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Musicians joke

Alan Day 19 Sep 11 - 03:33 AM
Joe Offer 19 Sep 11 - 03:41 AM
MGM·Lion 19 Sep 11 - 03:49 AM
Reinhard 19 Sep 11 - 04:59 AM
tonyteach1 19 Sep 11 - 06:08 AM
Ross Campbell 19 Sep 11 - 06:43 AM
Alan Day 19 Sep 11 - 06:58 AM
Vic Smith 19 Sep 11 - 09:38 AM
Rapparee 19 Sep 11 - 09:43 AM
GUEST,pete from seven stars link 19 Sep 11 - 12:34 PM
Folkiedave 19 Sep 11 - 12:46 PM
Will Fly 19 Sep 11 - 01:23 PM
katlaughing 19 Sep 11 - 02:27 PM
dick greenhaus 19 Sep 11 - 02:50 PM
terrier 19 Sep 11 - 03:17 PM
Alan Day 19 Sep 11 - 03:30 PM
paul vaughan 19 Sep 11 - 03:42 PM
alanabit 19 Sep 11 - 03:56 PM
foggers 19 Sep 11 - 04:00 PM
Jim Dixon 19 Sep 11 - 05:03 PM
Jim Dixon 19 Sep 11 - 05:20 PM
Bainbo 19 Sep 11 - 05:35 PM
Vic Smith 19 Sep 11 - 06:16 PM
Don Firth 19 Sep 11 - 06:31 PM
terrier 19 Sep 11 - 07:36 PM
Alan Day 20 Sep 11 - 08:18 AM
DrugCrazed 20 Sep 11 - 11:34 AM
GUEST,Azoic 20 Sep 11 - 11:44 AM
GUEST,Azoic 20 Sep 11 - 11:50 AM
GUEST,Azoic 20 Sep 11 - 11:51 AM
GUEST,wordfella 20 Sep 11 - 01:37 PM
jonm 21 Sep 11 - 03:39 AM
GUEST 21 Sep 11 - 06:57 AM
giles earle 21 Sep 11 - 10:35 AM
Cool Beans 21 Sep 11 - 01:26 PM
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Subject: Musicians joke
From: Alan Day
Date: 19 Sep 11 - 03:33 AM

A musicians joke for you,now over 800 hits so I must have done something right.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=23v4K2jzjTg
Al


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Subject: RE: Musicians joke
From: Joe Offer
Date: 19 Sep 11 - 03:41 AM

I don't know how to tell you this, Alan, but I didn't understand the punch line - "I made a right...."

I understood everything up to that part.
What's that phrase - "two nations divided by a common language"?

All the best to you.

-Joe in California-


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Subject: RE: Musicians joke
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 19 Sep 11 - 03:49 AM

"... a right balls-up" = a right mess, dog's breakfast, fiasco ...

Presumably ex meaning of balls = testicles, but colloquially = "nonsense, rubbish, piffle..."

~M~


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Subject: RE: Musicians joke
From: Reinhard
Date: 19 Sep 11 - 04:59 AM

Divided by a common language


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Subject: RE: Musicians joke
From: tonyteach1
Date: 19 Sep 11 - 06:08 AM

Sorry but that comes across as really racist (rolls eyes)


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Subject: RE: Musicians joke
From: Ross Campbell
Date: 19 Sep 11 - 06:43 AM

Joe, trying to figure out "balls-up" may have distracted you from the real punch line which is "Yeah, I heard about that!"

Click to see the old British Telecom logo.

And some of the fleet of vehicles that carried it.

Successive clockwise 90 degree rotations were scurrilously interpreted as:-

1. Minor cock-up
2. Major cock-up
3. Complete balls-up

Possibly the reason the logo isn't in use any more?

Ross


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Subject: RE: Musicians joke
From: Alan Day
Date: 19 Sep 11 - 06:58 AM

If my English is hard to understand my French is worse, in fact at the customs I was asked to speak in English as they would have more chance of understanding what I was saying.
Al


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Subject: RE: Musicians joke
From: Vic Smith
Date: 19 Sep 11 - 09:38 AM

Je have la meme probleme, Alan, mon vieux pal. Quand je talks a La Customs Francais it's com ils n'understand pas what je suis parling about. Even quand je parles tres loud!


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Subject: RE: Musicians joke
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Sep 11 - 09:43 AM

Moi tambien. Mein frankcase esta un petit corrupt, porque je know uno poco of several langues und they keep getting mixed up in ma mens.


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Subject: RE: Musicians joke
From: GUEST,pete from seven stars link
Date: 19 Sep 11 - 12:34 PM

what do you call someone who hangs out with musicians?


a drummer!

i thougth it funny even though i also play drums


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Subject: RE: Musicians joke
From: Folkiedave
Date: 19 Sep 11 - 12:46 PM

A Alan et Vic. J'avais la meme problem. Je parle français comme un vache espanola.


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Subject: RE: Musicians joke
From: Will Fly
Date: 19 Sep 11 - 01:23 PM

J'avais la meme problem. Je parle français comme un vache espanola.

Mmm...

J'avais J'ai la meme problem probleme. Je parle français comme un une vache espanola espagnole.

6/10 See me in my study afterwards. And don't bring the cow...


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Subject: RE: Musicians joke
From: katlaughing
Date: 19 Sep 11 - 02:27 PM

My Rog and I have consorted with you lot, too much, we got it first time and LOL!

Merci beau-coup,

M et Mme de la France


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Subject: RE: Musicians joke
From: dick greenhaus
Date: 19 Sep 11 - 02:50 PM

A band once formed, but they soon relized that the drummer was always dragging the beat. THey tried and tried to work with him, but finally they ha to fire him. He became more and more despondent, and finally went down to the railroad station and threw himself behind the train.


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Subject: RE: Musicians joke
From: terrier
Date: 19 Sep 11 - 03:17 PM

Alan's joke is reminiscent of THE Welsh joke that ends... "but one indisgression with a sheep !...

Oops! Is that racist?


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Subject: RE: Musicians joke
From: Alan Day
Date: 19 Sep 11 - 03:30 PM

Or when I purchased a plastic heron to deter the one eating my goldfish.I mentioned to the salesman "Hold on what if the heron comes down to mate this one?
The salesman replied as quick as a flash "No problems, I have given you the ugly one"!!
For help to interpret my jokes I have a joke explanation booklet with slang dictionary on sale now at an exorbitant price.
Al :)


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Subject: RE: Musicians joke
From: paul vaughan
Date: 19 Sep 11 - 03:42 PM

I got the "balls up" colloquialism and the "I heard about that" punch line, but what on earth is a "Hit Parade"?. I've never heard of it! ;-)


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Subject: RE: Musicians joke
From: alanabit
Date: 19 Sep 11 - 03:56 PM

You caught me a cropper there. It took a second for the punch line to sink in - but it's a real beauty! Thanks for posting.


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Subject: RE: Musicians joke
From: foggers
Date: 19 Sep 11 - 04:00 PM

"Hit Parade" = popular music chart....


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Subject: RE: Musicians joke
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 19 Sep 11 - 05:03 PM

"Your Hit Parade" was actually an old radio—and later, television—show similar to "Top of the Pops."


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Subject: RE: Musicians joke
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 19 Sep 11 - 05:20 PM

In the article that Reinhard linked to, I read this:
    Professor Selinker says he was initially at a loss to understand why the agendas for meetings began with apologies: "What did I have to apologise for?"
I give up. Why would "apologies" be on an agenda? Does apology in Britain mean something different than saying "I'm sorry"?


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Subject: RE: Musicians joke
From: Bainbo
Date: 19 Sep 11 - 05:35 PM

Apologies for absence. People who can't make it to the meeting send their apologies for not being there, usually along with the reason.

At one group I attend regularly, one particular stickler for protocol maintains that if only four people turn up, but 10 send apologies, that's as good as 14 people being there because at least they made the effort. It doesn't seem to matter if it's the same people apologising and not turning up every meeting.


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Subject: RE: Musicians joke
From: Vic Smith
Date: 19 Sep 11 - 06:16 PM

All these comments about poor old drummers......

What is the difference between a live drummer and a drum machine?

With a drum machine, you only have to punch in the rhythm once.


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Subject: RE: Musicians joke
From: Don Firth
Date: 19 Sep 11 - 06:31 PM

Yeah, I'm old enough (cre-e-e-ak) to have heard "Your Hit Parade" on my magic electric radio back in the Forties. I recall some comedian saying that the name of the ad agency for the program, Batten, Barton, Durstine & Osborne, "sounded like a trunk falling downstairs."

Don Firth


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Subject: RE: Musicians joke
From: terrier
Date: 19 Sep 11 - 07:36 PM

A young child says to his mother, "Mom, when I grow up I'd like to be a musician." She replies, "Well honey, you know you can't do both."

So that's what this thread is all about ;)


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Subject: RE: Musicians joke
From: Alan Day
Date: 20 Sep 11 - 08:18 AM

I must say on a more serious note how interesting the comments have been.Many I never even thought would cause confusion "A right Balls Up"
" Top of the hit parade " etc and a few never even got the punch line. It just shows the differences (slight as it may be) between, what I thought would be understood even across the pond.Indeed I did even consider Balls up as being OK and thought no problems with that.Of the 850 ish hits I just wonder how many actually got the joke, or just wondered what the hell it was all about.
Al


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Subject: RE: Musicians joke
From: DrugCrazed
Date: 20 Sep 11 - 11:34 AM

Viola joke: Why are viola players always locked outside their house? Because they can't find the key and never know when to come in.


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Subject: RE: Musicians joke
From: GUEST,Azoic
Date: 20 Sep 11 - 11:44 AM

Q-What's the difference between a jazz musician and an extra-large pizza?A-The pizza can feed a family of three.


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Subject: RE: Musicians joke
From: GUEST,Azoic
Date: 20 Sep 11 - 11:50 AM

Two retired jazz musicians sitting on a park bench,kvetching about their arthritis,watching the sunset in the twilight of their lives.Mordechai to Schlomo:"Oy Vey".Schlomo to Morcechai:"I'm Hip".


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Subject: RE: Musicians joke
From: GUEST,Azoic
Date: 20 Sep 11 - 11:51 AM

Q-What did Kenny G say when he boarded the elevator?A-"Wow,this place really rocks".


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Subject: RE: Musicians joke
From: GUEST,wordfella
Date: 20 Sep 11 - 01:37 PM

Credit for the BBD&O joke goes to Fred Allen...


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Subject: RE: Musicians joke
From: jonm
Date: 21 Sep 11 - 03:39 AM

I know the viola joke above as a singer's joke (and have worked with a few like that!).

Of course, everyone knows that violins and violas are actually the same size. The violin just looks smaller because the player's head is bigger!


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Subject: RE: Musicians joke
From: GUEST
Date: 21 Sep 11 - 06:57 AM

What's the difference between a drummer and a Radox bath?

A Radox bath bucks up the feet.


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Subject: RE: Musicians joke
From: giles earle
Date: 21 Sep 11 - 10:35 AM

And the difference between a soprano soloist and a pirhana fish?

Lipstick


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Subject: RE: Musicians joke
From: Cool Beans
Date: 21 Sep 11 - 01:26 PM

Love the BBD&O joke. Somehow I never heard it before.


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