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BS: Mudcat Christmas-WELCOME 2012 - Tavern

Sandra in Sydney 06 Jan 12 - 04:03 AM
gnu 05 Jan 12 - 01:56 PM
SINSULL 05 Jan 12 - 12:59 PM
Rapparee 05 Jan 12 - 08:42 AM
Stilly River Sage 04 Jan 12 - 11:58 PM
Rapparee 04 Jan 12 - 06:03 PM
Stilly River Sage 04 Jan 12 - 05:42 PM
GUEST 04 Jan 12 - 04:56 AM
Rapparee 03 Jan 12 - 10:21 AM
Stilly River Sage 03 Jan 12 - 01:17 AM
Rapparee 02 Jan 12 - 10:00 PM
Sandra in Sydney 02 Jan 12 - 08:34 PM
Stilly River Sage 02 Jan 12 - 06:55 PM
gnu 02 Jan 12 - 04:18 PM
GUEST,Severn 02 Jan 12 - 03:49 PM
Rapparee 02 Jan 12 - 01:24 PM
Rapparee 01 Jan 12 - 09:32 PM
gnu 01 Jan 12 - 06:47 PM
SINSULL 01 Jan 12 - 05:57 PM
gnu 01 Jan 12 - 04:05 PM
Rapparee 01 Jan 12 - 12:23 PM
Stilly River Sage 01 Jan 12 - 12:08 PM
Sandra in Sydney 31 Dec 11 - 11:40 PM
Rapparee 31 Dec 11 - 10:25 PM
Stilly River Sage 31 Dec 11 - 10:10 PM
Rapparee 31 Dec 11 - 09:40 PM
Rapparee 31 Dec 11 - 02:06 PM
Stilly River Sage 31 Dec 11 - 12:27 PM
MAG 31 Dec 11 - 12:07 PM
Stilly River Sage 31 Dec 11 - 11:31 AM
SINSULL 31 Dec 11 - 10:58 AM
Rapparee 31 Dec 11 - 10:25 AM
Stilly River Sage 30 Dec 11 - 11:58 PM
Rapparee 30 Dec 11 - 07:07 PM
MAG 30 Dec 11 - 11:48 AM
Rapparee 29 Dec 11 - 12:30 PM
SINSULL 29 Dec 11 - 12:27 PM
Rapparee 29 Dec 11 - 10:20 AM
freda underhill 29 Dec 11 - 05:59 AM
Sandra in Sydney 29 Dec 11 - 04:50 AM
Rapparee 29 Dec 11 - 12:34 AM
Bert 29 Dec 11 - 12:09 AM
Rapparee 28 Dec 11 - 10:34 PM
Ebbie 28 Dec 11 - 12:32 PM
SINSULL 28 Dec 11 - 12:15 PM
Rapparee 28 Dec 11 - 10:29 AM
GUEST,Nurse Ratched 27 Dec 11 - 11:08 PM
Rapparee 27 Dec 11 - 04:23 PM
SINSULL 27 Dec 11 - 10:48 AM
Stilly River Sage 27 Dec 11 - 10:46 AM

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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas-WELCOME 2012 - Tavern
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 06 Jan 12 - 04:03 AM

& Severn


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas-WELCOME 2012 - Tavern
From: gnu
Date: 05 Jan 12 - 01:56 PM

We shall never surrender.

Well... how long with the tavern be closed? Can I get a six pack of Turkey Turd Beer to tide me over? Say, that reminds me... where the heck is Spaw?


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas-WELCOME 2012 - Tavern
From: SINSULL
Date: 05 Jan 12 - 12:59 PM

Oh hell! Let's close this place and get ready for Valentine's Day. We will have to steam clean the green Jell-O away before replacing it with red.


SIGH!


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas-WELCOME 2012 - Tavern
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jan 12 - 08:42 AM

More than that, he'll serve you pieces of caramelized jello.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas-WELCOME 2012 - Tavern
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 04 Jan 12 - 11:58 PM

You mean he was Jellied Squid and the food properties weren't harmed?


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas-WELCOME 2012 - Tavern
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Jan 12 - 06:03 PM

Fortunately, the Giant Squid was underjello at the time and was unhurt.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas-WELCOME 2012 - Tavern
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 04 Jan 12 - 05:42 PM

A brief cheer goes up in the tavern as all eyes turn to the flickering old TV in the corner and hear Michelle Bachmann say she's out of the race. Then the group turns again to the more important task of picking through the rubble of tables and chairs to pick up the glasses needed by the bartender.

When the tree rocketed out of the tavern the high heat caramelized the edge of the jello pit. It is now hard and very sticky, an almost sucker-like consistency that can be broken off the edge of the pool with a hammer. It's sticky enough to pull out fillings if someone wanting a snack isn't careful. A few things were blown into the jello pit and are stuck to the surface where it was cooked by the heat.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas-WELCOME 2012 - Tavern
From: GUEST
Date: 04 Jan 12 - 04:56 AM

A Hanson's diet black cherry on gnu's tab. To your Patriots,old friend!

Thank you Mr. Gator.

Alexander Grahm Bell has worn out the charge in Severn's phone andfumes as he waits for the cell phone to recharge and downs another shot......


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas-WELCOME 2012 - Tavern
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Jan 12 - 10:21 AM

Yes. Mom told me.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas-WELCOME 2012 - Tavern
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 03 Jan 12 - 01:17 AM

The skin or the planet?


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas-WELCOME 2012 - Tavern
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jan 12 - 10:00 PM

It'll heal and grow back if you don't pick at it.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas-WELCOME 2012 - Tavern
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 02 Jan 12 - 08:34 PM

not a Happy New year for them


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas-WELCOME 2012 - Tavern
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 02 Jan 12 - 06:55 PM

Sev, I hope you stayed away from the outflow when Rap launched the tree, it was pretty hot. I really meant only for it to land in the next county, not in geosynchronous orbit, but heck, it sure beat the heck out of fire crackers and sparklers as it took off!

I'm not sure what you used to launch it, Rap, but it went way past the moon and the darned thing scraped a bit of hide off of Mars on it's way past.

Speaking of hot, some of you look a little too apple-cheeked - it'll wear off after a couple of days, it's only first and second degree burns. The smell of singed feathers and cat hair tells me that a couple of critters waited until the last minute to abandon their perches.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas-WELCOME 2012 - Tavern 2011
From: gnu
Date: 02 Jan 12 - 04:18 PM

What has been wreathed?

Sev... buddy... have one on me. A drink, I mean.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas-WELCOME 2012 - Tavern 2011
From: GUEST,Severn
Date: 02 Jan 12 - 03:49 PM

Ok, I'm somewhat gehtting used to this KindleFire device my daughter gave me, so I''ll give a shortfall wintertime summary of how Christmas came about in the tavern, as nobody seemed to be counting down. Just as midnight rolls around, like some sort of mudmiracle, what looks like a giant billboard appears above, and off steps Mother Mary herself, requisite yellow circle and everything, holding a pregnancy test in right hand. Throwing it over her shoulder, she yells, "LET IT BE-E E!". Out of the newly installed Baltimore-style cuckoo clock, a Raven pops out twelve times, calling out, "EVERMORE!", as a heavenly,yet unseen choir sings something about "Joy To The World, The Lord's Come!" After a period of silent rejoicing, Secret Santa wrapping p aper starts flying around like ticker -tape from a victory parade. "Seems like we've achieved a state of Christmas.....", muses Severn...
.

AND THAT'S HOW IT WAS! I SWEAR!_


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas-WELCOME 2012 - Tavern 2011
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jan 12 - 01:24 PM

I visited the Legion Hovel this morning. Confetti and streamers all over the place, including on the still-prostrate Legionnaires.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas-WELCOME 2012 - Tavern 2011
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jan 12 - 09:32 PM

The tree takes off!!


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas-WELCOME 2012 - Tavern 2011
From: gnu
Date: 01 Jan 12 - 06:47 PM

Happy WARM New Year, Mary.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas-WELCOME 2012 - Tavern 2011
From: SINSULL
Date: 01 Jan 12 - 05:57 PM

happy new year...quietly. We made rather merry last night.

Furnace is working/tank full. The serviceman bled the line and all is well.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas-WELCOME 2012 - Tavern 2011
From: gnu
Date: 01 Jan 12 - 04:05 PM

SINS... run out of oil or did yer furnace actually die? This is worriesome either way.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas-WELCOME 2012 - Tavern 2011
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jan 12 - 12:23 PM

With a burst of flame and hearty "Hi-ho, silver!" the tree was rocketed into geosynchronous orbit at exactly midnight, some time zone or another. Word from the ISS is that it missed orbit and is continuing on the way towards the Moon. It's hoped that it will not interfere with the satellites NASA put in orbit there recently.

No ornaments or tinsel were lost in the launch, nor was Squiddy hurt.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas-WELCOME 2012 - Tavern 2011
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 01 Jan 12 - 12:08 PM

0!

Funny, I can remember 2011 just like it was yesterday . . .

SRS


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas-WELCOME 2012 - Tavern 2011
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 31 Dec 11 - 11:40 PM

6


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas-WELCOME 2012 - Tavern 2011
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Dec 11 - 10:25 PM

No, just sort of a count down. You know: 10, ah...4, ...mabbe 8....


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas-WELCOME 2012 - Tavern 2011
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 31 Dec 11 - 10:10 PM

Idaho time countdown?


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas-WELCOME 2012 - Tavern 2011
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Dec 11 - 09:40 PM

The countdown has begun....


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas-WELCOME 2012 - Tavern 2011
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Dec 11 - 02:06 PM

Here's an idea:

We strap a couple of drums of fuel oil, even sludge, to the tree. Next to them we strap drums of liquid oxygen. We put tubes from each drum into a funnel-shaped dealy. At launch time Squiddy opens the valves and off goes the tree, launched into orbit just behind the ISS! Those folks up there can celebrate with a tree that'll be only slightly used!


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas-WELCOME 2012 - Tavern 2011
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 31 Dec 11 - 12:27 PM

Oops. The recipe didn't come through!


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas-WELCOME 2012 - Tavern 2011
From: MAG
Date: 31 Dec 11 - 12:07 PM

hm, i've got oil heat for the first time in my life -- when it ran out a couple of weeks ago, i had to figure out how to bleed air out of the line -- must i deal w/ sludge, too?

ah well, to hell w/ it; here is my recipe for cuban crema da vie -- knocks you on yer arse


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas-WELCOME 2012 - Tavern 2011
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 31 Dec 11 - 11:31 AM

A bruise from the tree or the spud? You know what happens when we start launching trees, the get to wobbling or swinging, but tonight is the night and if we grease the skids with enough alcohol (straight or in mixed drinks) it should launch and people will feel no pain. It's bound to work, don't you think?


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas-WELCOME 2012 - Tavern 2011
From: SINSULL
Date: 31 Dec 11 - 10:58 AM

Hot toddy, please. My furnace crapped out. It happens when you run out of oil.
So much for scheduled mdeliveries. Apparently the warm weather has thrown off their degree day system.
BRRRRRRR.
Can't wait to se how much sludge finds its way into the furnace.
SINS, cranky-er


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas-WELCOME 2012 - Tavern 2011
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Dec 11 - 10:25 AM

That will certainly leave a hard-to-explain bruise!


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas-WELCOME 2012 - Tavern 2011
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 30 Dec 11 - 11:58 PM

A mudelf was bribed to alter the thread title in order to welcome in the New Year in the same venue. Sage noticed that things came to a screeching halt when one of our major sources of Punishment in each visit was whisked away to the facility just beyond the Mudcat Recovery Ward by our very own Nurse Ratched, and wonders if the woman has preternatural powers?

Time to shift things into high gear for the moving of Severn to a new room. Perhaps they'll manage to deliver a laptop to him and he can watch as the trebuchet is pulled out of the storeroom between the kitchen and the back door. The ONLY way to undecorate after xmas is to simply launch that tree back out of the the building by the way it came it. Through the hole, that is, and this time it doesn't need to ride a reindeer.

All cats, ducks, squid, and tiny reindeer are forewarned: Time to leave the boughs of the tree or you'll be taking a fast ride out into the cold night air, and are liable to land in a snowbank somewhere.

Perhaps Sev has heard of this pending tree-ejection and is acting in solidarity: it seems he knows that hospital IV tubing is an excellent stretchy material for lobbing objects. Nurse Ratched just got hit at 50 paces in the bum with a baked potato from his dinner tray.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2011
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Dec 11 - 07:07 PM

Break out the other half of the infinite booze supply. Tomorrow's New Year's Eve!!!! We can all since NYE carols around the Christmas tree while sipping grog until we're groggy.

Maybe Sev will even stop in.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2011
From: MAG
Date: 30 Dec 11 - 11:48 AM

cant say goodbye yet


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2011
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Dec 11 - 12:30 PM

Probably more like a puny linebacker with enormous shoulder pads.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2011
From: SINSULL
Date: 29 Dec 11 - 12:27 PM

HMMMM Wonder if Sev will look like all those women on Dallas with the enormous shoulder pads?


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2011
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Dec 11 - 10:20 AM

Thank you, I try to be humble and modest and understated. There, I will buy Afterburners and Purple Jesuses for everyone in the Tavern. As many as you can stomach.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2011
From: freda underhill
Date: 29 Dec 11 - 05:59 AM

yeh, subtle, that Rap. 'n Sev - where is he? come on Sev, we wanna know how you are..


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2011
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 29 Dec 11 - 04:50 AM

Rap is always polite


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2011
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Dec 11 - 12:34 AM

Freed of his bed of pain, he stands. He takes a great breath and says, quietly (as is his wont):

SEVERN!! GET YOUR DAMN ASS BACK HERE OR I'LL KICK IT UP BETWEEN YOUR SHOULDER BLADES TO FAR IT'LL LOOK LIKE YOU HAVE A PAIR OF STUBBY WINGS!! DO IT NOW!!!!

And hank you for your promptness in this matter.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2011
From: Bert
Date: 29 Dec 11 - 12:09 AM

Severn, get your sorry arse back here, tout suite, chop chop, hummy hummy.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2011
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Dec 11 - 10:34 PM

Here's a barrel. Drunk up!


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2011
From: Ebbie
Date: 28 Dec 11 - 12:32 PM

Well now, Sins, that's neat.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2011
From: SINSULL
Date: 28 Dec 11 - 12:15 PM

theinsideouttrickdidnotworkthistimecouldihavesomejdontherocksholdtherocksthankyou


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2011
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Dec 11 - 10:29 AM

If anyone tries to electrify the jello pool I'm pretty sure the squid will eat them. At the very least he'll hug them like they've never been hugged before (except for LtS).


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2011
From: GUEST,Nurse Ratched
Date: 27 Dec 11 - 11:08 PM

Well, who the hell does he think he is, making off with my syringe and partying like there's no tomorrow?

.. I know what a ham that man is. (a little salty but otherwise pretty well smoked and cured). What his heart needs is a good shot of adrenalin - I intend to come in and perform my own copyrighted form of heart massage - I put my Doc Martin's on and jump ten times on his chest. as they say, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

He's always been a strange one, obsessed about his tentacles and no fear of going blind with it. What he needs is some ELECTRIC CHARGED jello, the sort to give him a little shock if he engages in inappropriate behaviour with a squid.

And perhaps I could try my Latvian great grandmother's Christmas stuffed reindeer cure - beat patient with reindeer head until subject becomes limp, then insert antler into deepest orifice and grind, followed by a quick eggnog and celery douche. Follow by second shot of electric jello, underdone tile slightly sizzling.

cheerie-bye

N.R.


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2011
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Dec 11 - 04:23 PM

Bed rolls? Aren't they made in bed pans?

Look! My cast is gone!


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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2011
From: SINSULL
Date: 27 Dec 11 - 10:48 AM

Wait!
I think my inside out trick may work. I will grab the doorknob, run for the entrance to the hospital and CRASH, BAM, BOOM #@%$&**&*&!^??>

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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2011
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 27 Dec 11 - 10:46 AM

Do you think his bed rolls? We could spring him from the joint, or at least move him to a larger room where more of us would fit and the ducks, cats, squid, and reindeer could participate. You know, reindeer games and all that. Someone better bring along a bathrobe. I hear those hospital gowns aren't very good at staying closed. We don't want to expose any shortcomings. . .


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Mudcat time: 8 August 5:46 AM EDT

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