli's mother, who had suffered abuse for years at the hands of her husband, both were acquitted and moved to Chicago where he established a moderately successful practice on the south side.

The original song told the story as it was, but owing to legal considerations, the Gentry version was done instead. The original was titled, "The Day that Jubilee the Barrister Jumped Off of Kelli Hatch's Fridge."



Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: how much bullshit hides in your text?
From: GUEST,Jon
Date: 28 Jul 11 - 08:20 PM

Missed my name above.


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Subject: RE: BS: how much bullshit hides in your text?
From: GUEST
Date: 28 Jul 11 - 08:19 PM

Used a management generator to help me come up with:

Balanced policy capability is to be achieved by parallel policy programming
parallel reciprocal sophistication.
Management options include optimal management contingency and responsive organisational contingency.
This requires synchronised third-generation digital flexibility and functional logistical sophistication.
It must be noted that consideration must be given to compatible third-generation capability and compatible incremental projection.
The responsive organisational concept of systematised digital projection will require further functional digital programming.

That got:

Bullshit Index :0.87
This reeks. We bet you're a PR-Expert, Politician, Consultant or Scientist. If there is a message, it's unlikely it will reach anyone. Maybe you should spend less effort on trying to impress somebody.


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Subject: RE: BS: how much bullshit hides in your text?
From: GUEST,number 6
Date: 28 Jul 11 - 08:19 PM

The author of the bla bla meter is German

so

I tried the the German version .... pumping through some German text ....

the lyrics of Lili Marlene ... in German .... score 0.0

the preface to Hosea by Martin Luther ... in German .... score ??

I'm not going to waste any more time with this BS

biLL ... ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: how much bullshit hides in your text?
From: catspaw49
Date: 28 Jul 11 - 08:17 PM

I think the thing is fucked up pretty bad.   Here's wht it sid about my entry:

Your text: 8064 charactes, 1536 words
Bullshit Index :0.09
Your text shows no or marginal indications of 'bullshit'-English.


And here is what I fed it!

Paw's flattulence when combined with his passion for 'shine and hot wings used to be a big problem for him whenever his roids would flare up....so to speak...and it got to the point that little rubber donut pillows and Preparation H just weren't doing the job anymore. Clete's 6th wife was into all the weird and wacky cures so Cletus was always coming to Paw with his suggestions that he'd heard from her. When Cletus told Paw about acupuncture, he disappeared for about two weeks and I'll be damned if anyone could find him.

The Reg Boys too had their share of wacky cures for everything from the Great White North of Canada, but most of them involved bear grease and other vile and foamy liquids. Then it happened. The whole lot of them were watching my TV down in the den one night and had been subjected to at least nine hours of infomercials while they slugged down Iron City. I had learned from experience to unplug the phone and hide my credit cards on these nights which only took place when Karen was gone. I'm still paying for that quonset hut in the Aleutian Islands and I have the complete collection of Pan Flute Favorites so I have learned, albeit slowly. I think the one that finally got me was the "Great Michigan Getaway Weekend" which they bought and gave to Karen and I for an anniversary present. It was a month before I found out that they had billed it to my Visa and when we went for "rest and relaxation" in beautiful Michigan, it turned out to be clapped out motel run by a Pakistani in downtown Flint, just across from a closed GM factory.

I guess it was about 5:30 AM when Cletus woke me up and said they had the cure for Paw's hemorrhoids. This was more than I wanted or needed to know at 5:30 so after verifying that it wouldn't cost me anything, I said have at it and went back to sleep. When I woke up about 7 I had one of those vague feelings of dread. You know what I mean? Nothing was wrong that I could think of and yet I just felt the world was going to come after me that day. It turned out to be Old Man Rafferty instead....but I'll come to that.

The "boys" arrived back at my place about noon having already left when I woke at 7. They were lugging some huge electric motors into my garage and looking about for tools when I walked in and asked what the hell was going on. Cletus then launched into their "cure" and the reasoning behind it. It seems they had watched an infomercial about the "healing power of magnetism" and saw immediately that this was the way to fix Paw's 'roids. Slowly it all began to come together for me and I began to wonder how in the hell these guys could even remember how to breathe!

In any case, they'd picked up the motors from out back of Bernie's Electrical Supply and were now going to remove the large magnets inside. They idea was to cut a slit in Paw's rubber donut, insert the magnets, and then duct tape the thing back together. I noticed that Buford had an old jockstrap (with cup) that they evidently were going to use to strap the magnets to Paw's ass, again using liberal amounts of duct tape. Listening to Cletus explain all of this and their newfound theory made me begin to question my own existence, as though I really didn't exist in the world I had come to know, but was simply a bit player in a leftover Rod Serling story.

Things started going downhill pretty quickly as the magnets were removed and now were flying across my garage, affixing themselves to various steel things....like my van, my lawnmower, my golf clubs, and a little steel reinforced concrete rabbit that someone had once given us as a joke. I figured that I was going to be better off if they'd finish up somewhere else so I suggested they take all the stuff and head for the pleasant little roadside picnic area on the edge of the village where they could finish rigging Paw up and with any luck, I'd never know anything more about it. After removing the magnets, scratching the hell out of my van, breaking off the head of a 5 iron and the left ear of the rabbit, they left. The picnic area was only about a half mile off, just a bit down Rt.664 and I told them to let me know how it all worked out.

Curiosity is a terrible thing sometimes and about an hour later I grabbed my Weimaraner and his leash and set out as though I were just walking the dog. As I turned on 664 I saw the Boys all walking towards me from the little picnic grove. Paw's ass seemed to be a bit large and he was walking funny, but from a distance I could tell they must have done a good job circling his ass in magnets because outside of a slight limp and a big bulge at the rear of his bibs, Paw looked pretty normal. Then it happened. Trailing the others, Paw walked past Old Man Rafferty's mailbox, a new heavy duty steel one to foil the kids with cars and bats. He first slowed, stopped, then flew backwards and before you could say "dumbfuck" he was hanging from his ass on the mailbox. Ol' Man Rafferty was washing his aging Electra deuce and a quarter and looked up to see what was happening. By that time, Cletus, Buford, and the Reg Boys all were tugging on either Paw or Rafferty's mailbox and though they got him off the mailbox was smashed in and the pole was a goner.

Well I tell you, Rafferty came flying down the drive, gravel spitting up from his shoes, and swearing a blue streak. Paw was laying about 10 foot up the drive where he'd landed after the force of being ripped from the mailbox sent him sailing through the air. Rafferty bent over him and started yelling in his face and Paw was trying to stand up but being weighed down by the Magnetic Ass-Healing Ring. I got up there and tried to get Rafferty to calm down some as the others stood around looking bewildered. Rafferty started blaming me for allowing such "dumbass shitkickers" to stay here and how I should let them rot somewhere else. Before he could say another word, things continued to deteriorate. Paw had gotten to his feet about 15 feet from the Buick and there was a loud clanging thump as one of the hubcaps flew off and affixed itself to Paw's rump. Rafferty grabbed the hubcap and started pulling for all he was worth swinging Paw round and round in a circle. The hubcap folded and broke loose and Paw landed by the side of the road while Rafferty began to rage about his rump-sprung hubcap and twisted mailbox. I got out my checkbook and with a stern look to Cletus asked how much this would cost to keep from calling the police. The sight of my checkbook calmed Rafferty down and my Weimaraner had gone over to the side of the road and was licking Paw's face. Rafferty calculated a sum which I figured was enough to buy a new set of tires and an exhaust system for the Buick and build a brick mailbox, while forcing me nearer to bankruptcy.

Cletus and the rest were circled around me as I handed Rafferty the check and when I turned to go, I saw Paw had gotten to his feet again and was bent over stroking Jaeger's head. The dog has always had a soft spot for Paw and when I whistled for him he reluctantly came back up the drive. Bending over to pick up his leash, I heard Cletus say, "Aw Sheeitt!" Right then I couldn't imagine how things could get worse, but I looked up just in time to see Paw lifted from his feet and his ass attach to the exhaust stack of a passing Peterbilt. I watched as the truck roared off, Paw flailing around and in a blind spot where the driver couldn't see him, and the dumbass Reg boys waving "bye-bye" as the Pete rounded a curve down by the Hopewell place.

We found Paw at the truckstop at Rt.37 and I-70 where the driver had stopped for fuel. When we arrived, the Magnetic Ass-Healing Ring was nowhere to be seen and Paw was sitting on a bag of ice trying to cool the burns from riding 27 miles on an exhaust stack. But I tell you what.....Perhaps it was the scar tissue from the burns that did it, but Paw hasn't had trouble with 'roids since then. Maybe there is something to the power of magnetism.....................


Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: how much bullshit hides in your text?
From: GUEST,Jon
Date: 28 Jul 11 - 08:04 PM

Just tried the Sarah Palin on Education one cutting out the dates in brackets. It gave:

Your text: 1717 charactes, 255 words
Bullshit Index :0.23
Your text shows some indications of 'bullshit'-English, but is still within an acceptable range.


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Subject: RE: BS: how much bullshit hides in your text?
From: Donuel
Date: 28 Jul 11 - 08:03 PM

Jim send that to your paper. Too funny.


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Subject: RE: BS: how much bullshit hides in your text?
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 28 Jul 11 - 08:01 PM

It told me:

Your text: 435 charactes, 78 words
Bullshit Index :0.21

It said something like, "The text showed some indications
indicating bullshit, but was within reasonable limits."


I'm not complaining about that response, but I'd be interested in what the criteria are for the mechanized judgment.

Dave Oesterreich


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Subject: RE: BS: how much bullshit hides in your text?
From: Bill D
Date: 28 Jul 11 - 07:49 PM

"...most "philosophy" is all bullshit."

LOL... Hume OR Kant? I once copied the opening sentence from major works of Hume AND Kant and posted them on the Dept. of Phil. bulletin board, with my comment right under them.

"Well...so far, so good..."

It seems they began with almost exactly the same 'first principle'... "all knowledge begins with experience"

Nawww, John... it ain't bullshit- it just ain't about answers, but about how to ask questions, and how to recognize reasonable attempts at answers. Most 'bullshit' comes from trying to take shortcuts and generalize in order to pretend one HAS answers. (watch Congress on C-Span)


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Subject: RE: BS: how much bullshit hides in your text?
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 28 Jul 11 - 07:49 PM

I copied the text of "Sarah Palin on Education" from http://www.ontheissues.org/Sarah_Palin.htm and got:

Your text: 2047 charactes, 314 words
Bullshit Index :?
Sorry, BlaBla Meter couldn't recognize this as an english body text!


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Subject: RE: BS: how much bullshit hides in your text?
From: gnu
Date: 28 Jul 11 - 07:47 PM

But is IT bullshit? Ahhhh, there's the rubber.


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Subject: RE: BS: how much bullshit hides in your text?
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 28 Jul 11 - 07:38 PM

I put in the entire text of the song MARTIN SAID TO HIS MAN. At first the BlaBlaMeter said it couldn't analyze it. I figured it was because the whole thing was one run-on sentence, so I added some punctuation, and got:

Your text: 1658 charactes, 340 words
Bullshit Index :0.02
Your text shows no or marginal indications of 'bullshit'-English.

--which is ironic, because the song is all about bullshit.


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